#guess i just have to keep getting comfortable with the uncomfortable
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Do they get jealous?/ JJK x fem!reader
Featuring: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Toji Fushiguro, Megumi Fushiguro, Yuuji Itadori, Kento Nanami, Ryoumen Sukuna
tw: kissing, making out, jealousy, possessive behavior, toxic behavior, implied/referenced sex, raw sex, groping I guess
Disclaimer: all featured characters are depicted as adults
Gojo would never admit it. He loves to think of himself as the carefree type, one confident enough not to fear other men stealing you away from him. However, he is also very much aware of how hot you are, and he can’t help but count heads turning when you stroll down the street, your arm securely hooked around his. You pretend not to hear his teeth gritting and not to notice the way he possessively circles an arm around your waist to keep you closer to him. He’s not jealous, they’re just too damn greedy.
Geto’s eyes immediately darken as soon as he catches sight of another man looming over you at the club. They’re awfully bold, honestly, considering you’re usually already grinding against him as they confidently approach the scene. As soon as the poor things meet his gaze from over your shoulder they’re able to catch a glimpse of the silent threat hidden within them. But he’s not satisfied with just that. No, he carefully snakes an arm around your waist, his palm shamelessly spreading across your belly to make them unequivocally aware of who you belong to. And if they still dare touch you, then they deserve what’s coming to them.
Toji acts cold. He freezes you out until he can have you as he properly wants. Whatever he’s had to endure while out with you, whether it be yearning looks from other men eating you up with their eyes or you exchanging words with way too lustful strangers in lousy bars, he patiently waits for you two to be alone to vent it out. As soon as you’re past the threshold of your apartment he slams you against the wall and claims your lips in a heated kiss. He takes you raw that night because he can, making you moan his name so loud that you’re sure the whole building can hear. That’s what you get, after all, for putting him in such misery all night.
Megumi’s not the type to get jealous. He knows how beautiful you are, and he loves the way boys look at you whenever they notice, too. He’s not scared of such attention, as long as you’re not bothered by it. His only response to the occurrence is to provide the comfort of his presence whenever it makes you feel somewhat uncomfortable. It always does the trick to pull you flush against his chest and start peppering sweet, passionate kisses down your neck, driving looks away and shifting your attention back to where it ultimately belongs: to him.
Yuuji’s not possessive in the slightest. He knows that you easily draw the attention of other men, and he’s okay with it. However, from time to time he does get a bit insecure about it. He wonders if you could find someone to satisfy you better than he can, if you would leave him were that to ever happen. That’s when he comes looking for cuddles and pitifully pouts at you as he asks “ You love me, right?”. You can’t help but chuckle at the display, affectionately bumping your nose on his before answering him “ Only you, always”. It’s enough to dissipate any lingering doubt, enough to make him playfully nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck and inhale in your scent.
Nanami’s fully confident in your loyalty, that’s never been a matter of concern to him. However, as soon as anyone tries to do anything even remotely disrespectful in your regards he feels compelled to step in, first and foremost politely asking them to back off. Unfortunately, sometimes that doesn’t work, and considering the size of the man, you’re dumbfounded by how often he’s got to resort to the second option. Let’s just say none of the boys that have made him go with it have left his sight unscathed.
Sukuna’s not so much jealous as he is proud to showcase you around. You're always the prettiest girl at any part he takes you to, and it shows in the way jaws immediately drop to the floor as soon as you walk by. He’s happy to circle his arm around your shoulder and dive into deep make-out sessions in front of anyone who dares look at you as if you were up for the taking. You’re his alone, and if the hickies covering your neck are not enough to make them stay away, then he’ll make sure to give them a little show by shoving his tongue in your mouth instead.
So what about the way they kiss you?
What about AOT men?
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#x reader#headcanon#headcanons#gojo#satoru gojo#suguru geto#geto#x you#imagine#x y/n#reader insert#smut#fanfic#toji#toji fushiguro#megumi fushiguro#itadori yuuji#nanami kento#nanami#sukuna#ryoumen sukuna#ryomen sukuna#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#nanami x reader#toji x reader#sukuna x reader
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Love Heals | Jaemin Imagine #18
Title: love heals
Genre: college au, hurt/comfort
Warnings: mentions and graphic descriptions of self-harm, depression, blood, breakdowns. please do not read if any of these topics make you uncomfortable.
Word Count: ~1.4k
Author's Note: I guess I went from writing some sweet fluffy stories to sad and dark stuff again. I apologize, I know my lighter stuff might be what you guys like more. But whenever I write about this sensitive topic in particular, it means that my mind is spiraling again and I'm stuck in the dark place I've tried so hard to escape. And in this dark place, I write what I feel in hopes that I can comfort others who might be experiencing something similar. Please know that you are not alone, and there are so people that want to help and support you. If you feel like there isn't anyone in your life who can do that right now, know that God loves you and wants to help you get through this. Thank you for reading and I'm sorry ^ ^
𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪
The heavy silence falls on your dorm room again, as you relive every dark thought that has ever entered your head. Once again, your mind attacked and you lost the battle. All the progress you’ve made to fight the negative self-talk is meaningless. Positivity, optimism, hope— are all strangers, fleeting and unreachable. Depression is the friend that you’ve become too attached to.
Sitting in your bed, you glance down at your arm, now littered with straight lines of red— the faint sting of them just starting to settle. They vary in length, most of them small but numerous. The cuts started just below your elbow, and stopped at your wrist. Somehow it has become your goal to ensure that no space of skin goes untouched by the razor blade that’s resting proudly on your desk. Each line seems like a scarlet promise— a release, a brief surge of something other than emptiness. And your mind echoes with the familiar justification: I’ll stop eventually…just not now.
The quiet creak of the door, left unlocked by your roommate, pulls you from your thoughts, and you know without looking who’s come in. Jaemin. He’s always had a way of moving softly, almost as if he didn’t want to disturb the air. You’re grateful for it, but you wished he hadn’t come tonight. You just wish he’d go home and not see you like this. Yet, your boyfriend must have a sixth sense of something. Despite all the effort you put into hiding it, he seems to sense your sadness from even miles away.
“(Y/n)?” His voice is tender, but you hear the worry beneath it.
Jaemin’s eyes sweep over her as he crosses the room, his gaze landing on your arm. Out of instinct, you pull down your sweater sleeve out of instinct. But you both know it’s too late— the damage is done and he’s seen it. Although you want to appear unbothered about it to him, your heart still clenches as his shoes come off and he approaches you cautiously.
He exhales as he reaches for your hand gently. “Princess…”
You want to pull away, to avoid his touch— another instinct. But his hands are so warm, so careful. You feel like you don’t deserve it, yet it keeps you from pushing him away. Jaemin turns your arm over, exposing the fresh wounds. His expression softens even more, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he crouches down under your bed, to open the bottom drawer where you kept the first-aid kit he bought for you after the first time this happened.
Silence lingers as he moves to sit beside you on the bed, the dark blue comforter from your childhood beneath you both. Without a word, he takes gauze from the kit, pressing it softly against the cuts to stop any bleeding before reaching for the antiseptic wipes. Jaemin cleans your cuts with the same care he always does— gentle, tender, yet heartbreakingly serious.
Although his focus shifts to bandaging your wounds, you still can’t bring yourself to look at him. You never can, knowing this has happened too many times by now. Shame bubbles in your chest and you bite down on your lower lip, trying to think of what to say. You search your mind for an excuse you didn’t use the last time. Coping with stress? Releasing anger? Punishing yourself? Wanting to feel something instead of nothing? Maybe all of the above, you suppose.
When the last area of marked skin is covered with an “extra large” Band-Aid, you finally dare to glance up at him. By now, you’ve learned that Jaemin doesn’t react with anger in general. Especially in these moments, he never raises his voice or purposely uses words to make you feel worse. Instead, he simply lets you know that he’s here when you’re ready to talk, before asking if you’ve eaten yet. These incidents always end with a shared meal and cuddles in your bed or his.
But the way he looks at you now, with such concern and despair, chips at the wall you try so hard to keep up. Once the first-aid is closed, he holds your hand and brushes his thumb lightly over your knuckles. That’s when you notice his fingers are trembling.
“Jaem... are you okay?” you ask, though your throat was dry from staying quiet for so long.
Then you see water gloss over his eyes and this hits you. Jaemin never cries.
His head drops and his hand tightens around yours, almost like he’s afraid to let go. “(Y/n)... I... I don’t know what to do.”
