#I still got so many feelings and 0 time to draw them out

[biipbop]

Yuwu doodles

[sysig]

By the skin of your teeth (Patreon)

[2kverrr]

SAM GIDDINGS - Dating Headcanons

UNTIL DAWN || Sam Giddings x Reader

sam had 0 time for drama, especially including that of her own friends'. And being one of emily davis' closest friends basically encased your life in her drama.

you didn't feel as close with sam as you were with the group. but you felt most drawn to her, her maturity, her nurture, her kindness. more or less everything your friends lacked.

she's kickass, not scared to put someone in their place, something you never quite found the confidence to do.

she hates fishing, loves gardening, tolerates publicly accessible nature reserves, enjoys outdoor activities, despises zoos and you're not so sure how you know all of this.

you doubt she knows a single thing about you. it's weird - you can be friends with the top dogs and have some sort of silly superiority over people, yet nobody really knows you.

you and sam had spoken numerous times before, each you could remember were rather enjoyable. the two of you got on really well, but it was rare either of you could get any time alone

that was until you were approximately 4 weeks away from winter break.

"for fuck's sake em, just call him." you groan, your left hand massaging the bridge of your nose, but the girl straight out refused aggressively shoving her hands onto her hips and socking her head, yelling, "how many times do i have to tell you. i? am. not. wanting. i. am. wanted. a girl like me doesn't chase after people, they cha-""emily i'm going to leave you with your problem, since it is yours, not mine. see you at lunch." and with that, you head out of the girls' bathroom and out into the busy corridor.

you catch a glimpse of sam leaning against a locker, scrolling through her phone. There’s an ease in her posture that draws you in despite the weight of your worries - well emily's. “hey, everything okay?” sam looks up, her hazel eyes sharp and assessing. it’s both intimidating and comforting at the same time. you take a breath, trying to shake off the frustration of the last few minutes. “just another day in the life of emily,” you say with a half-hearted chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood. sam arches an eyebrow, not buying the attempt at humour.

"mike? is she still hung up over him?" she asks, her voice laced with understanding. you nod, with a deep sigh and an eye roll. "well, at least you're not like that, that's what I like about you." but you're too caught up in staring at her moving mouth to actually respond, before you know it she's waving her hand in front of your face, "huh- sorry, what were you saying?" she giggles, picking up the books from her locker and beginning to make her leave, "I'll see you around."

that interaction definitely stuck with you, or maybe it didn't, but the fact that you continued to think about it for the rest of the day is a big giveaway.

you're almost certain the corner of your eye spotted a suspicious emily briefly witness the interaction and watch you stare giddings down as she walked away, but that's a conversation for later.

after that talk with the blonde, you both found yourselves in more situations on your own, bumping into each other in the hallway, finding yourselves bored at parties, fixing your makeup in the bathroom mirror and seeing a certain hazel-eyes blonde behind you.

the week of receiving the message from josh, you and sam became really close, almost replacing emily in some way. besides, emily was now happily married off to matt, a sweet boy, not the sharpest tool in the box though.

you'd manage to persuade her to let you give her a lift to josh's mountain getaway, despite her refusal she ended up in your passenger seat feeding you mints as you drive.

you get out of your car and begin to lug bags out, placing them on the floor, sam is busy checking out her surroundings quite contently. but she swiftly turns around to face you, "hey, i wanted to tell you something," you raise your head curiously along with a quirked eyebrow, "i know we've been hanging out a lot lately," she continued, her voice dropping to a more conspiratorial tone. "but it feels different, doesn't it? like, we've really clicked, and I really like it - so please expect me to follow you around like a puppy dog... i still can't look at all the guys the same after last year." her eyebrows furrow. you sigh softly, the gears in your mind turning as you contemplated her words, "i get it sam, i like it too," you smirk, ", now am i taking both of our bags up or are you gonna' lend a hand?" she chuckles, her tension breaking as a playful glimmer replaces her earlier seriousness. "ugh - i really thought i'd get away with that." "i'll take them up for you. just lead the way," you nod, "this place really freaks me out."

settling in was a bit of a cofuffle, sam bagsied our rooms and had already called dibs on a bath.

you'd barely made it up the mountain with yours and her bags before she'd waltzed in, beckoning you to hurry up. don't even start on the wall you had to hop.

"guys, guys, hold your horses. we can't get comfy yet - generators, boilers and locks. i've sent mike and jess off to the generator outdoors, em and matt are... um- somewhere," josh takes a long scan for the couple that weren't present, ", right! sam's bath, boiler's downstairs, switch it on then you can have your beloved bath." she firmly places her hands on her hips and tilts her head, "you think i know how to work those kin-" you're quick to cut her off, "i'll go, can't be that hard." shrugging your shoulders. "that's the spirit, amigo!" the dark-haired boy cheers, fussing up your hair. of course sam's protests began, and again you managed to butt in. "look, i know what i'm doing, trust me.” you say, trying to keep the tension in the room from rising. “it should be pretty straightforward. i'll check for the spark plug first—if it’s clean, just give it a gentle pull. worst-case, i might have to troubleshoot a bit more," there's a bit of a silence, confusion mostly, "yeah, um- my dad's a plumber.” you didn't exactly understand half the words you'd just said but if it gave you a chance at impressing sam, it was so worth it. she slowly smiles, "impressive..." biting her lip, looking you up and down with newfound admiration. "who knew you had all these hidden talents?" she teases, eyes sparkling with mischief. "maybe you can teach me a thing or two about plumbing after this bath fiasco." the playful banter felt like a breath of fresh air amidst the clamour of everyone scurrying around and arguing, and you couldn’t help but swell with pride. “alright, let’s see if I can live up to the expectation,” you reply, trying to sound more confident than you felt. josh looks between the two of you, a devious grin slowly forming on my face, "is this- oh wow. this- this is great!" he turns around, presumably going to find chris and ash, you do the same, not at all looking forward to seeing this 20 year boiler in all it's glory.

fortunately, the boiler hadn't frozen over completely.

the basement was eerie enough, never mind all of the creepy shit happening around you: screams, shouts, smashes. something wasn't right.

like any stereotypical horror movie, you walk right into the danger to find out what was going on."

and as always, you were right. josh's basement was fucked up, led to some sort of mine, where you soon found a battered and bruised mike, stumbling his way through the caved area. his ankle didn't look so good, but he didn't complain

the next half hour you were trying to navigate your way, the poor guy was traumatised, jess had disappeared, dead or alive? not a single clue.

there's apparently somebody or something out there with her and they're in the mines, you're baffled to say the least, but you stayed put.

all until a scream was heard, female, it was far yet so close.

"mike! what was that noise?" the two of you pause your movements, and prick your heads up, faint cries could be heard and the occasional, "anyone! help!" you knew that voice, almost naturally you race over the source of the noise, struggling to find a door, "where's jess? is it her? oh, please say it's her." mike whiles up against the wall while you attempt to barge your way in. "sam! i'm here, mike too. i'm coming in." “almost there!” you shout back to mike, who is still positioned by the flimsy beam of light your flashlights provide. he looks torn between helping you and staying on guard, eyes darting nervously around the oppressive shadows. the urgency in your efforts intensifies, and you feel your fingers digging into the rough surface of the door. it shifts slightly, just enough to give you hope, and with one last shove, it creaks open. you stumble inside, breathless, and immediately the air feels thicker, charged with an unsettling energy. "fuck sam! what the fuck happened?" the girl was tied up in a chair, nothing but a towel. whoever did this must've been fucked in the head, sick. you take a cautious step forward, your eyes zeroing in on the girl’s wide, terrified gaze. “you’re alright now,” you whisper reassuringly, though your own insides are knotting up at the sight. "oh my god, you're here... i- he chased me! th- then-" the blonde leans forwards into you once you complete untying her ankle bounds, sore red marks forming over her pale skin. her arms completely wrap around you, she's freezing. sliding off your hoodie and body warmer, you begin to wrap them around the girl. "-sam, it's okay. you can explain everything later. you safe now we-" but before you can finish your sentence, the girl leans in, connecting your lips in a kiss, short and sweet due to their being a third presence in the room. as your lips part, you both freeze, momentarily caught off guard by the sudden surge of intimacy in the midst of chaos. sam's eyes are wide with surprise, glistening with unshed tears, but there’s a flicker of gratitude behind her fear. you clear your throat, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, but the urgency of the situation quickly pulls you back to reality. "i thought you were dead, y/n.”

after all police interrogation had been completed, those who survived were wasting away. josh dead. matt dead. jess dead. sam and yourself isolated yourselves from the rest.

after sam almost sacrificed herself to save you, you made an oath to yourself that you're forever indebted to her.

you were in love - even amongst the sick and twisted events that you two had to go through.

you both didn't go out as much anymore, your previous party-girl lifestyle completely left behind.

instead you both settled on movie nights or cooking sessions.

you immediately expanded her music taste, she's a great girl but her music taste could definitely do with some improving.

rock climbing dates, kayaking, surfing (which you absolutely smashed - sam could barely stand up on the bored)

sam always managed to convince you to go camping with her, bribing you with all sorts, despite your hatred for bugs.

she's the most peaceful sleeper, she looks like and angel when fast asleep. you're both early birds, which meant you really enjoy spening the morning in bed just admiring one another.

every month or so you'll pay a visit to the friends you lost together, paying respects. hell even josh - sam calls him mentally ill, whereas you call him batshit crazy. but he was your friend, one of our closest, you're still unsure to this day why you were apart of his cruel game but you couldn't keep dwelling on the past so you came to forgive him.

it's even rare to see the friends that made it out alive, you knew chris and ash moved away together, forgetting all that had happened. the last you heard off of mike was "i'm igniting some old flames - definitely going for drinks soon?"

it'd been 3 months and you never went to see him.

you and sam assumed that old flame is emily, your once best friend who you hadn't spoken to since before the disaster.

[artfightdramaconfessions]

I'm really grateful for how artfight reminds me that I'm actually a pretty good artist despite barely having 700 followers on my main art social media which I've been posting on for eight years (I've been drawing properly for 11 years) and getting 0 traction, no comments, 5-20 likes on a post if I'm lucky. A quarter of my following is just my sibling's following because they're a professional. If I put an ounce of care into my social media responses, I'd probably end up quitting art. But I do it for me, and by jove I do it for Artfight. Every July, I draw like a feral creature. The rest of the year I make about half of what I make for artfight.. total.

On Artfight my ratio is always greater than 50%, and I've commented on EVERY drawing I've ever received (except two who ignored my permissions). Plus, I've made friends... who I DON'T feel obligated to draw for and they don't feel obligated to draw for me.

I actually fucking love artfight and I'm proud of how far I've come with it. I LOVE looking back on my shitty attacks from the year that I first started learning digital art. I LOVE comparing them to the attacks that I'm GLOWING PROUD of now - attacks that for once in my life I actually care to watermark. I've been on artfight for MANY years now. I have over 1000 followers, over 100 profile comments, just under 250 defenses and what makes me feel really good is that I have almost 280 attacks. i.e, more attacks than defenses, despite my art and my profile being fairly popular (on artfight) and my hitlists getting over 250 responses this year and 150 last year. I'm putting numbers to give actual benchmarks for where I'm sitting now, after 8 damn years of fighting for this.

Trust me, first years. I had the most toxic, bittersweet, love-hate relationship with artfight for my first three years. It was not fucking easy. I barely got attacked. Half my drawings never got commented on, my ratio was always over 80%, buffered by friends from my high school and some chads from Wattpad (back in the days). I hated getting to the end of a week of artfight and dwelling on how "I drew all this" and "no one wants to draw my characters" and "my art sucks" and "no one attacks me first".

It's hard, it can be disappointing, but it gets so much better and really becomes properly rewarding over time if you just put yourself out there and do it all for YOU and YOURSELF. Draw like crazy. Improve like crazy. Learn new things. Interact. Go crazy bananas and make the most of it, even when it feels like you're not being seen. Advertise yourself on the discord in MAY next year, when the real G's are hanging around and the server is still quiet enough that you aren't posted over all the time. Join hitlists, make hitlists and add a compulsory "which character of mine do you like" question to make people actually look at your page and see how much much they like you/your ocs/your art.

