#it doesnt happen
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my mom keeps listing off things i need to do and accusatorily asking why i never do anything like art anymore n i am just. so exhausted. ive never been more tired i just want to burrow myself in the earth n disappear in the cold dirt
#i dont have energy for art and i honestly never have#ive never been creative#drawing sucks everything out of me and it takes me hours what it does other people a few minutes#i wasnt built for it either maybe#everything about living is so difficult for me#i cant even b loose and doodle#it doesnt happen#how can i think i was made to live when i cant even make art#silly joyful moments everyone else can#nothing feels good to me#except being with my boyfriend#im scared im gonna ruin everything#if not already w the way i look#then with how useless n empty n just snapping at everything to go away i get when im lost those bad things#ive never felt safe with anyone before so maybe itll be different but still im Scared#& on my own . its always the same its always tainted w that ache that dirty stain on everything that hits like nails being driven into me#i cant go shopping#i cant listen to music#i cant feel the sun on me or listen to birds#i cant look at water#i cant go grocery shopping#i cant even hear the sound of metal cutlery#only 1 second and im gone#lost in the agony n dizziness#i want to think i can escape it i can get better#but i dont know if i can#or how much false hope i can keep forcing myself through#it always comes back to me#no matter how much i hide n avoid it all#because im the problem
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Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite
#the only reason she gets this job is bc he doesnt trust her anywhere else in the palace#its like enrichment for manipulative girls#also so that he can set her on asshole deligates like a rabid little lapdog#she just has mean fuckin pomeranian energy that thing bites then lights you on fire w flames so hot theyre cold#i think their sibling dynamic could be sooo fucking funny its insane#azula#azula atla#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla zuko#firelord zuko#DISCLAIMER I AM YET TO READ THE COMICS SO IDK WHAT HAPPENS TO HER IN THEM#also long overdue for a rewatch of the show its insane
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birds of a feather
#totk#loz#link#tulin#totk spoilers#my comics#my art#it is almost 8 in the goddamn morning and my hand is cramping SO bad but if i didnt make this i was going to die#anyways link's signs: page 2 panel 1 he's signing “danger” and page 2 panel 4 he's signing “important/significant”#also idr where i got the “hair braiding is significant to the rito” probably from the reva/ink i used to read back in the day#(censored so it doesnt show up in the tags just in case lol)#theyre everything to me. if you couldn't tell#they have a brother dynamic 2 me but its open to interpretation#idk wtf happened tonight. two long comics from me back to back is absurd#broke this one up also so its more viewable too#sparks art
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every time i remember percabeth have canonically discussed marrying each other and that percy thought sadie looked like his and annabeth's daughter five years are added to my lifespan
#oh their future planning#like i alr know it would happen#but doesnt change that them thinking abt and discussing it is so cute#i love them#pjo#heroes of olympus#hoo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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CAN YOU FREAKS BUY IT IMMEDIATELY?
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— The Tale of the Body Thief
INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE | 2.08
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#loustat#iwtvedit#iwtvsource#tvedit#*#the next line of this being 'i didnt do it' so it doesnt happen in the book... but here#louis initiates it. so it does
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Hi !
I got bottom surgery on July 25th :3
I'm recovering well but I'll be on bedrest for a while. Collie and I will need rent help for September/food/gas/utilities/etc. Two disabled trans women. Anything helps ! Thank yall so much for all you've helped so far, it's saved my life ❤️
https://venmo.com/u/nora-esther-rose
https://www.paypal.me/NoraEstherRose
https://venmo.com/u/Leah-Esther-Rose
https://www.paypal.me/androgynophore
#leah is still her legal name#her mom helps w us having a phone at all and can sometimes help but never a full months rent help so thats def the most pressing matter#but we already paid august rent and we have a month so we'll probably be fine#actually still havent paid utilities :/#i was wondering if more donations would happen since the surgery date and apparently not#got three the day of and two the day before but we're at 70 rn after all the gas of dropping me off and visiting twice or smth.#idk. stupid van. she should be taking public transit but i get why she doesnt want to. barely anyone masks on public transit here anymore :/#edit update: collies mom helped us pay utilities for last month which was mostly the electricity bill. water bill comes every 3 months#so i guess we'll see how much that is.
