#WELL! not a funny post at all. just a text idea I had in mind

[stalkiwi]

All my friends are laughing at something, happy about it, joyous. I remain neutral, merely observing the scene.

"Why are you not happy?" one turns to me, noticing my expression.

Because I don't get it, I reply.

"You just don't care about us."

I may not get it, I understand that it's making you happy. And it's what matters - I'm glad to know my friends are happy - I explain.

"You don't show it - you're lying." they blame me.

I struggle to show it. But it doesn't mean that I do not care - I simply cannot express it.

"You're always acting like that around us. Just tell us if you don't like being with us." they growl.

But I don't understand. I am myself around my friends. Isn't it a proof that I am comfortable to be with them?

"You're always silent, you act different, you make no efforts for us, you're not polite, you don't dress well, you don't smile - you really look like we're bothering you."

Should I be someone I am not? Am I being appreciated for who I am? Or for who I am expected to be?

"Don't you know social codes?"

Social codes make no sense to me. No matter how much I am being explained them. I ask nothing to anyone, I expect nothing about anyone, but to be respected, and I respect them in return.

"Respect is about making an effort to be agreeable around us."

To me, respect is to understand everyone is different, and to accept it - to not force them to step out of their comfort for you. That someone refuses to dress in an elegant way or to spray perfume when they visit me is not a message to tell me that they do not like me. It means nothing, in fact, to me.

"Don't you see you're making our lives worse? You're disgusting, you're needy, you're unpleasant."

Then why staying with me? If I am ruining your life by simply existing, then you should not be around me - it's what I say.

"But we care about you!"

I appreciate, but the "me" you care about is not who I am. I'm sorry.

[lianella-artist]

Dad!Ren and his daughter Shayla (My OC fankid!!!)

FINALLY, after some hard work i represent to you.. My OC Shayla! Shayla is based on the official cutiesigh artwork with AU Dad!Ren. This post will have all the basic info about her so far + some headcanons about Ren's family life and his relationship with Shayla. So it's going to be a kinda? long post! I've put a lot of work and love into these arts. Enjoy :3

Redacted holding Shayla!! and their very different reactions

They're just having a bit of a nap on the sofa after Shayla painted Ren's face... and Shayla is drooling on dad's soft chest😭 (kind of inspired?? by this post!)

Her reference:

BASIC INFO

Clarification: in my AU, where there is Shayla, Redacted doesn't pretend to be Ren, but acts naturally! But I use both names in the text

Shayla is a kind, naive, sincere, energetic and cheerful girl who is always looking for adventure. But often, due to her age, her trusting nature and her curiosity, she doesn't always understand the risks and ends up in various messes. The girl is very friendly to everyone she meets! She believes that the world is a kind and beautiful place! Some kids think that Shayla is strange and weird (at least because of her "weird" family), which is why she gets mocked, but she doesn't read social cues (she's kinda autistic coded).

Likes: creative activities (drawing, needlework, sewing (not very wearable yet), making different outfits, daddy's jewelry, laughing, getting up early, climbing trees.

Dislikes: being controlled and restricted, rudeness, social games (she doesn't understand them).

She is the only and most wanted child for Ren and Angel, they had her when they were 30-35 years old. They love her very much!! Thanks to Ren, the family is very wealthy! Redacted spoils her a lot, fulfills all her wishes (well, as much as possible, since it's all after Angel, of course). In Shayla's family, both parents work, but Ren does it from home like he used to. So while Angel is at work, Redacted spends most of his time with their daughter. He picks her up from school, takes her to classes, goes for walks with her + does the housework, cooks, etc (basically he's a stay-at-home dad, because I don't think he needs to spend half a day on hacking; a couple of three hours is enough). With the birth of Shayla, Ren has begun to keep an eye not only on Angel, but also on their daughter, though not as closely. Thanks to this, he manages to get the girl out of trouble in time, but he often arrives at the very last moment.

Shayla is very attached to her father, she thinks he is the coolest dad in the world!!! She loves spending time with him, as well as his dark style and tattoos! She is a daddy's girl :))

While Angel is undoubtedly still Ren's top priority, Redacted genuinely loves his daughter both as an affirmation/continuation of their love with Angel AND for who she is. Her cheerful nature often lifts his spirits. Now, he has another person in his life who helps him see the world through a different, less apathetic and indifferent lens. Ren sees how naive and kind his daughter is and protects her to keep that light in her. And when Shayla comes up with questionable ideas… He supports her! He even suggests something himself😭 BUT even he has limits. He will not do anything that might harm her.

(pretty much everything canon about how Sai describes Dad!Ren)

RANDOM FACTS AND HEADCANONS:

I named her after that meme OOHH MY SHAYLAAA😭 (I didn't have a name for her at first, so I just called her that in my mind for a while. It was actually quite funny to me… but eventually it started to grow on me, ngl, so I kept it)

You know those stories where a kid goes into their mom's makeup bag, purse, or closet and tries on something? In this case, mom is Ren💀 Shayla loves to find all kinds of alt stuff from Redacted, ask what it is, and then try it on herself! Redacted gave her some - a spiked bracelet and a silver chain!

Ren agrees to paint Shayla's nails. She wears all the colors of the rainbow, but she likes to keep all her nails black on one hand, though!

Thanks to the creative atmosphere in the family and Redacted's alternative style, Shayla will be a goth in the future! She's also going to become an alt-clothing designer.

She is wearing three of the five gold hairpins that Ren used to wear! When Redacted and Angel got married, he started wearing only two hairpins - a symbol of their relationship. Years later, when Shayla was born and grew up, the rest of the hairpins were inherited to her, and she wears them with great pride, just like the rest of her dad's jewelry.

Shayla also has her dad's features. She has pale, dry skin and black hair. However, her eyes are a unique combination of Ren's color (blue) + my Angel's (red) = creating a beautiful purple color for her.(I know that's not how gynetics works lmaoo I just think it's cute!!!)

aaaand also, @yzumimenu drew some amazing fanart of Shayla, LOOK AT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TY SO MUCH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[milktrician]

Hello hello! :D

SQH-SY siblings au for the ask game, please?

I'm pretty sure I wrote this after someone wrote a text post about the idea but idk if I would be able to track that down, or if it existed at all and I'm misremembering. Anyway, I didn't really have a set plot in mind after I wrote this short snippet other than it would be very funny for Shen Yuan to try and actively sabotague Shang Qinghua's efforts to become head disciple of An Ding while looking as innocent as possible. I don't think I'm going to write anymore for this idea as I have other wips I want to focus on but feel free anyone to write out their own interpretation! Anyways, here's what I wrote a few weeks back:

[ Activation code: “Dumbfuck author, dumbfuck novel.” System automatically triggered ]

What? What the fuck is this?

[ Host is in the midst of transmigration! ]

No—what? This is a dream, Airplane’s stupid fucking writing must have made me pass out!

Rrgh! I need to punch the fucker IRL!

[ Host would like to see Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky? ]

YES!

[ Beginning transmigration… ]

What?

“Oh! It’s a boy!”

“W-Wait what? Doctor, didn’t you say it was going to be a girl?”

What the hell?

He feels himself get wrapped within a cloth, and suddenly he's enveloped in warmth. He’s being…held?

Any attempt to move his limbs is caught by the cloth wrapped around him. His tongue presses against toothless gums, and his vision is too blurry to make out anything.

No…

“Haha, well surprises always happen! Did you have a name in mind if you two had another son?”

“Ah, well I suppose we never gave any thought to it. A-Yu, you’re always good at coming up with names with your little stories, how about you name your little brother?”

No…

“You…ah, shouldn’t it be up to you two? Like erm. Tradition or something? Like this is a whole baby I sh-shouldn’t be responsible for the name he’ll be called for the rest of his life!”

A woman then laughs above him, 

“A-Yu, I think I’m much too tired to think right now. You’re a smart boy, any name you come up with I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

He…died. 

Transmigration’s real!?

AND HE’S A BABY!

Oh—whoever this person is, please don’t name him something stupid.

[ Don’t worry Host! This System has you covered! ]

“…Yuan?” Whoever “A-Yu” is, he said that like he wasn’t even sure of it himself! Thank god he still has his old name in this life at least.

“Shang Yuan…I like that.”

System…where have I transmigrated?

[ This System operates in line with the design concept “YOU CAN YOU UP, NO CAN NO BB”; we hope to provide you with the best possible experience. It is our sincere wish that during your time, you can fulfill your desires and, in accordance to your wish, ‘see Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky’ ]

[ Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times! ]

What now?!

[ User has completed his wish! ]

I…did?

[ Entering Limited Sandbox Mode! Feel free to explore within the constraints of the plot! ]

[ We hope you enjoy the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way! ]

WHAT?

“Ah! He’s crying, give him here.”

“Ahh. You’re so cute lil bro! Cutest baby in the whole wide world!”

A-Yu, or Shang Hongyu, is his new older brother in this life and is maybe eight or nine years older than him. He’s apparently very smart for his age, and their parents are already tutoring him to take over their father’s business.

He hears his older brother sniffle,

“Too bad you’ll probably never see me again in a few years.” he says, “I’ve gotta head to Cang Qiong and make my way up An Ding in the next few years.”

Hold on a second.

His older brother holds him tight against his chest, and from here he can feel his breath shudder.

“I’ve never had a sibling by blood before.”

He’s brought to his sibling’s bed and his brother lays next to him lazily.

“Just a few more years and you guys won’t have to see me again.” his brother says to noone, “They’re…surprisingly good parents, didi. Once they don’t have me to worry about, they can spoil you as much as you want.”

Geez, what kind of weird complex do you have?

Though. Shang surely is a common surname right? Lots of Shangs to go to An Ding!

System where in the timeline are we?

[ System is currently in maintenance for future updates! ]

Fine. He’ll figure it out his own way!

His own chubby fingers are able to grab onto his brother’s robe.

“Gege.” He says, to the best of his ability with his shitty little baby mouth.

He doesn’t expect his brother to burst out crying and start to hug him tight.

[ink-stainedkiss]

This isn't necessarily a request (unless you like the idea😍) but i am WEAK for saiki kusuo being happy and laughing, as ooc as it sounds IDC HES MY BABY AND HES HUMAN THEREOFRE I CONCLUDE THIS BOY CAN HAVE HIS DAILY DOSE OF GIGGLES.

Like, i read the fic you made on saiki finding readers thoughts funny, and i BAJDJSJAJDBS I SQUEALED.

Just imagining him breaking character, or AUDIBLY laughing, is so so sweet bro im not even joking. He'd only ever be comfortable doing it infront of his mom probably, or his close friends. EVEN SO.

