#I still feel so bad and useless

[korablick]

Day 13 of drawing Kakania until I get her

Note: well it's been a while huh. I was feeling really bad (and i'm still) so i decided to draw them bc why not

Sometimes we seek comfort where we can never truly get it

[cantashi]

Im sad so I drew cute itafushi to cheer myself up ;)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

space sweepers but they're delivery people and are at no point on screen through the entire movie

[psychomusic]

oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)

she is suri sauthon. her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, tar'x, but most of her life except for the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.

despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.

note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]

originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.

this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.

BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).

later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.

years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)

[ruvviks]

The Dobrynin family is a corpo family through and through, rooted in Arasaka and Orbital Air going back by several generations; though their powerful position within the corporate world ends with the children of Nadya and Matvey Dobrynin. With Vitali and Daniil fired from Arasaka and Kang Tao respectively— the former indirectly getting his parents fired, too— and Roksana having refused to set foot within a megacorporation from the start, the family begins crumbling apart at the very seams when clashing interests lead to grudges, betrayal, and pointless acts of revenge. ↳ read the unrevised fic here if you're interested!

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;

@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners

[creatrixanimi]

bruh seeing posts like "this is time to organize" like man sorry to tell you but online leftists arent gonna do shit they couldnt even vote and now everything is gonna be so much worse like. Everyone who didnt vote is far too self-absorbed or lazy to do any activism that isnt reblogging inflammatory post

[red-n-ded]

Charbee Prompts Part 7

(im going to number these now)

What if Bee never left the garage?

What if Charlie decided to not go to work

What if Charlie watched over Bee after the police chase?

Bee was never found. After a year of no results, the government got impatient and killed the Shatter and Dropkick and destroyed any trace of their presence, not even daring to use their technology out of fear of the Soviets getting their hands on them. The Autobots still arrive on Earth but Bee was missing, unable to be contacted and traced.

For the past seven years, Charlie and Bee were inseparable. Charlie didn’t want Bee to be cooped up all his life so after she went to trade school for auto mechanics, she decided to spend the next few years traveling the world with her best friend, taking side jobs as a mechanic.

While visiting a few countries in Europe, Bee sees the beacon from the transwarp key. Realizing that only Bee could see it, the two hopes that there are other people like him. Bee searches for any sign of the transwarp key and follows the sign to Peru. They look around and detects Cybertronian activity on two terribly disguised humans, Elena and Noah, sneaking through a parade and into an underground temple. Charlie follows them into the cave which the Autobots take notice.

After Noah and Elena finds the key missing, Charlie accidentally reveals herself and is held at gunpoint. Noah tells Mirage that someone followed them so Charlie runs away. Noah and Elena chase after her before all three being cornered by Primal. Mirage arrives, aiming his blaster at Primal and Charlie, who realizes that there’s more robots like Bee. When Mirage gets tackled, Bee comes rushing in to defend Charlie.

The rest of the Autobots arrive, overjoyed and shocked to see Bee alive but Bee doesn’t recognize them. Arcee scans Bee, realizing that he has no memory. Optimus assures Bee that they will come to no harm to Charlie and after some convincing, he alongside the Maximals stand down. Although, Bee is wary about the Autobots.

The bots reveal that Bee was a scout named B-127 and that their species in a middle of a war. Prime expects Bee to come back but Bee doesn’t want to leave, wanting to stay with Charlie. It starts tension that leads to an arguement that Charlie tries to calm down. Optimus, in his rage, blames Charlie which leads to Bee accidentally activating his gun out of protection and nearly shooting Prime. In his shock and fear, Bee storms away.

Bee apologizes to Charlie who knows that he didn’t mean to put her in danger. He feels a bit uncomfortable, wanting to go back to the status quo. Charlie says that Bee has to leave because he has people who needs him even though Bee doesn’t want to. Neither does Charlie but she doesn’t say anything.

The Terrorcons then attack and Bee helps fight them while the humans run away. Charlie sees Noah trying to destroy the key but she tries to convince him not to and confesses that she loves Bee so much that she wants him to return home. Optimus and Noah hears this and Noah changes his mind. Charlie and Elena gets captured by Airazor but while Elena gets dropped, Charlie is taken away.

Bee is furious but doesn’t want to fight, having no collective memory on how to. Optimus is understanding and allows him to sit out so they can save Charlie.

The usual fight happens. Scourge holds Charlie captive and Mirage saves her, telling her to run through the vents Noah and Elena are using. When Noah is caught, Charlie tries to protect him, leading to Mirage sacrificing himself for both of them. Mirage turns into a suit for Noah and gives Charlie a blaster to defend Elena with.

Bee is back with the natives and debates to go. He doesn’t want to be in a war but remembers Charlie’s words and at the same time, the Energon blast erupts, giving Bee his memories again. Bee arrives at the fight and the movie ends as usual.

Bee and Charlie both prepare to part ways, hugging and confessing, until Optimus says that the Charlie can help Noah rebuild Mirage, allowing her to stay a little bit longer.

[hauntingblue]

making a collection

making another collection with a threatening aura

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[cerealmonster15]

haikaveh... save me haikaveh...

i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........

i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nomairuins]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[angelstrawbabie420]

grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it

[c-nan]

if i stay over the weekend to help on a student film set, i won’t go back to my hometown which will upset my mom (and also cause me mental distress) but if i go home (mom happy, me happy(ish)) i’ll miss out on the opportunity to learn more about working on film sets (somethign i’ll have to do next semester for my own film) and i’ll reinforce in my brain that i’m not capable of doing literally anything and that i’m a fuckifn loser

[bamber344]

still thinking about that time a girl came to one of my band's shows, brought me flowers, asked if I wanted to hang out afterwards, and I, like the absolute genius I am, said no. I wanted to hang out with my band instead :) I didn't even realise what the chance was I literally thought she was just being nice. I am so fucking stupid.

[sparkles-oflight]

Sometimes I'm like "lol, the joker out boys did something funny/relatable/cringe/etc that I'm not used seeing celebs doing but I'm glad they do because me too!" and then I remember they are quite literally JUST GUYS IN THEIR 20S DOING THINGS OF GUYS IN THEIR 20S

[tamagotchikgs]

my mom keeps listing off things i need to do and accusatorily asking why i never do anything like art anymore n i am just. so exhausted. ive never been more tired i just want to burrow myself in the earth n disappear in the cold dirt