Artfight is pretty awesome. It's hard not to get bogged down by high ratios, but trust me... it gets better. You just gotta do it for you. :) <3 If you're struggling to get defenses, remember you aren't alone and that if you keep fighting... one day in another fight in another year you're going to struggle to keep up with revenges and you're going to anguish over your ratio dropping. I hope you get some art that makes you cry happy tears this year <3

.

[iloveundertaesooomuch]

Some advice from AU Calebs!

Heck yeah I did it! Finally i finished ONE of the HUNDREDS AU crossover ideas I have in my head!! Crossovers are fun guys!! (I apologise for a bad english in advance. Writing this it a rush.)

"It's ok to ask for help." (A Reverse Of Feathers And Mud by @jess-the-vampire)

I couldn't make a crossover meme without the legend. Sorry, not sorry. He is such a sad lad but tries to stay positive and be happy for his family uydfykudsutsudskudsluds (*dies*). I have to admitt, Caleb's dad energy is too strong for me to handle without wanting a hug him. No wonder! He was THE grandpa for centuries straight without a break. At least Caleb gets his whole family together in the end. Comics with him and either Hunter and Philip or Luz and Eda make me run in cirles around the room aaaa.

"You are not a burden." (Brother's Keeper by @idoodlestuffsometimes)

Damn, you definetly created one of the darkest AU in the fandom. Each time I re-read AU related posts I scream my lungs out because it is so angsty and so great. I am genuinely scared of your Belos ngl, because.. this man didnt loose anything and he still proceeds to do all that stuff. Enconter with him has 0 survival rate.

POOR CALEB! At least in the world of memes he had an opportunity to flee the captivity twice (the bald head and the car). This man had no moment of mental rest for centuries oh my God. One of my friends wants to fight his brother personally to protec Caleb at all cost sksksk. Well, at least Hunter will always have an actually loving relative! And if the happy ending is going to be canon, I think the future looks great, especially knowing how much pain all your characters go through currently. (And I think both Caleb and Hunter would need the "you are not a burdain" affirmations. At least some form of support in their situation.)

You said in the latest ask-answer that BK!Caleb was supposed to have white streaks in his hair so I attempted to add them. Hope they look fine! Colors for the outfit I got from Belos, so they would match, I guess???

"Murder is okay." (Loose Strings by @oldmanpip)

My bro, brother, friend... Despite you being not to involved on the discord server, my brain is still rotting with your great awesome AUs. And I know you know that. Your Caleb is really loose in all sences of that word and I love that. Wonder if your AUs will ever be available to the public. Because oh boy oh boy they deserve to be recognised. (Loose Caleb is such a conservative grandpa who never did anything wrong, wdym?)

"Your feelings matter." (Pip In Time by @celestialscribbler)

Honestly? Man, your comic is the reason I got invested in Witteclaw couple at all. Even if the "Pip in time" is not their story, but you wrote their teen romance so sweetly. Those two melted my heart... I scream each time I re-read your comic for 100th time. Just WOAH my brain goes brrr! And Caleb as a character is also written really really well. I love him so much. He is such good brother but MAN HE NEEDS A BREAK FROM BEING AN ADULT! BOY! Insirt crying and heart emojis here.

(PS: hope you still care about your health!)

My thoughts:

I have been drawing this for more than a month I think? And the only reason for that is my university. I hope to actually get an ADHD diagnosis because something is clearly wrong with me. But thats not the point.

There are so many ideas in my head. Goofy and not. The only problem is that I have less and less ability to do what I want lately. I wish I could bring them all to life, but at the same I dont know if anyone will be interested. Would AU crossovers look too self-indulgent? Or nah? Idk. (Just Grimwalker-Isle already has so much potential for stupid ridiculous fun I am runnin on coffee juice.)

Litteraly my mind is plagued with different fun plots and possibilities I am going crazy. But I also have A TON of WIPs that I need to finish. Perhaps I will attempt to manage everything at once, but, no promises.

Wish me luck on my exams!

[revalition]

OCT 23 - PERCEPTION See, hear and smell everything. Let no detail go unnoticed.

perception my beloveds. my lovelies. my darlings. this one is pretty different from what we usually do, idk I wasn't feeling super excited about drawing their design multiple times so just let Conceptualization do whatever they wanted... :)

one thing that was important to me was they don't! get to have hands! because there is no Perception (Touch)! That is Interfacing's job, Interfacing is the fingers (and H/E coordination is the rest of the hands I guess)

anyway lots of quotes and rambly thoughts under the cut!

Okay I have to share this quote from a ted talk we (primarily Logic) watched:

"Imagine being a brain. You're locked inside a bony skull, trying to figure what's out there in the world. There's no lights inside the skull. There's no sound either. All you've got to go on is streams of electrical impulses which are only indirectly related to things in the world, whatever they may be. So perception -- figuring out what's there -- has to be a process of informed guesswork in which the brain combines these sensory signals with its prior expectations or beliefs about the way the world is to form its best guess of what caused those signals. The brain doesn't hear sound or see light. What we perceive is its best guess of what's out there in the world." - Anil Seth

and I was like oughhh this really makes me reconsider how I see Perception's role. There's other evidence that Perception's existence is more "in" the brain than many of the other skills... like, the physical brain, not the mind. Perception (Smell) even directly communicates with the Limbic System, who refers to them as the olfactory system. I touched on it a bit in my electrochemistry post but the olfactory system and limbic system share pathways in the brain which might be why those two are more connected. Of note -- the olfactory system is *only* smell, not any of the other senses.

limbic system even acknowledges it's unhealthy of perception to linger on the apricot smell so much. which is true -- you can even get the thought "Apricot Chewing Gum Scented One" which gives +2 to Perception upon completion.

It also raises the question of if perception observes all the senses and simply labels for you which one they are using to make the observation, or if each of the 5 senses is independent. bet you can't guess what our headcanon is on that :) (subsystem perception and drama my most beloveds)

is this making any sense?? are you seeing my vision here

anyway look how silly they are now <333

thank you perception (sight) it's a trivial check but I like that you could still fail it and just... not be able to see what the lieutenant is showing you

on the same vein I remember something from a while ago where someone had 0 perception and couldn't interact with any doors? My first playthrough I had 1 motorics and I feel like I remember putting something on that dropped my perception to 0 and I couldn't get into my room at the whirling... but I could be completely misremembering both these things. If this rings a bell please tell us haha

perception in the dream :(((

perception (smell)'s comment here is so funny to me. they are *so* excited to sneeze

your nose denying rhetoric's claims to smelling communism never stops being hilarious. it did *not* tell you that and it is not taking responsibility!

WHY is this perception (hearing) ????

nooo detective hyperopia go get reading glasses. Also harry can go find the prescription lenses and put them on and perception is like no! -1 perception! nausea-inducing hell glasses! which -- fair, they're the wrong prescription and probably for nearsightedness. but harry probably is like what do you waaant

yes yes I love this one

hghh perception fail nooo

does our harry have tinnitus? :(

thank you for the clarification on the speaker quantity

they get so excited when they get to smell something!!

perc (sight) calling you sir?

they like the well laid pallet <3

🥺

hggh perc (smell) is so funny

this whole thing, of you sniffing your nasty toilet ledger, is *so* funny. "Quelle fuckin' surprise" lives in my head and has been integrated into our vocabulary

a few more for the alternate dialogue choices!

Love this one... it's so cool.

super trustworthy perc (hearing) over here

rare wonderful perc (taste) !!!

thank you for the insight. this is a medium difficulty check btw

ty perception (sight) ily

description of how evrart's container smells if you were wondering...

though the perception passive fails are also always delightful --

PERCEPTION (SMELL) - ... an office? Something officious? Is that a word? There's a bit of dust in the air that may be triggering your allergies.

that is a word, but that's not what it means love. Authority is officious, not the shipping container

ough this one is such a cool quote. and it upsets you.

I just suffered volition damage from another perception quote (not included here) dammit. this game. Ily perception but also why you gotta perceive so much

love this one. love that perc (sight) is able to read the headline on a scrap of newspaper drifting by (legendary difficulty check)

lastly including this one... one of only two difficulty 20 passives in the game. The electrochemistry check is difficulty 14 -- he can pick up on it long before your nose has a chance to. the smell will haunt you forever.

there are also a few instances of Perception having dialogue without the sense being specified. I picked through my DE screenshots but didn't have any instances so I'm unsure if it's a fayde quirk or not. I feel like I remember seeing it happen in game but... not certain. It is interesting though, might happen when you're using multiple senses at once. Also seems to happen in instances where the touch sense would usually come in (there is no perception (touch)).

I assumed for ages that perception was the 5 senses, so realizing there's only sight, hearing, smell and taste was surprising. Interfacing takes over the touch aspect pretty much entirely. And the inland is your 6th sense ofc <3

also our Logic is the neuroscience nerd so if our amateur insights are wrong go ahead and call him out :)

Ok! that's it for perception!! not gonna finish skilltober by end of october but that's okay, it'll trail into early november a little

[rielzero]

Original by for-tymora's blog, altering this slightly and removing some bits to prevent overly spoiling my oc.

30 Questions for Your Tav! [ Ask Meme ]

Your Tav as a Companion

1. What would your Tav’s greetings be (at different levels of approval)?

Negative (<0):

He stares just at you, Clicking his tongue in an annoyed tone.

"Got nobody else?"

"I would prefer if you'd find a better source of entertainment."

Neutral (0 - 19):

"Seems like you've got something to say."

He stares at you, just raising a brow and cocking his head sideways.

“This better be important.”

Medium and up (20+):

"Hmm? Sorry, you caught me off guard."

"Feeling chatty? I don't mind."

"I'm all ears." Gestures to his ears.

When spoken to by someone other than the player character:

"I'd prefer to be in touch with someone better suited for important conversations. No small talk."

Flirting:

Pretends he wasn't intensely eyeballing your back earlier, winks.

"Something wrong, love?"

"Hey, caught you staring.''

"I was hoping you'd talk to me."

"You're looking dreamy today."

"Hello, love."

"..Hmm? Hmm.." He seems happy.

"I was wondering when you'd need me again."

Partnered:

"Hello, partner in crime." Mischief on his face.

"Say what you need, I'm here to listen."

Act 3 Vampire - Partnered:

"You look hungry, or maybe I'm... Heh."

"Ask me anything, anything, anything.."

"I'd kill if it'd make you happy."

"My love, we are so close to victory, I can almost touch it." (To Astarion Origin)

''You're looking splendid and magical today.'' (To Gale Origin)

"Yes, my sun?" (To Astarion Origin)

''Yes, my love?''

Broken up:

He Just looks at you emptily, and disappointed. Dead eyed.

2. Describe their tent setup! What’s on the outside? The inside?

It's the most put-together you've even seen. Stitched to the brim, looks like it can collapse and barely covers the bedroll. Has a bunch of bags surrounding it and crates to support the rest, kind of like a pillow-fort situation.

3. What would their character quest be titled? Why?

I personally haven't decided on this yet. Rat-themed perhaps, or something to do with him looking sickly.

4. What would your Tav’s romance scenes look like? How many would they have?

Probably depends on the Origin character, I can't picture him being romanced by anyone other than Gale or Astarion at this time. There would be romance and bonding scenes.

5. Describe their idle animations!

Cracking neck, cracking bones, stretching uncomfortably.

Pondering, tapping his foot on the ground with arms folded.

Wiping his face and looking at his hand for a moment before wiping it off his pants.

Tightening his arm wraps (would look like he's rubbing his lower arms.)

Casting Shocking Grasp, just to look at the sparks in his hands, then waves it off.

Pulling out his journal and browsing through it or jotting something down.

Sitting down and drawing (Stops upon approach.)

Act 3 idle Animations would be conditional adittions.

Poking his teeth, then stare at his finger..

Observe his wrist scars, turning it around and stroking it.

Scratch his neck scars, stretch.

Looks like he's smelling something, clearly bothered by it.

