#I wish I could just not care
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I also need to get better at seeing dumbass takes and just going "huh, that person is an idiot/doesn't know what they're talking about" and then keep scrolling instead of thinking that trying to convince them they're wrong will work
#my problem is that I'm aware these people vote or make political decisions based on their uninformed opinions#so it stresses me out seeing them#i wish i could just not care
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#my brain feels like hot garbage#I just feel so inadequate all the time#I’m so sick of shielding from covid#I wish I could just not care#but I am already so disabled and chronically ill#plus I love with two other chronically ill people and i would hate myself forever if they got really sick bc of me not caring#but it’s just exhausting#and I’m tired and I want to just be able to be who I was before I saw how quickly immune compromised people were abandoned#but I can never un-see how fucking ableist this country is#sad sad sad!!!!#if ur reading this I hope ur having a better day than I am and if not here are some flowers for you#🌸💐🌼🌷🪷🌺🌹
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im so so so so tired and i wish things could just be simple and okay for longer than two days :/
#i wish u to feel better#its a bit selfish i know#i like it more when u are in a good mood#i wish i could just not care#guess i just have to keep getting comfortable with the uncomfortable
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obligatory beach divorce doodling
bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3#i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to#just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff#the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face#i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc#i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are#plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL#as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3#thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene#kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this#for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind#what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild#but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs#'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework
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this place is so fruity
#ive had this in my drafts for MONTHS#im not really that confident in how the pose looks so I settled on stopping here#I wish I got to see them interact more but it was so exciting to see Franziska being nicer and a little conscientious since the last game#i knw the main idea in the games is to help ppl we barely know and go thru all this trouble than just dismiss it bc we dont think#its worth the effort but theres also the way this shapes how characters interact and develop relationships with each other#even though i know maya and franziska are like strangers to each other given how theyve barely talked to each other in canon#using what the game tells me abt them and thinking abt how they would interact in a believable way than what they already have#is something i really appreciate abt the ace attorney series. in canon these guys only ever have a reason to interact bc of#circumstances that force them to. canon is a suggestion to me and if smth fanon feels believable to me i could not care less#aa#ace attorney#doodles#my art#myart#franmaya#maya fey#franziska von karma
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my angel from way above
#i started my day by listening to angel by massive attack so i had to draw anders about it#also inspired by jeanne d'arc listening to the voices. hehe......#anders#dragon age#da2#my art#art tag#im trying to care less and draw more & it's nice that way#also i know justice doesn't look like a cute angel but that was my idea#but i was thinking it's like in universe... from someone who hasn't seen justice#if i was in the dragon age world i'd be doing exactly the same thing im doing now : drawing anders#i wish i could have made the caption just love you love you love you love you (in a massive attack way)
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i really don’t think it’s “typical dragon age fandom nonsense” for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing that’s remained constant are nods to our previous choices.
i wasn’t expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i can’t find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldn’t have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? you’re gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldn’t have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? you’re saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.
#dragon age#yes i’ve seen john epler’s explanation on only wanting to carry forward choices that they could ‘really do something with.’#and i understand what he’s saying and i’m curious to see how those 3 choices they brought forward will impact the story!!#but i’m still disappointed. and i think telling people why they shouldn’t be disappointed is just gonna make them More disappointed.#also don’t really appreciate dev comments like ‘careful what you wish for with cameos. it just gives us an excuse to find new and horrific#ways to kill your faves teehee 🤭🤭’ like okay???????? what???#alistair came back twice & could be fine both times. loghain’s inquisition cameo was so meaningful because who the hell expected to see him#again? leliana can straight up die in origins and yall brought her back anyways. like what are we doing out here.#also when i think of ‘typical’ nonsense for this fandom it’s people doxxing each other over fictional character opinions. or what#fictional side your fictional inquistor took in the fictional mage-templar war. or just plain old racism.#NOT ‘damn it’s fucking upsetting that this excited replay i’ve been doing of the previous games and all the recommending i’ve been doing#for new fans to play the other games before veilguard has turned out to be pretty fucking pointless.’#might as well tell someone to watch a let’s play of trespasser and that’s it.#11/26 in a hater mood so i’m turning rbs back on lol. go forth & be petty
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Viago and Teia: *forever maintaining the balance of will-they-won't-they, always keeping the other Houses guessing if they're actually a united front or if it's all an alliance of convenience, meant to disrupt the confidence of their rivals and ensure their own strength* Lucanis and Rook: *declaring their undying love for each other within five feet of Morrigan, who has already proven to be a horrible gossip*
#datv#datv spoilers#viago de riva#teia cantori#andarateia cantori#lucanis dellamorte#rook#lucanis x rook#alessia de riva#alessia/lucanis#i just love the idea that viago and teia aren't outright Together because it keeps the rest of the crows guessing#it makes it harder to find a weakness if you don't know if they genuinely care or if its business partners with benefits#meanwhile lucanis 'first talon' de riva isn't even trying to hide it#and even morrigan is aware of it and has gossiped about them to the inquisitor#god i wish i could have a playable section with lyris that's JUST her heckling lucanis about it#i think it'd be hilarious for lyris 'flirted with the whole inquisition' lavellan to tease him and make him flustered
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Still thinking about Gortash’s coronation and how smoothly he cuts a Durge off from their companions (and wishing we had a follow up with that)
The first words out of his mouth are that he cares about them- anybody else who remembers Durge has only distain for them, but not him- he’s happy to see them, he missed them, they’re his favorite assassin and he’s only glad to see them alive
And then he takes it a step further by providing insight into their past, something Ketheric refused to do for them- and Gortash isn’t dumb. He knows exactly how Durge’s companions will react, knows that he’s effectively outing Durge when he so easily could have pulled them to the side instead
And when their companions snap at them and refuse to look at them, Gortash is still smiling. Suddenly, he’s the nicest person in the room. Suddenly, everything is unstable and dangerous- but he likes you. He’s sitting there with open arms while the companions are rightfully so mad with Durge, but Gortash is more than happy to resume their alliance
He’s more than happy to be their sole source of comfort again, and isn’t he just so sweet for that?
