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mamacesawrites · 5 years ago

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The Duke of the Bay: Part 2

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First Part, Ao3 Link, Next Part

Warnings: Guns, threats, alcohol, homosexual slang used pejoratively and positively, internalized homophobia ask me to add any if need be

Chapter Word Count: 2875

Summary: Patton O’Hearty was a great detective. Most people didn’t take him for one at first glance, especially when he dressed casual. He was abnormally chipper; he thought everything was the cat’s pajamas. He had a smile for everyone he met. He was always tipping his hat at the dames and gents when he walked the streets of the Bay Area.

The only person he could never catch was the leader of the planted mob in Emeryville, nicknamed The Duke. The Duke was good at hiding his dealings and joints well, and he rarely had a snitch in his ranks. The few who tried, well, somehow they disappeared before they could give the police any substantial information. He was well hidden, but popular among the residents of the town. People talked boldly of his rambunctious parties, never revealing the locations though. He was hard to catch, to say the least.

So what happens, when instead, the detective is the one that’s caught?

Logan closed his eyes in frustration. “Damn it.”

“That’s no way to talk in the presence of young ladies,” Lola purred next to them.

Logan jumped, and glared at the girls. “I don’t think someone who goes to places like this and dances as provocatively as you counts as a lady.”

Patton shot Logan a warning glance. He didn’t need more enemies in the room. Logan’s face quickly fell in shame. “I’m sorry, Lola. That was unkind of me.”

Lola threw her head back and laughed. “Please, sugar, that’s the manliest you’ve acted all night. For a moment I thought you were a fairy,” she leaned in with a wink, “You know...a pansy.”

Logan’s face flushed red. He sputtered like a broken faucet, unable to form a coherent response. “N-no! I’m not!” He vehemently denied.

“Hey, don’t sweat it if you are, honey,” Alice tried to soothe, “We’re not exactly straight, ourselves.”

Logan looked at them curiously, “You mean…?”

Lola smirked, “If anyone asks, we’re cousins.”

“Then why- then how come-what?” Logan’s brow was furrowed, trying to understand what they were trying to get up to. The girls just smiled at him. He looked desperately at Patton. “Do you know what they’re saying?”

“I think they’re trying to say that they're lesbians; kissing pals,” he winked at their blushing faces. “Though, I still think you’re a bit too young to know for sure, Alice.”

Alice jutted her pointed chin in defiance, “I’m sixteen,”

Logan choked on nothing, starting to cough in disbelief. Patton reached an arm out to steady him, but he was denied. Logan seemed to be having a rough time adjusting to the swinger’s life for the night.

Patton ignored him, turning back to the girls. “Why were you dancing with us, then?” he asked for his speechless friend.

Lola looked at Alice and shrugged, “I still like men, but Alice makes me feel things no man has been able to.”

Alice smiled fondly and nuzzled into her partner’s cheek. “Same here, Lola. There’s something soft about a woman’s touch that a man can’t remake.”

Patton watched them carefully. “Aren’t you asking for trouble, flaunting that around?”

“I’m surprised you haven’t noticed sooner, considering you’re one of the Duke’s friends,” Lola remarked, “Look around the room. There’s a reason this place is so well guarded.”

Logan put his fist in his mouth, trying to keep up. “So you mean the Duke…?”

“Doesn’t mind dropping the pins and letting his hair down,” Lola filled in. “So, neither of you are…?”

It was Patton’s turn to blush, aware of no longer being an outsider watching a circus performance.

He never gave it much thought. All he wanted was to make the world a better place. He never imagined how he’d settle down, or who with. He just expected it to happen one day.

“I suppose I never gave it much thought,” Patton muttered. He looked at Logan who was staring intently at the floor. “But I know I don’t mind folks who are. My parents raised me to be a loving man, which includes men who love men.”

Logan looked up at him, eyes conveying a secret bit of gratefulness. Patton just smiled encouragingly. He had his suspicions, but he knew Logan was a good detective no matter what. That was all that mattered, and in that moment there was an even bigger matter that was more important than discussing various sexualities.

“Say, girls, what did you mean when you asked about us being the Duke’s friends and being...queer?” The word felt weird to say out loud, especially in reference to himself. It wasn’t bad. Just a little bit different.

Lola giggled as Alice blushed then said, “We just thought, well, usually he only has special guests when they’re his arm pieces. We’re sorry for assuming.”

Patton took his fake glasses off to wipe the sweat off of his face. He felt the urge to get another gin, but he knew he needed his senses sharp so he could be prepared for talking to the Duke. He also felt a bit hungry.

“No worries, ladies. I think Mr. James and I need to go get something to eat, I’m famished.” He dipped his head as they smiled politely.

He and Logan made their way to the table next to the bar, and grabbed some plates of food. They made their way to the dining tables in the room next door. There were a few couples in the room, and the music was less loud in there. Patton was keenly aware of Mr. Doris who entered the room behind them. He felt those intense eyes staring straight through his skull.

He tried to ignore it while he ate with his companion. “So, what’s the attack plan?”

Logan thought as he chewed. “Maybe we just go along, and if our lives get in danger we use our guns. They haven’t confiscated them from us yet.”

“What if that was part of the trap?” Patton asked. “And further, why would the Duke lure us in? Why not have us kidnapped like he’s done with others?”

Logan shuddered, “I don’t know, Pat, and I don’t want to consider that at this moment. We’ll save the why’s for later. We need to focus on gathering enough evidence, and getting out of here alive.”

Patton just nodded. “So where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know,” Logan muttered, tossing his fork down when he finished his meal, “There are a lot more questions than answers. Frankly, my mind is still spinning from that drink.”

“It was barely half a glass of gin, Logan,” Patton snickered, “I’ve had worse.”

Logan raised his eyebrow. “When?”

“Before the prohibition,” he waved dismissively, “My pops used to let me have a bit of whiskey every Saturday night.”

Logan tutted, “No wonder you’re so cheerful. There’s silly juice in your blood.”

Patton laughed, “Yeah, well, I am Irish.”

The moment of brevity disappeared as a shadow loomed over them. Mr. Doris, their guardian of the evening, loomed over them. “The Duke will see you now.”

-----

Logan was put into a separate waiting room upstairs as Patton was led to an office down the hall.

He gasped as he entered the room. The office was full of oddities. The shelves had bizarre jars full of mysterious colored horrors. There were stuffed animal mounts hanging on the wall, along with a few posters with graphic depictions of murders and scantily clad people of both sexes.

“How professional, “ he remarked in a high pitch as he walked in.

The Duke smiled behind his desk, “Thank you. I like to keep my office cozy.” He looked at his henchman, “Go wait by the door, Mr. Doris. I’ll call if he pulls a gun on me,” he winked at Patton.

The scarred man just nodded, glaring at Patton as he left to guard the door. Patton gulped nervously.

“Come in, detective, sit. Make yourself comfortable.” The Duke gestured to the chairs in front of his desk.

Patton considered briefly before deciding to sit. The chair was surprisingly comfortable, but he didn’t let himself relax fully. He stared at the most dangerous criminal in the Bay. He was on guard, suspicious that the Duke would order him to be killed at any moment.

“Why did you bring us here, Duke?” he asked with narrowed eyes.

The man behind the desk snickered, “Oh, detective, please tell me you’re more creative than that? Try a different question. Something more...interesting.”

Patton tilted his head in confusion. What was this man’s deal? “Uh...okay,” he spoke hesitantly, “Rumor has it you drop pins…?”

The Duke guffawed, “Oh, there’s one I haven’t heard! Thank you!” He kept giggling as he spoke, “I’m sorry, it’s just, the usual gets so boring sometimes. ‘Why am I here?’ ‘What do you want from me?’ ‘Are you gonna kill me?’” Remus rolled his eyes, “But to answer your question, yes, I let my hair down.”

