#like I just feel so isolated and unable to do anything about it

[flitterywings]

sitting here and thinking about everything that fell to the wayside in this past year and feeling terrible about it 🙂

[sublux]

what an absolutely exhausting couple of years i’ve had. i hope 2025 has something good in it for me

[badaseyebags]

excuse my ugly rant but damn do i feel empty.. i wonder if this feeling will ever stop or if it’s a permanent part of me.. i just wish it could stop

[lgbtlunaverse]

I've seen a good number of people ask a question along the lines of "why do characters like Falin and hate Laios when they're so similar?" and i've also seen good analysis on the differences in how the touden siblings carry themselves that would, despite their shared traits, make a person gravitate to one more than the other.

But i feel like we've overseen one very central thing here.

People don't like Falin

Like... the average person in dungeon meshi doesn't like Falin. She was deeply ostrasized by her home village, in magic school she had zero friends before Marcille and the others generally saw her as strange and a bit offputting.

Characters like Namari and Chilchuck like her well enough but not necessarily more than any other member of their party, including Laios. Neither Kabru nor his party think much of her. The canaries don't give a fuck about her. Toshiro's retainers don't see her as anything else than the weird foreign girl their boss has a crush on.

The reason we think everyone loves Falin is because, despite all the indifferent side characters, the 2 most important and central characters of the story are Laios and Marcille. Who are NOT representative of the average attitudes to Falin! But necromancy georg number 1 and 2 are our main eyes into the story and they love Falin so much that it colours our perspective of the whole world.

The only side character who qualifies as liking Falin and not Laios is Toshiro (at least at first, as he ends the story on much better terms with Laios) and that says a lot about his character, with him drifting to the quiet Falin precisely because of her oddness but being both uncomfortable with and deeply jealous of Laios' much more open expression of that oddness. Because he's a repressed guy from a culture where etiquette is incredibly important.

But like I said, that's a specific aspect of him, not to the world at large.

Because there's also people that click more with laios than with Falin.

Kabru, for one, who is initially distrustful of laios but clearly also deeply fascinated by him and drawn to him.

Minor spoilers, and you don't have to read too deeply into this, because I don't think Kabru particularly dislikes Falin or anything. But it's interesting that when he talks about his distrust of the toudens in ch.32 he's talking about them both. But his big friendship declaration in chapter 76 is aimed squarely at Laios, he doesn't say "you and your sister" he says "you"

And Senshi!! He instantly clicks with Laios, well before he does so with anyone else in the party– who he also becomes friends with, it just takes a bit longer– specifically because they bond over their shared special interest in monsters!! Senshi is kind towards Falin and cares for her wellbeing, but he also... doesn't know her. The reason he is even here, helping to save her, is because he and Laios bonded over monsters and he wants to help his new friends out!

Of course, the theme of neurodivergent isolation is very present in Laios' story. I'm not denying that. He does turn people off, without meaning to and unable to fully understand why! But so does Falin. And just like there are people who like her despite of or even because of those traits, there are people who do the same with him.

In conclusion: "Average person loves Falin and hates Laios" factoid actually statistical error. Average person is neutral on both Falin and Laios. Georcille, Laiorg and Geoshiro, who live in the dungeon and think over 10,000 Falin-loving thoughts a day, are statistical outliers adn should not have been counted.

[yanderenightmare]

♡ TW: stalking, yandere, anxiety, paranoia, isolation tactics

♡ GN reader

You’re anxious. You probably shouldn’t be, and you tell yourself that. You’re being silly. Utterly silly. It’s most likely just coincidences—a string of oddities, enough to freak you out. And you’ve always been too easily spooked.

You just happen to have the same situation and routine, is all. So what? You live in the same building, both of you grab coffee at the same cafe on your way to college, where you both happen to go, both of you get off at the same time despite having different classes, both of you go grocery shopping every Monday before coming home, and both of you do laundry down in the basement every Sunday before bed.

It’s not such an original schedule, you tell yourself. Jeez, he's not stalking you! No. It’s natural to buy everything at the start of the week and even more standard to do laundry at the end of it. It’s normal! Totally normal!

You’re just imagining the rest. The way he looks at you. You’re just freaking out because it’s your first time living alone, out in the big world, all on your own. He’s probably in the same shoes as you. New city, tiny apartment, big campus, long lectures, broke shit. 

Yes! That’s why he offered to do laundry together. One washer, one coin, one dose of detergent—that’s two for the price of one and half the price for both of you. Of course! That must have been it—and not any of the creepy things you’ve suspected. Obviously, he isn’t asking to do laundry together to steal your underwear like some freak—what are you even thinking!?

You’re such a bad person. It’s not like he’s done anything directly off-putting. Asking you over for dinner is a nice thing, after all. Again, it saves money and keeps you both company. It’s lonely living alone, after all. It’s not like you think it’s swell spending every evening with your nose in your textbook, just waiting for the school to plan a social gathering or something so that you can make some friends. 

You’re such a dumbass. Wanting to make friends, yet shunning the one friendly guy in your building just because he’s been a little too forward. It’s not as if he’s asked you out or anything! He’s just being nice! You’re the one being weird! Thinking weird things—condemning him of doing weird crimes he hasn’t even done!

“Hey, neighbor,” he says. Right on time, just like always. Doing his laundry at the same exact moment as you.

“Oh–hey,” you greet back.

It’s not weird, you have to remind yourself. You’re here on time, aren’t you? How come you’re allowed to be consecutive, but it’s suddenly weird when he is? How does that make sense? It doesn’t. You’re being paranoid.

Oh, but then he picks the empty washer right next to you, even though there are plenty of others to go around. No one else does their laundry at this hour.

He’s being friendly, you tell yourself. Neighbourly. It would be awkward if he chose a washer at the other end of the room, wouldn’t it? Yes. Yes, that would be awkward.

“D’you do anything fun this weekend?” he asks as he empties his basin into the tub, pouring a cub of powdered detergent over it—the same type you use.

Leaning against your machine, you watch him from out of the corner of your eye, trying to silence your inner thoughts—at least enough to not let any of your unfounded suspiciousness leak into your voice. “Mh-no, not really. I just studied. What about you?”

He turns the machine on, smiling lazily while saying, “Nah…” then turns around, mirroring your leaning stance, standing shoulder to shoulder. “Though I heard one of the frathouses had a party…”

He tilts his head down, looking at you—friendly-faced, asking, “You didn’t go?”

You try to stop yourself, but you blanche despite the effort. Head hot, you fold your arms over your chest, hugging yourself a little.

There was a party? When? This weekend? How come… nobody told you?

