#uncomfortable and feels wrong
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jabeur · 2 months ago
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can't sleep
#slept terribly last night can i please get some rest. please#coworker misgendered me yday and i think this guy rly dislikes me. it's mutual but i have reasons that are not shitty#my reasons = he misgenders me and gives me the creep#his reasons = ? i'm trans ? he's a weirdo and not in a good way ?#but now i keep thinking abt it and abt how lots of ppl assume i'm a woman#that doesn't feel nice especially after years on t. like mostly i've made my peace with it it's whatever i'm not a very masculine person#and i don't even want to be#but sometimes i wish i could wear nail polish and talk the way i talk and have the mannerisms i have and all that without ppl thinking i'm#a woman. like i'm not. i'm not fucking anything please stop assigning me genders#it's so frustrating being nonbinary sometimes. even the least uncomfortable of the binary options ppl insist on labeling me with is#uncomfortable and feels wrong#and i know. i know. this is just how the world works. ppl assume you're one or the other. i have to deal with it#and i do mostly but sometimes i get so frustrated by it bc it's just. it hurts me that it's this way and it feels so constrictive#also my mum misgendered me too today and she didn't even correct herself so that was the nail in the coffin of my feeling bad#man it's been almost exactly 8 years since i came out to her (it was on coming out day)#i can't believe she can't try a little harder#maybe i want too much bc things are better than they were but is it really too much to ask that she stops misgendering me altogether#then again talking about trans things with her has never gotten less uncomfortable so i guess she's just. never going to be truly#comfortable with my transness and i can only be grateful things are better and not ask for more#that sucks tho. i know many have it worse but i'm just tired#strangers misgender me my family misgenders me coworkers misgender me too sometimes like. when can i stop living with the woman label#forcibly put on me. i don't want it. there's nothing wrong with it but it's NOT me so i don't fucking want it#i'm sad. i don't want to feel like this forever
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keferon · 4 months ago
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
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#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they���re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read…..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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cuterefaction · 1 month ago
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Trektober Day 16 - Section 31. The Quadrant's best book club more or less summarises my feelings on the matter.
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blackbatcass · 7 months ago
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donna’s inherent honesty vs dick’s tendency to be manipulative.. speak to me
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eternalgirlscout · 4 months ago
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i guess it's all building castles in the air about a character who only appears in flashbacks but i don't really get interpretations that claim shou's mom ~abandoned~ him when "lost the equivalent of a nasty custody battle with her supervillain ex husband and went behind his back anyway to at least stay in touch with her kid" feels like the much more obvious conclusion to come to about that whole situation given his dad's line about not "letting" shou see her
anyway i can admit i'm biased because i think shou, 13-year-old who sees himself as a responsible adult, suddenly having to deal with a parent who actually wants to be in his life As A Parent is a hysterical dynamic. he moves in with her like "so what do i owe you for my part of rent" and she's like "shou 1) you are my middle school aged son and 2) i own the house." there's a thematic argument to be made obviously vis a vis mob psycho 100's insistence on showing you genre-typical kids carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and taking you by the chin and going "look. look. that's a child." but mostly i want to see shou ask his mom how they should revise the chore wheel he used with his adult lackeys to be fair for two people and her mentally screech to a halt and think maybe her plan to give him an allowance in case he wants to see a movie or something is not the biggest issue they need to deal with
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theshinysnivy1 · 1 year ago
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wandixx · 16 days ago
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Ok it closes out on me when I tried typing it the first time-
Anyway, I'm a sucker for shock value ones, just so funny to me, so how about M'gann being nervous about introducing bf danny and it happens at an inconvenient time! Could go ghost royalty, ancient of space or anything, hell ghost as dragons would be pretty funny, up to you though!
