#meanwhile dick…… Does Not Do That

[blackbatcass]

donna’s inherent honesty vs dick’s tendency to be manipulative.. speak to me

[brionysea]

i see the potential for a dick and jason reverse robins au. jason staying on the good kid track from his childhood and being put on a pedestal despite still having so many issues, and then pre-teen dick grayson shows up; problem child, keeps running away from juvie and foster homes because he's lusting for murder, filled with rage and plastering a feral smile on top of it all--which jason can't even comprehend because he's so fundamentally authentic with his emotions at any given moment--and above all, making jason cry with laughter because of the look on bruce's face when he sees dick on the chandelier. it's perfectly backwards. i'm obsessed

[introspectivememories]

yknow the veil/kotteri image redraw meme? the one that's been going around on twt? now make it timber. bernard who goes on to be a famous model after grieves and does shoots all over the world. one day he does one for a gotham brand and he ends up plastered all over the city. now tim who has managed to miss all this just by virtue of being too busy being a vigilante and running wayne ent. steps out of his car one day and bam! directly across from wayne tower is this giant electronic billboard, displaying bear's new perfume ad. in it he's wearing a fur coat that's slipped down his shoulders to reveal the muscles rippling across his back. bernard looks over his shoulders and laughs, lips painted a pretty pink. the ad reads "all new scent 14 from beams: the scent of love. it's like burning" bernard winks coyly and tim is burning all right. rock hard in his too tight work pants.

[rosepetalsthings]

Tim deserves so much praise

Like his speech and inflections are just so Orin at the end it's uncanny. You can tell how fun he had doing it.

Also fun fact, you can't have Gale be kidnapped if you romance him. Coincidentally you also can't perma kill Yenna before this

[chamiryokuroi]

It hasn’t even been 6 months from grandpa’s death and one aunt is already planning to sell the terrenos (farm land) she got lmao I saw it coming but damn not even a year?

[weirdo-from-bonesborough]

I love how the bats are known for having a million gadgets and being overprepared for anything meanwhile dick doesn’t have pockets

[hood-ex]

Omg, don't let me start with this cuz I'm about to burn my city down completely istg. I felt SO ANNOYED while reading this issue, and I still pretty much am ---- not only because Bruce's done this to his SON, but because Jason is almost like cannon fodder at this point and that just upsets me. He doesn't deserve that, not even with all the things he's done in the past.

Right, but it's not Bruce who is doing this malicious thing to Jason, it's Zur (although there is the question that if Bruce created Zur, should he take responsibility for Zur's actions?). It's the backup personality Bruce "downloaded" into himself. The problem is that Zur is beyond Bruce's control now, and Bruce is compromised because of it. Although, we did see Bruce come to the surface when he threw a batarang to Dick to help him and Tim escape.

But, yeah, having Bruce be the one to do that to Jason (even though it's not technically Bruce) is disturbing. And Bruce has hurt Jason before, so that part isn't new, but this method feels particularly violating.

[clonerightsagenda]

Realized the 'shoot the gas line' bit of the Alien Minkowski AU is just me revisiting my perennial theme of why are there guns in space. It always comes back to that.

[one-winged-dirty-dreams]

Terra, sitting there remembering all the dirty shit he said to me while his stupid darkness-addled brain was being horny:

Me, thinking about all the dirty shit he said to me while his stupid darkness-addled brain was being horny:

[starburstgalexies]

i find it absolutely (potentially) hilarious that half of the sumeru polycule is absolutely smitten by aether while the other half couldn't possibly care less about him.

[homunculus-argument]

Reading fantasy again, I've started thinking about how odd it is how in books like that, the non-human races invariably scoff at human frailty and vulnerability, even those that they'll call friends. Like that's mean?? Why would you be a dick to your friend who you know is not capable of as much as you are, and it's not their fault they were born like that. That's mean.