The quiet confession makes you hold your breath. You watch as his shoulders begin to shake, and he uses his free hand to cover his face. The first tear slips down his cheek, and then another, until he’s full-on crying, letting soft, choked sobs escape him. This is all the heartbreak you needed to witness for you to lean forward to wrap your arms around his broad frame.
It hurts more to see his usual steady composure shattered. “I-I’m so scared, Princess,” he blubbers.
“Every time I see this—” Voice breaking as his fingers ghost over your arm. “Every time I find you like this... I can’t help but fear that I’ll get here too late. That... that one day you’ll just be gone.”
You haven’t been able to cry since you first picked up the razor blade today. But seeing your boyfriend break in front of you is enough to make tears well up in your eyes as well. You have never seen Jaemin like this before— so raw, so completely undone.
All you can do is hold him a little closer as if that could somehow mend the pain you’re causing. He sinks further into your embrace, his body trembling against yours. You try to soothe him by stroking his hair, as you often did as a gesture of affection. But the brokenness in his sobs only grew louder.
His forehead presses against your shoulder as he clings to you. “I just... I want to see you graduate. I want to marry you, and buy a house together. Have kids with you as we’ve always wanted. I want to come home to you and the family we’ve made together.”
Your heart feels like it’s splintering. The dreams you both share weigh down on you, each one sharper than the last. Tears fall freely for you now as his own ones slow. He pulls back slightly to look at you with his red-rimmed eyes, vulnerability etched across his face.
“(Y/n), please,” he pleads desperately, “I can’t lose you. I love you so much... Please don’t leave me.”
Jaemin consistently shows his love in every possible way, whether it be through words, hugs and kisses, gifts, all of it. However, this is the first time you truly understand the depth of his love— the way he wants you here, not just in fragments, but whole, alive. A surge of resolve fills within you.
As your fingers reach up to brush away his tears, you whisper, “I’m so sorry, Jaemin. I didn’t realize how much this was hurting you too.”
His leans into your touch, compelling you to cup his face in your hands. You feel the warmth of his skin beneath your touch.
“I’ll... I’ll get better. I promise, I’ll try for you. Because...,” you swallow, struggling to find the right words. “Because I love you too.”
Of course, you have returned those three words to him. But these ones in particular carry so much more to them. Although you may feel deeply trapped in Hell, your love for Jaemin is stronger than this punishment you’ve given yourself. He deserves to have someone he can give his love to and have every ounce of it reciprocated. And you want to be that person for him, you can be that person for him.
The calmness in him seems to appear, as his tears finally subside. He moves closer to let all of his emotions pour into the soft kiss he presses against your lips. “You’re not alone, Princess. I’ll be here with you, every step of the way,” he murmurs in assurance.
A strange, fragile hope blossoms inside you as the two of you kiss again. For the first time, you want to believe there is something more than your own pain. If your love with Jaemin prevails, you have the will to heal. For him now, and for yourself eventually.
𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪
previous masterlist -> current masterlist
#nct dream#nctzen#czennie#kpop#nct dream imagines#nct dream scenarios#jaemin#jaemin x reader#jaemin scenarios#jaemin imagines#nct dream x reader#na jaemin#hurt/comfort#nct dream angst#jaemin angst#self harm#depression
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im so so so so tired and i wish things could just be simple and okay for longer than two days :/
#i wish u to feel better#its a bit selfish i know#i like it more when u are in a good mood#i wish i could just not care#guess i just have to keep getting comfortable with the uncomfortable
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such
#if i say it enough i will remember it's true#can you guess which aspect of capitalism i'm struggling with today?#it does not help my bones are somehow WORSE than yesterday even after all of the rest i took so that's Super Fun:tm:#so i've got that on in the back of my head#ugh#i... am putting off calling my grandma - i meant to do it last week but i got too in my head about it#and uno reversed myself into forgetting to do it at all until the Worst Times Possible#(generally around Normal Fuckin Meal Times)#i want to call to wish her a belated mother's day and check in re: grandpa but also...#also i don't want to have to do a phone call i don't want to talk to them about anything at all#they stress me out to talk to and it makes me super uncomfortable to be on the phone in general let alone with a Heavy Topic over our heads#like.... i'm comfortable with where i'm at acceptance-wise with Grandpa's whole situation#and i know i am late for a better relationship with the pair of them in general#like i'm not going to repair a relationship that wasn't built to collapse down to this point this is as far as it got built up to#i'm not building more relationship between me and someone who i know is passing soon when they didn't take the opportunity either#like they had just as much chance as me to improve our relationship after i became an adult and they chose to use my mother as#an intermediary which has stunted their connection to me and that's not my fault#i admittedly did not reach out but i was not taught i could safely do that to anyone#because my parents badmouth literally any person they know for one reason or another#i regularly fuck up in conversations with my grandparents because i'll say somethign that is a holdover from my understanding of them#through my parents and it's like. kind of really insulting! and i've been doing it my whole life and i know as soon as i get their reaction#and i can't recover because i don't actually know them at all#so i can't be like ''oh my god i know that's inaccurate i have no idea why i said that'' because i *don't* know until after i've done it#every goddamn time it happened the last time i got a call from them too#like... my bio fam/family of origin is just not good at keeping in touch and i know i'm a product of that#and i know theoretically how to adjust for it but it does require work on the other end of the line too#and unfortunately i know my bio family too well and know they won't do their part#i grew up in the group project everyone hates#and i'm on my way to deciding they can show up to the presentation day without me#i've started a new family project over here with blackjack and hookers
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*kicks down your door* ALRIGHT ALRIGHT LET’S GET THIS STARTED
First off I want the basics!! Who and what is your S/I? What’s their backstory and how did they meet everyone?
Aaaaaah!! Thankyou for your interest!!!! I go back and forth between "He" and "I" when talking about my S/I so apologies if this isn't cohesive!!!
I actually have two Mario S/Is technically,,,
One really really old one baby me made in... 2011 or so that I lightly revamped a few years ago; That post can be seen Here (bowuigi and Mariocest mentioned)
And the newer one made in part thanks to the Mario Movie finally giving me confirmed extended Mario Family outside of the Super Show, my Mario Brothers Cousin S/I is the one I'll talk a bit about.
I have a few posts about him and the rest of the Mario family floating around my art tag but to give the summery:
Emilio (nicknamed Emile) is the only son of Tony Mario and his ex-girlfriend Pauline. He is 5 years younger than Mario and Luigi, and 6 years older than their younger cousin Louisa. He's currently in collage at his mother's wishes to become a politician, but has no real interest in it. He has a pet turtle named after his favorite Pokemon Turtwig.
I'm using the movie's cool isekai plot of how Mario and Luigi got to the Mushroom Kingdom as my base, because I personally like it better than Yoshi's Island/Partner's in Time's sort of They were Always there plot, and it just is the only story we have on Mario Family and I love them they are my Familia. However Partner's in Time is canon to my S/I's later plot just in more of a Cross Dimensional adventure rather than just time travel because I love that game a lot
So I'm not plot important in the movie at all, that all still happens as it does in canon, I was blissfully unaware of their adventure sitting at home in Brookyln with the rest of the family until they came home.
After that, and after Mario and Luigi fully move out and into the Mushroom Kingdom, I start visiting them and crashing at their place often.
I have a deep fascination with Mushrooms, in both real life and in this Self Insert, so of COURSE I have to come be a biology nerd all over the Mushroom Kingdom, and the bros are happy to have me around. We're all pretty close, especially sense I'm the only family member who knows the brothers are together Romantically, and am willing to cover for them.
While in the Mushroom Kingdom I start getting interested in more than just the Mushroom Forests. I start asking about the people, and the other kingdoms, and the people in those kingdoms, so on and so forth. Mario and Luigi don't really know much aside from Evil King Bowser and his kingdom of Killers which. Bros I know he tried to kill you but that's a big sweep to make of a whole country. So we go ask the Princess for more information. But she's busy doing Princess Things.
Enter Toadsworth my beloved old man who deserved to be in this movie. Toadsworth has been the royal adviser sense before Princess Peach, so of course he knows plenty on the surrounding Kingdoms and their governments and justice systems and trade rates and all that juicy world building.
So I start getting into fantasy politics.
My S/I for this one is really smart, smarter than real me by a lot, he retains information well and makes more logical conclusions and can grasp big concepts my little dropped outta highschool pea brain can't, so he soaks up every bit of information Toadsworth gives him like a sponge.
A month or two of this goes by and I start missing my real world collage classes to run off to the Mushroom Kingdom and learn Fantasy Politics. I read every book in Peach's Library, and then everything in Toadsworth's personal collection, and then everything in the Toadtown local library, all while listening to any story or extra detail Toadsworth himself knows.