He raised a brow at Patton seductively, “Does that bother you, good detective?”

“No, Duke,” he said honestly, “That’s not why I’m on your tail.”

“Oh, I wish you were on my tail,” the man sighed with a dreamy smile, “I bet you’d be a good one.”

Patton blushed, “Just get to the point.”

“Right,” The Duke slammed the desk. “I want you, your partner, and your other copper friends to lay off my people. Just turn a blind eye, and in reward we’ll take care of you.”

“What if I refuse?” Patton asked warily.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to run and hide deeper in the shadows,” the villain smirked. “If you want me, come and get me. Have fun trying, at least.” He spread his arms out.

“You won’t kill us?” the detective asked in disbelief. “You won’t make us disappear?”

“No,” the Duke truthfully told with his eyes wide, “I guess I won’t…” but he leaned forward with a wicked grin. “But you’ll never be able to lay a hand on me as I take over the town.”

Patton stayed silent, considering his options. He could pretend to agree to the demands, and warn the captain in his next report. However, the Duke seemed smart. He’d probably have eyes and ears out anyways to know if any funny business was going on. Patton was starting to believe that Logan was right after all. Someone on the force was bought off already, just to get the Duke close enough to the lead detectives on his case.

The Duke stood up from behind the desk to lean over Patton, who blushed at the proximity. There was no denying the villain was handsome, and there was something seductive about the way he looked at Patton. Like a hungry wolf who cornered his prey. Patton shivered in dangerous delight. He tried to shake the lustful feelings coming over his body. His conversation with the young girls downstairs was playing through his mind.

‘I never gave it much thought’, he had said then. Well, suddenly, he was giving it a lot of thought at that moment. The Duke must be a magician of some sorts, or that gin was stronger than he initially thought.

The man was staring at him, waiting for an answer. He looked like the devil before he was cast down to earth. He was beautiful, especially since Patton could look at him up close. His face was sculpted perfectly, and his grin was a mockery of purity. He was well kept, but looked like he could go feral at any moment. That only increased the seductive, dark aura he radiated.

Patton shifted uncomfortably under the gaze. He didn’t really enjoy the way he was being looked at, mainly because it made him want to gaze back as intensely and succumb to his proposal…

He chose to focus on the case at hand. “You said you’d take care of us?” You’d take care of me?

The Duke tapped his chin in thought, “I didn’t expect you to cave in so quickly, Detective O’Hearty. I thought you were selfless. At least that’s the word on the street.”

“Maybe I’m tired of being a slave to unreturned good deeds,” Patton lied. He had a plan forming, and it required getting the man’s guard down.

“Well, you’ll still be a slave if you work for me,” the Duke smirked, “But a willing one after time.

“Back to the subject of your benefits. Your precinct will be receiving an anonymous donation of 5% of our profits. My guys won’t interfere with any investigation outside of our operation, and maybe we can help you out but turning in some of our criminal rivals. Every now and then we might need your help, and you, along with your partner, will be at my personal disposal”

Patton deflated. Those conditions were really good. Was this how cops turned? The mobsters sent in gifts and seducers to prey on the weakness of men. He could end up doing a lot of good if they worked together, and really, they weren’t doing much harm to anyone except with their own criminals in their world.

No. No, it was wrong. He pledged to uphold the law, to enforce a certain code of morals that kept the public safe. The man standing in front of him was a murderer, he was a psycho. He was clearly deranged. He was charming, and used his charm to nearly get Patton to budge.

He needed to get out of there, but safely. The Duke made it clear that he may not be leaving alive, but he needed some time to think. An idea formed in his head. He was slightly disgusted with himself, but it had a larger chance of working than any other option.

He stood up and took off his fake spectacles. He leaned in the Duke’s personal space to set them on the dark mahogany desk. He then stayed to look down at the grinning man. Two could play a Devil’s game.

He played with the black tie that was set against the light green dress shirt. He heard the shorter man’s breath hitch. He leaned in a bit closer, setting his thigh discreetly between the shorter man’s legs. He lowered his voice to an unnatural pitch.

“Tell, me, Duke,” he leaned in to whisper in the man’s ear, “Did you really suspect that I’d be squeaky clean?”

Putting on the act was easier than it should have been, and a part of Patton panicked. He kept his cool, giving just a bit into his own budding desires to keep it all seeming authentic.

He let go of the tie, choosing to use that hand to lean on the desk, subtly trapping the breathless man beneath him. He hesitantly bent in to stroke his nose along the soft neck of the criminal.

“I think a part of you suspected who I really am,” he pressed his body further, completely molding him against the shorter man. He smiled in triumph as he heard a tantalizing moan slip from the mustached mouth.

“Part of you knew my own sinful desires, didn’t you? You didn’t call me here for business,” he swallowed his nerves to kiss the soft skin below the earlobe he was speaking half-truths into.

“No, I didn’t,” the Duke squirmed.

Patton was intrigued. He hadn’t expected such a powerful man to become so easily undone. He pulled away from his assault on the man’s neck to look into the man’s eyes, to see the truth.

The truth in the crazy eyes he had made him momentarily forget all he ever learned in Sunday School. The nearly black eyes burned with heated desire. Patton felt some fear, with all that chaos was focused on him, he would surely break. He felt strange, completely out of his body. What was he doing?

The criminal pulled Patton in by his tie and they were kissing. Patton knew he let the scenario go too far by then. It felt so good, though. There was something more grizzly about kissing another man, and frankly the tickle of the mustache added to the appeal of the moment. He kissed back, shouting to himself that it was just to keep up appearances.

He needed to leave, before he tossed all his morals out the window.

He pulled away, “Give me some time to think about your offer? As appealing as it is, I need to keep up appearances.”

The Duke smiled maniacally, “My dear detective, but of course!”

Patton tried to pull himself off of the other quickly, however the Duke gripped his hip and held him in place. Patton gasped as the man’s hand wandered across his waist. Then, he realized too late, that his gun had been pulled on him.

He looked down in betrayal and shock, he had thought he was succeeding in getting underneath the man’s skin.

“Don’t look so surprised, my dear detective, I didn’t get up to the top by my pretty looks. I do have some bit of intelligence,” he gestured to have Patton sit back onto the chair. “Though, let me tell you, with that little show you put on, I nearly did lose my marbles.”

The Duke licked his lips and moaned rather loudly, “You’re a good actor. That surely will haunt my dreams tonight,” he looked to the door and called his henchman back in.

Mr. Doris came back in, the permanent scowl on his face made him look like a sort of reptile to Patton. He walked to stand guard behind Patton, placing a yellow gloved hand firmly on the detective’s shoulder. Patton flinched at the touch, chastising himself for what he had sacrificed...only to fail.

Shortly after another younger, smaller guard brought Logan in. Logan was resisting, though it was futile. The kid had a good grip, and shoved the other detective into the seat beside Patton. He has unruly black hair, darker skin, and a hateful look in his eyes. He mimicked the other guard’s grip by having his own hand on Logan’s collarbone.

The Duke moved back behind his desk, grinning like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Well, gentlemen, let’s talk business.”

TAGLIST: @littlestr

Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist of this story!

#Intruality #Romantic intruality #Patton sanders #Logan sanders #Deceit Sanders #Virgil Sanders #remus sanders #the duke #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #multi chapter #Mob AU #The Duke of the Bay AU #The Duke of the Bay Part 2 #gun mention #alcohol mention #internalized homophobia #The Duke of the Bay #Mama Cesa writes

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gunnerpaxton · 6 years ago

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hlo char number 2 fr bri, some of u kno gunner but his first intro ever was whack bc i didn’t even rly kno him then bt now i do so daniel cook vc: Here We Are!