Pull out a bottle of blood and sip from it excessively.

Sitting down and drawing (doesn't stop when approached.)

6. How would the player go about meeting them in Act 1? What is their introduction?

I've done a post on this before I think, but it would be in the location near the intellect devourers, hunched over and trying to keep himself from hurling.

8. After Act 3, What are they talking about at the reunion party?

Probably about the change of appearance and hairstyle, and how he's doing better than he was after the defeat of the netherbrain. He's still settling down and getting used to things, 6 months wasn't enough.

Back to Basics

9. What’s the significance behind your Tav’s name?

Locke misspells his name, because he came up with it when he was sixteen. In his mind, Loki is written Locke at first because it sounds like ''Lock-i'' to him, he was the lockpicker in a gang of orphans.

10. Does your Tav have a last name? Is there a meaning behind it?

He comes up with it on the spot, it means ''Trick'' and its very much meant to be a trick.

12. Does your Tav have any tattoos or scars? Why?

Locke's facial tattoo is magic ink, its a protective ward of sorts. Won't elaborate. His scars are all from abuse, different people.

13. What is your Tav’s main color palette? Why do they choose those colors?

Has a strong attachment to purple because of his dead childhood friend, who was a purple tiefling.

14. Where are they from? What was home like?

Baldurian sewers. Not much of a home, more like a nightmare.

15. Is your Tav more likely to fight/flight/freeze/fawn?

He fights in most cases.

17. Do they have any enemies outside of the main plot? Any friends?

He has acquaintances, his closest being a fatherly figure, The Undertaker, Jermaine.

Deep Dives

20. What is their relationship to touch? Do they shy away from it? Do they need it to feel present?

Very much touch-starved, but dislikes casual friendly touch because he's afraid of affection at first.

21. Describe a defining moment from their past, which makes them who they are today!

He has CPTSD, it wouldn't be a singularity, though I'd say the moment he became a warlock is pretty big.

22. How is your Tav’s relationship with their family? Their parents?

The woman who raised him thoroughly abused him, so did the other orphans he was raised with. As adults, their relationship is strained and reduced to just being familiar with one another. He doesn't view them as family. He simply can't.

24. What does your Tav consider to be their own biggest character flaw?

He desires to have something of his own, but fails to give it a place. He feels like everything that he does have will never be completely his own, at times. (I'm being vague on purpose.)

25. What is something they would die on a hill over?

Wizards being prone to explosiveness. He will not accept the reality that some wizards never blow themselves up in any capacity. They're all one wrong step away from exploding themselves.

27. What is the worst thing they think they’ve ever done/said to someone they loved?

Say no to his ex-boyfriend.

28. Describe a smell that reminds your Tav of childhood.

..Cooked Dwarf roast.

29. What fears keep them up at night?

Sleeping in the dark.

30. What does your Tav want more than anything?

Power, or to feel like he's worth something.

[skipper1331]

World Cup Loss // Mary Fowler

a/n: based off this request.

"Baby, look what your mom just sent me!" you shouted as you made your way over to Mary who was sitting on the couch with her laptop on her lap. "Show me" your body flopped next to her as she closed her laptop.

It was a picure of the two of you after a u20s game. Mary had her arm around your torso while you talked to her dad. Your faces were still a little sweaty, a result from playing 90 minutes but nonetheless you looked beautiful. Mary had the biggest heart eyes as she looked at you, smiling widely.

Everyone around could see that Mary was so in love with you.

"Why didn‘t she sent me that picture?" the striker pouted.

"She loves me moreeee" you replied, cheeky. "She does" Mary agreed as she pulled your legs over her lap, her eyes like on the picture: heart eyes.

"Because you‘re one of a kind-"

Your bubble was broken when your phone rang, both of you looking at it. "Coach. What shall I do? Oh god. Mary, what shall I do?" You shoved your phone right in front of her face, waving nervously with it.

"Take it, love" her voice was calm - the complete opposite of you, you were panicking.

You accepted the call while you stood up, "Hello," internally hitting yourself at the weird greeting with your quevering voice.

The world stopped.

Your face went pale whilst you could just listen to Tony Gustavsson.

"Thank you… yes… have nice day!" were your last and only words before you hung up, your phone slipping out of your hand.

"My love? Are you alright? What happened?"

Mary turned you around so she could look at you - herself standing. "I did it," you whispered in disbelief, "I really did it. I‘m in the squad."

"Baby! That‘s amazing! I‘m so proud of you" she hugged you in a death grip, spinning you around. Utterly in shock, you couldn‘t even hug her back.

Not even two seconds later after she‘d put you down her phone started ringing.

'Tony Gustavsson'

"My phone! Argh! What shall I say?" Now, she was the one panicking - you calm. "Take it" you repeated her words, your hand finding hers.

Mary was shaking slightly yet smiling, nodding along. "Thank you! Bye!"

"We‘re going to the World Cup, baby!" squealing, she picked you, your legs wrapping around her waist as you held her face. "I‘m so so proud of you," each word said between kisses.

"We‘ve been dreaming about this since we‘re little. Baby, we‘re going to a World Cup!"

Her lips found yours, kissing them passionately. All you could think about was Mary, the way her lips felt on your own. The slow movements of her tongue made you go crazy, desiring more. Pulling away, your lover attached her lips to your neck, sucking on a certain spot where she knew it made you weak. "Mary" you whimpered, breathlessly, your hips grinding against her while her hands rested on your bum.

"I love you, i love you so much"

-

Australia vs Ireland

Starting XI, Mary and you made it. You were in the lineup. Nervous wouldn‘t even describe what you felt when you entered the changing room. You were jittery and excited, you couldn't sit still for a minute, not even when Mary braided your hair like she always did.

The feeling to walk on the pitch, a complete nation behind you who supported you was absolutely amazing. It was just wow.

When Steph slotted that penalty, the whole stadium went crazy as well you did. You jumped screaming on your teammates, overcome with joy.

The first goal of many, hopefully.

The next game was against Nigeria, Mary was on the bench while you were in the starting lineup. It was a rough game, you couldn’t do more than assist Emily to make it 1-0 yet shortly after, the draw was made.

It was 1-1 at half time - nobody was happy. At the 60th minute, you got subbed off, not happy with your performance. You took a seat next to Mary who was watching you closely. She wanted to tell you that she was proud of you but she didn‘t, she remained silent. She knew the signs. She knew when the right moment was to say something to you or when it was better to be quiet. In that moment, it was better to be quiet, to just be there.

5 minutes after your substitution, Nigeria went in the lead with 2-1. To be honest, you didn‘t know how to feel. This was the group stage everything was possible. And it was dangerous. You hoped that your team would make it 2-2 but then Oshoala made it 3 to 1. Your teammates looked exhausted but still determined. They had hope - you had hope.

In the 90+10th minute Alanna made the score line 3-2 but it wasn‘t enough. Australia had lost by one goal.

You laid in Marys arms, searching for comfort. Why didn't you play better? "I can hear your thoughts," the striker whispered, your legs tangled together as she played with your hair, "You need to believe, my love. I‘ll promise you we‘ll make it past the group stage"

And you did.

Canada vs Australia, you had to win. Everyone was confident. Australia could do it. The fighting spirit of each individual player was there, the communication and tactics worked and the 1-0 came by. Hayley Raso scoring a banger. The stands erupted in cheers and 20 minutes later, the one and only Hayley Raso scored again.

2-0

If you thought the stadium was loud before, hell no, now, every fan was screaming at the top of their lungs.

Despite the fact that the score was 2-0 at half-time, Canada shouldn't be underestimated. Canada had world class players like Sinclair, Fleming, Leon and many more. The whole squad was full of top players. But Australia played at its best. As the 58th minute came, it was the time to shine for your girlfriend, this time for real. Her goal counted. You were the first to jump on her as your teammates followed. "THAT‘S MY GIRL!" you yelled, not only you and your teammates but the whole nation was proud. You wanted to kiss her - you didn‘t. This was a world cup match, not a place to kiss. Yet she would receive that well deserved kiss later.

Last but not least Steph made the score 4-0. You kind of felt sorry for Canada but this was a World Cup.

After the game you talked to some canadian players and comforted them. Yes, you were happy you won but seeing the others cry hurt a bit, you knew a lot of them.

At the end you swapped your shirt with Jessie Fleming as a reminder. You didn't mean to be mean in any way, it was common to swap shirts and the Canadian jerseys looked really nice, to be honest.

Behind closed doors you kissed Mary, you kissed her like the proud girlfriend you were. You kissed her the way she deserved to be kissed.

And she kissed you like you were the only one, she kissed you like she would lose you. You laid in bed, kissing and holding each other. You made it past the group stage. "You were right," you mumbled in her neck, half asleep, "We made it"

"I promised you, my girl. You know I never break my promises." She pressed a gentle kiss to your head before she fell in to a slumber, exhausted from the day.

-

Round of 16.

Some people thought that wasn‘t much but this wasn't true at all. It was already the first knock-out game in a world championship where nobody went down without a fight. Everyone tried to do their best as a team and individual. And for Australia's luck (and talent) it went 1-0, Caitlin Foord scoring and Hayley Raso making it 2-0. The team was overcome with joy. They survived their first Knock-out match and were about to play in a quarterfinal - against France. Tough call. France was a top team.

The game started with you on the bench and Mary in the starting XI, she looked so good.

The perfect chance came in the 40th minute for Australia. The french goalkeeper besides the goal, Mary shooting. Out of nowhere came de Almeida who managed to prevent the goal. Your heart stood still for a moment as well of your teammates on the bench, basically everyones heart stopped beating for a moment in the stadium. Everyone thought the ball was going in for sure but it didn‘t. Mary was angry and disappointed yet it wasn't a reason to give up, you had to admit de Almeida did a really great job defending the goal.

0-0 at half time.

0-0 at the 90th minute.

Extra time.

You were subbed on but couldn't help to make the lead. It was going in to penalties. Australia was nervous but determined.

France started but missed.

Foord 1-0

Diani 1-1

Catley 1-1

Renard 1-2

Kerr 2-2

Le Sommer 2-3

Fowler 3-3

At this point you were a nervous wreck, holding on to your teammates, praying that you would win.

Périsset 3-3

Macca on fire!

Arnold 3-3

Geyoro 3-4

Gorry 4-4

Karchaoui 4-5

Yallop 5-5

Lakrar 5-6

Carpenter 6-6

Dali 6-6

Macca saving not once but twice.

Hunt 6-6

Gosh, your heart couldn‘t take it anymore.

Bècho 6-6

Steph and Sam both looked at you. You had to take that penalty. You've never been a fan of penalties, you've either shot over the goal or hit the post and now you should take the winning penalty. They were crazy. Your face should have told them that you didn't want to, that you couldn't but you had no other choice. You had to do it. Slowly, you walked to the penalty area, many cameras were pointed at you, the whole world could see how nervous you were. However, once you had put the ball on the spot, your whole face changed. Your face was stone cold, no sign of nervousness.

Mary was sweating, hoping, wishing. You had to do this. For your own sake and Australias.

You took three steps back, one to the side.

The world stopped, Durand dived right and your shot went left. You scored!

Y/L/N 7-6

Australia made it. They‘re in the semi-final. Your whole team jumped on you, shouted roars of passion, feeling energetic.

In the locker room, Macca and you in the middle of the circle as everyone sang and danced around you. They celebrated you. Mary watched you closely, she felt so much joy - seeing you, winning, about to play in a semi-final. As you stretched out your hand for Mary to join you she instead pulled you close, kissing you in the middle of the changing room. Your friends wolf-whistled while your cheeks turned red.

"I love you"

-

You had lost against England.

Toone scored first, wasn‘t great but Australia still had a chance then in the 63rd minute Sam equalized.