Just needed to get it off my chest. 🙂 if you ever make more fics with happy/giggly saiki i might actually marry you. 🙂🙂🙂

This one goes specifically to you queen😍 and No. I’m going to marry you🫵😼

Missing You

Synopsis: Saiki starts to feel a bit weird when you are out and he realizes he misses you. Now to find a way to get you home faster…

Merry Christmas for those who celebrate! I hope you all had a great time because I sure did. Sorry my activity has been a little slow these past days have been busier than expected, so this one’s going to be a bit short. Also thank you all for the likes on my later posts! It feels so amazing to see you guys enjoying my other works. Anyways, please enjoy this tooth-rotting fluff of our beloved Saiki💕

“You on the phone”

“Saiki on the phone”

*Saiki is wearing his telepathy blocking ring in this, so he's speaking normally*

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.2k

Everyone knew that Saiki was not a dependent person. He was the furthest thing from it. He loved his alone time- actually scratch that. He craved alone time. It was just his luck that he was always surrounded by people that caused him so much mental pain. To Saiki’s surprise, he had found someone he tolerated. Well it was more than that, but you guys were just friends, so he couldn’t say anything. He realized you were the only one that didn’t put Saiki through a problem which he had to solve. There were no long adventures when you talked to him in the halls. No using his powers to fix something you had done. He was able to act perfectly normal around you. Which is why he grew such an affection toward you. He grew so comfortable that he told you about his abilities and like he expected you took it well.

Today was one of his favorite days. Where he was able to hang around your home without a care in the world. Whatever his friends were up to outside of your house was not Saiki’s business, nor did he care about it. He had developed a routine when you text him to come over. He would arrive at your house, wear his germanium ring and let his worries wash away. It was the closest thing he could get to being a normal teenager and he was damn sure going to use his time wisely. Whenever Saiki stayed at your home, you would ask to do something, nothing crazy. Something simple like baking a batch of cookies, watching a movie on the couch, or if you were very bored, you would ask to do Saiki’s hair, which he never denied. Because, well, it was you. How could he say no?

Today was a bit different. You had mentioned you needed to run some errands and you promised you would back around noon. Saiki was fine with this since it meant he would have the house to himself. You trusted him greatly so you didn’t mind if he stuck around while you were out. When you left he gave a small nod and then the house was silent. Today was very different because something felt off. He had been reading a book on your shelf out of interest, but for the past five minutes, he had been rereading the same sentence over and over. Something was tugging in his head, but he wasn’t sure what was wrong.

Today was different because he felt so off without you in the same room as him. He checked the clock, realizing I had only been an hour and a half since you left. You wouldn’t be back until later, so Saiki had to find something to distract himself. Today was different because tried to cure his “boredom” with his powers. He turned on your kitchen sink, watching blankly as he made shapes and animals out of the liquid. When that didn’t stop the tugging, he moved onto your room. He felt slightly better resting on your bed and he played it off as being tired, but no. When he kept checking the clock to see if it was any closer to noon, he came to the horrifying conclusion that he missed you.

It was such a foreign feeling. Saiki? Wanting someone to be around him? Well that’s what happens when you sneak your way into his heart. The psychic couldn’t stand it anymore and grabbed his phone, clicking on your contact and placing the device to his ear. The small buzzing reached his ear and he felt a small fragment of relief when you answered after the second ring.

“Hey Saiki, what’s up?”

He sighed, a bit humiliated he felt this way.

“Nothing.”

“Then did you need something?”

“When are you going to be home?”

He said home like he lived here with you, but if you minded, you didn’t make it obvious.

“I should be there in maybe three hours.”

That did not help.

“Can you get here sooner?”

“Why? Is something wrong?”

“Yes.”

Might as well since there isn’t anything else getting you here faster. Saiki thought.

A small gasp sounded through the speaker, “I thought you said nothing was happening?”

“Just get here fast.”

And with that he hung up the phone.

—

You raced to your house, hoping you wouldn’t find it in ashes or hit by a tornado. Maybe you were being dramatic, but why would Saiki call you and tell you to come home quickly? It was shocking that you didn’t get pulled over at the pace you were driving home. When you pulled onto your street, you were thankful to not see any smoke, but that didn’t make you slow down. You slammed to a stop in your driveway, panic flooding your veins. You unlocked your door at lightning speed and the second it was open, you called out,”I’m here! What happened?!”

You shut the door behind you, scanning for some sort of danger, but you find your house was still intact. You were so confused. You were expecting some sort of freak accident with Saiki’s powers, but everything was in place.

“Nothing wrong.”

You whipped around, finding Saiki had teleported behind you. You blinked in confusion,”What are you talking about? You told me to get here quick and I-“ “I lied.” Your arms dropped at your side in defeat,”Then why am I here right now?” He gave you an emotionless stare,”Because I wanted you to be.”

Still in shock, you looked around, finding a scattered book on your couch. It was odd because Saiki is always the one to be neat. You turned to the boy, noticing how he was hardly making eye contact with you and he clearly wanted to say more. You recalled his words over the phone, then it all clicked.

“Saiki,” your words were barely above a whisper,”Did you miss me?”

The things that happened next were a blur. In the blink of an eye two arms were wrapping around you and you could feel Saiki’s head in the crook of your neck. He didn’t respond to your question, but this was enough to answer it. Honestly, you were a bit nervous. Was this really the same Saiki? The one who barely let people stand close to him, was holding onto you like a lifeline. You felt a long sigh escape his lips and instinctively you reached one hand up to rest in his pink hair and the other embracing him over his shoulder.

“I didn’t know how else to get you here.” He confessed gently, making your heart melt,”You could have just asked, Kusuo.” He tucked himself more into your neck, almost hiding his face from you,”But you were busy.” You rolled your eyes, “It was just getting groceries, I would have dropped everything if I knew you wanted me here.”

Saiki didn’t know how to respond, instead he used his teleportation to take you both to your room. You let out a grunt as you back hit your mattress, but your attention changed to the boy resting on you. He looked so at peace and you couldn’t believe this was still the same person. (It’s not like you were complaining.) As you softly played with his pink hair, a small idea popped into your head. Maybe I should go out more often if this is what I get to come home too…

[matchadobo]

KIDD; kiss-proof lipstick review

warning/s: very fluff, fem reader, youtuber/streamer!kidd, shy!s/o, modern au, most nsfw thing could happen is an abrupt makeout

note: based from this -> post, smaller italicized texts are sub-bullets

kidd as a youtuber that normally does metal covers with his band (heat, killer, and wire)

has about a solid following of 100k subs bc they're just so cool

that is until his viewers asked for his makeup tut bc he always looks so bomb

his viewers have also requested fit checks like what he wears in a week

kidd forgot to mention that he has a s/o, which mildly upset a certain demographic who was ahem thirsty for him

you as his gf doesn't really mind if he talks to himself in front of his phone or camera on random times, but he always tells you a quick warning beforehand bc you sometimes appear on the bg of his vids/streamer

i also think that at some point, kidd does game streams bc he's lazy to edit. his fanbase supports any content he does whether it's just yap streams or food streams or band rehearsals

i feel like he always aims for competitive games that are pvp like MK, COD, league, etc. it just feeds his ego, and he enjoys trashtalking 😭 riling his opponent up and all that

it's all so funny, which explains his fanbase that tolerates his insufferable temper and jokes. it takes a certain kind of humor that other people might take as offensive

but the second he got sponsored by a punk make-up line, a pr box arrived at his doorstep bc he rarely checks his emails

he'd ask you to do a makeup stream with him, but you were too shy about it. especially after being the final boss of a certain demographic that is attracted to him 😭 but you never told him that. knowing him, he'll probably flip all of them off and cause drama

he'd start up stream, poorly introducing the products. you laughed to yourself at how bad he was at complimenting or kissing ass to the brand he legit has never heard of😭

kidd knows how to apply his makeup; shadow, liner, and lipstick. he tried on a purple and red shadow combo and his usual full eye liner.

his stream at that point became very chill, his fans loving every bit of his craft and how focused he was doing everything. especially at how he looked like afterward

"now we got- kiss-proof lipstick? they sent me a shit ton of fuckin' shades!" he showed a whole box of liquid lipsticks. laughing at the ridiculous amount.

his fanbase requested a test of the kiss proof on his palm, showing interest in the product

but kidd had different ideas. it might be a good way to hard launch you already.

his ig and twt already had pictures of you during dates, but your face was always hidden most of the time

"a test on my palm? oh boy, i have a better idea for that."

he'd call you, "babe! baby! c'mere a moment, i need ya a bit."

his chat would go: "babe?!?! omg hard launch?!", "omg here is his s/o!", "OH GOD KIDD YOU SLICK CHEEKY FUCK!"

you'd be scared for a bit, but kidd looked really excited. besides you also want to check out his makeup products.

"are we gonna do it together?" you muttered lowly, referring to the review

"kinda." he shrugged. "i just got one lil job for you, you'd love it promise."

you were skeptical at first but oh well. kidd lets you pick the lipstick of your choice, which was a bright red. it always looks good on him.

the chat was highkey going crazy when your body from neck below was showing

they also noticed how kidd started acting differently, he spoke softly and he had this meek smile while looking up at you

he lets you apply it on him. you were now seating with the seat he pulled to let you down. the chat now being able to see you. you waved a hi shyly, and man the view count started going up

twt was already full of you guys 😖

kidd then fanned his lips, waiting for the product to dry.

"ok, what's next?" you asked, popping the lid close

"this." he grabbed the back of your head and kissed you on stream. holding the kiss pretty good in there, smirking through it as he did so, before sucking on your lips open

you were too flustered and frozen but he even had the audacity to angle his head the other way to continue kissing you

it was pretty fucking lewd, he was really getting in there

but you, you melted from his lips and his firm grip on your nape

the chat and stream lagged at the amount of chats and view counts increasing exponentially

once he pulled away after a good 2 minutes, he turned to the screen and said, "so? it really is kiss proof, aye?" he bursted out laughing at your reaction which was the same when he started kissing you 🤣

the chat also went hysterical, both from freaking out with the both of you and your reaction

you honestly didn't mind, you half expected it. it's kidd we're talking about🤣 because kidd did it as a flex and as a fuck you to his haters (especially those who were targeting you)

you had to excuse yourself which resulted to even more comedic response from kidd at how cute you are. you were burning red btw

you later come back to tell kidd and chat that you're okay, and you plan to get back on him for that

JASDHSAJDJSAJDSA I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! JUST DID THIS LAST NIGHT

[hotchfiles]

hotch "representing the bau" hotchner x activist!reader who won't stand for bullshit

not like actual conflict cause we know hotch is a very principled guy

more like

"shit i can't shitpost about overthrowing the government anymore cause my boyfriend is the government" vibes

you have no idea how deeply i feel about this i've actually posted about this because i'm very much against all cops and he's a literal fed ! but

You met in the most conventional of ways, which makes the whole thing even funnier to the outside person. A bar. You noticed him the moment he walked in, too downright gorgeous to be ignored, you stare at him completely shamelessly and get a few shy awkward smiles in return while he sips on his first drink and talks to his companion, who you later learned was Rossi.