CISMALE — ever hear people say GUNNER PAXTON looks a lot like AXEL AURIANT? I think HE is about 20 so it doesn’t really work. The FILM major is a SOPHOMORE that is from LARAMIE, WYOMING. They can be +RESILIENT but they can also be -CALLOUS. I think GUNNERmight be N/A. They are living in MANON.

as u can see gunner is from wyoming which is jst . frankly a bit of a nightmare, what even is in wyoming? nothing but Misery

he was the middle child to rly eccentric and weird parents which is where he kinda gets a bit of his personality from

always was a mama’s boy, as soon as his younger brother wyatt was born he became her sunshine but gunner and his mom still had a really solid relationship, whereas the relationship he had with his dad was super strained.......... he was just never rly the Sporty Dude that his dad wanted in a child and thought gunner was sort of Weird to be frank so they jst . avoided each other if anything

elias is his older brother!! played by neen winks at her

elias and gunner always had a bit of a weird relationship too, they’re pretty different yet so alike at the same time?? who knows how that works

they were never That close until the night wyatt went missing ))): their parents were away on a weird probs swingers vacation or something and said the boys should just stay home for the weekend but they were teen boys of course they didn’t listen and all parted ways for a night, but only 2 of the paxton boys returned

ever since then elias and gunner became much closer since the relationship with their parents was just never the same, they rly only had each other after that and it was evident when elias left wyoming and gunner soon followed

after wyatt’s disappearance tho gunner sort of lost himself, sophomore to senior year of high school was like the worst time of his life since elias left for vermont and reoccurring nightmares had gunner slowly Losing It, he was diagnosed with major depressive disorder which he should be taking some pretty hefty meds for but he never remembers to refill his prescription n is just a mess w it in general

doesn’t really know how to be social, he never had many friends to begin with and then when wyatt went missing rumours of the family having something to do with the youngest paxton’s disappearance started to spread and that rly turned gunner into a pariah that still sorta lasts to this day, he’s awkward bt like he means well

film major!! he’d always been rly into film and loves movies and spent a lot of his time analyzing them and making his own short films whenever he started to feel really lonely or depressive episodes started to get bad, just his own sort of therapy

always filming at parties, plans on making a film about them just for fun jst basically thinks they’re super entertaining

has a lot of weird habits?? knows almost every card trick by heart, taught himself how to yodel n i wish i was kidding, can solve a rubix cube in a few seconds, also knows a lot of weird facts, just a bit of a Weirdo

he’s slowly starting to realize he’s Not Straight but he’s too scared to admit it, they grew up in a fairly religious Macho Man household so anything Gay was frowned upon n thts sort of engraved into his mind

WANTED PLOTS, mayhaps a roommate??, or ppl who are in his major/wld have had classes with him, someone who can tell he’s Awkward and feels bad for him and/or wanna break him out of his shell, a muse of sorts for his films, unrequited crushes, exes?? he wldnt have many bt he’d have Some, i think it’d b rly funny if he had awkward funny Sexual Encounters w ppl too, he also does need some friends, bt basically anything u want!!!

#livingintro #depression tw #missing child tw #kidnapping tw #um i think thts it?? I Hope.#gulps

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captaindaddykru · 6 years ago

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you hurt the ones you love (i don't believe that)

for @obviesbellarke based on this photo ;)

Raven has always prided herself on her work ethic. She didn’t come from much, her parents did not plan on having a child which about described her relationship with them, and she worked part-time jobs ever since the goverment allowed her to. (Since they put her in the system and the system failed her, she felt like she could pretty much do whatever she wanted to the system. So sometimes she repaid the cards they dealt her by doing some not so legal hacking into college databases to slightly change rich frat boy GPA’s and make some extra cash.)

It paid off, because now Raven works for NASA and she didn’t even apply for the job. They asked her to come work for them. Who can say NASA asked them to come work for them? Raven Reyes can. Why? Because she is a certified genius who worked her way through high school, and college, and a master degree, and still managed to look halfway attractive, get in thirty minutes of exercise a day and keep a semi-active social life throughout it all.

She loved her job. She did, but—but it also meant long days, a lot of overtime, even more time spend on business trips and conference calls. If it wasn’t for her boyfriend Zeke working in the same building as her, she’s pretty sure she would never see him either since she barely ever goes home. She just happened to luck out and get the most amazing, understanding and supportive friends in the universe.

Besides, after spending half her life ‘being friends’ with Finn—who fucked her over and ghosted her after mere nine days apart at different colleges—Raven has come to learn what real friendship is. Emori tags her in a meme at least every other day, Harper brings over fresh vegetables from her and Monty’s garden whenever she looks extra pale and Clarke dutifully keeps her up to date on all her favorite shows she has zero time to watch. They’re as real as it gets.

Hence, when things start to cross over from a strong work ethic to borderline workaholic slash inevitable burn-out and her boss Sinclair forces her to take two weeks off, she is disappointed when the first three people she asks to hang out on her first free Saturday night that year already have plans. They barely hear from her in months beside a quick ‘what’s up’ in their group chat before she falls asleep on her couch every Saint Glinglin and they have the audacity to not keep their nights free in case she might ask them to hang out sometime? Assholes.

Since Emori and Murphy are out of town (probably robbing a house or something, she still doesn’t know what they do in their free time), and Harper and Monty have dinner with her parents, Clarke is up next. Raven texts her asking what she is doing that weekend, opening up a bottle of wine before padding over to her living room without a glass. She deserves the entire thing. Raven starts up Netflix on her smart TV while she waits for her friend to reply.

Twenty minutes deep into an episode of Homeland, her phone buzzes annoyingly on the armrest.

CLARKE [8:51 PM]:

who’s number is this?

RAVEN [8:54 PM]:

very funny griffin. drinks on saturday?

It takes a surprisingly long time for Clarke to answer her text, even though she isn’t a notorious bad back-texter unlike her boyfriend. One time like two years back, Raven asked Bellamy if he wanted to chip in on Murphy’s birthday present and he still hasn’t replied to this day. She’s pretty sure he isn’t even aware of the fact iMessage exists.

Raven has almost single-handedly finished off a bag of Cheetos before her phone buzzes again. She unlocks her phone to find a photo of a pregnancy test staring back at her, balanced precariously on what she assumes is Clarke’s knee, like the night terrors she used to have in middle school, terrified to end up like the other girls in her neighbourhood, sure a boy even looking at her could knock her up.

RAVEN [9:08 PM]:

so no drinks then???

The reply comes faster this time, Raven sure that Clarke was just jumping for her to something. Anything.

CLARKE [09:09 PM]:

i just found out and my first instinct was to grab a bottle of beer, i’m fucked

She’s not sure what Clarke wants from her here—that one always had more up her sleeve than expected—a congrats or a condolences, so she settles on the safe middle of comic relief.

RAVEN [9:10 PM]:

who’s the father?

CLARKE [09:10 PM]:

seriously?

RAVEN [9:11 PM]:

what? thought you two went to that swingers club the other month

CLARKE [09:14 PM]:

that was a teacher’s conference. he begged me to come

RAVEN [9:15 PM]:

i thought YOU begged HIM to come and now we’re in this whole mess?

A reply doesn’t come for two minutes, and then three, and when the clock ticks closer to five minutes, Raven decides to dial her number. It switches over to Facetime, but the screen is black, static commotion of the phone being moved around the only sound between their two devices for a good ten seconds. Finally, she asks, “Clarke?”

