#and the fight they have later on. because all of those events are key moments referenced in the fic

[ruvviks]

The Dobrynin family is a corpo family through and through, rooted in Arasaka and Orbital Air going back by several generations; though their powerful position within the corporate world ends with the children of Nadya and Matvey Dobrynin. With Vitali and Daniil fired from Arasaka and Kang Tao respectively— the former indirectly getting his parents fired, too— and Roksana having refused to set foot within a megacorporation from the start, the family begins crumbling apart at the very seams when clashing interests lead to grudges, betrayal, and pointless acts of revenge. ↳ read the unrevised fic here if you're interested!

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;

@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners

[centaurianthropology]

Why C3E51 worked so well (a DM’s perspective)

I have seen a lot of absolutely bananas critiques of C3E51 (thankfully not nearly as many around here, far more on Reddit, which I should not have visited).   And the ongoing theme of those critiques is that Matt should not have imperiled former PCs, and if he brought them in should have either done lengthy side-bars with those characters or let them win the fight against Ludinis and have a chance to take him out themselves, since they’re ‘god tier’ or ‘high level’ and that makes ‘logical sense’.  What these critiques really boil down to, IMO, are people who were really invested in the former campaigns upset that their faves didn’t get to do cool things, treating it more like a TV show than a game.  But even as a TV show, that would have been disappointing from a narrative perspective.  Because even in a TV show, this is a sequel spin-off show, starring new characters.  The story is about THEM.  And more importantly, the game is about the players and about telling their story.

So let’s break this down from a DM perspective.  How do you build a Kobiashi Maru situation for your characters?  For those of you who aren’t familiar, the Kobiashi Maru is a Star Trek term for a scenario designed from the jump to be unwinnable (Kirk beat it by creativity, but later admitted that he missed the point of it).  In Star Trek this was done to test what a future officer would do if faced with certain failure.  In a D&D game it’s a little more complicated.  Part of it is to set up the BBEG, put their plan in motion, and set the stage for the next leg of the game.  But it’s also to give your players, who are clearly into it, a darkest-hour scenario.  Not every player group is going to be into facing down the Kobiashi Maru, and it’s clear from the aforementioned critiques that a lot of them are on Reddit.  Power-gamers who always want to win are not going to enjoy this sort of storytelling, but players who are really into RP and working through difficult times and failures will eat this stuff up.  And this is absolutely the sort of table playing on Critical Role.  There is a level of trust there that can only be built after years of working together, and this was finally the moment when Matt could pay off years of planning and campaign-spanning set-up.

Matt carefully plotted the structure of this episode out to give maximum agency and impact to a party of dramatically under-leveled characters.  And they knew going in they were under-leveled.  This wasn’t a surprise, but a potential suicide run by people who knew they weren’t the heroes they needed to be, but were the only heroes in the right place at the right time to try anything.  So they came up with as good a plan as they could, and executed it fairly well, all things considered.  

They knew they couldn’t take on Ludinus directly (and this was a great way to demonstrate exactly how much he had planned and how long, to bring in elements from C2, hints we’ve had for years about Ludinis, only to reveal it went deeper than any of the characters could have imagined), so Matt gave them some winnable objectives.  This is a great way to keep the characters invested in an unwinnable scenario: the ultimate outcome may be beyond the characters, barring some insane genius or incredible rolls, but they can still help.  They can do something that will have a tangible impact on events and hinder the baddies enough to give them another chance at a rematch and a way to stop the apocalypse when they’re higher level.  So Matt gave them the batteries: take out as many as you can.  While this would not stop the ritual, I suspect that the more they took out the more Ludinis would have to drain his own power to make the key work, and the longer the process would take.  Knocking out the feywild key, as well as multiple power sources turned what would have been an instantaneous event if they had done nothing into a more drawn-out affair which, I suspect, could be stopped or even reversed.  It gave them a window to come back and demand a rematch.

Then we have the high-level PC allies, and how to play with those sorts of characters without pulling focus from the PCs.  Matt handled this very well, by having the players roll for their former PCs, taking the specifics of their actions out of his hands and letting the dice of the former players decide.  He also revealed that Keyleth’s involvement, and baiting Vax with Otohan’s permadeath poison, was key to Ludinis’ ritual, which was why she couldn’t just dive in and clean everything up.  But again, because of this story, it ties less back to Keyleth and more back to Orym.  That was the point of the attack on Zephrah, to get her attention by getting her to look into who did it and then coming to get some payback, but the little guy on the ground has always been caught in the middle.  Orym has been Ludinis’ unwitting pawn from the off, his family’s deaths merely a means to an end, and that is vicious and amazing set-up for character growth for him.  

Beau and Caleb had to be there by the logic of the story.  It didn’t make sense that Caleb would sit out a world-ending event orchestrated by a Cerberus Assembly member after spending years trying to take them down.  Beau would obviously go with him.  It also made sense that they would be the only two there, because they were scouting when Ryn got taken down, and after that were trying to keep a low profile.  Shit accelerated too fast for them to call in reinforcements.

Which is the in-story reason for them to be there, but isolated and vulnerable, making them useful allies and wildcards (who likely could have been more useful if ultimately failing as well, but failed early thanks to Liam and Marisha’s rolls).  But they were still outmatched.  I have no idea what the challenge rating of Otohan, Leliana, and Ludinis are, but we know Otohan was considered ‘beatable’ back in Bassuras.  That indicates she’s the lowest CR, particularly with the glowing weak-spot on her back.  But she can still wreck a level-20 PC if she gets the jump on her, which she did.  And that meant that she remained a massive threat.  Caleb and Beau were playing it smart, keeping to the shadows, but still got caught by Leliana.  Between dice rolls, careful planning, and some great enemy design, Matt really set up a team that could take on high-level players and win.  And he made it clear that Ludinis did not leave this to chance.  He has the best people he could muster after 1000 years of planning.  Nothing short of a miracle could have truly stopped them.

Which is why we cut back to Bells Hells.  Because ultimately this particular story isn’t about Keyleth or Vax or Caleb or Beau or any other former PCs.  This is about the current party being caught up in events much larger than them and having to rise to the occasion.  This is the story of the schmucks sent in to take out the batteries, but who have personal beef with the big bads.  Ludinis orchestrated the plan to attack Zephrah to bait Keyleth and draw out Vax, and Otohan carried it out.  And he used Orym as a pawn throughout all of it.  This makes taking them down, but especially taking Otohan down, the cornerstone of Orym’s personal quest.  Letting an NPC take her down would be taking away a critical part of his motivation and goals, which is an absolute no-no for a DM.  NEVER bring in a god-tier NPC and take away player agency or story beats.  Especially never have them resolve important player goals and backstory events!  Every NPC, even the powerful ones, are there to support the story the players are telling.  So of course Keyleth wasn’t going to take out Otohan.  Of course she wasn’t going to stop the ritual.  Beau and Caleb might have been able to do something more if Liam and Marisha hadn’t rolled so badly for them, but ultimately, they had to get caught or fail in another way.  

For the sake of gameplay, Bell’s Hells had to be the only functional team.  They had to be the ants that were beneath Ludinis’ notice long enough to really accomplish something.  And as much as it feels like they failed, they had minor victories: Laudna and Ashton took out more batteries, making Ludinis drain his own power to kick off the apocalypse.  They only failed to take out Otohan’s backpack by 2 HP, which showed them that she was an achievable goal in the future.  If they had rolled a little better, they probably could have taken her out entirely, which would have felt like a big accomplishment for them.  Imogen made her mother pause in her assault before doubling down.  This leaves open very interesting future beats for their interactions.  Can she ultimately redeem her mother or would she have to take her out?  Every step that Matt set up in this episode, from the reveals about Ludinis’ plans and Orym’s past, to Imogen’s interactions with her mother, to Chetney and likely Ashton finding themselves staring down their own backstories after the party split, was focused on this party, on getting them ready to step out of low-level play and advance.

And that’s the point of E51.  It’s not a climax of the story, but the ultimate set-up.  It’s putting all the pieces onto the board in a way that all the characters can now recognize.  Yes, unless the players came up with something genius, the apocalypse was going to kick off, but their actions slowed everything down to a place where it could be combatted.  Yes, the god-tier former PCs were always going to get neutered, because this is Bells Hells’ story, and you cannot have NPCs fix PC problems.  They might have been able to do a little more before this happened, but the dice rolled.

And it’s honestly good for the PCs how things turned out.  They have a clear objective, but are split up.  This gives them great incentive to level up, explore character backstory, deal with their personal shit, get stronger, and then come back to kick the asses of all three of these villains (or possibly redeem one, we’ll see).  Their powerful allies are now temporarily side-lined.  Keyleth is badly hurt and will need time to recover.  Caleb is collared and will need time to get that removed.  Beau is likely up and moving now, but will need to safeguard Caleb for a while.

The Bells Hells are on their own.  The Darkest Hour has come, and it’s time for them to rise up and go from nobodies to heroes.  This is their true call to adventure.  And as a DM, it was so cool seeing how Matt set up all the pieces over the campaign, only to pay them out in such a satisfying and motivating way in this episode.

[separatist-apologist]

The opening ceremony has turned me back into my Olympic sports critic era, only seen every four years when i pretend to know what im talking about. So. Who's the most likely to get super into the olympics (assuming they are not in the Olympics) and what sport (s)

A LIST???? WAR IS OVER. Also I know next to nothing about the Olympics and will never know anything more unless @unhealthyfanobsession writes a new fic (I didn't even know fencing was a sport)

As a reminder: if you disagree with me I don't need to know about it and also I have the only correct opinion in the fandom so I will be taking no feedback thanks

Starting with least likely to most likely (source is my beautiful mind):

Amren: The WHAT?

Eris Vanserra: Could not care even a little- refuses to pretend. Annoyed every time he steps into a bar all televisions are playing gymnastics.

Elain: Doesn't like all the arguing."everyone is a winner!" attitude that has people asking her to leave the room at tense moments. Cannot, for the life of her, see what the big deal is getting worked up over sporting events.

Mor: Willing to listen to who is winning what, and a staple at every Olympic themed party, but has no interest or opinion in anything going on.

Nesta: Low-key judging how invested people are, but also mesmerized by the high dive (i know this in my heart). Claims she's not interested, but always standing behind sofa will the events are on like your dad who swears he hates reality TV. "Who is winning again?" "What are the rules?" Cassian is silently screaming

Feyre: Interested in archery, obvs- totally could have gone pro were it not for that wrist injury all those years ago. Knows EVERYTHING about it, backseat coaching. Not interested in any other sport

Emerie: In it for the memes, specifically. Turns out several very viral, very hilarious ones came from her side blog. She knows just enough to make a timely joke, and likes the racing events because they end quickly

Lucien: The athleticism is just interesting, okay???? He's not even that invested but he's been sitting in the bar for 30 minutes while his drink gets cold watching two dudes fencing, he's never been more enraptured in his life

Rhys: Very invested in a handful of activities, wishes it was Winter Olympics, though- thats where the REAL skill is. Okay grandpa why don't we get you to bed now

Gwyn: Passionate about the whole thing, but is unwilling to fight about it. It's just fun to watch her country dominate in every event. Passes around Olympic memes, is the only one who knows Emerie is behind it- she'd know that sense of humor ANYWHERE

Azriel: Knows SO MUCH about EVERY event HOW?? WHY?? Will drop facts at random, silencing every argument. Why does he know so much about the new kayaking sport? Find out only later he could have gone pro FOR REAL, chose not to. Will fight if his team loses

Cassian: USA!! USA!!! USAAAAAAA LETS GOOOOOO!!!!!!!

[butterflydm]

wot reread: a memory of light (chapter 37)

spoilers for the last book, a memory of light

I am going to do this enormous chapter a little differently than the previous chapters (basically so that I can refer to this post later and understand all the various threads and not get them mixed up with each other). Instead of going in chronological order by each event presented to me, I'm going to have different PoV sections and then have my thoughts under each of those.

Egwene & Gawyn (& Galad)

Gawyn is exhausted, despite the week that they all just took to prepare for this last push of the battle. That's not a good sign. Pretty sure that's the Bloodknife ring sapping his strength. Yeah, when he puts the ring on again "his strength returned". (From TGS: "One never committed Bloodknives unless one was very serious, for they did not return from their missions." "The incredible abilities came at a cost, however, for the rings leeched life from their hosts, killing them in a matter of days. Removing the ring would slow that process slightly but once activated - done by touching a drop of one's own blood to the stone ring while wearing it - the process was irreversible.") He's already dead. He's just still walking around. Oh, hon.

"[Egwene] hesitated for a moment, looking through the gateway to Mat's command post. Egwene met the eyes of the Seanchan woman across the table, where she sat imperiously on her throne. I have not finished with you, Egwene thought." A very mean thing for Sanderson to write here, considering.

From her sense in the bond, she believes that Gawyn has gone off "to join the Andoran army" and sends Bryne to fetch him. Then she assigns Siuan to go "join Mat and the Seanchan Empress and listen with ears accustomed to hearing what is not spoken". Siuan calls Egwene a legacy that will shape "what is to come".

"I'll help watch this Seanchan woman for you, maybe help poor Min crawl out of the fang-fish net she's found herself in." Good luck, Siuan!

Egwene realizes, too late, that she's sent Bryne off to the wrong place, as once she travels to her own new location, that Gawyn is actually "on the Heights themselves, where the Shadow held the strongest."

Honestly, using the Special Assassin Rings to try to commit a Special Assassination on the leader of the Shadowspawn forces sounds like... a good idea? Gawyn knows that the original Bloodknives were doing a very good job specifically murdering Aes Sedai, because that was the crime that he was investigating when he found them in the first place. I also wonder if a lot of people forgot or missed that this attempt to go kill Demandred is not when Gawyn first activated the ring and signed his own death warrant (I bet that I missed it during my first read too). That he first activated the ring back when he and Egwene were pinned down by the Sharans and death seemed right around the corner for both of them. Gawyn's death has been irreversible since chapter 23.

"Once, perhaps, he would have done this for the pride of the battle and the chance to pit himself against Demandred. That was not his heart now. His heart was the need. Someone had to fight this creature, someone had to kill him or they would lose this battle. They could all see it. Risking Egwene or Logain would be too great a gamble. Gawyn could be risked. No one would send him to do this -- no one would dare -- but it was necessary."

He isn't able to get the assassin's blow off on Demandred and it looks like a key element is because Demandred detected the 'weave' that the ter'angreal is using on him. He calls it Night's Shade and confirms that it "leaks your life away".

I wonder why Demandred's face seems "eerily familiar" to Gawyn? I can't think of why that might be. lol, why does Demandred call everyone "little"? "Little man." "Little queen". "Little swordsman". What is your obsessions with everyone's heights? (wait, is he the one that was SLIGHTLY shorter than LTT and pissed off about it? as opposed to Sammael, who was considerably shorter than LTT and pissed off about it?)

haha, Demandred is CONVINCED that Lews Therin is the one directing the battle on the other side, either using Mat's face as a Mask of Mirrors or by sending messages through Mat. He has a spy in Mat's camp, probably, but is convinced that Rand is there somewhere, hiding. I mean, I kinda wish he were, just so that Rand and Mat COULD HAVE A REAL SCENE TOGETHER, but Demandred and I will both have to be disappointed. But it's kinda funny that it feels like Gawyn was rejecting the idea that he is "following" Rand in, like, a philosophical way, but Demandred meant "Lews Therin is literally your battle commander".

Gawyn loses the duel. And I like Gawyn this time around, so I'm much more emotionally affected by it. That's so rude. 😭

Egwene fights to reach Gawyn, feeling how close to death he is. 😭😭

Galad is on the Heights, fighting against Sharan channelers on Mat's orders, wearing a copy of the foxhead medallion. Galad also keeps getting confronted with things about 'his' Children of Light that are making him go 'yikes'. He's killing the Sharan channelers because it makes sense for the battle and he was ordered to do it... but the Children are happy to have an excuse to kill channelers and have some... real strange beliefs that kinda make channelers akin to vampires (...burying the head separately or they will rise again?).

One of the Children finds Gawyn, near death, and brings Galad to him. As he dies, Gawyn is talking over his regrets, starting with regretting staying at the White Tower back in book 4. He tells Galad to tell Egwene that he loves her, and Galad reassures him that Egwene already knows. Galad gets very cold inside when he realizes that his brother is dying. "He had seen men die, he had lost friends. This hurt more. Light, but it did."

When he tries to tell Gawyn that he needs to leave, so that he doesn't leave Galad without a brother, Gawyn tells him about Rand. And he tells Galad not to hate Rand. "I always hated him but I stopped." And Gawyn dies. 😭😭😭

Egwene feels it when it happens. After sending out a burst of flames at the nearby enemies as the pain consumes her, she collapses for the moment (there is a group of Whitecloaks nearby so she was very very close to reaching Gawyn before he died. That is heartbreaking).

Egwene wakes up after having been removed from the battlefield. She feels empty and heartbroken but, especially after she overhears how badly the battle is going, she knows that she does not have the time for grief or mourning, not now. "Egwene al'Vere lost a man she loved, and she felt him die through a bond. The Amrylin has sympathy for Egwene al'Vere, as she would have sympathy for any Aes Sedai dealing with such loss. And then, in the face of the Last Battle, the Amrylin would expect that woman to pick herself up and return to the fight." It's interesting how (as Rand's foil), Egwene is both the same kind of hero that Rand is, but she's also the kind of hero that Rand expected himself to be but actually ends up not being. Rand's Last Battle is philosophical; Egwene's Last Battle is physical (which is to say, the show gets another point right in how they decided to distribute episode eight out to its protagonists -- with Rand's fight ultimately being in his head while Egwene's is out on the battlefield; that's what Rafe & co meant when they said they were doing a whole-series adaptation and not just adapting book-by-book. they looked at the actual endgame needs of the characters and put in the work up-front to make sure that those would vibe with the set-up).

18. In order to keep herself balanced on the battlefield, Egwene decides that she needs to bond a Warder, though she is far from emotionally ready, and she asked "Leilwin Shipless" if she will accept the duty, getting immediate agreement. And Egwene goes back out to fight again.

19. "Egwene led an assault the likes of which had not been seen in millennia." There's some intense fighting and then Egwene comes face-to-face with Taim, who calls himself M'Hael now. There is an intense battle scene. The battle involves a lot of balefire being tossed around by Taim and, in the back of her mind, Egwene ponders the notion of whether or not the weave really is impossible to counter. Egwene didn't need the help of anyone else's ancient memories in order to rediscover Traveling, after all. That was all her, figuring it out from basic principles.

20. Egwene and her Aes Sedai have been fighting on the Heights for hours. Taim reappears, pouring balefire into her line of Aes Sedai and killing dozens. Egwene thinks again about what Perrin said in TAR about balefire -- "it's only a weave" -- and considers how balefire is considered a one-of-a-kind sort of thing. But what if it isn't? What if it works like any other weave? With the One Power, there are always two halves. Logically, balefire should have an equal and opposite counterpart, just as saidar has saidin. "If a weave exists, so must its opposite". And when Taim strikes again with balefire, she counters with this idea of this weave that she has created, one that is the opposite of balefire. Something that will reinforce the Pattern instead of unraveling it.

She decides that it is called the Flame of Tar Valon, and she uses it to kill Taim.

21. Egwene realizes that she's reached the point of no return -- if she releases her grip on saidar, then she will burn out. There is too much inside her right now. More than she can hold. So she can let go and burn out and survive... or she can take that power and use it.

She tells Leilwin née Egeanin one last command -- find the seals and keep them until she sees 'the moment the light shines'. Then she wraps her up in Air and shoves her through a gateway, releasing their bond.

She closed her eyes and drew in the power. More than a woman should be able to, more than was right. Far beyond safety, far beyond wisdom. This sa'angreal had no buffer to prevent this.

Her body was spent. She offered it up and became a column of light, releasing the Flame of Tar Valon into the ground beneath her and high into the sky. The Power left her in a quiet, beautiful explosion, washing across the Sharans and sealing the cracks created by her fight with M'Hael.