I'm not sure if I did a good job at this, but I didn't want you to wait too long and real life is keepimg me busier than expected, so for now, it's here. I may continue it one day (I also have different version of fill for this prompt, because neither idea felt right, so if you'd like to see I too, just let me know whatever way is most convenient to you)
This wasn't supposed to happen like that. M'gann didn't have a super detailed plan on how it was supposed to happen, but even her vague (thought and rethought every night) ideas were anything but this. It was supposed to be a calm, low-stakes situation. Maybe even make it look like an accidental meeting, Team in civies hanging out around Happy Harbour, bumping into Danny and then she'd just introduced him, perhaps adding ‘btw, he is my boyfriend’ almost like an afterthought. This seemed like the best possible scenario.
This was also, as expected with the way hero life is, the exact opposite of what actually happened.
Of course, it didn’t start with anything heralding the absolute disaster this day had to become. Kinda accidentally the Team stumbled upon something between a cave and a basement, and in it a group of people, who decided to perform a summoning of a genie so they could… wish for stuff. They didn’t even look like cultists or villains of any sort, just a group of random adults from seemingly very different backgrounds. M’gann had a really hard time understanding what actually brought them together other than their wishes.
Which was actually pretty useful when it came to fighting them, because nobody really cared about their fellow summoner, just trying to save their own butt. She kinda wished more of their opponents were so incompetent.
Though, she spoke too soon because in the excitement of the fight, somehow all of them didn’t realize that one or two of the summoners… actually managed to finish a summoning. It was honestly a little bit embarrassing.
But, it was too late to dwell on all that, as right above the summoning circle appeared a circle in a worryingly familiar shade of green.
Of course, this one time she didn’t have any equipment from Danny, had to be when the Team encountered a ghost.
Ghost in question was a beautiful woman, with long hair covering one of her eyes, in a blue outfit that was related to one of Earth cultures, but M’gann didn’t know which, and a bunch of bracelets on her wrists. Martian could make a hazard guess on who it was, based on the stories Danny told her.
“We don’t have time for explanations, I think I know who this is, if I’m right for the love of everything that’s dear to you, don’t say the word ‘wish’ out loud” she demanded over the Mindlink.
Before she finished, Artemis took silver tape from somewhere and slapped a piece of it over Wally’s mouth. M’gann understood the sentiment but still… it was a little bit too nuclear option.
Desiree (if it was her) didn’t attack anyone, looking a bit confused, giving Team a moment of reprieve to plan and for Kid Flash to make sure none of the summoners could make whatever wish they wanted either. Also with the use of silver tape. Djinn’s were always tricky.
M'gann used this moment of everyone getting their bearings to curse herself for not bringing any ghost weapons this time. Any other mission, Team or not, she had something on her but today? Today she had nothing.
Excluding the summoning engraved into clips holding her cape but it was kinda last resort. It wouldn't annihilate everything in one mile radius or something but she didn't want to drag Danny there if he was during a test, other ghost fight or something. She knew better than anyone that he didn’t need more distractions.
Conner crashed into a wall right next to her. Artemis seemed to lose her cool when none of her arrows seemed to reach the ghost while Robin was trying to make some counter plans with Kaldur. They couldn't do a thing to Desiree and it was a matter of seconds before she stopped entertaining them and went to the city. It… would end badly, most likely. Danny would prefer to get involved before it got that far. Yeah…
She really wished she didn’t have to call.
“I have an idea, cover for me for a minute or two”
“Bold of you to assume we can stop her from anything”
“I believe in you Wally. Just distract her”
“My water attacks seem to be effective weapon against her”
“That’s aster! What do you plan to do, M'gann?”
“Summon another ghost”
She expertly ignored yelling that followed, taking the golden clip off of her cape. She held fabric in place with absentminded use of telekinesis, while she focused on an engraved pattern. Danny's summoning circle wasn't actually too complicated or intricate but she needed to do it just right. And frankly, she just liked looking at it. Physical proof that her boyfriend would be there if she needed it. Drawn representation of who he is, the deepest and truest parts of his soul written in the language that only Universe itself could fully understand.
And it was beautiful. Absolutely incredible. Much better than Desiree's circle, thank you very much.
M’gann dropped to her knees and grabbed leftover chalk from previous summoning and crouched to quickly draw Danny's seal. She had a lot of practice from all the times she doodled it on a whim just to get something of him with her when she missed him the most. She rarely actually summoned him, again, it was difficult to align their schedules, but she was very familiar with the first step.