“I didn’t plan for this, Rave,” is the first thing out of her mouth, and Raven has to bite back a smile. Clarke is such a in-the-closet neurotic mess and she missed it. The screen turns very bright, then finally she can make out her friend. From the looks of it, she is on the floor in her bathroom, mascara smudged lightly under her eyes, wavy hair a mess on top of her head. “I haven’t even finished school yet. My NCLEX exam isn’t until next month—“

“Sound like perfect timing to me,” Raven snorts, keeping her tone very bored. Is this all she has? Are these her best arguments? She’s off her game. “You’ll ace the exam, get a few months of nursing experience at the hospital and then you can go on maternity leave. Your mom owns the surgical ward, I’m pretty sure she can make it happen.”

She watches Clarke draw her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead on top of them for a moment before looking back up at her phone. She does look wrecked. Raven hesistates for a second, then inquires, “Have you told him?”

“No,” Clarke replies, and then she is quiet for another second. She sounds softer this time, “What if he doesn’t want this?”

Raven almost cackles out loud. That loser would do anything for her, even if he didn’t want a baby with her—which seemed very unlikely—he would probably go to his grave swearing it was all he ever wanted. Besides, Bellamy has a few years on Clarke, is a well-known mother hen and is practically smitten with his sister’s toddler. (The only pictures he ever posts on social media are either of Clarke, his sister, that bratty little Octavia look-alike, or the three of them together—which was probably Nirvana by his definition.) He was more than ready, Raven’s sure that his old man primal hormones are just off the charts.

“Fat chance,” Raven settles on, instead of manic laughter because she’s a good friend, eyebrows practically disappearing into her hairline. “You’re talking about Bellamy Blake? The same Bellamy Blake who, when you introduced him to me and I told him I would kick his ass if he ever hurt you, said he couldn’t wait to have your babies someday?”

Clarke scrunches up her nose in disbelief, and Raven wonders if she needs to get her sight checked. Does she not see how that buffoon looks at her? “He said that?”

“Yep,” Raven drags out, seemingly unimpressed.

“He was drunk,” she argues, brushing her off as she runs a hand through her tangled blonde hair.

“That makes it more true, Clarke, not less,” Raven replies without skipping a beat, can’t help but sound a little tiny bit judgemental just because of who she is as a person. There’s more silence, Clarke chewing on her thumbnail as she stares off in the distance and Raven sighs, softening her voice. “No offense, but why are you complaining to me about this, babe? It isn’t like you to be this insecure.”

Was this not the Clarke Griffin who marched up to their arrogant orange-President-affliated professor and told him he might be an art teacher, but she was an artist? It was a popular meme around their college for weeks, black sunglasses and a animated blunt photoshopped onto her yearbook picture and plastered around the halls. The same Clarke Griffin who punched through a glass window because racist campus police let her go and took Monty into a interrogation room alone after catching the both of them with some weed brownies and still has the scar to prove it? Was she not the Clarke Griffin who got everyone to sign a petition to get Kyle Wick kicked out of school when he tweeted out a sexually suggestive picture of Raven?

“Because you know he’ll be excited,” she presses, aggrevated, blue eyes dark as she stares at her camera as if she can stare straight into Raven’s soul. “And I can’t break his heart and tell him that—”

“That what?” Raven cocks an eyebrow, figuring it’s time for some though love now. “You dont want a baby?”

“No—“ She tries to get it, but Raven doesn’t relent, keeps pressing, “That you don’t want his baby?”

“No!” Clarke blurts out harshly, cutting her off as her eyes brim with tears. “That I didn’t plan for this!” She swallows tightly, and Raven just watches her, chest heaving up and down erraticly, blue eyes darting from left to right as she tries to get her thoughts together. “You know what happened when I started medical school, why I had to drop out,” her voice finally breaks, lip trembling. “This time, I was going to better. I was going to do it right.”

“You had a nervous breakdown, Clarke,” Raven snaps, tired of the sugarcoating. She was so hard on herself, and Raven still feels the slighest pang of guilt at that because she used to encourage that quality in her, held her to even higher standards. Maybe at first because she was jealous of her, of the golden girl who got everything handed to her. When she realized that wasn’t true, it was more because Raven knew she could be brilliant. Then after everything went down, she realized Clarke had already been brilliant all along. “You were making eighteen hour days, Lexa broke your heart and then your dad died in your arms. I think not having a breakdown over that would’ve qualified you as a sociopath.”

Clarke quickly wipes at the wetness trailing down her cheek, like she is trying to keep Raven from seeing, hugging her knees closer to her chest. Quietly, she sniffs, wondering, “What if it happens again?”

“It won’t. Because you’ve learned you can’t plan everything because life comes at you fast,” Raven says, authoratively, like she’s reading it from the pamphlet her therapist got them back then. “—and to communicate about how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking. Eat enough vegetables and sleep enough hours.”

Clarke takes a deep breath, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand as she lets herself nod. Raven can’t help but press, “Isn’t that what you and Bellamy use as foreplay? A good old fashioned emotional conversation?”

Clarke scoffs. “No, like talking shop doesn’t get you and Shaw going.”

Raven lifts a shoulder, indifferent. She’s not going to sit here and pretend like him being able to name every component of a Harvey Davidson motorcycle in alphabetical order doesn’t get her all hot and bothered.

Clarke wipes her palms on her jeans-clad thighs, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “What if I’m not any good at this?”

“Then the child will have the most awesome aunt to fall back on,” Raven smirks, and luckily, Clarke finally cracks a smile too. “You’re Clarke fucking Griffin. If this is something that you want—“ She drags out the last word, pausing to get her confirmation (she’s pretty sure it’s something she does want, deep down, but it doesn’t hurt to check before she rolls out the whole peptalk), and reluctantly, her friend nods, corners of her lips turned up almost shyly. “If it’s something that you want, you’ll succeed at it. You care about everyone, Clarke, to a fault.”

Raven finds herself smirking again, pretending to be half-distracted with re-tightening her brace. “And I know it’ll be hard to care about that baby knowing it’s Bellamy’s—“

“Shut up,” Clarke deadpans, and her eyes look brighter, clearer. Tentatively, her hand comes to rest on top of her lower belly, fingers flexing on top of her shirt for just a second. Raven can’t help but smile, happy for her friends. It’s what they deserve.

“You should really call him,” Raven pushes, pursing her lips satisfactory, “He’s going to be so salty you told me before him.”

“Probably,” Clarke snorts, just the slightest bit of nervousness flashing across her eyes before they soften as she says, “But, thanks, Rave. I’m glad to see NASA lets you out on probation every six months.”

“It’s NASA though,” she responds—a little boastful, because it’s NASA, she gets to be boastful—then stretches out her free arm. “Also, mocktails Saturday?”

Clarke beams. “Deal.”

(The next time Raven gets a text from Clarke, it’s a photo of a ring on her finger.)

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thewidowstanton · 8 years ago

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Korri Aulakh, swinging trapeze, dance trapeze and straps artist

Korri Aulakh started on flying trapeze at 12 years old with the London Youth Circus at what was then the Circus Space, now the National Centre for Circus Arts in London, building on his background in gymnastics and competitive trampolining. He was later accepted on to the NCCA degree course and specialised in swinging trapeze, acrobatics and dance trapeze. After graduating, Korri spent three more years training with the highly respected Russian coach Victor Fomine at the National Circus School in Montreal, and since 2015 has worked internationally on swinging and dance trapeze and also aerial straps and pole.

When we saw him appearing in the London Youth Circus show Outfoxed in 2016, his exceptional skill level and the sheer quality of his movement was clear. Korri is participating in the 38th edition of the Cirque de Demain festival in Paris, which runs from 26-29 January 2017 at Cirque Phénix. He chats to Liz Arratoon from Montreal, where he is in training at Victor's Studio (École Léotard).

Do you go to Victor's Studio quite often to train? I haven't been since I graduated from ENC, and then I was working for Celebrity Cruises, on Celebrity Eclipse for eight months until June 2016. Then I came home, back to London, so this is the first time I've been back to my old coach and back to the school. It's been really nice.