Egwene's soul separated from her collapsing body and rested upon that wave, riding it into the Light.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Before I move on to the next set of plot-threads, I want to ponder a question: why on earth does Gawyn get blamed for Egwene deciding to go out in a blaze of glory? He died hours ago. She bonded a new Warder. She doesn't die out of rage over her Warder's death here. To quote Gawyn: [Her] heart was the need. Egwene looked at what the battle needed from her at that moment, and she made a choice.

Once upon a time, Lews Therin stood on a mountain after losing the love of his life, and his despair created destruction around him. Once upon a time, Egwene stood on a battlefield after losing the love of her life, and her sacrifice healed the destruction around her.

Last time around, Lews Therin was fighting the wrong battle -- and the wrong person was the one fighting in the battle.

re: Egwene dying at all. I actually do think that having one of the Emond's Field Five die was a good choice. Would I have picked Egwene as the one? Probably not. otoh, it kinda seems like the other four were all mentioned as still being alive in Jordan's epilogue, so Egwene was the only one who could die (since the epilogue was considered basically sacred). idk I'm a big softie who has a hard time killing off characters so I'm not really the person to talk to about that subject, lol.

Rand (& Nynaeve)

TDO's attack against Rand starts out as an attempt to break him down and shatter him, but Rand resists. "It was as if the Dark One was shredding him while at the same time trying to crush him entirely, coming at Rand from infinite directions, all at once, in a wave."

When that fails, TDO then 'weaves' a reality for Rand to see. A world 'remade' in TDO's image, where the taint overlays everything, the Blight is everywhere, and Rand has been forgotten in his failure. TDO makes him watch his father die, and then Dannil leads him back to Emond's Field, where a Turned Nynaeve is waiting with channelers and Fades to Turn Rand too. It's an attempt to make Rand feel despair and give up, but when Nynaeve & co begin the process of trying to Turn Rand to the Shadow, he pushes back, rejecting this reimagining of the world that TDO has created. Hmm, Rand finds threads here that are more varied than the five threads of the One Power, calls them "the fabric of creation" and uses them to channel a different reality.

We now get introduced to the world that Rand reimagines. "He passed from nothingness into majesty."

Gorgeous buildings. Wide roads but nothing driving on it, only people walking around, in vibrant clothing. Now, instead of the memory of Turned Chosen enslaving and tormenting the Two Rivers, Rand has willed into being memories of Ogier coming "to the Two Rivers to repay Rand for his sacrifice, intending to build a monument here, [but] the town's leaders had wisely requested help improving their city instead".

Rand doesn't quite imagine paradise entirely -- though he's integrated the Seanchan into his vision of peace here, he doesn't know enough about the Sharans to do the same, so there are still "campaigns" there. And there is a monument dedicated to the fallen of the Last Battle with "familiar" faces that Rand isn't quite willing to look at. Like TDO had done earlier, "He'd built this reality out of the threads of what could be, of mirrors of the world as it now played out".

The knowledge that other people are out there dying and sacrificing for a potential future shakes Rand -- he wanted so much for his sacrifice to be the only sacrifice, which was always going to be impossible. But when he lets that thought enter his mind, this vision of reality starts to get eaten up by TDO and Rand has to force it back into place.

It is the anniversary of the hundred years of peace that Rand had wanted in the Dragon's Peace that he had the nations sign before (and during, in the case of the Seanchan) the Last Battle. Lady Adora, Perrin's granddaughter, is the mayor of Emond's Field. Rand slips past her and into the school. A school for anyone to come and learn, no matter what their background. TDO taunts him again for believing that he can eliminate suffering entirely. So we're kinda doing a "the perfect is the enemy of the good" argument here. Is "better" enough when it isn't "perfect"? And is "perfect" only ever a lie? TDO attacks Rand again, and this world fades back into a faint mirror of possibility. The heart of the Last Battle is a philosophical argument about the nature of reality, and of human nature.

As he stands with the great shadow of TDO, Rand can see the armies outside fighting. TDO is mostly outside of time, except wherever it touches the Pattern. There it is bound to the linear nature of time. TDO tells Rand to watch as the people fighting in his name die, and spins another vision for him.

The new world-possibility that TDO spins for Rand looks very much like the regular world, with some minor differences like steam-drawn carriages driving around. He's in Caemlyn this time, and he can still see the hole in the wall from when Talmanes blew the hole to escape from the Shadowspawn, but there's a bustle and a life around.

He goes to a fruit seller, and she mentions her fresh peaches for sale. "Peaches," Rand said, aghast. Everyone knew those were poisonous. She tells him that they are safe now; the toxin has been removed. Hey, isn't it peach blossoms that Rand made bloom back in Ebou Dar? So that was actually meant as something of a subtle threat, though Tuon took as an Important Omen. As they're talking, a street urchin steals one of the fruits and starts to run off, and the fruit-seller pulls out a rod and does something that instantly kills him. When Rand reacts in horror, she acts puzzled, asking him if "it" belonged to him. Yikes! Yeah, definitely still a very Bad World, Rand. When she asks him what faction he belongs to, he takes that as his cue to leave, very quickly.

He searches Caemlyn to find the Queen's Blessing and, with relief, sees that Basel Gill is working inside. So this one is not a hundred years in the future like the last one. Gill says that they're in the Fourth Age and that the Last Battle was won. After Gill tells him that he'll get him a faction symbol, Rand notices a nothingness that signifies TDO's presence and questions it. This is a world where TDO has tricked people into believing that they won the Last Battle.

When Gill returns, it's with guards to rob Rand for his fancy coat. Rand realizes that TDO has taken everyone's consciences/compassion. This is a world without any spark of 'light' inside people's hearts, only Shadow. Rand tells TDO that seeing this only makes him want to fight harder and now he will show TDO a world "without Shadow".

In the cavern, Nynaeve works to save Alanna's life. All her Power is still wrapped up in the link with Rand, so she has to sew and use her herbs and all her know-how from being the Wisdom of Emond's Field.

As Rand tries to weave together the possibility of a world without the Shadow, he finds that the threads resist him and he wonders if that is because of how unlikely such a world is. iirc, Rand's upcoming dreamworld is a moment that the show has already given us great set-up for with the fantasy that Rand gets from Ishamael in episode 8 and is another illustration of how far ahead Rafe & co were thinking with all their choices in the first season.

He chooses to create Caemlyn, to wash the taste out of his mouth of having seen the horrible vision that TDO showed him last time. Trees are in full bloom, there isn't a cloud in the sky, and children don't recognize what a sword is. He asks to visit the queen and is directed towards the gardens, though he first travels through a hallway of magic mirrors, letting him see this paradise reflected in other lands: a peaceful meadow in the Mountains of Mists, the Stone a museum instead of a fortress, the rebuilt towers of Malkier, the Chora Fields of the Age of Legends surrounding the city of Rhuidean as he hears Aiel voices lifted in song. No locks on the doors. No more need for money -- "a nearly forgotten eccentricity". Channelers create food for everyone and Aes Sedai heal anyone who suffers injury.

His own grave in the Blasted Lands, where his body had been burned after the Last Battle, overgrown with leaves, grass, and flowers. Rand pauses at this window for a long moment before he moves onward into the gardens.

Elayne sits alone in the gardens, not too far from the garden wall where he once fallen in and met her for the first time. "Elayne was as beautiful as she'd been when they'd last parted. She was no longer pregnant, of course. A hundred years had passed since the Last Battle. She appeared not to have aged a day." When Elayne sees him, she greets him in surprise.

18. She wonders if her daughter is using the Mask of Mirrors to play a prank on her, but Rand sinks down to one knee before her and tells her that he's real. And, as he looks into her eyes and listens to her voice, he realizes that "something was wrong".

19. "That simpering tone, that vapid reaction... Elayne had never been like that." He gets more disturbed as she continues, talking about Aviendha spending her week off from singing to do "nursery duty". "Aviendha. Tending children and singing to chora trees. There was nothing wrong with that, really. Why shouldn't she enjoy such activities? But it was wrong, too. He thought Aviendha would be a wonderful mother, but to imagine her seeking to spend all day playing with other people's children..."

20. When he looks into Elayne's eyes, he sees the same kind of blankness that he's seen in those forcibly Turned to the Shadow. He accuses TDO of having done something to her. But TDO asks him, "Did you think that removing me from their lives would leave them unaltered?"

21. "She was not herself... because Rand had taken away her ability to be herself." Again! This resonates so well with what was set up in episode eight! Rafe is playing the long game!

22. I do have to... interject a side note: this scene really couldn't be done with Min because... this horror that Rand accidentally did to Elayne, stripping her of her autonomy in an attempt to create a world without Shadow... is basically what Min did to herself in LoC.

He’ll have to take me as I am, [Min] thought, twitching the reins irritably. I’m not changing for any man. Only, her clothes would have been as plain as any farmer’s not that long ago, her hair had not been in ringlets almost to her shoulders, and a small voice whispered, You’ll be whatever you think he wants you to be.

Honestly, that's a big part of why I dislike how prophecy is used in a couple of the romances (Min->Rand and Mat->Tuon) because it feels like it's been used to strip away their autonomy and yet this loss of their self doesn't get treated like a horror even though their 'choice' to chase Rand/marry Tuon was done because they believed they had no choice.

23. Rand weeps in despair at all the loss of life that is going on in the Last Battle outside of Shayol Ghul. "He should have been able to protect them. Why couldn't he? Against his will, the names began to replay in his mind. The names of those who had died for him, starting with only women, but now expanded to each and every person he should have been able to save - but hadn't." But he refuses to give in to TDO's offer to 'stop fighting and rest'. And TDO spins another possibility for him...

24. The next offer that TDO makes is 'nothing'. Aka oblivion for all of existence. He claims that it is the same as the 'peace of the void' that Rand seeks so often. Rand gives the offer due consideration, and then rejects it.

25. Rand feels Egwene's death and it shakes him hard. Egwene's name is added to the list in his mind, and despair claws at him as TDO gloats that the dead belong to him.

26. Rand is watching the whole battle play out -- he sees Elayne (captive and alone), he see Rhuarc (his mind forfeit), Mat (desperate, facing down horrible odds), and Lan (riding to his death).

Demandred's words dug at him. The Dark One's pressure continue to tear at him.

Rand had failed.

But in the back of his mind, a voice. Frail, almost forgotten.

Let go.

Elayne & Mat (& Fortuona & Min & Galad)

Elayne is heading into the main Seanchan camp to talk to Mat about why he appears to be changing the battle plans without letting her know. Along the way, they deal with some Draghkar and Elayne deliberately deafens her side so that they will be able to ignore their song. After this, she's approached by a sul'dam and damane pair and, reluctantly, allows the damane to heal her ears. Elayne is, btw, wearing sturdy boots.

Elayne has also been paying attention to how the Seanchan behave, and so she does not talk to any of the sul'dam herself, because she's noticed that they care a LOT about who talks to who. This sul'dam in particular is highborn, Elayne suspects from the shaven sides of her head, so she'll definitely feel insulted by Elayne not being willing to speak to her. <3

Elayne also notes here that the Seanchan highborn seem to dislike the idea of being healed with the Power ("Why any of you would want to be Healed by an animal is beyond me," the sul'dam says). But she also points out that there's a gap between what the Seanchan claim is true and what they actually seem to do -- they say they disapprove of healing but are having their damane learn the weaves.

Mat and Elayne's relationship seems to be fairly healthy here which honestly is fascinating given... you know. Tuon and the whole Seanchan defection. Elayne insults Mat when she greets him, but he finds it amusing, just as she suspected that he would. He's made up a throne for her in Andoran red-and-gold, extra cushioned, and with a still-steaming cup of tea waiting for her! Husband behavior! Not the kind of ~husband behavior~ that Mat derided all throughout TGS but actual "I care about your comfort" behavior.

She notes that his clothing "smelled of some kind of compromise" -- Tuon agreed to let Mat wear clothing in the style that he preferred as long as it was silk? Elayne also notes that he's wearing a pink ribbon around his hat. And that is also fascinating because Mat had two very specific memories about Tylin's (pink) ribbons in his second chapter in this book (right before he saw Tuon again), and they were both extremely negative. The first time was when his scarf around his neck reminded him of "a ribbon that felt like a chain" and the second was his flashback to the pink ribbons when he saw Tylin's headboard/bed. So for Mat to put a pink ribbon around his hat is... interesting. A reminder of the chains that he's still wearing? We're not in his PoV, so we don't get his reasoning, and I don't think he ever thinks about it in his own PoV.

"All in all, Elayne was impressed by how easily the scout mixed his obeisance and his report. She was also sickened. No ruler should demand such of her subjects. A nation's strength came from the strength of its people; break them, and you were breaking your own back."

I am also really really curious by what (silent) Fortuona might be thinking of the casual & intimate way that Mat and Elayne are talking to each other here, given how jealous she's gotten in the past. Elayne noted when she entered the tent that Fortuona was present ("dressed in enough green silk to supply a shop in Caemlyn for two weeks" and with Min standing silently at her side) but has not engaged with her at all.

"You spent this whole week planning with us, and you knew the entire time you'd throw [the plans] out with the dishwater." Anyway, Mat says that he didn't know the entire time, but that he needs to keep the plans in his head if they want them to be safe from the Forsaken. Also, Elayne, in contrast to most of the people who have interacted with Mat recently, is able to figure out what he's thinking just from a couple of micro-expressions.

But it's interesting/frustrating the implied changes that have happened over the course of this week of off-screen planning -- aka Tuon compromising with Mat. Because it happens off-screen, we don't actually find out why Tuon was willing to compromise - is it because, with all his friends around, she's realized that it would be impossible to control him with the methods she would use if they were alone, because he could just... walk fifty feet away and hang out with his powerful friends instead of being stuck with her if she pushes him too far (as he did in the previous chapter when she was trying to force him to sit in judgement)? Has she actually had off-screen character development (if so, stop having important emotional moments happen off-screen!)? We just don't know.

Mat is also still calling Fortuona "Tuon". And that scene ended with Elayne never, at any point, engaging with Tuon and she also never thinks of Fortuona as "Mat's wife", only as "the Seanchan Empress". Surely she has to know by this point that they're married but she Does Not Think About It. I genuinely have so many questions -- one of the primary ones being: where has Mat been sleeping this last week? Does the fact that Mat was saying "Tuon's tent" in the previous chapter mean that he has his own tent separate from hers? Tuon positioned "having sex" as a reward-type situation back when Mat first showed up in Ebou Dar, so is that time in the gardens the only time that they've had sex? Given that Tuon seems to want Min by her side constantly, if she did decide to have sex with Mat again, would she insist on Min staying in the tent with them to keep an eye out for sex-related omens? (we already know that Selucia and at least one or two other guard-slaves would likely be present) Has Mat been avoiding having sex with her or sleeping in the same tent as her so that she doesn't get another chance to steal his medallion? So many questions, absolutely nothing in the narration that gives me any hints at answers.

Okay, our first Mat PoV in this chapter is fascinating because Mat has basically the exact same thought here about Galad that he had about Tuon in an earlier chapter. Compare "[Galad] could have been a statue, with that pretty face and unchanging expression. No, statues had more life." vs "Mat shivered. He didn’t like it when Tuon got like this. That stare of hers... it seemed like the stare of another person. A person without compassion. A statue had more life to it." The Whitecloaks = Seanchan comparison is alive and well (or the Seanchan are what the Whitecloaks would be if they had the kind of continent-wide coercive power).

Min is spending all her time in the command tent whispering to Tuon. It sure feels like she swapped super-easily from being Rand's prophecy girl to being Tuon's prophecy girl (okay, okay, I'll cut her some slack since Rand did ask her to watch Fortuona). When Elayne's voice sounds "cold" here, Mat compares her to an Aes Sedai, unlike their earlier encounters. Also... it doesn't sound like Selucia is around? Did she get demoted again? Elayne also... sorta speaks to Tuon here? But then quickly swaps back to talking to Mat only lol.

Mat realizes that there's a spy either inside or just around the command tent, because of how quickly Demandred is responding to his changes.

Mat is amused by the fact that Elayne has managed to "shift" her throne around so that it's either the same height or slightly higher than Tuon's, so he hasn't ~embraced Tuon's dignity as his own~ or however the Seanchan might put it.

15. Hmm, we also have confirmation here that Mat has been... flirting (????? sexually harassing???? who knows with New Mat but probably harassing, sadly) with other Seanchan Bloods, if not in front of Tuon, then in front of people who would report to Tuon, which is another interesting piece of data to put into the puzzle. It really does seem like Mat has managed to (off the page) force a certain level of compromise into his marriage.

16. And, here, Mat slips away with just Elayne and Birgitte so that he can reassure Elayne about his plans in private, even though Tuon questions him walking away (and he doesn't even look back at her because "those eyes could drill through solid steel"). It genuinely seems like some fascinating stuff happened in that week of planning that we didn't get to see! Mat seems a lot less scared of doing things that will upset Tuon. But again, we don't know if that's actually due to a change in Mat and Tuon's relationship or if it's Mat's physical proximity to people who would unquestioningly take his side against hers that gives him new boldness.

17. He tells Elayne that he has a plan to deal with the spy that he believes is listening in at the command tent, and he goes through his entire thought process for her here, which is an astonishingly unprecedented amount of communication from Mat. So Elayne is in on his plan -- and away from the command post so that if things go wrong, she can pick another general to lead them; and he sent a message to Talmanes about his plan as well (that Talmanes signaled that he received), so the only remaining question mark for Mat is whether or not he can "coax" Tuon into doing what needs to be done.

I am going to say that I find it very interesting that when Mat is certain that there's a spy in the command tent and that their security is compromised, he finds a reason to get Elayne away from the command tent. The reason makes tactical sense, of course, but it's interesting.

18. Birgitte tells Elayne that all her older memories are gone now. Her first memories are of waking up to Nynaeve and Elayne in this world. Elayne wants to go after Birgitte, to try to comfort her, but Galad arrives. Galad isn't entirely certain why he's been sent here but he's got time to scold Elayne for being on the battlefield "in your condition". Elayne (accurately) points out that if they lose, it's gonna be a lot worse for the kids. So Elayne and Galad can talk about the kids together but Elayne and Tam can't?

19. Elayne knows Mat so well, even as she claims to despair over understanding him. "I'm convinced that Mat only acts simple so that people will let him get away with more."

20. A letter arrives for Galad from Mat, and Sanderson makes fun of himself when he has Elayne note that Mat's spelling and handwriting is much better in this letter than the one he sent her in ToM. Anyway, he's sent the copy he had of the medallion (Elayne does verify here that it's a copy and not the original) to Galad and told him to go kill as many Sharan channelers as he's capable of killing. Because he feels like "a Whitecloak" will have the stomach to go kill a bunch of channelers. When Galad agrees with Elayne that he shouldn't have a problem with "killing women" and explains that women are just as capable of evil as men are, Elayne tells him "You actually said something that doesn't make me want to strangle you." lol, ilu Elayne. Galad thinks she's joking but, no, of course not.

Characterization note: Mat never gave the medallion copy to Tuon. That was the whole reason that he'd originally held onto it after ToM, with plans to give it to Tuon to protect her. ...and then she stole his medallion and it sounds like he had to do some fast-talking to get it back. And then he never mentions or brings up the copy until this moment when he sends it to Galad.

Did Tuon's betrayal of Mat earlier in AMoL mean that he no longer trusted her with a medallion?

Did Tuon's own paranoia and mistrust screw her out of getting that extra level of protection and trust openly given from Mat, and so Mat held onto it to find another purpose for the copy instead?

21. Min apparently is still spending all her time here quietly whispering to Tuon. She's gotta be someone's little whisper, I guess. She's gotten used to it over the last few books. Anyway, Logain is here because he wants to go fight at Shayol Ghul instead of here at the "battle for the little lives of men". Or he wants to be sent against Demandred, as the "dragon's replacement". Mat finally just gives Logain permission to go fight Demandred if he wants to do it so badly.

22. Ah, here is where Mat has another willful delusion (number five? six? not sure): "What he would give to be done with all of these high heads. Mat might be one of them now, but that could be fixed. All he had to do was convince Tuon to forsake her throne and run off with him. That would not be easy, but bloody ashes, he was fighting the Last Battle. Compared to the challenge he now faced, Tuon seemed an easy knot to untie."