You swallow, unable to look back at him—suddenly feeling a little bit sick. 

“Uhm… no,” you say. “I didn’t feel up to it...”

His eyes slim at your obvious lie, but you don’t see it—now too wrapped up in your own embarrassment to pay attention.

His smile curls. You’re an open book if there ever was one.

But you don’t have to feel embarrassed. Of course, you didn’t go to the party. You didn’t even know there was one. And how could you? When he broke into your locker and took the invitation—just as he’s done with all the other party fliers every single week. 

“Not your thing?” he says, trying to hold back his glee.

You still don’t look at him—too chagrined—looking like you want to dig a hole and bury yourself in it. “I guess so…”

Oh, he could just lick that expression right off your cute little face.

“Not mine either,” he chuckles, rummaging through the bag at his hip, pulling out a book, and flashing the cover to you with a grin. “I’m more of a book club type of guy.”

You blink. Reading the title with big round eyes.

“Have you joined one yet?”

You look at him then, shaking your head, “Oh, no—uhm, I couldn’t decide…”

He hands you the book. You receive it in both hands. Your fingers brushing each other.

“You should join us then,” he offers. “You’re gonna get burned out if all you read is textbooks, y'know?”

He watches your eyes widen—looking like a peasant, beholding him as a saint who’s just offered you shelter from the storm.

“Thank you...”

♡ BNHA – Deku, Shinso ♡ JJK – Geto, Gojo, Megumi, Yuuta ♡ HQ – Sugawara, Kuro ♡ CSM – Aki, Yoshida ♡ AOT – Armin ♡ DS – Tomioka, Tanjiro, Zenitsu ♡ HxH – Kurapika, Leorio ♡ WB – Suo, Togame

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[sanemisstalker]

N/SFW. Minors DNI

CW: GN reader / Men's Mental Health IG ???

KNY characters that I think are more prone to cumming in their pants / NSFW

Giyu

-He's inexperienced.

-I admire the almost fandom consensus of him being either resident, sexy, black haired, quiet anime boy, and/or 'nobody likes this friendless loser, he definitely has a tumblr'

-Any attention, platonic or not, from someone he's attracted to is enough to make Giyu get an apparent boner. He's prone to them when the people he admires say genuinely nice things to him.

-He doesn't get to hear nice things a lot, nor does he take compliments easily, so when he believes them, his body can't help but believe them too.

-He'd rather it not be that way, but due to his floundering mental health, and general isolation, Giyu isn't jerking off very often, nor is he able to get it up when he wants to, so he just goes... months without thinking about it sometimes.

-Could definitely cum from kissing too hard. Not just kissing, but particularly the rough treatment.

-Giyu must be incredibly touch starved, I imagine. I can't fiction the last time he's hugged someone. That scene where he's holding Shinobu, perhaps?

-So when he's getting so much attention, especially so much positive, romantic attention, even if it's a little rough, I'm sure his dick would be at full mast.

-he doesn't think he's predisposed to masochism or anything. He'd hope he wasn't, but it feels better when he's kissing, and maybe his hair is being pulled on, just a little.

-he'd be very embarassed. He wouldn't cry or anything, but I think he'd get up and leave the room. He knows you knew what happened, he didn't moan, but he flinched because the build up was so immediate, and he just couldn't stop.

-How pathetic. He can't show his face infront of you ever again. All he does is ruin good things. You're definitely disgusted by him.

-Even if he didn't realize how pretty his face looked during his orgasm.

Gyutaro

-Everyday I fight the gyutaro incel allegations, and everyday I fail.

-Gyutaro is socially inept, to put it blatantly. He spends an incredible amount of time locked away in his sister, and rarely chooses to come out unless eating for the two, or-

-if he needs to jerk off. A rarity, nowadays. Looking the way he looks can do a real number on one's ability to self-pleasure. He also isn't able to seek out assistance from any brothels- He still looks the way he looks. He's no Muzan- blessed with the ability to change his appearance at will.

-So when you're on top of Gyutaro, and he feels the curve of your ass in his palm, and your sex is positioned right on top of his, just barely grazing his clothed cock, as you try and teach him how to kiss (he's doing his best, but he knows he's not good-)

-He cums, and he cums hard. He grips down on your hips, and goes wide eyed, unable to stop the moan that rips its way from his throat... and then quickly moves you off of him.

-He isn't even finished when he moves you, he's shakey armed, and he nearly drops you.

-he's mortified. After all this time, he finally gets someone willing to touch him, and he blows it. He's borderline inconsolable- switching between begging you not to look at him and begging you not to hate him-

-but the noise he made was just so... pathetic.

Haganezuka

-Men dedicated to their craft don't have time to cum? Silly of you to assume he's ever even seen another person naked. That would imply he looked away from a sword for long enough to register it.

-On a completely serious note (as serious as I can be writing this), It'd be quite awkward interacting with Haganezuka sexually. His mind has been so consumed by perfection that, even if he wasn't dedicated to the blade, he's almost prevented himself from ever being able to cum in a social setting.

-He's developed a phobia of new situations he can't control. Especially sexual ones. Swords are easy and gratifying. Why would he ever need to cum when he can just make a sword and have it be respected and revered. Wouldn't that be nice-

-So when you started rubbing him over his pants, he was, admittedly, panicking. It's not like he went nearly 4 decades without using his dick... He'd just... gone 2 and a half decades without using his dick. Nowhere near the same.

-You'd barely even touched it, barely even pressed your lips to his neck, and Haganezuka was panting.

-The fear coursing through his veins, and the attention his forgotten cock was receiving- He grew more unsightly by the second...

-and then you pressed a particularly soft kiss to the corner of his lips and he was done for. That was his first kiss-

-Though shocked, you'd pump Haganezuka through his orgasm. It'd be enough to go through his pants, and spill over your hand.

-He'd grip your robes, and will you closer to him. His heels would slam into the floorboard, and he'd try to bury his face in your neck, attempting to muffle the groan he'd loose, only to fail tremendously.

-He'd be huffy after. Mad at himself and disguising it as being mad at you.

-'Well, maybe you shouldn't touch me anymore, if you found it so gross! Did you consider that? Just not touching me- ever?'

-but you saw how sad he looked when you said you'd do whatever he wanted. What a simple man.

[cheekycheesecake01]

Angsty smut headcanons I made up of Mark Grayson. Please read disclaimer. 18+

DISCLAIMER & TW: Before I get into this, I wanna say that I am extremely new to the Invincible fandom and will be utilizing the canon events in the comic book series. For this reason, SA is mentioned, and as a victim myself, I believe that completely isolating rape victims from any source of sexual media reinforces the idea that we are nothing beyond our traumas. I shouldn't have to explain myself, and I won't elaborate any further. But sexuality can still thrive even after one is assaulted.