71st minute, Hemp 1-2

86th minute, Russo 1-3

It hurt, tears streamed down your face as you pulled your shirt over your head, sitting defeated on the grass. You wanted to hide from the world, you gave everything and it wasn't enough. You didn‘t know what to do. You wanted to be at Marys side but couldn‘t move. "I‘m sorry," Alex Greenwood whispered as she had her hand on you neck, squatted down. She was like a mentor to you, a big sister, one of the first people who made Machester feel like home, "I‘m proud of you" she gave your forehead a kiss before she left you alone. Esme, Chloe and Lauren giving you a hug which you appreciated. You left as soon as you could, you didn‘t listened what Gustavsson said, you couldn‘t. It fell to death ears. You wanted to go home.

Mary felt devastated, heart broken.

That night, you laid in each others arms, holding on to one another as if the other would disappear. There was so much to say but neither of you could. Silent tears were rolling down your faces, fingertips wiping them away, softly.

For hours you laid in silence, seeking comfort in the touch of your lover. "I don‘t know what to say," Mary whispered, her hands holding your waist in manner of comfort, "i have so much to say but i don‘t have the words…"

"I know.."

"It- it just hurts, so much. I couldn’t do anything to help the team. And- and looking at you hurts because you- you look so sad while you probably feel the same. I don‘t know."

Your thumb caressed her cheek as a single tear rolled out of her eye. "I‘m so proud of you, Mary. It's not optimal how it went, for sure but other nations didn't even make it that far. At the end of the day, we can be proud of ourselves even if it hurts," you whispered, "We can win 3rd place"

You didn‘t. Australia had lost 2-0 against Sweden. It stung.

This time, Mary was by your side. She didn‘t want to be anywhere else. She hugged you as if her life depened on it, crying in your neck. You wanted to whisper sweet nothings in her ear like you always did when she cried but you couldn‘t. You grieved as well. Seeing Sweden get their medals hurt, seeing all those happy faces while you felt pain yet Sweden deserved it, they played fantastic, no matter if some fouls happened. As you watched their ceremony the complete Australia team sat on the ground, looking exhausted and broken. Mary had her arm around you, needing to feel your touch to somehow ease her pain, as your head rested on her shoulder. Comforting one another.

"love?" you asked. She squeezed your hip to let you know she was listening. "Do I think I can ask Rolfö for her shirt?"

Fridolina Rolfö was one of your favorite players, she was just wow, you liked the way she played and her unique talent. Though you didn‘t know If it was the right time to ask her yet you didn‘t know when or If you would ever play against her again.

Chuckling at your admiration torwards the blonde, your lover pulled you close, "Go for it, baby." You looked at her, a smile covering your face.

"Do you think she‘ll give it to me?"

"You have to find out"

Your teammates swarmed out to talk to a few of the swedish players (Steph talked to Stina, Sam with Magda,…).

Yes, you lost an important game but that didn't mean you don't show respect or sportsmanship to your friends.

Nervously, you made your way to Rolfö, "Hi?" your voice was shaking. "Hey!" the tall blonde greeted you, smiling fondly at you, "Umm do- do you wanna swap shirts? With me?" Awkward! Mary watched you, laughing to herself at your nervous state. She could imagine what you just said. "Sure! I‘d love to" Rolfö replied, already taking off her shirt. You turned around, respecting her privacy - there was none in the stadium but still, you respected her and Mary. You took off your jersey as well, handing it to her as you swapped. "Th-thank you" gosh, you were an awkward mess. To be fair, who wouldn‘t?? She pulled you in a hug, thanking you for your shirt and the game before you walked to your girlfriend who grinned. "Fridolina Rolfö just hugged me" you said, not believing what happened.

Back at the hotel, the team ate together before everyone went to their rooms. Your pain wasn‘t away and maybe it would never go away but you would come back stronger, the whole team would.

You were already laying in bed as Mary joined you, her head rested on your chest as her hand laid on your stomach, tracing patterns. "I love you" she whispered, feeling the urge to tell you. Her mind was back at the match, what she could‘ve done better. "Look at me" her eyes found yours, they looked so sad "I‘m disappointed, too. We wanted more and we could‘nt achieve it. It‘ll hurt for a while but we changed this sport forever. Look at us, look at Australia, look at all the little girls, we can be proud"

"When did you become so wise?"

"it’s always been in my nature" giggling, she started tickling you. Hovering above you, she stared at you with so much love, the same way as on the picture her mom sent you which was also her wallpaper, by the way, the same way like all those years ago: with heart eyes.

The out-come of the World Cup wasn‘t the result you wanted but at the end of the day you could be proud of yourselves.

The Matildas would come back stronger.

—————————

[layalu]

1, 2, 3, 4, 12, 19, 23, 25, 28, 31, 39, 40, 43, 44, 50 OC BLAST!!!💥

[ask game]

OOO SO MANY >:0 Ty!!!

1. Your first OC ever?

answered here, but to name a different one: the first OC i made that wasn't a warrior cat rp character was Layalu (my namesake! :D)! I made him intended as my fursona because everyone had fursonas and i thought they were SO cool so i wanted one too really badly. I followed a guide for it and everything!! It said that fursonas usually took a long time to make and they are supposed to represent you and all that but i mostly just wanted something Cool TM. So i looked at all the colour symbolism and put every colour with Deep Meaning TM in there and he got to be a lion (they're neat and i liked drawing them) and a dragon tail and wings because dragons are epic. I was very torn between making him male or female for a bit because i really wanted him to have a mane and kid me did not yet have the epiphany that i can make him a female and still give him a mane. Anyways. Cue 11 year old me scribbling furiously to make An Epic Fursona and the result was This Guy

actually i lied a little this was already his 2nd iteration that happened after one (1) day. Se those bits with green shining through? yeah lol i decided that was one colour too much. He also only managed to stay my fursona for a month or so before he converted into an OC rip. So. yea! Layalu origin story :)

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

answered here and here (Sam and Stormy), but Liam's also up there as a fave, he rotates back in as Blorbo Of The Day a lot xdd Just something about his swaglessness and The Hawke Tragedy and his devotion to his family that Got Me. Also, he is super fun and easy to draw for me so that is also a bonus

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Surprising, yes! this guy!

I never really got into adoptables and OC trades since i tend to make guys within established rp groups/games/etc, but this guy was an adopt raffle within one of those groups :] Sadly i only did very little with him but i do love his silly awkward nerd ass <3

4. A character you rarely talk about?

Mmm another more recent/"active" one who doesn't get much screentime is Ulhar (my tav)! Ulhar i am so sorry that i didn't latch on to you or bg3 properly i hope i can make it up to you in a replay 😔😔 Either way though she is my silly lizard rogue who is soooo normal about attachment and loyalty and vulnerability i prommy.

^ the silly in question

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

SO MANYY!!!!!! including yours i love your birdies,,, but. shoutout to @a-drama-addict's Chloe Hawke she's been in my mind and my heart since *checks notes* 2021 and i still care her lots <333

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

answered here (Desertblaze) but another one who means a lot to me is Stormyrain! Yes, also a warriors one flksjfdls but she was a gateway character to meeting a lot of friends and in general just. a lot of experiences and people who were/are important to me, and she was the first time that i got really properly invested and attached to an oc's relationships (and with that, other's ocs also), and i remember that one time i got so proud about writing out her ref sheet because it was the first time that i felt like i captured the personality and vibe and depth that i wanted for a character. I still reuse iterations of her for other things sometimes, or just doodle her for funsies :)

feeling nostalgic so here's my original tryout/concept art that i did of her before she was even Official :)

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

...most of them fjsfjdslj. I rarely go in With A Plan and even when i do it. basically never works out oops.

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

Hmm i don't think i have any one character that is The Most Like Me TM, they just all will have some thing or another that's like me. June has a similar brand of logical reasoning as me. Liam sings in a similar way that i do. Noya has my flavour of Artist Stare. Ylva has my like for baking. And so on.

28. Your most dangerous OC?

Depends on the type of dangerous!

Ari can end a guy's entire career if he so wishes. Kala used to to be professionally Dangerous for a living. June has the most raw potential to cause Large Scale Physical Damage

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Oh Ylva would have sooo much fun making her blog theme pretty; purple and mint with skulls, and a scarab cursor! Would struggle with the code and would probably ask someone else for help though. Would mostly post moodboards and photography and anything that catches her attention; lots of scenery and historical places and trinkets and the like! Also, food!! funky cake decorations, recipes, that kinda stuff. And quotes and literary analysis and things like informative ramble posts from people about places they've been or cool things they found.

39. Introduce any character you want

Hands u. my KHUX key kid. who i've barely ever drawn and who has almost nothing to him. but i miss him i hope he's doing well (<- if i remember The Lore correctly he is not, in fact, doing well)

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

So so so many!!! Recently-ish i was going through some old rp chats that i had with Sam and his family and my god. i miss them so much i love them so much.

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

answered here for a bunch of recurring physical traits but hmm. some other things

noticed the other day that many MANY of my guys have some very deep loyalty or love of some kind that is central to them

consistently bad at naming things. on account of *i* am bad at naming things lol

aspec. not even on purpose it just Happens

also very often nd. also not on purpose lol

there is. definitely more but brain is mush rn fkjsjdfslfjls

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

Hmm i think i'm pretty good at taking a Vague Guy and slowly padding them out! And kinda. making A Whole Guy out of the vague concept as i go and piece things together :)

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

Alder on the brain. I am squeezing him like a stressball. poor guy just keeps being unwell in all sorts of ways. rip buddy hope you get better soon

[riddler-green]

I fell in love with your writing omgg:0 so Edward finds out that the person he likes (with whom he is obsessed lmao) is a fan of riddler and even has a crush on him 9v9

Te observo.

Summary: Edward discovers that you are a follower of his alter ego.

A/n: hheeeeeeeey hi! how are you?? after a long pause I'm back! in Mexico it's semana santa holidays! sooo I finally have time to catch up with the requests! besides, yesterday I sprained my ankle but that gives me more time to write and I'll be better soon. (´ ε ` )♡

by the way i hope you like it! and thank you very much for the request! I think I got carried away so I'm sorry if it's not what you expected. (*^.^*)

warning: swearing, obsessive behavior, Fluff!

Words: 3,800

Edward played with one of his feathers, pressing the feather spring to relax from his growing anxiety. He knows that looking at you for a long time is strange but he can't stop doing it. From the first time he saw you, he was completely immobile with wonder, every day he delighted in seeing you. He thought you never knew of his existence, because despite being co-workers and practically working in similar jobs, he was too shy to even speak to you, so he assumed you never even glanced at him. In his mind, he had these innocent little fantasies that someday you would pay attention to him and he would gladly see you without guilt or looking like a freak. But he is a coward, a man who fears what he already knows will happen at some point.

That's why he doesn't try, he doesn't want to face that rejection that already hangs on his forehead, yet he still thinks of you, even in his dreams you appear as a sweet reminder of his memory. He sighs with love for the mere fact that you existed. 

"Hey, I need this document by Monday" Zach interrupts his admiration with an authoritative voice, Edward coughs falsely to distract himself from the fact that he was watching you instead of working "yeah, um, of course" he replies to Zach and the man in the blue suit out of his sight without saying goodbye.

Edward contemplates the files in his hands, sheets after sheets of payrolls that in a couple of hours, he would solve all, back in his mind he wonders if you like numbers too, well, it's not like he could ask you, he arranged the files in alphabetical order and before he started working a scream stops him.

"It's official!" a voice Edward doesn't know speaks again, when he turns to see who it is he looks at a human rights employee pasting a sign on the bulletin board "It is officially forbidden to talk about The Riddler and The Batman!" The employee speaks loudly drawing the attention of the other employees, others ignore him but saw the sign, and others stared at him still processing the news.

Edward gasped, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry, did they just ban them from his office? He does not know how to take it, is he considered a danger to the company? His face does not reflect the emotion he keeps inside, Batman and he have taken relevance in the city, as new icons of justice, although the Riddler remains a sensitive issue for many.

"May I know the reason?" he flinched at the sound of your voice, he saw your figure approach the statement already taped to the board and you examined it completely, uh, that surprised Edward, as far as he remembers you were always a model employee, you don't generate problems, your sign in and out sheet is flawless (it's not like he's seen it) your documents are just as good, but seeing you now he worries, why are you angry?