And it was really easy from there.
She placed the clip in the middle of the circle, shapeshifted one of her nails to get a bit of blood on the chalk and leaned back.
After a careful, deep breath, she started an incantation, putting as much power in her voice as she could.
“I call upon you guard of Amity Park, I call upon you dearest child of the Ice, I call upon you one favored by the Time, I call upon you vanquisher of the Fear, I call upon you subduer of the King, I call upon you defender and the guide, I call upon Phantom, both worlds beloved child”
Circle erupted in green light, putting a momentary pause to the fight. M’gann was still blinking spots away when a figure flung itself out of the summoning circle, right at the Desiree.
“What the fuck?!”
Only after the first punch was thrown did Danny turn back to her, with his usual, somehow both gallant and bashful smile, that without fault made her knees get a little weaker. She smiled back.
“Hello Starlight” he greeted, sounding almost casual.
“Starlight?”
“Hi Angel. Nice of you to drop by” she answered in the same manner. Wally tried to yell from behind the duck tape.
“Angel?! M'gann, who is he? Who is she?!”
“I will always come if you call” he said without any doubt, suddenly as serious as if he was sharing information that could break or make the world.
It certainly worked like that to her world. She actually melted a little on the inside.
“I know”
“Actually, that's kinda cute. I still have no idea who this is, but you go girl”
“I feel like it's not the right time Artemis”
“Not to interrupt… whatever this is, but the other ghost is escaping” Robin cut in “Also, if you want to make out afterwards, please find the room, Batman and Catwoman are traumatizing enough“
Few people snorted, while Danny blushed green. He darted back at Desiree, clearly to escape the embarrassment. M’gann stood up, totally at ease now, that he was there to take care of it.
“Will you need a hand? I don't have any tech but we have a trick or two up our sleeves!” she asked, projecting her voice so it carried through the cavernous basement without yelling.
“I'm good for now but thanks for asking!”
“M’gann, can you give us anything substantial? Who is this? How do you know him?”
“One question at the time and let's wait until he finishes, okay?“
She cut off Mindlink before anyone agreed or protested.
“Miss Martian!”
“Soup time!”
With a blast of light, Desiree got sucked in and Danny landed in front of them with a proud grin.
“My job here is done”
“It truly is. You're getting faster too”
“And thanks to who is that?”
“You”
Danny sent her both an incredulous and playful glare.
“Of course. I miraculously found a ways to not be a mess and don't crash through every wall on my way and–”
“Well, no but–”
“Let me remind you, you're not alone… also who are you dude? And where did the other lady go?” Wally asked, right after ripping the duct tape off his mouth.
“Oh, well, I'm Phantom, I usually work in Amity Park?” he said a bit unsure, as if calling him a protector was under any question. That just wouldn't do.
“He's a hero from Amity Park”
“Thanks love. It's nice to finally meet you all. M talked a lot about you!”
“Can't say same about you, sorry”
“That's fine. I know M was agonizing over how to introduce me in the best way possible. I'm really happy it's finally over,” he paused for a moment, with his brows furrowed “Did I do good? This first impression thing?”
“You're… far less imposing that I personally expected after hearing Miss Martian summoning you, but–”
“M’gann how could you hide this from us?” Conner blurted out quietly, and oh, he sounded so utterly crushed. Everyone fell silent, the playful atmosphere gone as if it had evaporated.
“I never intentionally hid it. It wasn't significant enough to mention at the start and when it became important I felt like I couldn't just drop it at you during lunch or something. I always planned to tell you, there was just never the right time nor right words. I never wanted to hide it.”
“Even just me?”
“Especially you”
“You still should've…”
“Yeah, I should. I'm sorry”
“How long ago have you met?”
“Half a year ago,” Danny said before she managed to answer “It's all kinda my fault actually. I was really set on not getting mixed up with more hero business than I had to back then. I didn't want you or Justice League finding out about me. And when I agreed, it was already really late. I'm sure she'd told you all from the get go if I let her, I'm sorry”
“Why wouldn't you want us to know about you?”