TW: Rape mentioned, sexual trauma, highlights of a victim's mental state afterwards including self-blaming, please filter this post if this is upsetting, I understand. This is by no means a noncon fic, these headcanons are about the aftermath of being assaulted and how it affects victims lives.

Please note that this is my first time ever openly writing about a character who is canonically a victim of sexual assault. I don't want to censor us out of media. We shouldn't be objectfied, but we shouldn't be treated as though we're broken or unable to be more than something that happened to us beyond our control. If you want to give me feedback, I'm very much welcoming of it. But understand that I'm not fetishizing Mark's trauma in any way, shape or form. In fact, I find him comforting, because I can relate to some elements of his story. This is supposed to acknowledge Mark's lore and to comfort the disturbed.

It's difficult for Mark to engage in anything after Anissa. But after a few therapy sessions, he did want to try again since... well, he loves you... and before she raped him, sex was a way for him to express his affection in the most intimate way possible.

It's not like the other cases where Mark takes control, because the thought of doing anything paralyzes him. What would be good for him? If it feels good, is it supposed to feel good or is he just convincing himself that it feels good? Did he even want this? Or did he coerce himself into thinking he wanted it?

You make sure to praise him whenever because you understand how difficult this is for him. You tell how strong he is for choosing to do this, how you love him so much, how you could be his hero, how he doesn't always have to do the saving.... you could save him. You could protect him... no matter the cost.

Everything feels like it's vanishing or falling apart.... but here, he has you to hold onto and trust. You're not like his father, or his enemies, or.... her.... god knows what you'd do to protect him. At last, everything feels manageable.... because he's got a hero flying him up to heaven.

[animeyanderelover]

I already did this concept with Dazai in those Hc's so I will not add him in here again.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, clinginess, manipulation, blackmailing, bribing, paranoia, attempted murder in Nikolai's part, isolation, abduction, death of reader in their previous world

Tags: @shumidehiro @izanami78 @leveyani

Isekai'd into their world

Nakahara Cuuya

🟠Bullshit! That’s the initial reaction that Chuuya has when he finds out. There’s a limit to how much he is willing to believe even though throughout his life he has seen some things you’d have to witness with your own eyes to believe in them. It is true that there is nothing about your past he has been able to dig up as your life has seemingly started the moment you were discovered by an elderly couple on the streets. You’ve always claimed that you couldn’t remember anything before you where found and since there has been nothing the police was able to find out about your past, they gave up on the case as you were slowly assisted into society. Chuuya doesn’t believe your claims though that you suffer from amnesia. He might be hotheaded but he’s been working for the Port Mafia for years now, has even been made an Executive. The one skill you develop in this position is to get a fairly good read on the person in front of you, on their body language as well as on whether or not they speak the truth or not. So whilst he has no solid proof about whether you lie to him or not, there is this intuition that he has in his guts that there is something you are hiding.

🟠His overprotective and paranoid thoughts tend to spiral so his first assumption is that maybe there is someone after you and that you’re on the run. If that is the case you don’t have to worry. Chuuya can and will provide protection if someone is after your life. The longer you remain silent about your past, the more impatient he grows. Chuuya hasn’t always been honest to you either, especially regarding his position in the Port Mafia. But you needlessly fuel his anxiety as you don’t reveal anything, only feeding his paranoid thoughts as he wonders what you could hide that is so atrocious that you don’t even want your lover to know. Yet when you tell him the truth finally, sensing that he is close to snapping, he gets mad at you. Are you mocking him?! Don’t lie to him now! He doesn’t believe you. He doesn’t believe you until you see yourself forced to reveal everything you know about him. You know about Sheep, about Arahabaki, about the Port Mafia and about so much more. Only then does he believe you. The truth did not ease his worries though. No, instead Chuuya feels betrayed. Betrayed that you have known everything about him from the very beginning.

🟠He can’t hide. He can’t pretend anymore either. What’s the use? You know everything about him. With no facade to hide anything anymore Chuuya grows weirdly aggressive yet vulnerable. He doesn’t know how he should deal with this situation where he had no control over what he reveals about you and what not. It is fucking weird to know that in your world he doesn’t even exist and is instead a fictional character. What do you even think about him when he stands in front of you? Do you even see him as a real person? With really nothing to lose anymore Chuuya just abducts you then and there, unable to come up with another solution on how to handle this situation. Obviously he doesn’t tell anyone else about you though as he himself has to properly come to terms with the truth. As heavy as the feeling of betrayal sits though, there’s also desperation and paranoia. Desperation because he feels like he deserves to find out more about you as well since you already know far too much about him and paranoia now that he understands that you’ve died before in your world. You can’t be fine after all that happened, right? He’s going to help you.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

🍎Fyodor has always deemed you to be someone who stands out from the common crowd, for reasons he doesn’t understand either. Perhaps it is because your eyes perceive what others can’t see as he will never forget his first encounter with you. The glimpse of pure fear in your eyes as you gazed at him, seeing the demon disguised as a man. The way your body flinched away from his touch as he reached out to you, sensing the doom that would befall you the moment he’d feel your body. Only very few people have ever been able to realise him for the higher being that he is and it is the fact that a common sinner like you sees right through him upon first meeting him that makes you special. Fyodor tests his theory out only once by cornering you, giving you no chance to hide behind others as you are left alone with him. The sadist in him is relishing in the untarnished fear he sees in your eyes, purple orbs gazing at you as you slowly move away from him. He doesn’t follow you but he doesn’t have to. You poor thing now can’t run away from him anymore. You’ve dared to catch the devil’s interest and for that you will greatly suffer for Fyodor only knows how to take and destroy.

🍎It is when he figures out that you have no past that you only deepen his obsession. It’s intriguing. No past sins to judge you by, no trace of an existence stained in impurity before you appeared in this city. No matter how much research Fyodor does, he’s unable to figure you out. You’re a mystery to him, to a messenger of God. Oh, it is indeed a dangerous game you are playing. What could you be possibly hiding from him that is so forbidden that not even he can know? It’s like you’re trying to trigger him and it is this lack of control, the inability to cast divine judgment upon you as you are incomplete without a past to hold you accountable for that leads Fyodor to do something he normally never does. He rushes the process slightly, lures you faster into the spider’s web until you are trapped. The first thing he asks of you to confess is your past, the one thing he can’t find out about you. What are you? Are you a sinner or are you something more? No normal human should be able to deprive him of information he can always gather. The time for your confession has finally come, the day of your judgement has at last arrived. Now then you little mouse, confess.