Edward watches as you chat with the human resources employee, apparently not a pleasant chat, as you return to your seat with an angry look on your face. He can't take his eyes off your scowl until you turn up to type something on your computer.

Edward sighs, so many repressed things he has inside his being and unfortunately, it's not something he can get it out, the love he has for you is one of those things he can't undo (he doesn't want to), as for him, it feels like a small stain on his office.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

"Damn KMTJ, don't they know they are doing them a favor?" you whisper to yourself angrily, abruptly typing the last report of the day, there was no need to forbid talking about a certain topic, you stopped typing for a moment. 

Remember the first time you saw him, your idol, yes, that's right, your idol. If someone found out that you were part of that select radical group of Riddler's followers they would probably send you on an all-expense paid trip straight to Arkham, but do you care? No, honestly no, the admiration you have for the masked man is something genuine and devoted. In the past you only engaged with him, you only had ears to hear about events happening in the city and you couldn't agree more, his speeches moved you so much that you never missed any of his videos, and you even participated in some clandestine demonstrations with the significant question mark sign.

Until one day he unknowingly broke your heart.

You stared at the monitor screen as you remembered the precise moment when your heart broke in two, those seconds when The Riddler declared in one of his lives, that he fell in love.

You cried that day and the day after that, and the day after that, your life turned into a mess for the simple fact that you Riddler already set your eyes on someone else. In your darkest thoughts, you wanted that person to reject him or disappear from his life, even though you wouldn't stand a chance anyway.

But then came another problem named Edward Nashton.

The first thing you saw in him was his sad eyes covered by the lenses of his glasses, such melancholic eyes that you only wanted to give him affection and love. But then you notice that glow in his person, a shy and helpful glow that at all costs wants to help others, a caring soul that does his job excellently and brilliantly since then Edward flits through your mind as a reassurer of the suffering that the Riddler left you.

But still, you didn't dare to talk to him, when you watched him walk in the door in the mornings you shrank back in cowardice, you didn't want to suffer another brutal rejection from someone else, oh please Edward must already have a bunch of suitors, you crudely think starting to work again to distract yourself from your frustrating love life.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

One day, Edward received a message from his computer specially made for his other job, a homemade laptop with other computer parts, and a private message from his forum as it happened every day.

>> Hi! This, um, Mr.Riddler I admire your mission and your vision of what you want for this city, I know you probably don't know me but I just want to say that I want to be a part of your mission toward a safer Gotham for the future.

Edward's first impression from you is a, mmhm, another message from a random supportive follower, he noticed another message in the inbox.

>> Extraclassified Documents.zip 

>> I got this information for you, I don't doubt you are a great hacker to find this information on your own, but um, I just want to help you.

>>I swear, this is official information.

>>From KMTJ.

What?

Edward was puzzled when he read the final message. Maybe it was his imagination playing a joke on him, maybe he was too tired from the hours he hasn't slept but he was sure he read it right.

>>From KMTJ.

>>From KMTJ.

>>From KMTJ.

Fuck, is that what he thinks it is? He opens the document and it is what the file name says, it's not a virus as he expected, it's case files that have to do with the renovation, signed by Mr. stone, his fucking boss.

Edward turns away from the screen extremely surprised and puts his hands to his head touching his hair, a mole, there's a mole in his company and damn it, he's helping him.

He tries to figure out who it could be from his colleagues, these files are only possessed by the accountants in his section, which is almost a dozen people including you. He thinks of random names and shakes his head, no one in his office has shown empathy for his alter ego, so, it probably must have been another hacker who wants to help him.

He scratches his neck nervously, this puts him on edge because when he looks at the documents his follower gave him he notices the signatures of all his classmates, including his and yours.

Ha, ironically he thinks how nice your signature and his would look on a marriage certificate.

He leans back in the seat re-reading the documents, should he take this as a threat to his identity? No, he protects all his data like gold, this is probably a coincidence. But then an uncomfortable feeling arises in him, you are also included in these files, and your identity could be at risk.

He types heavily on his computer trying to find out the data of the follower who gave him all this, but he found nothing, a fake VPN, fake data, his follower is smart, mmm, not bad.

How did you get this?

His follower responded at that instant.

>> I...

>>I work there.

Holy cow, his head explodes with anxiety, but little by little he becomes proud of the influence his words have on others, he is not as alone as he expected. 

>>? who are you?

He didn't think when he wrote that, silly Edward, do you think he will answer you, obviously his follower didn't answer.

Edward started printing the newly discovered files while contemplating the board above him, so many things were put on that board it was hard to concentrate on one, he saw the pictures of the corrupt he killed and the next ones on his list, he sees the pictures of Batman and he also sees your pictures, he put them in his work center to calm down when he had seizures. 

Oh, he doubts you'll notice him someday, but dreaming is free.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

Mr. Stone kept a straight face stroking his beard and looking at the leaves in front of him, Zach, Edward, and you waited patiently for him to say his next orders, Edward started sweating from nerves and shyness, as he stood next to you the whole moment he was almost sure he could smell you and god, you smell so good.

"The Riddler has been a kick in the ass for this company" stated Mr.Stone rudely turning his eyes away from the sheets to focus on the three standing behind his large desk "You are the best accountants we have in the section, tell me how the Riddler could have so much information on the renovation?" Mr. Stone asked the air and Edward swore he was already shaking, easily excused but all this overwhelmed him, the hard look of his boss, you being so close to him, he can't stand it.

"Thank you for your confidence sir, but believe me I have no idea how that happened" Zach opines smoothing his blue suit, and Mr.Stone does not respond.

"The Riddler is smart sir" you started to speak and Edward turned around surprised by what you said "I fully understand that you think there is a mole in our company, but most likely the mole has infiltrated our system" you explain formally and Edward gawks at what you say You think The Riddler is smart? That strokes his ego.

Mr. Stone takes a moment to respond, he sighs tiredly leaning back in his chair "Yeah that's the same thing I thought, I just wanted to know what you guys think" Mr.stone started to speak again but Edward had already disconnected from reality by then, you flattered him, well, you flattered the Riddler and that makes his cheeks heat up. 

Edward knows he's getting closer and closer to the mole, it's not Zach, he barely knows it's a prime number, however you...

Hahahaha, no.

You came out of your thoughts when you heard Mr. stone say goodbye to the three of you, Zach came out of the office first with phone in hand to call someone as soon as he left, the second to leave was you, with your head held high and making Edward admire you closely, you turned to see him when he closed the door of Mr. stone's office.

"Hey, Edward, right?" you raise your hand in greeting and he quickly accepts "um, yeah, it's me" he clarifies nervously but was glad he didn't look stupid when you spoke to him.

"Do you have any idea who it could be? You know..." you start walking and Edward follows your step listening carefully to what you are going to say "the mole?" you finish your question going down step by step towards the first floor, the glasses man takes his moment to answer "I don't know who it is" he finds it very intriguing as with Mr. Stone you said it was probably someone else in the company but now you ask him this and it only confuses him more.

"Me neither but" you chuckle, maybe lying to your office crush is harder than your boss, you stop looking at Edward, "I think it's a one-time thing" you assure returning to your seat before waving goodbye to him "See ya, Eddie."

He doesn't say anything, but it's impossible not to hear how his heart beats, he was probably having a heart attack or he gets nervous next to you, but hey! You don't think he's a freak.

That's fine with him.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

Edward doubted what he is doing right now, he knows it is wrong, and he knows that anyone could come and catch him looking at the file history in his own office. But really, his curiosity gnaws at him, that feeling that won't let him sleep, there is a follower near him but he doesn't know him nor he follower him, if only he could know, who is helping him?

With the lamp on his phone, he lit up the file history sheet, on that sheet he saw all the company's files, who requests them, what documents were requested, and when they are requested in the pile of file cabinets that are used to store information for generations, he managed to find with a little effort, he saw the last person who entered and left the file room.

It was you.

What?

He almost dropped the phone in shock, he laughed with hesitation, this couldn't happen, you, the mole?

No, this cannot be true.

He read your name again and even saw your signature. You came to that place the same day the information was sent to him. He took a picture of the sheet and quickly started saving evidence that he was there.

It has a lot to think about.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

Edward slammed his door shut, his raincoat barely left him dry as his hair got wet from the rain, he didn't mind the wet feeling on his body, living in Gotham has gotten him used to rainwater not bothering him, he must admit he is in a state of euphoria still, all the way from KMTJ he kept stopping at what he discovered, he kept repeating himself and it didn't tire him, this was better than winning the lottery in his opinion. He could easily shout from the rooftops that he knows he exists and not only that, you also support The Riddler. He had no idea how to continue, yes, you want him, but do you want Edward Nasthon, the other half of him?

It frustrates him, it frustrates him too much when he doesn't know the missing piece of his mental puzzle, in this instance what do you think of him. should he move forward as Edward? should he move forward as The Riddler? He doesn't know what to decide.

He could go on for hours thinking about those little details so he won't end up ruining anything, he took off his blue raincoat and placed it on his chair, he needs to work, someday he will come up with an answer but he needs to get organized. 

You are one of his followers, you, the person he admires from afar every day and feels fulfilled when you smile, you understand it too, you are smarter than many think.

He wrote down everything he had in mind on a whiteboard, brainstorming helps him decide on something.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

You yawned as you took a seat in your work cubicle, it was the first hour of the day and you wanted to go home, to re-watch the recent video of the Riddler, but you need to work, those donations you make are not free.

but before you could start working a card appeared in your files, a green card, you grabbed the card and picked it out, and hid it in your lap to read the contents.

I know who you are, I know you helped me, find me and you will know who I am.

My goodness gracious, it's a miracle you didn't feel a heart attack from whatever is going on, there is no doubt this letter is from your Riddler, you hold the urge to scream from the rooftops that he will deem you worthy of his attention, he wants you to meet him!!!! 

What has hands, but can't clap?

You read the riddle in the letter, written in the same alphabet he invented, and left messages to his followers with that same code.

On the other hand, Edward spies on you from his cubicle covering his smile with his clasped hands, he didn't know how to tell you that he knew, so he planned to let you know with riddles, his specialty. watch you get up from your seat to look for the object of the riddle.

Let the treasure hunt begin!

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

There were many clocks in the office, and you inspect them all, from the receptionist's clock to the desk clock your cubicle neighbor has, until you find a new clue on the second-floor clock, the one outside Mr. Stone's entrance. you looked behind the clock and found a note.

 What kind of mail can a mouse send?

You laughed at the response. You grabbed the note and ran back to your desk, went to your work email, and found a new message from an unknown email address.

I am close to you

but I know you don't know the truth

I am among your coworkers

and I know you can solve my clue

you look around for anyone looking at you, but everyone seems absorbed in whatever it is they're working on, you go back to focusing on the message.

What can you catch, but not throw?

this riddle is a little hard for you to figure out, what it has to do with the office, until the light bulb in your head goes on, from afar Edward sees you approaching the cubicle of the coworker who missed today because he has a cold.

you are happy to see another note under your co-worker's keyboard, you take the note and go back to your desk, you thought that this search will be more difficult or more dramatic, but you are having a lot of fun, even though you may be in a state of danger.

last riddle, but I haven't finished

look for me where the cleaning is located, even if it's narrow I keep a lot of things.

You raise an eyebrow - the cleaning room? Is that what he means? Without a doubt the answer, you quietly make your way to the elevator, looking for the cleaning room.

Edward gets up from his seat and heads for the elevator as well, waiting until you've already left to look for you.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

Edward clenched his hands looking at the door of the cleaning room, he was almost a minute daring to come in to see you, but he is still anxious, too nervous to even be surprised, you love the riddler, but will you be disappointed if he were him? would you tell on him and leave him alone? would you be ashamed?

In his mind, he convinces himself that you are not like that, that you will love him as he is.

but he doubts it.

On the other side of the door you are in complete darkness, standing in the middle of brooms and mops, with your nerves on edge you wait patiently for the person who sent you all those riddles, you smile remembering all the adventures you had to do to get here, you look for the light switch but with so much darkness you can't find it.

They open the door and you are instantly startled, you look at the person who opened the door, the light from outside made Edward look like an angel, someone so beautiful that you were fascinated to behold him. 

