#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit

[angelstrawbabie420]

grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it

[nanaslutt]

Bodyswap w/ Gojo part 2

part 1, here

Contains: fem reader, caught masturbating, teasing, dirty talk, rough sex :3, unprotected sex, multiple creampies, multiple orgasms, kinda selfcest?? (they’re in each others body’s while they fuck), spanking

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

"Ahh! F-fuck, mmm-" Gojo's voice could be heard from the other side of the door, with squelching accompanying the lewd moans into the hallway. Gojo pressed your body up to the door quietly, listening to you use his body to get off after telling him to not even look at yours in the shower. Someone's a little hypocrite~ he internally cooed, fighting back a giggle.

As full of Gojo was of himself, he wasn't the type of guy to get off on his own moans, but he did find it arousing that you were in his body and were using him like some slut for your own pleasure. He waited patiently until he heard his body cum, still pressed against the door until the sighing and shuffling on the other side of the door died before he knocked to announce his arrival.

Here the two of you lie, in your room in silence while Gojo stares at the poorly tucked away cum rag you used to clean up your mess under your bed. "Ahh~ I always feel so much better after a shower." He sighs, starting up a conversation. "Mmm, me too." You mumbled, still staring at the ceiling from your place on the bed. "Yeah? Why don't you go take one?" He asked, walking over to your bed and making himself comfortable as he lay against your pillows.

"Gross Satoru, I'm not taking a shower in this body, unless I have to.. and who said you could sit on my bed?" You chastized, setting yourself up on your forearms to look at him, finding that it was still hard to make eye contact. Every time you did you were reminded of what a pervert you had been, and how you probably almost got caught.

"No? You don't feel dirty?" He asked pouting out his bottom lip teasingly, insistent on keeping his eyes glued to yours even tho yours tried to avoid his like the plague. "Why would I feel dirty? You had your infinity on during the fight, you're spotless." You rambled. "Maybe, but don't you feel the need to wash up after you cum?" He said, leaning your head in his hands as he smiled at you from under your lashes.

You felt your entire body heat up at his words, you had the same feeling as when you took one too many candies as a kid and your parents called you out for it. You could feel your face heat up and your palms become sweaty. You tried to play dumb, making brief eye contact with your body and noticing the smug look Gojo had manipulated on its face, before plopping your head back down on the bed as you laid flat and made yourself at home by staring at the ceiling once more.

"W-why is that relevant?" You questioned, hoping somehow that Gojo hadn't somehow caught on to what you did in his body, you thought you had been so careful! "Playing coy doesn't sound good when it's coming from my voice~" He said, dragging out his words for emphasis as he sat straight, looking down at his form as you lay still on the bed. Fuck, how did his technique work again? He could teleport, right, maybe if you just closed your eyes realllly hard and focused you could excape this horribly awkward conversation.

You tried, you really did, but to no avail. When you opened your eyes you were still looking at your tan ceiling, and you still saw your body looking down at you through your peripherals. "Did it feel good?" He asked, making your face heat up. "It sounded like it felt good." He giggled. "Y-you were listening?" You gasped, looking into your eyes now as the two of you kept eye contact. "I don't think that really matters when you violated my body when I was away~" He cooed, making a strong point. You still couldn't help but feel embarrassed thinking about how much me might've heard.

"S-Satoru I'm sorry, really, I have no excuses I just- fuck I don't even know what came over me." You blushed, trying to keep eye contact with yourself to seem more sincere as you spoke to him. "Ahh~ I cant believe you would do this after you yelled at me to not even look at your body~" He said dramatically, wrapping your arms around your body to block off your view and make you look smaller as he pretended to feel violated.

The white-haired man was having so much fun right now, it wasn't every day he got to tease you like this, so he figured why not drag it out a bit. You started apologizing profusely, saying over and over how sorry you were before your own laugh cut you off. "S-sorry." He stuttered through a laugh, whipping his own smile off your face as he dropped your chin down to look at you in faux seriousness. Something told you he didn't care as much as he said he did.

"It's amusing to hear you grovel like this, I didn't mean to laugh out loud." He confessed, making your face heat up in annoyance. You were mad that you had zero ground to chastise him right now as if he really was upset about this whole thing, you didn't want to make it any worse. "It did feel good though right?" He asked again, biting your lip as he scooted closer to his body. "My cock is sooo sensitive I bet you were having a field day~ I don't blame you for not being able to stop~" He sympathized, using your hand to rub over his abs, a sensation that made your skin tingle under his touch.

"S-satoru-" You tried to interrupt him, "Did you play with my balls too? I never last long when I do that." He added, lowering his hand to rub over his v-line as he watched the tent in his pants grow slowly and steadily at his words. "Satoru what are you d-doing?" You managed to ask, his voice coming out meek and submissive. The man hummed, caressing his hand lower and lower until he reached the band of his sweats, teasing your fingertips under the waistline.

"I guess I'm just a little envious that you got to experience cumming in my body, and I didn't even get to look at yours~" He pouted, playing dumb. He made a good point, you had perved out on his own body like this when you set such strict rules for him, that he sounded like he actually followed. "So what does that mean?" You asked hesitantly, swallowing hard when he pulled back his pants and boxers before letting them snap back against your skin. "Well.. you must be a little curious to see what fucking something other than my hand feels like, right?" He asked, hitting the nail on the head.

"Satoru if you're talking about us having sex right now I don't-" Your voice cut you off, you felt a hand start to rub in tantalizing circles over the tent in your pants, and you quickly dropped your gaze away from your face to watch. "That's exactly what I had in mind~" He cooed, tilting his head at you while he rubbed his cock in your smaller hand. "Isn't that.. going to be uncomfortable?" You asked, surprising Gojo when you weren't immediately put off by the idea, the hand that was rubbing his cock definitely aiding in your answer.

"Does it feel uncomfortable?" He asked, sliding his hand under the waistband of his boxers as he gripped his cock with your hand and started stroking it directly. As good as pleasure felt in your body, he wished he could feel you touch his cock like this, but maybe after this, he would have an easier time getting you into bed when things went back to normal. "Hmm? Does it?" He cooed in your voice, making you blush at how seductive you sounded.

"F-feels good but-" You choked out through a moan, your breath hitching when Gojo slung your body to sit on top of himself as he used your free hand to cover his mouth, stopping your words. "Just look at me in the mirror if fucking your body is too weird~" He giggled, watching as your eyes looked past your body sitting on top of you as you made eye contact with Gojo's body in the mirror. "I for one don't mind looking at myself like this, I've definitely had a wet dream about this before." He giggled, easing your nerves at his unseriousness, you doubted he was joking either.

He released the hand that was covering your mouth as he pulled his boxers down enough for his dripping cock to spring out. "Fuck, are you that wet because of the situation, or is that all my body's doing?" He laughed, rubbing his pointer finger over the top of his dick as he tapped the precum agaisnt it, making a lewd wet 'plp' sound. "S-shut up." You groaned through your teeth, feeling the coil in your stomach tighten when he wrapped his hand around himself again and started stroking at a propper pace. "Shit, this is so weird, heh." Gojo laughed, the feeling of looking at himself while he jerked himself off, out of body, was truly an experience.

"This was y-your idea, don't complain now." You said in his voice, watching intently at his hand that moved over his cock expertly. His precise and knowledgeable movements felt a hell of a lot better than your own, and the visual of your hand dwarfed by his massive cock was a sight to behold, one that aided in your growing arousal. "Yeah, yeah." He said, briefly sitting up as he pulled your shorts and panties down your body, leaving his cock hanging twitching in the air between the two of you as he disrobed your body.

The man turned around and faced himself in the mirror as he sat on top of you, the bottom half of your body bare as he pulled your shirt over your body and feasted his eyes on your naked form. "Shit, actually.." He smirked, biting his lip as he ran your hands down your body seductively. "Fuck me like this, wanna watch your body move while you do it." He said, reaching behind you to grab his dick again and stroke it while he continued admiring your body.

"Satoru please don't look it's embarrassing." You begged, covering your face with his massive hands as your entire body felt like it was on fire from the arousal and combined embarrassment. "Im about to watch you get fucked, you might wanna get over your fears." He giggled. "Besides, you're fucking hot, can feel your body gettin' all horny from just lookin' at it." He confessed in your voice, making you whine. The man grabbed his dick and lifted his body over his cock, looking down to line it up with your entrance before he pressed the tip against your hole.

"W-wait Satoru a condom-" You warned when you felt him start to sit down on you. "Trust me, you do not want a condom on when you feel this." He said, gasping when his tip popped past the tight ring of your cunt. Every alarm that was going off in your head melted away when you felt the tight and warm sensation envelop his cock, you felt his balls twitch and tighten the more he sat down on his cock, you would worry about the lack of a condom later.

"Fuuuuuck, that's the shit~" He groaned, bottoming out on his cock while he placed his hands on his body's knees and stared at your body in the mirror, specifically where the two of you were connected. "I feel so fucking f-fulll~" He wined, wiggling his hips in circles on your lap as he tried to adjust to the feeling of having a cock inside him for the first time. His dick was pressing up against all the right spots in your walls he didn't even find when he was fingering your cunt earlier in the shower, this was a hundred times better than your pathetic digits, he started to understand why girls kept blowing up his phone after a one night stand now.

"I- I think I'm gonna cum- p-please don't move." You wined, using Satoru's massive hands to grip your body's waist hard enough to leave bruises as you tried to make sure he couldn't even wiggle around. "I wouldn't mind feeling that~" He said, referring to you filling him up. You tilted your head back and took some deep breaths to steady yourself. Your cunt was incredibly warm and wet it felt like it was going to melt his dick as he sat still on you. The strong warmth that had blossomed in your tummy was almost overbearing, and your head was spinning at all the stimulation.

You knew Gojo was experienced, so how did it still feel this good? How did it still feel so sensitive? Was it because it was your first time feeling anything like it? You chalked it up to that, your train of thought getting cut off when your voice spoke through the room.

"Can I move? This fucking cunt is aching for it." Satoru wined, trying to wiggle his hips in your strong grip. "I think so." You nodded when he looked at you for your approval. It was so freaky seeing someone else control your body, but the pleasure of your own cunt squeezing around the cock you temporarily had eased your nerves significantly. "You might have to help me out, never rode a dick before." He giggled in your voice, turning his head back to look at your body in the mirror as he lifted his weight until his dick was almost completely out of him, before he sat all of your weight back down on his cock.

"Oh- fuck-" Gojo wined in your voice, coming out a little more submissive than he would've liked. He quickly started a fast pace bounding on your lap, your jaw dropped open as you allowed yourself to feel everything. "Y-eah it feels fucking good d-doesn't it?" Gojo tried to laugh through a moan, your voice getting louder when you started fucking his hips up into your body, poisoning his dick in and out of the man who possessed your body.

Gojo was right, you could think of nothing worse than something like a condom blocking your direct contact from feeling your tight walls wrap around his cock like this. You were impressed by your strength in this body when you used your grip on the body on top of you to lift it up and bring it down harder on his cock, making him scream out while your breathing picked up.

"S-so roughh~" Gojo smiled at his current body in the mirror, abandoning one of his hands that had stabilized himself on your thigh to rub his clit in fast circles, making your walls squeeze his dick tightly. "God Satoru- loosen" thrust "up!" you grit in his voice, your eyes threatening to roll back in your head at how intense the feeling of your pulsing walls around his dick felt. "C-cant ohmygod c-cumming!" He cried suddenly, his back arching forward as your cunt spasmed around his cock.

You fucked him through his orgasm, loud short wines and curses fell from his lips as he came, his body jerked as the waves crashed over him, his body going limp in your hold. You took the opportunity to manhandle your body, quickly turning the two of you around in one swift movement you forced him into a weak doggystyle position, his face being pressed into the sheets while drool dripped out from the corner of his lips.

You couldn't let up on his cunt, the pulsing around his cock was an amazing feeling and you were determined to feel it again, Gojo pressed your thighs together and crossed your feet at the overstimulation he was feeling as mindless babbles and whines of your own name could be heard in your voice underneath you. You prayed no one was around the dorms at this time, as they might be a little confused on what they were hearing right now.

"Fuck- make me c-cum again give it to me g-give it to me" He whined, his words being slurred into one as you fucked heavy and mean thrusts into his cunt. You don't know what came over you, but the need to respond and talk dirty back to him was overwhelming you, "Yeah? Wanna cum all over this cock again?" You said, making yourself blush as you aroused yourself hearing his dirty words in your ears. "Y-e-ssssss fuckk~" Gojo whined into the sheets, a cock-drunken smile plastered on his face as he took everything your gave him.

You felt his balls coil tighter, the knot in his stomach tying itself harder into knots as you fucked a particularly soft spot inside your cunt. The telltale sign of Gojo's orgasm was creeping over his body, making your thrusts grow sloppy. Gojo laughed from underneath you, the sound being chopped up by moans. "Y-you're gonna c-cum arent you?" He teased, trying to look at you out of the corner of his eye.

You probably should've felt more uncomfortable with how arousing fucking your own body was, but you would probably dream about this night for years to come, so you could ponder about that later.

The expression Gojo had on your face was so pretty, you had to admit. Your eyes kept rolling back in your head each time you fucked into him, the fucked out smile he had on, the moans that were forced out of your mouth, and the way your cunt pulsed around you pushed you over the edge.

Gojo whined when he felt you still against his ass, "Yeahhhh fill me up, fuck your cum into me~" He whined, taking advantage of being in your body to say shit you would never say, for his own pleasure. He bit his lip at how warm his cum was when it shot rope after rope inside him. Your clit was throbbing at the feeling, he so badly wanted to reach down and pet it till he came as well, but he would wait till you started fucking into him again.

Right when you started coming down from your orgasm, something akin to the feeling of a back scratch, or getting your head massaged at the salon washed over the two of you. Suddenly you had an intense ache in your lower back, and your tummy felt strangely warm. "Heh, what a fucking twist~" You heard Gojo's voice coo down at you, only this time, you weren't in control of it anymore. "I wanted to feel my cock cum inside your cunt while I was in your body one last time, but now I can feel it from my own." He grinned maliciously.