He will find it later on that you're not really up for games, but it takes him by surprise when you approach him, card in hand with your phone number and the red stain of your red lips on the other side. He's immediately smitten, being flirted with so openly at his age does wonders for his ego and he makes sure to text you as soon as he gets back to his apartment.

The texting back and forth goes for hours, a lot of flirting, you're much more outspoken than he is, but still you find him hilarious, you will be telling your friends he's the funny one between you two (none of them will believe you, but you like having this only to yourself as well).

You talk movies, plays, music, favorite drinks and by 2AM he asks you on a date. It’s perfect from the get go. He's flattering, compliments your choice of clothes, says he likes the lipstick (the same you used on the card he is keeping safe on his wallet), takes you to a nice restaurant.

You tell him since you made the very first move, he would have to be the one to kiss you, he argues he sent you the first text so you should be the one to do it, in the end none of you know who took the first move, you're just sure you were the one to unlock your apartment door, stumbling along with him as you two passionately kissed.

It's not common for this to happen for him, he's too much of a gentleman, sleeping with someone on the first date isn't the gentlemanly thing to do, you're not attached to those norms so even if he tried to argue, your lips glued to his neck as you worked on his belt took his mind off of it.

It's not until the next morning that he really notices your place: The types of books you had, some revolutionary art pieces and it's then he realizes he has no idea what you do for a living. Neither did he tell you he was a FBI agent. You two talked long hours and career wasn't even a topic (that may be why you caught his heart so fast).

You were a journalist, a writer, quite proficient and known for your progressive ideals and less than civil protests, so when you both realize the differences and the conflict it might bring, the first instinct was to pull away. Forget the whole thing. It was only one date after all.

It's a matter of days for the realization that being apart won't happen, your thoughts are filled with him and his voice and the way he touched you and Aaron can possibly detail every curve of your body and the way you smelled as if he was still in bed with you.

There's a mutual agreement of public discretion, you can't have your readers knowing you're falling for a fed, nor does the media needs any more reasons to write about the FBI.

His team knows though, and so does Strauss, she had to be warned of the possibility of your name popping up in some lists. She reads half of your writings after that, highlighting stuff you should not be writing about (you won't listen to her on it) and the compromise you make is to keep all of your opposition material completely professional, no tweets, no tiktoks, nothing of the sort with jokes about overthrowing the government.

"Did you... Did you just cite and use one of Stalin's books as a resource here?" He asks, he's in your bed, blue boxer shorts and white t-shirt on, completely comfortable with you already, his reading glasses sit on top of his nose like an old man and he furrows his brows, looking up at you. Aaron's interested in what you write, he truly reads whatever you hand him just to learn more about you, he's not the one to try to censure any of it.

"Well yeah... His writings are the easiest to comprehend on the topic." You shrug, not understanding the tone of his question at first.

"Honey... You can't just... Do you know how many... Forget it. Your editor will love it." His poor attempts to talk you down failing each time he looked over and saw your expectant eyes as his opinion is important to you. You smile at his defeat, taking the papers from his hand and throwing somewhere else in the room, his glasses go to the bedside table and soon you're kissing any of his worries away.

[h0neybb]

— i'm so mature, i'm so mature

୨୧ yoon keeho x m!7thmember!reader ୨୧ keeho finally convinces you, the grumpiest and most monotonous member, to sit in on his solo stage, and you have a very embarrassing fun time. ୨୧ request?: yes ! ୨୧ caution: none, just fluffy goodness! (+2nd person, not proofread) ୨୧ wc: 1.2k

—

It was probably about the hundredth time he'd asked; and that was no exaggeration. It had been happening for the past week. Keeho would come up to you, drop to his knees if he could, clasp his hands together as if he were praying — the more you thought about it, he probably was — and just beg you to be a part of his solo stage. He had tried everything, too. He asked nicely, he asked not so nicely, he tried to be commanding, he tried to be cute, he tried to be funny... but you just weren't budging.

You had heard him practicing the song one day and decided to sneak in and listen. You had always loved his voice, after all. So you leaned on the doorframe as he sang. The words flowed from his lips like honey, and you sighed softly at how soothing his voice was when he wasn't being unreasonably loud or silly.

You clapped a bit as he finished singing, startling him. Soon, though, he smiled, and a light dusting of pink settled on his cheeks.

"Did that change your mind?" He suddenly asked, and though you wanted to pretend like you didn't, you knew exactly what he was talking about.

"How about this," You began in that slightly raspy baritone that everybody seemed to love so much. "I'll sit in once. Just to hear you."

You could've sworn that Keeho had just received all of the wealth in the world. His eyes lit up and he pulled you in for a tight hug. You were never the greatest with physical affection, but you had to admit, seeing him happy made your heart skip a beat. "I love you." You suddenly heard him mumble from where he was buried into your chest, his voice muffled, but just as strong and sincere as ever.

"I love you," You whispered in return. He was so persuasive. What had you gotten yourself into?

Soon enough, you were travelling around, and he asked nearly every morning if today was the day that you were going to sit in. Every day, you shook your head, and he began to worry that maybe you had lied to him to get him to stop talking.

It seemed like out of nowhere, it was the final day of the entire tour. He came up to you that morning with almost sad eyes, and you held his face gently, running your thumb over his cheekbones as you spoke. "We made a deal, didn't we?" You leaned in and quickly pecked the tip of his nose, and he instantly perked up. He was so excited, he was practically bouncing off of the walls, telling the rest of the members — hell, telling pretty much anyone that would listen — that you had actually agreed and how he was right, even though nobody believed him. Nobody was actually just Theo and Jiung, but he didn't care. He got to stick it in their faces, now.

That night, the show went on as per usual. But, of course, the solo stages swung to the forefront, and you were now sitting down on a small stool on center stage, thousands of cheers ringing out around you as the fans saw not only Keeho onstage, but you as well. You apprehensively smiled, as if trying to silently communicate to every P1ece in the crowd that no, you're not here by choice. you're here because Keeho annoyed you into agreeing to be here.

Yet, you heard that honey-like voice ring out again, and your expression immediately softened. You could picture it even now; tiktoks posted with the caption being 'He has such a soft spot for Keeho', the clip being used in youtube compilations with text popping up on screen saying that they totally shipped you two. You chuckled to yourself

You didn't have much time to think about it, though, because Keeho was suddenly right next to you, tilting your chin up to look at him as he stared back down at you with his lovely, bright smile.

"I might kill my ex, not the best idea," He sang, carefully tapping the end of your nose with the tip of his finger, obviously teasing you. "His new girlfriend's next, how'd I get here?" His voice dripped with happiness and the most subtle type of love that you had learned to pick up on. He was singing the original lyrics, that cheeky bastard. He had swapped the gender of them for every other show, but no, he was very obviously singing the original lyrics.

This continued, too. He pinched your cheeks, grabbed the collar of your shirt to pull you closer, and was an overall menace as he continued to sing sweetly, close enough to your ear at times that you could hear his natural voice, not heightened or reverberated by the microphone and pa system.

"I did it all for love" He placed a hand-heart against your cheek.

"I did all of this on no drugs, I did this sober" He grabbed his usual prop, the sword, from one of his belt loops. "Don't you know I did it all for us?" He pretended to stab you with the sword as he continued to sing, plunging it between your arm and your torso to make it seem like he stabbed you in the stomach. Honestly, you couldn't help but play along. He was just having so much fun, you had to crack a smile at how silly he was. You doubled over and clutched your stomach, trying to refrain from laughing as he looked back at you and laughed into the mic mid-lyric.

When the song came to a close, the crowd cheered thunderously, and Keeho dropped his prop and jogged over to you, hugging you from where you sat.

Later that night, long after the concert was over and you were back in your hotel rooms, Keeho knocked on your door. His hair was damp and the faint scent of a sweet-smelling body wash lingered on his skin. He was smiling brightly when you opened the door, and He immediately hugged you again.

"You killed it out there." He mumbled as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

"How much do you wanna bet somebody's gonna start a rumour that we're dating because of that performance?" You chuckled, pulling him into your room and shutting the door behind you as he dragged you over to the plush hotel bed.

"Well, they wouldn't really be wrong, would they?" Keeho retaliated as he flopped down on the mattress, smiling when he heard the laugh that so rarely slipped out of you. "...Thank you." He whispered, suddenly serious. He held onto your hands, bringing them up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. You laid down next to him and he pulled you close settling under the covers. Of course, he wasn't going to sleep in his own bed. You should've known better.

"You're never gonna be my ex." He mumbled, already half asleep due to your warmth and the exertion of the day.

"Is that so?" You responded with a chuckle, slipping under the covers yourself as exhaustion began to overcome you, as well.

"I'm gonna make sure of it." Keeho yawned. He shut his eyes and cuddled up to you, finally quieting down for the day as he slipped deeper into sleep.

"If you insist." You replied, your hand finding its way into his hair before you, too, succumbed to the sweetness of your life on hold as you rested next to Keeho.

—

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: A Day In The Life

————————————————————————-

Summary: You do a mini TikTok vlog of a day in the life with your boys while pregnant. (Pregnancy announcement to the public!)

Warnings: Fluff

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

January 10, 2024

After posting some more pranks I've done on Joe, surprisingly, my following on TikTok has grown significantly.

Usually, posting Joe on my socials garnered negative attention, AKA hate. I did it because social media apps were meant to share your life, and Joe was a huge part of my life.

I never meant it in a braggadocios way, but that's what people seemed to take from my family photos and post-win pics with my husband.

That's why I was so surprised to see that everyone loved my Joe pranks.

The comments held a consensus that I’d never seen under a post of mine, they loved Joe and I’s dynamic.

I didn't need the public fan validation to make me feel secure in my relationship with Joe, but for once, they understood how special our relationship was, and some even apologized for past statements.

“They love us, Joe.” - you

“No, honey, they love you.” - Joe smiled

After those words were shared, Joe pointed out how all the comments were mostly praising me.

“take back everything I said abt her.”

“stop she matches joe’s energy so well…”

“the way he can’t stay mad at her, they’re so in love”

“actually such a cute couple”

“they compliment each other so well!”

“i see why joe married her! 🥹”

“i want y/n to be MY mom.”

“who gave y/n the right to be so adorable.”

“she’s so fun!”

“the way joe looks at her.. 😭”

“still jealous, but he loves her sm.”

“MY PARENTS.”

“i bet y/n’s the best mom and wife”

“Everyone’s switching sides now, but they never deserved hate. Joe wouldn't marry her if he didn't love her, and I'm glad that you guys can see that now. She makes him really happy!!”