How does the studio work? It's private training, so you go and and either train with him in a private class or go there and free train, which is nice because you don't have to book, you can just go and train.

Are you a Londoner? No, I'm from Essex. I live in Chigwell. My parents were both born in London but on my mum's side my grandparents are Jamaican and my dad's side are Indian, from the Punjab.

When did you start gymnastics? I was maybe about six or seven… but I didn't do it for very long. I did it recreationally just for fun and then I did it a bit more seriously for maybe a year or two. Then I switched to trampolining when I was 11. That was what I did competitively, that was what I loved to do. And I think it's what gave me a good foundation for trapeze, because I knew where I was twisting and how I was somersaulting. But over time, I gradually stopped trampolining and went into circus.

What level were you at? I competed nationally, but I quit. I didn't like competing. I loved trampolining but I just hated the competitions. It was quite ironic. My mum was like: "I don't understand why you don't like competing because you always do so well in the competitions." I always won something but I just didn't enjoy it. It was too much pressure.

When did you first become aware of circus? We went to Jamaica to visit my grandparents and stayed in one of those resorts that has a flying trapeze rig, basically, and like, a little circus show. The children come and do classes and try the trapeze and take part in the circus show. I was a gymnast, my cousin was also a gymnast and he went with me to train. My others cousins were dancers so there were four of us and we thought: "Ooh, this will be fun." We ended up all doing a contortion act together, which was so funny [laughs] and that's how I got into it. I tried the flying trapeze, that was 2001, and from that day I just thought, ‘This is what I wanna do'. I came back from holiday and was Googling flying trapeze and that's how the Circus Space popped up. From there, I called them, went in for an audition…

So flying trapeze, not swinging trapeze back then? I started with flying trapeze [laughs]…

As a flyer? I was a flyer and I'd also catch the girls. That's what I did, cradle and flying trapeze and I did it for six years on the Youth Circus. I didn't try swinging until I started the degree programme at Circus Space when I was 18.

What made you swap to swinging? With flying I needed a troupe of people or if I did cradle I needed someone else, and at the time there was no one there who wanted to do flying or cradle so it was either straps, acro or swinging trapeze. I loved swinging and I still felt I could train other stuff alongside it because I'd been training through Youth Circus. I'd done straps then and static trapeze, so yeah.

It's not exactly an easy act to drop into a cabaret… It's so difficult. It's a bit of a pain in the bum, to be honest. [Laughs] That's the thing cos it needs so much space, and the rigging as well gets a little confusing and difficult. You might get a place has the space but then you need four floor points to make sure it's all stable and fixed and it doesn't move. It gets really difficult but that's why the festival is perfect. There aren't many festivals that have a big enough space that allow me to swing.

There was an artist, Emma Stones, swinging in Wiesbaden, at the European Youth Circus Festival, so that's a possibility… Oh Emma, she's a really good friend of mine. She was two years ahead of me at Montreal.

But dance trapeze gives you more options… Literally all I work with in London is dance trapeze and straps and some acro stuff. On the ship I did dance trapeze and straps, I did pole, silks, hand-to-hand, I danced. It was like: "What can you do? We need it all." [Laughs] I was supposed to swing actually on the ship but something wasn't finished so it didn't happen. I love dance trapeze just as much as swinging. It does just give me an option to work more.

Have you considered traditional circus? It's a bit of a different life. Yes, I have actually.

Let's just go back, why did you want to go on to Montreal after Circus Space? Victor! Victor was there and for swinging that was kind of the best option, the best thing to do if that was something I felt strongly about and wanted to work with as much as I could. The training I would have needed to compete against other swingers, Victor was the option. There's another guy, I think in France, who also worked with Victor a long time ago. It was also the time when Lyndall Merry went to Montreal to train with Victor, swinging, and he came back to London and started swinging at the Circus Space again – I think I was in the first year – and I saw a kind of new technique that he'd brought back. The stuff that he was doing was what I wanted to do. He gave me that push to actually go and pursue it and find a way to get over to Montreal and train with Victor. I'd always heard his name from other circus people, just for swinging, but he also teaches a lot of straps; that's his gymnast's background.

Does Victor (below) still teach at the school or just in his own studio? He teaches at the school in the mornings from, like 8.30am until about 1.30pm and then gets to the studio for 2.30pm and teaches until 9pm. It's ridiculous.

How hard did you have to work in Montreal? School was really, really, really difficult. It was the best and worst thing, kind of. I was always so tired, I was always so sore and then you have to do it all again. I'd be at school from 7.30am until 9pm most days because obviously Victor only teaches in the mornings so a lot of my classes were at 8.30 in the morning. So I'd swing for an hour or two hours, depending on what day it was, but I'd get there at 7.30am to get ready and warm up. Then school would finish at about 4pm or 5pm and then we'd have night classes from 6pm to 9pm, which was either a French class twice a week or intro to circus arts, or rigging, or lighting or stuff like that. It was really, really difficult; really difficult.

Looking back, I don't know how I managed to get through. I remember when I left school I just chilled out for a month before I started the cruise contract. I needed that time to kind of let my body realise what had happened to it for three years. But it was great, I loved it. It gave me everything that I needed and they give you like, hours and there's so much support. I feel there's a lot of expectation still, a standard of what's expected, and that standard can be a little bit too much, but they really do push you and they just want the best for you and they want you to be the best that you can be. They just try to squeeze it out of you [laughs].

And it really paid off! What's the hardest trick you do? The hardest… I haven't done it since I graduated. I did it for my final presentation and then I never did it ever again. It was, 'I did it, I did it, I did do it, it's on video, I've got it'. It's a triple twist…

Like a pirouette? Yeah, and then I finish upside down in ankles, in the ropes. No one else does that. I managed to get it and I performed it but then it was like, just so much stress, and I was like, 'I can't, I can't do it'. That's the hardest thing just cos you have to do it perfectly for it to work… I didn't always do it perfectly so I was always landing kind of on the side of my leg or up in my ribs. I didn't want to injure myself anymore, you know.

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Talking about injuries, what does swinging do to your hands? It does take a toll but they're OK at the minute…

Do you wear any hand guards? No. Obviously the more I swing, the more I train, the more callused they get, but I have to be careful because if the calluses get too big, that's when they can rip off. That happened during the Youth Circus show… I had tape on my hands for that show because my hands ripped in the dress rehearsal. It was awful, the worst thing and then having to go and do the four shows I actually had to change my routine because I couldn't hang on the bar too much or do one of the tricks I wanted to do at the end, a somersault, because it was just too painful.

I'm trying to be really careful with them now. It's difficult to balance the amount of training. I want to be as prepared as I can be but I know when I need to stop because if my hands rip before the festival it's gonna be horrible. I guess that's the bain of aerialists' lives, our hands.

Gymnasts wear… They wear leather hand guards. I keep meaning to buy a pair online because I used to use them and they do help but I'd only use them if my hands got really sore, because ideally, because of the saltos and stuff that I wanna do I really need to be able to feel where I am on the bar and be able to let go easily when I need to. It's just one of those things that I have to deal with and just get on with.

How much fun was it to go back and appear with the Youth Circus kids in Outfoxed? It was a lot of fun and to be there with Nathan and Arthur… Nathan I'd been with at Circus Space since I was 11. I'm 24 now and it did make me think, ‘Oh my god, I can't believe it's been ten years’. It was really, really good and to work with Jack [Horner] as well, who was one of my Youth Circus teachers and he was a swinging trapezist as well. Outfoxed was great and I got to do hand-to-hand with Nathan and Arthur… if I weren't a swinging trapezist, my dream would be to be hand-to-hand flyer.