Made up a girl in his head, one that Fortuona will never be. Good luck with that, and all.

This does also show that Mat continues to have no interest in being part of the Seanchan hierarchy (and this is something that is backed up by his actions, like refusing to legitimize himself as the Prince of Ravens by refusing to sit in judgement of soldiers throwing themselves on the Empress's mercy). Though Mat shows signs of protectiveness and sometimes affection towards 'Tuon', he shows no signs of wanting to be involved with 'The Seanchan Empress Fortuona'. It does feel a bit like we're continuing the thread where Sanderson actually gave Mat a reason for his bizarre turnaround in CoT/KoD by having him mentally compare the fear that Tuon/the sul'dam have over channeling with the fear that Rand/male channelers have over channeling -- this is an echo of the 'Rand-friend vs Dragon Reborn-scary' battle that Mat has been having in his brain, off-and-on, ever since he first learned that Rand could channel. I wish that Sanderson had leaned into it more, but even this subtext here is more of an explanation for Mat's change in characterization in CoT than we ever got from Jordan.

I have to admit, the way that it's done does kinda remind me of BBC's Merlin -- in S1, Arthur and Merlin go through this entire character arc of Arthur looking past his prejudices about servants as he becomes Merlin's friend. And then the show aired and large parts of the audience went, "huh, kinda seems like they're in love with each other"; and so the show did a hard reset in S2 and Arthur basically went through that exact same arc with Gwen, who was always meant to be his canon love interest, and went back to being more of a jerk towards Merlin. And in WoT, Mat's struggle between caring about a person vs being put off by/scared of that person's public mask was first grounded in his friendship with Rand, but now it's basically been transferred over to Tuon instead. Basically "oh shit, this character arc makes this character look queer; better shift it over to his canon het love interest STAT".

(but imo this thread works so much better with Rand because the READERS know the real person behind the public mask; and I feel like we never really get that with Tuon -- there are hints that a real person exists but even in her own PoVs, it feels like Tuon is still mostly just The Mask)

23. Tuon signals that it's time for her and Mat to stage their fake fight about the Seanchan pulling out of the battle, picking "I can protect myself" as the issue she wants to fight over, which Mat thinks is kinda silly but whatever. "His plan with Tuon was to take a cue from what Rand had once done with Perrin". ...how did Mat find out about that? I guess from Min? Perrin was asleep and Rand was gone, so I guess it must have been from Min. I'm... pretty sure she knew the Rand & Perrin fight was fake? Or maybe Perrin told him about it during the dinner where Perrin laughed and laughed over how droll it was that Mat had married a slaver. Because Perrin and Mat got to have a reunion dinner.

24. A Gray Man attacks. I'm sorry... are we supposed to believe that this is the same Gray Man from Ebou Dar that escaped back in Mat's second chapter? Because I thought Shadowspawn (including Gray Men?) couldn't go through Gateways? Maybe this Gray Man also has Mat's non-channeling teleportation skills. Anyway, this time the Gray Man is attacking Mat just as channelers invade the command tent (so... literally proving the point that Mat had just made about how the tent was no longer secure) so Min... throws herself at Tuon to protect her? Why is Min's first instinct "protect the head slaver"? Why is Min in the tank for the Seanchan so quickly?

Min also manages to knock over Tuon's ten-foot tall throne, so it sounds like it's actually made of pretty flimsy materials. That kinda feels like an unintentional metaphor -- looks imposing but is basically paper mache. lol.

25. Anyway, this is the first time Tuon shows any shred of an actual... like... positive emotion towards Mat? (I don't count "laughing at him because she views him as a brainless sex toy" as a positive emotion) So I guess we should celebrate that. Because when everyone gets attacked, Tuon runs over to try to help Mat with the Gray Man, "growling softly in an almost feral way". Once again, I am deeply curious about the mysterious changes that happened in their relationship during that skipped over week of planning, that resulted in Tuon compromising with Mat and now appearing to actually give a shit that he might die (... or she might just be possessive and not want to lose her new favorite toy? But I will choose to extend the benefit of the doubt).

26. And, once again, Min's entire priority list seems to be Tuon. ?????? Why are you so obsessed with her? Since we're in your PoV right now, could you explain to the readers why you're so deep in the tank for the Seanchan and Fortuona? Would love a reason. Anyway, she can't reach her new-found love, Fortuona, so she slips out of the tent to see if she can help any other way, and runs into Siuan.

27. When Min tells her that she needs to go find Bryne because that's the only way she'll survive, Siuan says that she can't leave because "Cauthon is in danger." Hey, you were willing to call him 'Mat' back in book three. But anyway, she says, "If Cauthon falls, this battle is lost! I don't care if we both die from this. We must help. Move!" So. Siuan. The tent is on fire. Would you say that you were there to help Mat "when the flames are high?" Just asking.

28. Okay, there's a whole group of Gray Men attacking Mat, so we're not supposed to think it was the one from Ebou Dar. But that's a gun that never went off, now that I think about it.

29. MIN! Yelling at the terrified damane to help when her sul'dam is dead is pointless if you don't FREE HER from the collar. She isn't capable of channeling without her sul'dam's permission. You should know this. YOU WERE IN FALME WITH EGWENE! Egwene explained all of this to you! (also, I think Min left the poor nameless damane to die in the burning tent, since she would also be incapable of running away on her own if she's still leashed? Slave-masters always get rescued before slaves, after all, and Min has yet to actually voice any objections to slavery since she has joined up with the Seanchan)

30. Anyway, Min successfully throws a knife at the remaining Gray Man and Mat hauls an unconscious Tuon up over his shoulder, and we have sadly saved the head slaver's life yet again. "Never had [Min] been so happy to see a knife fly true." ????? I mean, I guess the idea is that saving Tuon means that Mat is willing to leave the burning tent but still... didn't she once save Rand's life during some event or other? Or maybe I imagined that and this is the first time Min's knife skills have ever been useful, idk.

31. Oh, and Siuan is dead. Happened when Min wasn't looking. So we traded Siuan's life for Tuon's. Not worth it. Min gets a break from being the Distressed Damsel because Rand isn't around and so Tuon gets assigned the role. I feel like... maybe the narrative should have focused on whatever it was that Siuan was doing to help there, instead of what Min did? Also, it seems somewhat convenient that Siuan died before she got a good look at Tuon, because Siuan has a Talent for seeing ta'veren.

32. I wish... I really wish that Sanderson had given us the compromise conversation between Tuon and Mat. I wish that we'd actually gotten that conversation on the page, instead of just implying that something has changed because Elayne notices the effects. Because then maybe I would also give a shit about Tuon instead of just kinda wishing that someone would let one of these assassins take her out.

33. Okay, our first ~Fortuona~ PoV since the week of planning that appeared to have led to compromises in her marriage with Mat. Let's see how things stand with little miss slaver. She refuses to be healed by damane herself, though she seems vaguely tolerant of the idea of other people being healed by them.

34. I have to roll my eyes over Fortuona thinking about how her slave-guard's 'honor' depends on her fatally punishing them for their failures. It's like how she pretended that she was the one who most regretted having had Selucia beaten a time or two back in her initial intro PoV, rather than the actual person who got their ass whipped. It's just toxic brain-vomit that speaks of how deeply conditioned Fortuona is by her culture. If she actually cared about any of them as people (she doesn't, of course; she cares about them as property that she owns) then she would care about trying to dismantle the part of their brainwashing culture that says that their lives should be forfeit if they have failed her.

Anyway, she assigns them to go off to be suicide troops in the battle. Oh, and Selucia is here now, in the aftermath, with an injury. So I guess she in the tent that whole time, it's just that no one mentioned her. Poor Selucia. She really has gone back to being nothing but Tuon's Voice.

35. Fortuona raises "Darbinda" aka Min to the Blood for saving her and Mat's life, and Min isn't impressed enough for her liking (I'm also not ever going to be using that name for Min again). "How like [Mat] she was. Stubbornly humble, these mainlanders. They were actually proud - proud - of their low-born heritage. Baffling." Have you- have you considered having an actual conversation with one of them about why? And about the name thing too -- both Min and Mat are people who actively choose to go by shortened versions of their names. Maybe ask them why they don't consider forcible re-naming to be an honor (and Fortuona should know that Mat feels that way, since she glared at him and willed him not to argue when she re-named him).

Though, of course, given that Fortuona Must Always Have Slaves Around Her at all times, having a conversation like that with Mat or Min becomes a bit trickier, because if they give good answers to her questions about why they don't care about being part of the Blood, Fortuona's slaves will hear those answers. That's a major downside to the whole "nothing is private (when you have slaves)" lifestyle that Fortuona is rocking. She probably doesn't even really understand what having privacy would be like (once again, I have to say what a huge mistake it was for Jordan to have Selucia along on the circus journey, because it meant that Tuon was still wallowing in her toxic slave-owner culture during that entire time period, because she always had a slave on tap to make sure that she kept The Mask up at all times). Because though Tuon doesn't see her slaves as people, she does always need to be The Owner when they are around (which is always).

36. Mat looks over to her and gives her a nod, to let her know that they should have their fake break-up fight now. Alas that it isn't a real break-up fight. So they fight over how Mat should have warned them all sooner that the tent wasn't safe. Interesting note: though many of the Seanchan look at Mat with "accusing" eyes after she lays her charge, Galgan frowns and Fortuona notes that he doesn't seem to agree with her accusation. "Impressive, that [Mat] had converted Galgan so quickly." Anyway, after a super-quick fight where Mat is just like "okay, fine, storm off in a tizzy if you want, see if I care"; Fortuona turns around and does just that.

37. Interesting that their fake fight actually got Mat's genuine temper up. And he wonders if Tuon was genuinely angry as well and if she will genuinely abandon the fight rather than come back as planned. Interestingly enough, Fortuona didn't have a single spark of genuine anger in her PoV. It was all her following the plan. So it sounds like the fight involved a lot more of Mat's genuine frustrations than it did Tuon's. "I've had it with you. You and your bloody Seanchan rules just keep getting in the way," does feel like a pretty accurate representation of how Mat has been feeling in a lot of the Seanchan-related scenes that he's been forcing himself to endure, yeah. But Fortuona assumed, in her PoV, that Mat was entirely acting and that none of his reactions were genuine -- "he was good at this". Mat and Tuon are still looking at each other and seeing someone completely different than the person who is really there.

38. What Mat says to Min here is also genuinely fascinating. I don't particularly like Mat & Tuon, even now, but I am finding them much more interesting (in a 'watching a bug through a glass' sort of way) than I ever found them in the Jordan books. Because Mat tells Min to "keep an eye on" Tuon and then clarifies that he doesn't mean in a "protection" way but in a "watch her" way. "She worries me, Min."

...I do kinda have to giggle at Mat saying that Tuon doesn't need protection and is a "strong one" when Mat literally just had to haul her unconscious ass out of a burning tent because she basically failed immediately when she went to go help him with the Gray Men. But, hey, I appreciate that Mat didn't let the narrative shoehorn Tuon into the role of his Personal Distressed Damsel even when it was clearly trying its hardest to force her into that position.

39. Oh, so Mat and MIN get a hug when they say goodbye. *eternal grumbles at how the ONLY PERSON who didn't get an emotionally appropriate reunion with Mat was his fucking best friend*

40. Ugh, is this where Mat starts calling her "Fortuona"? Because he's decided to take Karede's suicide troops into battle with him and Karede refuses to go with him if Mat won't call her "Fortuona"? I guess I'll wait and see if the way that he addresses her actually changes.

Anyway, Mat tells Karede to keep Mat alive "for Tuon" because he's "almost certain that she's fond of" him.

*gazes off into the distance, thinking about how everyone else that Tuon is 'fond' of is a slave that she owns and is fully willing to beat or order to their death if they fail her*

41. Bryne dying off-screen affects me a lot less than Siuan somehow managing to die off-screen in a scene that she was actively in. Elayne figures that Bryne's fit of rage that sent him running towards Trollocs and got him killed means that Siuan is dead.

Siuan and Moiraine never got to see each other again. 😭

(fingers crossed for her getting to take Thom's place as the watcher outside the cave in the show version, if we get to the ending)

42. Yeah, from what we've seen in every other PoV and perspective, Perrin is the only person who thinks that Elayne isn't good at tactics. So we can safely discount his opinion as just him being an asshole who thinks that the only woman worth listening to is his wife.

43. "The Shadow pushed with all its might. Humankind did not have days remaining, but hours."

44. A bolt of balefire attacks their camp, and Demandred loudly taunts "Lews Therin" that he is hunting "a woman you love". Of course, Rand can't respond to any of that, no matter how loudly Demandred echoes it across the battlefield with the Power. Birgitte grabs Elayne so that they can get somewhere secret and safe to regroup from, since Elayne herself is the main target now.

45. Of course, Galad can hear the threats and knows that Demandred is actively hunting his sister, so now he has twice the reason to try to kill the man -- killing his brother and trying to kill his sister. In order to get Demandred to fight him directly, Galad loudly proclaims his relationship to Rand. "[The Dragon Reborn] is not here, but his brother is!" And now Galad and Demandred will duel.

46. Mat finds out from Bashere that no one has heard from Faile. He wonders how he can possible finish off this battle without help from the Horn of Valere. ...maybe you shouldn't have deserted from the Last Battle at the start of the book, Mat? Just a thought. Mat yells at Bashere, which makes him grin and his wife give Mat a fond look -- hey, Mat, bet they'd be willing to let you be a third, especially if you yell at Bashere some more. Still healthier than your marriage with Tuon! Give it some consideration!

47. "He needed an army. And a gateway. He needed a bloody gateway. Fool, he thought. He had sent the damane away. Could he not at least have kept one? Though they did make his skin crawl as if it were covered in spiders." God, this is the first time since Winter's Heart that the narrative has let Mat openly think about how fucking creeped-out he is by damane and what the Seanchan do with them! Mat was so incredibly disturbed by the damane kennels in WH and then in CoT & KoD, he acted like it was the sul'dam who had the raw end of the deal. So, yeah, Mat's first chapter in AMoL had brain-breaking teleportation and he forgot half of his characterization until he was finally allowed out of fucking Ebou Dar (RIP any hopes of an emotionally-resonant Cauthor reunion), but we have seen, over the course of the last few chapters, the slow return of how incredibly disturbed and creeped-out Mat was over the damane system. This was the thing that Jordan essentially made Mat forget in order to get him to be willing to suck face with Tuon at the end of KoD, so it's really nice to see it coming back to life. Finally.

Maybe Min will also remember at some point how fucking awful the damane system is.

48. Oh, Mat gets to reunite with Loial now? *insert annoyed grumbles about how Mat & Rand is pretty much the only important relationship that got completely cheated by how Sanderson decided to do the plotting of AMoL*

Since I mention Rand:

Those dice kept ratting in his head. He also felt a pull from the north, a tugging, as if some threads around his chest were yanking on him.

Now now, Rand, he thought. I'm bloody busy.

No colors formed, only blackness. Dark as a Myrddraal's heart. The tugging grew stronger.

Mat dismissed the vision. Not. Now.

I feel so cheated that this ends up giving me nothing that I wanted, thanks! Why did we bother! I am vibing with so much of Mat's PoV in this book now that we're out of Light-forsaken Altara but I'm so frustrated by how much Sanderson is teasing something that I already know I will not actually get.

49. Mat gets to reunite with Teslyn here. Not that I am not thrilled to have Mat reunite with Teslyn because I am, but it does... frustrate me all over again, how shallow and limp the Cauthor reunion ended up being, all happening in the shadow of the slaver ball-and-chain. Every time Mat gets a better reunion with someone else, I feel cheated about his reunion with Rand all over again. Anyway, Mat is so happy to see Teslyn that he could kiss her. (he does not)

Teslyn is going to take Mat, Loial, & co up to the Heights. My brain wants to find something symbolic in the fact that after Mat sends away Tuon & the damane, the first channeler that he runs into is Teslyn and she is the one who is enabling all his battleground hopping as he sends out order after order.

Something, something, wrong road vs right road.

Tylin... Tuon... Teslyn. Women that Mat met in Ebou Dar who have similarly rhythmic 'T' names. Tuon was jealous of Joline but it was Teslyn who started the ball rolling on Mat helping the Aes Sedai escape Ebou Dar.

idk. Maiden, mother, crone vibes, but the maiden & the mother are both abusive?

50. Demandred and Galad duel; Demandred tries to taunt Galad about Gawyn's death in order to break his focus. Galad realizes that the main purpose of what he's doing here is keeping Demandred's focus off of the armies and off of Elayne. It's in Galad's best interests to last as long against Demandred as he can. Some more fighting happens but then Galad's arm gets cut off, and he too, has lost his duel against Demandred.

51. I've seen objections to Mat personally leading the fight at this point but -- the situation is pretty dire and his command tent was blown up. Maintaining a mobile unit and darting in and out of the battle seems like the best of the bad options at this point?

52. For the moment, Elayne and Birgitte are out of the direct line of the fight. Elayne is not currently flying her banner, but she's sent messages to her commanders to let them know she still lives. Then a fake band of refugees arrives, hiding Mellar, who still has his copy of the medallion and who is here because he is still obsessed with Elayne. She thinks here that he's "the one many people still assumed fathered her children". So Elayne sent out the "Rand is the baby-daddy" press release but some people actively chose to continue to believe that slimy Mellar was the daddy? Gross. He has, apparently, been trying to track Elayne down this entire time.

53. He kills Birgitte and the loss of the bond -- and the loss of her friend -- tears at Elayne. They also have another corpse -- a woman dressed to look like Elayne, with her hair color -- that they plan to parade around to pretend to everyone that Elayne is dead. His next plan is to cut her babies out of Elayne -- ah, this must be why we jumped her pregnancy so far ahead, so that it wouldn't be quite so ridiculous that her babies could be kept alive after this -- and TDO gets the kids while Mellar gets to keep Elayne.

54. Mat has requested that the Seanchan make their return to the battlefield but instead of doing that, Fortuona is taking some time to listen to her captains debate over the subject of returning. While people suffer and die on the battlefield.

55. ...Min thinks here, with no commentary, that a Captain Yulan "had been the one to lead the strike on Tar Valon". Do you... have any opinions on that, Min? No? No opinions. Okay, noted. Her only worry is that she's started to think of her viewings as 'omens'. She really does lose herself in other people so easily. For literally the first time ever, Min uses her viewings to try to suss out a spy. Wow, Rand would have found this extremely useful, Min! She notices that one of the random so'jihn (those are slaves, Min, btw, in case you've forgotten about the existence of slavery) has a bunch of images over her head the way that normally only Aes Sedai, Warders or ta'veren do.

56. Part of her wants to just try to stab the woman, but instead she goes to confront Fortuona, asking her to please define what a Truthspeaker is. Fortuona... reluctantly... allows that it's her job to call Fortuona out in public if she screws up. So Min turns to the Blood and says, "[Tuon] has abandoned the armies of humankind, and she withholds her strength in a time of need. Her pride will cause the destruction of all people, everywhere."

She calls out the member of the Blood that the spy has compelled while throwing a dagger at the spy -- which is caught mid-air using the Power. After Moghedien (I'm assuming) escapes, Min says that this shows that the Shadow is trying to keep them from the battle. "With that in mind, will you still pursue this course of indecision?"

57. Tuon does claim here that following this mandate that Min has pressed upon her is "follow[ing] what my heart would choose". Is that true? Who knows? At least she's going back. Tuon also seems to regret slightly that she's now placed someone into the position of Truthspeaker who doesn't have the kind of trained-in deference that Selucia had. Grass is always greener.

Question: does Tuon's 'heart' matter if she still actively chooses evil unless her feet are held to the fire? That is the sort of... moral question that I feel like should have been at play way earlier in the Mat & Tuon relationship. Sanderson is actually using the basic foundations of Mat & Tuon to much greater emotional complexity than we saw at work in CoT & KoD but because it's happened after we already saw that stagnant Tuon in those two books... it's hard for this to feel earned by the narrative. It works a lot better if I close my eyes and try to imagine that we had a better lead-up in the earlier books, lol.