🍎If only you would know how much you fuel his obsession the moment you are forced to reveal the truth to Fyodor. A sinner always pays with death to free them of their sins yet you have already died in your own world before you were brought to his own. You are free, or at least freer, of sins than anyone else on this planet. So before this world can ruin you once more he is going to isolate you, to shield you from the impurities of this world. After all it is the duty of an angel to bring salvation to those who are worthy. Now he also understands why you were so afraid the moment you saw him. What was the first time for him to ever meet you was after all only the first time for you officially meeting him as you had seen him multiple times before as nothing more than a fictional character in your own world. Maybe there is a scientific explanation of how it is possible for you to be transported into a world that was only fictional in your old reality but Fyodor pushes another agenda onto you. Have you ever considered it to be the will of a higher being? Have you ever considered it to be a second chance given to you? Don’t you worry too much. He will help you flourish in this world.

Jouno Saigiku

♦️​BadumBadumBadumBadum. The melody of your heart when Jouno finds you one day stranded in an alleyway is certainly a good indicator of the fear and the anxiety currently swirling around inside your mind. Be assured though, he is here to help the little wounded puppy he's found himself right now. You'll just have to tell him who you are and where you are from and he'll get you safely back. That is at least the plan, the only problem is that you refuse his help. Hmm, that is strange. You're acting a bit suspicious, you know? Your little heart is telling him that his appearance seems to have only increased whatever stress you've already felt before. Is there something you're trying to hide from him? Even though his eyes are not able to perceive you, you don't strike Jouno as someone who has done something wrong that would force him to take actions against you. Still, he interrogates you, at least until he has gotten his confirmation that you haven't done anything criminal nor plan to do so. Technically that should be enough yet your heartbeat still hasn't calmed down. He's the reason. You're afraid of him. A reaction that usually only the bad guys have when seeing him.

♦️​The Hunting Dogs are heroes even internationally, normally citizens like you rejoice when seeing him. There are still things he'd like to ask you but you actually seem to gather some courage, tell him shortly that he has no reason to keep you trapped any longer since he has gotten his comfirmation. He isn't exactly pleased with the tone you use but he lets you go, though he's still quite dissatisfied with what he has gotten. As if fate is smiling down upon him though he soon has the pleasure to meet you again. You're still as close-lipped as the first time he met you but since he has now figured out where you work he decides to make acquaintances with your co-workers who are far more talkative. He can sense you standing there in the corner, your heartbeat going crazy as they tell him that you've recently started working here and haven't told them much about your past either. So you really just keep it a secret from anyone. That only makes him more curious, you know? With his position it is relatively easy to gather intel on you though it is when he is served with little to nothing that he truly starts realising that you must carry quite the secret around.

♦️​That is the kickstart of his obsession as he wants to figure out what it is you are hiding. What is the dark secret you don't want anyone to know about? His only clue lies in you and so he torments you with his visits, constantly attempting to guess what it is you are hiding only to never figure it out. How could he have known that you died in your previous life only to be reincarnated into a world that was purely fictional in your old world? It is after the abduction that you are left with no choice but to spill out the truth and as much as he would like to ridicule you for such an otherwise blatant lie, your heart is not lying. You're actually speaking the truth. And Jouno doesn't know how to reply to that, just staring at you with a furrowed face as if considering what the best response or even best reaction is to the truth he has so desperately wanted to know for so long now. You think that you see a glimmer of unease appearing on his face before he suddenly bends down, his hands grasping your chin. Just how much do you know about him? Even though you are his beloved Saigiku has ever considered revealing too much to you yet perhaps you already know too much, leaving him strangely vulnerable.

Nikolai Gogol

🕊️​To Nikolai you have always been entertaining. He has the fondest memories of the both you meeting for the first time, a sentiment you most likely don't share with him. After all it was obvious from the very first encounter that all that you felt for him was dread even though his disguise should have been immaculate, able to fool anyone else. He hides his sinister and twisted character when he needs to do so yet you have seen right through him and it is this seemingly keen intuition of yours that has gotten him so invested in you. Nikolai has never meant for this interest of yours to stay nor to develop into a burning passion that threatens to rip him off the wings he so desperately hopes to obtain. The demon threatening to steal his soul is none other than you, his crooked feelings for you spinning and turning as Nikolai finds himself trapped between two clashing desires. One is to obtain his freedom by murdering you, another one is his desire to keep you and share his sad fate of isolation and oppression due to his own feelings with you. It is a constant inner fight and more than just once has he considered ending your puny life yet there is one factor that ultimately stops him.

🕊️​He plans to torment you, to ruin the life you have so carefully built for yourself and the freedom you have in it yet it is the little information he can gather that has him pausing. No family, no friends, no past. You are essentially like a ghost who appeared overnight. He has no past which he could use to chain you down, nothing personal he could hold against you and that knowledge that he can't properly oppress you unless he knows about it torments him and only infuriates him more as if you were indirectly mocking him. Fine, he'll cut the games short then. When you wake up the next time, it is in a little cage with a cheerful Nikolai asking you how you're doing and if you have slept well. That grin only widens and turns into somethin hideous when he sees your eyes overflowing with fear. Yes~ Let that fear corner you and tie you down. Share your suffering with his own. There is still something, you precious dove, that he really needs to know. Only then can he fully drag you down to the bottom of despair with him after all. You need to tell him a bit more about your past. Your family. Your friends. He needs them for his plans. Imagine his surprise when he sees the relief appearing on his face.

🕊️​That grin on his face disappears as he realises the truth, even if only for a short moment. It isn't the fact that you are from a different world, it isn't that you died in your previous world either that sobers him down for one or two seconds. It is the realisation that you will always be freer than he will be. There are no family, no friends, no pets he could use to play with and to break you with. There is no information he can obtain about you unless you tell him yet here you are, knowing already so much about him since he was a fictional character in your old world. Half of your wings he will never be able to clip off. For one frightening moment his hands suddenly wrap around your neck and start squeezing down with enough force to have you gasping and choking before all of a sudden he lets go, leaving you to cough for air. When he bends down he has put on that playful appearance once more, whispering to you that it's still too early for you to die. He must say, you managed to catch him off guard for a moment there but that's alright. If things are more difficult there are more entertaining after all. He will make sure to plug every single feather off of your wings until you're just as broken as him.