Meanwhile my poor dad, Tony, has Pauline breathing down his neck about me skipping classes to run off with those Hooligan cousins of mine to some Fantasy land doing who knows what throwing my future away. This isn't super plot important just. Pauline is a Mother Knows Best kind of parent while Also being a Hands Off kind of parent. I was raised in the Mario household, she paid for my schooling, that's the dynamic.
Anyway eventually I fully commit to dropping out of Human Collage to fully study under Toadsworth to become the Mushroom Kingdom Royal Adviser under him. I'm now doing super official stuff like helping plan events like galas and the Star Festival, I'm sitting in on meetings both with the Toad Court and with other Nations, I'm meeting with Monarchs and Politicians of other Countries on the weekly. I'm rubbing Elbows with King Koopa himself! The bros are not happy about that one but they ARE supportive
I even get my own room in the castle!! Which tends to go pretty unused because at this point I'd been sleeping exclusively in the Bro's house. Occasionally if I'm really focused on a job Toadsworth gives me I'll work overnight on it in my room is the castle, but that rarely happens because Luigi always calls me when dinner's almost ready so I can get home just as it's done, and no one can resist a Luigi home cooked meal. The few times I have stayed overnight working in the Castle Mario's ended up calling me at like 3am because he can't sleep and doesn't want to wake Luigi. Another reason I end up coming home.
Ah this is getting long I'm sorry thankyou so so so much for asking I don't think I've posted all this information cohesively yet?? Is it cohesive?? I hope so!!
Uhm but I think that's all the Basic information!! To summarize:
My S/I is Mario and Luigi's cousin, Son of their Uncle Tony and his ex-girlfriend Pauline. He's about 18-19 years old at the start of the movie
His Backstory is he's a Gifted Kid raised under a Projecting Mother who has an interest in Economics and Politics, but only for the fantasy world Mario and Luigi stumbled into
He meets everyone through becoming the Royal Adviser in training under Toadsworth, leading him to attend important meeting and Galas with high ranking figures like Princess Daisy and the Koopa King Bowser
Thankyou for reading this all if you did!! I hope it was interesting!!!! Please feel free to ask more if you'd like!!
#Thankyou for asking#Shipcest#Mariocest#Only in like one brief passing mention or I would have made a warning before the Read More before it#I'm sorry if Mariocest is like!!! Uncomfortable for you or smth I dunno!!!#It's a big comfort ship of mine and also the like basis on the poly self ship into Royal Polycule thing I have so like#It's hard not to mention it I guess!!! Sorry!!!#Which is weird considering I DIDN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THE SELF SHIP PART!!!!!#JUST THE SELF INSERT!!!#KFDGJFDKJGKDFJ#I tried to keep focus on the Early about year or so after the Movie parts of the Self Insert#I have a timeline for it that spans about 10 years to cover all the games I like#So it's a little complicated#but I've never made a simple Self Insert in my life so it's nothing new#Anyway I hope beyond hope this makes cognitive sense I had to delete and rewrite SOOOO much rambling#Cause I just get!!! So off point!!!!!#All these tags assuming you read the post perhaps the Mariocest tag prevented you from reading it#If so I understand#Thanks for asking anyway it was a lot of fun to get to write it all out at least#Toadsworth my beloved he deserved to be in the movie man#I know why he wasn't he would simply never allow Peach to put herself in danger like that#but also I wanted to see him face me grandpai#Anyway one more time!!! Thankyou for your interest!!!!! I love to ramble but can only do so when prompted so this is a big help to me!!!!!!
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Well…if there’s one (1) good thing about having a crush, it’s that when I’m (for the moment anyway) not worrying about the other person’s boundaries and terror about whether I’ve stomped on them or not + my own frustration at how slow things are to just communicate verbally and directly instead of constantly dancing around nonverbal reads (that are two-way, I suppose but still no substitute, can still mean just about anything)…
…yeah. I do let myself be selfish. Acknowledge what I want instead of burying it so deeply away from my consciousness to not “take up space” I suppose. Finally give myself some damn permission to fall in love with another person “despite” being ace, and “despite” being chronically ill and struggling with my mental health.
And what is it I want?
To feel cared for. Cherished. By someone here. To wake up and have someone greet me with a gentle embrace mindful of the constant chronic pain especially in the mornings to not accidentally pinch things, but not treating me like glass, either. To be given autonomy instead of having it taken away—to do things together, FUN things, without being made to feel guilty about that “taking away” spoons from chores or “well why won’t you just work a job then!” but also respecting my need to rest periodically or take a longer rest after the fact.
To feel heard. To trust that there’s love enough for us to disagree and feel angry and frustrated and sad around eachother and with eachother without judgement, without the risk that things are forever one disagreement or misunderstanding away from falling apart completely or worse.
And please tease me. Teasing is a love language just as much as communication and encouragement and acts of service and finally being held. It’s verbal play, and I trust you to not bully me.
And…I’ve shown as much as I can, I think. I know you’re trying to mirror at least some of it. And I think I’m reading you correctly, but I wish I understood why you seem so terrified to talk directly to me.
#tiger’s musing#screw it. ‘don’t say i’m in love’ or whatever#and well. it will fade eventually. and I am very practiced at Behaving and keeping my feelings to myself#legit always have to do that the very few times I’m liked someone This Ain’t ‘Just’ Platonic Is It#because…guess what. the other person’s comfort and boundaries matters more to me#and friendships aren’t a ‘consolation prize.’ they’re the Good Shit#it’s…just that much harder when there isn’t that Direct Communication With Frequency for me#…bUT!! if he didn’t like me…why does he keep looking at me Like That?!#…right. hang in there for a few more weeks. I did hand over a script as..#…yeah. wonder if he realized /he’s/ the reason I finally found my nerve to write it the way I want#and for all my current ‘will you just RELAX and TALK to me yET?!’ frustration? he’s my muse for joseph!#I needed to see what a GOOD man even remotely looks like just as much as I needed someone like him#to accidentally or intentionally show interest (look. if ya gripe about wanting to do something. PUBLICALLY#(and it’s within my skills to make it available. guess what. I’m gonna call your bluff#(I’m too much of a writer and actress. if I see Checkov’s Gun I’m firing it!)#…does he realize that I basically told everyone off for pressuring him via social media and semi privately?#that the only reason why I started using facebook again was to get people to leave him alone?#(who knows. but that + him…kinda witnessing just How Bad my mental health is? is…when I think there was a turning point. maybe. probably.)#…I suck at socializing in Initial Stages. so much. it’s so uncomfortable#but…screw it. I’ve learned that I’ll use what power I have to change environments and make opportunities#even when it’s (deeply) uncomfortable for me to do so#…because sometimes you gotta blink first to make someone else feel safe. and hopefully latch onto that#and…yeah. guess I am patient. but also griping the entire time
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Hhh
#i understand how frustrated she is#and her sadness makes me feel horrible#she thinks that when shes emotional i stop caring about her but i dont know how to tell her its the opposite#i care more than anythin about her#i guess sometimes i dont show it enough when shes emotional but i guess i just have to find a better way to show her i care and love her.#if positiviry doesnt work and being rational doesnt work and neither does comfort or advice ill just figure out something that will#i just need to be on the same page as her#i understand how deeply she feels about this i just need to show her that i care and that shes not alone and i know whats going on#i just want her to feel like i truly do care for her because she thinks i dont which couldnt be further from the truth#but everytime i try to show that care it gets misunderstood or it makes her angry#i have to meet her somewhere in the middle so shes not uncomfortable but shes getting the comfort she needs and feels like shes loved#i want her to be able to be vulnerable woth me#i dont want that to go away#i know ive been trying my best and maybe my best just isnt enough#but ill keep trying until the ends of the earth just to make you happy and make you understand how much love i have for you#i just hate that shes going through this right now and ive not been able to help#ill figure this out#i just want her to be happy.#mine
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can't sleep