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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playing around w slightly different hair renders
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#yuuji#megumi#cries megumi fought tooth n nail..... i refused 2 flip the canvas tho >:(#i vastly prefer drawing him facing right bc fr some reason it makes his hair look better silhouette-wise#so having him face left is alr a Challenge#but also having him slightly look down (difficult angle + changes the silhouette) had me bashing my head in2 th TABLE#same thing happened earlier this month w gardening megu middle pose . i did not learn my lesson#but even worse w this one yuuji's head is blocking th main pointy part tht basically carries the entirety of the shape language#u can imagine my distress i am sure#anyway th render made me a lot happier with it thank god. colours hard carry bless <3333#i didn't plan on making it a full sheet but i needed 2 remind myself that im good at drawing megumi#so i threw in solos of each of them n tried slightly different render flavours#idk how Different all of them look visually but th process fr each ws Very different so i am satisfied#fight aside this ws useful i think! got 2 break out some Clunkier chalks n dust off a few of my smoother blended brushes#think i picked up some things i can keep also !! which ws. u kno. the Goal#tbh every time i do art studies i feel like i am kirby#one time i got called an art ditto by one of my fav artist mutuals when i did a style challenge#SUCH high praise from her it lives in my mind i take it out on days when i feel like trash#it doesnt Sound good when u say u r good at copying but real talk it is such a good skill i am very happy 2 have it in my arsenal
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family photo
#cult of the lamb#cotl heket#cotl leshy#cotl kallamar#cotl shamura#cotl narinder#ned draws#you cant tell me kallamar didnt have braces as a teen#and heket + leshy didnt have zits#the shenanigans happened the second the photo was taken thats why shamura doesnt notice#they scolded everyone as soon as they saw the photo
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harvest moon 🌕
#friday the 13th#ft13#jason voorhees#horror#slashers#fanart#art folder#harvest moon doesnt fully happen til the 18th but its close enough!
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Ollie dress Remastered but make it sluttier bc the old version was getting itchyyyyy ft. Kari getting her 👀s in 🍹
#ollie#kari#ponti#theyre talking abt early spongebob episodes#a blurry small ponti but hes there alright#its draw my ocs in anything i want even if it doesnt make any sense o clock#au where bruce survived so they go on a stealth assassination mission but have to be whores abt it#everytime i think im slowing down on art improvement i do some shit like this and oh my god what happened#my art#oc#original character#monster boy#monster#monster oc#orc#half orc#tiefling#tiefling oc#demon#half demon#terato#exophilia#monster boyfriend#dress#dress meme
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DC X DP PROMPT #16
Mr. Lancer is the brother of Lex Luthor. He never really had an eye for business, or invention, or innovation. He just wanted to be a teacher, spread the good word on literature. Which is the whole reason he had changed his name and moved to the middle of nowhere.
He does not appreciate his brother delivering a package in his door. Not delivering it personally, not even sending a physical person to do a drop off. Just a measly note.
'hold onto this for me - L.L.'
What has Lex ever done for him? Nothing, that's what. So Mr. Lancer does the sensible thing. He opens the box to investigate to find - hardened ectoplasm?
Mr. Lancer knows about Danny and co. Au where Kryptonite is just hardened Ecto and is basically rock candy. Lex sends his brother a shit ton of kryptonite for safe keeping thinking 'he lives in the middle of nowhere what's he gonna do with it?' he feeds it to Danny :)
#dc x dp#dpxdc#lex luthor and mr. lancer are brother#mr. lancer changed his name#lex sends him kryptonite for safe keepings#mr. lancer feeds it to danny lmao#tasty treat#he does not know that the glowing green stuff is kryptonite but he also doesnt ask where lex is getting all the candy hes giving to danny#dont look a gifthorse in the mouth and all that#what happens when lex comes to collect?#a beatdown#obviously#thats dannys stash now#up to you if its lancer or danny doing the beating though
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EGO DEATH
#metal gear#metal gear solid#mg#mgs#mgs2#raiden#my art#HAPPY APRIL 30THHH#(WHICH I HAD TO CRAM FOR BECAUSE I FORGOOOOT)#my love for raiden has lasted 4 years and is going strong <3#i hope next year will FINALLY be the year where i dont have to rush something#everything was going perfect for that to happen this year#but i forgor#*pensive face*#also. please forgive the edgy caption but i had had it in mind since before i even began the drawing lol#and also please excuse the jpg format#*praying hands*#the file was to big as a png for some unknown reason#hopefully the quality doesnt suffer for it#anyways. enough rambling.#no thoughts only raiden <3
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a couple scribbles i cleaned up. also i think i like drawing him in varying states of distress
#i desperately want to know what happened the first time he cried#actually is that something he can do? is he capable of it?#i feel like he wouldn't like it...#since crying is messy and we all know he enjoys/values his appearance greatly#i mean cmon. its an involuntary loss of composure. and especially if he doesnt understand what/why its happening#so in my mind rn hed be idk... kinda desperate to stop crying & act fine?#HES SO FASCINATING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM <3#many things probably!#what to do when you're a puppet created as a blank slate while everyone around you already Knows Shit and Understands Feelings#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#wally darling#i know there's a lot of Head Empty jokes abt him#but honestly he gives the vibes of thinking constantly#always absorbing information and considering and learning and Forming Opinions#he LOOKS head empty. but he isnt.#i just cant imagine him never not Thinking#unless he really is head empty in which case. good for him. i support him no matter what. hes just like me<3
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