Even though Gojo had just cum, he started fucking into you like a madman, the squelching between your legs was so much louder now as your combined cum gathered around the base of his thick cock. "Have fun in my body?" He asked, giggling with his signature headache inducing giggle, "You liked cumming inside something? Glad you didnt use a condom huhhh~?" He teased, pulling his hips back to the tip before he fucked his entire occk back into you, making you scream out.

Gojo had adjusted surprisingly quick, I guess that makes sense for the world's strongest sorcerer. You on the other hand were still trying to come to terms with being in your own body again and having practically no time to adjust to the feeling of his cock before he started bullying it into your walls. It's not like it hurt, but the feeling of him fucking into your sweet spot so rough was almost too much. "Oh, you were aching down here~" Gojo remembered, reaching his hand under your body to rub your clit in little circles. "Let me help you~" He cooed, sucking air in through his teeth when your cunt tightened around him at the addition of stimulation.

"S-toru wa-ittt-" You cried, trying to warn him of how close you were but ultimately falling short. Your walls started to spasm around him as your body came for the nth time that night. "Oh shiiit~ Feels so fucking good baby-" Gojo groaned, letting his head fall back and his jaw drop in a small o as you came hard around his length, and he actually got to feel it this time. Your body was completely limp to his mean thrusts, your eyes rolling back as nonsense spilled from your lips as he fucked you through your orgasm, past overstimulation, and towards another high.

He lifted your tummy up from underneath you and pressed down on your lower back simultaneously to get you in a meaner arch, before he went back to rubbing your clit. The man placed his foot next to your body to give himself more leverage to fuck you harder, and that's exactly what he did. "Tell me you need my cum- cmon baby- say it-" He cooed, gritting his teeth together as he used your cunt to work himself up to his orgasm.

His eyes darted between the mess the two of you were creating at your fucked out, drooling face. He pulled back his hold on your hip to leave a mean spank against your ass, making you yelp out into the room. "What did I say, huh? Don't fucking ignore me when I'm this close~" Gojo chastized, shaking his head. "N-eed your cum 'toruuu" You slurred, "W-ant to feel you fill me up-" You begged, your words being chopped up by his mean thrusts.

"Again," Gojo said, leaving another smack on the fat of your ass. "C-cum inside mee~" You repeated. "Again," Another smack. "Toru- toru- toru-" You repeated his name as he groaned through his teeth. He felt his balls tighten quickly before he was thrown into his orgasm. His body jerked as his hips fucked load after load into your used and abused cunt. He released a long groan when he stilled his hips to your ass and let himself finish. Your moans had quieted as you laid under him, whimpering softly each time he fucked into you but otherwise trying to catch your breath from how hard he just gave it to you.

Once Gojo had released all of his seed into you, he pulled his sore cock out and gripped himself at the base as the both of you groaned in oversensitivily. "Fuck, think you milked me dry after that one." He laughed, pulling your pussy lips to the side to get a better view of your stuffed hole that leaked his cum in a steady drip down the back of your thighs. "I don't think I've ever been so sore in my life." You said quietly into the sheets, making him giggle.

"I think that was my fault, I might've worked your cunt a little too hard in the shower." He said, letting your body drop down onto the bed as he sat beside you and rubbed your thigh soothingly. You stayed silent for a couple beats before his words registered in your head. Worked too hard in the shower? What? Wait.. did he?

Your jaw dropped, you turned your head to look at him with an incredulous look on your face while he smiled with faux innocence down at you. "You fucking hypocrite! You made me feel bad for masturbating in your body when it sounds like you went ape shit on mine!" The man just giggled infuriatingly, "I like teasing you~ I'm sorryyyy~ You practically handed the opportunity to me!" He defended, throwing his hands up in the air.

You sighed, looking away from his irritatingly handsome face as you shut your eyes and curled your body on your side feeling a headache start to come on. "Oh come onnn~ We had a good time~" The man's voice resonated in your ears while he wrapped his large body around yours and started placing kisses on your shoulder to ease your frustration. Was it possible to kill a curse twice? You sighed as your body relaxed against him, your exhausted body welcoming the kisses.

Jujutsu sources are the worstttt..

tag list: @volmort-nipple @chicana698 @thehonored-one @famousfirefishgoth @reader69sviewpoint @prettymoonlightsworld @officialholyagua @nelliesthere @bobawh0re @maliakealoha @r0ckst4rjk

[dullgecko]

Riz obviously suffers the most from racism, often needing to be disguised when they travel or just straight up murdering the assholes that can’t keep their mouths shut. Obviously the bad kids made a Riz Protection Squad… Wait, why is Riz the president of his own protection squad? “Riz, wait, put down the knife. We’re supposed to protect you.- WHO GAVE HIM A MISSILE LAUNCHER!?”(Missile launcher was a joint effort of Fig, Adaine, and Gorgug. Made to specifically target racists.)

It wasn’t very surprising that Fig also had to deal with racists, mostly from religious humans and elves. She didn’t know what to do the first time a Helio follower berated her for existing, it was one of her old friends in middle school too, she ended up crying in her room and wouldn’t let Sandra Lynn comfort her. After the second time she just started hissing exaggeratedly to scare them off, as well as threatening to set them on fire, it still hurt though.(After sophomore year she started expressing how much it actually effected her, mostly with the bad kids but she did open up to her parents too…Eventually.)

Gorgug was mostly left alone, simply because the racist were scared of him, but the times he does face discrimination he sorta just stares at the person until they walk away or until one of the bad kids just suddenly appears and beats up the person insulting him. (Adaine and Ayda made a spell that signals them if someone is being mean to Gorgug, since Adaine canonically believes that if someone is mean to him then they’re automatically evil. Ayda fully agrees.) The first time it happened was unfortunately in elementary school with his teacher and it continued the whole school year, he didn’t tell anyone until he brought it up during a family dinner in between sophomore year and junior year. No one had ever seen Digby and Wilma look so pissed before, not even Gorgug.

Fabian got a lot of shit for not being a “pure blood” of a human or an elf, but he never actually cared about it. It confused him the first time, like yeah, of course he’s not fully a human or fully an elf, that’s how genetics works. Fig and Ragh had to explain it to him for about two hours before he realized what they meant(Power-points had to be made), which resulted in a very long overdue murder trip to the assholes house. (He’s very proud of himself for finding the address without Riz’s help.)

Adaine never really had to deal with it, at least not towards her. She would get the odd comment of being uptight because she’s a high elf, but they would already be on the ground before they could say anything else. One of the few things her and Aelwyn agreed on while growing up was how horribly racist their parents are and how they would never be like that. After getting adopted she would speak up more openly for her friends and new family, gladly standing in the line of fire to lessen what the others had to hear. She also verbally abused Arthur until he made a system in the school that would make someone unable to speak if they try to be racist, sexist, or homophobic.

Kristen faced racism towards humans maybe two times, and each time she just laughed and screamed “So this is what I was missing out on!”. The others were not impressed, in fact they’re all very pissed and on the hunt for the asshole who insulted her.… “Riz…Get the missile launcher.” (Kristen got a little emotional and hugged them all after they got back. No, she doesn’t care about the amount of blood they’re all covered in. And no, she won’t ask about the weird bag or why they’re taking it to the basement…Or why it’s still moving.)

BONUS! Ayda makes them all write down the names and descriptions of people who hurt them(There’s no way out of it, they have to.), then goes to each person’s home and either makes sure they can’t say anything hurtful again or, if they’re already taken care of, just burns down the place and curses their blood line. Good pirates don’t discriminate in any way, and she will see to it that everyone will pay for hurting her paramour and her friends.

Riz has to deal with it a lot, but most of the time he just ignores it because it isnt worth getting into a fight over. ESPECIALLY when he was younger, and infinitely more puntable (its how he got so good at sneaking, he had to deal with it less if people didnt even notice he was there). It became less of an issue when he started packing heat, and EVEN LESS of an issue once he became a multiple confirmed dragon slayer. Sure, he still encountered the assholes sometimes but absoloutly /ruining their lives/ is just a fun little side hobby now. Oh you called me a slur? Oh no how did your wife find out you were cheating and where did she get that folder full of proof?

Outside of Solace its a bit rougher but he humors his friends desire to protect him, he even accepts a souped up arcubus from them that he keeps as a backup weapon just in case (but he's too attached to his own to use it). Anyone that gets past his friends to attack him though is leaving with more holes than they came with initially.

---------

Fig just laughs off anyones attempts at being racist these days. Fig is an archdevil, if anyone is racist towards her she simply makes a note of it for later. She might not do anything to hurt them in the moment but there are receipts, and she will be collecting her dues when they finally kick the bucket.

----------

The generally racist opinion of half-orcs is that they're dumb, slow and violent. Gorgug is none of these things, he's just quiet and actually thinks things through before replying (which might make it seem like he's a bit slow but its more that he's thoughtful). One of his teachers in middle school constantly made him the butt of jokes, and propped him up as an example that none of the other kids would want to be. He was careful to never loose his temper around that teacher just so he wouldnt fit the stereotype the way they wanted.

When his parents find out about it years after the fact, the teachers car is found dismantled in their driveway the very next morning. Every single piece that could be taken apart done so, and most of the metal pieces were left in a bucket of salt water. No one saw who did it and there was no evidence at the scene.

------------------

While Adaine doesnt have to deal with much by way of racism she /does/ have to deal with a lot of gross race-based fetishisation. Especially since she fits the idealised archetype of thin, blonde, kind elven wizard woman. More than one person has tried to flirt with her in a very gross way and been absoloutly /laid out/ by whichever of the bad kids was with her at the time (she's once witnessed Riz notice her getting harrased after coming around a corner, climb a chair, table then partially onto a display shelf to knock a guy out once. Very funny because it was one the only time she's seen him strike someone with a closed fist, rather than claws.).

----------------------------

Kristen laughs it off at first but she's a little more upset about it than she thought she would be later. She just doesnt have the same experiance with it as the others so she doesnt have the same coping mechanisms.

--------------------------

Ayda is a force to be reckoned with and is /usually/ the reason why Figs racist-punishment-wing is receiving their guests early. If they sincerely apologise and make amends she will let them off with a warning, but since she herself is not of the same race as the ones she enacts firery revenge on the ofen double down on the assholery and seal their fate.

[jqmalikhsgib]

astrology

six

to say your date went horribly wrong is an understatement. the guy didn’t even care enough to ask you any questions. in fact he didn’t stop talking about himself.

when you got home you immediately took a shower and headed downstairs to eat some ice cream. wanting to drown your sorrows in something sweet.

“eating ice cream this late could spoil your stomach.”

you jumped before sighing in relief.

“sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. may i?”

you simply nod. you grab an extra spoon for aaron as you both sit down and dig into the ice cream.

“im guessing the date didn’t go as well as planned?”

you scoffed. “worse. i think that guys more in love with himself than anything.”

aaron smiles. “i know the type. we meet cops like that all the time. so full of themselves they never stop to think about anything else. what happened that turned you off first?”

you stayed silent. you made a promise to yourself not to get too personal with him any longer. you couldn’t allow your silly crush to become anything more—more than it already had—you were already far gone. anymore you’d confess your undying affection to a man who only saw you as an employee.

aaron sighs.

“what happened to you?”

you frowned.

“what do you mean?”

“im a profiler, yn. its my job to notice behavior. you’ve been—you’ve been weird lately.”

“aaro—hotch,” you cleared your throat. “im just trying to be professional.”

“professional?”

you nod. “setting boundaries. im just someone you pay to take care of jack. i adore that kid more than anything and i like my job. love it! i don’t wanna lose that.” you state.

“and you won’t. jack loves you too. you’re the second closest thing he has to a parent. so whatever is going on i promise you won’t lose your job.”

you took a deep breath.

“i guess—as cliche as this is gonna sound—i read too much into our relationship. i—i developed a silly little crush and i got the message that it was all in my head.” you felt a weight being lifted from your shoulders as you admitted the truth.

aaron hums. he grabs you hand and caresses it gently.

“it wasn’t .” aaron whispered.

you look at him completely shocked.

“im not good at this, yn. haven’t been since haley passed. i—i tried to move on but it just, it never felt right. with you, it’s easy to talk to. i haven’t felt that in a really long time and i don’t wanna fuck it up. i care about you and so does jack. in the end, if this doesn’t work, it affects my son. i don’t want him to lose someone else i bring into our lives. it’s why i brought that woman home. i was trying to get you out of my system but it backfired extremely. i—i don’t wanna lie, i kept picturing you. even almost said your name.” aaron admitted with a smirk. you blushed.

“oh—”

aaron chuckles. “i want to see where this goes. i do! i just want to make sure that jack doesn’t get hurt in the process.”

you shake your head. “i guarantee that jack will be my main priority. even if—even if we don’t work out. he means more to me than anything, aaron.”

aaron nods approvingly.

“id like to take you out. normally we’re free weekends. how about this upcoming saturday?”

you smile and nod your head a little too enthusiastically.

aaron kisses the back of your hand. “get some sleep, sweetheart. ill see you in the morning.”

you give him another smile before saying goodnight. you wait until he was out of view before squealing silently.

you head upstairs to your bedroom and get some much needed rest. so glad the night ended the way it did.

aaron woke to the smell of bacon. he yawns as he gets out of bed and head straight to the shower. when he gets out and gets ready for work he heads downstairs. he sees his son sitting and enjoying breakfast next to you.

“daddy! yn made bacon. it’s good, daddy.”

aaron smiles at the both of you. “yeah? maybe i should have some.” he takes a piece of bacon from your plate. he playfully smack his hand.

“get your own hotchner!”

aaron smirks at you as he takes a bite of the piece of meat he stole from your plate. jack giggles.

“you and yn made up?”

aaron nods his head. “we did. you sir need to get ready for school.”

“im so excited for school, dad! today is show and tell in miss peas class. gonna bring the necklace mommy made for me.”

aaron smiles.

“why don’t you get ready buddy. gonna take you to school today.”

“not yn?”

aaron shakes his head. “it’s still yn day off. remember she gets two nights, buddy. come on, go get ready.”

