#I need life to happen again
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sitting here and thinking about everything that fell to the wayside in this past year and feeling terrible about it 🙂
#I lost an entire year of my life to health#not even a year LONGER than a year#I was so busy trying to survive that everything else just took a back seat#so many things fell through the cracks#I’m so on edge about it#I still can’t see me going back to work on the horizon#I haven’t been able to visit the people I love for far too long#I can barely go to the grocery store or a doctor appointment#hell!!! I’ve been in hell!!!!!!!! I’m so ready for it to be over!!!!!!!!!!!!#I want my normalcy back#I need life to happen again#we have such little time here on this earth and I have an entire year+ of nothing#just gone#2023 was just a massive black hole and I feel like I can’t escape it#like I just feel so isolated and unable to do anything about it#when will I get my life back#bria.txt
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ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to speculate about the sexual and romantic undertones of celebrities’ professional relationships
#thinking about the larry thing again. all my life i’ve been a believer 🙏#obviously many times of misguided beliefs were there before i like. learned how the world works. now i practice rpf discernment#but quite frankly there’s nothing like the drug of looking at star wars ot promo and being like man.#carrie fisher and harrison ford definitely fucked didn’t they.#and then for carrie fisher to drop the princess diarist and be like yeah me and harrison had the most torrid 70s affair#you can possibly imagine.#VINDICATIONNNNN#quite frankly they are the reason i still believe something similar happened with gillovny. we just need the memoir drop#rpf quiz
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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was feeling kinda down this morning so i drew max six times and that seemed to do the trick
#life is strange#lis#max caulfield#chloe price#life is strange 1#life is strange double exposure#<- tag i now need to go and blacklist because if i get spoilers for this game i stg#Something Will Happen#im SO excited#anyways i lied i actually drew the pool scene a week ago but didnt like it enough to post it alone#the five near identical maxes were all today though#sometimes you gotta draw the same character the same way over and over until you stop sulking for no reason#anyways i finished my lis 1 playthrough!!#was such a blast playing through it again#i forgot how much ep 5 FUCKS#i am still in my lis mood. evidently.
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🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨🕯️
✨ prayer circle for another bucktommy kiss tonight ✨
🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨ 🕯️✨🕯️
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couple a shinyduo doodles from The Great Terra Art Style Crisis of 2024. designs from my au :)
#hermitcraft#trafficblr#shiny duo#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#SIIIIIIGHS i haven't been posting art lately because. me and art have been OPPING BIG TIME#cause i'm at a place where i Know I Can Get Better and bc of that i need to sit down and just. study everything for a while. but i DON'T-#-HAVE THE IRL TIME FOR THAT so everything i've made has looked BADDDD because my artistic eye has outpaced my experience. whoopsies!#<yes this has happened multiple times in my life before. again i know the solution i just need the TIME#this story is still sooo important to me tho. i've been calling it the shapeshifter au in my head (cause thats the name of the album-#-that the song it's based on is from :)#shapeshifter shinyduo au#aurie's art
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same teacher, different lessons
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#sonic the hedgehog#dr. ivo eggman robotnik#miles tails prower#sonic frontiers#SPOILERS. THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS COMIC BY THE WAY.#SONIC FRONTIERS SPOILERS#smiles gently I can not believe I let sonic the fuckign hedgehog ruin my life#(I can I totally can)#hi <3 if you follow me because I drew this sonic comic. don't!#don't do it! follow me bc I'm funny and hot and devastatingly smart don't follow me bc I draw sonic stuff. bc it won;t happen again#I mean it. not bc I dont like or want to do sonic stuff. but bc I am literally in the middle of a job rn#one that I want to invest 100% of my time and brain in#this comic is actually an effort to win my brain back so I can do my job lol#because I finished miss penny snapcube's streams of this game and it force fed me emotions#I just! I just thought sonic would come tell eggman abt sage!! idk seems like something he'd do!!!#and also the whole thing abt letting the characters move on and have a future and change and develop#vs Killing My Baby Little Guy Daughter For Like Ten Minutes#thematically interesting! also for some reasons I had. a pretty easy time drawing this#I was mouthbreathing galloping like a horse to finishing this. Because I Need To Work#I didnt expect to have a good time with these designs tho idk why. probably bc I most suck shit at drawing animals#but to be fair yet again sonic and tails are little guys. theyre animal but theyre also like dudes. also sonic's design is kinda perfect#as far as character design goes he's really pretty goo- wait I made a continuity error hol on#okay. okay I fixed it. no problem. no matter 's all good now#okay. I go sleep now. today has been very noisy. but this actually got me through it okay#thank you sonic the hedgehog. that was pretty cool of u#have a good night guys! absolute freedom is probably really really sad#long post
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Just some lil guys getting ready for the day.