[pavosnoctua]

cw: yandere, isolation, forced imprisonment, kidnapping mentions, mdni. diluc and his complex. mentions of phys. harm but not from diluc. dubcon ment. pregnancy ment. afab reader. slight ooc on dilucs end.

blank blogs and minors dni

not my best work but the plot bunnies were working (part two might come)

You don't sleep often anymore and it worries him - you pace late at night, mumbling to yourself like some madwoman and he thinks of hiring the best physicians to see if you are okay. But the last time he did that, that had you upset and telling him to fuck off. He'd saved you, he tells himself, from the people who hit and made you cry.

Diluc misses your energy now - your spark, the thing that vindicated him and irritated him and...the only reminder you were still alive.

"Beloved, it is late." he tells you, unable to avert his eyes from your bosom, swallowing heavily as a familiar hunger overtakes him. Indecently dressed - no, appropriately dressed for bed time. But yet...he makes a mental note to have the maids get rid of all these outfits that show off too much.

Nobody else is allowed to see you in such clothes if you insist on pacing the halls like some poltergeist. You do not respond, only stepping past him to continue your nightly, hours long path.

"Bed, my beloved. You will see the sun in the morning."

"I can't sleep." you tell him, bluntly. "I cannot go outside, you have me under lock and key - I simply wish to move about."

"I allow you to help Adelinde with the chores indoors." he argues and draws in a deep breath. No - no, he won't fall for your bait. The bait that has you feeling self righteous and angrier, ammo for arguments later. "Is that not enough?"

"No! It's barely anything! Dusting here and there, organize the shelves. You never have me do tasks that could cause even just a bruise!" You're tired, sleep deprived. Energetic, yet feeling sluggish and exhausted.

And Diluc stares at you. It's a disconnected thought.

"Come back to bed with me love, we'll figure it out." There's distrust in your eyes but you obey, because arguing while you're tired gives him an advantage. Archons, forgive him because you won't.

When your head hits the pillow after you accept a drink from him - resigned, accepting, incapable of fighting at this time - he's relieved to find that you're even more tired.

"Love, I know a way to...get what we both want." Archons, forgive him.

"If - if we have sex," you murmur, understanding in your tired state. "Will I earn more privileges?"

"Yes." It's half a lie.

And he repeats, Archons forgive him.

Diluc marvels at your wet heat at first penetration - he wants to stay like this but can't. If this goes on too long, you will get upset. At least, for now, he has you.

Your privileges come with how much you're willing to agree to - and outside is precious, so you agree to a lot. You still barely sleep, but your pacing as stopped and he has you in his arms every night.

Your mouth is always soft and warm, and the perfumes from your baths are always enticing for him - his favorite scents. How he adores you.

Red marks on your neck - you complain he bites too much. You complain about him cumming inside. But you moan sweetly for him. Nicely. Desperately. Your breasts are starting to swell and there's all the telltale signs.

And yet -

All good things come to an end - when you are in tears as your growing belly, all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. Diluc is elated. He's always wanted children.

He ignores your little no's as he kisses you more - after all, your freedom has come at a price and he is not a man who breaks promises.

[calware]

oo ooo i saw your posts on june and vriska in rapid succession so i wanted to ask: what makes vriska a trans character? if you can’t articulate it yourself, can you lead me to someone who can?

sorry it took me so long to respond to this; it's just that there's truly so much to say. WARNING this post is so so long

vriska being a trans woman has been incorporated in official homestuck works like pesterquest and homestuck 2, which i could start with, but i think it's better to start with how it was conceived of by fans. i've only been around the fandom since mid-2019, so i can't give a very detailed overview of anything before that year, but i can tell you that for years, fans have picked up on themes from her character that resemble and represent the experiences of trans women and transfemininity overall. because of this, i'm going to be linking quite a few posts from others, both because i would otherwise just be repeating something someone else has said but also because it's these readings that have influenced my own reading of the text. this is a topic that is, at times, very subjective, and because of that, i think it's important to recognize that everyone has a slightly different reading—even if it all adds up to the same conclusion—and i want to be able to show the ideas that my reading stems from

before i get into the transfem reading of her, we have to first be on the same page on what her character is telling us within the story. in general, vriska is an incredibly complex and nuanced character, so there is a lot to jump into right off the bat. the fairly surface-level understanding we can get from vriska is that from birth, she was intentionally and deliberately molded into a weapon by the people around her. this leads to a lot of problems, obviously, but focusing on how this affects her is the important part here. she faces daily expectations on how to behave and feel; she's supposed to kill for survival, and she's supposed to like it, to the point where she's desensitized to it. this leads to her not growing healthily; she desperately wants to be more mature than she really is, she struggles to maintain friendships, etc.

Everything about what's happening here is wildly overcompensatory, meant to repair damage she's done without really having to face what it is she actually did. Aradia's extremely passive nature as a ghost makes her an easy target for this kind of overbearing attention. Because what Vriska seems to want most is acknowledgement, and more importantly, to foster strong reactions. Good or bad, love or hatred, this seems to be what she demands from everyone. So for that reason, Aradia's impassivity seems to add fuel to Vriska's sycophantic need to make amends. Not caring much one way or another about what Vriska does is guaranteed to drive Vriska crazy. Neutrality is insufferable to her because it makes her feel irrelevant. Being irrelevant is her biggest fear and ultimate enemy. She struggles to keep herself in the spotlight, and when the narrative is finally done with her and tosses her into the gutter, she fights her way back into relevance. Fighting against the forces of narrative marginalization completely define her entire batshit arc, from her introduction here all the way to the end of Homestuck. – Author Commentary

more notably, on friendships, she lashes out (as she has only been taught to do), which drives others away from her. then, when she doesn't know how to cope with the loss, she lashes out further, creating a vicious cycle

she also looks at the hardships she (along with everyone else) endures and has accepted them as "normal life"

she enforces that on others (tavros, most blatantly) as 1) the only way she knows how to "help" and 2) out of anger for others finding peace when she is unable to. with all of this together, she is consistently regarded in bad faith by others (both in and out of the story), becoming more and more isolated

it's only when terezi (through john) gives her a second chance that she's able to break the initial cycle