“okay!” jack ran upstairs. you get up and put the dirty dishes in the sink. aaron simply turns you around and wraps his hand around your waist.

“i really wanna kiss you.”

“why don’t you?” you whisper.

aaron smirks as he caressed your cheek. he kisses you passionately. you’ve never been kissed like this in a very long time—if ever!—it felt right. you never believed in that silly ‘i felt sparks’ thing until this very moment. it was like fireworks were going off.

aaron pulls away gently. he smiles before kissing the top of your head.

“can’t wait for this weekend.” he whispered.

“neither can i. why does it have to be monday?” you frown. aaron chuckles before pulling away.

he heads jacks footsteps, smiling at his son. “alright buds! time to head out. we don’t wanna be late, yeah?”

“we’re always the first ones there, dad.” jack says matter of factly. he wasn’t wrong. when aaron took him to school he’d get there at six forty five. aaron had to be the first one to arrive at work. he needed to make sure jack was safe and secure in the school building as early as possible before heading to work.

“bye yn. love you!” jack called out. you smiled and waved. “love you too, jack! have a great day at school, buds.”

aaron smiles before waving to you. when they leave you call spencer.

“hey. is everything okay? how was your date?”

“yeah! everything is fine. the date was horrendous.”

“sorry to hear that.”

“don’t be. in the end things worked out.”

“that’s good. what are you not telling me?”

you smile. you weren’t a hundred percent ready to tell spencer anything yet. you wanted to make sure that this really works out.

“nothing. can’t a girl just miss her best friend?! i feel like we rarely talk anymore.”

“yeah. im sorry about that. it’s just—there’s this girl,”

“girl you say? do tell!”

“i met her during a case. i don’t know—she lives in arizona. she’s great! and the commute would be worth it,”

“but?”

“but relationships don’t work for people like us. with out jobs it’s hard, you know? it’s why i stayed single for so long. it’s why hotch and haley ended in divorce. i just don’t think people with our jobs can actually date on a deeper level.” spencer admitted.

you frowned at that confession. “spence, the right girl is out there for you. she—im one thousand percent positive the person you’re meant to be with won’t mind the crazy weird hours you have. as long as you show them exactly how much you love and care for them they’ll understand.”

“you think? it’s just with the job and the distance—”

“im positive!”

“you know you always know what to say to make me feel better.”

“that’s what im here for. we should hang out soon though. i miss hearing my brother spill some weird fact that could probably save my life or even start a conversation.”

spencer laughs. “the team should be free this weekend. why don’t we get together saturday?”

“i can do saturday evening. is that okay?”

“yeah! i should get going though. hotch is probably already in his office and i have to ask him something. thanks for calling. i love you.”

“love you too, spence! have fun catching the bad guy.” you ended the call before getting ready for the day.

[corruptedhyena]

hello to the like 3 people who have been waiting for Bindertales

im so sorry, the next 2 pages are done dw but it's in progress ;w;

in the meantime HELLO NEIGHBOR AGAIN IM SO SORRY the new episodes are making me scream again so please give me a moment to share some doodles whilst i share my thoughts.

SEASON 2 SPOILERS INCOMING!!

firstly, my favorite part of the series: Trinity and Nicky's friendship! i'm really not a fan of romance plots so i ADORE that they aren't trying anything with these two, just leaving it to mosty one-sided Enzo.

so, when the teasers showed an almost direct parallel of Nicky leading Trinity into Peterson's house by giving us a shot of Trinity leading Nicky, it really got my hopes up!! it thankfully didn't disappoint too horribly, but damn if it isn't painful to watch Trinity go from "yeah Nicky you've been through a lot huh ): " in episode 1 to "c'mon dude you're the one who told me to be brave, why are you being so scared???" it was a bit AAAAA

thankfully, it does seem somewhat purposeful, as she is still a kid and seems to be doing her best to help Nicky the way he helped her be brave, it's just really backfiring. as seen when she's taken home from school in ep 2, she's clearly worried about him and is very much aware something is going on, so it's not like there's some sorta character betrayal! i really hope they'll have a chance to really talk things out and reach an understanding. OR AT LEAST JUST GIVE NICKY A HUG FOR FUCK'S SAKE POOR BOY, THAT CLIFFHANGER HURTS SO MUCH OML

I LOVE SIBLING CONTENT PLEASE GIVE US MORE!! some of my favorite bits of background detail in s1 are Maritza's reactions to Enzo being a simp. she's such an asshole and i love her for it. she's also still acting as the greatest voice of the straight man, which is a breath of fresh air sometimes among the children playing detective during MULTIPLE MURDERS AND ACTS OF ARSON!!!

speaking of, why the hell did Mrs. Bales immediately get suspicious of the LITERAL CHILDREN who were OUTSIDE during the housefire? especially since she herself said her outlet blew? i understand stories following kids have to find a way to write out the parents sometimes, but it's just baffling that it was handled so well in s1 compared to s2. and they also jump on the anti-Nicky train? did they not literally witness that child escape from Peterson's after their daughter told them he was kidnapped weeks ago????? DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND THIS IS A LITERAL CHILD WHO JUST GOT TRAUMATIZED AND WHOSE PARENTS WERE SAID TO BE HARD TO CONTACT??!?!?!?!

i'm

far less agonized, i just thought about how in the world Peterson hid among gravestones as a grown-ass man during Trinity's story in s1, and thought it'd be funny if, as i draw him, he pretended to be a bush behind a gravestone. hunched up so his body's behind the stone and the big flumf of his mane and tail stuck out. logically, a flashlight would catch the red of it despite the dark, but cartoon logic could hand-wave it away.

in terms of s2 thoughts with him, it's cool to see his backstory! i'm still pretty much in the dark when it comes to the whole Hello Neighbor lore, as i only saw gameplay of the alphas and never heard the intended storyline, but i did see that last Matpat video! i can't wait to see what's up with his brother being the shadow guy (i think) and why he's terrorizing Nicky. i'm betting it's not a malicious thing, that maybe he's trying to make contact or keep him safe, considering the flashback! and it seems like the grown-up bullies might be the ones behind the kids' disappearances and Crowface, though i'm not quite as confident about that one. i just know a lot of the adults are suspicious and i think it's a red herring that there's supposedly a secret neighbor. i think it's all of them, and Peterson knows.

still doesn't excuse kidnapping and traumatizing Nicky tho

thanks to anyone who reads this rambling mess, i just have a lot of thoughts about this show and don't have anyone i know who's caught up or into it (:

[th3sp4rr0w]

Day Nineteen

A03 Link <- Starts at Chapter/Day One for those just joining us :))

Prompts For Day Nineteen Taken For Granted/Left Behind/”Why Wasn’t I Enough?”

Alt. Prompt For Day Nineteen Hypnosis 

Prompts Used for Day Nineteen "Why Wasn't I Enough?"

Tw's; Vomit, Guns, Injury Mention

Chapter Nineteen under the cut :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summertime was always fun. Getting ice cream, hanging out with friends, having no responsibilities for three months; it was a break from the monotonous routine of going to school, dealing with people that hated him for seven straight hours, coming home to do work and doing it all over again.

The best part about summer was having time to spend with his mom. Going to different places just to stargaze, getting to see different parts of the world while hunting for ghosts? Even if his parents could be annoying sometimes, it was fine. All he really had to do was get past Jazz and everything would be alright.

Like right now! After the Fenton-Portal didn’t work, they were preparing for a trip out of state to go to different conventions and see if they can figure out what was going on with it so they could fix it. They might even be back in time for his birthday.

He heard his phone ring from the stand. He turned and answered it; it was glitching slightly, he’d have to have Tucker look at it if it didn’t fix itself.

“Hey, Danny speaking. Talk to me,” he greeted.

There was horrible, wet coughing on the other end of the line. “Danny,” Tucker said and sniffed, “We hanging out today?”

He winced. “Dude, even if I weren’t packing for a trip right now, I wouldn’t hang with you. You sound awful, what’s up?”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just so cold right now.”

His voice sounded off, but not sick-off. He wondered if he did something to his throat; his voice sounded a lot deeper. The words caught up to him and he frowned. “Dude, what are you talking about? I’m melting over here,” he replied as he wiped beads of sweat from his forehead.

Tucker groaned. “No, I’m like, so cold right now dude,” he said. Danny laughed a bit.

“You’re sick, man. Go get some sleep, I’ll call Sam and let her know. I’m sure she’ll bring you something.”

“Ugh, veggie crap,” he sniffed. “I want Nasty Burger.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Goodbye, Tucker,” he said into the receiver and hung up.

He went to put his phone in his pocket when he saw something in the reflection. Giving a little “huh?”, he went to check again. There was a soft knock on the door.

He turned around. “Yeah?”

Jazz walked in with some pancakes. “I figured you’d want something before we have to live off protein bars and stuff that really shouldn’t count as fruit,” she joked.

Her voice was slightly off, too. It was almost like she had an... echo?

“Thanks, Jazz,” he said, grabbing the plate from her. He swore he could still hear someone talking. “Are mom and dad down stairs?”

“Yeah, they’re finishing putting up the last of the defenses against ghosts. You know how they are.”

He nodded and shrugged. “Yeah, they’re a bit... eccentric,” he said.

She snorted. “Did you hear that they determined that ghosts don’t have digestive systems because any food they give them disappears?”

He raised an eyebrow. “That’s dumb, maybe they just process it a different way? Also, since when are you interested in this crap?”

She frowned. “I...”

“Jazzerincess! Danno! It’s time to go, are you kids done packing-” Jack called from downstairs, devolving into a coughing fit. They heard Maddie offer him a tissue.

Something about it made his insides go cold for just a few moments before he shook it off. The oppressive heat immediately took its place again. Today was shaping up to be weirder than usual. “Almost done dad!” he shouted back.

He looked at Jazz, stuffing his phone in his pocket so he could grab a still-warm pancake. “Thanks, Jazz,” he said. “I’ve gotta finish up packing before dad chokes on his own saliva again and we never get out of here.”

She giggled and left.

Assuming the voices he could hardly hear were his parents', he finished packing. Occasionally, he thought he could see something out of the corner of his eye. He assumed it was nothing. He ate bits of pancake as he went.

He carried his bags downstairs. He‘d sensibly packed a backpack of the essentials and a smaller backpack of consoles, chargers, and books to keep himself occupied in the car and whatever hotels or campsites they stopped at. He had headphones with him. He thought of everything.

He cursed. He’d almost forgotten to grab his toothbrush.

He set the bags on the couch and ran back upstairs, waving to Jazz as he went. There was a weird show on TV showing a boy eating soup in some sort of room with a hospital bed. There was another boy next to him laying down.

He slid into the bathroom, almost crashing into the bathtub as he did. He wrenched open the cabinet before he could think about it too hard, grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste to go back down the stairs so they could leave.

He shook his head. He thought he saw something weird.

He grabbed his small bag, putting the toothbrush and toothpaste in the side pocket and started to head for the car. The sun beat down on them from above, causing more beads of sweat to drip down his face uncomfortably and make him regret his choice of not going to go stay with Tucker while they did this. Tucker and Sam both had air conditioning.

He thought of the thick cough his friend had this morning. On second thought, he was glad he didn’t stay with him; he didn’t want whatever disease Tucker had contracted.

They piled into the car and started driving down the road. He picked up the copy of Pride and Prejudice Jazz lent him for the trip and started reading.

“Danny, sweetie, why don’t you put some sunscreen on?”

He frowned. “Not right now, mom,” he said.

She huffed. “Why don’t you at least have some soup?”

He frowned. “Soup?”

She tried to shove a thermos in his face. “Come on, sweetie, for me?”

He curled up on himself. “Mom, I don’t want to get souped again,” he said. “Remember the last time I ate soup in the car?”

“Danny, just take the soup so she’ll leave you alone,” Jazz said, grabbing the thermos and shoving it in his hands.

He took a drink. It tasted like piss; he gagged slightly. He noticed his mom and Jazz staring at him expectantly. 

“It’s hot,” he said. It was; it burned as he drank.

“Good. Drink it,” his mom said.

He rolled his eyes. He drank as much of the soup as he could, just so she’s stop.

The lingering taste twisted his stomach. As the car moved forward it got worse.

He tried to focus on the book. He hummed under his breath. They’d probably get mad at him if another soup incident began.

He watched as Jazz downed some soup of her own. He didn’t know how she could stand it; the heat was building up in the GAV. He knew better than to ask to turn on the air conditioning; his parents were strict about where and when they turned it on. It was one of the few things that was non-negotiable.

He was beginning to think he was right to put the tank-top on but was sorely regretting wearing sweatpants.

His gut twisted. He jerked in his seat. “Pull over."

“What-”

“Pull over!”

His dad pulled over as he allowed Jazz to take the book. He pulled off his seat belt, opening his door and leaning out.

He could feel Jazz rubbing his back and whispering something to him. It was weird; her voice almost sounded like Tucker’s had earlier.

His mom forced some water into his mouth. He obediently swallowed.

They sat there for a moment, Danny collapsing into the seat. He thought he could vaguely hear a Tick, Tick, Tick, somewhere in the car. Another roll of nausea waved through him.

His gut cramped painfully as he retched, Jazz once again rubbing his back. He thought he could feel someone’s hand in his hair, but he couldn’t decipher who’s.

His mom handed him a tissue to wipe his mouth with when he was done.

They got back on the road, Jazz helping to prop him up using some of the pillows she’d brought. She leaned him over to rest his head on her shoulder.

He almost let the lull of the road put him to sleep. He closed his eyes and let the motion soothe him; he warned them not to give him soup on the road. This was exactly what happened last time he was given soup in the car.

He rubbed his eyes, cleaning out the crusty bits trying to glue them together. Jazz absently kept petting his head. He stared at his dad’s seat.

The driving was too smooth. It was almost like his dad actually knew how to drive; it was nice, and not that he wanted to question it, but it worried him. Jack had never been able to drive this well.

It was like he’d been replaced. He looked around.