58. Mat learns that Egwene has died (Blood and bloody ashes, Mat thought. Egwene. Not Egwene too? It hit him like a punch to the face.) and half the Aes Sedai have exhausted themselves too much to keep channeling but all the Sharan channelers have been taken out of the picture. Then we also witness Mat's coping mechanism in action -- when his mind wanders back to Egwene, he abruptly cuts the thought off. "No thinking of that right now". Instead, he forces his mind back to business and asks if they've gotten any new troops from Mayene, healed up and ready to fight again. Lan says that he'll check.

59. Then Mat digs in his saddlebags, pulling out Rand's banner, "the one of the ancient Aes Sedai" and he tells them, "Somebody hoist this thing up. We're fighting in Rand's bloody name. Let's show the Shadow we're proud of it."

So many things that could be said here. Frustrating how late this happens? I guess that's my main feeling here, which is a shame. I wish that it could feel more triumphant for me, but this is essentially where Mat already was before he had his weird teleportation to Ebou Dar at the start of AMoL, so it's mostly just me being frustrated that none of this was allowed to exist when Rand was actually here for Mat to interact with him. Mat's friendship with Rand disappeared from the narrative just long enough to avoid us actually getting any kind of emotionally-resonant scene between them and that just... will probably always be something that I will find deeply regretful about the choices Sanderson made in this book.

But I don't want to hold onto my frustration forever, I guess. Mat really has gotten a lot better over the last few chapters. I will choose to be glad that Mat has gotten to a better place again with Rand, even if it's still bizarre that he suddenly backtracked on him at the start of this book.

60. Mat is hoping that his luck will come through when another messager brings news. The Queen of Andor is reported dead. (Bloody ashes! Not Elayne! Mat felt a lurch inside. Rand... I'm sorry.) Just like with Egwene, though, he doesn't let any of that emotion show through to the soldiers, only asking the messenger who is now in charge of the battlefield.

61. He wonders if he might not be able to win even if the Seanchan do return. If it might not be better to let the Seanchan/Fortuona hunker down in Ebou Dar and... die anyway in a few weeks or months? lol, that's not a mercy for them, Mat. But he did just hear that two people he cares about deeply are dead, so I'll give him a little slack for momentarily wishing that he didn't have to call Tuon back to her potential death too, even if he's still never given me anything he actually likes about her besides "hot enough to have sex with".

...oh, and he then learns here that Lan disobeyed his orders and went off to head towards Demandred on his own.

But Mat moves forward with his plan anyway, even though he's fairly sure it won't be enough.

Horn of Valere Team (Faile; Olver)

Faile & co run across a camp in the Blasted Lands that is being used as a supply station for the Shadow's army.

Aravine betrays the group and is a Darkfriend. I am... struggling to remember who she is. brb, will check the wiki. ahhh, she's one of the people that Faile met while she was a captive of the Shaido; a fellow captive. Anyway, Darkfriend, and she finds the Horn in Faile's bag at this point and says that she will deliver it to "Lord Demandred". Olver gets free and stabs the woman who is keeping Faile captive.

Faile grabs a horse (miraculously, it is Bela) and gives chase after Aravine, soon joined by Harnan and Vanin. She accuses them of trying to steal the Horn but they protest that they were only trying to steal the tabac that they thought she was carrying, because Mat owes them money, and seeing the Horn in there came as a huge shock to them (which is why they dropped it and didn't take it with them when they ran).

She throws a knife at Aravine's back and recovers the Horn. She finds Olver again, but they are being hunted by the Shadow's forces, who now know they have the Horn. She gives the Horn to Olver and tells him to get it to Mat. Then she gets back on a different horse (not Bela), making sure that the sack she carries is obvious, and heads off on distraction duty.

So Olver has the Horn. He's pretty stressed because now he's all alone again, as the Darkfriends and Trollocs chase after Faile. "How brave he had thought himself. Now, here he was, finally at the battle. He could barely keep his hands from trembling. He wanted to hide, dig deep into the earth."

A Trolloc discovers him and Olver sees Bela still there and runs for her, wishing he had a horse that looked faster. He races towards where he can see Mat's banners on the horizon, but more Trollocs keep appearing. And Bela gets shot by a Trolloc arrow and goes down. He tries racing up the mountain to reach Mat's banners but they're so far away. He finds a crevasse and wedges himself into it, trying to push deep enough that he's out of the reach of the Trollocs. Poor kid. This is all incredibly traumatizing for him.

He couldn't stop shaking. He also couldn't make himself move. He trembled, terrified, as the beasts pried at him with filthy fingers, digging closer and closer.

Other Misc PoVs

We get a Tam PoV that continues to have zero acknowledgement of the whole "Tam knows he's going to be a grandfather" thing. It's just weird at this point.

Okay, what Uno thinks about Mat ("He still didn't understand why anyone would put Cauthon in charge of anything. He remembered that boy, always snapping at people, eyes sunken in his head. Half-dead, half-spoiled.") should also have been what Min remembered about Mat. The last time they both saw him was around that same time period of Falme, when Mat was deep in the grip of the dagger-sickness. This is the Mat that Min would have met!

Perrin wakes up and is told that they were able to heal him so that he wouldn't die and will recover but that's all they can do for him. Healing needs to be saved for other people too, so "your participation in the Last Battle is over". And then he goes back to sleep, but regular sleep this time.

Graendal collects Rhuarc as one of her pets. 😭

...why am I supposed to care that Demandred has feelings for women (or, I guess, A Woman)? I really have absolutely no reason to care about Demandred's love life. Why am I being told any of this? Was someone worried that readers would think Demandred was gay for obsessing so much over Lews Therin, so a "Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?" moment was thrown in to avoid that? It does seem put in to deliberately contrast for his, uh, "burning passion that was his hatred for Lews Therin".

Another possibility is that this is a relationship meant to foil/reflect Mat and Tuon's? Shendla sounds just as willfully delusional about her future with ~her Wyld~ as Mat always sounds when he's thinking about his Fictional Tuon Girl. "Oh, just because you do evil things and control an evil army of literal horrors doesn't make you evil, darling! Just because you own slaves command Shadowspawn doesn't make you bad, sweetheart! The evil things that you do don't define you! You can do evil things and be a super-great person! I believe in you!"

We get another Tam PoV where he doesn't think at all about his impending post-Last Battle grandfatherhood.

Our third Tam PoV. No acknowledgement of Elayne's pregnancy and how Rand has been announced to be the father. We have time for Tam to run into Lan and for Lan to be all "ah, the blademaster who gave Rand his sword earned the title" but no time to think about Tam's actual upcoming grandkids. It's so weird how disconnected Elayne's pregnancy manages to be from Rand's plotline even after Rand and her entire army all know about the pregnancy and that Rand is the father! Somehow, this plotline is still only considered relevant to Elayne herself and not relevant to Rand or Tam at all????

Androl pickpockets Taim for the true seals, I think? I feel like maybe Sanderson should have leaned into the pickpocketing thing for Androl. tbh, this plotline has felt pretty pointless, lol. The Asha'man could have just been part of the army in the other plotlines and nothing of value really would have been lost.

Okay so... why are the Sharan channelers such experts in war, anyway? Because it doesn't sound like they've constantly been having civil wars, the way that the Seanchan have, so where have they been getting their experience in fighting? You can't become an expert fighter in a vacuum.

The Band has been secretly hidden in caverns deep underground so that they can work on repairing the dragons (with Aludra's expertise guiding the way, of course), waiting on Mat's order (with Asha'man and gateways to get them out again) for them to attack once more.

The Tuatha'an work as battlefield triage, going through the bodies trying to find those who are only wounded and might be saved. "The Way of the Leaf was an easy master at times, providing a life of joy and peace. But a leaf fell in calm winds and in the tempest; dedication demanded that one accept the latter as well as the former."

Raen asks Ila what they would have asked these people to do, in the face of Trollocs. Ila says that they could have run. That there was no need for them to fight here, right at the cusp of the Blight. Raen says that the Trollocs would have followed. "We have accepted many masters. The Shadow might treat us poorly, but would it really be worse than we have been treated at the hands of others?" Ila asks, but Raen disagrees. "It would have been worse. I am not going to abandon the Way, Ila. It is my path and it is right for me. Perhaps... perhaps I will not think quite so poorly of those who follow another path." Ah. They're talking about/mourning Aram. Ila says, "I shouldn't have turned my back on him. I should have tried to help him return to us, not cast him out." She had always felt as if she knew the answers in life. Today, most of those had slipped from her. Saving a person's life though... that she could cling to. She headed back among the bodies, searching for the living among the dead.

Galad ends up in the Mayane hospital. I wonder if he still has his copy of the medallion. I assume he does. Not sure when he'd have had a chance to give it back.

Ah, asked and answered. Berelain finds the medallion around Galad's neck as he whispers "back to Cauthon", so she takes the medallion and heads off at a brisk pace.

Loial and Erith take a moment to rest together before the final charge of the Last Battle. Loial has managed to take notes here and there, for a story that he'd like to pretend that he'll still get to write. "There was no harm to such a little lie."

The night grows darker as Lan charges towards Demandred and we pass our final Tam PoV of this chapter... still no mention of the fact that he knows he's going to have grandkids. (or the news going through the army that Elayne is reported dead? or anything like that?)

18. Ah, Lan was the one who received the note from Berelain with the medallion - I do not know how Galad ended up with this, but I believe he wished me to send it to Cauthon. I wish that Lan had cleared this plan with Mat tbh! But anyway, Lan does have three things here as he faces off with Demandred: one that Gawyn had (he's a Warder, with that boost in endurance) and one that Galad had (a medallion to protect him from weaves) plus he also has twenty years of experience fighting at the side of an Aes Sedai in a quest to locate the Dragon Reborn. It sounds very much like his reasoning is the same as Gawyn and Galad as well -- this is a necessary job, and I'm a person who is already here and can be risked to do that job.

19. "Lan held nothing back." He knows that he can't afford to give Demandred time to think, so he just goes for a relentless assault. Demandred does pretty quickly figure out the 'just channel things at him' trick, so Lan is dealing with dodging rocks as well. Demandred is just so certain that anyone who can hold their own against him is Lews Therin! It's honestly been kinda the comic relief of this chapter.

20. Then he uses one of the lessons that he taught Rand (that Rand used in his battle against Ishamael in Falme) -- he deliberately lets Demandred stab him so that he can get close enough to stab his own sword through Demandred's throat.

The world grew dark as Lan slipped backward off the sword. He felt Nynaeve's fear and pain as he did, and he sent his love to her.

[batsplat]

let’s talk about casey/vale helmet swap https://www.tumblr.com/charlespecco/667773184404324352/they-got-the-taste-for-it

(link)

we should!! dropped everything when this happened, big big day for the feud lovers amongst us. here are the posts in all their glory:

jacket and cap situation - and possibly even cardboard box situation - changed between photos, raising the exciting possibility that more than one meeting occurred at this venue, perhaps even on separate days. and more documentation of the historic event:

casey's got a helmet with a little turtle on it sitting somewhere in his house... peeking at the helmets and the captions, clearly "pleasure" was very much the word of the moment

during that weekend valentino said this:

while casey said this:

discussed here but there really is something to how valentino always talks about casey's talents and casey always talks about valentino's smarts. also details that are important to me personally, like valentino's (sincere) enjoyment of that rivalry, how casey would have enjoyed to see valentino fighting at the front, the learning from valentino thing, this idea of casey's achievements being validated by racing in his era... yeah that weekend gave me a lot

this is obviously all hugely endearing but deadass the funniest aspect of this whole encounter is that like,,, y'know, casey was talking shit about valentino less than a month after the race weekend where they met. I just don't think there's a purer distillation of their unique, beautiful dynamic for casey to show up, take some smiling photos with valentino, say "the pleasure was all mine", while during the same time span extensively having a go at valentino to the press. complete disconnect as ever, this disciplined dedication to never moving on that is... well, I was about to call it 'unmatched', but I suppose valentino shows he can very much match it when it comes to non-casey rivals. the two supreme grudge holders, bless them. like I need to be very clear here that casey was saying this in the very same month in which these photos were taken:

just so charming to me. "the pleasure was all mine" casey are you sure though. zero compunction at chatting shit about valentino in practically the same breath where he's the-pleasure-was-all-mine-ing him, like this is a crucial aspect of his characterisation. these little details like him having another go at valentino over the towing (a lovely theme of their rivalry, casey in general was on a bit of a one man crusade against towing)... "he was good in the head-to-head battles, but also at catching a tow" - there's no real relationship between these two statements, bit of a non sequitur if we're being honest, which is delightful because it lets you know it's something that still pisses casey off years later. one of those things where you can tell he's been sitting on this for nine years, just like the intense ducati schadenfreude - the years have passed, but the emotions never fade <3. "from then on, I didn't want to be his friend" so you wanted to be his friend before that, casey? is that what you're saying? it's so key to this rivalry that every single element of it was felt so intensely by casey.... whereas valentino is going "can't do this, too many memories" buddy full on having his nostalgic moment because this rivalry has just gone down in his mind as a fondly remembered part of his career he has done zero hand-wringing or reflection about in the intervening nine years. what a fantastic little episode like it really nails their dynamic perfectly in the year of our lord 2021

this is why they're great, right... if you put them in a situation where they just talk face-to-face, they would be fine. yeah, even if you made them get dinner together if the premise of the conversation isn't exploring their respective challenges, emotional revelations and soul-searching. their interpersonal chemistry is decent, casey enjoyed chatting to valentino... always, always it was valentino the character and not valentino the person he has his problems with. you can tell valentino thought casey was all right too - the podcast thingy confirmed my belief that valentino just fundamentally did not vibe with jorge from day one in a way that clearly isn't true of valentino's relationship with the other aliens. valentino took one look at jorge and went 'hm this guy seems annoying', but casey? yeah no he'd happily chat with him, just plays it by ear depending on how the rivalry is going and sometimes enforces a little distance just because. no complicated feelings, no massive emotional investment, no compunctions about any element of how that whole story unfolded. when they meet again, there's no real ill will because,, hey, they just did a bunch of things to each other rivals sometimes do to each other, right? whereas casey - my intrepid little grudge holder and reluctant student of the dark arts of communication - doesn't waste the opportunity to proselytise his version of events to the press shortly after the encounter, a tasteful full week after valentino's final race. whole thing fits in perfectly with my thesis that casey sometimes gets to play the valentino role in this rivalry - and does such a lovely job at it. love them both, love this encounter, love that casey's "the pleasure was all mine" is so blatantly flirting with dishonesty. a meeting of the greats

[heyymikki]

lamb to the s l a u g h t e r

LOCATION: Hotel in Las Vegas FEATURED: @giovanniiricci @elliottortegax MENTIONED: @maevemacnally, @nikodimopoulos

It was done.

The article she had been working on for months was finished and had been posted both on the Tribune's website and on the front page of the print edition.

It was strange how her feelings for the town and the people in it had significantly changed since she had agreed to Dante's ultimatum nearly three years ago. A place she had never anticipated feeling any attachment to had become home, the people in it her friends and family. Now, with it all in jeopardy, she couldn't in good conscience stand aside and let it happen without putting up a fight to make up for her part in it all. What better way to stick it to the head of the organization that had blackmailed her than to use those same connections to out him for who he really was?

And yet... she had miscalculated. What she had viewed as a mercy of not pulling her friend into it ahead of time given all she was going through turned out to be the exact opposite, blindsiding her friends with the reminder of what they had lost.

Grief reared its head in all kinds of ways, but she hadn't expected the pushback. She hadn't expected the anger from Maeve and her family when she thought she was doing something to help, keeping the names of those lives lost at the forefront of the conversation -- a reminder that they hadn't been forgotten, that there were still people searching for the answers to why they had had their lives senselessly taken from them. Now, because of her own selfish pursuit of redemption, she had hurt others and possibly ruined their friendship for good.

Every day since Niko had told her of the collapse of Los Santos -- and as a result, her ring of protection -- she waited for the businessman to retaliate. There was nothing: no refuting her claims, no spinning of some kind of PR story to explain away the evidence she had found. The silence was deafening.

Still, life moved forward. She still had to go to work, put a smile on her face like she wasn't terrified of the other shoe dropping. The weekend of the music festival quickly approached, and she tried to allow herself to enjoy the idea of letting go and forgetting her cares for even a few hours, even though the last couple of events hadn't gone well. But first, she had to meet a client.

Luna had gotten a request for an evening on the Friday of the festival weekend. Niko insisted she cancel, but she figured before she had to face the ire of those in town she'd upset, she could have the distraction of a night in Vegas. To appease him, she kept her personal phone on her with her location enabled as she made her way to the meeting place.

The opulent hotel lobby shimmered in bright white marble with accents of gold throughout. It was enough to tell her that whoever her client was had a lot of money. If she did well tonight, she wouldn't have to work for a little while. She could help Niko with the restaurant, or they could go to Greece like they had talked about. It felt so long ago already, though it had only been a few weeks realistically.

"Excuse me," she greeted the man behind the check-in counter with a smile. "I was told there would be a key waiting for Luna?"

"Ah, yes, I have that here for you." He pulled out a drawer beneath the desk and pulled a keycard from inside, double checking the room number before jotting it down onto the sleeve.

"Thank you. Is he already up there?" Receiving a nod in response, she smiled and thanked him once more before heading to the elevators, heading for one of the penthouse suites. These were her last few moments alone before she'd have to put on an act for the remainder of the evening. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath, trying to brush away the uneasy feeling settling like a weight in her chest. Just one night, then she'd be able to work on everything else later.

The elevator dinged, doors sliding open to the appropriate floor, and she searched for the appropriate room number. Usually when clients left a key at reception, they wanted things to keep things discrete, so she didn't bother to knock, using the key to let herself in.

The room was dim with only a few lamps lit around the common area, and she didn't immediately notice anyone inside. A table in the eat-in kitchen was set with two glasses of wine and two plates covered by metal domes to trap the heat inside and keep it fresh, but she caught whiffs of something earthy and sweet. "Hello?" she called. Maybe he was getting cleaned up, she thought. "Is anyone here?"

"Hello, Miss Beaumont."

Every bone in her body stiffened at his voice. She'd listened to enough interviews and campaign speeches to know the voice of Giovanni Ricci.

If only she had trusted her gut.

Giovanni casually strode from one of the side rooms, a coy smile on his lips like a cat who'd cornered its prey. She backed up towards the door but was immediately halted in her pursuit by a broad, hard chest behind her. The security guard gripped onto her arms to hold her in place as another locked the door.

"I'm so glad you could join me this evening. Please, sit." Giovanni motioned towards the seat across the table as he took his own, unbutton his suit jacket as he did so.

Mikayla was forced into the seat, though she struggled to get out of the guard's grasp. He grabbed the decanter full of red wine and poured some into each of their glasses. "You're not an easy person to get alone, you know." When she didn't respond, he continued. "I read your article, of course. It wasn't entirely accurate, but I was genuinely impressed by what you managed to uncover. I don't imagine you could have done that without help." His gaze flicked up to meet hers. "I'm curious to know who your sources were."

"I wouldn't be a decent journalist if I didn't protect the anonymity of my sources," she replied.

Giovanni chuckled. "You'd be surprised at what information even a person with integrity is willing to share when they're subjected to pain beyond imagination."

Mikki held her breath. "Is that what you're going to do to me?"

"Perhaps. It depends on you, really." He held his glass in the air, waiting for her to do the same. He raised an expectant brow, the silent tension growing every moment she delayed. Finally, she lifted her own glass and held it up, allowing him to gently tap them together. "I'm hoping it won't come to that if we can reach some kind of agreement."

"Is that all you want to know? My sources?"

"Mm, well," he started after a sip of the wine, "right now, yes, but questions beget questions and so on and so forth." He waved a dismissive hand in the air. "You know how it goes."

"No, actually. This is my first time being interrogated for information."

The other guard who had locked the door came to the table to lift the covers off the plates, revealing a filet paired with mushrooms in some sort of wine cream sauce and mixed vegetables on the side. If it had been offered by anyone else, she would have begun eating right away, but she didn't trust that none of the food had been poisoned or tampered with. That didn't stop the man from digging into his own dinner.