#bumfuzzled art#tokoyami fumikage#ojiro mashirao#darkshadow#mha#they’re very precious to me#have a lovely day guys no matter how you start it <3#and now for my regularly scheduled rambling#I should draw more self-indulgent slice of life stuff#and on the other hand#I need to stop drawing smear frames but I can’t help myself#sometimes a boy is just zooming and I can’t visualize it any other way#redrew the second Ojiro panel three times before I just decided to add 11da in it. He deserves a morning buddy#also#Darkshadow working hard#we love to see it#srry for inconsistent artstyle it will happen again#oof the quality got destroyed#edited: 29 August (fixed eyebrows)
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Okay but Gojo raised two children at 17/18 alone with like zero experience on how to be a good parent while he was training to become the strongest and shortly after loosing his best friend who had also been the one he had been in love with in one of the most horrendous and cruel ways possible all while keeping up an incredibly cheerful and carefree personality.
You can't tell me that this man wasn't emotionally, mentally and probably also physically exhausted during that time.
#Doing all of that is honestly so impressive#And doing so while being at a bad place in life/struggling with mental health makes it even more difficult to manage#I like to think that Nanami and Shoko kept checking on him frequently despite him saying that he was fine and didn't needed any help#He was just 17/18 at that time. He was so young.#Hc: When he had a moment for himself in the evening when the kids were already in bed he would just sit in bed and stare holes into the air#he would do so for nearly one hour unless one of the kids would call for him which happened rarely#shoving only tiny parts of headcanons which aren't bsd related into the posts which aren't bsd related so that I can still publish them#Listening to sad songs while my mental health is getting worse again really sets the mood for this one#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#gojo saturo#saturo gojo#megumi fushiguro#tsumiki fushiguro#fushiguro tsumiki#geto suguru#suguru geto#satoru x suguru#satosugu#jjk gojo#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#not bsd related
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The real nightmare of Nightmare Time is that there's so little of it
#ethan green#joey richter#starkid#nightmare time#hatchetfield#fanart#my art#sketches#doodles#joey playing ethan is an absolute hit with my brain#cant draw him for the life of me but THIS HAIRSTYLE WITH THAT JACKET??? i'll keep trying until i get it right love this look#soooo#im not usually the person who needs to consume ALL of the media for whatever im into#it just so happened that i kinda have to draw stuff for school anyway and nightmare time makes for a very fun background show#i got used to the format and it gets better with every episode to the point that now that i just finished it i miss it??? already??#its so very nice to have a hyperfixation again especially one that can play in the background as i fight with school stuff and comissions#thanks BD! Its all your fault buddy! ;P#500
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Robin chose Steve. Robin made the conscious and deliberate decision that she could and would trust Steve. She already liked him! She had fun working and bantering with him! They were already on their way to being weird little bffs and the torture just expedited the process. Steve chose Robin just the same! He thinks she's fun and cool and likes her so much! He chose to be honest and open with her too, putting himself out there.
Even though their interests on the surface level don't match why wouldn't they share them? Steve clearly caves when Robin wants to watch a movie he doesn't think he'll like, Robin can watch a March madness game or five.
Stop trying to take away their bond oh my god people can be close to more than one person!!! Their best friend doesn't have to be dismissive or mean or whatever in order for a romance to be special to them!