"Edward?" you ask confused but at the same time ecstatic, he gives you a nervous smile entering the small room and turning on the light switch. the room gave a yellowish glow and the light from the bulb is not that strong, but the warmth in the place made you more nervous. 

Edward stood at the other end of the room, across from you, as the room is small there is little space that separates you "umm... surprise!" Edward gives an unconvincing laugh, his already hot cheeks coy him, his cowardice starts to work and he doesn't know what to say. 

"you are?..." you don't finish your question, you slowly approach the bespectacled man, Edward starts sweating, feeling cornered he looks at the door he came through but you are so close to him that he can see the details of your face "It's you right?" you want to clarify one last time, he nods his head slowly and looking at you appreciatively.

you shout in joy, and in a fit of euphoria, you hug Edward "oh! it's you! it's you!" you repeat and move closer to him with the hug, the brown-haired man receives the hug in disbelief. 

"It's me!" he smiles accepting your affection, clinging in your arms to feel your presence and soothe him, but before he can get used to it you pull away from him to look him in the eyes "you did all that?" he didn't know what you meant but he agrees with you anyway "yes, I did".

"Oh, Edward!" you close your eyes hugging yourself again "I'm such a fool!" you exclaim with annoyance.

"Why do you say that?" he asks you surprised, for the first time he is so close to someone he is so comfortable in your arms. you laugh softly hugging him "there is a lot I have to tell you" you murmur to him, this was like winning the lottery, you dreamed of razing the riddler to death and then you started dreaming about Edward, but now you are with both of them, you feel that gratification of life.

"Okay" speaks Edward happily, the two continue to function, it doesn't matter that they are both in the small cleaning room, you forget everything else when you are with Edward, this situation feels so intimate and sweet that you just want to hug Edward.

It was worth the treasure hunt.

Edward closes his eyes to calm down and just focus on your touch, the insecurities that plagued him gone.

Thank you very much for reading! And sorry for the mistakes! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.

[overdueforarevival]

Whumptober Day 14 - Addicted To The Not Knowing

Left For Dead | ''cause I want you to know what it feels like to be haunted'

Summary: Ezra Bridger's parents go missing when he is seven years old. There are many things he doesn't know, some things he'll teach himself, others his family will teach him and a few things will have to wait a little while longer.

Also posted to AO3 and based on my tumblr post from a few weeks ago :0

Ezra Bridger doesn’t know a lot of things. He knows that his parents are gone and his home has been cordoned off by the local authority, blocking him from going back. He knows that he’s hungry and cold and he knows that his Mom and Dad always always said to go to Tseebo if anything ever happened to them.

Well, something happened and Tseebo is nowhere to be found. Ezra doesn’t know where to go or what to do, but he does know that it’s almost night and he wants to sleep. So he settles down outside his house, unable to get inside but refusing to leave, and pulls his jacket closer around his body, desperate to conserve some kind of warmth.

He’s kicked awake when it’s still dark out by a beefy man with a bushy mustache telling him to move along and find somewhere else to sleep. Ezra doesn’t know where else to go, so he wanders around the city until dawn comes and then he returns to his street and stands on the corner.

Mr Ishlay goes for his morning walk early in the morning, every morning. He’s an elderly man, one that’s been on the planet probably longer than anyone else, although Ezra’s mother once told him it was rude to say that. He’s not sure why. Mr Ishlay doesn’t walk too well anymore, always leaning on his walking cane but every time Ezra asks why he still walks if it hurts, he says that it’s good for his bones. Ever morning, he’s the first person out the door so Ezra waits for him and when he finally appears, Ezra surges forward.

‘Excuse me, Mister?’ he calls out. The man always smiles when he greets him, a fond look, the kind that old people always give young children. Today, all Ezra gets is wide eyes and a shifty look.

‘What do you want?’ he snaps harshly. Ezra skids to a stop a few paces behind him, staring at his back in disbelief. Confidence thoroughly dashed, Ezra glances around, wondering if someone is going to jump out and announce this all to be an awful joke.

‘I- I was wondering if you knew where my parents are,’ Ezra asks nervously. He gets that same nervous look again, followed by a scowl that has the boy taking another step back.

‘How would I know? Find your own damn parents,’ he sneers and then marches off, cane tapping loudly on the pavement as he fades into the distance.

Maybe he’s just having a bad morning, everyone gets grumpy sometimes. Ezra’s father gets grumpy after work sometimes, but he always apologises afterwards and promises to play Ezra’s favourite games on his day off.

Mrs Onglo is the next one out this morning, watering the flowers outside her house and Ezra skips up to her, twisting his fingers together nervously. This is the lady who always babysits him when his parents are busy, she’s teaching him how to draw and always says that he’s going to be a famous artist one day. She sells artwork in the market and promises that one day she’ll sell his art as well.

‘Hi Mrs Onglo!’ Ezra says cheerfully, waving happily at her. She glances up at him and then quickly looks back down at her garden. ‘Have you seen my parents? They weren’t there when I got home from school yesterday,’

Still, the woman doesn’t answer. Perhaps she’s going deaf, Ezra knows that old people do that sometimes. Dad always jokes that Mom’s going deaf.

‘Mrs Onglo!’ Ezra calls louder, still no answer. Before Ezra can say anything else, she slams down her watering can and runs inside, slamming the door shut behind herself.

Ezra doesn’t understand what’s happening, but decides that maybe his teachers can help him. Teachers have the answers to everything, so he joins the gaggle of children making their way to the school gates. The other parents give him weird looks, probably because they’ve never seen him walk on his own before. Ezra’s older now, though, he knows how to walk to school by himself, he doesn’t need his parents to do that.

He’d quite like them to be here for one last hug before he walks through the gates, though.

However, he doesn’t manage to get through the gates at all. A tall woman, the head teacher, stands in front of him and Ezra nearly bumps right into her legs. She scowls down at him.

‘You no longer attend this school. Do you hear me?’ she snaps angrily, glaring down at him. Ezra stumbles backwards. ‘I don’t ever want to see you near here again. Now scram!’

Ezra doesn’t like the scary look in her eye, the glint of the sun on the lens of her glasses. She doesn’t need to tell him twice; he’s sprinting across the street before he knows it.

Ezra Bridger doesn’t know what’s happening, why nobody will talk to him or where his parents are. But he learns how to survive. He learns how to find the most edible food in the big bins around the back of the shops, he learns the safest alleyways to sleep in and the best lake for a quick bath. Ezra learns to pickpocket and shoplift and Ezra learns that nobody knows his name anymore. They just call him ‘loth-rat’, but even the other street kids won’t speak to him.

Some days Ezra reckons he’s gone invisible and nobody can see him anymore. They all walk past him in the street, even when he’s freezing and hungry, begging for a few credits to help him out. Even when he’s crying and pleading for someone to let him inside to warm up, just for a few minutes. He’d kill to be inside for a few minutes.

But nobody listens, and Ezra doesn’t know why. They’ve left him for dead, to rot on the streets of Lothal, forever wondering why the world stopped and yet everyone else keeps moving.

Eventually, Ezra stops caring about the ‘why’s of the world and focuses more on the ‘how’s. How to survive, how to get more food, how to slip past the bigger kids without being noticed. How to make it through one more winter, one more freezing night on the street.

Ezra gets by just fine with not knowing, in fact he quite likes it. He likes to know that he knows nothing, not how to read or how to speak proper like everyone else, but he gets by just fine. He’s got it all sorted out, a tower to live in and food stored in a cupboard. There’s no need for answers when Ezra is doing just fine on his own.

And then come along the Ghost crew and Ezra thinks he fits in quite nicely, a ghost living on the Ghost. He has three square meals a day, a blanket to sleep under and Hera even buys new clothes. She can be a bit strict sometimes, she makes him shower every day and insists he wash his hair with shampoo twice a week minimum. He uses the same shampoo that Kanan uses and now he always smells like the man too.

Kanan teaches him things, gives him answers to questions that he didn’t know existed. Things start to make sense and Ezra only now realises how little he understood about himself. About the weird feelings he gets, about how he always knows when a fist is about to come flying at his face. Everything is falling into place.

Zeb and Sabine make fun of him sometimes, just for how he does things. He’s not sure why they think it’s so weird that he eats so fast. Don’t they know how easy it is for someone else to steal your food away? They frown at him when he admits that he doesn’t know how to read, Zeb asks why his school never taught him and then Hera calls him away quickly.

Everyone starts reading with him after that, teaching him the letters of the alphabet and what they look like, how to draw them. Ezra tries not to feel too put on the spot. He supposes they’re just trying to be nice, but Ezra’s never needed to read before, he’ll get by just fine without knowing a little longer. They all seem to enjoy it, though, so he lets them teach him and soon enough he’s racing Hera to finish odd books Kanan finds on the holoweb for them.

It takes a while, but Ezra gets used to the casual ‘love you’s that get thrown about the ship every night when he turns in. The first time, he freezes when Hera shouts it down the hall and promptly bolts to his room. The last time he heard that phrase was the morning his parents died. In a year, he’s gone from nobody daring to speak to him to having those words called to him like it’s natural. Of course, Ezra understands now that nobody spoke to him out of fear of the Empire. But still, it doesn’t make sense for Hera to be saying this.

But then Kanan starts saying it too and now Ezra really doesn’t know what to do. But they never stop, in fact it begins to replace any form of ‘goodbye’ and Ezra quite likes it. He doesn’t say it back.

He’s not sure why he doesn’t say it back, he tries a few times, braces himself and spends an hour mustering up the courage but as soon as he sees Hera cooking dinner in the galley, he freezes. In the end, he chops the vegetables for her.

Somewhere along the line, he’s found a family and he’s not quite sure where it came from but he certainly enjoys it. The casual banter and bizarre inside jokes. Knowing that there’s always someone who will have his back, that they’ll never ignore him and never pretend he doesn’t exist makes it easier to go to sleep. He’ll never wake up in the cold again, never wake up alone, wondering why everybody hates him all of a sudden.

And then Kanan makes an awful decision. Ezra should have seen this coming, should have known this was his plan all along but the thought never crossed his mind. In all of these battles they’ve fought, all the missions they’ve been on, hell even after all the nightmares he’s had about it, it never once crossed Ezra’s mind that Kanan might die.

He doesn’t look scared when it happens, in fact he looks perfectly at peace. He smiles at Hera as he pushes her away and lets the flames consume him. It’s almost as though he thought they’d be okay without him. Ezra doesn’t know where he could have gotten such a preposterous notion from. They are not okay without him.

Every night, he can hear Sabine sniffling through the wall that separates their bunks, Zeb is grumpier than ever and even Chopper seems more dull. There’s less spontaneous electrocution which Ezra supposes he should be grateful for, yet part of him misses it.

And then there’s Hera. He knows how hard she’s trying to hard to hide it, but he can feel every emotion lying behind her facade of coping. Ezra doesn’t know why Kanan would do this, why he would hurt Hera like this and why he’d leave him. Ezra doesn’t know enough about the Force yet, about being a Jedi to become half the man that Kanan was. Ezra doesn’t know what to do without his Master.

Now it falls to Ezra to make these decisions and he doesn’t know which is the right one. He guesses and guesses, hopes and prays, begs and pleads for guidance. In the end, he still doesn’t know that to do. But if there’s one thing he learned from being on the streets is that if you act confident enough, nobody will second guess you.

So he makes the damn video and tells Sabine that he’s counting on her. He says his goodbyes and still can’t tell them how much he loves them. He doesn’t know why, when it matters more than ever, he can’t tell them something so simple.

Ezra doesn’t know why he wants to backtrack, to jump off of Thrawn’s ship and hope Hera will see him and catch him. Ezra doesn’t know where he’s going to end up or if this is even going to work. Kanan would have a better idea. Kanan should be here.

But he isn’t and Ezra doesn’t want to hate him for it, but a part of him is really pissed off. No matter how at peace he tries to be, no matter how hard he tries to accept that Kanan is never coming back, he just wants the man to walk up the ramp to their ship one more time.

Now neither of them will.