He thought he saw something white at the edge of his vision. What was-

They pulled into a truck stop as he started questioning himself. He shook his head; he always got way too car sick on these long trips, especially when he was hot. The soup hadn’t helped. The taste in the back of his throat didn’t help the nausea that still lingered in his stomach.

“What happened to him?” He heard someone ask as they got out of the car.

“He got carsick,” Maddie replied, looking at the person with a protective glare.

Their face scrunched up. “How’d you deal with that in the car?”

“We pulled over,” she stated flatly.

They scoffed. “Figures. Parents these days are much too soft on their misbehaving children.”

“You listen here-”

“Mads! You and Danno comin’?” Jack called. When they turned back, the person was gone.

They shook it off, Maddie helping Danny into the truck stop. When they got inside, she encouraged him to go to his dad.

He almost tripped, Jack catching him and smiling down. “You okay, champ?” he asked.

Danny nodded. He opened his mouth and frowned. He could swear he heard something.

“... Ghosts parading around as teenagers. Don’t be fooled-"

He looked around. “What was-”

Jack started tugging him to the bathroom. “Come on, Danno, let’s get you cleaned up.”

He followed his father on unsteady feet. The more he looked around, the weirder it was getting. Most of the people around them were wearing white; White hoodies and sweats, white blouses with white jeans, white dresses. It was starting to freak him out.

They went into the bathroom. He went into a stall, trying to calm down. What was going on? What was happening here?

He took several deep breaths, trying to gather his thoughts. Sweat dripped down his neck, soaking his tank. He felt wet in places that he didn’t know he could sweat; it felt like he’s had an accident on his way here.

He really wished he’d had the forethought to wear shorts. He wasn’t even sure where they were going, but wherever it was, it was just getting warmer.

He heard someone knock on the stall door. He figured that was as good of a sign as anything that he’d been in here too long and to get out.

He opened the door and got out, going towards a sink. He turned on the cold water and thought about it for a second as it ran.

He stuck his hand under the cold stream. He was going to splash his face, but couldn’t quite get the motions down. Desperate for any sort of relief from the heat, he stuck his head under the faucet.

“Danny?” He heard his dad ask. “You okay there, buddy?”

He didn’t respond. The cold was a blessing on his flushed skin. He already felt like his head was clearing.

Tick, Tick, Tick

Someone had an annoyingly loud watch. He decided he didn’t want to know who, staying under the stream for what was probably longer than necessary.

He went up for air for just a moment before going back to the stream. He wanted to stick his whole body in the sink but didn’t think that would be a very pleasant thing to do to the rest of the people in the small space.

He felt his dad’s hand on his shoulder. “Okay, champ, that’s enough,” he said. He held the whine that tried to escape his chest back by the skin of his teeth; it was like finally getting a glass of water after years without it, and somebody coming along and saying you’d had too much. He almost wrenched himself from his father’s grasp to go back underneath the cool stream.

Jack helped him dry off with paper towels. He felt more balanced as they walked back to the car, even as he mourned the cold stream of the sink.

The walk felt longer than it had when they were going to the bathroom. He figured he’d been more out of it before, and now he could appreciate it.

… Assuming you could appreciate a sea of white like this. He didn’t know what was up with that. Oh well; it’s not like his own tank top wasn’t white. It was a hot day, after all. That must be it.

As they walked, he got the distinct feeling of something just being... wrong.

Tick, Tick, Tick

He turned. Nothing. He took a deep breath. He was fine; it was just hot. The heat was getting to him, consuming him whole. That’s all. A cold drink and getting his parents to turn on the AC would fix everything.

His mom and Jazz were already waiting by the car, holding drinks when they got there. His dad opened his door for him, making sure he was in the car completely before closing with a distinct slam. It almost sounded like someone closing the lab door a bit too hard. Everybody got settled before putting on seatbelts and starting the GAV.

He looked around at Maddie and Jazz, waiting patiently for them to begin to pass out drinks. He hoped they got him ice-cold water.

He could see it in his mom’s hand. He waited patiently, not willing to risk his chance of getting them to put on the ac. He could feel sweat still dripping down his back as he waited.

He picked up the book, feeling good enough to go back to reading. He was getting to the good part where Elizabeth finally talked to Mr. Darcy about George Wickham. He was never one to reread a book to hunt for the finer details, but something about this book-

Hang on... when did he first read Pride and Prejudice ? He tried to think back, combing over his education. He normally wasn’t one to read for fun. He opened his mouth to ask Jazz when she read it in school, only for his mom to make a noise.

“Oh! I’m sorry, guys, I forgot to pass out drinks,” she said, turning around and handing Danny and Jazz their waters.

He tore into his easily, making sure not to lose his place in the book. Jazz grabbed it from his lap. He thanked her before tilting his head back, drinking the cold water greedily. It soothed something in his chest, cooling him down and making him feel more human.

When he was done, he asked if they could turn on the ac. His mom twisted to look at him, Jazz giving him the same look.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” She asked, pressing her hand to his forehead. She frowned. “You’re really warm. Baby, it’s not that hot in here.”

“What are you talking about?” He asked. “It’s boiling; I feel like I’m melting,” he complained.

Jazz grabbed his shoulder. “Danny, it’s really not that hot in here. Do you need us to stop the car? You drank your water pretty fast-”

“No, I’m not nauseous,” he said instead. “I’m fine. It’s just hot, can we turn on the ac?”

His dad looked at him through the rear-view mirror, “We’ll stop to get you something else cold to drink soon, champ. This ac isn’t going on; you might be hot, but the rest of us are fine,” he said, not unkindly.

He didn’t protest any more. He knew better than that; if he pushed, it’d just get his dad mad and, although the man wouldn’t mean to, his driving would become more erratic than it normally was and he’d nearly crash the car again. Considering they were in the GAV, a lot more damage could be done, and he really didn’t want to know how that would play out.

His nose ran a bit. He wiped it, taking a tissue from his mom and putting it in the bag she’d brought for their trash. He cracked his wrists, which had become stiff for... whatever reason. Especially his left. He moved his fingers; they felt stiff and borderline unusable. Cracking the knuckles didn’t help.

He took the book back from Jazz. Where was he again?

Ah, yes, the absolute drama fest Elizabeth had created for herself by not taking warnings as they came.

He smiled a bit. At least she wasn’t Jane; oh, that girl would drive him crazy. He wondered what her father would do in real life to that man. He knew his dad would NOT have stood for that sort of behavior from any suitor of Jazz’s.

He shook his head. Maybe he was getting too into this. Ah, well. What else was he going to do? His wrist felt too stiff for videogames right now.

Tick, Tick, Tick

The car slowed down. He hadn’t realized just how much time had passed; they were in some sort of desert. “Okay, everybody out,” Jack said.

They began getting out of the GAV. His mom grabbed the tents, beginning to set them up. He watched her; she was completely dry as he sweat through his clothes. He felt absolutely soaked.

He thought about putting one of Jazz’s blankets up on the open doors to create a privacy barrier to change behind, but he decided against it. He’d just sweat through those too.

He spotted a door.

Tick, Tick, Tick

He went towards it. He didn’t hear anyone call him back as he went to the door in the middle of nowhere. He wondered what it was doing out there.

He opened it easily. He looked back. He normally didn’t act on these sorts of impulses, but something was wrong. He could feel it. He needed to do this.

He walked through the door, coming to a winding path of halls. He began to walk. Occasionally, he’d see little glowing markers. He went down those hallways; he had a feeling they were important. He couldn’t explain it; it was like something was leading him to something big.

He looked around at the emerald-colored floors. The trim was intricate; it looked like someone had hand-carved it, taking hours of work just to hang here. He had the feeling it would’ve been an honor to have completed a project like that. The tapestries that hung on the walls had the same vibe; it was like they were made specifically for these granite walls.

He had the distinct feeling he’d been here before but couldn’t place when. It was like thinking back to a dream you’d had years before. He looked around.

Occasionally he’d see beautiful statues made from expensive-looking material. He had no idea where he was, but it felt like he’d seen them before. He frowned, trying to think. His breathing was harsh, even though he hadn’t done much actual exercise. He tried to wrack his brain.

He heard voices. He checked the glowing markers; they went straight to the voices. He understood the language, though he didn’t think he’d ever heard it before.

“Mother, why must I learn about this?”

“Because you will need to know soon, darling,” a woman answered.

He peaked his head around the threshold. He saw a woman and a child sitting on an expensive-looking bed with silky sheets.

“Mother, I promise I am ready-”

“Darling, I know you are ready for combat. I want your life to have more than that.”

Danny stepped further into view. Both of their heads snapped towards him. The woman furrowed her brow as the child grabbed a knife from under the pillow.

“INTRUDER!” He shouted, starting to lunge at him.

“Darling, stop,” the woman murmured.

She walked up to him. She was beautiful. She was vaguely familiar; why was everything so familiar-

“Habibi,” she said. Darling, his mind supplied. “What are you doing in this place? How did you get here?”

He opened his mouth to tell her of his parents and their road trip. He couldn’t get the words out. Instead, he stammered out, “I- I’m not sure.”

She placed a hand on his cheek. “You are very flushed,” she said. She turned over her shoulder.

“Darling, go get a servant. Ask them, nicely, to bring me some cold water.”

He nodded seriously. “Yes, mother.”

He started running as fast as his small feet would carry him.

The woman turned back to him. “Jason, your father is incredibly worried for you. Where did you come from?”

He was more confused than he was before. “My name is Danny,” he said.

The woman looked more concerned. “Habibi, what do you speak of?”

The feeling that had been building made his stomach roll. “I think we’re in trouble,” he muttered, almost collapsing.

She caught him easily. “Who is ‘we’, habibi?”

He licked his lips. “Me and Jason.”

She sat him down. “Explain.”

He tried to think. “I-I think, we’re being held... captive?”

She nodded. “I heard the same rumor. Where are you?”

He closed his eyes. He tried to think. “It hurts,” he whimpered. He felt her cup his cheek, stroking his hair.

“I know. Describe where you are, habibi, so we can help you and Jason.”

“... White. White room.”

“Good, good, what about the people?”

His breath hitched. “White suit.”

He opened his eyes. His gaze caught a mirror. If he turned his head right...

“She’s giving him soup.”

The woman looked at him. “What?”

“The- the lady. She’s giving him soup,” he repeated.

He vaguely registered her looking to follow his gaze. “You see him? In the mirror?”

“Yes,” he said. “She had two bowls... I don’t know why- I think she’s getting me something cold.”

“Can you hear them?”

He shook his head slightly. “I think I could before. I couldn’t hear them this time.”

She hummed. “Why did they take you?”

He made a pained noise. “I... I can’t remember. Everything’s wrong. I can’t think-”

“Shh,” she soothed. “It’s alright, habibi. Just relax,” she rubbed his shoulder. “Try to think. What happened when they took you?”

He tried to think. It was like trying to remember a past life.

“They don’t like us.”

He heard her hum again. “You’re doing well,” she said. She rubbed his cheek. “Habibi, why don’t they like you and Jason?”

He felt something painful in his wrist. “They don’t think we’re human.”

She blinked. “What does that mean, habibi?”

He tried to remember. Why didn’t they think he was human again? He felt pretty human right now.

“I...” he trailed off. “She’s back.”

The small child the woman had sent out earlier came back, a cup of cold water in his hand. “Mother, I could not find a servant, so I did the task myself.”

She gently took the water from him. “Thank you, darling. Can you leave us for a few moments?”

He looked like he wanted to pout. “Yes, mother,” he said instead, leaving the room once more.

She held the glass to Danny’s lips at the same time the boy, Jason, held a spoon to his. The cold was soothing, filling his body with relief. The water only soothed for a few seconds.

The woman holding him in her arms tried to ask a question, but he couldn’t hear her. He realized it was the cold broth that soothed his insides. He shook with effort, trying to get his body to hold the spoon.

He got it. He began to watch himself spoon it into his mouth and swallow. With each mouth full, he felt better. He looked at the woman.

“She came back. She gave me cold broth,” he whispered. His face scrunched in concentration. “I don’t think she’s nice. She’s better than the rest, but she feels... weird.”

The woman smoothed over his hair. “Habibi, I know it’s hard, but can you remember anything else?”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t remember why they wanted him, or why his body felt like it was on fire. He couldn’t identify the feeling in his chest.

“I don’t,” he said, “I’m sorry. I-”

He got an idea. He grabbed her wrist. “My name is Daniel James Fenton,” he said. “Please. Please, look into them. Jack and Maddie, my parents. I- I think-”

He thought of the portal that didn’t work. Was it always like that? Hadn’t it been active? He couldn’t remember very much.

“You think what, habibi?” she asked, not unkindly.

“I think they have something to do with this.”

His eyes stared at nothing. Memories slammed into him, one after another. His eyes welled up.

“I wasn’t good enough for them,” he said. Tears began streaming down his face.

“For whom, habibi?”

“For them,” he emphasized. “They don’t love me anymore. They think I killed him,” he cried.

“Killed who?” She asked franticly.

“Danny,” he said. “They think I killed Danny-”

Memories flooded him. They came too fast for him to explain.

“I hurt him,” he cried. “I hurt Dash, they yelled, they found out-”

“Found what out, habibi? You need to slow down; I do not understand.”

He couldn’t. Slow down, that is. The memory of the worst day of his life snatched his breath. He screamed.

His body began glowing in a familiar pattern, going from the center of his palm to just above his heart on his chest. It tore into him, consumed everything; any rational thought he’d had before.

Tick, Tick, Tick

The woman tried to help him; he could vaguely hear her yelling something above his head.

He knew it was too late. Something inside of him told him so.

When the pain subsided just a bit, he looked at her. “It’s the GIW!” he yelled.

She snapped her head at him. “What?!”

“It’s the-”

He disappeared from her grasp. He tried to hang onto her clothing as he was snatched from her grasp; it did not work.

He was slammed back into his body besides Jason, his arm aching from the center of his-

That’s right. He looked at his half-formed hand, shaking. The pain wrapped around his wrist like a cuff, feeling like it was cutting off the circulation. He half expected to look down and find it purple.