#if i have to see another fic or whatever that makes it seem like robin doesnt give a shit about what steve likes and talkes about im going#to scream and maybe even rampage#its nice to sit down and have someone who knows explain who the players are and what the stakes for this particular game!!#just because yall seem to not think anyone can be nutral towards sports doesnt mean people aren't#literally why is it so hard to believe robin would like to hear steve talk as much as steve likes to hear her talk#i am so close to telling some steddie shippers to not look at steve or robin or their friendship because some of yall do Not get it.#its like you can see them go 'have to make sure eddie is the most perfect specialest boy for steve...well that means robin doesn't Get Him '#or 'robin ignores him/dismisses his interests/isnt told everything happening in his life' like okay dont ever touch them again thanks#robin is steves specialest sunshine cupcake goober girl. steve is robins bestest happy times sweet funnyman. dont u dare take that away.#omce again tsgs longer than the post but ah well.#stobin#platonic stobin#robin buckley#steve harrington#stranger things#finda's rambles#steve and robin#this is a scheduled post just to jazz things up i guess#but seriously some of yall need to STOP MESSIGN WITH STOBIN
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y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.
#chyanne speaks#house md#hilson#hate crimes md#gregory house#james wilson#i think his inability to be alone is such an interesting quality of his that isnt touched on enough#like yes we all haha at his long string of unsuccessful relationships but we dont talk abt it all stemming from his inability to be alone#his first wife leaves him and then he remarried quickly#he cheats on the second wife and remarries quickly#the third wife cheats on him and leaves him and he immediately moves in with house#and then starts dating a patient and immediately moves in with her#but!!! then he moves into the hotel and is alone for like almost a year! and honestly he NEEDED IT#bc GROWTH happened in that year and he meets someone who doesn't fit his M.O. who breaks away from the mold#although he does immediately move in with her too but still. amber was different. she was the step in the right direction#and then she dies.#and then wilson throws himself into the left field. everything needs to change. he's spent so long fearing being alone.#so he tries to leave so he is completely and totally alone without house to fall back on#but house needs him. he needs him too much. they need each other too much.#and he falls back to house again. and he's content that way. he's always the most content when he's with house. always feels the least alone#and then sam comes back into his life and ruins e v e r y t h i n g#he falls right back onto those old patterns. kicks house out and moves her in. and then what happens??? of course??? she leaves him. again.#and then he's alone again and it hurts. he gets a cat that we only hear about twice and then never gets brought up again#but wilson has his kitty. he has house. he's not alone. he can be content.#and then house fucks everything up. he goes to prison. wilson is alone again.#im honestly SHOCKED that wilson didnt remarry in that year they were apart but he was rly trying to change!#he was working on himself and trying to make changed he thought would be good for him#and then house comes back. and house won't LET wilson be alone. he wont leave him alone.#and it's exactly what wilson has been yearning for since the day he drove that car into cuddys house#and in the end. as long as he had house that was all that mattered. as long as he had house he wasn't alone.