#slept terribly last night can i please get some rest. please#coworker misgendered me yday and i think this guy rly dislikes me. it's mutual but i have reasons that are not shitty#my reasons = he misgenders me and gives me the creep#his reasons = ? i'm trans ? he's a weirdo and not in a good way ?#but now i keep thinking abt it and abt how lots of ppl assume i'm a woman#that doesn't feel nice especially after years on t. like mostly i've made my peace with it it's whatever i'm not a very masculine person#and i don't even want to be#but sometimes i wish i could wear nail polish and talk the way i talk and have the mannerisms i have and all that without ppl thinking i'm#a woman. like i'm not. i'm not fucking anything please stop assigning me genders#it's so frustrating being nonbinary sometimes. even the least uncomfortable of the binary options ppl insist on labeling me with is#uncomfortable and feels wrong#and i know. i know. this is just how the world works. ppl assume you're one or the other. i have to deal with it#and i do mostly but sometimes i get so frustrated by it bc it's just. it hurts me that it's this way and it feels so constrictive#also my mum misgendered me too today and she didn't even correct herself so that was the nail in the coffin of my feeling bad#man it's been almost exactly 8 years since i came out to her (it was on coming out day)#i can't believe she can't try a little harder#maybe i want too much bc things are better than they were but is it really too much to ask that she stops misgendering me altogether#then again talking about trans things with her has never gotten less uncomfortable so i guess she's just. never going to be truly#comfortable with my transness and i can only be grateful things are better and not ask for more#that sucks tho. i know many have it worse but i'm just tired#strangers misgender me my family misgenders me coworkers misgender me too sometimes like. when can i stop living with the woman label#forcibly put on me. i don't want it. there's nothing wrong with it but it's NOT me so i don't fucking want it#i'm sad. i don't want to feel like this forever
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my life would be so much better with a 2nd non-bathroom room and a bunny rabbit
#bnuny thoughts#i think im getting burnt out on splatoon and it's making me sad#idk what else to do i wish i could pursue my hobbies but without space or meds i can't muster the strength i need#also i tried looking for a job today and wow. you even need a food certification to be paid minimum wage??#i just can't deal with this shit at all still#job hunting irl doesnt work and neither does online#too many barriers to entry for the simplest of things#i don't understand how anyone functions under these conditions#im not good enough at anything to be paid for it i guess#this system thinks i should die i guess#food is taking up all my extra money nowadays#and im still running out of food stamps#im eating 2 cups of ramen a day ($3 each) because i keep gagging on the $1 maruchan cups of ramen#i ordered a copious amount of noodles on amazon hoping to keep my food costs strictly on my EBT this month#trying to go out by myself as little as possible so that I can afford to be able to *insert literally anything that isn't play video games*#im so so deeply tired of video games i wish i could experience the wonders of life and reality but that costs money each time#video games cost money 1 time and can be played over and over again#sometimes they dont even cost money#but a drink that isn't prepackaged costs at least $5#and food is even more than that#and no loitering because everything is actually private property#and also i feel extremely uncomfortable in public places like parks because strangers have always been hostile to me (in georgia)#and i have not had any experiences that conflict with that trend as i avoid public spaces (which is easy because you have to seek them out)#i want to be in one but i won't feel comfortable because i will feel like i don't belong#also i wouldnt know what to do#and anything like “daydreaming” or “relaxing” would probably result in my dazed ass accidentally staring at someone for too long#i just don't know how to deal with such an intense fear#at least not by myself
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How to manifest your desired face:
*This is the most popular topic, so i made this to clear up some questions you might have or struggle with.*
Manifesting your ideal face Can be frustrating sometimes, why? Well you Always encounter the mirror, and it Can get you very demotivated and you might think that there's no movement or doubt the Law.
But let's simplify LOA Real quick-
1. Decide: decide what kind of face you want, it Can be mixed or just the ideal face you want.
2. affirm: making an affirmation that you feel comfortable to repeat for example "i already have my desired face" "i look exactly like xyz!"
3. persist: being stubborn and faithful to your assumption, you Always return to your assumption/imagination regardless of what the 3d shows you. For example: you still see the same old face in the mirror, before reacting, you affirm that you have your desired face.
That all you gotta do.
But here's the Real question →
Why the 3d is still showing me my old face?
Duh 😒 didn't we ALWAYS Say that you shouldn't take the validation from the 3d? The 3d won't EVER give you your desired face if you focus on it.
The 3d will Always shows you your current assumptions, if you keep saying that you don't have your desired face, well Guess what? Yeah duh you will still see your old face.
But we need to fix that, we need to stop this repeating cycle.
YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR DESIRED FACE! IT IS DONE!
The second you decided that you have your desired face, you have it in 4D.
Done deal.
There's nothing for you to do now, just to persist in the assumption that the fact you already have that desired face of yours.
And the 3D will catch up on and will reflect your 4D, IF you keep fulfilling yourself and accepting the imagination as the true reality.
I cannot stress this enough when i say that the 3D is just a mirror, a dead reality, without imagination, it nothing but a dead reality, what you're experiencing right now is because you imagined it first then it was being reflected into the physical reality.
"B-but Eli i can't ignore the 3d when it is in front of my face😞"
Yeah i know it is difficult but let me tell you.
YOU DON'T NEED TO IGNORE THE 3D!
Just know it will change cause you literally decided that you already have your desired face, you know it is done, creation is finished, you already have your desired face in your 4D and the 3D have no choice but to reflect it!
"but Eli i'm done seeing my ugly face!"
I know it is hard when you are Always in front of that mirror, but beer with it for a while, keep saying positive affirmations, keep affirming that you look exactly like your desired face! I know it will feel Weird and uncomfortable at first but you will get used to it with Times.
"but Eli when i see those pretty girls on tiktok i feel so insecure and i wish to be them😢"
Girl, instead of saying that, when you see a pretty girl on tiktok just Say "oh my god! She's so pretty! But i'm prettier than her, that obviously🙄💅🏻" or "this girl is so pretty like me!".
Affirm against any opposite thought, you're clearly telling your subconscious every single day and reminding it that you DO have your desired face and you're already pretty.
How to know that i'm living in the state of the wish fulfilled?
You won't give a single Fuck to the 3d, you know you already have your desired face so you won't give a single Fuck to what the 3d throw at you.
You'll feel an immense calmness and you'll feel like you already own/ have that desire, it will start feeling natural.
You know it is a done deal, you already have your desires so you'll be unconcerned about what happening in the physical reality, no matter what the 3d throw at you, you KNOW that you do have your desires in the 4d.
People saying your ugly? The Fuck girl? Can't you see my beauty? I'm literally the prettiest.
Seeing pretty girls and feeling insecure? Gurll i'm literally prettier than them, they wish to have my face.
Still seeing your old face in the mirror? Gurl i literally have my desired face, i looks exactly like xyz.
See how it is easy? You just need to be disciplined.
If you really want your desired face, then be that stubborn mf and manifest that perfect face of yours.
Now go and make that change, you'll thank me later😌.
Xoxo, Eli
© Scentedpeachlandcreator
#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loa#loa blog#law of manifestation#how to manifest#loassumption#void state#4d reality#affirm and manifest 🫧 🎀✨ ִִֶָ ٠˟#affirm and persist
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Shigaraki is so pathetic he’s able to cum untouched just from kiss
shared seat (nsfw)
fem!reader x loser!shigaraki
cw: dacryphilia, premature ejaculation, mutual pining, desperation, cowgirl, multiple orgasms, no use of y/n (blank name space instead!!), tomura is a mega computer nerd, reader plays dumb kinda, some light hurt/comfort i guess?? making out, afab/fem reader, implied virgin shiggy :)
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•
naturally.
you have tomura in the palm of your hand. every time you walk by him, brush against him awkwardly, tap his shoulder to get his attention, it sends sparks through his touch-starved limbs and makes him dizzy. every night, he begs and pleads for you to come into his room, even just to sit in there. he wants you in whatever way he can, to see you, smell you, touch you, hear you. gods, of course he wants to taste you, but he's learned the hard way to take whatever he can get.
so when you knock on his door and ask him to teach you how to sort out your PC and mod a few games, his heart lurches in his chest. of course, of course he will. he trudges behind you to your bedroom, watching your ass jiggle lightly in the dingy sweatpants you stole from him a few months back. he takes a deep breath before sitting in your desk chair, immediately clicking through PILES of random trash files and download files.
"_______" he starts sternly, brow already furrowed at the sight. "have you not been deleting the download files after you download a mod?"
you shake your head. "won't that delete the mod?" you lean on your desk next to him, uncomfortably close to him. he smells the conditioner in your hair, your sweet perfume. he tightens his gloved grip on your mouse as he shakes his head and tidies your desktop up.
"fucking idiot" he mumbles as he clears a few gigabytes from the system, "this is why it's so slow, stupid". you giggle and mumble, "ohhhhhh" under your breath.
who's to say you didn't know that. who's to say you just wanted an excuse to have him in your room, huffing at your desk, having his scent fill the room and his frustrations cloud your thoughts. but he didn't have to know that.
he keeps clicking through folders, and you nudge the chair. he turns to face you and you mindlessly sit in his lap, telling him "let me in", spinning the chair back to face the desk.
his breath hitches as your plush ass presses against his dirty pajama pants and half-hardened cock. you watch the pointer on the screen as he sorts through different game files, his breathing unsteady in your ear. you giggle as he groans at the unnecessary folders and shortcuts.