He nearly fell off the bed. Jason caught him, trying to calm him down. “Dude,” he said, “Phantom! Phantom, what’s-”

Tears flowed down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he said pathetically.

The other boy laughed slightly. “For what?”

“I couldn’t- I tried-”

Jason took him in his arms, rubbing his back. “Hey, breathe,” he said softly, “You’re not making much sense. You need to calm down, Phantom,” he said.

His body convulsed. He sobbed into the other boy’s shoulder.

“I wasn’t good enough,” he cried. “I’m sorry, I tried- I tried to tell her,”

“Shhh,” he replied, rocking him softly. “You need to calm down,” he said.

Danny looked up at him pathetically, another round of violent sobs overtaking him.

Jason, the saint he was, rolled with it. He soothed him as best as he could, rubbing down his back and shoulders. Eventually, he calmed down enough to have some semblance of having his life together. The tears stopped. He opened his mouth to tell him what he’d just seen.

The jingle of keys caught their attention. They looked towards the door, seeing an agent they’d interacted with before.

“Come on, maggots,” he said severely. “I’ve been told to take you to the bathroom.”

They followed him. Jason took his good hand in his. They followed the agent to the bathroom, trailing slightly behind as much as they could. Jason rubbed circles into his flesh as they walked.

When they got there, he went for the sink. He turned on the cold water, splashing it over himself. Once he felt like he cooled down as much as he could, he went to the stall to use the bathroom.

He had no idea if that was a real thing he’d seen or if he was just hallucinating. He thought it might not matter; whatever just happened, it’s not like he’d actually given the woman anything useful. Even if he had, what would she have done?

It was probably just his subconscious trying to soothe itself. His parents loving him, taking care of him like they used to; it was probably just a fever-induced dream. He shouldn’t read too much into it.

False hope was going to hurt more if he allowed it to. He knew there was nobody coming; his friends could easily track his ecto-signature, and he still hadn’t heard anything from Ellie. They probably cut their losses.  

That was fine. He’d been the placeholder all his life; he should’ve known that, eventually, Sam and Tucker would also move on. He’d always been someone that filled the space until someone better came along. It was his fault if he was hurt that they’d finally gone and done that very thing.

Jason looked at him, concerned. He washed his hands and bent down, drinking straight from the tap. He allowed the cold to run through his veins and cool him down; his head felt clear. He felt like he could think. He’d probably still tell Jason about it; it was just a dream he’d had when he wasn’t in his right mind.

Jason handed him a bottle. He smiled at him and filled it with cold water. He could see Jason filling his with warm. He vaguely remembered that Jason was sensitive to the cold.

He wondered why they had different temperature needs. He wondered what Jason’s core was like. He might check that out when they got to the room; he wouldn’t want to try anything in the bathroom in case someone walked in on them.

When they were about to leave, he got an idea. He took his tank top off, running it under the cold tap. Jason watched him as he wrung it out and put it back on.

“Smart,” he muttered.

Thanks,” he replied.

They made sure the bottles were in Jason’s hoodie pocket before they left. They walked back down the halls, the twists and turns melting together and giving him a low-grade headache.

When they got into the room, the agent shut the door and locked it. Jason looked at him before giving him his water.

He thanked him quietly. They looked at each other for a few minutes.

“All right,” he said eventually, “I’ll bite. Phantom, what was that earlier?”

He took a deep breath before explaining. “I don’t know, man,” he said finally, “I think my brain just likes fucking with me. ‘Why couldn’t you be good enough for your parents, you piece of shit? Huh? You a little bitch boy?’” he mocked.

Jason snorted at him. “I don’t think it’s stupid, if it makes you feel better. That is weird, though. I wonder what was up with the rich people shit.”

He shrugged. “Maybe it was me associating one of my friends with safety? Her parents are rich as shit.”

Jason shrugged again. “Who knows? Brains are weird,” he said. “And if it makes you feel better,” he said getting close and booping him on the nose, “You’re more than good enough for me. You’re my brother, you hear? If anything, they’re not good enough for you.”

He smiled a bit. “Thanks, Ja-”

“Cardinal. Code names, remember?”

“Shoot, that dream has me more fucked up than I realized,” he said. “Sorry, Cardinal. Thank you.”

He waved him off. “You’re okay, man.”

He linked their pinkies together. They sat in silence for a few minute before he suddenly perked up. “By the way,” he said.

Danny looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

He saw the other boy take a deep breath. He looked over to the door before going under his hoodie and into his belt. He could hear two ‘Snap! Snap!’s before he pulled out his hand.

He blinked. “Cardinal. What am I looking at?”

When he looked back up, the other boy was smiling guiltily at him. “I stole this earlier,” he said lowly and held out the watch. “And I may have took this from the van?”

He held out a gun. It was smaller than any of the ones he’d seen before. He sighed. “Cardinal-”

“I know, I should’ve mentioned this way earlier, but I didn’t know how to bring it up,” he said.

He took it gently. He inspected it. “Okay, I haven’t seen this model before,” he said, “But I think I can figure it out. This-” he pointed to the cartridge, “Is where they put vials of ectoplasm.”

He watched Jason nod.

“This one’s empty,” he said, It looks like they discarded it for some reason. I don’t think it’s broken, but I can take a look when my hand regrows.”

He watched Jason take a deep breath. “Do you think we could rig it up to take ectoplasm from our bodies to fuel it?”

He blinked. He brought his left hand up, stroking his chin with what was formed. “Maybe. I’ve never thought of doing it like that before.”

Jason nodded. “It doesn’t need to be perfect,” he said. “It just needs to vaguely work.”

He nodded. “I can probably do that. We might need to steal some material, though,” he contemplated.

“Done. Just let me know and we’ll keep an eye out.”

He grinned. He loved having someone so on board with his plans.

“I think we can get away with using some scalpels as tools,” he said.

“I have a lock picking kit on me, do you think those’ll work?”

He shrugged. “What do they look like?”

Jason took the kit out of his belt. Danny took it from him gently, looking it over. “Yeah, these might be able to unscrew something,” he said.

He helped the boy pack it all up and away in his belt. “I think we’ll need... man, I wonder if they have some sort of specter deflector?”

“What?”

“Something that deflects ghosts,” he explained.

Jason shrugged. “I’d assume so?”

They talked lowly for a few more minutes, going over ideas. Eventually, Jason took the blue journal from the ceiling, tossing it down to Danny.

Sketching ideas was fun. There was still an undercurrent of hurt in his chest.

He didn’t think he’d ever understand why he wasn’t good enough for his mom. Why they disowned him so quick; the hatred in his father’s eyes.

It was a look he hadn’t seen even on the agent’s faces. He looked over to Jason.

He couldn’t imagine doing something like that to him. Or to Ellie, or Jazz, or Tucker and Sam. He didn’t think he’d ever understand why, or how, his parents could do it to him. It was like they didn’t even have to think about it; they’d done it as easily as breathing.

At least he had Jason. He’d had the dream woman. From what Jason said, he’d probably have the Bat too, when they met; apparently, he was in the early stages of an adoption addiction, and Jason was already planning on making it worse by getting him to adopt the neighbor.

They put the journal away before they lay on the cot. They could think about this more tomorrow.

He was still unnaturally warm, but he’d been getting steadily better. He hoped that was a good sign.

He cuddled up to Jason. He hoped the dream was some sort of sign they were going to survive. That there were still people out there looking for them.

He suddenly felt silly for feeling like his friends and sisters forgot about him. Of course, they hadn’t.

After all, he didn’t forget about them just because he had Jason. He just had to be patient.

He just had to survive a little longer.

[tinyinvadr]

Here we go, the final chapter of Psychoborrower (I actually finished a fic yay)! It’s kind of short, but just wrapping things up. I might do a few one shots about Flint’s first week at camp, and then next will be Rhombus of Ruin!

Psychoborrower

Epilogue

I was up early the next morning. Or, early compared to Sasha, at least. He was so tired, he didn’t even make it to bed. He just fell asleep right at his workbench. Though, that wasn’t too out of the ordinary for him. Sometimes I think he works too hard.

Raz showed up in the lab shortly after I woke up. He asked if I wanted to hang out around camp before he had to leave, so of course, I took him up on it. After all, there was a good chance I’d never see him or this place ever again.

After we left the lab, he took notice of my change in mood.

“So… have you decided what you’re gonna do?”

I sighed. “Yeah… Sasha said to think it over and weigh all my options, but I’m really not sure what other choice I have. I’m a monster if I don’t go home and tell them what happened, but… I don’t…”

“You don’t wanna go back there.”

I nodded. It felt horrible and selfish to admit it, but my mind was completely at odds with itself. I didn’t want to hurt my family, but I also didn’t want to sacrifice my happiness and sense of self just to please them.

We both went quiet. Raz didn’t have any ideas, so we silently accepted that this was the way things had to be. I hated to bring his mood down, especially since he was looking forward to having one final fun day at camp without any evil plot to get in the way. And I wanted that, too, but it was hard to even think about having fun when I knew it would all be over in a matter of hours.

My train of thought was disrupted by a sudden blinding flash of light.

“Ugh, the faces you guys made look weird! This can’t go in my scrapbook!”

Lili snuck up on us with a Polaroid camera and took our picture. Why she was expecting it to look good when we were both clearly depressed and she caught us off guard with that flash, I have no idea.

Raz sighed. “We’re not really in the mood right now, Lili.”

“Aw, come on, please? Everyone’s gonna be in it, and you guys are basically the heroes of camp!”

She went on to explain how she always made a scrapbook for her dad every year, since he was the Grand Head of the Psychonauts and liked to keep up to date on the progress of the new generation of psychics.

Then, an idea hit me.

“Lili, this might be a lot to ask since you’re already making one, but could you help me make my own scrapbook to send home to my parents? Maybe if they see how happy I am here, they’ll understand why being psychic is so important to me.”

“Sure! I bet you can convince them if we get everyone at camp involved. We’re all rooting for you, Flint.”

Just as she said that, Bobby passed by behind her.

“I’m not!”

“Shut up, Bobby!” We both snapped.

So, the rest of the day was spent snapping pictures with everyone, and then cutting and pasting them together. Probably the only normal summer camp activity to ever occur at Whispering Rock, and arts and crafts wasn’t even on the schedule.

I was hesitant to interact with the other campers at first, but it was… nice. It finally felt like I was a regular kid for once. Of course, I was right about them having a lot of questions, but Raz and Lili were great about moving things along and keeping me from getting too overwhelmed by all the attention.

We were almost finished with the scrapbook when all of the campers were called to the reception area. Coach Oleander wanted to publicly apologize to everyone and thank Raz and I for setting him straight. I had confidence he could turn things around for himself. At the end of the day, he really wasn’t a bad person at heart.

He invited us to join him on the stage, and Ford took over from there.

“I would like to take a moment to recognize the accomplishments of two very promising students here. Against all odds, they were able to put aside their differences, face their fears, and use their powers for the greater good. Here at Whispering Rock, we teach our students to strengthen their minds. But the true marker of a Psychonaut in the making is strength of heart. You both have gone above and beyond these past few days, and it’s for that reason that I’d like to ask you something we don’t normally offer to campers…”

I held my breath. I knew what was coming, but I was still in disbelief. Then, any remaining doubts I had left disappeared when Ford held out two uniforms, one of which was perfectly scaled to fit me.

“Would you like to join the Psychonauts?”

Neither of us could contain our excitement. We were both practically jumping up and down, and it’s a miracle I didn’t end up falling off Raz’s shoulder. Everything I’d been working towards finally paid off, and it felt better than I ever could’ve imagined.

Not only was I finally being recognized as a true Psychonaut, but I felt like I finally found my place in the world. I had friends, a family, even, and they accepted every part of me. The borrower me, the psychic me, and just me in general. I had nothing left to hide, and that feeling is something I will never let myself forget.

“In that case, let’s all welcome the newest members of the Psychonauts, Razputin Aquato and Flint Loveseat!”

All of the campers clapped and cheered for us, but underneath it, I noticed Raz chuckle.

“Loveseat?”

“You’re one to talk, Aquato.”

Later that day, Lili finished up the scrapbook, and left me to look through it with Phoebe. Given the fact that I was born and raised in the walls of her house and I hitched a ride with her to camp, I figured it would make sense for her to bring the book home to my parents.

“Wow… so you’re saying we basically grew up together and I didn’t even know it? That makes you like my little brother!”

“Ah, big brother. I’m older.”

“Yeah, but you’re littler.”

“Fine, fine. Just… I don’t know how my parents are gonna react. When you’re showing them the scrapbook, make sure to keep calm, and take things at their pace, okay?”

“Of course, Flint. I really hope this works out.”

Suddenly, Sasha and Milla levitated over to us.

“Flint, darling, do you have a moment?”

I nodded, climbing onto Milla’s hand. Phoebe waved goodbye, taking the book and running off to the camp bus stop.

Sasha paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. I could tell this was serious.

“Grand Head Zanotto has been kidnapped. We’re leaving to locate and rescue him as soon as possible.”

“Oh no… Where do you think he is? Did you tell Lili yet? What should I do while you’re gone? What if-”

“We were going to ask you to come with us. You are a Psychonaut now, after all, and you and Razputin did just save all of our brains.”

“Of course, it’s perfectly alright if you need a break. We just wanted to offer.” Milla added.

This was it. My first official mission. Came up a lot sooner than I thought it would, but I wasn’t one to complain. It was a brand new day, and a brand new adventure was about to begin.

“Count me in!”

So, we met up with Raz and Lili to debrief them, and we all got into the jet to head off on our search for Truman Zanotto. Coach Oleander joined us, too, though Ford had to stay behind. His mobile psitanium supply wore off, causing his mind to revert to its shattered state.

Milla passed me over to Raz as she and Sasha took their seats at the front, and soon, we were ready for takeoff.

“See? I told ya we’d be Psychonauts together.”

I sighed. “You just love being right, don’t you?”

“C’mon, you’re glad I was right!”

If it were any other day, I’d fire a million snarky comments back at him. But not this time.

“Yeah… I really am.”