“See? Some are even requesting more videos, baby. Do you see how many new followers you've gotten?” - Joe

“It's just because I posted content of you…” - you

“No, don't say that. It's because you showed your personality, and they love you. They see why I love you.” - Joe

“Do you really think so?” - you

“I know so. Everyone thinks your pranks are hilarious, you're funny, and you handle me super well.” - Joe

“I do handle you super well.” - you laughed

“The best.” - Joe winked

——

That was two days ago, right after we put the twins to sleep and right before we went to bed ourselves.

Currently being nine in the morning, I just woke up.

It was off-season now, but that still meant early mornings.

This morning was a little different, though, because I was making a ‘day in the life’ TikTok.

Since my pranks had become a hit, I've gotten quite a few video ideas from fans in the comments. Most wanted to see more of our everyday lives and wanted to know what it was like as an NFL wife and mother.

So, I decided to do a short video to show what our family day routine was like on an average off-season day.

The thing is… Joe didn't know it was happening.

Joe loved that I was finally being seen the way he saw me but was still weary of what I was posting.

He wasn't a huge fan of social media, and being super public with our relationship and kids, he detested it.

I respected it, but sometimes Joe would ask to participate in a video unprompted.

Lately, that has become a bigger case, so I was hoping he wouldn't mind taking part in the mini-vlog.

Joe was still asleep when I got out of bed, so I discreetly walked into the bathroom after grabbing my phone.

I wouldn't be talking in the video, just showcasing the sounds of the background and whatever I was doing, while the text that I would put over it later would describe what was going on.

After making little clips of me brushing my teeth, washing my face, and brushing my hair out, I walked back into the bedroom.

Next, I recorded a little snippet of me picking out my outfit - leggings and one of Joe’s hoodies - before turning my phone off to get changed.

Now that I was ready, I headed downstairs to start breakfast.

I pulled ingredients out of the fridge for Joe’s smoothie, omelets for me and me, and some of the ingredients for the boy's pancakes.

Just as I was starting the blender, a sleepy-looking Joe with raging bedhead shuffled into the kitchen.

“G’morning.” - you grinned

Thankfully, he put on sweatpants and a T-shirt, and I was glad of that because he'd complain about being shirtless on camera.

“Hi.” - Joe mumbled

“You good, buddy?” - you laughed

“Mhm. I just don't like waking up to see that you're not next to me.” - Joe

“Awe, I'm sorry. C’mere.” - you

I opened my arms to Joe, and he immediately was in my embrace. My arms were around his waist as I squeezed him, and his head lay on my shoulder.

When he pulled away from me, Joe’s eyes landed on the recording camera and immediately went wide-eyed.

“Why are you recording?” - Joe

“I'm making a ‘day in the life' video. I won't put anything in it that you aren't comfortable with, like what just happened.” - you

“Oh… ok. Yeah, don't put that in, though, because I sound like a baby.” - Joe

His grimace made me laugh because I thought our interaction was cute. Then again, I loved Joe’s needy, soft side. It was purely adorable.

“My baby.” - you grinned

“Stop…” - Joe

Joe was trying to hide his smile as his cheeks turned pink, and I couldn't help but giggle. I loved knowing I could make him blush, even after all the years we've been together.

“Do you need help recording anything?” - Joe

“Not at the moment, but if I do, I'll ask you.” - you

“Okay. Want me to make the pancakes?” - Joe

“Sure! Can I get a clip of you flipping them?” - you

“Of course.” - Joe smiled

Shortly after that, Joe got started on the pancakes, and I recorded a little video to get audio of the sizzling from the hot pan.

When I got a short clip of Joe flipping a mini pancake, I didn't put his face in it, but you could very clearly see it was him. His easily recognized bracelets and hands gave that away, along with the laugh the speaker picked up when he executed the flip perfectly.

“I should be a pro cook.” - Joe

“We both know that shouldn't happen.” - you

Joe busted out laughing and told me to put that in the mini-vlog.

“Will do.” - you giggled

——

Later in the day, I had gotten most of the wanted content filmed, including waking the boys up, breakfast, and playing/cleaning around the house.

Now, Joe, Me, and the boys were on our way to the reason for the entire video.

AKA the ultrasound that I'm having today.

It was a hard launch of my pregnancy, but Joe and I thought we'd include it in the video since my maternity photoshoot wasn't for a couple more weeks. The reason we were announcing it before the shoot was because it was getting hard to hide my growing bump. We’d much rather announce it ourselves than someone screenshot a picture of me in the background with a round belly.

When we got sent back to the ultrasound room, Joe sat in the chair next to where I was. Tyson was in Joe’s lap while Miles sat in the chair next to them.

“You ready to see sissy?” - Joe

Tyson and Miles both nodded, causing Joe and I to both smile.

Soon the ultrasound tech walked into the room and before I knew it, the familiar feeling of cold gel on my stomach made me hiss.

“Okay, Mama?” - Joe

“Gel’s just cold. I'm fine.” - you smiled

Joe made sure to get a good video of you watching the monitor, and he felt tears pricking in his eyes at the sight of his baby girl.

He would never get tired of being called, girl dad, Joe wore it like a proud Boy Scout who had just received a new badge.

“Baby Girl is doing great, measuring how she should be, and is very healthy.” - Tech

“Good.” - you and Joe in sync

After a few more minutes, she wiped off my bump, and I was set to go.

Joe helped me off of the chair and pulled the hoodie back over my stomach.

“I love you.” - Joe grinned

“I love you too.” - you

——

I spent the first thirty minutes back home editing together the clips I already had, getting approval from Joe for each one.

It surprised me how much feedback and “Oh, this would be cool!” Joe was giving me. He liked this more than I thought he would.

We ate dinner just shortly after that, and the rest of the afternoon was slow, as it usually was.

Tyson and Miles went to bed earlier than usual, so Joe and I spent the majority of the evening watching space documentaries that Joe had been wanting to watch.

The last video of the day routine vlog was of the TV in front of us, Joe’s hand on my bump in view, as well as our legs tangled together.

I never truly appreciated the little things in my everyday life till they were pointed out in a video, like how Tyson always looks at Joe for approval before doing something or how Miles's eyes crinkle up when he smiles, just like his daddy’s.

Watching back at the completed TikTok while tucked into my handsome husband’s side as he rubbed over my baby bump and drew little shapes on it with his thumb had me thinking something I seem to always find my mind drifting off to. Oh, boy, was I one lucky girl.

————————————————————————-

Authors note: cutie family fluff for Sunday

Request for this fic; thank you anon! 🫶

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[apute11as]

Everything happens for a reason part 2 - Alexia putellas x pregnant!reader

Author note: Hey as requested this is part 2 to my alexia x reader pregnancy fic! Sorry if it’s not great but I’ve got ideas for further chapters that I’ll work on soon! Also please send ficlet requests if you’d like more consistent posts as they take significantly less time :)