"why...dude, what's with all the sims mods?" he asks, voice filled with genuine concern as he clicks into the mods folder. you panic and spring up, sending the chair back a bit with him still in it. your ass is directly in his face as you scramble, closing the folder.
tomura's eyes widen and he forgets the folder entirely for a moment as your shirt rides up, the small of your back exposed, the waistband of your underwear pulled slightly above the baggy sweats. he starts again and rolls his eyes.
"dipshit, just let me make sure there aren't duplicates, okay?" he pulls you by the waist into him again, your ass falling back onto him. he closes his eyes for a moment to regulate his thoughts.
the mods folder flashes back open. he scrolls through hundreds of mods, your body tensing as he pauses and reads through them all.
"what the hell are you doing to those poor sims" he laughs nervously as his cock grows tighter against you. you grimace as he closes out of it and goes into the save files folder.
he stops when he notices his name front and center, paired with yours.
he nods and stays silent, and you readjust in his lap. your eyes gloss over, unable to confront the clear tension between you two as you shift, his free arm lacing around your waist slowly, holding you tightly as he tries his best to hold back.
he closes out of the tabs and sits on the blank screen for a moment, clearing his throat.
"did...you need me to do anything else here?" he leans forward with you a bit, greedily inhaling your scent again as he awaits a response.
"hm...yeah, can you help me set my new speakers up? they won't connect for some reason." any excuse to keep him here.
"hmph. yeah, sure" he bites his lip and scoots the chair in, opening the program.
"they're plugged in, right?" he asks, and you nod.
"mhm, i'm not that dumb" you playfully lean back, your face all-too-close to his. he rolls his eyes and hums to himself as your weight presses more against him, and he's painfully trying to conceal how hard he is. if you don't stand, maybe you won't notice. he's so fucking close already, he's afraid any small movement will ruin it all.
you lean forward to turn the dial on the speaker and his breath hitches. he twitches in his pants and feels the moisture beading from his tip, hissing lowly to himself as you readjust again.
"jesus, _________. can you figure your shit out" he snips, and you laugh. he groans as he twitches again, dangerously close to finishing right here.
"sorry" your words come out as a whisper as he grips you closer now, his fingers tracing the exposed skin under your shirt as he fiddles around with the settings. you smile as he touches you.
you take it one step too far when you scoot back into him, using his thigh to steady yourself. as you grind into him, he loses control and feels himself cumming sporadically in his fleecy pants. he shakes against you, his head falling into your shoulder as he crumbles underneath you. he nearly crushes your brand new mouse as his hands clench, his uncovered fingers digging into your midriff. he shakes as you feel the moisture seeping from the material, leaking onto the back of your own pants. you don't dare to speak a word, you refuse to ruin it for him.
you go to look at him, but his head is still pressed against your shoulder, his baby blue hair draped over you. his breathing is slowing now, but he's still shaking.
"i'm sorry" he shudders before you can say anything. you grab his hand, still slung across your legs, and squeeze it.
"tomu, it's okay" you comfort him quietly as he continues to shake. you stand and he plants his face into his hands, soft tremors coming from the pale man.
you flip the armrests of the chair up and wrap your legs around him, facing him now. you stroke his hair gently and coax him to look up, his cherry eyes teary and glossed.
you kiss him gently, feeling the tears still running down his cheek. his lips are rough, but they taste like candied apples, and you hold his face in your hands as he falls into the kiss shakily.
as you pull away, he sniffles.
"i'm sorry" he repeats, and looks back down.
you kiss his head, his soft hair tickling your face. he wraps his arms around you and presses his face into you, his tears soaking the front of your shirt. you shush him and brush his hair back. you comfort him best as possible, but feel him hardening underneath you again.
"c'mon" you stand from the seat again, and take his hand. you bring him to the bed, and he sits slowly. you wipe the tears from his cheeks, and he shakes his head.
"why?" he asks quietly, and you kiss his nose, "why aren't you mad at me?".
you tug him into you, kissing him. he moans into the kiss this time, his cock tenting again. your mind swirls with thoughts of him inside of you, making him shiver and cum and whine. why would you be mad at him, your sweet pathetic leader?
no one else would ever see him like this. maybe it played a part in your arousal, knowing that this display was solely for you. that his orgasm was because of you. that he was crying because he was afraid he upset you. your scary, villainous, domineering leader was crying in your room, cock twitching desperately against his minecraft pj pants, because he just came from you sitting in his lap.
the heat between your legs swells as your tongue presses into his mouth, tasting the same sugary sourness from before. his tongue slides forcefully into your mouth, his saliva mixing with yours. he palms aggressively at his erection, trying to push it down nervously before you tug him by his sweater, pulling him on top of you. he instinctively grinds down into you, and as you feel him press against your clothed sex, you moan.
the heavy petting stresses you out. you can't keep kissing him and touching him without feeling him inside of you. tomura's eyes are half-lidded and hungry as you shove him back, and he looks at you nervously for a moment before you pull your pants off, urging him to do the same. he throws the pants off the bed, his cock springing free and tapping against his stomach. the knot in your stomach pulls deeper as you gaze upon the soft sky-blue tuft of hair leading down to his dick, his breathing ragged as you pull yourself on top of him again. you grind down, and he moans as the wetness soaking through your underwear squishes on his admirable length.
he's ready to cum again already, and you can tell from the way he grinds into you from below. you shift your underwear off, awkwardly shimmying as he helps you. he doesn't seem to care as he tugs at the garment, his hands exploring your curves with a greedy grip. as his cock rubs against you, you kiss him, coating him with the slick heat. you help position him against your tight hole, and he thrusts it in, stretching you with a snap. you throw your head back from the sensation and steady yourself for a moment before rocking back and forth, his moans and huffs growing louder. you ride him slowly at first, helping you adjust to his size, and he watches you bounce on him with a feverish daze. he grabs at your shirt and you allow him to bring it up over you, throwing it mindlessly. his hoodie comes off next, yanking haphazardly as you continue to grind and bounce on him. he bites his lip as he cums again, not holding anything back as the sticky seed coats your insides. you don't stop, feeling yourself growing closer. his orgasm brings you even further, and you gyrate your hips against him, his soft hair creating a friction against your clit that is fucking unimaginable. you moan and cry out, chasing the orgasm. you squeeze against him, the searing pain from being stretched before now replaced by a deep craving from the pit of your sex, needing more and more of him to fill you up. his pitiful whining grows in volume as his cock re-hardens inside of you quickly, and his hands grip against your hips and he thrusts from below as you slam down into him, furthering the sensation as his tip nudges your cervix. as you both rock into each other, your climax rushes over you, flooding his cock with a deep heat that sends him over the edge for the third time. tears brim his eyes again as he sprays your cunt with more pearly fluid, and your body shakes as you clench and rub the end of your orgasm out on him. your chest heaves as you both finish, and you fall on top of him with his dick still throbbing inside of you. he whines out and kisses you, tangling his fingers in your hair. the aftershock of your orgasm sends shivers through your body, and you pull yourself off of him. you already miss the feeling of him stuffing you with his cock, but he's spent. he shakes and squeezes his eyes shut, his legs and arms splayed out, vibrating.
you kiss his cheek and reach for something to help him clean up. you grab your shirt and wipe him off, and he frowns.
"didn't have to do that" he chokes out, and you shrug.
"i could never be mad at you, tomura" you say to him as you find clean clothes. as you dress, he drags a blanket over himself.
he nods and doesn't speak again for a moment. you climb in next to him, and he smiles weakly.
"promise?"
you nod. "pinky promise" you lace your fingers with his, the gloves brushing against your soft skin.
the two of you lay together in silence, growing more and more tired with each passing minute. you won't send him back to his room, you'd rather keep him here as long as possible. even if it was left unsaid, you loved him, and you spent every day worrying which day might just be the last. especially with the league growing in infamy, the unknown became scarier every day. but for right now, it felt more than okay. and for right now, you'd rather spend the time with him like this than having to worry about your futures.
"so what's up with that save file on the sims?" his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you groan.
"i think the next thing im gonna ask you how to teach me is hiding folders".
╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
thank you for the ask <3 yummy yummy suggestion!!!!!! 🩷🩷🩷
#myposts#mha#bnha#my hero academia#tomura shigaraki#mha shigaraki#tenko shimura#shigaraki x reader#myhcs#shigaraki headcanons#shigaraki smut#mha smut#tomura shigaraki x y/n#myasks#myoneshots#myfics
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hello Mal!!! i have a nsfw req for toji x shy reader cuz they’re my fav and i literally think about it 24/7.
shy reader who’s not as vocal during sex with toji bc she gets nervous :( so he edges her til she squirts for the first time but only if she uses her voice!!!
Hello, hello! Thank you for reading and for sending this request in ☺️💙
Toji and his shy girl
"What are you doing down there?" Toji asks, finally giving in to the distraction of you sitting at his feet, rather than sitting next to him.
"I'm watching the movie," you respond, with an innocent amount of truthfulness. You don't turn around to look at him, so you're met with a poke to your shoulder. That instinctively makes you turn your head in the direction of the contact.
"The couch is too big. Even for me, doll. Come sit." He pats the spot next to him and shifts where he sits, as if making even more room for you.
Your eyes flit between him and the cushion for a couple seconds before you respond. "I'm okay staying here. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable." You smile, kindly, and turn back to face the screen again.
Toji's brows furrow in misunderstanding. He taps your shoulder again, receiving the same look when you turn, again. You tilt your head in question.
"You wouldn't be making me uncomfortable. Far from it, with the enormous gap of space that would be between us. What if I wanted you to sit between my legs, instead?" He catches the way your eyes widen for a split second, your inhibition cleared for the short span of time. "Come sit, baby," he repeats, this time patting the unoccupied space of the cushion he's sitting on.
You don't want to make him wait any longer. The movie is still playing, you'll both lose track of the plot if you take any longer. You stand from your place on the ground and move to sit next to him. As soon as you bend down to sit, his hands go to your hips and he pulls you so that you fall into the place he wanted you in.
"There you go. Now pay attention to the movie."
–
You try for him. You're trying so hard to ignore the pressure of his forearms around your waist, and the warmth of his wrists against the sliver of skin revealed by your slightly lifted shirt. You can occasionally hear him sigh through his nose, only further adding on to the tension you feel upon sitting between his legs. You don't even know how he's watching the movie. You feel like you're obstructing his vision.
The movie ends and you're left staring at the title screen.
"Okay, movie's over. You probably want me off-"
"No." His arms fasten even more around you. "I'm comfortable. Are you not?"
"N-No, I am. It's just... I wasn't sure if you wanted to keep me here for a whole other movie."
"I could keep you here longer than that, doll." He straightens his posture and readjusts your position, so that he's not slouching and you're not leaning back uncomfortably. He can feel the tension surface on your body as you go rigid in his hold. He can't help but let out a small laugh at how this detail never ceases with you. "Relax, baby. What's got you so nervous?" He rests his chin on your shoulder and turns to get a better look at your face. "Hm?" He plants a chaste kiss to your temple.
"Nothing, I guess. We're just watching movies," you say, more as a reminder for yourself.
"Mhm. Watching movies... on the verge of cuddling..." he mumbles, into your neck. "Nothing to be nervous about."
His hands splay over your lower abdomen and you think he might be caressing your skin so sensually to mess with you after having said all those things to comfort you, but he's not relenting on the joke. He's kissing your shoulder, aiming to relieve you of some of your anxiety so that your body can melt into comfort. It has some effect on you, your nerves being mixed with something hot, now.
"We can do more than cuddling, if you want," he hums, grinning at the way you shudder. "You know, i've been dying to hear that pretty voice of yours."
"What?" you say, laughing nervously, like you misheard him.
"You've got a really nice voice, baby. I swear, I could listen to you talk, endlessly. Wish you would use it when I take you to bed. You don't make a peep, doll."
You go silent. Not because you're upset with him, or because what he said isn't true, but because you can't think of how to respond to that. You didn't think he was monitoring the sounds you make. He never said anything about it before. You figured maybe he preferred the silence.
"It's embarrassing..." you finally mumble, quickly turning around to right what may have come out wrong. "F-For me! Just me. You're fine to make all the sound you want. It's... it's just me." You turn back around to hide the flush of embarrassment on your cheeks.
"Why is it embarrassing? Am I not making you feel good enough?"
You can't let him feel that way.
"No, Toji- That's not- No, no, no. That's not the case, at all." You unwind his arms from your torso and turn to face him. You fully sit on his lap, and though the eye contact that comes after you wrap your legs around him was like having three cups of coffee on an empty stomach for your heart, you summed up the courage because it's not fair to let him think that way when it's the exact opposite. "I just..." you let out a small sigh. "I don't wanna be loud. I don't want you to hear me. God... I can barely even look at you when we... you know." You look down at where your hands absentmindedly rested on his stomach. "Sorry."
He's just smiling at you because he finds your entire existence beside him to be endearing. His hands go to yours. "I get to stare at your pretty face the entire time." He grins, watching the way your cheeks burn and how you try to distract yourself from his gaze by fidgeting with his hands. "You always look so good, ma. Bet you sound just as pretty."
There was so much tension in the silence that followed. He started playing with your hands. He would interlock his fingers with yours before slowly detangling your hands and repeating the process, flipping your hands this time. He got to feel the smoothness of your unpainted nails on the pads of his fingers, and he traced the lines etched into your palms.
Things got out of hand. One minute you were holding hands and laughing to yourselves with thoughts of how silly yet necessary the moment was, the next you were both undressing, and kissing like you missed each other terribly. He has his hands on your hips, guiding you up and down his cock while you hide your face in the crook of his neck. He's groaning and panting at the feeling of your velvety walls hugging him so tightly, and you just release little breaths into his neck, occasionally gasping when he hits a sensitive spot, as per usual.
"Baby," he pants, "let me hear you. Give me those pretty sounds."
"G-Gonna cum," you whisper, your breath becoming heavier with every upwards thrust of his hips.
"Not if you don't let me hear you."
He can feel you clenching around him more frequently. It's a telltale sign of your orgasm rolling in, so he immediately stops. Both of you are unsatisfied, but Toji can handle it for as long as it takes you to make a sound that isn't just your breathing. He can tell you want to, too, with the occasional squeaks that leave you.
"I-I was gonna-"
"And I meant what I said." He's just as edged and frustrated as you are. Despite not getting the sounds he wants from you so easily, you're still make him feel really good. Your touch, the skin-to-skin of you clinging onto him—it's enough to bring him towards the edge as well, and it takes every ounce of restraint for him to stop. He squeezes your waist when he sees the look of helpless desperation on your face. "You know I have all the patience when it comes to you, doll. We can do this all night. I just wanna know—audibly—that I'm making you feel as good as you say I am. Alright?"
You sigh, but nod in understanding.
"Good. Let's try that again."
Despite your gesture of comprehension, you're doing the same thing all over again. You're feeling good, you're comfortable and Toji sounds immensely hot as he continues to drive you up and down his length. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, your face once again buried into the crook of it. All that can be heard from you is your breathing, the warm air fanning over his already heated skin.
"Doll," he calls, feeling the way you mouth at his shoulder and neck.
"Please, just a little longer. Please," you murmur, feeling that spike in pleasure return again.
"Doll, you're not..." he groans. He knows he has to stop or you'll get what you want, and what he wants will be pushed aside. "You're not letting me hear your pretty voice."
"Please, please, please, Toji. I-I'm right there..."
"Uh-uh." With heavy hands weighing down your hips like cinder blocks, you're once again denied of that weakening force of pleasure.
"T-Toji," you utter, weakly. You drag your face down to his chest, and allow all the heavy breaths of the forceful stop to come out. Your cunt is throbbing, viciously. You're aching for more of him.
The man who usually caved to your every want and put your needs before everything, was suddenly being incredibly selfish with your pleasure, stopping every time you say you're close. You think you can find a way around it by just not warning him, but he knows your body like the back of his hand. He knows every one of the signs that come with your orgasms, making it pointless for you to try to evade his torture. He's done it to the point where you feel like mush, sluggishly lying against him.
"Look at me, doll. Lift your head."
"Mm-mm." You shake your head against his shoulder.
"Be good." He chuckles at your stubbornness and allows a hand to rest on your lower back. "I'm trying to give you what you want, so would you just look at me."
You sigh, before you start peeling yourself, little by little, off of him.
He immediately notices the involuntary lift of your lips. "Ooh, look at that pout. Could've just told me you wanted a kiss, doll." He smirks, watching as you turn your head slightly to hide the scorch on your cheeks. It's not the main thing you wanted, but you weren't mad when he did pull you in for a kiss, because he started moving his hips again, the pace slow as your lips remained locked. That slow pace was how every one of these torturous cycles started out, but this time it was different. It was now harder to get what you wanted.