"It's rude not to eat," he remarked, watching her.

"It's rude to kidnap someone, too," she retorted.

"I'd hardly call it kidnapping when you came of your own volition," Giovanni chuckled again. "I suppose if you don't eat it, our other guest will."

Mikayla furrowed her brow. "Other guest?"

As if on cue, the muffled sound of a groan came from the room Giovanni had come from. Mikayla's eyes darted in that direction, her heart racing in her chest. She wouldn't put it past him to use someone in her life to get her to talk based off of everything else she'd learned about the man, but the number of people it could be had become an ever-growing list over the last few years. Who could he have grabbed without anyone else noticing?

"Ah, he's awake. Bring him here, would you?" Giovanni didn't even look up to address the guard, but the man nodded and made his way into the room, grappling with whoever was being held there.

Mikayla's eyes grew wide as a bloodied Elliott was dragged into the room and thrust into the third chair at the table. "Dad! What is he doing here? What did you do to him?!"

"I've grown tired of the traitors within my organization who believe I don't know of their disloyalty," Giovanni replied in a bored tone around the steak in his mouth. The man glanced across the table at her, face stoic. "He's been watching you and your mother for years using our resources. If only he'd done more to hide his allegiances, I might have believed he was true to the cause."

Her father was a part of The Enterprise? The news shook her to her core, but she did her best not to let Giovanni see it. The last thing he needed to know was another one of her weaknesses to use against her.

"If you tell me what I want to know, you both can walk out of here and you'll never have to worry about me again. And if you don't... Well." He smirked. "I'll be forced to get creative."

[fratboykate]

Hi again,

I’ve loved the angst of Kate and Yelena dealing with Tom’s temper tantrums. I am curious of Kate and Yelena’s early relationship though. Like if Kate didn’t know she was a lil fruity when was her first gay panic moment after her and Yelena first started being more than friendly? Was Kate like “shit…am I gay for this little Russian grinch” or was she just chill with it and like “okay… so apparently I like women now.” I guess I’m asking was she in an experimental phase that turned into not a phase or was it like she was low key always curious about dining at the Y. Like in my head cannon I can totally see Kate calling Suze or Greer and being like “help…I think I’m gay” after a long day of flirting with Yelena and a somewhat naughty dream starring Yelena shattering Kate’s back🤭

p.s. this is the same 2 barbie’s/ken scenario anon

---

Yelena’s such a grump! Honey you’ve got a big storm coming. I’m loving this early dynamic between them though! Would love to know who initiated/ finally made the moves on the other?

///

Here's 8.3k of what happens not too long after Yelena's birthday. I'd say within a few days. Mild sin included lol. This is this long and it's 90% dialogue. Imagine if I fully wrote this out like I did CFAU or even the AO3 KYAU chapters? It'd be like 20k 🤓

---

Yelena buzzes around the kitchen, gearing up to make herself a post-workout smoothie. Her skin is still damp and covered in a thin layer of semi-dry sweat, strands of her hair spill out of her messy braid, and she wears nothing but a sports bra and matching Jiu-Jitsu spats. 

Yelena pours almond milk into the blender when she’s interrupted by thumping on her door. For an instant, she considers ignoring it. That would mean pretending she’s not home, but that seems short-sighted when she’s seconds away from running a blender within earshot of the door. 

Yelena grunts and stomps to the entrance, knowing only one of two people could be on the other side. She swings the door open to predictably find an upbeat Kate resting her shoulder against the doorjamb with a silly grin on her face.

“Hi.”

“What do you want?”

“Sometimes a ‘hello’ goes a long way, you know that?” Yelena stares at her impassively, not giving Kate an inch, but Kate is not playing her game today. She’s going to force Yelena into small talk because she now knows for a fact that Yelena is perfectly capable of being pleasant. Kate takes in Yelena’s appearance - the disheveled look, the sweat, the fitted clothes - and decides to pursue that angle. “You were working out?”

“Just got back from the academy?” Kate looks stumped. “Jiu-Jitsu.”

“No clue what that is.”

“Martial arts thing. Doesn’t matter. What do you want, Kate?”

“Ohhh...she has hobbies! Is it like a fighting thing?”

“Yes. What. Do. You. Want? I’m closing this door in fifteen seconds if you don’t tell me.”

“You’re impossible...I have a big work thing. Fundraising gala for our national trade org. Fancy schmancy dinner. Open bar. Don’t worry about the expensive tickets. I already made my mom pay for those. It’s her charitable deduction for the month. Thing is…I have two of those tickets…”

“No.”

Kate presses forward.

“…I HAVE TWO TICKETS and my friend who was supposed to go with me just came down with strep. All my other friends have plans tonight. I already have a sitter and it would look REALLY bad to have an open seat at our table.”

“I don’t do…social things…people.”

“It’s for charity.”

“You said you already paid for the tickets. Charity was already made. Who cares if the seat is open?”

“Half of charity work is optics. Photographers are there. Photos go out to donors and press. They want to see overflowing events so that more people want to go to their next events. Vicious cycle.”

“No.”

“It’s free food and drinks…and I’d like to think not terrible company.”

“You’ve lived in New York your entire life. I’m sure you have other people you can call. Good night, Kate.”

Yelena shuts the door in Kate’s face.

—

Not five minutes later, another knock interrupts Yelena’s highly anticipated smoothie time. Yelena opens the door halfway through an eye roll seeing as she's fully expecting Kate again, but, to her surprise, it's the little one.

“Mommy’s on the phone with Suzu and she says she asked you to come to a party with her and you said no. Why did you tell my mommy no?”

“Ereka, that’s none of your business. Go home.”

“Why did you say no?”

“Who’s Suzu anyway?”

“My mommy’s big sister. Like I'll be when I get a little sister.”

“Why is she telling her sister that she asked me to come to this party?”

“She was asking my Suzu too, but she can’t come to the party. Why can’t you come?”

“Because I’m busy.”

“With what?”

“Things.”

“What things?”

“You said your mom was on the phone. Does she know you’re out here?”

“No.”

“Go back. Go. I’ll watch you and make sure you close the door.”

“Not until you say yes to go with my mommy.”

“I’m busy!”

“I think you’re lying and mommy says lying is bad.”

“Ereka. Go. Home.”

“I go home if you say yes.”

“Why is a five-year-old trying to blackmail me?”

"What does blackmail mean?"

"What you're trying to do right now."

They scowl at each other in silence for a beat, sizing the other up.

“Can we make a deal?”

“I’m not making deals with preschoolers.”

“You have to go with my mommy.”

“Why are you so intent on me going to this party?”

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Depends.”

“I can’t tell you if you won’t keep it.”

“I won’t keep it if it’s illegal or dangerous to keep it.”

Ereka huffs.

“Miss Mary falls asleep on the couch almost right as my mommy leaves. If I move the breakfast chair in front of the fridge really quiet, I can climb it and get to the cookies mommy hides up there. I’ve been wanting cookies all day. If you don’t go with my mommy, then she’s going to stay home and I won’t get cookies, so I need you to go with her.”

Yelena makes a concerted effort to remain stoic, but after about ten seconds, she cracks and smiles.

“You want me to say yes to going to a party only so you can Oceans Eleven yourself some cookies while your babysitter sleeps? I will get you cookies myself if I don’t have to go to this thing.”

“My mommy won’t let you. You have to go…I’ll save you some. As payment.”

“EREKA!” Kate scrambles out the door, panicked, the phone still glued to her ear, to find the two blondes chatting at Yelena’s door. “How the hell did you get out?! Get back here right now! What is wrong with you?!”

Before Ereka can incriminate herself, Yelena perplexingly steps in to defend her.

“She didn’t. Get out, I mean.”

“What?…Suze, I’ll call you back.”

“I knocked. To…” Yelena glances down at the kid, already regretting the words about to leave her mouth. “…let you know I changed my mind. I’ll come tonight.”

“Yessssssssss.” Ereka quietly rejoices.

“She told me you were busy on the phone and would pass on the message, then offered to escort me back to my place.”

Kate squints her eyes, struggling to believe this whole scenario, but choosing to let it be.

“Right…We have to leave by six fifteen. Gala starts at seven. Ri, come on. I need to get ready.” Ereka runs off and past her mother into their apartment. Kate lingers. “Thank you.”

Yelena offers a single, firm nod before disappearing back into hers.

—

Fifteen minutes later, Ereka entertains herself in front of the bathroom mirror, messing about with Kate’s makeup while the older woman hums a tune in the shower. There’s a knock on Kate’s door.

“Someone’s knocking on the door, mommy.”

“Don’t open it! Ask who it is.” Ereka jumps off the counter and out of the bathroom. After a beat of silence, Ereka runs back into the bathroom. “It’s Yelena.”

“Are you sure?”

“She says it’s her and it sounded like her.”

Kate wavers for a moment while thinking.

“You can open the door. Ask her what she needs.”

Without hesitation, Ereka bolts toward the front of the apartment. After another long pause, Ereka returns to the bathroom.

“She says she needs to talk to you.”

“About what?”

Ereka runs off again and is back shortly.

“She says she has nothing to wear to a ’schwancy wancy’ thing.”

Kate chuckles. 

“Tell her I’ll be right out.”

“Okay!”

Ereka rushes out the door once more. 

—

Moments later, Kate steps out to the living room, dripping wet and wearing no more than a minuscule towel wrapped around her torso that barely covers the important bits. She finds Yelena and Ereka engrossed in one of the little girl’s didactic games. The scenario makes Kate involuntarily smile. 

“I hear you have a fashion emergency?”

Yelena looks up, ready to make a snarky quip, but her words get caught in her throat and her hands become clammy when she takes in the sight of Kate in the towel.

“Uhm…sorry…I…uh…forgot I already had most of my stuff shipped out. My formal clothes are in some container crossing the ocean right now. I don’t have anything to wear.”

Kate gives Yelena a thorough once-over. Her eyes study Yelena with such assiduous detail that it eventually makes Yelena squirm.

“I should have options for you.”

“Kate…you’re so much taller than me.”

“Lucky for you, I like short things.” The women internally wince when they realize those words come across much flirtier than they initially intended to. “They’ll look right on you.”

Kate glosses right past it and Yelena is thankful for it. 

“I…uhm…don’t typically…” Yelena searches for the right words. “I don’t think our styles overlap very much.”

“Oh, come on. You can pull off a dress. It’s one night.”

“I can wear them. I know how to. I simply prefer not to.”

“I think it’s not a matter of preferences tonight, is it?” Kate saunters into her bedroom. “Let’s see what we can find.”

Shortly afterward, when Yelena hasn't walked in behind her, Kate steps back into the living room.

"Are you like a vampire? Do I have to outright invite you into rooms before you walk inside?"

"I figured you needed to put clothes on..."

"If you prefer I put clothes on now, I can. I think it'd be more efficient if we find you something to wear and then you can go shower."

"Sure. If you're fine, I'm good. I'm good."

"You can come in." Kate makes a point of saying.

"For the record, if there wasn't a child in the immediate vicinity, I'd be flipping you off."

Kate chuckles.

"Good to know."

---

The pair make their way into Kate's sweeping walk-in closet. Ereka darts in after them.

"Oh..."

"Yeah, I have a bit of a problem." Kate turns to Ereka. "No. No no. Out. You're only going to get in the way and we're in a rush. Go read something. Out."

"A bit?"

Kate closes the closet door, leaving a pouting Ereka standing behind it.

"Stop. What's your cup size?" Yelena gapes at her. "Why are you looking at me like I'm some creep catcalling you from a corner? We're standing in my closet, trying to find you something to wear. This is 'need to know' info."

"B." Kate’s eyebrows shoot up, incredulous. Yelena rolls her eyes. "They can be! Depending on the bra. Shut up...You need me to go to this thing, remember?"

"I said nothing."

Kate scans the dozens upon dozens of pieces in her wardrobe.

"How tall?"

"Five foot five." Kate pivots to look at her with a cocked eyebrow. "What are you? A lie detector machine?"

"What are you? A man? I have eyes! Tell me for real!"

"Five foot three."

"We're getting somewhere. Shoe size?"

"Six."

"Okay. Can't help you there. I'm a ten. We'll figure it out."

"What were you thinking in terms of look?"

"What do you mean?"

"Make-up?"

"Zero?"

"What I heard was 'bit of a soft smokey eye in metal and a bold red lip'. Got it. Genius. I was thinking the exact same thing."

"Kate......"

"Shhh...I'm working here."

Kate begins pulling items from the racks and setting them down on the center island while Yelena watches on, increasingly horrified.

"No...No...Absolutely not...No...Never...Kate, no."

Kate lifts a gold sequin-covered gown with a plunging v-neckline and a risque thigh-high slit. She holds it up next to Yelena for a beat, then nods.

"This one."

"No! Look at the cleavage on that thing."

"It'll look great on you."

"I said no."

"I said yes...we need a tiebreaker." Kate declares as she heads for the closet door.

"No, we don't? That's not how this works?"

"Ri, I need you! Fast!"

Ereka speeds over and into the closet.

"What, mommy?"

Kate holds the dress up under Yelena’s neck to give Ereka the most accurate visual possible.

"What do you think?"

"OOOOOOOOOOOH, SO PRETTY AND SHINY! YOU LOOK LIKE A PRINCESS!"

"Is that a 'yes' to the dress from you?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"Two to one. Democracy in action." Kate tells Yelena nonchalantly while hanging the dress on a hook next to the full-body mirror. "You need to go shower right now. Don't put anything on your face and come back. I'll do your make-up."

"NO! No dress, no make-up."

"OOOOH, MAKE-UP PARTY! YES YES! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A MAKE-UP PARTY!" Ereka scuttles between the two excitedly.

"You already agreed to come."

"Maybe I'll change my mind."

"You can't do that!" Ereka tells the older blonde firmly. "You made a promise and breaking promises is bad."

"What she said." Kate backs her daughter up. Yelena stares at the women and then stomps off in a huff. "Be back here in no more than forty-five! Hair done! It'll look better up with that dress!"

Kate hears her door slam.

"I don't think she likes the dress too much, mommy."

"I don't know...I don't know.”

“She's very grumpy too."

"VERY GRUMPY, baby.”

“But I like her, mommy. Grumpy and all."

"Yeah. We like her. Grumpy and all...Are you gonna help me pick a dress too?!"

"YESSSSSSS!"

Kate commences selecting pieces from the racks for herself this time and Ereka offers detailed feedback on each along the way.

---

An hour and a half later, Kate and Ereka sit on Kate's bed, facing the closet with anticipation. Kate is dressed in a figure-hugging black gown and her hair is down, styled to look like an effortlessly slicked-back center part. Shimmery eyes and a bright red lip round out the outfit. 

"Coming out at some point before next year would be great. We have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to call the car."

"Kate, I hate this." Yelena gripes from inside the closet.

"I'm sure you look fine." Yelena doesn’t answer and there’s no sound of movement inside the closet. "Any day now. We should..."

Yelena testily swings the door open and Kate's words get caught in her throat there and then.

"WOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!! SO PRETTY!" Ereka exclaims as she hops off the bed and runs around Yelena to look at her from all angles. "YOU LOOK LIKE A REAL-LIFE SUPER PRINCESS!"

"Kate, I look ridiculous."

Kate shakes her head.

"No."

"I do."

"You look beautiful." Kate half mutters, marveling at the sight in front of her.

Yelena would love to prevent the rush of blood she feels forcing its way up to her face, but unfortunately for her, she's yet to learn how to master her body’s involuntary reactions. Her only alternative is to deflect. 

"Don't we have to leave?"

Yelena does her best to redirect, forcing Kate to snap out of her mild trance.

"Yeah...yeah. I'll call the car."

"Are you and mommy going to dance tonight?"

"I don't dance."

"Mommy likes to dance."

"Good for her."

"Mommy, you should ask Yelena to dance."

"Car will be here in two." Kate squats down to chat with her daughter at eye level. "I think we gotta take it easy on her. Dancing might be one step too far today." Kate smiles and steals a glance at Yelena before kissing Ereka's forehead. "I want you in bed right when Miss Mary tells you to. Not a minute after. I want to get zero complaints when I get back, okay?"

"What if I'm not tired? Can I wait for you if I'm not?"

"You better start tiring yourself out now then, because you're going to bed and your butt better be in bed when I get home."

"So unfair."

"UGH! Worst mom ever. How dare she not let you stay up until all hours?” Kate smiles at her daughter, who rolls her eyes. “I have to go. Be good, please. I love you."

Kate forces an over-the-top smooch onto Ereka’s cheek. The little girl “yucks” and wipes her skin with her open palm.

"I love you too. Even when you lick me and try to control me."

Kate chuckles.

"Licking and controlling are the two most important tasks parents have, Ri." Kate looks at her phone then turns to Yelena. "One minute. We should start heading down."

Yelena nods.

"Hey," Ereka whispers and beckons Yelena down to her height with her index finger. She brings her tiny hand to cup Yelena's ear in an attempt to speak to her in secret. "I'll save you two cookies. An extra one because you look really, really pretty."

Yelena can't help but smile.

"No need."

"I will. I'll give them to you tomorrow."

"What are you two whispering about?"

"Mommies don't need to know everything friends talk about."

"Kid has a point. I’m invoking our attorney-client privilege." Yelena backs her up.

"You two are trouble. Car's here. Your plotting will have to wait for another time."

Ereka wraps her arms around Yelena's neck, giving her a warm hug. Yelena reciprocates.

"Have fun. Don't forget my mommy likes to dance."

"Good night, kid."

Kate rushes into the room and yanks Yelena by the hand.

"So slow!"

"I was coming!"

"Not fast enough. Night, Mary. We'll be home by one."

"Ten." Yelena refutes.

"One," Kate confirms as she yanks Yelena out the door.

Ereka chases them to the door.

"I love you the most!" Ereka screams at her mother as the elevator door closes.

"I love you the mostest!" Kate yells back.

(NOTE: For reference, Kate is wearing that black dress/overall look from the “Capital Letters” music video. And Yelena’s look is the 2020 Vanity Fair After Party look. Pics below.)

---

The gala is in full swing. Kate is deep in conversation with the person sitting next to her. On the other hand, Yelena has yet to speak to anyone except for uttering a handful of words to Kate and speaking her order to the bartender. She savors her drink and surveys the event space, making mental judgments of all the guests.

"Socializing is a vital part of the human experience, you know?"

Kate tells her in a hushed tone with a soft smile.

"I told you I didn't do parties."

"Well, you're at one, so...can't you just enjoy it?"

"No."

Kate laughs.

"You're a hard nut to crack."

"Have you considered that maybe I don't want cracking?"

"I think you certainly tell yourself that."

Yelena glares icily at her, pushes her chair back, then stands.

"I'm getting another drink."

---

Yelena sulks at the bar while waiting for the bartender to approach her.

"I'm not trying to annoy you."

Yelena looks over her shoulder to find Kate standing behind her.

"Could've fooled me."

"Is the only way to get you to be nice to call you out when you're being a dick then feed you mac and cheese? Because one: you're being a dick. And two: I will talk to a waiter and see if we can score you some if I need to...I had a good time the other night. I know you're capable of smiling and laughing. I've seen it with my own eyes."

"Kate, what do you want from me?"

"Right now? For you to relax."

"I am relaxed."

Yelena grits through her teeth and scowls, then turns back to the bar, desperately trying to get the bartender's attention. Kate chuckles.

"Oh yeah, chillest person in this room." Kate steps forward, stands next to Yelena at the counter, brings her index finger to the older woman’s chin and pulls it, turning Yelena's head and making their eyes meet. "Give me an hour to prove you could be having fun. Say 'yes' to everything I say for an hour."

"No."

"Failing the exercise already."

"I'm not doing that."

"Are you allergic to fun? What did you and your sister do together? I'm sure you guys had fun."

"Keep my sister out of this. I'm plenty fun."

"Life of the party...An hour." Kate extends her hand, waiting for Yelena to shake it. "Are you this much of a baby that you won't leave your comfort zone for an hour?" 

Yelena lours at Kate. She is certain Kate is purposefully trying to push her buttons now...yet, for some reason, she acquiesces.

"An hour. Within reason. Nothing illegal or too crazy."