#anyways really wish we did have a follow up- it feels like he so very effectively gets between Durge and their companions#and all of the companions are rightfully mad at them#and then you just keep on trucking along and eventually it feels like that conversation didn’t happen#which is too bad- I think it could be a lot of fun to put more pressure on Durge and co#and I think it’s a fun insight into Gortash’s character#he’s remarkably honest during that whole conversation and it’s all incredibly manipulative#plus I like to think he knows how finicky durge can be- and how quickly they feel backed up against a wall when their friends snap at them#and there he is. conveniently offering a different option#conveniently offering for them to fall back into step#which is nifty! mostly because it’s both caring (as much as someone like Gortash knows how to) and super manipulative#durgetash#Durge#enver gortash#bg3#bg3 spoilers
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soooooo confused with neither answer being good
#one is definitely way better than the other#but it would be so fucked up#and genuinely wouldn’t make sense#but the other way round is also confusing#and just such and awful awful possibility. I’m praying it’s not real. but i think it’s more likely#and honestly I don’t wanna think about it at all#I wish I could just not care#but it’s far too important to just. yeh. fuck aaaauuuughh
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had to tell my boss about my eating disorder treatment and she was just like i have the same experiences from when i was younger… something something lived female experience 💔💔💔❤️
#i was just rly sad the other day and we talked about it#and i got so sad when she had been through it to#bc my other female colleague too#and ANOTHER ONE TOO NOW RHAT I THINK ABT IT#it makes me so sad thinking about how many hungry women there are#i wish i could just not care#i wish i was better#i wish i wasn’t trying to control my body like this#i’m so much better than i have been but it’s not enough#the things i could amount to if i was properly fed and wasted no energy on hating myself#but i just can’t get there#it’s so scary#anywyas#tw eating disorder
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there's something deeply gutting about being a writer right now. watching studio execs brag about starving people like you out of your very house just to not pay you anything above the pennies you currently make. watching some people cheer over AO3 being targeted for a DDOS attack. the complete lack of profitability of writing commissions or writing in general in transformative spaces, especially in contrast to fanart. the pivot of so many social media platforms to be video and image based near-exclusively.
I don't know. it just makes me sad to know that the hobby that kept me alive while growing up homeschooled with dial-up internet and local antenna TV... is only ever gonna be a side job with minimal engagement. I know this site is good about supporting libraries and the concept of books but, do me a favor? Reach out to a writer friend you know. Leave a comment on your last five read stories on your favorite website.
Tell us you care.
#maybe that's why I've been so stalled on my novel#I keep trying to convince myself there's a POINT to it#but I look at how BRUTAL the publishing industry is and how I can't even consistently break ten reblogs on writing I post here#and I just. it hurts. and I have other hobbies I could fall back on!!! I could do art and cosplay and cater to the immediate engagement!!#but writing is my LOVE and my PASSION and I just wish. I wish the current climate CARED about us#TALKED to us the way we talk to cosplayers and artists and the chocolate guy#UGH. Wednesday blues hitting me NASTY today
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Eloise Bridgerton being an absolute mood:
and Cressida's reaction of 'this girl is so weird, but I'm into it??? Wait am I into this??'':
#i was so sad that no one had made gifs of this moment#that i simply made one myself#i just love this almost smile cressida has here#like she can't believe eloise would just say and do this sort of thing#which kind of also adds to what she says in a later episode about eloise being courageous#she means this; eloise just being unapologetically herself without caring about whats appropriate#something cressida doesn't have the freedom to do (because she lacks the family support eloise has) but probably wishes she could#i love finding these little moments bc you can interpret so much from them even though they're only seconds long#yes i am autistic why do you ask?#eloise bridgerton#cressida cowper#creloise#bridgerton#bridgerton s3#bridgerton 3x02#gifs#my gifs#(also i don't know how to gif i did my best with what gimp can do)#bc id rather die than using something adobe makes
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FREAKING AWESOME BEST GUY EVER I LOVE YOU.
#succession#jeremy strong#read the article if you want but most of the rest of it is just them dissing on his Method#i don’t even care. like this is sooooooooo. it’s like he’s taking lessons in becoming a real boy#and that’s awesome. wish i could do that
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taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go ”our perception is warped bc of the age we live in” and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of ”hes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellan” ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
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Sometimes i wish flirting was as easy as taking a girls face in my hands and telling her i have time for her, that i’ve got time for all her hopes and worries and rants and goals and wants and needs
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#like idk#ive just got so much time and energy to devote to loving someone#but you can’t just SAY that#youve gotta do the flirt and the date and only THEN do you get to show them#but i am BAD at the first two steps🙃#like pls just let me show i care enough to make time and spend my time on you cause thats all i want to DO if i like you#ughhhhhh#dating is so HARD i wish i could do it#im gay and i like sleeping
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