"Eyes on me, baby, or I stop."
"I can't- Please, Toji." You want to bury your face in the crook of his neck, again. You want to hide yourself from those eyes of his that never fail to make you feel vulnerable.
"Eyes on me... or I stop," he repeats, calmly, as if enduring all of these stops is such a simple task for both of you. You look at him, and immediately feel like you're being swallowed whole. You feel like he's eating you alive with just his gaze. The sweat beading on his forehead, the tint of color on his cheeks, the lust that simmers in his eyes… it's an insane visual. It's overwhelming.
He sees it, though. The way you try to still your bottom lip as it quivers, the way your chest spasms from holding it all in, your pleading eyes. It's all so... you. So fragile, so timid, so small. So beautiful.
"Good girl. Yeah... just look at me," he instructs, and you whimper. Your gaze falls to his chest as embarrassment floods you at light speed. Your hands reach out for him like they do when you're ready to wrap your arms around him again, but he intercepts them. The brief noise homed into Toji's ears, and rushed straight down to his dick. He can't afford to be deprived of your facial expressions when he now knows what your pretty voice sounds like when it's laced with need. "Fuck... again. Do it again, princess. I heard that loud and clear."
"P-Please. Please, let me go back." You test the strength of his grip, twisting your wrists in his hold. He responds by pushing your arms behind you, the edge of his palms grazing your lower back with every bounce of you on his cock.
"What did I say, baby? Huh? Lift your head and look at me." When you refuse to listen and keep staring at his chest, he decides to give you a countdown for when he's going to stop. "Three..."
"No! Okay, okay," you say, complying with lifting your gaze. Your pleasure skyrockets when you make eye contact with him. He gives you a little smirk, like he's proud of you for showing him that you'll always be good for him, even if you're stubborn about it.
"Shit, mama. You feel so fucking good. Might just cum before you, if you keep this up."
You moan at the threat and bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from looking away again. Every sound you let slip makes Toji pick up the pace of his thrusts. They're always precise, so with the speed rising, you think you might catch up to his pleasure. "Please, Toji. Please." The second plead comes out as a whine. "Please, i'm... um..." you hum, shutting your eyes briefly at the sensation of him prodding your sensitive spot again and again. "I'm..." Another whimper slips out.
"Yeah?" He murmurs, watching you struggle to finish your thought, through lidded eyes. "Get it out. All of it."
You're cracking. Your little moans are becoming more and more audible. "I'm trying." You gasp, the breath coming out shaky.
Toji is devouring all of it. His focus is unbreakable, and his thoughts of you are greedy. He wants more than what you're giving him. He wants you to be louder, he wants you to scream his name, he wants to make you cum so hard that you let go of all that embarrassment and moan freely for him.
He removes one of his hands from your wrists, keeping them restrained with his other hand, so that he can toy with your clit. The rush of pleasure makes you twitch above him, a sweet moan instantly released by you. You feel so flustered, you can't hold the sounds back as well as before. It's the unfaltering look he throws at you. He has no trouble holding eye contact with you.
He's obsessed with this show you're putting on for him. The way you're crumbling for him, slowly giving in and losing your tentativeness towards making sound. You remain overwhelmed by all of it. The heavy breathing, his groans, the rapid movement of his thrusts, his rough thumb stroking your clit, the way you're so lost in the pleasure of it all that you've become just as greedy as him, chasing even more stimulation by grinding your hips against him. It's a loud scene.
"T-Toji, Toji!" You gasp. "I'm- Oh!"
"Oh fuck. Cum," he growls. "Cum, pretty girl. Cum for-"
Your entire body is trembling on top of him. Loud cries fill the room as your orgasm washes over you, in the most unbelievably messy way. Toji is stunned, entirely speechless as he fucks you through this intense orgasm. Your back is arched in so much you think your spine might snap, and you can't for the life of you stop crying out his name. This is one of the most powerful orgasms he has pulled from you, if not the most powerful. Toji's lap is drenched, your ass and the backs of your thighs are wet. It's never happened this way before. Your mind is so clouded, you can't even think of what just happened.
Not even a minute later, Toji mirrors you in experiencing that feeling of pure ecstasy, heavy pants and groans released, carelessly, by him. His warm load is shot into you, adding on to the mess when it begins to drool out of you and down his length.
You're both breathless, left frozen in your positions for a good amount of time, while you think about what just happened. You come down from your blissful state first and can't even think to look at him. You pull your hands out of his weakened grip and rest them on your thighs and just stare at them until he says something. You don't know what to say, so you'll let him do the talking.
It was a heat of the moment type thing. Completely unexpected and he's shocked to say the least. It takes Toji a couple minutes himself to think of what to say, but ultimately, he thinks this is the best way to break the ice...
"You just squirted... all over me."
You don't even look up at him when he says that. You just might cry from the continuously skyrocketing level of embarrassment you're feeling.
"Do you have anything to say about it?" He asks, to which you just shake your head. He lets a couple seconds go by, just to add an unnecessary dramatic effect to the situation, before picking up the conversation again. "Well, good thing I have some things to say about it, pretty." He grins and wraps you up in his arms, allowing you to return to your safe space. "You know how much I love you, right?" He says, turning his head to look down at your face. You hum in response and nod against his shoulder. "And that I only pushed you so that you wouldn't hide your voice from me anymore?" You nod again. "Well, I was right." He smirks, thinking of how he got exactly what he wanted. "I'll leave it at that so you don't overheat on me."
He sighs, contentedly, at the feeling of you being so relaxed in his arms now, compared to before. "You did so well for me, mama," he says, before pressing multiple kisses to your head.
There's a beat of silence. Toji can't stop thinking of that spontaneous moment. It's stuck on loop in his head. It's not convenient in this moment, since you're cockwarming him, but before you know it, he's half hard inside you again.
"You think I can make you do it on purpose, this time?"
#toji#toji fushiguro#toji smut#toji x y/n#toji x you#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x y/n#jjk toji#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jjk scenarios#jjk x y/n#jujutsu toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji fluff#jujutsu kaisen fic#jjk drabbles#jjk fushiguro#❁ mal can talk ❁
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The teachers always said that you looked like a couple of grown-ups. The love that they expected from Bakugo to somebody else wasn't like the one that he gave you daily. They were stunned, to say the least. He became someone softer, someone who cared, someone who could stay quiet and just exist, not in loudly way.
The battle has just begun. You did your best trying to evacuate the town that was close to the hospital, and you were tired, strained just like your other classmates, Izuku, Ochaco, and Shoto.
The heroes set up multiple campaign tents to refuge the people and the heroes as well. They didn't have any news about what happened in Jaku but you could guess.
"You okay?" He said sitting beside you. Putting his arm behind your shoulders so you can lean on him.
"I'm tired and still shocked," you answered, looking around you. People running, trying to communicate with the other teams and with their relatives too. It was a mess. "We could've die"
"But we didn't," he shrugged simply. He was like that, the rock that grounded you to the earth when you tended to be emotional. "I'll never let anything happen to you, y'know"
"I know," you whispered, trying to restrain the tears that pricked in your eyes. "It's just... I'm scared that I'll lose you"
"Hah? What do you mean?" He elevated his voice just an octave to prove his points. He wanted to be loud, but the circumstances weren't very propitious.
"I know you, you say a lot that you don't care, but you do, and I'm afraid that you trying to save everyone is going to end up in you being hurt" you whispered, like you were telling a secret to him. "I'm so used to you. Please don't do anything stupid that will end up in you leaving me"
Being in a relationship with Bakugo was more easy than you could believe, but it wasn't a walk in the park either. He didn't do emotions so well, and even if you did, you didn't show them often to not make him uncomfortable. But right now, you were dying to tell him everything and get it off of your chest.
After a long silence, you looked at him. His arm pressed tightly in your back. He was looking to nothing, passed the forest, just staring and thinking. You were everything to him, and it was unfair that both of you had to have this conversation so early in your life, damn you were only seventeen.
"I promise that nothing is going to happen to me or you, I'll always be here to protect you and keep you safe"
He looked directly to your eyes and pulled you tightly to his side. He wanted you to know that he meant it, every word. He would keep you safe and be safe just so you can't suffer.
"I love you, Katsuki," you said tearing up a little.
He rolled his eyes when he saw that little tear spilled from your right eye.