"What if we have different definitions of illegal?" Kate fires back with a smirk.

"There's only one definition. Take it or leave it."

Kate extends her hand again for Yelena to shake. Yelena looks at the hand, then at Kate and after a beat, she takes firm hold of it and shakes it. When they do, Kate hits the lock screen on her phone to look at the time.

"You're mine to do as I please until 8:52 PM."

They tense up when they realize the potential for misconstruing the statement as innuendo...but before they can dwell, the bartender approaches.

"What can I get you, ladies?"

"Four shots of tequila, please." Kate rushes to say before Yelena can speak. As Yelena is about to start protesting, Kate lifts her finger and stops her in her tracks. "Ahhhh…can't say no. We just made a deal."

Yelena grunts.

"That's not illegal, but it's certainly irresponsible."

"Live a little."

Moments later, the bartender returns with the shots as well as limes and salt on a tea plate and places them across from the two women.

"Bottoms up, council." Kate urges Yelena as she downs her first shot. Yelena gawks at her. "Come on! You're on my clock here. Move it." Defiant, Yelena slams back the first shot and immediately takes the second. She grimaces. "That's more like it!" Kate kills her remaining shot, interlocks her arm with Yelena's and drags her away from the bar. "We'll be back for more in a second."

"Where are we going now?" Kate's face lights up with a devilish smile as she heads for the dance floor. "No. Nu-uh. Kate..."

"Those words are out of your vocabulary for the time being."

"Kate, I don't dance."

"You do tonight."

Kate forces her way past the crowd and drags Yelena to the center of the dance floor. Once there, Kate begins swaying to the music the DJ plays. Yelena stands stiffly. When Yelena doesn't move, Kate brings her hands to Yelena's hips, trying to coax them into rocking along to the beat. Their eyes meet. There are no reasons this should be as intimate when there are hundreds of people around, but it undeniably is. 

"Come on...I know you're not as much of a robot as you try to make it seem. Feel it."

The last two words slip out barely above a murmur. Kate's hands remain on Yelena's hips while she takes a step closer, making the distance between them damn near nonexistent. Something about Kate being this far into her space fogs up Yelena's mind and before she knows it, her hips follow Kate's lead.

"See? Not too bad." Kate encourages her.

The music transitions to an even more uptempo song and Kate ensures they match the beat to this as well. For a moment - more like three consecutive songs - it's only them in this room. Kate's hands on Yelena's hips, their eyes on each other, breaths on their skin, and bodies in sync. They could've stayed that way all night had they not been interrupted.

"Kate! I thought that was you!"

Kate and Yelena are snapped out of their trance by another woman on the dance floor. The intruder has a handful of friends with her and what was a private, lust-filled bubble for two becomes a wide circle of yappy, gyrating, drunk women. Kate senses Yelena tense up beside her and, without thought, she brings her hand to hold Yelena's. Their fingers intertwine while Kate has small talk with the woman who approaches her.

"The infamous Kate Bishop in the flesh. What are you up to?! Where have you been hiding?"

"It's been a crazy, busy year. I made VP and my accounts have pretty much tripled. I’m drowning half the time."

"Oh my god, congrats! I didn't hear about that."

"Yeah. Thank you! It wasn't too long ago. Happened at the top of the summer and..." Kate feels Yelena pull on her hand, trying to get away. Kate holds on tighter and runs her thumb over Yelena’s skin, soothing. "...I haven't exactly had time to celebrate. It was so nice to catch up, but we were on our way to the bar. Let's get drinks on the books. Have your assistant call mine."

"Of course, yeah! Have fun tonight."

Kate turns and pulls Yelena behind her towards the bar, hands still locked together.

"Sorry. I didn't..."

"It's fine." Yelena hurries to divert. "You probably know everyone here."

"I wouldn't say everyone...99%?" Kate looks over at the shorter woman and grins. "More tequila?"

"That's a terrible idea, Kate."

"Which is exactly why we should do it."

They land at the bar and Kate orders four more shots.

"Four is unreasonable."

"I think you can handle it." Kate hasn't let go of Yelena's hand and continues to run lazy circles over her skin with her thumb. Kate turns to face the crowd. "Who do you think is the hottest guy here? Who'd you get wasted and take home tonight for a crazy, sloppy one-night stand?"

Yelena chuckles.

"Are your observation and deduction skills that poor?"

"What do you mean? Ohhhh...you want me to guess who you think is hot?"

Yelena laughs harder.

"We'd be here all night."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think any of these men are hot, Kate."

"A picky girl! I like it. Okay. What's your type then? There HAS to be someone in here that comes at least close."

"My type is ‘not men’."

"What...oh...OH..." Kate takes a step back, studying Yelena. After a beat, she nods. "No, yeah. That makes sense. It's all clicking now."

Yelena hangs her head back, laughing.

"Glad we got that sorted."

"But like...never? Not even once?"

Yelena shakes her head.

"Have never seen a penis in real life."

"God, I'm actually a little jealous. They're...kinda just...there...flapping around...being an inconvenience."

"Yup. Every word is making me gayer."

Kate surveys Yelena's face and notices her eyes becoming glassy due to the alcohol.

"We need to get some food and water in you. Let's go back to the table. They're serving dinner soon anyway."

Kate pulls Yelena's hand and guides them back to their seats.

"That might be the only good idea you've had tonight."

---

Kate and Yelena talk and stuff themselves full of bread while waiting for their full-course dinner to be served. A waiter drops by to offer the table drinks immediately before dinner is catered and, never knowing when to say no, Kate orders them a round. Yelena is thankful it’s at least a pair of cocktails, not shots.

They continue conversing about nothing and everything throughout their meal. Kate brazenly ignores her coworkers the entire time.

Once dessert makes its way to the diners, the DJ shifts from the mellow playlist guests could have a conversation over back to danceable jams. Before long, Kate is squealing and declaring something "her song" and forcing Yelena back onto the dance floor.

On this occasion, with alcohol and hormones coursing even more freely through their veins, Yelena doesn't resist when Kate eventually presses her back to Yelena's front and starts grinding against her. Yelena's hands find a home on Kate's hips and they move together. As one. They do this for another song before Kate turns to face Yelena. Kate places her elbows on Yelena's shoulders and wraps her arms behind her neck. Yelena's hands move from Kate's hips to the small of her back, right on the curve of her derriere. They're pressing themselves against boundaries at full tilt.

Kate brings her lips to Yelena's ear and her lips graze against the skin of Yelena’s earlobe as she speaks.

"I have to pee like a fucking racehorse." Yelena bursts out laughing. "I'll be right back." Before she pulls away, Kate's lips travel a few inches below Yelena’s ear and press a soft kiss on the woman’s cheek. "Thank you for coming tonight."

Yelena offers a firm nod and Kate disappears into the crowd.

With Kate gone, the illusion breaks and the reality of tonight...of the last couple of hours (because this has gone well and beyond the "one hour" deal by now)...smashes into the forefront of Yelena’s mind like a stray cannonball. Whereas it felt as if it were only the two of them in a room before, now it's back to Yelena being alone in a sea of strangers she has no interest in becoming familiar with. The dance floor becomes speedily suffocating and, before she knows it, Yelena is rushing to the table to snatch the bag with her phone and keys in it and flees.

---

The line to the women’s bathroom stretches down a hallway and wraps around a corner. Kate’s leg bounces impatiently whilst she waits near the end of the queue. Kate brings her manicured thumb to her mouth and begins to chew on it. Now that they’re apart, the veil of the alcohol-induced, nirvana-like state she’s been immersed in has lifted and all Kate is left with is the feeling of an anvil weighing her stomach down. 

What the hell? That is the one query that continually loops in Kate’s mind. Kate racks her brain, striving to figure out when and how her truculent temporary neighbor got under her skin like this. Did it start tonight? Have these feelings been simmering and only boiled over in the last few hours? Kate has an endless stream of questions - questions that can mostly be summarized as “Fuck fuck fuck what the fuck?” - but none that she thinks she’ll have an answer to by the time she gets to a stall. Particularly not when her brain keeps wandering to those moments on the dance floor when her body was pressed against Yelena’s and the woman’s hands were all over her. Those mental images are distracting and certainly not conducive to critical thinking during a seemingly impromptu life crisis. 

For now, all Kate can do is stew in her feelings and hope the rest of the night will further assist in her quest to find explanations. That, and bite her nails to keep her mind off how urgently she needs to empty her bladder.

---

It takes Kate longer to return than she would've liked; therefore, she doesn’t consider it exceedingly strange when she can’t spot Yelena on the dance floor. The blonde must have returned to the table and is waiting for her there. Kate arrives at her company’s table, but Yelena isn't anywhere to be found there either. That’s when Kate notices Yelena's bag is also missing. Kate digs through her purse, collects her phone, and texts her.

Nothing.

---

Half an hour later.

Kate stares at her phone, glaring at the message that has ostensibly merited no response from Yelena. More than worried, Kate feels herself growing angry. She has a fairly solid inkling of what happened and by no means is she allowing their night to end on this wretched note. Kate snaps her handbag up and storms to the entrance while calling a car.

---

The longer the car took to make its way to her building, the more livid Kate felt herself growing. Thus, it is no surprise to her when she finds herself hammering her fists against Yelena's door. To Kate’s satisfaction, she doesn’t have to stand there for long before Yelena stares back at her. 

"People are sleeping, Kate."

It’s clear the older woman has been home for some time, seeing as her face is washed, her hair is braided, and she’s now clad in sweats and a t-shirt. 

Kate barges into the apartment, explosively hurling her bag on the couch the moment she’s inside. 

"Where the hell did you go?"

Yelena points around her, as if stating, ‘here?...where you found me?’.

"You make it a habit of vanishing and abandoning all your dates at parties?"

"That wasn't a date, Kate. That was a kidnapping."

Kate paces in furious silence.

"Maybe not at first."

"Maybe not at first what?"

"A date...maybe it wasn't a date at first."

"Don't," Yelena replies angrily.

"Don't what?"

"Don't do that...the whole ambiguous-and-maybe-even-curious-but-really-straight girl game. It's sad."

"You're such a fucking prick. We had a great night, you got scared, bailed, and now you're trying to shit all over me so I leave. You're not super enigmatic and frigid. What you are is a really predictable coward and THAT is what’s a little sad. A lot sad."

"Get out. Get the fuck out."

Yelena pushes past Kate on her way to open the door and kicks Kate out, but Kate grabs her arm, pulls Yelena towards her, and into a torrid kiss. Kate ends the kiss yet doesn’t pull away. She holds Yelena’s face, keeping her in place, and presses their foreheads together.

"I should have more self-respect than to do the whole 'crush on and chase the one who’s mean to me’ thing, but...here I am." Kate chuckles and presses another soft kiss to Yelena’s lips. "There's more to the grump. I know it. I've seen it."

"Kate, get out. I'm not going to be the person you experiment with. Been there, done that, didn't end well for me."

Kate takes a step back, aggravated.

"Yeah, you're right. I've never been with a woman. I'd have a lot to learn. Learning doesn't mean I'd be "experimenting", at least not in the negative way you're trying to imply."

Yelena takes advantage of the fact that Kate has put distance between them and marches to the door, swinging it open while pointing outside.

"Go home to your kid."

"Is it this hard to admit that someone might actually give a fuck? Ignore me for a second. She adores you. You know that, right? Talks about you all day long. Is constantly looking for excuses to come and see you. I have to stop her all the time, or she would've moved in here by now. People care about you. She cares. I care. You make it hard but not impossible."

"I'm leaving. In November. I'm leaving."

"That's November. This is now."

"Nope. No. I don't work that way. I like plans and order and control."

"Life is messier than that."

"Kate..."

Kate closes the distance between them, slides Yelena’s hand off the doorknob, and pushes the door closed.

"Ignore November. Ignore anything outside that door. Right now, what do you want?"

"What I want right now will lead to chaos in the morning."

"Are you clairvoyant?"

"I'm smart."

"But not psychic. What if what you want right now simply leads to morning sex instead of chaos?"

"Because that's not how life works...not mine anyway."

Kate presses her body against Yelena's. Yelena initially tries to recoil, but, much like she did on the dance floor, Kate holds the sides of Yelena's shirt, by her hips, and settles her.

"What do you want right now?" Yelena doesn't respond. Kate leans her face closer, making her lips hover above Yelena's. "What do you want?"

"To fuck you."

Kate nods, smirks, and a soft ‘hmmm’ escapes her mouth.

"I want you to do that too."

Kate ghosts her lips over Yelena's.

"You're drunk, Kate."

"I'm really not. Buzzed at best. But turned on?...Definitely. And I want you to do something about it." Yelena doesn’t move or speak. "You really gonna make me beg?"

Yelena’s eyes shoot up to meet Kate’s. Kate grins when she sees the desire burning in them. 

"Maybe," Yelena states with an undertone of cockiness Kate hasn’t seen all night. 

"Please," Kate adds with zero hesitation.

"What if you wake up and regret it tomorrow?"

"I thought we were ignoring anything except right now."

"Humor me."

"I don't think you'll give me any reason to...but even if you do...what's the worst that can happen? You leave in November, remember? If it goes TERRIBLY WRONG tonight, then worst-case scenario is we have to awkwardly cross each other for a few more months in the hallway and then, that's it. Never see each other ever again...No downsides."

Yelena’s forest eyes study the azure in Kate’s, attempting to spot any hint of vacillation in them.

"What about Ereka? You said she's always looking..."

"You're overthinking it...and trying to find excuses that don't exist. Right now. You. Take what you want. It's already yours."

After a brief delay, Yelena joins her lips with Kate's in a searing kiss. Within seconds they're stumbling back to the bedroom while clothes are flying off.

---

Kate’s arm swats around the mattress, searching for the body that should be there but come across nothing. Her eyes flutter open and Kate lets the dismaying fact that she woke up to an empty bed sink in. She buries her face in the pillow, trying to shield the blinding sun rays from her eyes, and sighs. Then it hits her...the sun is out. She isn't home and the sun is out. OH FUCK.

Kate gets dressed in a hurry and sprints over to her apartment.

"I'm sorry...I'm so..."

Instead of finding a disgruntled babysitter, what Kate comes across when she bursts in is Yelena and a cheerful Ereka making pancakes in the kitchen.

"What's going on?"

The sound of Kate’s voice makes Yelena look over her shoulder for a brief moment before turning her attention back to the pan.

"You slept in." Yelena casually responds.

"You left me. Alone." Kate admonishes her.

"I woke up after we...it was a little past one, so I ran over and relieved Mary. I figured you'd be up soon enough and crashed on the couch until you came. About an hour ago, I opened my eyes and her face was two inches from mine. I checked in. You were still asleep. Figured I'd let you sleep. She got hungry and I couldn't let her starve on my watch, so we're making food."

"We're making strawberry pancakes for you, mommy."

Kate softens up.

"I'm...I'm gonna brush my teeth and wash my face."

"Okay." Yelena turns to look at what Ereka is doing. "No! NO! Too many. That's waaay too many."

Yelena starts fishing out strawberries from the batter, now cooking on the hot pan.

"Yelena, can you come here, please?" Kate calls from her room.

"In the middle of something."

"I need you for a second."

Yelena turns off the burner and looks at Ereka seriously.

"DO NOT TOUCH IT. It's hot. You'll hurt yourself. You can't touch anything until I get back."

Yelena insists while heading towards Kate’s bedroom.

"I’m big! I can make pancakes on my own!"

"NO TOUCHING! I’ll be right back."

Ereka pouts and crosses her arms over her chest.

"FINE!"

---

Yelena enters Kate's room and finds the brunette waiting for her by the door. The moment Yelena steps in, Kate holds her face and kisses her.

"One: you should've woken me up." Kate kisses her again. "Two: Thank you for staying with her. It was...amazing. That has never happened before. I swear. I've never not come home when I say I will. I think your bed was so comfortable and it smelled like you and..."

Yelena kisses her to quiet her.

"You're a great mother, Kate Bishop. You deserved a late morning. It's fine. All I did was cross the hallway, freeze on your couch for a night, and make pancake batter this morning."

Kate laughs and pecks Yelena’s lips.

"There's blankets in the hallway closet."

"I didn't know that. How would I know that?"

"I could've told you if you would've woken me up." Kate kisses her again. "Thank you."

Yelena closes her eyes and inhales sharply.

"What are we doing?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm about to go try some of these pancakes."

"You know what I mean, Kate...I'm leaving."

"You're here now."

"Doesn't change what happens come November."

"We can worry about November later. Right now, I'm hungry and want pancakes. Do you have plans today?" Yelena shakes her head. "She's supposed to be with me this weekend, but one of her dad’s cousins is getting married. He’s picking her up at eleven and she's staying the night. I need to get her ready, pack her bag, and get her out the door. Then we have the place to ourselves until tomorrow at ten. I do believe I promised you some morning sex, so as long as he's on time and you have me naked in bed before noon, it'll technically count."

Yelena shakes her head while a smile creeps up on her.

"You're something else."

Kate kisses her.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Remains to be seen."

Yelena kisses her this time.

"CAN WE FINISH BREAKFAST, PLEASE?! I'M GOING TO DIE OF HUNGRY!"

A little voice pleads from the kitchen. Kate and Yelena are forced to separate and snicker.

"Yup! Coming! Helping your mom with a thing, but I'll be right there."

"You'll definitely be helping a lot more once she's gone for the day."

Kate smirks at Yelena before stealing one last kiss and heading to the door, dragging the older woman behind her.

"Alright, where are these pancakes I was promised?"

“HERE! We’re making them, mommy.”

---

Kate’s legs are draped over Yelena’s thighs, their interlocked fingers casually fiddling while they speak in hushed voices. Yelena leans in, intent on stealing a sneaky kiss when there’s a knock on the door. 

“Ri, your dad’s here!” Kate rudely screams millimeters away from Yelena’s mouth. Yelena flinches at the volume. 

“DADDY!” Ereka shrieks from her bedroom, followed by the rustling of last-minute stuffing of things into a backpack.

When she realizes what she did, Kate offers a bashful smile and plants a series of soft, rapid kisses on Yelena’s lips. 

“Sorry.” Kate mouths before stealing another kiss.

“Should I go to your room or something?” Yelena asks as Kate untangles herself from her. 

“No. No. I’ll make sure he’s in and out. It’s fine.”

There’s another, more impatient knock on the door. 

“I’m coming!”

Kate speeds up the pace and swings the door open to find Tom holding a bouquet of deep purple tulips on the other side. 

“Was walking by that little florist on 84th and 2nd and saw these. They reminded me of you, KitKat.”

“Thank you. They’re beautiful.”

Kate expresses genuinely before smelling the flowers. Tom smiles, proud of himself, and places a lingering kiss on Kate’s cheek before stepping inside. 

“I was thinking…maybe you can come to the wedding. With us…me and…” Tom’s train of thought gets derailed when he notices the stranger lackadaisically lounging on the couch in what seems like sleepwear. “Hey.”

“That’s Yelena.”

“DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!” 

Ereka rushes Tom, who swings her into the air and smothers her face with kisses.

“Hi, lovebug! You look gorgeous today. Mommy did a good job with those braids on your hair!”

“Mommy didn’t do them! Yelena did!”

With the little girl now attached to his hip, Tom takes a step toward the couch; his hand extended in a polite greeting mode.

“I guess you’re the neighbor.”

Yelena stands and shakes his hand.

“I’m the neighbor.”

“She doesn’t shut up about you.”

“She’s a great kid.”

“She is. Perfect kid. We made a perfect kid. I keep telling KitKat we should make more.” Tom laughs. “Isn’t that right, baby? I always tell you how we should give her that little sister she wants.” Kate forces an awkward smile. Tom turns to face Kate and holds her hand in his. “So, about you coming today. How do you feel about that? I talked to my aunt because of the RSVP and headcount thing. They said it’s perfectly fine. They’d love to have you there. They haven’t seen you in a bit.”

Tom runs his thumb over Kate’s cheek. Kate takes a step back, putting distance between them.

“I’m busy today. I think it’ll be great for you guys to have one-on-one time.”