Ezra doesn’t know where he is, on this strange planet with no intelligent life forms for miles other than the one man who ruined Ezra’s life just when it was starting to look up again. But it’s okay, because Sabine will come for him and Ezra just has to hold out until she finds him. Surely, it can’t take that long.

So he sets up camp and reminds himself of how to keep warm when sleeping out in the elements. He got quite good at it once upon a time, so he knows how to do it now. He doesn’t know what plants are safe to eat or what animals to hunt for dinner, but he learns through trial and error.

Thrawn is doing something, he can feel the Grand Admiral’s presence on the planet, plotting and planning while Ezra waits. It doesn’t matter that Ezra doesn’t know, because he’ll never be able to get off this planet, wherever they are. His venator was destroyed by the Purgill.

Ezra doesn’t know why it’s taking Sabine so long to come find him, doesn’t know why he’s still here in the freezing cold. In all the spare time he now finds himself with, Ezra tries to teach himself more, to learn about the Force and become stronger. He misses having a teacher to guide him, misses having Kanan telling him what to do and how to be.

Every day he wishes he’d learned just a bit more, just asked a few more questions while he was alive. If he’d just trained harder, perhaps he’d have been good enough to save Kanan. Selfishly, he wonders if, had Kanan been alive, Ezra could have stayed home.

Ezra doesn’t know a lot, but he does know that everything he’s learned came from the smartest people alive. And those smart people are going to find him one day. Until then, Ezra will stay here with the Noti, haunted by ghosts of his past, wondering if anyone will ever know how it feels, if he’ll ever be able to tell them. For now, he has no choice but to wait and float in this not knowing, forever waiting for his family to bring him home.

[aliensupersyn]

Breaching the Fourth Wall to Talk About Art: Charles from JJK

This will be a short post. Manga spoilers warming!

Since the manga will be ending soon, I am inspired to look back at some of the characters or moments that were short, but stood out to me regardless of their relevance to the Sukuna fight.

Charles stands out in the story for multiple reasons. He represents a somewhat common trope in manga: the mangaka self-insert character. There have been stories about creating manga like Bakuman and Nozaki-kun, and then characters sometimes represent aspects of the job, like Rohan (Jojo) and Charles.

Gege introduced Charles on an extreme and violent note, as shown below:

To be frank, I would assume that the editor's comments come directly from meetings that Gege himself had as he sought serialization. Gege created a number of one-shots and small releases before creating Jujutsu Kaisen proper. His early works include Kamishiro Sōsa, Nikai Bongai Barabarujura, and No. 9. Even the original JJK 0 was a short 5 chapter run, but his editor encouraged him to stick with the world and expand the story. Gege submitted an expanded story with Megumi as the main character, but that was shot down, so he made the changes to what we have now.

Gege's stories all seem to combine horror and comedy specfically, just like the editor pointed out to Charles. In a similar vein, the character Rohan from Jojo also expressed a mangaka's grievances with seeking serialization. An editor telling Charles to draw better anatomy got his finger broken. Rohan all but mutilated Koichi, citing the strain that serialization places on him to be the reason that he needs to go to such lengths to find inspiration.

Both Araki and Gege use their mangaka self-insert characters in similar manners. Rohan and Charles act out in violent ways against the pressures placed onto them by the manga industry. Therefore, it should go without saying that Rohan and Charles represent that suppressed scream that many (aspiring) mangakas feel about the industry.

Though such self-inserts can say what the mangaka themselves cannot, what justifies these storylines that have little to do with the overall plot? Both Rohan and Charles were mostly inconsequential to the ending of their respective series, yet they still have an importance regardless of that fact. Not every character or story arc has to have direct ramifications to the ending. Sometimes, some characters and plot lines exist for their own sake. I argue more writers should think of storylines beyond the main ending, as that can usually enrich the story.

As an ending note, I personally found Hakari's words to Charles inspiring. As an aspiring creative, I take Gege's words to heart: there's no time for moping, only doing. I argue that Charles not only serves as a mouthpiece for Gege's complaints about the industry, but also a gesture of encouragement to aspiring creatives who feel rejected in their respective fields.

[sm-baby]

Still Alive

HEHE ON MY MINECRAFT SHIT

Word count: 1,859 words 9,861 characters

Not gonna give many things away... just.. cool concepts... angel shit.. I got a cool person to draw 👀 with that being said,

⚠!!MAJOR DISASSOCIATION/ DEREALIZATION/ EXISTENTIAL CRISIS WARNING!!⚠

this does not affect much story stuff so you can sit this one out if you struggle with that kind of stuff! You stay safe, and know that I love you <3!!

ok!! For the other awesome people that still read my indulgent bullshit, I hope you enjoyyy!! Wahh!!! \(@^0^@)/

┌──═━┈━═──┐

  Gasp!

  Eyes wide open and panting that threatened to clog his throat, Sheldon sprung awake in a cold, bright room.

  He had on a gown in white, just reaching below his knees. a light source, not made of fire or lanterns, hung from the ceiling, letting out a deafening buzzing sound.

  The walls were… white, and… unfamiliar. It was blinding.

  The room was empty, except for the strange devices in some corner, and a room behind glass high up on a wall. From behind the glass, Sheldon would spot figures with white coats, forms not far from his own.

     "⍑ᒷ----, ⋮╎ᒲ. ⊣𝙹ℸ ̣ ᒷリ𝙹⚍⊣⍑ ᓭꖎᒷᒷ!¡ ꖎᔑᓭℸ ̣ リ╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ?"

     " ⊣𝙹↸ リ𝙹."

  Their words were muffled and far away, he couldn't hear or understand them.

  He would call out to them, but everything about this situation made them feel like authority, and he was taught not to grab attention when taken hostage.

     " ᔑꖎ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ , ℸ ̣ ᒷᓭℸ ̣ 𝙹リᒷ ᓵ𝙹ᒲᒲᒷリᓵ╎リ⊣ ╎リ 3….2…1."

  A zombie groan would be heard from strange devices around the room, and Sheldon's immediate instinct was to look and hide, but he had nowhere to go. Adrenaline in his knees, all he could do was cower at the sidelines.

  What he couldn't see was that the figures who watched over him observed his reaction, and wrote it down on a piece of paper.

  This would go on for a few more minutes.

  They summoned an actual zombie and when he cowered, they wrote it down

  They dropped food from the ceiling and when Sheldon picked it up, they wrote it down.

  They gave him a lecturn and when he picked up a book, they wrote it down,

  They had him fall from a short drop, and when he got hurt they wrote it down.

  It was all too much, and Sheldon could barely remember any of it.

  They typed a few buttons and placed a bed. Suddenly Sheldon was tired, and when he went to sleep, they wrote it down.

He woke up and the light was blinding, more than it usually was. For a moment, he was happy to seemingly wake up from such a nightmare, only to realize that he was still asleep.

     The patient tried to sit up to no avail, his hands and legs were strapped down to the bed, though, admittedly, he put up quite the fight. He turned to his right, and when his eyes adjusted, he saw another form.

  It was a villager,

  raven hair, fair skin, and …

  Sheldon sighed mentally.

  …White coat.

     From what Sheldon could assume was a she, was tapping on buttons on a strange device. And for a split second, her eyes turned to the patient before turning back to him completely. In her eyes, surprise and almost… annoyance?

    " Oh god, you're awake." She sighed and put a palm on her face, lifting her glasses momentarily. " I could get coders to make it so it’s night but we don't have time… hm.. "

   " Wait! Where am I?? " Sheldon asked, the restraints keeping him in bed. " W-who are you??"

  The woman replied as if she answered this a thousand times before. " Im employee number 14 9 3 8 15 12 5 , but you can call me Dr. Claud. Your name is Sheldon Birch, I don't know your number currently, but you were brought to heaven because your form is no longer available, and are being tested for a new one. We're just here to see if your code is compatible. "

  Sheldon shook his head, brows heavily furrowed in confusion. She seemed to have taken note.

  " Ahh, I don't know why I bother, you'll forget this when you wake up anyway."

  " No-- wait- so… im .. dead? "

  “It's complicated. Basically, every time you die, you’re brought here for a new chance of life, but you won’t remember it in the morning. You’re still the same character, so.”

  " C.. character? Code? Hah! Oh lady you have no idea what you’re talking about." Sheldon couldn’t help but laugh, but to his surprise, her laugh seemed to have surpassed his.

  She answered so casually as if a coworker told her a little joke. “ Alright, Ares. "

Silence.

  "...How did you..? "

  " You’re not a person. You’re code. The only reason why you think you have memory is because you were written to have one.”

  “ You’re talking nonsense..”

  “ You’re talking nonsense!” She said, almost in a playful manner. “Did you really remember the wars? Or do you much clearer remember just-- waking up one day, and all those things happening in the “past”?” When she saw the disbelieved and speechless look in the man's eyes, she shook her head satisfied. It annoyed her to be called nonsensical by beings lower than her, and she was happy to wipe that sure look on his face. 

     This goes on for some time, and the woman seems to be looking over the computer to see if everything was running fine. Sheldon, however, could not believe his ears.

     “ God damn it…” Sheldon whispered to himself. “ … god damn it.”

      To think that his life was fake. All the things that happened to him, all the shit he went through, were all for nothing. The wars, his death, his injuries, the disagreements, and-- not only that-- the sorrow of losing love, life, and family, all for nothing.

     They were all not real.

      While strapped in a room he had no familiarity with, he was forced to rethink his life, questions swarming through his head and answered quickly and brutally, the doctor not even bothering to lay it easy on him; it was as if she’s dealt with this situation once, twice, tens of times before--

     And what could he do? He was forced back into an existence that meant nothing, apparently. And if he fought there would be nowhere he could go. He would be strapped down, and even if he was successful, he’d be brought back until he was ready again.

     Sheldon closed his eyes and let the restraints take him. In his shut eyes were dread and disbelief, lying softly on the bed with a loose body that no longer found a reason to fight on.

     “ If anything, Your friend fought more than you. Your identity as commander was not actually experienced, but with her, the story demands that she’s still at war. “

     “ Erma…”

     “ You got it.”

     A shaky breath escaped him. The thought of Erma being in the same situation as him, her herself being a vessel... They did not actually experience all the things that happened in their past, but they both lived as if they did.

     and with a weak breath, he asked a question, as if already knowing the answer, “ Hey. Even if things are all... fake... do you think that, at least, the love she feels for me is real?”

     " That depends on you, honestly.” The Doctor shrugged. Sheldon’s head tilted over to her, confused. Of all the things she told him that day, he was most unsure about that one.

     “ What..?”

     “When everything in your life is as fake as you are, does that make your experience any less real? " She said so casually, dropping bombs on the poor man without even looking away from the screen.

     Sheldon… thought about that response. So it seems that even the doctor didn’t have all the answers. And after a moment of thinking about it, the patient sighed and put his head down, as if a weight was lifted by her words. "... That’s a nice way to look at it, actually.. Perhaps I’m not any less real than you. We’re just… different. "

     The woman paused, and with a slow turn, looked at the patient on the bed. That was a different response from the usual.

     She shrugged it off though and turned back to her screen. "Exactly. What truly defines real or fake? Are you any different from me because your made of code and im made of skin? " She laughed. " Perhaps Im not even real. Perhaps Im just a bunch of words on a screen."

     The villager laughed, and the doctor smiled that he saw the light of the situation. And as the smile continued on her face she rolled her eyes as a relieved chuckle exited the character’s lips.

     " All my friends, Player, Erma… my son.” He almost choked on the last one. “ …They’re still waiting for me back home… "

     " Oh, Erma was an angel. Always thinking with her head, that one. Strangely she's easy to accept that all her experiences were not real. Never fought us. ‘At least no one's actually getting hurt’, she says. "

     “ Oh, Erma…” Sheldon said with a chuckle and a tear in his eye.

     In silence, the doctor’s eyes turned to him, then back to her work. “ You really made me think this time. Usually, you’d be-- a lot more defensive.” she chuckled and pointed at the restraints.

     Sheldon chuckled back,“ It seems I’m capable of change. Fascinating, isn’t it?”