Warnings⚠️: mentions of vomit, tiny bit of suggestive content, angst

Part 1- https://www.tumblr.com/apute11as/733631966220582912/everything-happens-for-a-reason-alexia-putellas

~~~~~~

As you strolled through security, your mind flickered back to the conversation you’d had with the mother in the plane. Unease overtook your body as you couldn’t help but wonder if she were right, but she couldn’t be, surely? Yes you and Alexia had been trying but you’d taken a test after the last round of IVF and that test read a strong negative.

Casting the thoughts out of your mind, you decided to shift your focus to the important upcoming tournament. Getting though baggage control was yet again, a thankfully unproblematic task and you’d found your driver with minimal effort. These were further signs that you’d simply been overthinking the spontaneous sickness from this morning which was mostly likely due to fatigue or anxiety.

Having had help from your driver with hauling your luggage into the back of the black car, you finally sat down in the back of vehicle and allowed yourself a breath of relief as the most difficult part of your journey had been achieved. This moment of peace finally allowed you to check your phone, where of course you were met with a text from Alexia that read:

“I hope you had a safe flight bebita, I left you a suprise in the top pocket of your bag, te quiero mucho amor ❤️xx”

Smiling down at your phone, you clicked her icon to reply with a simple

“just got in the cab, can’t wait to see it te quiero más bebé xx”

The journey from the airport to St George’s Park was relatively short and you’d surprisingly managed to occupy yourself well enough that not once did your mind shift to your impending potential pregnancy. Upon arrival, you thanked your driver, giving him a generous tip for his good service and further help in hauling your heavy bags from out of the car. Thinking, you had another moment of peace, you reached down to look at a message which was a short lived attempt as you felt yourself being almost plowed down by a body being thrown at you.

“HOLA CHICA” bellowed none other than Mary Earps, the English goalkeeper wrapping you into a tight hug.

“Hiya Mary” you sighed after getting over the initial shock of her entrance, recovering from the near dropping of your phone onto the concrete floor below.

“How’ve you been, we’ve missed you at home, how’s Spain treating you?” she exclaimed, bombarding you with questions.

“Let the girl breathe Mary” rung the voice of Millie bright, the defender taking a much more gentle approach to you welcome.

“hey Mill, I’ve missed you all so much it feels like ages since I’ve seen you all” you replied.

“Clearly you’ve found some superior company though” stated Leah Williamson who now entered the scene, greeting you with a hug.

“What are you talking about?” you questioned, confused.

“well if the marks on your neck are anything to go by then I’m sure you’ve been just fine with Putellas” Leah jeered teasingly.

“oh shit I totally forgot, it’s been such a hectic morning I didn’t even realise” you stuttered although thinking back, your wife would surely have noticed your failure to cover up the less than subtle marks that littered your neck. Although, knowing Alexia she would have watched you walk out with pride, knowing that everyone would know you were hers just by taking one look at you. Typical la Reina.

“don’t get all stressed now, some of us a just single and miserable” the Chelsea defender gestured to Leah.

“haha very funny bright” retorted the younger blonde, and with that the pair of defenders wandered off inside.

“you said this morning has been hectic but I thought travel was smooth?” questioned Mary with a furrowed brow.

“Yeah yeah travel was perfect, it’s just other things.” you said with your expression visibly faltered.

“If your ever need to talk babes I’m here, it’s nothing to do with Putellas is it? Because i swear if that woman hurt you…”

“No no” you insisted, cutting her off. “Alexia has been perfect, just got a lot on my mind right now.” You assured the older woman.

“Alright hun, just don’t hesitate to reach out” she said with a smile.

“Thanks Mary I appreciate that so much” you replied.

After a further wave of reintroductions and also a couple of greetings towards the new players, you found yourself in a room with Sarina, the team and the assistant coaches.

“Right as usual of course, your rooms are to be assigned” stated the coach

“Leah and Keira”

“Georgia and Ella”

the list went on in a typical fashion.

and “Y/N and Alessia”

You let a small smile slip at the revelation, knowing that the blonde forward was easy to talk to and respected your quiet time, something you felt as though you needed more than ever, given your current stresses.

You were presented with a key card each and then made your way upstairs, having to haul your several bags into the elevator, a task that left you unusually out of breath. A fact that didn’t go unnoticed by Alessia as you hunched over, clutching your stomach.

“Are you ok Y/N?” the younger girl questioned.

“yeah thanks, I’m ok. I think it’s just a little discomfort from travel.” you replied with a weak expression.

Finally, the two of you reached the comfort of your shared room and unlocked the door swiftly. You offered Alessia the window bed as you knew that she much preferred it and felt slightly claustrophobic otherwise.

You both began unpacking your vast array of bags and unloading stuff into the wardrobes, when your mind shifted back to the text your wife had sent you earlier. You reached for your carry on bag and unzipped the pocket, to be met with the sight of your favourite Spanish chocolates with a small note that read:

“Para mi princesa. Un regalo casi tan dulce como tú. Te amo mucho mi corazon.”

You smiled softly, your wife had always expressed her love so beautifully through words, the terms of endearment making you tear up slightly.

“What’s that?” Alessia asked with curiosity.

“Just something Alexia got me to remind me of her.” you replied, wiping your eyes simultaneously. “They’re spanish chocolates” you continue “she knows they’re my favourite from our local chocolatería.”

“that’s so sweet” the younger girl replied with a smile.

“Yes it really is” you said, beginning to open the sweet treats but before you got a chance to offer some to Alessia, the smell hit your nostrils. Normally that would elicit a mouth watering response but this time you felt your stomach lurch in discomfort, similarly to the way it did this morning. You the found yourself bounding to the bathroom to throw up the small sandwich you’d eaten on your flight.

“Oh my god Y/N” exclaimed Alessia, worry evident in her tone. “I knew you looked pale earlier, you are sick!” she said holding your hair back and grimacing as another round of nausea had you further emptying the contents of your stomach into the toilet bowel.

“Sorry Alessia you don’t have to stay for this.” you managed in between the dry heaving that had replaced your sickness.

“No god I don’t mind, should I go get a staff member though?” She questioned.

“No, no definitely not I think I know what it is it’s fine.” You assured her.

Though Alessia wasn’t convinced and made a mental note to ask you again after team bonding, which you insisted you were well enough to attend.

“I thought you said those were your favourite chocolates, why did they make you feel sick?” The blonde questioned curiously.

“I’m not sure maybe they’d gone off” you offered weakly.

The two of you finally made it downstairs to the team, albeit 10 minutes late as you changed and freshened up after your spell of sickness.

“Look what the cat dragged in” shouted Beth as she attempted to rugby tackle you to the floor but before she was successful, she was stopped forcefully by Alessia.

“Careful Beth she’s not feeling great” explained Alessia.

“It’s alright Less, I’m alright now” you assured the girl.

“Anyways now that you two have finally arrived, we can start the fifa play offs!” cheered Georgia

As the night progressed, your stomach settled but your anxiety levels only heightened as the reality of your situation truly began to settle in. You were shocked out of your thoughts by a soft hand on your shoulder, that belonged to your captain- Leah.

“Woah there jumpy” she said as you flinched at her touch. “I was just checking if you wanted a hot chocolate but is everything all right?” she questioned.

That did it, the tears that had been threatening to flow came free now. You ran off hurriedly to the bathroom, Leah watching in awe as to what had actually just happened.

“It’s alright I’ve got her.” Alessia assured a couple of the team members who had gathered at the commotion.

You were now balling your eyes out in the bathroom, as the thoughts of what the pregnancy would mean dawned upon you. Ordinarily when you’d planned the pregnancy, you wouldn’t be attending the World Cup, opting to sacrifice it for your wife who’d just come back from an injury and was 4 years older than you anyways. However, now here you were, ready to go to the tournament and were potentially pregnant. You heard the door swing open and were soon met with the concerned face of your roommate, knowing you now definitely had to share your concerns with her.

“What’s up Y/N, no “I’m fine” or any nonsense, you’re struggling with something let me help you.” said the blonde, sympathetically.

“I-I think I’m pregnant” you said for the first time out loud since you began questioning.

“That’s good surely? Wait you’d have to do ivf for that, unless it’s not Alexia’s baby oh my god, oh my god is it somebody else’s, that’d explain the tears…”

“No Alessia” you urged, cutting off her rambling. “It would be Alexia’s it’s just not quite gone to plan” you continued as Alessia stared at you with a confused face.

You the preceded to explain your conversation with the woman on the plane, the negative pregnancy test from earlier this month and yours and Alexia’s plans to start a family. Alessia listening intently and comforting you as you spoke.

“Maybe the best idea would be to get a test” Alessia stated “because for all you know you’re getting stressed over nothing.” She reasoned.

“Yeah yeah that’s true, I just didn’t have much time to get one between the airport.

“We can get one tomorrow at lunch, it’s late now anyways maybe you should call alexia and tell her what’s going on?”

“No no no I can’t call Alexia she can’t know” you urged.

“why not she might be able to help you see clearly” said Alessia

“No she’ll be on a flight over here to make sure I don’t play, I really want to play Alessia” you pleaded

“Ok then let’s tell the girls you don’t feel well so we’re going to bed early how’s that?” Asked the blonde

“Yeah that sounds good thank you Less it means so much that you care.” you thanked her

“Of course Y/N anytime” she smiled.

[onlyangel4]

espresso (the aftermath). la knight. smau.

la knight x singer!reader

the meeting

synopsis: a favour for a friend turns into so much more

warnings: cursing.

faceclaim: dua lipa

y/ninsta posted a story

written: someone just sent me this from rehearsals why do i look like i'm gonna kill someone

reallaknight replied to your story: the prettiest death stare

y/ninsta: simp

reallaknight: is it lame if i admit i had to google what that meant

y/ninsta: showing your age gramps

y/ninsta

liked by rhearipleywwe, shawnmendes, thereallaknight and 1,302,123 others

y/ninsta: tour starts tonight, where will i be seeing you?

view all 102,485 comments

rhearipleywwe: i can't wait to see this tour

y/ninsta: i can't wait to see you

shawnmendes: i'll be at every show

y/ninsta: that is how being an opening act works

user1: i always forget that y/n is in the wwe world like why the hell is la knight in the likes

user2: this is going to be my first concert ever i can not wait

user3: the red hair is so hot

user4 posted a story tagging thereallaknight

written: guys my girlfriend is dragging me to the y/n concert tonight so i thought i'd hit the gym before the show tell me why la knight was there. dude's a legend

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

the first day of tour was always a stressful one, you had done a full dress rehearsal with all the dancers and pyro and you were already knackered. it was two hours before you had to go back out on the stage and the arena was already filling up with people ready to watch you perform.

you were currently in your dressing room lounging on the couch, recuperating some energy ready for the full show. when you heard the door open, sure it was your tour manager you didn't look up from your phone, "how long until i have to get my make up done?", you asked.

"i have no fucking idea", a familiar masculine voice spoke making your eyes instantly flick up from your phone and go towards the door. "oh my god", you spoke jumping up from your feet as shaun opened his arms for you instantly pulling you into a hug.

"surprise", he mused

"what are you doing here?"

"i could not miss the first show of your tour y/n", he spoke as he leant down to press a soft, loving kiss to your lips. one that you reciprocated instantly just melting against his lips. you slowly pulled away from him, "this is the best surprise ever"

you and shaun were not officially dating but you might as well have been. you facetimed for at least an hour every day and text whenever you couldn't call. in the past few months shaun had clouded your mind constantly. you were forever thinking about the man and he had even inspired a new song that you had written.

remembering the song you let out a small laugh, "what's so funny?", he questioned eyebrow quirking upwards.

you shook your head, "i kind of wrote a song about you and it is in the live set"

"you wrote a song about me?"

"i did, i can take it out of the set if you are more comfortable with that"

"no, i'm curious now i want to hear it", he spoke, "i can't believe my girl wrote a song about me"

"your girl?"

"oh yes y/n, you are my girl. you are it for me", he spoke before kissing you again and truly taking your breath away. because what he didn't know was that he was it for you as well.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