“We have one-on-one time all the time, KitKat. You know what she hasn’t had in a while? Family time. The three of us. Together. Wouldn’t you want that, princess? The family at a family event.”

“YESSSS! You should come, mommy.”

“Tom…”

“I’m gonna go. You guys can figure that out.”

Yelena mumbles stiffly as she starts to head for the door. 

“See you, neighbor lady.”

Kate steps in Yelena’s way, using her body to block her path, and almost imperceptibly shakes her head while painting a massive fake smile on her face and addressing Tom. 

“Her dress and shoes are in the bag. She can probably keep the braids for the wedding if you don’t rile her up too much. They’ll look cute in pictures. If they get messed up, let them loose and brush her hair out. It should be fine. If you’re not sure if the braids still look good or not, don’t let her run around looking crazy. Ask your mom or your sister. They’ll tell you. I put a headband in there in case she needs to have it down.”

Tom zoned out after the first few words. As his ex talks, his eyes dart back and forth between Kate and Yelena. Their shoulders are pressed together and their hands are nearly overlapping.

“Hmmmmm…okay. So that’s a ‘no’ on coming with your husband and your daughter to the family wedding? Even though she clearly wants you to come.”

“It’s a no. I’m busy.” Tom scoffs. Kate takes a step forward and plants a kiss on the little girl’s forehead. “You and daddy have the most fun, okay? You’re staying with him and grandma tonight, but I’ll see you in the morning. I love you.”

“Why are you not coming, mommy?” Ereka pouts.

“Yeah, KitKat. Why are you not coming?” Tom asks, accusatory and eyeing Yelena surreptitiously.

Kate glares at Tom. 

“Because that was never the plan.”

“Our daughter wants you to come.”

“That wasn’t a thing she wanted until you brought it up. She’ll live. Alright. Isn’t the wedding in Connecticut? That’s a drive. You guys should get going because I don’t want you rushing on the interstate. Please let your mom or someone else drive tonight if you drink at the wedding.”

“Right.”

“I mean it, Thomas. I don’t want her in the car with you if you're drinking. I’ll pick her up if I need to. Just call me if it gets to that. I’ll come.”

“You could come with us now.”

Kate kisses the girl again, then bends over to grab the backpack she had discarded as she ran out and places it in Tom’s hand. 

“Everything she needs is in here.”

“Except for her mom being there with her and daddy.”

“BYE! Have fun!” Kate smiles and nudges him in the direction of the door. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, mommy!”

“See you tomorrow!”

Kate closes the door on Tom, leaving him staring at Yelena from the door. 

“That was…interesting.” Yelena ponders for as long as it takes Kate to close the distance between them. “Did he call himself your husband...?”

“He does that sometimes.”

“But he’s…”

“Not. Definitely not. We got divorced when Ri was two. He’s still getting used to it.”

“That was…three years ago?”

“And we were together for almost seven. It’s taking him a bit.”

“That sounds messy.”

“I’m not with him. I have no interest in being with him.”

“Does he know that? Because he brought you flowers, wanted you to be his date to a wedding, and calls himself ‘your husband’.”

“Can we not talk about him? Please?” Kate steps even closer and intertwines their fingers. “Still very much into the idea of morning sex WITH YOU and noon is creeping up. We should get on that…” 

Kate’s lips fly to Yelena’s neck and start peppering kisses on the exposed skin.

“You have convincing ways, Kate Bishop.”

“I like to think so.” Kate kisses her way up to Yelena’s mouth. “Are you gonna keep spiraling about my ex, or are you gonna fuck me? One sounds A LOT more fun than the other.” Yelena studies her face. A mischievous grin appears on Kate’s face. “You like it when I beg you for it, don’t you?”

“You look good begging.” Yelena smirks confidently.

“Please,” Kate whispers against Yelena’s lips. “Please…I’m dying to be under you again…Please.”

Yelena smashes their lips together and taps the back of Kate’s thighs. Kate takes the hint and wraps her legs around Yelena’s waist and arms around her neck. Yelena brings her hands to Kate’s ass to hold her up while she starts guiding them toward the bedroom. As they’re getting to the door, Kate leans back.

“Stop. Hold on. Hold on.” Yelena quietly panics and puts Kate down. “Wait here.”

“What?”

Kate hastily pecks Yelena’s lips before vanishing into her room.

“Wait there.”

“Kate, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. If you changed your mind…”

“Shut up and wait before you freak out, will you?”

Moments later, Kate reappears on the threshold, clad in the skimpiest lingerie. She wears a black triangle bra with leavers lace and a matching lace thong. The outfit (or lack thereof) is capped with an untied purple silk robe lazily draped down the sides of her body. Yelena purses her lips and dramatically exhales. 

“You like?” Yelena nods and hums. “Then will you please come and fuck me before I ruin this underwear any more than I currently am? They’re La Perla. They’re expensive.” 

Kate offers a rascally smile before disappearing into the room anew. 

Yelena lingers at the threshold for a moment and softly bangs her forehead against the wall. There's no way this isn't going to be a disaster come November.

She was right.

[bossbutch]

umineko chapter 4 (2/2)

the fantasy action sequences have gotten significantly more tolerable because they've gotten significantly funnier. also i've gotten ahead of bryn's more detailed readalong!

the scene where Krauss is fighting a goat man and virgilia is comparing their Numerical Power Levels but there's all these arbitrary multipliers ( and goat's power level goes way down when he talks about his family and being a week away from retirement etc etc) is mwah chef's kiss

the Reveal of kasumi reading the definition of uu-uu in the grimoire is my favorite moment so far. god damn. eva-beatrice being all star wars emperor "let the hate flow through you" was also pretty funny.

so battler isn't asumu's son! and he learns this through his own red truth? which i think removes "perspective" from the red truth, right? because from his point of view he's her son, just like from beato's point of view shannon is nonhuman. whether he's kyrie's kid or there's a *third* wife i'm not sure. it'd be fucked up if it's a/nother beato.

so we end with a big blue vs red sequence where battler says what he thinks has happened, which lambda says is mostly wrong but is a good "check your theories" speed bump.

game 1: • stake deaths being shot and then staked after death seems guaranteed • yeah, no magic for The First Set of Murders • Eva and hideyoshi: killed by kanon, door locked through Device X. when 'he' "discovered" the bodies he had ample time to draw the circle • kanon faked 'his' death, so beato can't say in red it was homicide. then he killed the last 3 and natsuhi. beato says "i guarantee the identity of all unidentified corpses" but if he Wasn't a corpse that wouldn't apply. game 2: • "from the time maria received the key to when rosa unsealed it the next day it passed through no one's hands" = rosa took the key before we saw her taking it? though idk if she actually Killed the first six she was definitely involved • if kanon is A Beatrice then 'him' fighting her goons over jessica can metaphorically be kanon having trouble deciding whether to kill her or not. occam's razor says if there's no body and A Violent Kanon shows up later then fake kanon was real kanon game 3: • the only mystery i think Matters is who killed nanjo. he recognized the killer and begged for his life, maybe he knew what their plan was? but i don't know who did it. beato seems to imply that the killer took the identity of a dead person (other than kinzo, kanon, jessica, battler, or eva). • i guess "how did george leave the guest house" is worth solving but i haven't thought about it much game 4: • "all those present at the family conference acknowledge the presence of kinzo" yeah it's his house. his body is there. he's still metaphorically present and genji and shannon? and associates are carrying out his wishes if shannon and kanon aren't "real humans" it provides space for two Persons X but is also means the cousins can fall in love and make and break promises to objects/ideals/whatever. battler's direct narrative describes kanon as "a slender boy" who can manipulate a wheelbarrow so if kanon isn't present as a person (and not part of an existing member of the 18 or nothing) i'm calling bullshit battler's sin that beato wants an apology for was breaking his promise to come back for shannon. is episode 2 Suit Beato derived from shannon? every beato is derived from trauma, so her breaking the mirror is a metaphor for Some Other Traumatic Event magic metaphors: "beato prime", who was captured and abused by kanon and is almost certainly dead, had a child with him, beato 2. one of the two of them imagine magic genji (ronovo), magic kumasawa (virilia if she isn't beato 1) and gaap, for the same reason maria made sakutaro, To Cope. and the seven sisters and the bunnies are personified weapons. but what are lambda and bernie representing? they might just represent their goals ("battler denies beato/ finding the emotional truth" and "battler tries but is never successful because he lacks love" ) and either way beato doesn't get closure. i think beato will "win" but her real goal is not to kill everybody and take them to heaven but rather to get some catharsis from battler for what his family has done to her/ all the beatos. alternatively the other witches exist for no reason other than adding yuri

[pinkmarbella2050]

ETN Ramble: Detective Edition

OK, ladies and gentleman! Welcome to my ETN Ramble. This might turn into a series depending on how unhinged I set, but we're just gonna go with it for now.

Today, I'm gonna be rambling about what the hell I think happened to MatPat following the events of Season 3. And it is NOT pretty!

Before we get started, I just wanna say that this idea is partially inspired by @lazarus-harp and their analysis on the Season 3 survivors, especially Mat and Nikita, as well as their takes on the SAE. They're really cool, I love 'em a ton, go check them out!

So, without further ado, let's go!

Let's put this bluntly, first of all; he is NOT OK. Y'know that one meme that's like 'bitches be like "this is my comfort character" and then choose a character that hasn't had a day of comfort in their lives.'? Yeah, this is basically Mat. XD

I feel like, after Everlock, he was just a mess and didn't wanna get close to people in case Ro and Safiya were looking down on him and thinking that he was replacing them, so outside of his Theory work - the one thing he still felt he could trust because its logical and straightforward and nothing like the unpredictability and drama of Everlock - he avoided everyone outside of those he had to work with for Game and Film Theory.

No slander to Steph - I love her, she's amazing, she's an icon, a legend, the moment, ALL OF IT - but I have a feeling that they kinda drifted apart (they didn't get divorced since Steph was still holding out for him and they still loved each other when he first came back) because Mat didn't know what to do. Like, did he act like who he was before he died, after? Does he act like he never died? How does he process this?

Essentially, their relationship broke down because Mat is having a whole-ass identity crisis, as well as a conflict about his next steps.

A conflict that later continues once he joins the SAE for, as I'm dubbing it, Operation Pandora (AKA the code name for Season 4's rescue mission - partly because I am convinced they only did this mission to get Pandora's Box and used Joey as a scapegoat). That happens, Ro and Joey don't come back, we all know this.

Now here's where I think Mat would get REALLY bad. Nikita leaves the SAE after Operation Pandora because, not only has she lost Manny, but Bretman now doesn't like her because she nearly killed him, basically, leaving Mat with Ryu and Jael and everyone else.

Now, Mat and Nikita didn't have the best relationship, we all know this, but I feel like Mat really admired Nikita in some way. Why? Because she had something he didn't; the ability to not get attached. The strength to fight against all odds. Strength, period - which I think would be a major thing he'd look out for, especially considering the way he died. So when Nikita leaves the SAE, wanting to move on from everything, he feels like he's lost everyone from Everlock. As such, he pushes everyone away even further - even those from Game and Film Theory - and devotes himself entirely to the cause of bringing everyone from Everlock back to life.

This... is basically fucking pointless. Nobody (besides Colleen) could ever come back again. Ro's permanently dead and everyone else's souls got freed. Mat knows this, but still fights the good fight, a fight enabled by Jael (maybe not Ryu because I think he's still kinda human) due to her not seeing people as people, a teaching that runs through the SAE; don't get attached to anyone because anyone can die.

Because of all this, I have a good feeling of how Mat would handle the end of the series, assuming the series is going to end with the destruction of the Cursed God:

Obviously, the SAE would disband since the war is over, so why the hell do they have a reason to still work together? Mat would campaign for this not to happen since he knows that only their resources and tomes or whatever are the keys to bringing everyone from Everlock back, but Ryu would have to sit him down and explain that that's not how any of this works.

In the aftermath of the SAE, Mat pushes everyone away and, just as he did during the fight (even if I didn't mention this), he finds everything his group was in and religiously consumes it, to the point that its all he consumes, even when he's meant to be consuming other media for his channel.

When it comes to the idea of group therapy, I do agree with the fan theory I've seen in some spaces that the Season 3 survivors would not get along with any of the other survivors. I'll potentially get into why Nikita wouldn't be easy to get along with in a different ramble, but I have a feeling that Eva, Oli, Andrea and Tyler are willing to admit the flaws of the people in their group (i.e: Matt giving up, Justine not really defending herself, Jesse's libido, Alex's conflict between the group and Lauren, etc) and are also willing to try and move on. Mat... cannot understand this. He assumes they're trying to replace their group and, considering his own experiences with feeling like he's replacing people, he sees this as unforgivable. He also doesn't understand how they can see them as anything other than brave martyrs who died before their time (off topic, but I swear, Mat reminds me so much of Mikami from Death Note because I'm pretty sure Mat would get just as obsessed with religion and God and martyrdom and servitude or whatever as Mikami did with Light, but ANYWAY-). I just have a feeling that Mat might just kill himself. I mean, nobody understands what he went through like he does and he's been shown that there's no way of getting anyone from Everlock back, so... yeah.

He might as well as join the people who watched him die and brought him back to life in death, right?

WELL! That was crazy, but I hope that made a semblance of sense.

Thanks for reading my carnage and I'll see you next time! Bye!

Your Author, Marbella. <3

[stingslikeabee]

Calling a meeting of the major family patriarchs at Tojo Headquarters was always going to be a big deal - but today's event was even more special. It was the first grand get together hosted more for pleasure than business, due to the peace the Clan has recently, and, for many present, it was the introduction of the Sixth Chairman's new bride. A woman who had given up her civilian life to follow her love into this ferocious, far darker world. Daigo knew his wife was already a legend of sorts just because of that, but he suspected her story would grow after the success of her debut gathering.

In their home, Daigo yawned. He was content, belly full of tea and head heavy. Tomorrow, the Chairman would take the time to sort through all of the reports and questions buzzing around his brain. For tonight, however, he simply wanted to savor the memories of the impressed murmurs and hushed voices as his patriarchs saw her for the first time.

Daigo stood up and stretched. He walked away from their bed and over to Melissa, who was finishing her bedtime preparations. With a ghostly smile, he wrapped his arms around her waist and bent in to kiss her shoulder. The Chairman left her arms free for her use.

"You did beautifully," he murmured eventually, lightly resting his chin on the top of her hair. In the mirror, the yakuza practically engulfed her ; he was her fearsome giant, made of scarred pale flesh and dark features. Daigo's eyes glittered, twin pools of abyssal black warmed by her being close. "The Headquarters, the tea . . . Yayoi Dojima herself could not have done better." He sighed softly.

"I know this life is not ideal, Melissa," he continued quietly, squeezing her for a moment, "but I . . . love having you here with me." Daigo's voice wavered as all the pretty poetry he wanted to say left him. He resorted instead to pulling her back against him, unbothered by his own nudity, and simply holding her to convey his message.

unscripted asks . always accepting

There had been no sliver of doubt in Melissa's heart that she had to succeed - leaving a civilian life behind seemed like a small sacrifice to make when the benefit was having the one person that had truly seen her all these years ago. They had been young and carefree then - a hostess with a niche reputation, a brawler who made police officers groan in frustration.

But Dojima Daigo was destined for more - far greater things than winning drunk fights in underground arenas. Tokyo - or the entire Kanto region, for the matter - would be his turf to command, protect and see that it prospered after so much turmoil following the passing of the 3rd chairman of the Tojo Clan. And if Melissa wished to remain at his side, there was no other path forward but fully embracing that world - leaving Kore behind, the spring maiden, and becoming Persephone, queen of the underworld.

And just as Daigo had been shaped (or perhaps returned) to a man with impeccable manners, his girlfriend turned wife was required to follow a similar procedure. Whatever talents Melissa boasted as a hostess were helpful, but she was just the average mizushobai worker - for her new life, she needed to pour tea akin to a legendary geisha, memorize the names of each and every captain, understand the nuanced and often non-spoken rules of every environment and do everything in the most beautifully decorated kimono.

Okamura had been her steadfast helper and guide since the beginning; Sasaki later provided Melissa with intelligence on the different subsidiaries and dynamics, but the one mentor that everyone would acknowledge as the key asset for the ex-hostess transformation was none other but her mother-in-law. The fierce Dojima Yayoi, interim chairwoman of the Tojo and experienced in that world that was colored in so many delicate shades of grey for those born female.

Training had been long, extensive and hard - Yayoi was unforgiving, but Melissa could see she meant well. From the day they had spoken about Daigo and when the brunette reaffirmed that she would do anything to keep him safe (as she had done in different forms before), the matriarch nodded sternly and regarded her daughter-in-law with a look that was immensely similar to the way her son sometimes eyed her, too.

(Like mother, like son.)

So when the time for her formal introduction had come, despite having been married to Daigo for a while and with the quietest of the honeymoons (the one his job allowed for, of course), Melissa knew she had no room for failure - it was her one-shot at not only earning the respect of the other Tojo officers that didn't know her personally, but also the average officer that already thought less of women by default, let alone a foreign one.

But Yayoi's training paid off - there were no false steps in her kimono; the food was served perfectly; the headquarters were decorated as tradition mandated; even the seating arrangements demonstrated a carefully curated planning. As the evening progressed and the alcohol flowed, the clan members started to speak more openly about her and the results of the festive occasion - and with such unfiltered whispers, the ex-hostess knew she had succeeded.

The almost imperceptible but proud nod that Yayoi offered her before retiring to her home was evidence of that feat.

Once they made it to their home, Melissa felt all the tension finally leaving her body - and perhaps that was the reason taking her longer than usual to prepare for bed. The brunette had been distracted enough, replaying events from the evening in her mind and combing the long tresses (finally free of the ornate hairdo) on autopilot, not realizing she had been done until Daigo approached and kissed a shoulder.

The chairman's words of encouragement and praise had her smiling warmly at him despite the tiredness washing over mind and body. And yet, it was easy and comfortable for Melissa to lean back into his hold, placing the brush on the counter and just resting hands over his linked arms for a moment, enjoying their quiet closeness and the freedom to act like themselves again.

"Anata," there was a playful tone with the term of endearment, and Melissa chuckled softly before turning in his embrace, a movement allowed once the yakuza stopped squeezing her affectionately. The ex-hostess used her own arms then, bringing him closer by the neck and then freeing the digits of the left hand to cup his face tenderly. "We've talked about this before. An ideal life for me is the one that I get to be with you - I don't recall you storming the club, pressing a gun to my head and forcing me to accept this ridiculously expensive and beautiful ring."

The words were highlighted by the way Melissa briefly twirled the fingers, the bathroom light catching on the sizeable rocks on her hand. Standing on the tip of the toes, the yakuza fortunately read her wordless plea correctly and bent down for a kiss - a long, sweet one and that offered the first lady of the Tojo the lingering taste of tea, cigarettes and the affection Daigo nurtured for his wife.

"I will also have you know that your mother gave me a nod before she left tonight - so I guess it means Dojima Yayoi approved of everything, which is enough," the brunette smiled, pressing one more kiss to his lips, "You just wait until spring comes, Daigo. I'll throw the best hanami-themed gathering the Tojo has ever seen... I promise you, darling."

[uhohbestie]

I really love you guys art and writing!

Can I get nice advice for writing in general or for writing arguments? I’m kinda stuck on that part and I really enjoy you guys writing!

Heyy, thank you so much! 💫 ;w; We love getting messages like this, it's such a mood booster! (Lock: literally I sent this to Key last night and was like "I'M SO EXCITED TO ANSWER THIS" lmao)

We raaaaaambled, so Writing Advice is beneath the cut :3

As for writing advice, in general and specific both, I think a key component is to really get into your characters' heads. I like to think of it a bit like acting--when you write, you're not just someone keeping a record of events that have occurred, you're the actor playing every role on stage. You should know the characters you're trying to pen inside and out; what makes them happy and sad, what makes them frustrated and angry, what scares them and what they aspire to. Or, more simply put, you have to filter a character down to what makes them tick. Give them a Fear, give them a Motive, give them things that drive them to push forward, and things that hold them back. Above all, make sure that you know how those things for one character are different from another, because that's where the conflict arises.