Like consider the opposite: Characters of non-human races treating their human companions like frail little old dogs. Worrying about small wounds being fatal - humans die of small injuries all the time - or being surprised that humans can actually eat salt, even if they can't stomach other spicy rocks. Being amazed that a human friend they haven't seen in 10 years still looks so young, they've hardly aged at all! And when the human tries to explain that they weren't going to just unexpectedly shrivel into a raisin in 10 years, the longer-lifespan friend dismisses this like no, he's seen it happen, you don't see a human for 10 or 20 years and they've shriveled in a blink.

Elves arguing with each other like "you can't take her out there, she will die!" and when the human gets there to ask what they're talking about, they explain to her that the journey will take them through a passage where it's going to be sunny out there. Humans burn in the sun. And she will have to clarify that no, actually, she'll be fine. They fight her about it, until she manages to convince them that it's not like vampires - humans only burn a little bit in the sun, not all the way through. She'll be fine if she just wears a hat.

Meanwhile dwarves are reluctant to allow humans in their mines and cities, not just out of being secretive, but because they know that you cannot bring humans underground, they will go insane if they go too long without seeing the sun. Nobody is entirely sure how long that is, but the general consensus is three days. One time a human tries to explain their dwarf companion that this is not true, there are humans that endure much longer darkness than that. As a matter of fact, in the furthest habited corners of the lands of the Northmen, the winter sun barely rises at all. Humans can survive three weeks of darkness, and not just once, but every single year.

"Then how do they sane?" Asks the dwarf, and just as he does, the conversation gets interrupted by the northland human, who had been eavesdropping, and turns to look at them with an unnerving glint in her colourless grey eyes, grinning while saying

"That's the neat part, we don't."

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(rhetorical) now why is this billions characters & billions itself seeing quant kid 2 through the glass / winston across the room forevermore

[chiyana]

Tim tells the Batclan he's going on a space mission with Young Justice for a few weeks, he's got everything sorted civilian side and his cases and patrol routes covered, and also if any of his usual Rogue's Gallery suddenly comes looking for him don't worry about it.

And all of that is fine and normal - except that last part hey Tim what the fuck does that mean?

and Tim just goes it's fine don't worry about it anyway gotta go bye! and then he just bounces

and everything is fine until not even a day later when Babs forwards them a video Red Robin uploaded to his social medias that is a music video of him (Red Robin) seductively lip-syncing along to Chappell Roan's "My Kink is Karma" against a backdrop of fail compilation clips of several of the villains Tim has a particular grudge against, including Azrael, Lex Luthor, and most prominently Ra's al Ghul.

so there's Tim, in a form-fitting catsuit styled like his Red Robin costume, in heels, feeling himself up with a video clip in the background showing Ra's tripping on his own robes and face planting into the brickwork, evidence he dyes out some of the gray in his hair, his sash coming undone and pants falling off in the middle of a fight, trying to swipe the effects of a glitterbomb off of himself, etc.

It all ends with the Mean Girls clip of "why are you so obsessed with me?"

The video is immediately viral.

(There's some clips of Red Hood in there fucking up but Jason can't even be mad because he's laughing so hard he's gonna throw up)

Tim's Rogues absolutely DO show up to Gotham looking for him, and while they all want revenge, Red Robin is THEIR arch enemy like HELL are they going to work with these other embarrassments, so they all start fighting each other and it is absolutely CHAOS (Lex decides discretion is the better part of valor and makes a statement that no of course he has nothing against Red Robin he has no idea why he was included in that video haha yes of course it was Very Funny when a bird accidentally pooped on his head he is Very Capable of laughing at himself Thank You, and then he quietly goes to one of his vacation houses and moodily drinks for several days waiting for things to blow over)

Tim, meanwhile, is having a wonderful vacation with Young Justice, catching up with Lobo and Slobo, chasing down some space pirates, and just getting out of Gotham and away from his Rogues trying to challenge him/seduce him/kill him/whatever.

Bruce is taking the constant psychic damage of having the image of softcore Red Robin erotica burned into his brain along with the realization that way, way, WAY too many of Tim's Rogues want to sleep with him like an absolute champ. (Dick is not taking it like a champ, Dick is taking it like an unhinged vengeful wraith and has had to be benched for trying to tear out Ra's throat with his teeth.)