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In order to turn a very embarrassing moment of my life into something funny have this stupid Timbern au:
The Drakes are alive so Tim is still on track for being the heir of D.I. but is interning at W.E. for the summer because Bruce offered a position
Bernard has been interning at W.E. as well, for volunteering hours
The both work in a small, newer branch of W.E. that focuses on cultivating more information about Gotham’s history
Bernard’s there because it's the most teen focused thing and Tim’s there because he wants to figure where exactly the Lazarus pit is under Gotham so he can mess with Ra’s
They are currently stationed at an old house that was made into a museum which is managed by Wayne Enterprises, but since most of it is a museum there are only a few rooms to actually work, however it being a teen thing it’s very much choose your own hours so that prevents too many people from being there at once
Tim, who doesn’t want someone to come in a see the fact that he’s already finished cataloging all of the 2023 Donations to the museum and is instead using the time to further research the numerous curses in Gotham and/or watch Demon Slayer, is very happy about this fact and only comes at either the earliest or latest times so he gets a room to himself and only has to pretend to be going through boxes when someone checks on him
Bernard immediately messes up Tim’s plan
He’s always there- morning, night, even when Tim changes up his schedule
And no matter how many how many empty rooms there might be he always finds Tim and sits with him, even the time Tim tried to hide in the attic under the guise of organizing a couple boxes up there
Being the paranoid idiot that he is Tim assume that Bernard is a from the League of Assassins and enacts a 46-step plan to figure out what he’s planning (read: stalks him) and in the course of it ends up falling in love
Meanwhile on Bernard’s side, the first week of the internship he walked into the room Tim was in and wanted to be friends with the cute boy
The reason that he kept finding Tim was that he was talking to Dick Grayson, his gymnastics instructor, and Dick had realized that the boy in question was his honorary little brother and told Bernard that “Timmy’s shy, you just have to break down his walls to get to know him” and tells him when Tim’s going to the museum
Dick is well aware of what Tim thinks the situation is because he’s the one Tim rants to, but he thinks it’s funny and will make for a great story to tell at their wedding
#tim drake#dick grayson#bernard dowd#timbern#the real life version of this is far less cute and funny#I intern at my local museum along with about 20 kids from my school#i do not want to interact with these people so I always try to get to the archive room of the museum when no one else is there#Because you only really go into the archive room if your project has to do with organizing collections and catologing them#the first week I took note of which days the other two people whose projects are like that come#so I could avoid them and have the archive room to myself#so after I finished my work i could watch demon slayer in peace while still getting hours#but this one girl who’s project is working on the blog for the museum (does not need the archive room) keeps coming and sitting with me#it first happened like 4 weeks in so I assumed that there weren’t enough chairs in one the other rooms and that this was a one time thing#but it kept happening and when I moved to a different room she ended up sitting with me again#I happened to talk about this with a friend in passing#and my friend just started laughing because it turns out they were friends with the girl and she was trying to make friends with me#And i was an asshole who ignored her because i lowkey thought she was watching to make sure i was always working#I guess the next time i go I'll have an actual converstation with her instead of inquestive side-eyes
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i said this in the tags of another post but. the way that the desert always seems to PHYSICALLY pop up whenever scar and grian are together is insane. first them finding the only tiny patch of desert in double life, and now a desert appearing in front of them right as they're laughing together and riding on a llama camel. like we all know this but MAN. they seriously never left the desert. it's become a symbol of their past together, and they can't escape it.
#grian#goodtimeswithscar#desert duo#trafficblr#secret life smp#secret life spoilers#slsmp spoilers#serena.txt#this is genuinely driving me insane cause this is now a pattern. again this feels so intentional i can barely believe its real#the place where their relationship started keeps appearing now whenever they're together#it's so incredibly symbolic it makes me want to tear my hair out i need us to never stop talking about this please#edit: i think its also important to note that they werent LOOKING for a desert in either of these instances. they just randomly happened#upon it both times
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cass pls i'm scared ;;;;;
Dokdbfhfhfjfhf I'm sorry
#We are literally this 👌 close to the comfort#And then#nothing bad going to happen again#uh ok#something bad maybe#but nothing life threatening#I need to stop this train of thoughts#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt
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So basically ATLA brain rot has hit me like a truck
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#toph beifong#what happened was I was forced to watch the live action#which is actually pretty good if you get past the first few episodes#and if you don’t have someone in your ear telling you it’s awful the whole time#first episode is definitely the weakest and that’s 50% gran gran’s fault#aang and katara are also pretty flat but whatever#sokka’s good and zuko’s fantastic actually#they did goof on a few things but overall I think it’s a fun time#just don’t expect it to be as good as the cartoon and you’ll be okay#ANYWAY it got me missing toph#so i rewatched the blind bandit episode#and then wound up watching the entirety of books 2 & 3 in a few days#and now I’m brain rotted#which is especially weird considering when I first watched it I was like#yeah that was good! and then never thought about it again#i dunno what changed but i need help it’s taking over my life#wanted to draw Sokka too but he looks hard to draw#and i had enough trouble with these two#maybe someday#sorry for rambling in the tags goodbye
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