Which brings us to arguments! It's easy to just write angry words and cussing or insults but, while those might add to an argument, substance is what's important. Even in real life, arguments happen because two people strongly Believe In Something. Whether that's some huge disconnect between morals and lifestyles or just a simple "I'm right and they're wrong." So give your characters a clear Belief about the topic they're fighting about, and then lean into your "actor" role and pull up how they feel in detail. And I'm not talking 'I feel upset' or 'I feel mad,' I mean how honest do they feel they should be while fighting? Are they passive aggressive? Are they holding back their words? Are they deliberately trying to make things worse? Are things falling out of their control and they just don't know how to stop?

Really embody the character you're writing--if you were them what would you do to hide/protect/fight for something? What are your limits? How low are you willing to go?

And then, after you've got that substance--the meat, if you will--of the argument down, everything else is just embellishment! So go crazy with descriptions! How do their voices sound? How hot do their bodies go? Are their faces flushed? Is someone angry crying? Is their heart racing? Do they feel like they're going to vomit?

Describe in and around them and really make the reader feel immersed in the scene, like if they try, they could feel all the same things your characters could.

Annnd, that's all I got 😂 I'm sure there's plenty more advice out there that's more specific than mine, but that's generally how my thought process works so there you have it hehehe

I hope you're able to find something worth implementing within it, and good luck with your writing!! 💜

(Lock here chiming in to say: editing is good! read what you wrote out loud to yourself (if possible). Find what you like to write (I love to write people talking about their feelings, especially when they get emotional!) and dig in shamelessly, even if it feels like overkill! A good piece of advice I got once was to think of writing like getting dressed to go out: put everything on, and then remove one thing. I don't know why, but that really clicked for me. ALSO, when you edit: never delete anything. Copy out the parts you're removing and save them in a different file, you never know when the scene/conversation/exchange that didn't fit that moment will suddenly find a home several pages later.

A big thing I always try to keep in mind while writing is: every character thinks they're right, even (especially) when they're 100% wrong. Not even to a villain degree-- everyone every day is thinking "I'm doing my best." (Which is what makes catastrophic mistakes or miscommunications even worse!)

Also, when writing arguments or conflict: never be afraid to let your characters sit in their feelings and be miserable for a while. A lot of things in life take a long time to work themselves out, and sometimes a character needs to go to bed angry, or go no-contact for a week, or take a five year break where they completely reinvent themselves before things are ever properly resolved.

Also good luck and have fun <3 writing is fun )

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.161 thoughts

[Enter the Dragon]

Tozuka, when I asked for “falling action” I didn’t mean the action of falling that we saw last week, I meant a moment to reflect on the events of the preceding arc. I really want an opportunity for Phil to interact with the group outside of the moments of tension, where we can see what kind of person he usually is and the life he usually leads. I’m sure we’ll get that sooner or later, I’m just a little sad that we’re jumping straight into the next arc

HOWEVER!!! This next arc is immediately shaping up to be a very exciting one!!! As you may have seen in the tag, folks are super excited to see the return of Shen, and to top it off, Mei is alive in this timeline!! I’m not entirely sure, but she seems to be older! She looks to be drawn about the same height and build as Fuuko, suggesting that she’s somewhere between 15 and 18 if I had to estimate. I guessed several reviews ago that Shen’s backstory likely happened in 2003 with him being about 13 so that he’d be 30 in 2020, but since his age was never established, he could feasibly be any age, probably pushing 40 if he’s around 18 in 1999. I guess he could have been born early this time, but I’m always hesitant to make that guess

The real significance to Mei being older here, though, is what it means for Shen’s backstory: SHEN DIDN’T DROP HER!!! Feng never pitted Shen and Mei against each other, he never pushed Mei over the cliff, and Shen never got Mei killed with Untruth! Not to say that they won’t end up in that scenario during this arc, but the two of them got to actually grow up together, and it’s all thanks to Fuuko!

Fuuko becoming the object of Feng’s obsession has led to him completely changing his interactions with Shen, though to what extent we can only guess for now. We know he still plans to kill Shen to prove to Fuuko that he’s stronger, but he still needs to raise him to become strong enough that doing so holds meaning. I can’t imagine that they’re on necessarily better terms, but at least murderous revenge isn’t on the table this time

Mei says that Shen needs to be saved, presumably from himself if I had to guess. I figure he’s gotten obsessed with being the strongest for some other reason than avenging Mei this time, and he’s pushing himself to a dangerous degree. Maybe it has something to do with Mui, this time? She’s almost definitely going to be coming into play during this arc (if for no other reason than convenience) so having her be a key player in Shen’s new backstory would be a helpful way to reintroduce her to the current loop

Fuuko’s fight with Mei also served as a great appetizer for this upcoming tournament arc, with Fuuko showing off a new Unluck technique! Using her long hair, she wraps it around her arms as bracers while also forming blades that should look familiar to everyone! They’re almost identical to Andy’s Dead Blades, further demonstrating not only Fuuko’s growth, but Andy’s continued influence on her! Makes me excited to see how Undead has evolved over the last four billion years, likely with some inspiration from Andy’s desire to see Fuuko

Jumping forward to the tournament, LOOK AT THOSE OUTFITS!!! Fuuko and Yusai really pull off those uniforms, and for some reason, I’m really liking how Billy looks. Maybe it’s wearing the jacket as a cape, maybe it’s that big ol’ smile, or maybe it’s because I’ve always had a bit of a thing for that style of pants, but that’s a good lookin’ man right there

Feng’s expression when he sees Fuuko is also pretty fun. I know it’s a self-indulgent read, but there’s...a weird sense of romanticism to anyone being that excited to see another person. I guess this is the feeling people get with hateships? Or yanderes? ...Huh, Fuuko pairs really easily with people whose appearances belie their ages, doesn’t she? Andy, Gina, Feng...wonder what’s gonna happen with Ruin...

As for how this arc is going to go, I’m hoping we get to have a little bit of time with Yusai specifically, as I feel like we haven’t gotten nearly enough development for her. Honestly, since she was the elderly master type like Feng previously, I can see her having a good rapport with Feng

Before I finish up, I want to just touch on the little details real quick, as I am wont to do

I’m glad to see that even without his sense of taste (I assume), Phil is able to eat thanks to Entruster. Wasn’t as much of a downside as it was presented to be, I guess!

Sean closing his eyes when he smiles turned him invisible. It’s always fun to see Tozuka pay attention to that, I’d probably end up forgetting half the time if it were me

Continuing Tozuka’s love of Gundam, the announcer for the tournament is a pastiche of the announcer from G Gundam, right down to the eyepatch and mustache

...Where did Gina get a smartphone in 1999?

While I’ve obviously been loving every arc in this loop (and every arc prior), I think this might be the most excited that the first chapter of an arc has gotten me for what’s to come since chapter 1! I anticipate it won’t actually be a tournament arc, but Negator vs. Negator is always the most fun match-up type for me personally, so any battles we get here are sure to be great! See y’all next week!

[nutty1005]

28 Words, to Fight Against the Trough Period

Original Article: http://szb.dlxww.com/epaper/dlwb/pc/pic/202302/17/977d0b0e-f3f4-4008-b9b2-5474c64b3a46.jpg.1 Translator’s note: The article was published in Dalian Evening News on 17 Feb 2023. 

Recently, Douyin released the Supertopic Level chart, actor Xiao Zhan was the only “Diamond 3”, his popularity value was the sum of the 2nd and 3rd ranked traffic, his commercial value was also first among Chinese celebrities. As of the end of 2022, Xiao Zhan had as many as 35 various endorsements, he was the Chinese face rarely seen in various major shopping malls in Europe and the United States. This was still during the period where he had no dramas airing, and he was even in a “semi-quiet” state for the past 3 years, with few popular hot searches and rarely participating in variety shows.

Many people more or less knew about the 227 incident. After that, Xiao Zhan, a suddenly popular traffic star, plummeted and fell to the bottom, many endorsements were suspended, and some variety shows and programs that originally planned to invite him had to stop the plans due to the pressure from antis. Even when participating in events, in the final group photo session, he would consciously stand at the furthest position, with some distance from the people next to him, so that he could be cut off later… Faced with such a predicament, as an artist who lived off traffic and popularity, how did he move out of it?

In an interview with “Zhongxin Economic View”, Xiao Zhan used 28 words to describe his state during those few months: “Be serious when working, read when confused, think when alone, sleep when upset.”

This passage was not original by Xiao Zhan. Some would say this is Carnegie’s educational motto, while others would think it was a summary of netizen’s talk. There were many versions, some would be “read when confused, exercise when busy, think when alone”, and “do things when awake, read when confused, sleep when angry, and think when alone”. All these were meant for facing bottleneck periods, trough periods or even the darkest moments of life, career and interpersonal relationships. People should look inward, through learning, exercising, thinking and even sleeping, to return to their original intentions and remember why they set out in the first place, think about could be like at its worst, and then find the answer from the wisdom of predecessors.

This was just like a charging and restarting process. Let the mind quieten down, let the emotions soothe and relax, broaden the vision and landscape. The body was at the lowest, but the spirit would reach the peak, becoming strong and tolerant. Looking back, these previous troubles, hurtful people and past incidents, what could there be that could not be surpassed?

Xiao Zhan made the right choice after 227: he rarely spoke out, because he knew that everything he said would be wrong and would attract overwhelming abuse; he personally disbanded his fan support club, asking everyone to study hard and work hard; he temporarily set aside his work, but I believed he did not stop reading and thinking. Even after the legendary “8 Seconds of Red Sea” in Tencent Star Night in December 2020, he still insisted on staying low-key, and his gaze had changed visibly: some people would say that he was physically weak, so he went to the gym to do weight lifting and developed lovely muscles; some people would say that he did not use his own voice in acting, so he went to act in theaters, using the down-to-earth stage to hone his acting skills, hone his line skills, and learn from outstanding predecessors and peers.

The cyber terrorism then now made him a success instead. Time and time again data showing he was “massively ahead”, staying miles ahead in all kinds of rankings, making it hard for “antis” to continue their actions. 227 is about to celebrate its third anniversary, but his fans are more rational and have a wider age distribution and among them are many talented people who have personally written articles and videos to promote their idol to the world.

In the period where traffic stars are falling from grace one by one, where the Central Media criticizes the phenomenon of “desperate illiteracy”, Xiao Zhan, who has received a formal and complete university education, who knows how to use the 28 words to get through the trough period, defines himself as an “actor”, leading his fans to pursue positive energy, is especially precious. And the story of him moving out of the trough period should inspire more people.

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

something that has been on my mind lately is the way particular events in youth can affect the way people are able to navigate their identity. BIG really hit me hard and at the time of it coming out i didnt get why but i just broke up with someone who i was with since i was 15 (im in my twenties now) and ive been thinking a lot about it. i have never had the opportunity to explore my identity and sexual orientation and i feel like i am still not able to because of the way i have been treated in a certain subject. maybe this is a bit dark or something, feel free to ignore this if it is!

You are so right about this, anon. I had my first relationship when I was 15/16, thereabouts, I had liked this person for a while, and that was what made me come to terms with my sexuality, but I never had the time to explore my sexuality after I realised it. In fact the very next day I realised my mistake with rushing into a relationship so quick afterwards and tried to back out of it but my partner of that time didn't let me.

Fast forward, over a year later, we're still dating, the relationship is quite strained, and I'm in college now talking with another queer person, cannot believe my luck at having found a whole community in college of other queer people, and this person asks me 'Are you seeing someone?' and I realised how badly in that moment I wanted to say no. But I said yes and I pondered on that when I went back and soon afterwards we broke up.

It's only after that, when I had the breathing room, that I was able to learn to like. Just love that I'm a lesbian, yk? I was able to find what it means for me personally as an individual to be a lesbian when it doesn't involve having a partner. What I liked about it, what I wanted to learn about it, how much I loved loving women, all of that, stuff I'd missed out on earlier. And I think it was a key part of my relationships after that one being a lot healthier. Even the ones that ended on a bad note, I was able to enjoy them while they lasted because I understood my place in those relationships better.

Every person's circumstances are different, I wouldn't generalise that what worked for me would work for others but I'd definitely advise young queers, if you are able to, try and give yourself some time to just explore your identities and what those identities mean To You and learn what this community, especially people who have come before us and fought our fights for us, can teach us, before you rush into a relationship. The world is going nowhere, I promise, you won't lose out on your chance, I'm heading to my late twenties and I'm still young, people in their thirties are still young, don't be scared of going slow if you need that to find yourself first.

Anon, sending you much strength and love ❤️❤️ Hope you discover so so much more about yourself on this journey!

[safyresky]

Crystal Springs Chapter 21: Jacqueline's Cat

aka, Two Weeks Later, is up and at em, right here! Give it a read, give it a review, have a blast and a half!

For those who've recently joined the tag, hi! Allow me to introduce to you my The Santa Clause 3-specific fic, Crystal Springs! If you're in the mood for some funky gen fic, featuring our beloved icy blorbo Jack Frost and a redemption arc of sorts, with a cast of absolutely unhinged OCs, I'd highly recommend giving Crystal Springs a chance! Here's a summary for you all to eat up:

"It's been nearly a year since Jack's thaw and things...could be better, admittedly. It seems, that as the year has gone on and he's improved his relationship with Santa and the whole of Elfsburg, his powers have taken a hit. December's just around the corner, and his powers are just short of being gone.

This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that Jack's powers are the only reason that Elfsburg, the Workshop, and the North Pole are able to exist safely, tucked away under the Dome. With his powers gone, the winter magic that keeps the Dome sturdy and dishing out proper quantities of Christmas magic, is running hot and out of control. It's melting, and the North Pole is getting warm.

Unable to hide his power loss any longer, an intervention is held by the Council and Jack admits that he lacks the Frost. But thankfully, there is a solution: enacting the Legate Law, summoning the sprite next-in-line for the title of Jack Frost.

There's just one problem: Jack's Legate is his younger sister, Jacqueline, who he has not seen or talked to since he nearly killed her dead almost fourteen hundred years ago. Out of options, with no other possible solution in their sights, they do it, bringing Jack and the sister he hurt so many years ago back together once more, in the hopes that together, they can get Jack's powers back and stop the Deliquesce.

Unfortunately, the Frosts have never been very lucky. Soon after her arrival, Jacqueline starts experiencing some unexpected blackouts, with unintended consequences. With Jack's powers hanging in the balance, and Jacqueline on the fritz, the pair decide to head back home to Crystal Springs, bringing Jack face to face with the rest of his family...and an ancient threat waiting for their moment to strike, their carefully laid plans finally coming full circle. Seems like saving Christmas may be a little bit...complicated this year.

This fic is my baby. Originally posted in 2012/13, it was finished in 2014/15, rewritten in 2017, and then again starting in 2020. We're still working through the 2020 version NOW, hence why you see these random updates in the tags, but not on ff.net. (CS is not posted to ao3 as of yet, but I'll get to it one of these days! )

Piqued your interest? SCHWEET! Have some links.

PROLOGUE (skipable tbh, will be better once Frostmas is finished) CHAPTER 1 (good starting point, would recommend)

Not vibing it? Cool cool cool, go ahead and click that J key and head on down your dash to something you do vibe!

All caught up on CS 202X? Then onto the main event!

What's 🆕 In Chapter 21?

AXED the ENTIRE lost journals/here's what we learnt at the Dream Spire bit with the cold front, given that I took those events and spread them about the previous two chapters, Chapter 19: The Man with a Plan, and Chapter 20: Freedom, both of which were updated December 4th! (icymi) :)

Probably should've updated this one along with the other two, but I neglected to read ahead/totally forgot about the cold front preamble while Fino is fighting for his life under the bed lol, so here we are! Hopefully it didn't uh. Cause confusion for readers not on tumblr lmao

PREAMBLE ASIDE, WHAT'S GOING ON THIS CHAPTER?

🆕 Sibling fluff!

🆕 Blinter fluff!

🆕 CS lore!

🆕 Fiera's doing hot girl soot! (literally)

BETTER focus on the fam helping the cold front figure shit out re: blackouts and power shortages!

NEW Scott/Carol banter because Carol deserves to get a few digs at Scott!

WORD COUNT F A C T S: 2014 -> 4,440k 2017 -> 7,866k 2022-> 15,431k :O

I think last week's angst really spurred me on to finish this chapter. Please accept my humble offering of the main timeline where all the frosts are alive and thawed and nobody is dead, I swear. And as usual, if you find yourself enjoying it, do drop me a line! Send a review my way! Throw a reblog out there! I like to hear what people think! I will talk about these blorbos for DAYS.

[captainderyn]

🖊 each for Raenor, Wulfryn, and Ryn Shepard

Thank you for the ask <3

--

Raenor:

Raenor's lute is considered an antique by most human standards, though I'm sure the elves have some special materials they lose so they don't have to remake their stuff every other week with how time passes for them. He got that lute when he returned to Rivendell after the events of Edhelion (or sometime around then). That means that the lute is a few centuries old.

After Wulfwryn learns this she refuses to handle it with anything other than upmost care for fear that she'll do something to break it. Raenor himself barely allows anyone else to handle it as it is so dear to him. It represents his choice to stay in Middle-Earth after one of the greatest tragedies of his life and maintaining that lute is a form of maintaining that hope. He regularly repaints the designs he'd hand painted all those years ago, adding new things the more adventures he's had. There's a tree of Gondor hidden among all the other imagery.

Further on, when Faewryn starts to learn music from her father, Raenor gifts her her first instrument and they paint it together.

Wulfwryn:

Wulfwryn actually never wanted to be involved with any of what is going on in LOTRO. Her winding up in the position she's in is total happenstance. She was just following leads trying to find Aragorn as her last ditch "my homeland (Gondor) feels like it's falling down around me and there's this One Myth about this One Dude" and when she gets thrown into the brigand's jail near Archet the last thing she expects is to be saved by the very man she was hunting for (though she doesn't learn that til later).

Frankly, half of what she does for the events of LOTRO are because of her sworn loyalty to her Future King, not out of a selfless need to save everything that's going wrong. Yes, she wants to help those in need, yes she cares deeply about the people she wishes to help, but her main driving force at least to begin with was not altruism. If Aragorn had not been wrapped up in what was happening, she probably wouldn't be either.

(Neither would Raenor, for that matter, he's there because he needs to settle 600 y/o trauma related to Skorgrim returning. After that he's there because of Wulfwryn and the fact that he can't turn a blind eye to the world's suffering. He's the more altruistic of the two).

Ryn:

Ryn prefers to be up close and personal when fighting. She's most comfortable using her biotics and her shotgun, though she's proficient enough at using other weapons tights to survive in a punch (She sucks at using sniper rifles--there was nothing "letting Garrus win" about their date on the Citadel in ME3. No matter how much she's practiced it just is not her specialty).

She mostly uses biotic flare (hehe boom), charge, and nova on top of her shotgun/spicy biotic melee. She's a very powerful biotic and she's honed herself to where it feels natural as breathing to do this, but it does take a toll on her. In long, drawn out fights, or particularly long fights it may overdraw her and she ends up with headaches/nosebleeds, ect. With great power comes consequences and all that. Does it stop her? No. Especially come ME3 where she's in her full all-or-nothing-even-if-that-means-herself mindset.

Unrelated Garrus Headcanon (because I've been brainstorming a Garrus one shot and can't help it):

After the beginning of ME2, when Garrus believes Ryn is dead and he's going on to become Archangel, he two things with him always. The first is a picture of her--one of the few they have with each other from the ME1 times (they're best friends in ME1, maybe have some fledgling feels, no one can stop me) and they aren't in uniform. It's of them--more specifically Ryn--doing something stupid. No one tends to know who she is in that picture, and Garrus prefers not to explain. It's their little moment he has. He's lucky he had it on him when they escaped the first Normandy.

The second is a replica of a stupid little key chain that Ryn got him on the Citadel. It's this dumb little charm with a joke on it that Garrus definitely doesn't get because it's some human thing. But she cracked up when she gave it to him and saw his confusion. This was destroyed with the original Normandy, but he went back to the Citadel and hunted all over for another one. It now hangs as a charm on his sniper rifle (kind like what you can do in Halo: Infinite).