Stephanie is having the Time of Her Life. Damian cannot look anyone in the eye and absolutely cannot look Ra's (or his mother who ALSO showed up prominently in the video) in the face and is Not Having the Time of His Life.

(Jason is with Steph on this one, he is having SUCH a blast, this is so fucking hysterical)

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: Ugh, they're back again

Jazz: Don't make that face at paying customers. Do you want to make a portal back home?

Danny rolling his eyes: Yes

Jazz: Then we need to get enough money to buy the parts. If that means waiting tables at a barely legal dinner, where idiots hit on us, then we wait those stupid tables. Now go over there and get the Waynes to leave us a 200 tip.

Danny: Fine, but only if you do too!

Jazz: *Tighten her apron straps into an hourglass figure* Way ahead of you.

Danny: *Rolling eyes but does the same*

Meanwhile with the Waynes

Bruce: It's so nice to go out to eat with you all

Alfred: Indeed. It's a nice change, don't you agree, children?

Wayne kids: *hyperventilating*

Bruce Not looking up from his phone: The Fenton siblings?

Alfred: Indeed, sir. It seems like Master Dick, Master Jason, and Miss Cass are going to attempt to speak to Ms. Fenton today. Master Tim, Master Damian, Master Duke, and Miss Steph don't seem mentally ready to look Mister Fenton in the eye. Bets?

Bruce: Dick chokes on his fork again. Tim face plants on the table, and Steph once again speaks in gibberish after forgetting the entire English language.

Alfred: Very good, sir.

[unidentifiedgothamite]

duke: who do you guys think is bruce's favorite child?

jason: it's probably fingerstripes

dick: me?! it's obviously you, jay

tim: it's jason

steph: facts. b lets him get away with everything, including murder

cass: jason

damian: as much as i loathe to admit it, father does treat todd differently

jason: ya'll are trippin'

meanwhile...

clark: b, just curious, but, do you have a favorite child?

bruce: hn, what date is it?

clark: um, may 12th?

bruce: then it's batcow

clark: what

bruce: did i stutter?

[dorkszn]

......Logan fucking you face down ass up while smoking a cigar

FACE DOWN ASS UP THATS THE WAY I LIKE TO GET—

quick lil drabble, gn reader, heavy overstim, pain kink, dacryphilia, smoking, sadism and masochism elements, pet names, a little bit mean dom logan, nsfw under the cut, not proofread

He’s fucking you so mean too. His free hand wrap around the back of your neck, pushing your head down into the pillows. A ring of your mixed cum forming around his wide base. Your hands clutching at whatever you can. That perfect arch in your back that Logan practically molded into you. Tears glistening on your lashes because it’s just so much.

Meanwhile, Logan’s just taking puffs of his cigar. Blowing the smoke out of his lips and letting it fill your senses and intoxicate your (damn near turned to mush) brain. He basically taunting you with it. That you’re so fucked out and messed up while he’s just smoking and absolutely ruining you.

You’re weakly moving before you can think. Which you can barely do anyways. Trying to crawl away from him just for a second because it feels so good but you’re so sensitive it almost hurts. “Lo, can’t— ngh, can’t take it,” you moan out pathetically.

Only for him to grab your hips with both hands and pull you back to him with minimal effort. Stuffing you to the hilt with his cock and making your legs nearly give out under you. ��Yes, you can, darlin’. Stop tellin’ me what you can’t take.” He responds, words slightly muffled by the cigar between his lips. His words nearly push the tears over while making you tighten around him at the same time. The cigar almost falling from his lips as he groans due to the feeling off your warm walls hugging his dick.

What does finally make the tears spill from your glossy eyes is when he presses the butt of his cigar against your ass. And it’s entirely intentional. He watches as your skin reddens and burns slightly. Your words fall into weak, broken cries at the feeling but it also makes that knot in your stomach clench further.

“Shh, s’okay, sweetheart,” he says to you softly as he leans down, pressing his hairy chest into your back while pressing hot, open mouthed kisses down your skin. The sting of his cigar still prominent along with the stretch of his cock with every thrust. “S’okay, it looks pretty on ya.”