now, if you've never thought about it before, you might be wondering, "what does this have to do with her gender" and to that i will remind you that most aspects of alternian society are heavily gendered. for example, lord english/doc scratch's oppressive influence on the planet is a pretty strong symbol for the patriarchy, and practically every instance of oppression on alternia goes hand-in-hand with misogyny in some way. another one of these aspects is the castes themselves; highbloods specifically are referred to as male-dominated castes, putting vriska in a masculine context, something she strongly pushes back against. she leans into femininity with desperation (i.e., asking kanaya to sew a dress for her mindfang/summoner roleplay). and, to that point, she idolizes her ancestor in both her ruthlessness AND femininity. going even further, she does this to the point where she forces herself into a specific conventional feminine ideal—not because it's what she wants to be, but because it's what she thinks a woman should be. she struggles hard with her role not just in the cerulean caste, but also as a woman. as she does with her caste, she consistently fails to live up to gender expectations, unable to be a woman "correctly" in the eyes of society. it's a bootstrap paradox. again, these things go hand-in-hand. now, that's a pretty broad overview of everything, but this post is already pretty long, so we're going to move on

now we can look at it through a transfeminine lens, asking "what would a transfem reading of the character add to what already exists?" there probably isn't anything i could say that hasn't already been said by victoria (doomsdaydicecascader) so i'll link her thoughts here

another analyst i feel is crucial to include is valerie (stabvariation), who has a collection of posts on their own transfem vriska reading. make sure to click through all of them and come back here (this is an older blog of theirs btw, their listed pronouns are outdated, they go by they/them). the reason i bring up valerie in particular is that during the 2019 toblerone hunt, someone found one of the toblerones and, in continuation of the june reveal, saw an opportunity to pitch transfem vriska to the current team (they mention an essay, but i'm not sure if it was ever completed as i was never able to find it). that last post by valerie is the pitch; we can assume that it worked because 7 days later, vriska's pesterquest route was released with some pretty direct indications to her being a trans woman. this is where we leave the Fandom zone and enter the Official zone. we are no longer being subjective and are now being objective

(which to me means that their posts hold some significant weight, in my mind. and, even if it was by coincidence, and this had been written into the story in advance, i think they make good points and that they're worth including)

outside of pesterquest, vriska's now-official transfemininity has been given some nods in HSBC with the hell-tier rungs:

now, nods are nice, but the meat/significance/message/etc of this implication is once again on the reader to extract from the text (back to the subjective zone). for example, ado (gendertrickster) posted a reading on how vriska's recent developments as a character intersect with her being trans, which to me makes me think about the demonization of transfemininity throughout our society and the stigma that surrounds trans women... especially in the context of caring for children due to stereotypes of being predatory, & the fact that she's done the work to improve herself and break the cycle adds another layer to her development as the new kids' pseudo-guardian. vriska being a trans woman changes the context of this development significantly, making it 100 times more meaningful to her arc overall. and i'm sure that there are other things to add to this as well, but hopefully by now you get the point

something i want to mention before i wrap this post up is that i place emphasis on subjectivity/objectivity and what originates from the fans vs. official content not because i see subjective/fan readings as necessarily lesser than what's officially stated or what's word of god. i'd argue that they both have their own unique strengths. i think that there's a lot of power in being able to form your own perception of a work of fiction, or where readers build off of each other's ideas. what does it mean to YOU? granted, most of the time, fandom takes just kind of suck. but i think that this is one of those special cases where people came together to make a really meaningful reading of an already significant and impactful character. the stength of something being official (or even "canon") is that it's an undeniable representation of a marginalized community, something else that holds power on its own. but i want to recognize that it doesn't mean much without you being able to look at the text, read between the lines, and decide what you think it MEANS (let alone deciding if those official works are actually "good"..... frankly i think vriska's pq route could have been better). anyway i just wanted to elaborate on my thought process with the way i wrote this post & view these sorts of discussions in general)

did anyone actually read this extremely long post? (and yes, the linked posts do count). if you made it all the way down here i'm giving you an award

[yanderes-galore]

Can you do yandere Ancients Hero reaction when they figure out reader marry them only because of their status, power and wealth not because reader love them ? I crave for some angst.

I usually don't do this many characters so the HCs will be short... However, I feel certain CRK characters are a package deal.

Yandere! Ancient Heroes with Darling betraying them

(Small HCs - Excludes White Lily due to plot)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Self depreciation (Pure Vanilla), Delusional behavior, Angst, Kidnapping/Imprisonment, Worship yandere (Pure Vanilla), Denial, Possessive behavior, Isolation, Golden Cheese is your sugar mommy, Dubious/Forced relationship.

Pure Vanilla

Pure Vanilla attempts to be understanding of your betrayal.

It does break his heart into just about a million crumbs... However, Pure Vanilla seems like he'd just blame himself for your betrayal.

After all, if you used him... Then he must have done something wrong.

Pure Vanilla is probably the easiest one to manipulate.

He's so caught up in what feels like 'true love' that he doesn't notice you aren't genuine at first.

Ever kiss, every hug... it all felt like you loved him.

He's convinced you love him.

He values your input and consent, he dedicates himself to you fully.

Even the wedding is rather traditional, him kissing you by the altar as you become united.

At first, Pure Vanilla is deep in his fantasies.

He's convinced you're perfect, practically worshipping the ground you walk on despite being a king.

Although... Soon you show your true colors.

You become distant and only act affectionate to fool those around you.

Pure Vanilla quickly becomes... delusional.

Maybe you're just in a mood?

Maybe he's done something wrong?

He's unable to think that you're uninterested in him.

He's given you so much... yet he's so willing to give you everything just so you love him.

He's a submissive yandere, constantly buying you gifts and offering affection just for your attention.

He doesn't want to lose you.

In fact, he allows you to have anything you want as long as it means he won't be alone.

You want power and fame? Fine...

Just don't leave him... Please love him

He's not manipulative, you're the one manipulating you.

He'll be your submissive husband and toy if it means he doesn't feel alone.

While it hurts him that your love isn't exactly as he imagined...

Pure Vanilla will be compliant, willing to be your little pawn and be used in whatever way you wish...

All he asks for in return is for you to at least pretend to love him... or love him genuinely at some point.

Hollyberry

Hollyberry is delusional, just not believing you're using her.

Part of her probably knows better, telling her a sweet cookie like you was just using her.

However, she's always been a rather jolly soul.

She's a cookie who loves to party, who cherishes friendship and happiness above everything else.

She no doubt met you at one of her grand parties and fell for you.

You were such a sweet cookie for her... She couldn't help but want to smother you.

Hollyberry is an intense lover, alway dragging you for drinking and dancing.

You were simply putting up an act, knowing if you tolerate her behavior you can have access to her kingdom.

Hollyberry is overwhelming, giving you all sorts of courtship gifts.

She's affectionate and loud... Especially when she proposes.

She wants to wed you, to make you her sweet spouse!

You accept, after all, you're after power.

Afterwards you become apathetic to Hollyberry's many parties and affection.

She doesn't understand it, it probably doesn't occur to her that you're trying to use her.