y/nfan

liked by user5, user6, user7 and 14,293 others

y/nfan: guys i just got back from the first night of tour and omg. we got three stunning outfits and a brand new song.

y/n introduced the new song espresso in the best way possible: "guys i have a confession for all of you. i wrote this song the day after i met a man. i had never felt this way about anyone before and when my friends asked me about it i could barely talk about it so instead i wrote this song. i hope you love it, this is espresso"

so it is safe to assume that mother has a man and we are so happy for her.

view all 2,394 comments

user5: the song is so fucking good

user6: i wonder what kind of man has a chokehold on y/n like this

user7: i think that guy was at the concert because she kept on looking at the vip section when she was singing this song.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

wwe posted a story tagging y/ninsta

written: y/n y/ln has graced us with her presence in the midst of her sold out us tour

thereallaknight posted a story

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

y/ninsta

liked by rhearipleywwe, thereallaknight, shawnmendes and 1,596,203 others

tagged: thereallaknight

y/ninsta: thank you guys for the best tour of my career. i thought i would give you guys a parting gift in the form of my new song espresso which is out at midnight. it is only fair to intoroduce you to the man that this song is written about. everyone meet shaun, the man that has kept me going on some of the toughest days.

view all 198,928 comments

thereallaknight: i love you but was that third picture really needed

y/ninsta: it really shows your personality

rhearipleywwe: so happy for you my love

y/ninsta: thank you love

user8: this is actually nuts

user9: my worlds have collided

[mistermalaprop]

finished au crosshairs art & talking about the stranded au

continuing from this post! want to start reading? here!

w/ the text and then-

no text! finally, he's all colored and pretty!

anyway, i know this idea is a bit niche and weird but i’ll talk about it here:

the fuck is this idea, mal!?

you don’t have to shout :(

but in summary: the stranded crosshairs au takes place after an alternate timeline in age of extinction (2014) where lockdown + cemetery wind was successful in nerfing almost all decepticons and autobots on earth. lockdown does not get defeated and humans are still assholes, yippie! crosshairs, being crosshairs, nopes the fuck out when optimus prime gets captured and executed— and drift comes with, because literally everyone else is dead… including the yeagers :( i’m sorry, but the government would kill them all.

the two are on the run in space for a couple months or years, but they get inevitably captured by lockdown and— oop! that’s all i’ll say about that.

this incident ends up with crosshairs’ spark being transported via a tear in the well of allsparks and he wakes up in the rid 2015 universe!

ohh okay okay.. but what about crosshairs himself?

crosshairs, in the live action movies, is a fucking jerkwad arse lmao and i know it. due to story reasons, his behavior is mellowed out and he’s not as obnoxious (we still need rid15 sideswipe to be that #1 nuisance) or violent. he hung out with drift for years alone in the middle of space, he picked up a few things!

well, not as violent towards other bots i mean. after cemetery wind back in his own world, he is distrusting of humans to a lethal degree (rip danny and russell) and hates being touched. i wont get into too many specifics, but just know he’s a tired, blunt bastard that just wants to sleep all day (it’s the depression and chronic attachment issues).

he starts off alone in the story but gets picked up into the bee team (against his will).

other info!

i’m happy to answer any questions about anything in this au (characters, relationships, story, etc) via the ask box. i like answering questions <3 other comments and concerns are also not minded :)

also! design wise— because i love designing things and talking about design choices— below is how i’d imagine the parachutes to work. i wanted to keep the paratrooper aspect of his original character since i liked how unique it was!

i hope it makes sense, because it was funny to draw.

i had fun drawing that, it’s silly.

and that’s all i got for now! here is my current poster for this au— in color and black/white! since i’m planning on it being a little comic thing with some writing (maybe).

[wzrd-wheezes]

Carolling - James Potter x Reader

AN- so I had this idea at the start of december based on that tiktok trend that was going around but i kinda ran out of time to write it. I hope its not too late to post this! I was also thinking about doing a remus and sirius version but idk. Anyways! I hope you all had a lovely festive period <3

It was a silly idea, really. One that had come up many times on her phone as she scrolled mindlessly on her commute to work. James was usually the one behind the pranks but today she decided it was her turn. 

Her fingers tapped across the keys of her phone as she typed out the message to her boyfriend.  

“Are you free on the 20th Dec?” 

His response was almost immediate, albeit him being at work. 

“Think so lovey. Why?” 

She smiled to herself mischievously, already anticipating his outraged reaction when he read her next message.  

“I’ve signed us up for Christmas carolling x” 

Once again, James’s response was immediate. 

“What???” 

“Christmas carolling around the village. We’re in a group with 4 or 5 other people. Think we get our songbooks delivered tomorrow. Anyway, got to go – super busy at work. Love you!” 

She finished the message off quickly, revelling in the fact that James was likely stewing in confusion. Her phone pinged again. And again. She ignored it, knowing that in an hour or so her boyfriend would be bursting through the door with a million questions. 

James’s reaction had caught her off guard when he’d stumbled through the door an hour later than usual. 

“Sorry I’m back late, babe. Had to nip to the shop on the way home to pick up some essentials for our big night out!” He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth as he bustled into the kitchen, a large shopping bag in each hand. 

“Our big night out?” She repeated, quirking an eyebrow at him. 

“Yeah? The Christmas carolling? Did you not see my texts?” he started to rifle through the bags, “Mind you, you did say that you were busy at work so you might not have seen them. Not to worry though!” 

Y/N slipped her hand into her pocket and fished out her phone, quickly glancing at his messages.  

“Sounds amazing! Shame we don’t have our matching Christmas jumpers anymore :( “  

Below that, another one:  

“omg I'll go to the shop on my way home and get us new ones. Any preference on design?”  

And then a few minutes later, another one: 

“And matching hats too? Or is that too far...?” 

“Oh. Sorry, yeah I didn’t see them-”  

“Don't worry! Look at the jumpers I got us!” He pulled two brightly knit jumpers from one of the bags and chucked one towards her, “I didn’t know whether to just go with a Santa. You know, classic! But then I saw these-” 

“James, I-” She tried to interject. 

“Penguins!” he continued undeterred, “Look at them, babe! I just couldn’t resist!”  

“James, one second-” 

“I’m nearly done,” he chattered excitedly, “And then, you know how you said we were doing it in groups? Well, I bought a pack of six Santa hats so we can all match and then I thought, ‘what if we get cold?’ so I bought some disposable cups for everyone so we can make them all a hot chocolate. Oh! And i got some candy canes-” 

“James. I was joking.”  

For the first time in the twenty minutes he had been home, her boyfriend had stopped talking. He sat the pack of candy canes he had been showing her down on the counter, his brows furrowing a little. 

“Joking about what, love?” He cocked his head at her. 

“We’re not going carol singing. It was a joke. This trend has been going around online where girls tell their boyfriends that they’ve signed them up and the boyfriends always get confused and don’t want to go-” 

“Why would they not want to go? Sounds like a great activity to me...?”  

“Yes, because you’re lovely and now I feel bad.” She starred down at the floor, trying her best to avoid her boyfriend's eyes, “I didn’t think you would be up for it and I thought I'd just string you along for a bit and it would be funny and now you’ve made so much effort.” 

“Oh. Well, obviously I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t actually sign us up but we can still do it, can’t we?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Like, we can just go carolling round at our friends houses. Seems a shame not to show off our new jumpers. Did you see that they have penguins on?” 

Y/N just smiled to herself, looking at her sweet boyfriend who was flitting about the kitchen as excited as a child on Christmas eve.  

[eepwriting]

Hi! Could I request a III X reader where they’re traveling with the band on a plane but III comforts reader who is afraid of flying?

Seat Buddy ✶ III x GN! Reader

Warnings: honestly none, just sweet iii. unless you’re super afraid of flying, then some bits might be uncomfortable to read.

Thank you so much for your request!! Such a cute idea 🤍

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚

You had joined the Sleep Token team at the beginning of the year. You were brought on as assistant and were ecstatic to tour with them. Finally getting to do what you love, traveling with a band you liked also being a huge plus.

In your excitement, you had somehow forgotten the most crucial part of touring. Traveling. When you thought about touring musicians, a big, roomy tour bus always popped into your mind. So when flight details were sent to your phone by the tour manager, you suddenly were okay with staying behind.

Alas, here you are, standing in line to board a plane. You somehow managed to keep your cool through TSA and the hour and a half chunk of time waiting to board. You had the band and the rest of the team to keep you company, take your mind off things, but as you stepped closer to the door of the plane, you felt very alone in your fear.

You hadn’t told anyone you were traveling with about this fear you had. You were determined on getting over it. Or at least, only having a slight freak out.

“What seat you got?”

You spin around to see iii standing behind you. His ticket held up between two fingers. He leans over you slightly, looking down at your ticket.

“Oh, uh, 10e.” You smile up at him, waving the piece of paper.

You hear him pull air through his teeth in a hiss. “Ohh, it looks like you’re stuck with me. Sorry about that. 10d.”

You laugh, moving up in the line. “Should be an interesting flight then.” You try to keep your voice steady as you get closer to the door.

III had always been kind to you, saying hi every time he passed you, always including you in conversations, had even recently started texting you posts he found funny. Although you hadn’t known him very long, you were glad to have a friend in close range.

You move up a final time, the energetic flight attendant at the door giving you a warm smile, welcoming you aboard.

You walk down the aisle, eyes scanning the numbers above the seats until you find row 10. A lone woman occupies the window seat and you give her a polite smile as you sit down next to her. You push your small backpack under the seat in front of you as iii stops in the aisle.

He puts his bag in the overhead compartment before taking his seat next you. You think he smiles over at you with the way his eyes crinkle.

You fasten your seatbelt after getting as comfortable as you can, pulling the strap tight. You want to reach for the safety manual that’s tucked into the seat pocket in front of you but you don’t want to freak yourself out even more than you already are. You clasp your hands in your lap and close your eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Hey, you okay?” III’s thigh bumps your knee. You turn to look at him. He’s slouching forward slightly to get a good look at your face. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

You try to smile at him. “I’m just a little afraid of flying, that’s all.” You clear your throat.

“Oh. I get it. First time?” He turns in his seat to fully look at you. You nod at him, your hands clenching and unclenching in your lap. “Well, the first time is always the scariest. I used to be scared to fly actually.” He leans in a little closer as he says this, as if it’s a secret.

“Really? And you got over it?”

“Eventually, yeah.” He nods. “Comes with the territory of the job so I kinda had to.” He shrugs his shoulders slightly.

“So, you’re just not scared to fly anymore?” You shake your head in question.

“Nope. Only thing I’m scared of is how much leg room I’ll have. I swear it gets less and less every time.” You both look down to his knees that are uncomfortably pushed up against the seat in front of him.

You laugh at his joke, feeling a small sliver of your anxiety slip away. III’s relaxed and playful nature calming your nerves.

Your head snaps up when you hear the pilot come over the intercom, greeting the passengers, telling you where you’re going, and laying out a general time frame of your flight. He introduces the flight attendant who greeted you at the door, letting her take over to demonstrate safety precautions.

III lets you lean over his lap to look down the aisle. You want to see everything she’s demonstrating, writing a mental note of all the exits. A somewhat foolproof plan of escape lingers in the back of your mind.

You check your seatbelt for the 10th time when the pilot announces that the plane would be making it’s way down the tarmac towards the runway.

III notices your uneasiness and leans over to you again. “I like to think about it like this.” His voice is quiet and calm. “What kind of stories do you hear about plane rides?” He tilts his head, eyes scanning your face.

You think for a moment before answering. “The bad, horribly terrifying ones.”