     “ I suppose so…” She shook her head and finished off the last bits of code before he was officially good to go. “ It’s a shame that you won’t remember this. You were of nice company.”

     “ Oh don’t worry doctor,” He winked and then laughed, bracing himself. “ You’ll see me next time.”

     A small nod and a loading screen later,

Sheldon was generated off,

and into a familiar plain.

and the universe

said....

.

.

.

.

.

Wake up!

     Gasp!

    Eyes wide open and panting that threatened to clog his throat, Sheldon sprung awake in a dimly lit room. That's how it always was in the morning. No light would hit his face as he force his curtains shut for every time he was off to sleep.

    It was a day like any other, his son knocked at his door to make him coffee, him kissing his forehead to thank him, and invited him to join him for the morning.

    As he sat in bed and held his son, random… unexplained.. thoughts went to his head. Of all the memories he had of being a witch, one came to him that was seemingly out of nowhere.

     When his father retired from his position, he was forced to take his place, and to officiate it, he would need to have a ceremony that guaranteed a “long-lasting life”. Every coven head would need to go through one to officially take their position, and the queen as well as her late father would bless them during the festivities..

      “ a gift from heaven” they call it…

      He wonders if that was the reason why he’s lived as long as he did, if it even counted anymore, or if he even deserved it. The concept of God and Heaven, he didn’t fully believe in, but somehow…

  He’s heard that his sister would be taking his position the way he did his father.

  And he can’t help but feel like she’d be seeing them soon.

[morimakesfanart]

Sweetie are you alive?????

Somehow??? ;0;

I know I disappeared and I've been trying to figure out how to explain it when I post the next chapter. I have been unwell in multiple ways ;-;

I'm going to use this ask to try to figure out how to say it

First, the day after my birthday (yes the day after posting the last canon chapter) I went through something extremely scary that I don't want to talk about. I thought I was okay, but I'm the type to compartmentalize until I am actually safe enough to feel which turned out to be a few weeks after the event. I was actually so shaken up by what happened that I couldn't write or draw or do anything for fun for nearly a month. I was like a robot

Second, just as I was getting better emotionally, I got very very sick, had to see many doctors and specialists to figure out what was wrong. I had 3 conditions making each other worse. I won't get into the details here but it hurt to open one of my eyes for a long time and then I developed sever vision fatigue in both. Last week I was finally diagnosed as being infection free after months of treatments, but it went on for so long that I'll probably be having symptoms for at least another month as my body calms down.

The biggest saving grace is that I now I know I've been fighting an infection for who knows how long and got cured of it, maybe I won't get as sick all the time for a while???? ((Please🤞🤞🤞))

I started working on the art for the next chapter 2 weeks ago as the pain started fading enough that it didn't hurt to look at my art tablet. Not sure how long it will take because I keep getting vision fatigue very quickly. Patreon got to see the sketch version already. I'm practically desperate to draw and write at this point so as I'm slowly able to do so it's rushing out of me like tsunami. I have chapters 40&41 mostly done being written now too

Medical TMI for the morbidly curious :

(not a lot of details, but I wanted to hide it because I know eye stuff can be scary for people)

I learned that I had an ongoing eye infection in my eye lids and around my eye lashes for the past several years that was misdiagnosed (that doctor definitely didn't like me so I'm not surprised tbh). It only revealed the truth because my immune system couldn't keep up anymore and the infection started spreading under the skin in an extremely huge and painful way. The past several months I've been doing treatments. It was only last week that I was diagnosed as cured of both infections, but it will still be a month or more of living with the after effects. It has hurt to use my eyes and keep them open for most of the past several months. It doesn't hurt much anymore at least. I have another appointment coming up to see if the current symptoms were from the infection+ meds, or if all of this was so bad that I have glaucoma now. It runs in my family so I'm at risk. Also, it looks like I will need eye drops for the rest of my life, and developing dry eyes was most likely a big factor in why I got the first infection.

I'm so done with being sick

[cursezoroark]

hi!! i love your ocs and your oc thoughts. how do you imagine rens feelings for mona developing through canon + post canon ? :0

Ough. First of all thank u,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I love them too it makes me v happy that u like them as well,,,,,,I’m a bit shocked about that actually,,,, and second of all,,,, oh god how do i explain this.

In the Canon Version of Mona’s Paragon Run (in my head). Ren does not return Mona’s feelings. At least from a romantic perspective. And not yet. Which is rlly funny considering what I’ve drawn so far. But as to why- meta reason- I can’t think of a timeskip design for Ren for Shit. I’m so sorry. I can’t think of Anything. I tried so many times because I Do have a timeskip Mona design after the main events but. nope. My brain draws several blanks.

for a more lore explanation as to Why I do have one. In canon, Ren and Mona just barely got the engines started on their friendship again, especially after he joined Team Xen. Mona was incredibly and surprisingly understanding to his circumstances as to Why he stayed with them, which Ren felt (and still feels) partially guilty for. I think from the beginning they had some hunch of what was going on because it really didn’t make sense to them for him to join after they both saw what happened to Melia (or they assumed) in the first place. Didn’t stop the sting of betrayal but it softened the impact.

As to canon feelings! I rlly like in the beginning there was this weird trail of envy of Ren to Mona’s strength, but it’s ironic since he’s the one who set Mona on the path to pursue it in the first place. There’s this admiring point from him that he can’t help feel as he’s heard of Mona’s adventures, and seen how they keep fighting. Of course, he doesn’t totally get over that envy, but processes it healthily when they reconcile as their relationship becomes more like rivals. They’re friends more than anything really. He’s mainly glad and grateful to have Mona still be his friend after all of the Xen stuff, and is rather determined to include them in his protection as he builds up his strength. And they both have a competitive streak so it’s fun to battle someone who wants an upper hand on you. If I had to say how he sees Mona from his presumed perspective,,,, A quiet person who’s way too kind for their strength.

As for post canon, well. This is where things slightly muddy for me because I have a lot of trouble picturing post canon Ren. This is mainly due to the fact I can Sense another character change incoming (with his mom kidnapped after all + Mosely, who the protag character presumably cares about as well) (Mona cares for Mosely immensely. Little sister). So I’m not sure how that might rock the boat. I await eagerly though. If Ren dies at some point in paragon I will laugh just a bit. Not because I hate him more of just the story beat itself. Sorry Mona.

Additionally, He Doesn’t Develop Romantic Feelings until they’re both in their 20s. Before this, I made it clear that Mona would confess at some point post-canon, get rejected, and they would both still have a really strong friendship. This was mainly for Mona’s growth, because I have a ton of feelings on them as a character. Now, I’m a person on the arospec, so romantic feelings are super. Super super super hard for me to describe in general, It feels disingenuous to say it happened like it would in romance medias or smth like that. I think it just kind of occurred to him at one point that he really liked seeing them be happy. That’s what I consider the peak of romanticism at least, to me. And saw them from a more romantically angled perspective. Which is quite awkward considering what happened in the past. But he still thinks they’re amazing for brunting through everything that’s happened in canon and continues to happen post-canon. Mona often leaves the region because they’re summoned by Anabel and Looker, so the days they began to spend hanging out together began to dwindle real fast. From days to weeks to months to at one point, a year. So contact often dwindles as everyone gets busy with their adult life and jobs. In post canon, Mona helps out even more, being one of the many to taste test his cooking as he works to become a Chef. I think he finds them really endearing, I made it especially so since Mona’s softened a bit on some edges after canon happened. (Not totally. I have thoughts on that.) So they smile a ton more than before, are more at ease with their friends, and is more free to explore the things they want to explore. And I think that really Gets to Ren because he’s never seen them be that relaxed, at least compared to before. It gets to a point where it kind of resparks his guilt for contributing to the harm that made them stiffen in the first place. So that’s a conflicting factor. But he’s grown to care a bunch for Mona, like many of their friends. I think the care is just from a different angle than others, but just as strong. If I were to be plain, he finds them cute.

So TLDR; no romantic feelings, just focuses more on Mona’s strength to carry out everything that’s going on. A strong friendship and rivalry overall. Post-canon. Marvels at how they’ve changed from the beginning, and is greatly endeared to how they’ve become more… I’m not going to say soft but more relaxed. romantic feelings start way later in their 20s.

[ren-rambles-often]

Thanks for answering my ask. I love reading your answer. You have no idea, how happy and excited I feel when you said, "It's okay to ask again because I love talking about my fav ships".

Because I have been blocked by someone, and before they block me they said that 'I asked too much and it's annoying.' I was like, 'If you mind, please just say that and I will stop asking for sure, I thought you don't mind', but they still block me...

So, if you don't mind, can I ask, what do you think are Gojo and Yuuji’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

P.s

If you want to answer the questions above with Drarry, Ereri or MikaYuu's dynamics, I don't mind....

Thanks if you want to answer @readreactrant and sorry for my long ask.

hihi dnana, super sorry I took so so long to get to this one in particular, I got backed up with work and school haha. And I'm so sorry to hear that, they definitely blew it out of proportion and that's kind of a bit immature on their part. Rest assured I love getting asks and hearing opinions, they fuel my yaoi passion (✷‿✷)

I'd love to answer for the other ships but I think I've only got energy for Goyuu rn lol. And damn am I gonna have to rack my smut filled brain for this one. I've never really been taken by any of the jjk characters cuz on the first watch, to me it was just like any other shonen. Reading a lot of what the fandom had to say over the last few years has definitely changed my opinion.

Gojo and Yuuji were definitely the first two characters that stuck out to me most in the series, (mostly bc of that almost kiss but oh well (✿ ♡‿♡). They both definitely oozed main character energy and I never completely saw Gojo as just the 'super powerful sensei' there always felt like there was more to him and when story began to focus a bit more on him I wasn't totally surprised.

Overall he's a commanding presence, and enigma in his own right and I admire how much he cares for his students. I wouldn't call him a perfectionist because of he was many of the adult characters and megumi wouldn't have so much of a issue with his attitude. But his definitely to be the strongest definitely stems from some deep drive to be what the jujutsu society needs him to be. And that I think is one of the sadness things about him.

Which is kind of where Yuuji kind of comes in. Like any regular person after watching jjk 0, I couldn't help but look for parallels between Yuuji and Geto. Not purely because of their connections to Gojo but because of their personalities which are quite similar. But where Geto's WAS a quiet kind of optimism and support Yuuji is more open, more rooted in the world around him. I'm not particularly fond of happy-go-lucky toxic positivity protagonists but there's about Yuuji that doesn't quite reach those extremes. He's kindness and slight hero complex is what leads him to assume the weight of the world his shoulders but the very admirable thing about him is that he doesn't break, no matter how weak he is in the face of it all because, undeniably, unlike other protagonists, you can't trust plot armour to work for him. All you know is that Gege doesn't want him happy.

What draws me to them as one of the best ships in the show tho, aside from the yummy teacher/student dynamic, is how cute the look together. Sue me but there's something inherently attractive about their color pallette and height difference. They're so funny and goofy together and Yuuji's ability to match other's energy and brighten the atmosphere is definitely something Gojo deserves to have around more frequently. Similarly I think Gojo's experience with Geto can help him reach out to Yuuji in times the younger male needs to understand not everyone can be saved. There's also this personal thing of mine where I view them as, Yuuji admires Gojo's strength, Gojo sees Yuuji's potential as someone to stand with him at the top (not like Yuuji gonna be topping in any other aspects of ya know what I mean).

All in all, it just makes me so happy seeing the two of them together, there's a lot of potential their dynamic and personalities leave up to exploration. Being teacher and student I also think there'll be a lot of nuance to their relationship if they did fall in love.

Thanks for coming this far, I'll probably edit this later but my brain feels so fried right now but really wanted to answer this ask cuz I've been lazing around trying to find an answer to "Why DO I like goyuu". The truth is tho, you don't need a reason to want to see two characters together.

BUT a ship is always nicer when their personalities and height difference go great together, I don't make the rules ¯\(◉‿◉)/¯

Thanks for the ask dnana and I'll hope I'll be able to do the other ships some other time but I hope my answer satisfied you ( ◜‿◝ )♡