It was great to work with the circus students and to see some of them move on to the degree course. I see them there now and they always come to us for advice. I tell them, 'You need to love what you pick to specialise in'. The thing with swinging is that I love doing it. I've accepted that I might not always be able to continually work contract after contract with it but if I can do dance trapeze or straps or whatever and then do a contract with swinging I've come to terms with it. People ask me about it; swinging is like, really difficult. I wouldn't advise doing it unless you really, really love it and you know from the get-go that this isn't something you'll have contract after contract with, literally because of space and rigging.

Do any of your cousins do circus now? Not circus but my cousins are professional dancers. They're in musical theatre. One's in Kinky Boots at the minute, he's one of the angels. I've seen it a lot. We've got a very athletic family. My dad was a black belt kick boxer with my aunt, my mum was a runner, a hockey player… my brother… we're all sporty and athletic in some way. It's great because I have such love and support from my family, not just my mum and my dad and my brother, but my aunts and uncles, my cousins, because they all understand that it's difficult, the life of an artist, not necessarily knowing when your next job is. They always come to watch me perform and they're coming to Paris. It's really nice to have that support. A lot of people don't have that because people don't see it as a real job, and I appreciate it so much.

How do you feel about appearing at the Demain festival? I feel pretty good right now, pretty calm and collected [laughs]. That might change once I'm in Paris. When I first found out I was terrified, absolutely terrified. I called Lj [Marles, who is also taking part] and we both freaked out. I was so happy… but oh my god, OK, we have to perform on that huge stage in front of all these people…

But you're both so good, all you've got to do is do what you always do. Exactly. I've had some really good chats with some people. I spoke to Joe Pinzon recently. He's worked a lot and done a lot of things. I know this anyway but he said: "Just do what you do. It's just another performance like any other." I know what I'm doing, I'm in control, it will be fine. I spoke to Ugo Dario, he did the festival a few years ago, he's in Machine de Cirque now, and he said: "Just have fun. Just have fun with your friends there and you'll have a great time." Lj will be there and I have some friends from my year in Montreal who will be there, too.

Do you know Masha Terentieva? She’s going. Yes, I do. There's a good bunch of people and I'm really excited. I feel really good at the minute because I've been training, I've been running my number and yeah, it's getting there.

Have you had a career highlight yet or might this be it? Do you know what, I actually think this might be it. I get to swing and perform in front of all these people and all these incredible other artists in this beautiful, amazing tent. Five years ago this week I auditioned there for Montreal so I know what to expect. I think this will be it; this will be it.

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Korri takes part in the 38th edition of the Cirque de Demain festival, which runs from 26-29 January 2017 at Cirque Phénix in Paris.

Picture credits: Roland Lorente; Bertil Nilsson; Warren Zelman

Twitter: @korblimey @cirque2demain @Freeze_Pop @cdenigremont @NationalCircus @YouthCircus

Follow @TheWidowStanton on Twitter

Read our interviews with Cirque de Demain MC Calixte de Nigremont and participants Lj Marles and Masha Terentieva and Outfoxed director Jack Horner

#korri aulakh #swinging trapeze #dance trapeze #aerial straps #interview #national centre for circus arts #ecole national du cirque #cirque de demain #festival mondiale de cirque de demain #london youth circus #victor fomine #Victor's Studio

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generallyspecificblog · 7 years ago

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I watched episodes 1 & 2 of the new season of Stranger Things on Netflix this weekend, its been a long time coming. I’ve been waiting patiently for this season since the last one ended. The show grew on me in a big way, i did not like it initially. Something about it is mysterious and innocent and this season looks to have more of a suspenseful and scary vibe. I’ve only watched two episodes thus far so this is an incomplete project but I felt I needed to write about it because i haven’t blogged a long one in a few days. What follows are my hot takes, conspiracy theories, and honorable mentions of “Stranger Things” Season 2.

Ah, the ’80’s, things were slower back then i’m sure, i wouldn’t know though because i was -10 in 1980. The fact that in one of the opening scenes the boys are scrambling for quarters to go play arcade games just tells me that those were the good days. Reminds me of the movie/documentary, “The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters”, if you haven’t seen that i suggest that you stop reading this blog and go watch that documentary, you will not be let down, you will also have your masculinity tested by a man named Billy Mitchell. Also that is probably the only time i’ll suggest that you stop reading the blog so you know its worth it. Anyways, quarters are king and Mike robs Nancy of her piggy bank which i think is just great, but also i feel like Nancy is a bit too old for a piggy bank.

So the boys (Will, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin) rally at the local arcade room, Those for sure were only around for laundering money i imagine, and get to playing. At some point Will hears something and wanders off and somehow he is pulled into the upside-down place, his home pretty much the whole 1st season, and sees a dark sky with red lightning and a shadow demon thing with tornadoes for arms and then snaps out of it. First off i would like to say that i do not completely understand what the show writers are going for with the existence of the “Upside-down” place. I guess the easiest way to explain it is an alternate dimension that’s evil and terrible, but i just don’t know how it all works. I will admit that i think that if i were to somehow be instantly teleported to a place like that, i would for sure only be able to cry and close my eyes until i inevitably died because that place, and that monster thing seem completely terrifying. With all of that being said i think that calling it “The Upside-Down Place” is a rookie move and who ever came up with it needs to go to prison. It’s like calling it “Creepy Avenue” or “Elm Street”, how about a better name for the place that your main characters fear and where pure evil resides. As a matter of fact i will no longer refer to it as the “Upside-down” place and from here on out it will be called the “Thunderdome” or “Satans Basement” or “Oklahoma” ANYTHING but “Upside-down” place. So, Will snaps out of it somehow and his excuse to his friend for being outside is that he needed some air, I found that funny because this show is set in the 80’s and no chance kids were as messed up and snowflakey as they are now. “Needing some air” in the 80’s was just something you said when you wanted your 3rd cigarette from your 2nd pack of the day, i assume. Be more dramatic Will.

The cameos in these first two episodes were very interesting and i didn’t hate them, i’d actually be excited if they all stayed on as regulars. First we have Brett Gelman playing Murray Bauman, aparrently some kind of private investigator with suspicion of Russian assistance in the events that transpired last season. Gelman is killing it lately with the cameos and honestly is just a really funny guy, i will never forget him in The Other Guys as the Arnold Palmer obsessed wanna-be swinger who begs Will Ferrels character to bang his wife.

Next and my favorite so far is the incomparable Mikey Walsh, the lovable Samwise Gamgee, Rudy HIMSELF, Sean Astin playing Bob “The Brain” Newby. Sean Astin is top 10 in my favorite actors, all around good dude, and just as lovable as they get. His character in Stranger Things is Joyce Byers’ new love interest it seems, and he does a fantastic job. The dynamic between him and Joyce is weird but i am fully invested after 2 episodes. Sean Astin nerding out about video cameras and radio shack is grade-a television folks.

Other than that there is a new pair of sibling characters in the show, Billy and Maxine AKA MadMax, that i just don’t know about yet. Billy is an absolute psychopath that resembles a younger Zac Efron who is fond of younger Zac Efrons who drives like a bat outta hell. This Billy dude is like a cross between Kurt Cobain on a bender and Jack Nicholson from The Shining. Pure crazy, but an entertaining character. His sister, i’m assuming, Maxine (or Max as she so rudely corrected the zany teacher at the school) is a very boyish little girl who is apparently good at arcade games and skateboarding, possessing some of the same crazy traits as her aforementioned brother. Some subtle yet understandable misogyny is featured in a scene where the boys are spying on her and say something along the lines of “girls cant play video games”. There is a new psychiatrist guy that talks to Will too but he is very boring and on the bad guys side so i don’t particularly care for him. Out of the new characters i mentioned above i would rank them accordingly: 1. Bob 2. Murray 3. Billy 4. Maxine 956. Doctor Boring D.O.