[iminaloine]

A Tangent on Why Queer Family Matters to Me (pretty long)

One thing that really irritates the fuck out of me is when homophobes try to denounce same-sex parents under the guise of their kids needing a proper mother and father figure in their life. Now obviously I think that's complete horseshit. The funny thing is I didn't realise why it irritated me so much until earlier this year.

When I was younger I would question why I was so unbothered by the LGBTQ+ community despite coming from a country that actively reviles it and views it as a crime (Nigeria). Even figuring out that I was bi and nb didn't really feel like an 'aha!' moment. I literally just straight up got a crush on a girl in the middle of high school and spent a month reevaluating my entire being and just came out the other end like "huh. guess that's a thing now". It never felt like a big deal, because it never felt like it was "out of the ordinary" to be queer in the first place.

I only just realised early this year that it's because I was raised by two women; my mom and her childhood best friend platonically moved in together way before I was born. My dad dipped early, so I literally grew up in a household that was completely different from the heteronormative structure that a big chunk of society still views as the norm. And yeah, even though they're both the biggest cishets to have ever cishayed, they still raised me and my sibling well. Pretty fucking well, in fact. And in doing so they taught me that there is literally no concrete picture of 'family'. As long as you love the hell out of each other and stick together then you meet that criteria. That fact is something that will always be important to me. And it honestly boggles my mind that despite this pretty clear-cut concept, a lot of people still find it hard to grasp? Like I've gotten into so many arguments with people who think that this belief is the mic drop of the year, and like—it's really not??

And hearing about more people who were raised in homes that didn't make gender/sexuality out to be something that's set in stone (because it isn't) makes me feel really happy because like, YEAH! A person's identity 1. isn't something that they have to be sure of right off the bat, and it's okay (healthy, even) for parenting styles to support that, and 2. DOESN'T make your parents terrible people because they're depriving you of the father/mother you never had, or whatever. Like I understand that there are some levels of nuance to this argument but just. To anyone who has this opinion, I just want to stress this.

Dysfunctional families are not caused by same-sex parents. They are caused by dysfunctional parents and/or family members, irrespective of sexuality or gender identity.

Those two ideas can coexist, and even intersect! But one does not equal the other. And having the conventional idea of the nuclear family be basically mythologised by conservatives or homophobes (or both) just paints queer people as horrible parents for just existing, while upholding the idea that as long as a family has a mother and a father, they're Perfectly Splendid. Which is a pretty damaging narrative to hold on to. I know I'm definitely privileged to have the family I do because a lot of queer people don't, and that's why this whole thing makes me so mad. Because according to some, maybe a lot of people, my family isn't valid. It's other. It's wrong. And that's a really ignorant take.

But yeah, that's my way too long, extremely unstructured tangent that was probably just a rant but I needed to get it out of me. But hey, I'm barely an adult, my opinion on this topic probably doesn't even matter anyway, thank you

[rum-and-shattered-dreams]

Warning for a real life death mention and grief, I guess?

It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of the messed up dreams where I find out my mom is somehow still alive and all most of what I feel is horrible guilt for donating/selling most of her stuff (because now she’s here and needs it, though I kept a lot of the things that were important to her/irreplaceable) and for somehow not knowing and visiting her, and crushing anxiety/dread over having to care for her alone again somehow/give up a chance at maybe having a life to do so. (And yes, she is always upset in the silent treatment/withholding affection/love way in these dreams.)

I hate that that’s almost all I can feel. This last one had a little more happy-to-see-her-again but it’s still not much in comparison. (In this dream, I tried to hug her but she pulled away) It’s not like there weren’t good times/good things. There were more than many kids can say they had with a parent. But people tell me there were things they saw that were messed up. I saw them too but somehow can’t process them as bad enough to be like, traumatic or anything because they were constant background noise things not a bunch of major events or overt neglect or abuse.

And it’s extra complicated because I think it stems from me thinking she deserved better (than me and what I could offer because of my health issues (both mental and physical) and selfishness and awkwardness and undiagnosed autism that caused misunderstandings). But I was not and am not “better”. (This extends into believing everyone deserves better than me but that’s going into a deeper spiral).

But it’s interesting that I used to not get that these were dreams and would be “stuck” in them until I naturally woke up (or something else woke me up). Then it progressed to realizing it must be a dream and being able to wake myself up. This time I skipped the “wait, this isn’t possible - oh this is another dream. I should probably wake up” moment and went straight to shouting “please wake up!” And did.

Anyway it might also be because of relearning (or finally understanding?) something kid me took as just a way of the world. Somewhere in life, the concept faded and a recent event brought it up again and helped me re-realize it.

Help and support aren’t all or nothing. (Which is why we need full support groups). One person probably can’t do everything a person needs when they ask for help and they should not be expected to. But that doesn’t mean a person can’t accept and be grateful for what support the other person could and did give. And that can exist alongside other feelings including anger and sadness. This applies to others, like my mom, and to me. I might not be capable of doing everything someone needs when they ask for help but maybe some part of it can be useful.

So yeah… still trying to untangle this emotional mess that refuses to come out as actual emotional expression. Dreams, skin issues, and gut issues, sure! But can I get the ugly cry I probably need? Apparently not.

[forestryfae]

holy fucking shit is it possible to get more self centered. holy shit.

stepmom called at like 22:30 the first time. didnt answer. clear sign to not fucking call again id say given most normal people are asleep by now. called again like ten minutes later and i thought well maybe its an emergency. surely shes not stupid enough to call twice in the evening around most peoples bedtime. <--- said by someone who was once called by her 7 times in half an hour and all they wanted was either a chat or they bought me a lamp at ikea idfr

nope. shes chatting away and shit asking where i am, whether i want to celebrate christmas with them, fully expecting me to let them help me when i move into an apartment.

first of all lmao wtf. im not asking them for fucking help moving my shit, if i did theyd go to sweden that exact day and be like "oh were in sweden right now but we can come by later :)" like they did when we asked them to maybe come help w the house. dad was tasked with contacting a lawyer for me once too, he promised hed do it he knew how horrible i had it and when we got to the meeting w my support team he told me he hadnt done it. 2 months i waited and he just hadnt bothered. btw i got really sick a few days later. fever, exhaustion, the whole thing.

and then shes like "it must be so nice to have your legal guardian and finally have someone who gets stuff done" yeah well dad was useless and mom was actively hindering me from talking to a lawyer and you and dad knew how bad it was but you didnt do shit to help so. thanks for that ig.

btw letting me stay for a week during christmas does not count. i really want to say im grateful but rn i dont feel grateful. im pissed. they knew how bad it was and did fucking nothing. i talked about how bad it was and they did nothing but try to talk down how bad it was, atleast dad. sure, stepmom defended me sometimes but having my dad say the shit he did and acting like it was no big deal living alone in a rotten cold house w two cats while i was severely depressed and utterly isolated and only helping if he felt like it. holy fucking shit. yeah dude atleast its getting taken care of i fuvking guess. being a parent doesnt stop when your kid turns 18 and if you marry a dude w kids you cant just. not talk to the kids if it doesnt suit you

and shes asking for all this info about where i am and so on and i just gotta lie. i dont wanna have to argue with a grown ass woman at nearly 11 pm and tell her i straight up dont want them to know cus theyve been utterly useless at all times except like. two times. dad fixed some electrics and i got to stay for christmas and thats it. ive been driven home after shopping sure but whose fucking fault is it i dont have a license? could unsupportive parents who offer to help but dont ever let me drive be part of the problem? could the lack of legal help and effort be a part of the problem?

and obvs im answering in single words and the occasional sentences cus im fucking annoyed and trying not to be rude but shes chatting away about shit she has no business knowing or getting involved in at almost 11 pm. so the call ends w her asking if im sad cus i "sound so sad" like no im not sad. tell her im not sad. she said something afterwards i dont remember but i did wind up saying that "well its kind of really late to call someone at 10:30 in the evening" and she starts. going on about how she just really missed me and missed talking to me and at this point internally im just fuming. she called that late at night just to chat? is she fucking stupid?

like its not bad enough the only times i ever get called is when theyre bored in the car and need entertainment so i have to sit there listening to my own voice echo out of their handsfree while the mic is garbling their voices so bad i can barely tell wtf theyre saying over the sound of traffic. and now shes calling in the middle of the night tol cus her emotional need is too important to let people sleep

[mandy4ever69420]

on sandy i don’t get why people insist she’s like evil for being a dead beat when the show literally goes out of the way to show that her kid is extremely well adjusted and doesn’t want sandy to be his mother, and that debbie was projecting onto her. like. there wasn’t really any complexities about that, they made it so straight up. her situation was awful and i don’t blame her for not wanting to be around her kid or her husband.

don’t get it with mickey either, maybe a little more but i still think it’s morally okay to not want to be a parent to a kid born from rape or teenage pregnancy?? i feel bad for svet for having to essentially be a single mother but i still don’t think it was necessarily mickey’s responsibility

yeah! i'm glad you saw it so clearcut, i did, too, but sooo many people acted like it was ambiguous i was slightly like wtf am i nuts. 😅 tbh even before we even saw her kid in person so to speak, it seemed pretty obvious to me. I mean, oh, a gay milkovich had a kid they didn't want? where have i seen this before?? i'm intrigued that you get people's discomfort more with mickey, i've mostly seen people be extremely understanding with mickey's initial (not even permanent) desire to Not be around his kid, and then so oddly negative towards sandy. i attributed this to a couple factors

misogyny. like duh. even people who think they're woman defenders or whatever fall into the trap of expecting women to be mothers. it's infuriating.

- this even tangles into my problem with some of the svetlana fans who i WANT to see as allies, as a svetlana enjoyer, but CANNOT, as a moral nuance enjoyer. whos not super sw negative. lol

-debbie fans i think have this problem too. debbie's interest in motherhood is interesting & a character trait. it's not like, redemption for the things she does that are bad

2. projection. i think a lot of these people just relate really hard to debbie about the monica thing and did exactly what she did.

-i dont LIKE this but it's understandable. i generally just scoff and move on with this one bc whatever you have your own issues you're relating to in debbie. this is also why i've held off on some thoughts i had on fionaposts til i can phrase them right. like ok you're clearly overrelating here i should be nice

-i take sandy's side in the breakup but i still think debbie has the right not to want to hang out with her. i LOVE a tv breakup where i see both perspectives as more or less understandable <333 what a satisfying & sad little ending

3. sandy's backstory w/ her kid is not as explicit as mickey's.

-that is, the viewer sees up close and horribly personal exactly what happened with mickey, with sandy we're left to infer. i thought it was plenty clear that whatever the details it was traumatic.

-since seeing how people reacted to some things about this show i've become a LOT more forgiving of how fucking, long and intolerable certain scenes are. not limited to svetlana's first appearance but definitely including that. some people still didn't get it so idk about them but perhaps the point did need to be hammered home

-though also this could lead to it taking longer to be at peace with mickey's initial desire not to acknowledge yevgeny. you see all the ugly parts of his rejection -- "fuck you, that's his name" -- which really made me worry at first as well. i already knew i agreed that he shouldn't have to be this kid's dad & i didn't want to see him reject him

Anyway,

you were able to narrow it down accurately to svetlana being a single mother. i hadn't thought much on that perspective, i've mostly gone back and forth in my head on how i view her perspective in having a child: did she want a kid and just figure it may as well be this one? did she want an abortion but couldn't afford/was pressured not to? did she NOT want a kid, but not believe in abortions for personal reasons? side note: it's exactly as much an autonomy violation to force someone to get an abortion as to force them not to. no matter the reason. unfortunately, there's no easy way out once any part of this plot took off - it'd have been less horrifying for mickey if she'd quietly aborted the pregnancy, but that's a different can of worms if she wanted to keep a pregnancy and felt pressured not to

i've mentioned a bit mickey's attachment / separation from yevgeny both being forced in a really really sad way. so i also hadn't considered much of her role as a single mother because she didn't necessarily have to be. + she tends to jump headfirst into relationships so you never see her on her own for long.

[the-somewhat-rambling-reviewer]

Freeform Thoughts on Peaceful Property EP 2

Okay, that was funny, Pangpang just being in the bathroom when Home snuck in, although, I still wonder if he waited specifically until she was out of the room (if so, how did he know when she was?) or if he just happened to sneak in when she wasn’t.

Jan does English better than New.

And I now no longer ship Kan/Pangpang. A shame, because, Kan is still one of the most awesome characters on the show.

Worse, I’m pretty sure the show is setting up Home/Pangpang. I didn’t like Pangpang as much this episode as last, but she is still way too good for him.

Thankfully, the mysterious woman did not get punched. It would have been instinctive on Peach’s part, but still, glad she didn’t.

It kinda looked like Pangpang might have grabbed him to stop him. If so, good on her.

Admittedly, Home’s food does look much better than that sandwich Peach made.

Kan is getting shit done while everyone else fumbles about.

Aw, the mysterious woman is Rak’s mother.

Uncle Kid is a good parental figure so far.

I’m not sure the bodyguard is getting paid enough for all these shenanigans, but he does seem to roll with them pretty well.

Seriously, Peach and Pangpang just straight-up physically kidnapped someone?

Seriously?

Was not expecting that from either of them.

I agree with Home’s, “Holy shit.”

I mean, yeah, kidnapping is bad, but- I’m kind of on their side.

Good job, show?

It helps that they are obviously not masterminds. How they managed to get him to the second location without anyone stopping them, or besides Home, seeing them, is narrative favouritism.

Not that I’m complaining, but it is.

I will Home credit here. If someone menacingly pulled a knife on a tied person (good job to Tay), I probably would do the cowardly thing and run away. If I didn’t, I sure wouldn’t be as unafraid as Home is.

He did step in when it seemed like they might truly physically hurt someone, but he’s still exasperated and confused and judgemental about these strange poor people who might be able to help him than truly freaked out.

I guess having his bodyguard helps, but still. Some credit due.

The kidnapped guy couldn’t rip the tape off his own mouth even though his hands were free? Funny.

I’m wondering if Pangpang can also see ghosts.