He laughs. “That’s right. You don’t hear about the thousands of successful flights that take off and land every single day. Anyone would be scared of flying if they only ever heard the bad stories.”

That is true, and it’s coming from someone who truly understands your fear. You smile at him, replaying his words in your head to calm yourself down.

The plane rolls its way to the runway, you and iii making small talk the whole time. The plane comes to a stop and it feels like an hour of waiting before the pilot announces takeoff.

You shut your eyes again, taking deep breaths when the tires start moving again, picking up speed. “You can hold my hand if that’ll help.” III’s voice is quiet next you, his shoulder leaning into yours. You quickly nod and hold your hand out, which he gladly accepts, letting you drag it to your lap. You squeeze his hand hard when the front tires lift off the ground and he squeezes back when the plane is fully off the ground.

You only open your eyes when you hear the pilot come over again, announcing an ETA and thanking everyone for flying with the airline. You look over at iii to see him watching you. “Wasn’t so bad, right? It sounds scarier than it actually is.” His hand squeezes yours again.

You nod and smile at him. You’re actually in a plane, in the air, still alive. “I guess not, no.”

You quickly learn that actual air time isn’t the part you’re scared of, just the takeoff and landing. Luckily, you don’t experience any turbulence, so you’ll have to fight that battle another day.

You find yourself able to actually relax most of the flight. III definitely helps, always keeping conversation flowing, cracking jokes, working quickly to distract you if he notices your anxiety creeping back in. He lets you grab his forearm or bicep at any sound or movement that’s even slightly out of the ordinary. Never laughing at you or making jokes at your expense.

He orders you drinks and snacks if you want them, lends you an earbud, showing you some of his favorite songs at the moment. Flips through the provided magazines with you, pointing out articles he might find interesting or tapping on pictures of travel destinations he’d like to visit someday.

You’re almost surprised when you hear the ding of the seatbelt sign and pilot announce that you’d be landing in 15 minutes or so. Time having flew by, no pun intended.

You make sure all your belongings are in order, excited to be on the ground again. This experience was not nearly as terrifying as you thought it would be, but you still had lading to get through before you could feel totally relieved.

“I’m glad you’re the one I got to sit next to, you know.” You smile at iii, bumping his leg with your knee.

“Oh wow, I’m so flattered.” He brings his hand up to his chest, his eyelashes fluttering dramatically.

You giggle and lightly swat his shoulder. “I’m serious! You were very helpful and kind today.”

He sheepishly shrugs, looking away from you, but offers you his hand. You gladly take it, holding it in your lap again. Squeezing hard when the plane jostles, front tires hitting the ground. He squeezes back when the plane comes to slow roll.

“I don’t mind being your seat buddy from now on.” He squeezes your hand twice, a smile reaching his eyes.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚

This was cuteeee and fun to write. Thank you again for the request! 🤍

As always, if you like to see anything please let me know!

K. Bye bye.

[httpsserene]

ꜱɪɴɢɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜᴏᴡᴇʀ w/ ʟɴ4

📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: lando’s usually well spent sunday off with his girlfriend is different this time around. you put off your everything shower and wash-day causing some edits to the usual routine. how the night ends, however, is 100% lando’s fault. 📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: fluff/borderline?crack(if u think im funny). one or two mentions of sex, not explicit at all. not edited to beta-read. 📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2k words 📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: lando norris x black!fem!reader 📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: oneshot 📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: singing in the shower ~ becky g

ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ: preface: hello! it’s late night or early morning for me, i guess, when i’m posting this. i was going to say this is my first rpf ever, but that’s a bold-faced lie ☠️but! it is my first f1 work! i hope you enjoy it! i’d love to have some f1 mutuals out here, if anyone wants <3. also requests are open, just come talk to me and ramble about anything, or any idea you have the f1 boys, i’d love to have some great anons and asks to fulfill. hope you enjoy it :)

it’s a rare sunday where you and lando are both home together. usually you two would take advantage of this and make the most out of it. you’d lay in bed late into the morning with an excessively cuddly boyfriend, cook a nice and healthy brunch together you cook, lando handles the soundtrack and vibes because he loses all coordination in the kitchen, play a co-op video game that you guys have been working your way through for a month, go out on a nice little dinner date, and have great sex before knocking out.

HOWEVER, this week you have kinda forgotten that you need to do your hair. originally you had an appointment that tuesday to get a silk press done with your usual hairstylist, but she canceled on you. once you got that “hey girly...” text you’d known there was no hope of rescheduling, for that week at least. so, you decided to do your own hair sometime later in the week, but your boyfriend was home for the first time after a triple-header, and was a terrible lovely distraction. you also had to work, unfortunately, you had to clean the flat, you had to eat, and you had to breathe—so understandably, you’ve ended up pushing your wash-day/hair-day and everything-shower to the last minute.

you apologized several times to lando during breakfast for your forgetfulness and wasting valuable “boyfriend-girlfriend time” as lando coined. but lando is lando—a sweetheart at his core—so he refused to accept your apologies with an “don’t apologize for something so minor, love,” and even offered to help you tackle the fight you end up almost losing every time…. vs. your hair. 

you kindly denied his assistance knowing damn well that if he was in the shower with you, your hair wouldn’t be done until late that night due to a different type of lando-distraction. you suggested that lando streamed while you were doing your shower and hair, and that you could still go out for dinner that evening. lando was pretty receptive to the idea, especially after he made sure that you were 100% okay with him not helping you do your hair (he usually does, you’ve got him trained pretty good; all he needs is the license at this point), and the fact that it’s been like 3 months since he last streamed.

lando posts that he’s streaming starting at noon, and after a brief make out against the sink post-dishwashing that leaves your lips swollen and head foggy, he goes to take a shower and start setting up his stream equipment. cursing lando’s smug-ass face as he walks away, you let him know that you're stepping out to the beauty supply store to get a few items before you start your little routine and that you might not see him before his stream starts. he does a 180, and rushes back to you from down the hallway to give you one more mind boggling kiss and with a smile says, “text me when you get there and when you’re back. i’ll have my phone on dnd but your messages are set to pass through it, so if you don’t want to be seen on stream today you don’t have to worry about it.” internally, you’re pretty sure your heart just imploded at the mindfulness this boy has—that your boyfriend has. somehow, it still surprises you how mature lando is for how silly he acts most of the time.

“you’re too sweet to me, lan.” you respond with a shy smile, “i probably won’t interrupt you today—i’ll let your delulu fans have custody, and deal with you!” lando throws his head back and does his usual demonic laugh, “hey! my fans are not that delusional, but i am afraid that you’re losing the custody battle!” he kisses you on the cheek, and with that you separate until later that day.

or so you thought. you knew lando’s super sweet behavior was too sus without him being his usual gremlin-self at least once.

when you get back from the beauty supply store (which should’ve been a fifteen-minute trip at most, turned into a near hour after the usual shenanigans you find yourself involved in buying things you don’t need), lando’s already started his stream. you text him letting him know you’re about to hop into the shower, and start heading to en-suite bathroom.

when you open the door, the mirror is slightly covered with remaining steam from lando’s shower, and you can see his clothes hanging half-inside the hamper. which is an improvement from being left on the floor—choose your battles, ladies. but as you move further into the bathroom, setting down your everything-shower supplies, changing into your silk robe and bonnet—you pick up on a lingering scent that should not be present.

your ninety-four fucking dollar scalp revival shampoo.

you’ve had that shampoo since you were seventeen, using it only when extremely necessary. you didn’t even pay for it, it was something your mom bought you as a pretty thoughtful and useful gift after you complained about your scalp suddenly getting super sensitive. it lasted through your senior year of grade school, all of university, and goddamn-it, two boyfriends!!! you let out a bit of an hysterical giggle (seek mental help, babe) and walk to the shower to grab the jar. the problem is: you know there was only probably one more usage left.

turning the cap off, your worst fears are confirmed...it’s…empty. with an anguished cry, you fall to your knees on the tiled floor—it’s like your childhood pet died. you gently set the jar down on the floor, and stare dazedly at the ceiling. what makes it worse is: you know that lando probably didn’t even use it properly. he most likely didn’t even let it sit for the mandatory 15 minutes that all girls do as an excuse to waste more time in the shower, he prob- he probably rinsed it out right after he massaged it in; that thought right there almost had you crying. oh, and what makes it even worse-r , what was a one-use sized amount for you was like, three for lando, so if he used it sparingly, you would’ve at least gotten to cherish it for the last time.

and with that, you rise from the floor, like some sort of re-animated monster—and with a twitching eye, start stomping to lando’s stream room. before you barge in, you remember what you're wearing: a black silk robe, matching bonnet, glasses, and your cute orange shark slides (lando bought them for you, he has a matching pair). you do the mental math of caring about this being on the internet for the rest of your life, but eventually the opportunity of terrorizing lando wins out over whatever a digital footprint is.

the door swings open, and with your shout of, “lando norris!” the pinging of his chat becomes rapid. lando looks wide-eyed at the camera and whispers, “oh fuck.” he half spins in his chair to look at you in the doorway, and is met with a flying shark slide to the neck. “oW! what did i do??” he cries out.

“you used the last of my ONE-HUNDRED DOLLAR shampoo, YOU THIEVING GREMLIN!!!” the chat notifications start cutting each other off with how fast they’re being sent.

“i didn’t use your shampoo??” he says with a bewildered look, clutching the shark slide to his chest. you seethe, “the fucking WOODEN JAR, that you didn’t even have the AUDACITY throw away, and left in the shower?!”

lando pauses, and makes an ‘a-ha’ sort of face goes, “oh, i thought that was conditioner.” you scream again and this time you don’t miss your mark. the remaining shark slide bonks him right on the forehead. “oW, again?!”

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE GOOD REACTION TIME??!”

“yEAH?! WELL, i didn’t expect  MY GIRLFRIEND to ASSAULT ME with the shark slides that I bought HER!!”

“yEAH?! WELL, i didn’t expect MY BOYFRIEND to waste MY hair products!!”

lando cackles but surrenders, he reaches for you in the doorway and pulls you in between his legs with his hands gripping your hips. 

he pouts, “i’m sorry. i can buy you another batch, if you’d like. if you need it for your shower right now, i can pause the stream and run and go get for you, or get it delivered?” you sigh, looking at his wide blue eyes. you let him stew for a minute, trying to find it in you to remain mad. his thumbs start petting you gently while you think, and he leans his head forward to rest on your tummy.

you sigh again, hand coming up to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, and cave, “nah..don’t even worry about it. i don’t even need to use it today, i just wanted to remind you to keep your nosy-ass away from my hair products.” he nods against your abdomen, you start to pull away, and he does the same. you lean down and give him a brief peck on the cheek, and turn to exit the room. 

“oh!” you exclaim now in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob, “i love you, even though you steal all my shit.”

lando giggles, cheeks turning a light pink, “i love you, princess,” the simp dripping out of every pore in his body. you point at him, “this is actually a mutually beneficial situation! now, for date night you can take me to the store to buy hair products,” lando’s smile drops, “don’t worry we can get some for you too, curly boy!” lando doesn’t even try to fight it once he sees the borderline manic grin on your face, just begging him to test you one more time. he accepts his face, “yes, love. i can’t wait for tonight, princess.”

he turns back to his stream when the door closes all the way and shakes his head. he claps his hands once, ready to get back into it, but you burst in again,