As for our returning characters a lot has changed in good ole Hawkins and its nearing the one year anniversary of the finale of last season some time around Halloween, obviously. The iconic Reagan Bush ’84 Campaign signs make an appearance in these episodes a couple of times in peoples yards and i love it, shout out Rowdy Gentleman. The boys are still up to their nerdy shenanigans riding around on bikes and talking on their giant walkie-talkies. An exciting part is that they dress up as Ghostbusters for Halloween and being the season is set in 1984 i give 1,000 kudos to the kids for being such trailblazing fans of the film, and 2,000 kudos to their parents for making the costumes from scratch. There is a pretty comical argument between Mike and Lucas on who gets to be Venkman, Bill Murrays character, with an awkward reference to the only black Ghostbuster, Winston Zeddemore played by Ernie Hudson, being lame because he was late to the team.

Mike is emotionally invested in 2 boxes of toys for some reason and misses the hell out of his superhuman girlfriend, 11, just being an emo little baby pretty much the whole time. Will and Mike make some weird pact while trick-or-treating where Mike says “If you’re weird, I’m Weird” kind of like Ryan Gossling does in the Notebook (If you’re a bird, I’m a bird). Lucas and Dustin fight over who is gonna date Maxine.

Our guy Will, who spent the majority of last season in the Thunderdome, has turned into a monster in the eyes of the kids at school. He gets bullied a bit, being called “Zombie Boy” and getting notes put in his locker saying the same thing, thank god Twitter or Facebook didn’t exist back then or this dude would of 13 Reasons Why’d his way through the rest of this season, probably. He takes it with stride though, animating his new nickname pretty artistically, wouldn’t be surprised if he creates a comic book about his Zombie alter ego and becomes a millionaire.

Steve and Nancy are still an item, probably my second favorite couple behind Johnathan and crippling loneliness. Nancy has become annoying because out of the clouds she starts actually caring that her friend Barb is dead, probably because she feels guilty, i mean you’d have to be an idiot to not blame Nancy for the demise of our homely heroine, Barb. There is a scene where Nancy and Steve go have dinner with Barbs parents and enjoy some KFC #fingerlickingood. Barbs parents are delusional at this point, in denial that Barb is dead. They are not in good health, mainly because of the fried chicken, and have plans to sell their home to fund a wild goose chase led by the wacky ex-journalist, P.I. Bauman. That should be successful. R.I.P Barb. Some how Steve has become more likable. Probably because of his hair which has some how become bigger, the higher the hair the closer to heaven, i see you Steve. Nancy and Steve go to a Halloween party together where she gets tipsy on some jungle juice, or as the raging toga bro, who is later seen yakking his brains out, calls it, “Pure Fuel”. Nancy, in typical white girl wasted fashion, says “bullshit” 9 million times after getting a cup of hunch punch spilled on her and brings up the past (Her and Steve basically murdering Barb, gone but never forgotten). Surprisingly Steve peaces out instead of taking advantage of Nancy like he did last season. Johnathan, in typical lonely guy fashion, swoops in like a sad pigeon and saves the day by taking her home and tucking her in. I feel it is necessary to say that i think Johnathan looks like an anorexic Bill Hader from SNL and i hope other people see that too.

My favorite character, 11, or Elle as Chief Hopper adorably calls her, has taken up residence in a cabin out in the sticks. Chief Hopper is my 2nd favorite character in the show and he has become some type of father figure to 11 letting her stay in his cabin and is keeping her safe from the Russians or whoever is trying to get her. 11 is still a super hero and controls stuff with her mind. She has grown her hair out lookin like a jerry curl gettin real high up there, watch out Steve. Hopper is still whippin around in that dope ass Trailblazer and totin that 6-shooter like a rootin tootin cowboy, they should call him Sheriff instead of Chief. The interaction between Sheriff Hopper and 11 is perfect and comical. 11 is still very robot-like and says “five one five” instead of 5:15 at one point alluding that she hasn’t become much more normal than the first season. There are a few flashbacks to season one including one where 11 is breaking through some gooey womb-like substance out of Thunderdome and it reminds me of Jim Carrey being born from a rhino in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. In another scene 11 kills and begins to cook a squirrel to eat and then beams it at some hunter dudes face in the woods because i guess that’s what Russian cyborgs do. Sheriff Hopper misses hanging out with Elle for Halloween and that broke my heart, do better man.

As usual the soundtrack for the show is the absolute best, the beginning credit song that sounds like Daft Punk time traveled back to the 80’s is up there with Game of Thrones intro song. So far the show is fantastic and there are a lot more witty references and noteworthy things to say but i have just realized that i have written 2,000+ words and most of this was just mindless stammering on and so with that i give my superlatives and predictions thus-far:

Most likely to die alone: Jonathan Byers

Worst Father of the Year: Sheriff Hopper

Most likely to Smash for sure: Hopper and Joyce

Most Improved: Barb

Best Hair: Steve

Probably Gonna Finish Last: Bob “The Brain” Newby

Most Athletic: The Bike Boys

Life of the Party: Yoga bro

Most Likely to Become President: Reagan Bush ’84

Biggest Twist: Barb is alive!

Token Black Guy: Lucas

Least Likely to do Anything, Ever: The dumb psychiatrist guy

Most likely to end up in jail or an insane asylum probably: Billy

Most Likely To Confuse The Millennium Falcon with the Starship Enterprise: My Fiance while watching the show with me.

Stranger Things: Season 2 Return of Barb, Maybe. I watched episodes 1 & 2 of the new season of Stranger Things on Netflix this weekend, its been a long time coming.

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gwassysworld-blog · 8 years ago

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knocked up

back in 2000 before online dating was cool there were these things called chat lines that you would call into to meet people. It was really a way for prostitutes to work from home before craigslist. but it was also fun when ur bored to get fucked up and mess with people in the middle of the night.. well at least for me it was..

well one night on there i some how started talking to this guy from Cleveland, and he just wanted to talk, i don't remember details but i told him to come up to my work the next day so i could have a look at him.. and he did.. and i left with him.. He took me back to his house in Cleveland and told me his whole life story on the way out there.. how he was 26, surprisingly the same age i had told him i wouldn't date older than. that his grandma raised him because his mom was a “wall licker” and was in a mental hospital.. that he was married, and had a 4 year old son, but the mother had taken him and moved away and he hadn't seen him in 2 years. he went on to tell me that this caused him to have a vasectomy so he never had to go through this experience again.. ya know pull at the heart strings.. i don't no really what he was trying.. but hey it worked, he was in me unprotected that night.. i hung out with him for about a week or so, until we went to get beer one night and he was carded.. I heard that cashier say “you don't look 32.” .....32? but u said u were 26... we got out to the car and i told him i wanted him to take me home. Theres one thing i don't like in life and its liars, u can lie about knowing me to other people, but don't lie to me. Instead of taking me home he drove back to his house. and told me to go in and get my things. good thinking, don't want to leave those behind. We got inside and he sat down and told me he wasn't going to take me home that i needed to get over it ... you don't tell me what to do.. its just never worked that way.. my parents tell me enough what not to do, i wasn't going to have a man tell me.. it escalated very quickly.. but like i said i hadn't know this guy that long.. right out hes lying about his age.. and i wasn't that interested either.. so i went to grab the phone to call my mom, a struggle happened and my head went through a wall.... i ran out of his house down to this convenient on the corner and called my mom and had her come pick me up... one psycho down..

me and my mom had a great talk on our way home. i think it was just like a tipping point.. i knew things were out of control and i didn't no what to do with my life. and she was my mom i should be able to talk to her about these things.. not so much.. i even told her i was cutting and she looked at me like i was crazy, i told her about a night when i was about 15 and out in the garage with my dad and one of his friends, they were partying and his friend grabbed me and kissed me and grabbed my ass, right in front of my dad, my dad laughed, i bit his lip.. yup her response, even to this day.. that never happened... My parents were swingers with this guy and his wife so i think it was more of a we cant open up any can of worms talking about this guy... or she just didn't care. which was shocking to me because in her crazy night time talks she would have with my dad when they thought we were all sleeping, i had heard her talk one night about how she had an uncle that forced her to do things to him. i figured she would definetly get it.. well this solidified the fact that i can never talk about what happened when i was younger.. this shit just had to stay bottled up.. she didn't care.. i stayed up the whole night crying and cutting the shit out of my arms. i just wanted to figure something out, i just wanted to get out of my parents house, i just wanted someone to want me, someone to talk to.. everything around me was falling apart, danny had pulled a knife on lisa cause he found out she cheated on him.. and i was like their kid stuck in the middle until they both quit and forgot about me. and slight friendship i had with anyone from school was over, either cause i slept with their boyfriend or they had left for college.. and here i am working in a pizza shop, walking to work..