She just assumes you're feeling insecure and tries to help you feel better through more parties and contests.

She's all sweet smiles, holding you close and claiming loudly that she adores you.

It isn't until you break her fantasy by snapping at her that you don't love her that she gets upset.

She doesn't want to believe that.

She tells you that you must just be... overwhelmed.

She'll try to give you your space... but she'll be back to love you!

Hollyberry is either oblivious or willingly ignoring the fact you're using her.

Who cares? She has you and she can love you all she wants now!

Sure, maybe you don't love her now...

Yet maybe she can change that with enough dedication to show you you're perfect together!

Dark Cacao

Dark Cacao is stern and no doubt forces you to be corrected.

He's a cookie focused on protecting his subjects and kingdom.

He has had his fair share of usurpers in his long life.

I imagine it takes a long time for him to get attached to you due to all of his experiences.

Unfortunately, you abuse such trust.

You whisper sweet words to him, giving him soft smiles that melt his cold heart.

The stoic ruler's facade cracks around you, making him go a bit soft as he speaks with you.

Dark Cacao thought he could trust you, he thought he could finally find someone to love after so many years.

You two would spend many long snows together, perhaps even sharing kisses in secret.

Soon enough Dark Cacao gives you what you want... He marries you to make you his.

All he really wants is to make you his, to protect you like he does his kingdom.

Things went well... the wedding was dark and small, yet it meant so much to him.

Yet... months later you snap his trust in half, like it doesn't matter.

As time goes on, you become colder to him, often trying to take over his duties.

It isn't long before you slip up and Dark Cacao realizes you're simply another usurper using his vulnerability against him.

While he'd normally have you executed... He can't.

Even after you betrayed him, he still married you because he loved you.

So... He takes a different approach.

He punishes you... forcing you to be isolated and only allows himself to see you.

He orders for you to be sealed in a private cell in the dungeons.

Guards often watch you unless Dark Cacao is there.

He didn't wish to imprison his love... He was hoping he could take a chance.

He was hoping he could find someone to love and support him.

However... If you're simply going to betray him...

He'll force you to crave him.

He'll isolate you, he'll be the only cookie you properly see.

If you don't love or need him like he does with you...

He'll just mold you into the way he wants you to be, just to have that happy ending he craves.

Golden Cheese

Golden Cheese may make things transactional between you if it means she still garners your attention.

After all, you both have a certain greed to you.

Sheesh... if you just wanted riches, you could've told her!

Golden Cheese is willing to smother her obsession in golden riches as long as you love her.

Essentially, with no other way to say it, Golden Cheese would just be a sugar mommy to you.

If you marry her, be a part of her kingdom, and pledge yourself to be hers as her most beloved treasure...

She'd practically give you anything in exchange for your worship.

At first when she's courting you she's already giving you all sorts of gold.

She pampers you in affection, sitting you in her lap as she peppers you in kisses.

It isn't surprising that she proposes to you, wanting your hand in marriage.

She does it out of greed, no doubt to keep you in her kingdom.

So, this is just two greedy people benefiting from each other.

When she notices you acting colder or prioritizing riches over her... She's both hurt and impressed.

Ah, no wonder she fell for you...

You're just as greedy as her.

She'll confront you, tell you she knows your whole plan... then give you a choice.

She could simply have you thrown into the dungeons until you learn to respect her and her kingdom... or...

She could make this so you both benefit.

You can have anything you want but her Soul Jam... in return, she just asks you to worship and love her.

You're both greedy cookies, yes?

Why not satiate both of your desires?

While she is originally hurt... Golden Cheese is quick to use your greed against you.

Sure... you can have fame and riches...

So long as you promise yourself to her and no one else, she'd practically give you the world.

[dovesdreaming]

Whispers of forever

Summary: shy reader and Neil Perry meet when they’re partnered up for a poetry assignment. They’re love blossoms throughout it.

Request

Masterlist

Warnings: none

-

The school bell echoed through the hallway, signaling the end of another tedious English class. Neil Perry gathered his books, ready to bolt out of the classroom, when the teacher's voice halted him. "Everyone a moment please”. You froze in your seat as Mr. Keating gestured for people in pairs to go to the front of his desk. When it was your turn he called Neil Perry up along with you, you’d always admired Neil from afar, his confidence, his smile that lit up any room, and the way he seemed to carry a lightness that made him stand out among your classmates. The idea of being paired with him for anything made your heart race.

"You two will be working together on the upcoming poetry project” Mr. Keating said with a knowing smile. "I think you’ll make a fine team”. Neil grinned, clearly unfazed. "Sounds great, Mr. Keating”. You nodded, unable to muster up anything more than that. Your voice had a tendency to get caught in your throat when you were nervous, and right now, it felt like you were trying to swallow a whole apple. "Alright, I'll let you both get to it”. Mr. Keating said, turning back to his desk as the last few students filed out. "Remember, make it extraordinary!".

Once outside the classroom, Neil turned to you, his bright smile warming the chilly hallway. "So, Y/N, do you have any ideas?.Your mind blanked for a moment before you managed to stammer out, "M-Maybe we could, um, meet in the library after school? We can start brainstorming." Neil's smile widened. "Perfect. I’ll see you there at 4?". You nodded again, the butterflies in your stomach doing cartwheels. You watched him walk away, wondering how you were going to survive working on a project with someone like Neil Perry without making a complete fool of yourself.

At just before 4pm you arrived at the library, your nerves bubbling up again. You’d chosen a table tucked away in a quiet corner, hoping the isolation might help calm you down. You pulled out your notebook, pretending to review your notes, though your thoughts were completely scattered.

"Hey, Y/N!" Neil’s voice cut through your nervous thoughts. He slid into the seat across from you, his smile just as bright as it had been earlier. "I hope you didn’t have to wait too long”. “N- Not at all” you replied, trying to meet his gaze. His eyes were warm, and there was something about the way he looked at you, like he actually wanted to be there with you, that made your nerves settle, just a little. “So” Neil began, pulling out his own notebook. "I was thinking we could start by choosing a theme. Something that resonates with both of us. Any ideas?". You bit your lip, your mind racing. "Um... what about... the idea of freedom? Like... breaking away from expectations?". Neil’s eyes lit up. "I love that. It's something that feels really personal to me, too”. He paused, a hint of seriousness in his tone. "Sometimes, it feels like everyone’s watching, waiting for you to be something… you’re not”. You nodded, surprised by the vulnerability in his words. "I know what you mean”. He looked at you for a moment, his expression softening. "I’m glad we’re doing this together, Y/N. I think we can make something really meaningful”. You felt your cheeks heat up under his gaze. "Me too”.