“and when i get out of that damn shower in an hour—you’re sure as hell gonna help blow dry and flat iron this shit! it’s silk press season, lando norris, we cannot be caught slacking!” you slam the door shut, and leave.

lando just blinks at the camera, mouth slightly open like that one pikachu meme. he briefly reads the chat, trying to recover, and looks at all of the chatters pick on him like he just got called to the dean’s office. some messages start to roll in about him having to end the stream.

he waits to hear the bedroom door shut, and a few more seconds for the shower to start running before he pseudo-whispers into the mic, “don’t worry, chat! she may have said an hour, but we actually have more like three. it’s her ‘everything-shower’, no-way she’ll finish that quickly. she needs an hour just to sing and dance in there before she starts actually doing anything.”

he starts to open a lobby in cod, sending invites to a few of the boys online and his phone starts vibrating on the desk. the chat starts to go wild again, recognizing its the ringtone he set for your messages. his face drops again when he opens your text thread, “oh my god, chat. she heard me, i forgot she pulls up the stream for background noise. i’m screwed.”

yninstagram • 2hrs ago

liked by landonorris, ybfsinstagram, and 123,978 others

yninstagram hairstylist did his thing for silk press season 👅

tagged landonorris

view comments

landonorris can’t even see our faces but you can’t tell we’re both pretty

➥yninstagram pretty gyal takeover

➥user bro 😭 i can’t even call this sassy

➥user he’s just keeping it real with y’all

landonorris i’ll always take care of you like a princess

➥landonorris and one day very soon, forever treat you like a queen

➥ynistagram lan ☹️🥺

➥user proposal hint?!!!

➥user it’s a 4ever thing y’all wouldn’t understand 🥱

➥user i do 🙄 y/n comes home one day every two years and takes care of our eight children

➥user bitch—LMFAOOO

user not her gatekeeping the stylist 😤 not very girl’s girl of her

➥yninstagram he’s booked out for the foreseeable future sorry babe

➥user oh uh. that’s completely understandable. he doesn’t take walk in’s ? 😃

landonorris • 3hrs ago

liked by yninstagram, maxfewtrell, and 2,321,768 others

landonorris you attract what you fear? word, oh no a pretty gyal who lets me do her hair😱 oohhhhh how scaryyy

tagged yninstagram

view comments

yninstagram damn 🥵 she’s pretty fit

yninstagram heard her boyfriend’s finer

➥landonorris shouldn’t listen to gossip, her bf can’t match her beauty by far

➥user now THATS SOME RIZZ i didn’t know he had it in him

carlossainzjr y/nnita keep brainwashing him i’m getting good teasing material

➥ynistagram sí señor, el gusto es mio

➥carlossainzjr aye,lando her spanish is better than yours🤣

➥landonorris my tractor is better than yours, mmm yeah that’s what i thought

➥user DAMN LANDO CHILL

➥yninstagram he will be issuing a formal apology at the paddock next sunday señor sainz

➥user i just KNOW she got him at shark slide-point

© httpsserene 2023

[neighbourshouse]

Let's talk.

Tara Lewis x Y/N

Summary: A slip up of words ends up being pretty ok :)

Warnings: Fluff. Like two kisses and an implication of the nasty but that's it.

Authors note: Oh wow. Funny seeing you here. Yada yada, life gets busy, I don't post for a while, but here we are. So...

Anyway. I'm a HUGE Criminal Minds fan and have been rewatching as usual but DAMN. Aisha Tyler is fine shyt. I want her. No, I'm crazy. Been searching for good fanfics, and it's so lacklustre I actually made my own. Let me know what ya think, is this something I should continue if I remember to write and post?

This is so short, but just shut up and be happy you're fed something.

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She placed a soft kiss to your lips, slowly moving down your jaw to your neck. Warmth radiating from her body, you fell into a blissed lull. She can be so intoxicating you just-

“God, I love you.” 

It slipped out in a moan. 

So accidental but true to how you’ve been feeling. The two of you hadn’t discussed this stage of your relationship, but you knew your admiration for Tara had gone beyond just a “like.” 

You froze at your own words. Tara stopped her motions, looking up at you.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to- it just happened…ughhhh” You covered your face with your hands. 

Silence. Then Tara giggled. 

Glimpsing through the cracks of your fingers you could see her soft smile. 

“Baby. Maybe it’s time we have a chat.”

Heart thumping through your chest, you fear this is the end of something so good. Tara gently took your hands away from your face, revealing tear-brimmed eyes and rosy cheeks.

“Awwww bubs don’t cry. Please? Come on, let’s talk.”

Shifting from between your legs to sitting next to you, Tara held your hands in her own. She fiddled with your rings, gathering her thoughts before she spoke. 

“Y/n, I love you too… and way more than you know and I want that to change. I want you to know.”

Wiping your eyes you sit up to look at her better.

“I wish we talked about this sooner cause I think we both know how we feel is mutual-“

“How did you know that you loved me?” Your words came out in a whisper.

Tara blinked at the suddenness of your words, leaning against the headboard of the bed. 

“I was at work sitting at my desk, chatting with Emily…and you texted me. I guess my face says more than words sometimes and Emily asked if it was you.” A small smile began to form on her lips.

“I remember I nodded. And Emily said the funniest thing… ’The team’s noticed a difference in you. A good one….When can we meet her?’ Knowing they already loved you confirmed what I had felt for a while. I decided I wanted to love you forever.”

You crawled onto Tara’s lap, straddling her. Hands cupping her cheeks you placed the softest, feather-light kiss on her lips. 

“When did you get the first inkling you loved me though?”

“You with the questions hey-“ Tara giggled, making a smile spread across your face.

“It was our 5th date-“

“That was like a month into our relationship.”

“-I know, girl let me finish my story.”

You both laughed.

“We had just finished eating at that sushi place and you unbuttoned your pants.”

“That’s it? That’s when you got the first idea?” You couldn’t contain your laughter at how ridiculous that sounded.

“Well…I like a girl that can eat and you unbuttoning your pants was just the cherry on top.”

“Jeeeeeeezzzzz” you rolled your eyes.

“Ok, now how about you? When did you first realize you loved me?”

“Gosh, how cheesy are we? Um… I guess it was…I guess it was when you first introduced me to your team. You just glowed from happiness, and your pretty smile reached your ears.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That or- actually… when you first kissed me. Yeah. That was when I first realized I love you. You introducing me to the team was when I first realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”

A quiet fell over the room. All you could do was gaze at each other.

“You want to spend the rest of your life with me?” Tara’s voice broke the hush.

“I mean…yeah. I couldn’t imagine not being with you. I’m happiest with you. Every time you’re gone on a case, all I can think about is when you get back and how happy I’ll be. Also, we are always together and I basically live with you.”

Tara ran her hands gently up and down your thighs. You glanced at the clock on the bedside table: 11:30 p.m. As you said, you basically lived with Tara- but unfortunately, you still had to go home sometimes.

Your hands fell to hers, picking them up and kissing the back of each.  

“I guess I should get-“

“Y/n I want you to move in with me.” 

“Oh- ok…are you sure?”

“Yes, I’ve never been more sure. I want to share my space with you. And have you in my bed every night.” She smirked.

“Well how could I deny that…you did say you liked a girl who can eat.”

Tara playfully smacked the side of your arm and rolled her eyes.

“Oh hush you. I just mean…I want to have that normal everyday life with you. Where I make you coffee in the morning before work and collect mail with your name on it. All that domestic shit ya know, like JJ and Will or Matt and Kristy.”

You flopped down onto the bed next to Tara, lying on your side to look into her big, beautiful brown eyes.

“…make me coffee every morning, hey?”

“Yeah.” Gosh, she could make you fold so easily.

“We could be like those guys. But no kids.” you bit your lip, smirking at the thought of waking up to her every day.

“Yeah, no kids. You and I are aunties.”

“Exactly.”

“So?…” Tara eyed you.

“Well obviously yes! We just confessed our love to each other and you think I would say no to you proposing that I get to sleep in your-or should I say our- bed every night next to you? It’s gonna be like having a sleepover everydayyyyyyyy!!!”

Tara laughed at you and your excitement.

“Yeah, every day is a sleepover.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sleeping with a 20 year old?

tw: mentions of potential grooming, age gap relationships, nsft/nsfw, vague discussions of sex

So, me (38m) and my wife (39f) are in an open relationship. Basically, we’re both bisexual and not quite ready to limit our sex lives to one person yet. So, we decided to allow friends with benefits situations outside of our relationship. No romantic stuff, no dating, just sex.

In January, my wife went to stay at her best friend’s (28f) house and have some fun together. I don’t mind at all, I was kind of glad to have our apartment to myself for a week. Now, there’s this queer bar that me and my wife frequent and it’s a good mix of all age demographics and identities.

There’s this one trans guy, I’ll call him M, that most people in the local community know because he’s very attractive. He reminds me of a very short Eric Draven mixed with Eddie Vedder. (Oddly specific, I know) Like, he has long-ish curly brown hair, big brown eyes, the sweetest smile ever and he dresses very well. A little grunge here, a little rockstar there. Good jewelry. You get it.

I always catch people staring at him when he’s at the bar with his friends. (We live in Europe btw, legal drinking age is 18.) In short, I find him very cute. He’s basically a micro celebrity among the community and he doesn’t even know it.

So, while my wife was away I went down to the bar and his friend group invited me to come sit with them. We started talking, he’s super funny and we began talking about Pearl Jam because of the shirt I was wearing. Found out he’s obsessed with the music scene of the 90s, specifically rock and grunge, and I happen to have a collection of merchandise of the big 4. I invited him to come check it out and he eagerly accepted. None of his friends wanted to come, so it was just us two. Showed him the stuff, he got super excited about it and I even let him keep one of my Soundgarden shirts and some CDs.

I offered to cook dinner, we ate and then had some weed brownies for dessert. We got posted on the couch, talked for a good while and he began confiding in me. I’m not gonna go into detail because that’s shitty, but he basically told me he’d never had a positive sexual experience up to that point. Apparently all of his exes were switches leaning submissive and he’s purely submissive, so things never really worked out and he never finished with any of them.

I told him about me and my wife’s arrangements and some other stuff about our sex life. (Don’t worry, my wife is 100% okay with this. Even in this context.)

Here’s where I might be the asshole, if not the creep:

Now, I was pretty high at that point and I joked about how I could give him a positive experience. To my surprise, he actually eagerly accepted. I was a bit hesitant because we were both buzzed, but he kept reiterating that he’s consenting and that he’s sure he wants this. So, I made sure he had a good night and he actually ended up sleeping over and we cuddled. It was super nice and he seemed genuinely ecstatic about it the next morning, it was adorable. I was honestly just happy that I was able to give him a positive sexual encounter.

We exchanged numbers, kept texting for two days and he ended up coming over again. Had some more fun together and he went to go sleep over at a friend’s place. At that point, I sort of realized that I may be catching feelings for him. Which is against me and my wife’s rules and also just a horrible idea, especially considering the age gap. So, I let him know that I need some distance and he was super understanding. He was understandably a bit disappointed but didn’t complain or anything.

Once my wife came back, I told her about everything. This is just a thing we do because it helps avoid speculation and unnecessary jealousy. We always tell each other about what happens with our other sexual partners, but only if they consent to it. Which most of them do because they’re our friends. She seemed a bit unnerved by it, not because of the fact that I had feelings for him, but because of the age difference. She said it’s weird and predatory and told me she needed some time to think.

Apparently, she went to go check in on M and asked him if I pressured him into anything. He said it was a 100% mutual thing and he’s very much into older guys, so he enjoyed it quite a lot.

This put her mind at ease but I’m still quite shaken by it. I never stopped to consider the fact that the age difference is quite concerning. I can’t help but feel like a nasty creep that bribed some poor 20 year with old band shirts to come sleep with him. I don’t like that I didn’t even think about it. Talking with M came so easy and we share a lot of interests. I’m not about to go and say he’s 'mature for his age' because he isn’t, he acts like any other 20 year old.

I was just so focused on how attractive and interesting he is to me, I fear I might’ve acted extremely selfish and should’ve stopped to take his lack of experience and his naivety into account. Of course he’d sleep with me, he’s 20 and doesn’t know any better. It should’ve been my job, as the older adult, to put a stop to it. Please don’t hesitate to give it to me straight.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?