So i go to work the next day and its just me and billy working the afternoon shift. All through high school our “sex” was a big secret but he was my friend, we would sit and talk for hours every night and he knew.. he knew me.. he knew everything. He also knew it was strange when i walked in with a long sleeve shirt on a 85 degree day to a pizza shop with no air conditioning.. he said something .. half joking half not asking if i had moved onto heroin and was covering my tracks.. no man, and the tears just started again, i pulled up my sleeves and fell to the ground, like someone please just hold me I'm cracking up.. and he did, he ran over and took the phone off the hook and he got down on the ground with me and wrapped his arms around me and just held me.. and then we had sex.... on the floor.. dignified.. right.. even in my weakest moments all i was ever seen for was sex.. but that was life and that was normal.. afterwards he told me about how he had an older sister that also would cut and told me of a place to go to get help and to call him whenever i needed someone.

well you know after you have an extreme lava flow of emotions sometimes you see things more clearer... well i do.. it always feels like when i finally let it all out i feel so much better.. i called that place and went to one counciling meeting.. but it was an eye opener i guess.. like time to figure some thing out.. partying like ur parents isn't going to get you anywhere.. so i started to make a plan.. stopped going out and stayed home with my sisters every night. i had this great plan that i would move out and get custody of them, but i needed to at least be there for them for now, they were still young, and it wasn't fair i was running away from them all the time because i didn't want to be stuck in that house, but i forgot they were there by themselves to see it.

alright so I'm on the right track, a month or so goes by and i start getting really sick to my stomach .. a lot! oh, let me think about this.. i haven't had my period in a month or so... oh shit.. i took 3 different pregnancy tests in various fast food bathrooms.. all coming back the same.. damn girl your pregnant...

my mom was the first one i told.. i couldn't keep it from her very long... she cried, but not in disappointment, she cried because she was so excited she was going to be a grandma.. then my brother called and she told him “guess whos pregnant?” i guess he had an ow shit moment, like who called you, who did i knock up, but was greatly releaved when she told him it was me. My older younger sister didn't really care, but my youngest sister was really embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know... my mom also told my dad who didn't speak to me for almost 4 months... but that was it.. no talk about future, no talk about what i should do.. your pregnant, your pregnant, will figure it out, get up time to go make the pizzas.

it was starting to get colder out so the general manager picked me up for work.. i got in and he offered me a cigarette and i declined.. hes like what the heck your not pregnant are you... totally in a joking way.. he had no idea.. and i could tell by the look on his face when he saw the look on my face when he asked.. he was like holy shit.. you are...? and he quickly followed with.. its not billys is it?

what? i mean? we don't sleep together?

he was like stop seriously everyone knows..

well ya its billys and i guess i have to tell him..

great... i think i told him that day.. i don't really remember.. he didn't take it horribly.. i mean he didn't get pissed off or bring up abortion.. mostly like hey ur 18, I'm 19, our lives are kinda crazy right now, i still have a girlfriend.. what the fuck.. he also asked if i was sure it was his..

think back.. yup its yours.. i hadn't been with anyone else.. since that creepy guy and he had a vasectomy, yup sorry its yours.. ok will get thru this..

he didn't want his parents to know tho, not right away anyways, and i totally respected that, so did everyone we worked with, and outside of my family, no one really knew.

I got a full time job working for this electronics distributor. My parents were swinging with the owner of the company and his wife so it was an easy in...so i did that during the day and was slinging pizzas at night. It was kinda funny cause after i told billy about the job he made me aware that his sister and aunt also works in the building so don't get chummy with the wrong people... this job sucked... but i was making money, and i was pregnant, so i was doing things right.. i didn't have anything to spend my money on so i just saved and bought a car. all i did was work and spend time with my sisters. Billy was around he would take me to appointments, but he had a girlfriend.. and that wasn't me..

Eventually my dad started talking to me again, after coming home drunk a shit one night and asking me to drive him to a different bar.. we never made it out of the driveway .. he just broke down in tears telling me how shitty of a dad he is and how hes going to be the best grandpa and always love this kid.. i had heard my dad cry several times to me like this about being a shitty dad.. it was always when he was drunk and supposibly moving out.. secretly back then i always hoped he just would already, but then he would pass out and the next morning things would be back to normal.. this situation wasn't much different.. i really didn't care about the things he was saying to me.. he never really talked to me anyways so this wasn't that big of a deal that he hadn't been.. i wasn't affected anyways.. but he said he would always love this baby and i hoped he meant it..

shortly after that my dad called billys parents and let them in on all the news as well... I guess they took it well.. i met his mom and his sister for the first time at dinner at applebees.. by this time I'm like 6 months pregnant.. she was the sweetest lady and i cant say that enough about her.. it was kinda weird that i had never met her before.. but when i was at billys it was for parties when they were out of town.. so.. we didn't cross paths i guess.. she told me that night though that her and billy had a long talk about the baby.. that billy still wasn't positive if it was his but that her family wanted to be very supportive through the rest of the pregnancy but they wanted a paternity test.. so i guess u can see where this is going.. billy continued to take me to my appointments.. his family went out huge for the baby shower... and at 3 oclock in the morning when my water broke they were the first ones i called and they were at the hospital before got there...

well mainly because at 3 oclock in the morning by brother and his friend were just walking in drunk.. and my mom and dad followed... drunk... both my sisters woke up from all the commotion so theres all of us standing in the kitchen and I'm like ok ass holes my water broke whos sober enough to get me to the hospital. so my dad drove me, with my mom in the front and i laid in the back and my dad had my brother and his friend follow him with my sisters and gave him instructions to stay close and not let a cop get behind him, because got forbid someone gets a dui tonight, just get me to the hospital.

the labor was so quick, i remember getting there and they gave me an epidural right away which made me shake uncontrollably and scared my sisters because they though something was wrong.. and then minutes later i felt like i had to poop and they were like shit here comes the baby.. he was born by 6 in the morning.. and there he was .. my beautiful little boy.. my little boy that i knew had just joined me on this journey against the world.. living in my parents basement.. but i wasn't scared.. i knew no matter what things would work out.. i would figure it out.. at least i really freaking thought so.. he was mine and i had to get through this..

being a mom became more routine than anything.. i went back to work and dropped the weight right away.. i was back to me.. not pregnant.. T would be up every night.. all night.. he was so colicky.. then i would get up, go to work and he would be with my mom during the day. i quit the pizza shop so i could be at home with him in the evenings, and billy was taking him every weekend. things went pretty easy for the first 4 months.. i had this working mom thing down..

then the paternity test results came back... Billy you are not the father...

#teen mom #paternity #assault #chat line #wall licker

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