Also, were effects used, or did New actually carry Tay? I’m always curious when a male character carries another male character if the actors are actually doing that or not. I’m pretty sure Ja Phachara Suansri did carry First Chalongrat Novsamrong on Don’t Say No and that Tay did give New a piggyback ride on Cherry Magic Thailand, but whether Sing Harit did Tay, I’m not so sure.

Speaking of effects, is this Jan or another actress playing possessed!Pangpang?

Again, Home gets credit for trying to physically remove the ghost from Peach instead of just leaving him (like he did the bodyguard) to try to save himself.

And what I said earlier about Kan is continuing the bear true.

God, that manager is an asshole.

Some countries have good healthcare systems, but it seems like so many just have terrible ones. A person with cancer should not have to work to survive. If they want to work, they shouldn’t have to deal with the threat of being fired due to their illness. Ugh.

And whenever Home gets credit, he quickly loses it.

That manager just gets more horrible every scene he’s in.

So, no, she didn’t steal it. I wouldn’t have judged her if she had, but just trying it on, even if that is against workplace rules, isn’t equivalent to stealing.

And Kan continues to be the most competent out of all.

Good for Peach to be able to look at Rak without flinching or freaking out.

Poor Kan having to deal with these ridiculous (though adorable, minus Home) people.

So, Home called Peach hot. Hm.

At least, Home knocked and announced himself instead of just bursting or sneaking in.

Let’s see what he does next to annoy me.

Maybe I spoke too soon. I don’t know if it was his idea or Kan’s, but I’m glad someone got Rak’s mother compensation.

I knew it was payment when I first saw the envelope, but interesting how Pangpang assumed it was Peach being terminated.

I do like Home’s reaction to the siblings screaming. Most people would be nonplussed, but Home just largely accepts the two being dramatic, possibly because he himself can be rather dramatic.

Would not go that far, though, Pangpang.

Possibly evil attorney is right no one is pure good or evil, but I don’t think Kan is struggling with moral absolutism. Rak’s mother deserves compensation. It won’t hurt Home, his estate, or the attorney’s paycheque to make sure she gets some and maybe a little extra.

Please, listen to your brother, Pangpang, and do not fall Home. What about Best? He seemed nice, and he has his own house now.

I wouldn’t object to Home/Peach, but I really don’t think Peach was being possessive. He just doesn’t want his sister to end up with someone she is way too good for.

So, did Kan quit? I’m a little confused by her plopping that box onto the desk, and then, putting it in a car.

Speaking of narrative favouritism or plot armour, I don’t have a problem when the narrative itself establishes why a character has plot armour. I don’t want even worse things to happen to June Osborne on The Handmaid’s Tale, but it drives me insane that she can just do all this stuff that it’s shown any other character would absolutely be dead for. So many characters are punished so harshly for not even doing anything as extreme as she does.

If a story says, hey, ghosts are real, this character can interact with them for reasons, and supernatural protection is limitedly applied because of some cosmic plan, fine. That’s different from: Any other character who did this or didn’t do something would fail/suffer, and there’s no real reason given why this other character can be like this without the same or similar consequences applied.

Not to get too derailed with The Handmaid’s Tale, especially since I may not even watch the next season, but there are ways June could have been realistically written to get away with some of what she did, and if most of it was explainable, then, her getting lucky on a few occasions would be easier to accept. But the writers didn’t take the time or, maybe, didn’t have the time, I don’t know, to properly set things up.

Peach and Pangpang are down on their luck. They’re decent people. I can easily believe fate or something wanted them to connect with Home for reasons, and now that they are, something was like, yeah, we’re gonna let you two kidnap that asshole manager without any interference from regular people.

I’m still enjoying this show.

[absolute-decay]

Smile

hehe oc x canon fluff go brrrrrr

Himiko was good at hiding, good at running, and good at stabbing. All essential survival skills, honestly. What she was not good at, however, was finding her way back to team mates that had completely disappeared and left no way of finding them.

Now, she wasn't bitter, neither did she feel betrayed, of course not. She knows what it's like to be in do or die situations, so she understands that Shigaraki and the others escaping could have been necessary, and she chose to go out on her own knowing full well that something might prevent them from reuniting. None of that means she isn't going to nag Tomura's ear off about it, though.

It has been days, and right now, she's just wandering the devastated streets at night, and she's cold, and hungry, and alone, and right back at square one. No, even worse than that, because now, if she gets caught, she knows what'll happen. The Heroes won't see her as person, so if she fights back, or runs, or just wants to live a normal life...

She shook those thoughts away. She didn't need to be distracted by that right now. What she needed was to the others. But, god, it was going to be difficult like this.

As she looked at the city she was traveling through, for miles, all she could see was a singular, straight path of absolute decimation. Just one of the many cities in between Gigantomachia and Jaku Hospital. It was terrible, horrible even. But, in the middle of the night, lit only by the stars and the moon, all the pain already over with? She was really starting to understand what Spinner and Tomura were on about when they talked about a destroyed horizon.

And within that destroyed horizon, Himiko saw a dot. Or, well, that's all she could make out. Upon closer inspection, it was definitely a person, she just had no idea who, too far away to tell. They seemed about adult sized, so it probably wasn't an orphaned kid who lost everything to the destruction. They were moving, though, at a pretty fast pace, she thinks. A parent looking for their child, maybe?

She was just about to move on, to continue her search, when suddenly, the dot stopped. She did the same, standing completely still. Just as suddenly as it stopped, the dot kept moving, but this time, towards her. And it, no, they, were running.

Himiko took a deep breath, grabbing one of her knives. If it was a hero, they would definitely call for back up, and if it was a bold citizen, they would either call for a hero or for the police. Either way, she didn't wanna bother with any of that, so she would end this, quickly. It didn't look like they had called anyone yet, so she was lucky.

She rushed forward, intent to kill sharpening her senses, making her more attentive to any possible move they might make. Now, if she expected this person to say anything, she would bet on a few things. "You monster!" "Murderer!" "Villain!" "I'll kill you!"

What she didn't expect was his voice.

"Himiko!"

She stopped dead in her tracks, stun locked, all killer instinct washed away in an instant. "Huh?" She squinted, looking closer at the quickly approaching figure, and suddenly, instead of shock, she was joyous. She should have known it wouldn't take long, after all.

"Himiko! Himiko, I-" When the young boy had finally reached her, she swiftly put her mouth over his mouth. "Akugaki, please. I missed you too, but, I don't want anyone to hear us just after we reunite! C'mon, this way." She hurried through the streets, heading for the nearest alleyway, with Akugaki not far behind.

Once they were hidden from view, he caught his breath, and smiled. "Himiko, you can't-" only to be interrupted again, this time by her hugging him so hard and so suddenly he almost fell over. "I missed you! I missed you all so much, Akugaki!" He returned the hug, just as tight. "I did too, we all did! We were so scared!" Part of him remembered the state their leader was in right now, but he just pushed that aside, knowing that yeah, Tomura would absolutely have missed her.

They both let go of each other, smiling like the maniacs they were. She began shaking him by the shoulders, rapid fire questioning him.

"How are you? Are you ok?!"

"I'm doing perfectly fine!"

"Tomura!"

"He's been better, but he'll be back to normal soon!"

"Spinner!"

"In shock, but not hurt!"

"Dabi!"

"As Dabi as ever- also, his real name is Touya, and, it's a long story I'll explain later!"

"Compress!"

At that name, the giant smile on Akugaki's face faded, and when Himiko noticed, she stopped shaking him so excitedly, and dread started to fill her eyes. Realizing his mistake, Akugaki put his hands up, shaking his head. "No, no, no! He's ok, he's alive, I'm sorry! I promise, he isn't hurt!"

Himiko took a deep breath staring him dead in the eyes. "Then, what happened...?" He looked to the ground for a moment, saddened. "Well, apparently, the others were all in a tough spot, and about to get captured by the heroes. So, he made an escape act, he saved them. He just, he knew he couldn't come too, and he was ok with that, as long everyone else were safe."

The two were silent for a few moments, as Himiko collected her thoughts. "Are Overgrowth and Blood Rush still ok, too? I know you aren't really members, but..." He smiled, giving her a childishly determined look. "They're both fine, don't worry. We may have contradictory methods, but, we want the same thing, so we're staying loyal to you guys no matter what. It's a shame we couldn't help at the ambush, but, we're here now. Enough about us, though, are you ok?

The girl lifted her arms around her head, and spun around in place. "Basically uninjured, don't worry about it." Akugaki nodded hesitantly, hoping things didn't go as he feared with his next question. "And... what about your visit with Ururaka and Asui? How did that go?"

Himiko opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Instead, she just backed into the wall of a building, and slumped down to the ground, sitting in a curled position, her eyes empty.

God damnit. Akugaki knew he had to bring it up, but, now, he just can't bring himself to say much else, other than, "I'm sorry." She looked up at him, but couldn't meet his eyes. "It's ok. I should have known they didn't see me as a person. It just doesn't matter anymore, yeah?"

He almost nodded by default, he was so unsure what to, but, he stopped himself. He ran a hand through his extremely long and extremely messy hair, trying to think of an answer, before slowly leaning down to Himiko's level.

"Those who are unfortunate enough to be considered 'lesser', will always just be at the mercy of those who are 'more'. That's what we all agree on, so," He reached for her hand, gently pulling her closer, as she looked at him with wide eyes. "I think the fact that you were hurt like that does matter. I wanna make a world where people are seen as 'Less' or 'More' simply by their actions and character, nothing more. And... aside from all that, seeing you sad really matters, to me, no matter what."

He continued to pull on her hand, and the two came closer, eventually reaching in for a hug. It was slow, it was silent, but it was so much. Himiko was shaking, and Akugaki could feel her tears dripping onto his shoulder and back, and he was glad.

They stayed like this for minutes that likely felt like years, before Himiko sighed, letting go of him. "Thanks a lot, I needed that. I'm glad I have you guys." Her smile was small, so small, smaller than he had ever seen on her. But, with her red eyes and heavy breathing, he could tell it was full of so much happiness. "No problem, Himiko. It's gonna be a long walk, but, we gotta get back to the others." They both got up, dusting themselves off. "Yeah, you're right. But, it would be so unlike me to see them all while I'm all miserable and down in the dumps."

He nodded, "Yep yep, you're way too cute for that." He walked along as he spoke, gesturing her to follow him, which she did like she was as peppy as ever. "Ehe, thanks! You know, I'm excited to meet the others, but, I hope I'm not away from Izuku for too long."

"After all that, you're still obsessed with that guy?" He sounded more upset than usual, and gave her a childish glare.

"Of course I am! Just because Ochaco doesn't care for me, doesn't mean Izuku won't!" She blushed, bouncing as she walked beside him.

"Why do you even care so much about your boss' arch-nemesis?"

"You know why! What, are you just jealous?"

"What?! No, of course not! I'm just saying that..."

[mbat]

no im thinking about pregnancy again, as in, how awful i think it is and how people act about it

i guess i have to start with hey! this is just my opinion! if you feel different, hell yeah! im not shit talking you or telling you to feel different! this is literally just me talking about my personal feelings on pregnancy and i dont expect anyone to actually read it and i dont really care if anyone does

anyway i hate how people act like pregnancy is one size fits all. i hate how people act like if you have a vagina and a uterus and whatever that you HAVE to get pregnant one day, that youre going to want to get pregnant eventually even if you very much dont right now. hell, that if youre a "woman" at all, they think youre going to want to be a mother in general.

it really does just go hand in hand with gender role bullshit and how people think that you HAVE to be and do and love whatever youre born with and if you step outside of that that youre the weirdo and youre the one in the wrong, and not that theyre the weird ones for trying to force this stuff on you.

pregnancy, like anything, is for the individual to decide. but god forbid you decide it isnt for you.

pregnancy to me is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. im terrified of it, im disgusted by it, it sounds straight out of a horror movie to me, ive been around it twice irl and it... it just doesnt feel natural to me even though its apparently one of the most natural things we can do as humans. its like looking at the uncanny valley and being told nothing is wrong but theres that pull at the back of your mind telling you to look away, something is wrong, something is so very wrong.

i had a dream many months ago that i got pregnant, and i was near the end of the pregnancy, i had somehow missed the window to get an abortion. i was in a living room surrounded by people, they were all so happy for me. i remember looking down at my stomach and feeling the worst dread. i was too late to stop it, to prevent it, to end it. my options were very few, and all of them were horrible to me.

and of course i havent even mentioned children. i dont want kids! again, its not one size fits all, its the individuals choice! i dont think id be a good father, and i dont want to be one anyway, i want my freedom, my time, my money, my life! why would i want to bring a child into this fucked up world anyway, just to fuck them up more because i really wouldnt be a good parent.

i dont even want to think about the actual birth part. endless hours of pain and disgusting things happening and emotions and... i could never. i could never i could never i NEVER will. i hate disgusting things happening and i hate pain

all of pregnancy is gross though. you are out of control of your own body. its like a parasite to me. something that isnt you is inside of you, and its changing your body and controlling it whether it even means to or not, and you cant just take it out, and its growing and

thats not even mentioning that you can feel it moving around. what. the. fuck.

i hate that people expect this of me. hell, not even just expect, but want this of me. my dad clings to the idea that one day ill give up all my 'i dont want kids' talk and finally be "normal" and want kids and whatever, because hey he wants grandkids :(. you have grandkids!!!! you have 3!!! its not my fault that only one of them is biologically related to you, maybe you should get over your weird attachment to things being biological and just learn to love regardless! i love my nephews and niece, theyre amazing and i love seeing them! i dont hate kids, by the way! i just dont want them for myself!

but honestly the whole reason i even thought about any of this is because, well tmi i guess, i think im starting a period and i just get so distressed about it. i hate that my body does this, i hate that its something i cant control and its disgusting and horrible. i just wish i could take my reproductive system out of me. and so i was like, i wish i could just pay a doctor to get it out of me! but then i remembered that theyd never do that because theyd be like OH BUT WHAT IF YOU MARRY A MAN AND HE WANTS KIDS. YOU NEED TO HAVE AT LEAST 2 KIDS BEFORE WE EVEN CONSIDER IT. and how if someone said that to me i dont think id be able to hold back from telling them that if i ever got pregnant and couldnt get rid of it that i would seriously consider offing myself. if i ever changed my mind about having kids (why would i) i would just adopt anyway.

i hate that my body is expected to belong to someone else, that my choices and my wants dont matter and im just a silly little girl and what i want will change anyway. im a person. im a full on person, and this is my body. i havent even mentioned how being trans factors into this because what more is there to say than 'im a man and that affects how i feel about this thing that people see as feminine'? or my pcos, which i have even less to say about because like, what is there to say ??

i hate that people dont care what i have to say about my own body, and my own future. i hate that my dad wants me to change how i feel about who i am and what i want, i hate that people i dont know that i havent even met expect me to do this thing that changes everything. i hate that people care more about hypothetical people than me. i hate that people think they know better than me about my own body and wants.

i never want to get pregnant. i never want to have kids. that is my choice as an individual, just like its someone elses choice to get pregnant and have kids. theres already enough people doing that in the world, there wont exactly be a shortage because i decide not to. its not my fault that other people see my choice as abnormal and the other as normal, that sounds like a them problem.