"Yeah, yeah, I love you too, brat." he cleaned the stain from the tear of your face and reached something behind himself. "Got you soup, I bet you haven't eaten"
"Thanks," you said, taking it from his hand.
The silence between the two of you was pretty comfortable. You enjoyed the company of each other more than you could ever expect, the quietness, you wouldn't even imagine it from the loudest of your classmates.
"I can't die," he said out of nothing. You glanced at him with a lifted brow. "Who's going to take care of you? Shitty hair? Fucking Deku? No way, I'm not leaving your side".
You laughed at him while shaking your head, he was something else.
"You still got concrete on your face," you pointed out while taking a spoon of soup.
"Can you believe that a group of old hags tried to take it off with their wet fingers?" He said with disgust all over his face.
"Wet with...
"Saliva" he stated looking at you with big eyes.
"Ew," you said, shrieking with laughter. "Let me do it for you"
You wet your finger, and he let you willingly. After you smudged the concrete out of his face, you sealed it with a loud kiss in his cheek.
"Y'know what I think of PDA," he quirked a brow at you.
"And you know what I think of what you think"
You answered, kissing him all over his face to prove your point. He gave up after a few kisses, kissing you back.
Do not edit or reupload my works elsewhere! All rights reserved.
#bnha bakugou#bakugou smut#bakugo smut#bakugo x reader#bakugo headcanons#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugou#mha bakugo katsuki#mha x reader#mha bakugou#mha#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero academia#bnha
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𝕾𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖌𝖌𝖑𝖊𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓
pairing: Alastor x fem!doe Reader
summary: Mating season has it’s struggles and it affects Y/N the most.
warning: no smut yet(sorryyy), talks of sex and heat, mostly fluff and Alastor being a sweetie
It has a part 2 :)
Everyone, except one person from the Hotel, was in the parlor, having coffee and just eating breakfast.
Y/N had locked herself in her room, only coming out for a few minutes to gather herself food for the whole day and to let everyone know that she was okay.
“No, but really… What the fuck is up with her?” Asked Angel.
“It’s that time of the year for deers, it’s called mating season, I looked it up.” Charlie said, before, she was worried about her so she found a book about it and learnt about it.
“Oohhh, so our doe is horny? It’s a mood, honestly.” Angel instantly got into his flirty voice and he turned to Husk “Don’t whiskers gets heats? Mmmh… We could satisfy it together!” He leaned more into him, but he only got shoved off.
“Fuck off!”
For the first time that morning, Alastor decided to speak. “It’s more than sexual feelings.” All heads turned to him in question, so he continued. “Female deers are overwhelmed by their maternal instincts, their whole bodies are aching to take care of their own little fawns.”
Vaggie spoke. “So, she is pregnant?”
“AWWW—-“ Charlie’s eyes turned big and teary.
Alastor chuckled in response. “Heavens no! This is where the sexual instincts slip in—“
“Slip in?” Angel raised his brow suggestively, but got a flick to the head, by Husk again.
“Ha.ha.ha. No. Whether she mates or not, her body still feels the need to mother.”
“That’s why she is curled up all day in that big pile of blankets?” Vaggie asked and both Charlie and Alastor nodded in unison.
“She also put on some weight too? Don’t get me wrong, it’s sexy. Her thighs are so plushy and her ass and ti—-“
“Yes, she gains weight in case she needs to feed a fawn and keep it warm during the cold season.”
There was a bit of comfortable silence before… guess who spoke up again.
“Hold on a second.” Angel perked his head up. “Aren’t you supposed to be in heat too? You’re a deer, too.”
All heads turned to Alastor, who didn’t show how uncomfortable he felt. He only chuckled with a wide smile, but before he could have brushed it off, the missing doe entered the parlor.
“Good morning!” All kinds of greetings were heard. She sat down on the couch.
“How are you today?” Husk asked her.
She smiled. “I’m okay, thank you. I am just going out, I have to stock up on my sweets, I’ve ran out. Anyway… I’m just goi—“ She started to make her way to the door, but Alastor appeared in front of her.
“Like hell you are! It’s dangerous out there for you.” He leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear. “You wouldn’t want any bucks catching your scent and doing… heaven knows what.”
“B-but I need my sweets.” She huffed.
Alastor just stroked her ears. “Don’t you worry, doe, I’ll go out and get them for you.”
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly ask that.” Their faces were inches away, completely oblivious that all eyes were on them and all lips were smirking their way.
“Nonsense! You just go back to your nest, lock the door and I will be there in a bit, with all you could need.” When he finished his sentence, he was already out the door.
She turned around, she needed to get back, every nerve in her body was on the edge.
When both deers were gone, Angel spoke again.
“What the fuck did I just witness?!”
“Her body acknowledged that a buck gave her commands, so she must comply.” Charlie said, with a smug undertone in her voice.
Everyone scaterred after that, only Husk and Angel were at the bar, sipping on their usual strong liquor.
“So… Creepy face is in heat too.”
Husk stopped the cleaning of the glasses to laugh.
“Exactly.”
“So, a fawn running around the hotel is not too far way in time, is it?” His fingers glided around the rim of the glass.
“If it’s up to Alastor, it will be even sooner.”
#alastor x y/n#alastor x reader#alastor smut#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel fanfic#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel fluff#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel#alastor x you#alastor fanfic#alastor fanfiction#alastor fluff#alastor#alastor altruist
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Omfg I need like early on in the relationship between Hugh and marvel!reader where their relationship isn’t public and their papparazzi of them on set together coz they’re visiting eachother and everyone’s thinking xmen X mcu when in reality it’s just them together dating
no spoilers! | hugh jackman
an: ok since their first son was born in 2000 (it’s canon idk what date but it’s canon now lol) and the mcu started in 2008 I’m going to change a few things JUST TINY THINGS like the mcu being in development early on and marvel actress!reader being casted in the early 2000s. does that make sense?? idk this is fanfiction
2005
Getting a call from Marvel was something you never expected. Like many people, you grew up reading the comics and watching the tv shows. But now you had the chance of a lifetime. You were being offered a role in the first movie in the Marvel cinematic universe.
After having a meeting with the marvel executives and your manager, you were asked to keep the news of your casting a secret. The media was already wondering who was going to portray what heroes on the big screen and your name was being thrown around.
While your relationship was still a secret, you often visited Hugh on set of X-Men with Alex and Reese. You tried to keep your little family from the media as much a possible. You would watch Hugh get into his costume and do his stunts. You were always amazed at how much fun it would be to portray a superhero and now you were finally going to be able to.
A few months after you met with Marvel, you found out you were pregnant with your third baby. A girl. Thankfully you weren’t set to film yet since the film was still in development. When it was finally time to film ‘Iron Man’, you were more than ready. Your kids were a bit older so they finally got to watch you beat up bad guys like their dad did.
It was during the filming of ‘Iron Man 2’ when your secret was finally revealed to the world. You didn’t really know how it even happened . . . Your guess was that paparazzi somehow snuck in. Hugh was always careful when visiting you on set. Rumors were already circulating on the internet about a potential X-Men and Avengers team up. It didn’t help that Hugh was sporting his signature Wolverine hair when he visited the set. At least the kids weren’t with you.
“You look much better than me,” Hugh looked at your costume. He couldn’t stop staring, it was starting to make you weak in the knees. “at least you get comfortable suits. Remember the black suits from X-Men? The most uncomfortable shit ever.”
“The kids thought you looked cool.” You reminded him.
“Okay, that makes me feel better.”
As you and Hugh talked, some paparazzi were secretly taking photos. All they could think about was how well they were going to get paid for the exclusive photos. The X-Men joining the mcu? That was big news!
When the photos were published on every magazine, you couldn’t help but laugh. What a way to reveal your relationship. You definitely didn’t want to share the news this way, but you also didn’t want to lose your job.
“Maybe in a few years it’ll come true. You, me, X-Men and the Avengers.” He told you, giving you your morning coffee. The kids were still sleeping so you and Hugh took advantage of the quiet morning. You set the magazine down on the table and drank the coffee.
“It would be nice. Imagine what the kids will think. Mom and dad beating up the bad guys together,” you smiled at him. He took the opportunity to give you a kiss. As he pulled away, you whispered to him. “or it could be me kicking the wolverine’s ass.”
You and Hugh’s characters wouldn’t share the screen until 2024 when Deadpool & Wolverine premiered. Your kids were more than excited to see their parents fighting together.
@kellyxo1 @barnes70stark @ru-kru @flyestvenustrap @evasmlp
#marvel actress!reader#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman one shot#hugh jackman imagine#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman#actress!reader#marvel fanfiction#marvel x reader
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