“It's… Probably not the conversation we should have right here, over gagged wannabe cultists.”
“Valid. Let's call the cops and get going. You two have much to explain”
“And you're sitting eight feet apart until you do!”
Danny leaned in to kiss her, quick and playful, before he jumped back at the demanded distance.
“Well, this still went better than at your side”
“Absolutely”
*******
Also, here is some lil arts for a longish wait, sorry again, I hope this story is yours to your expectations
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royaltea000 · 1 month ago
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Got so mad seeing a forced marriage plot for the 20th time that I got up to draw a design specifically to put a veil on him
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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some Friendly Maintenance scribbles i forgot to post!
#(the paint he's touchin up home with is the wrong color <3 neither of them can tell <3)#but yeah yayyyyyy stitchin up friends! woohoo!#i would like to state! in this au the puppets Do Not Feel Pain the way we do!#at worst its like... intense pins & needles + sorta nausea + static but a Physical Feeling etc etc#its deeply uncomfortable and feels really fucking weird! but not painful!#but for a puppet who's never really experienced it... they may react the same as a person would to pain#is this based off of my lil theory that in canon they Do Not Feel Pain At All? yeah lol#but anyway! patchin up friends is a love language!#scribble salad#wh lights out au#tw stitches#tw body horror#(mild but i think it counts)#(also for anyone wondering - howdy had a close call with sally. he got slashed! hes fine!)#(wally just has to kinda... shove the stuffing back in and then sew the gash shut. easy slices!)#(putting the stuffing back in is the worst part. it feels... not great! like i said - not painful - but not great at all!)#(howdy is employing all of his willpower to stay put and not scramble away from the unpleasant sensation!)#i have this whole mental Mechanic for what certain things feel like when it comes to maintenance on the puppets#like reattaching limbs or stuffing falling out etc#ALSO RARE TWO-EYED WALLY CAMEO 🚨#oh and#RARE AWAKE BARNABY CAMEO 🚨🚨#(just his arm but yk. hes up!)#(and they saved a large candle for the occasion of reattaching his arm!)#(wally is so happy...)
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nebulaedaniel · 5 months ago
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since we’re now talking about the racism in the phandom, i’m very glad it’s being brought to light so thank you to @dapg-otmebytheballs @demonqueenart and everyone else talking about this, i want to talk about cancel culture.
now i’m as white as they come, so before reading any of this i need you all to read the posts made by some of the people starting this conversation. here’s some links. xx xx xx xx xx
the reason i want to bring this up is because it’s something i noticed in a lot of the posts bringing up the behavior that dnp have/have had. its bizarre to me that we as a society, but especially we as a fandom, feel the need to disclose that bringing up problematic behavior isn’t an attack or call to ‘cancel’ someone!
to be able to have an open discussion where people CAN evolve and learn, bad behaviors need to be brought up without the immediate assumption that the person talking about it wants to bring harm to the other.
i am not here to defend dan and phil, they are well old enough to have these realizations on their own and stand for their actions, but, without the space to point out these behaviors, there will be no change. if these questions are being brought up within fandom spaces, why assume that the person means harm? excuse my metaphor but why would they set fire to their own house? i can understand wanting to take something with a grain of salt if it was coming from someone not in the fandom spaces at all, or someone not familiar with dan and phil whatsoever, but since it is the fans bringing this up, the absolute least you can do is believe them and listen.
wanting to see change is far from the same as wanting to see someone ‘canceled’ or lose their platform. these discussions are good and important to have, and i want to again thank everyone who has taken time of their days to speak up about this. it’s labor you shouldn’t have to do, and i really hope that we as a fandom learn from this. i know i will.