[astro-break]

📓📓📓?

Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.

Haven't named most of them so we'll just go by plot here :p You get angst because angst is funny

I've been writing a multichap and I've just been bouncing ideas for different plots sent in the same universe. Two of them is another meet the parents type fic but one is more of a "I have a horrible borderline abusive relationship with my dad and I'm not introducing him to my partners" type fic where the character gets his ass adopted by no less than three different parents. I also have a reconciliation fic bouncing around between two brothers who haven't talked to each other ever since spoilers, one of them died. Remember that one time I sent a fic snippet on discord about a dude who died by getting burned alive twice? Yeah this is about him lmaoooo. it was prompted by a very lovely comment on my current fic and the plot bunnies went rabid. Comment of fics guys, you just might get more. I have more planned for the series in general bc its all about misfortune and what happens after so its going to get all sorts of ugly. But its okay, in this house we love pain :D Maybe a few attempted murders

Another I had planned was a pretty big Digimon AU where eight music theater kids get dropped into a digital world hellbent on murdering them and they plan a revolution bc they're music theater kids what else are they going to do? Theres a whole bunch of angst since its revealed pretty early on that there are two villains in their group and they spend 90% of the first half distrusting each other. The first plot twist is that the two villains aren't even aware that they're the villains and were just unfortunately given kinda messed up home lives that drove them to seek out alternative means to survive. There are other fun landmarks such as gay soliloquies about being betrayed by your totally straight guy friend who you would marry if none of them were married by a certain age being a genuine powerup, actual consequences to actions, and me finally writing smut. The last one is the real shocker here

Last angst was actually just me finally writing out the whole plot of Undeadverse. I have too many AUs cooked up about it and I need to scream it into the void somehow. The problem is I have no idea which AU is canon AU so we're gonna have to figure that out. Basic plot rundown though is pretty much set in stone with the science obsessed asshole getting their ass kicked by the fact that every else around them is dying or will one day die and they will be there to witness each and ever one of them. That bitch is going to live forever knowing that they killed their son and has no chance of ever entering the underworld again to see his family. :D Fun times. Love torturing my OCs

[tonhalszendvics]

Thanks for the tags, @sinvulkt, i was thinking about this wayyyy too much. Anyway, here you go, have the (uncomplete) list of angsty babies of my heart, listed in almost correct alphabetical order!

1. Azula

She's the absolute queen of my heart. Too young to do all the shit she has to do, but she still does it, and she delivers. And also breaks during the process, but heyy, who ever heard of stress wearing down people? Not me for sure.

She has many layers to discover, she has interesting takes and she's also a goldmine for AUs and character-centric stories.

2. Mat Cauthon

This guy, I swear. I like his book persona, pre-Sanderson era, but Sanderson had his moments with him, too. If I have to think about a reluctant hero, he comes to my mind: he will do what he was tasked with, but you bet he'll complain the whole time! Also, his parental skills are a sight to behold.

(I am still mad that those three were not friends by the end of the series.)

3. Katniss Everdeen

Older sibling feels right into the heart. I wish I were as brave as her. That would be stellar, since our social skills are already matching. My sweet awkward girl, could and will kill you. She deserved better.

4. Héderváry Erzsébet (or Hungary, if you will)

They say, she is the manliest characters out of the whole cast. I tend to agree. I am also a bit compromised, since... you know. I'm Hungarian, lol. I wish my country were irl as cool as her.

5. Astrid Hofferson

She's badass, knows how to set people straight, loves Stormfly with all her heart, what more do I need from her?

6. Erik Lensherr/Magneto

This guy is just. Having issues and having solutions that are not good but you understand why does he have them. Also, official dilf on this list.

7. Murtagh & Thorn

They are soulbounded, they count as one! Murtagh was one of the first angsty dramaqueens of my heart, and that love came back to life and hit me like a train after I've read his book last week. I love this guy and Thorn was just. Perfect. I love them, your honour. Please provide me more of his emo poetry.

8. Natasha Romanoff

If we unsee that blehh thing from Age of Ultron, she's obviously the coolest person of the whole cast. I mean she's still written off as obligatory female character who we need to get away with everything, but she has depth, and I kinda like her. I mean. I kinda like the way she's written in fanfics :|

9. Anakin Skywalker

Another fine addition to the collection of angry sad men. I kind of. Don't like his portrayal in the clone wars series, as he was just so vastly different from the films – yeah, Hayden acting like animated Anakin in the Ahsoka series maybe lessened that pain, but still. He was awkward young adult, then he was less awkward less young and less human.

10. Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning

I literally couldn't decide, so here you go, a place shared! They are so similar, yet the differences in their characters made them react so differently! Wen Ning is baby, must protecc. Jiang Cheng will experience physical damage if he has to talk about his feelings.

Honorary mentions: Toothless (HTTYD); Bucky, Loki, Nebula and Wanda Maximoff (Marvel); Jonathan Morgenstern (Mortal Instruments); Toph, Zuko, Aang, and basically every kid from AtLA, Gilbert/Prussia (Hetalia); Matthew the Raven (Sandman series, as I haven't read the comics); Leia Organa (Star Wars); Taina Tives (you'll never know her, she's a wonderful person from a Hungarian sci-fi); Azirafael & Crowley (Good Omens); Arya (Game of Thrones); beat me but I liked Newt Scamander, even if the films were a piece of shit; Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist). Uhh, there are probably more, but they came to my mind?

So, as you can see, I have a thing for bad guys with horrible past, un-redeemable sins and anger issues. Give it to me. Make them monsters, but sprinkle in just a tiny bit of humanity, so they can suffer even more. Or, ray of sunshine. The duality of taste hits again!

I'd like to tag you, if you're interested: @bonnefoysdick, @astraxh, @kiir-bee, @pruszided, @kvietka, @daigah, and whoever feels like it <3

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Tags

Thank you so much @idle-brit for tagging me!This was lots of fun :) 💖

My tags: @delyth88, @elymusplant, @galaxythreads, @chemical-processes. No pressure to answer, of course :)

1. Loki (MCU)

As much as I love everyone on this list, there is absolutely no competition for number 1. Loki has been my favourite character of all time for nearly 6 years now (because clearly the best time to join someone's fandom is after they've just been murdered), and is showing absolutely no signs of being replaced anytime soon. I have a Loki blog, for god's sake. The brodinsons are my favourite relationship in any kind of media, ever. I love them so, so much. Loki's a million different things and feelings, all at the same time, all fighting with each other, which makes for a wonderfully complex and nuanced character. Also, he's hilarious. Look at that eye roll. This is a man who hates his life, which makes me feel better about mine. Thanks, Loki.

2. Klaus Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy)

As will become obvious throughout this list, I love me an emotionally traumatised crazy person. Klaus is that. One of the characters who makes me laugh the most, ever, show-stopping dress sense, and a bucketload of unresolved trauma which goes largely ignored by Klaus, the other characters and the narrative itself? It was love at first sight. Their banter with the other characters, especially Ghost Ben (rip) is one of my favourite aspects of the show. Here's to hoping that Klaus won't be getting the Allison treatment in season 4!

3. Pippa Fitz-Amobi (A Good Girl's Guide to Murder)

I binge-read the entire AGGTM series earlier this year, and instantly fell in love with it. Pip is one of my favourite protagonists ever. Impossibly clever, compassionate, obsessive, badass, and a teensy bit unhinged. What's not to love? I would die for her. I'd say that I'd kill for her, but I think she's got that covered. I think she's written in a very realistic way, firstly as a genius 17 year old girl who doesn't really know what she's getting into, and later as a haunted individual who wants to stop investigating but can't. The way she politely knocks on people's front doors to dig up their traumas, accuse them of murder and all-round ruin their lives is everything to me. She is my blorbo. I am so, so excited for the show to come out, and I'm sure that Emma Myers will do a wonderful job as Pip!

4. Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)

One of the best-written characters, in one of the best-written series ever. Reading from her perspective is such a delight- she's endlessly suspicious of everyone around her, constantly on survival mode, trusting very few people and relying on exactly no one (to begin with, at least). She's a random teenage girl, from the poorest district, and she wins the Hunger Games. She's so mentally unstable that she has to be sedated, and still she's made to be the face of a rebellion. She's rude, and kind of unlikeable. She adopts all the weakest tributes, at risk to herself, knowing that they won't win. She's doomed to fail by the narrative. She's the it girl of 2010s dystopian YA fiction. Jennifer Lawrence is an amazing actress, who does a beautiful job portraying the depth and conflict of Katniss in the films. The themes and social commentary of the Hunger Games is one of its (many) strong points, and I am so so glad that people are talking about it again, because it is my favourite book series out there.

5. Mitchell Pritchett (Modern Family)

I have no idea what to say about this man, I just love him. He just like me fr. What an icon. Impeccable music taste. I've started saying, "no my god" now, and nobody understands what I'm talking about. Even in a sitcom, my favourite is the one with issues that he refuses to talk about or fix. The episode where he's trying to hide that he dressed up as spiderman makes me cry-laugh. Claire's speech at his wedding makes me just cry. He's not a perfect man, but he's certainly better than everyone else.

6. Shin Tsukimi (Your Turn to Die)

My favourite cringefail loser! I said Katniss was doomed by the narrative in a metaphorical way. This idiot is actually doomed.

No but in all seriousness, I do really love him. Before the beginning of the game, he was just a relatively normal young man- but, when confronted with the inevitability of his own death, he made himself into a monster to survive. He has a violent vendetta against the local badass teenage girl, who is traumatised as hell already and does not need Shin chipping in as well, thank you very much. I love his relationship with Kanna, his biological sister; how he uses her, manipulates her, and still cares for her so much that he dies for her with a smile on his face in the Emotion route. Conversely, in the Logic route, his actions are a direct cause of her death, and I just love how much YTTD hates siblings. I hope that his past with Midori is explored more in either a mini-episode or the final part of the game, because I find it sooo interesting. I'm super excited to see whether he actually has no chance of survival, or whether he makes it out, against the odds, on one of the routes. He's a bit useless, so I won't get my hopes up.

7. Rue Bennett (Euphoria)

I think it goes without saying that Euphoria has its issues, lol. Sam Levinson is an idiot. While a lot of the show (especially season 2) feels shallow and like it doesn't care about its characters, Rue's storylines always have heart and depth and I am so invested in her arc. It's no wonder that Zendaya won 2 Emmys for this role, because her acting is phenomenal! Rue feels so real to me, in the way that she's trying so hard to stay sober but she falls down and relapses time and time again. Recovery isn't linear, but she's getting there, and I adore her with all my heart. Her relationships with Lexi, her mother, her sister, and her sponsor, Ali, are my favourites, and the healthiest for her, in my opinion. Her brief friendship/ romance with Jules may have kept her more solidly sober than anything else in the show, but Jules (understandably) cracks under the pressure of Rue's mental health, and can't be there for her. Rue needs to heal for herself, which she appears to be doing at the end of S2.

8. Max Mayfield (Stranger Things)

Duffer brothers, please just let her be happy.

Despite only being introduced in Season 2, Max has, in my opinion, had the best character development out of everyone on the show. Her growth from someone standoffish, rude, and uninterested in the group (maybe I'm being a bit harsh. She was, like, 12) to someone who is willing to risk her life to help her friends and Hawkins means so much to me. The scene in "Dear Billy" (S4, Ep4) where she escapes from Vecna remains my favourite in the whole show and will probably be burned into my brain forever. Her relationships with Lucas and El are very sweet, and some of my favourites in Stranger Things. Her final line in S4, after all her struggles over the season, being that she doesn't want to die literally breaks my heart. I hope she gets some degree of a happy ending in the final season. She was my first profile picture when I joined this hellsite, and I love her a lot.

9. Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables)

The shenanigans that this girl gets up to never fail to make me laugh. The bit where she accidentally dyes her hair green and then has to hack it all off makes me feel awful for her, but. it's hilarious. Sorry, Anne. Her friendship with Diana is so sweet but also so funny to me because they really are the most chaotic duo of the 1880s. The scene where Anne accidentally gives her alcohol instead of fruit juice is so mortifying but so, so funny. Amidst all of the insane situations that Anne gets into are a lot of really heartwarming moments and relationships. Matthew and Marilla adopting Anne, even though they wanted a boy, because she's so endearing and alone in the world is probably what made me who I am today. I still haven't gotten around to watching Anne with an E, but I've heard it's amazing. I look forward to watching it when I have the time :).

10. Daphne Blake (Scooby Doo)

My first ever favourite character! Another one who I don't have a tonne to say about. She's an icon, she's a legend, and she is the moment. She has done nothing wrong, ever. She knows martial arts, so watch out.

Honourable mentions: Thor (MCU), Finnick Odair (The Hunger Games), Gretchen Weiners (Mean Girls), Jake Peralta (Brooklyn 99), Maurice Moss (The IT Crowd), The Eleventh Doctor (Doctor Who), James (The End of the F***ing World), Ali Abdul (Squid Game).

If you read all of this then thanks, and have a great day!