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sciderman · 3 months ago
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and water is wet
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buddiebitch · 7 months ago
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WHY are BT shippers so vehemently against actually analyzing the symbolism and choices made for this show?
i mean i saw multiple people saying we were overthinking the vertigo poster. they were saying that it was weird to assume that Buck would fill the pining best friend role that Midge did in the original movie??? (haven’t seen the movie, i just read a few synopses)
i’m sorry, so you agree that he put Ryan Guzman in the main character and Devin Kelley as the love interest because they’ll fill those roles in the storyline, but we’re overthinking when we point out what role he put Oliver Stark in?
or when i bring up the possible symbolism of Tommy always calling him Evan, the only response i get from BT stans is “well he would tell him if he didn’t like it” or “i think it’s because he was introduced that way and that’s why” or even “i think he probably likes that Tommy calls him Evan” (all real responses i saw) and it’s like, yeah that’s cool, those are great headcanons for you, but that actually isn’t what i was talking about. nothing wrong with having a headcanon, but it doesn’t explain anything about the show or answer any of my questions.
i mean in s4 he corrected his PARENTS and told them his name was Buck, and in s6 it was used to emphasize the strangeness of his coma dream, how everyone was calling him Evan, the whole show him being called Evan has almost always been used to emphasize that someone doesn’t know him very well, how are y’all convinced that it’ll mean something different this time? i get that some people think it’s supposed to be growth, that he’s cool with being called his first name, but if that’s the goal it definitely isn’t reading that way to me.
like i wish i could see things through the same lens as these people so it could make sense to me, i just don’t get how you can willfully ignore SO many hints just so you can ship what you want.
no hate to the ship or the shippers obviously, i’m just baffled by the lengths they’ll go to in order to convince themselves that plot device man is endgame for Buck.
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thecatinthepurplepants · 2 years ago
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just had the though of John and Arthur having one of them 3 am talks and discussing what it's like to live in a human body and John doesn't quite grasp not being aware of all your various parts and organs all the time and Arthur has to explain that humans CAN be aware of certain things to an extent but thinking too hard about it or suddenly being made aware of it is VERY unpleasant
Cue John making a game of finding quiet moments when Arthur's least expecting it and just
"Hey Arthur?"
"Hm?"
"...Dont think about how your skin feels over your flesh."
Followed by Arthur fucking full body grimacing and yelling at John to "fucking STOP THAT" and John cackling like a baritone bog witch because no it never gets old even if he does it at LEAST once a week
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ineffable-romantics · 1 year ago
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Guys, it just occurred to me that they were on the wrong sides of each other for the kiss.
Crowley was on the left, and he's almost ALWAYS on the right. Aziraphale is on the right, and he is almost ALWAYS on the left.
All I'm saying is, if the s3 kiss happens with them switched back, I'm never shutting up about it.
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feelingtheaster99 · 8 months ago
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Gorgug getting so mad at people just being so incredibly, purposefully obtuse is wonderful
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gojoest · 1 month ago
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little update on my love life hsksjsk
i ghosted and then sb’ed the lawyer guy on ig bc turns out he’s friends with that one psycho man i met a few months ago. i think the latter i only mentioned meeting but never gave tea on the fallout here. it was all fun and games until it wasn’t. he basically tried to be alpha with me and i was not having it LOL but each time i blocked him in one place he found another means to reach me but his options were limited to begin with so eventually he gave up and stopped bothering me. but like, man. digging up all of my socials just to tell me things like “you’re so cold to me whenever we’re not together physically. far from the eye, far from the heart — is this your game?” was the last straw. NO SIR I AM A HORRID TEXTER i don’t play mind games 😭 i just kept blocking him without even bothering to give a reply, it probably pissed him off sm LOL which wasn’t my intention, i just thought there was no point in wasting my time and energy on a man like that, i didn’t even want to clear out the misunderstanding like hello i have a life and ur not my priority 😭 his petty male ego was def hurt, what a dick
so when i found out they were friends my brain went ultra dramatic, i thought maybe the lawyer guy was a setup from the very start and that it was a carefully crafted method by the psycho guy to approach me again. naturally i got paranoid and that story is now over, nothing weird’s happened after that, thankfully
and— you rmr the hq guy? yeah, we’re forced to keep a professional relationship rn bc he often visits the office for work related purposes. today he came. twice. first for work, and then — to bring me sweet treats 😭 out of the blue, like way after his business was done 😭 we hadn’t talked after what happened last time so what’s this now 😭 why can’t men read the room 😭
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