As you started to bounce ideas off each other, the initial awkwardness began to fade. Neil was patient, encouraging you to share your thoughts and making you feel like every idea you had was valuable. His passion for the project was contagious, and soon you found yourself getting more comfortable, more excited. Days passed, and every meeting brought you closer. You started to see sides of Neil that surprised you. His thoughtfulness, his insecurities, the depth of his emotions. And he, in turn, seemed to notice the little things about you, like how your eyes sparkled when you talked about a topic you were passionate about, or how you would absentmindedly twirl a strand of hair when you were talking and even how you bit your lip when concentrating.

It was after one particularly late study session that something shifted. The library was nearly empty, the sun setting outside, casting a warm glow through the windows. You were both laughing over a joke Neil had made when the laughter died down, leaving a comfortable silence in its wake. “Y/N” Neil said softly, his gaze locking with yours. "I… I really enjoy spending time with you”. Your heart skipped a beat. "I enjoy it too, Neil”.

He reached out, gently covering your hand with his. "I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re… you’re different in a good way and I can’t get enough of it”. You stared at his hand on yours, warmth spreading from where his skin touched yours. “I’m just… me”. And that’s enough," Neil whispered. "More than enough”.

The moment hung in the air, thick with unspoken words. You looked up at him, and for the first time, you saw a hint of nervousness in his eyes, mirroring your own. Slowly, as if testing the waters, Neil leaned forward, giving you plenty of time to pull away. But you didn’t. Instead, you met him halfway, your eyes fluttering closed as his lips brushed against yours in the gentlest of kisses. It was brief, sweet, but it held a promise of more, of something real and tangible that had grown between you over the weeks. When you pulled back, Neil’s smile was softer, more tender. “Let’s make this project something unforgettable” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. "Together”.

And as you sat there, hand in hand, you couldn’t help but feel that this was just the beginning of something extraordinary.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

The autumn leaves had turned shades of amber and gold, crunching beneath your feet as you and Neil walked side by side through the woods behind Welton Academy. The crisp air was filled with the earthy scent of fallen leaves, and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace whenever you were out here with him. The poetry project had long since been completed, earning you both top marks, but more importantly, it had been the start of something far more meaningful.

Now, a few months into your relationship, things felt as natural as the changing seasons. Neil’s hand was warm in yours, his thumb tracing lazy circles on the back of your hand as you wandered deeper into the woods, the sounds of the school fading into the background. He had suggested the walk earlier that day, claiming he needed a break from studying, and you had been more than happy to oblige. Any excuse to spend time with him was a good one.

Neil slowed his pace, eventually stopping altogether in a small clearing. The ground was blanketed with leaves, and the trees overhead created a canopy that filtered the afternoon sunlight into soft, golden beams. He turned to face you, his expression soft, his eyes full of something that made your breath catch. “You know” he said, his voice low and warm, "when we first started working together, I never imagined we’d end up here. But now… I can’t imagine my life without you in it”. His words made your heart race, and you felt a familiar shyness creep up, though it was tinged with the warmth of knowing he felt the same way. "I feel the same, Neil. You’ve made everything so much… brighter”. Neil’s smile was tender as he gently tugged you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a loose embrace. You leaned into him, resting your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Being in his arms felt like the safest place in the world, a sanctuary from all the pressures and expectations that weighed on both of you.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Y/N” he murmured into your hair. "I just wanted you to know that." You closed your eyes, letting the moment sink in. "You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me too, Neil”.

For a while, you simply stood there together, wrapped up in each other and the quiet of the woods. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in this perfect little bubble. Eventually, Neil pulled back slightly, just enough to tilt your chin up so he could look into your eyes. “You’re beautiful, you know that?" he said, his voice full of sincerity. You felt your cheeks heat up, but you didn’t look away this time. Instead, you smiled, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair away from his forehead. "You’re not so bad yourself, Perry”. He chuckled softly before leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, and finally, your lips. The kiss was soft, unhurried, full of the unspoken emotions that had been building between you. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the cool air. “Let’s stay like this forever” he whispered. You nodded, your heart full to bursting. "Forever”.

And in that moment, with the golden leaves falling gently around you, it felt like maybe, just maybe, forever was within reach.

-

Thank you for reading! Please request more dps

[gay-dorito-dust]

Heavily Inspired by @dreamdragonkadia own amazing Percy x hades!reader fic.

Part 2

Disagreements between the two children of hades were never easy ones to walk away from, especially not when it’s Nico that said the words that made you wonder how long he was sitting on for.

‘You’re not her you know.’ He tells you in the heat of the moment.

You scoffed, looking at the boy you considered a younger brother. ‘I’m very much aware I’m not and I’m glad I’m not too,’ you smiled humourlessly as you add, ‘because if that’s the logic we’re going by in this argument, then you’re not my brother.’ You finished and you watched Nico’s eyes widen in pain and panic before narrowing into a glare as to hide how your words hit him square in the chest.

‘I’m glad we’re on the same page then.’ He spat before disappearing in the shadows, leaving you alone in your shared cabin that felt all that more isolating and cold now that you were the only person in it. It hurt you to hurt your sibling in such a way but what else could you do when he always tried to compare you to a ghost of his past? After all you’ve done for the boy, after all you’ve done to protect him on missions it seemed like no matter what you did, you’d always be second place to Bianca to him, but you knew that it wasn’t okay to think about it; but sometimes you wished you were the only child of hades if that’s was the treatment that awaited you from your younger siblings.

Nico had been through so much, lost so much and had a tendency to hold onto things when he’s better off letting go, but according to him you weren’t his sibling so it wasn’t your job to tell him this, you felt a wave of guilt and sadness crash down upon you as worry for Nico filled you: something you quickly shrugged off as nothing as you stubbornly refused to run after him like you would’ve once upon a time ago. Nico was old enough to deal with his own issues and emotions without you having to baby him through it.

So instead you took your jacket and left the cabin to head down the lake in hopes that by being close to the body of water would help make you forget about your spat with Nico; It doesn’t work and your sat on the wooden dock glaring at your own reflection, only to see a glaring Nico looking right back at you.

You two really were siblings even if it was just through your godly father. You’re both stubborn, tend to hold grudges, vengeful when wronged, amongst many others and it only left you more annoyed but before you could do anything a voice called from behind you.

‘Hey.’ Luke smiled as he jogged down to you, ‘I was wondering where you were,’ he then notices the look upon your face and his smile dropped from his face as concern but knowing look took over, ‘fight with Nico again huh?’ He asks as he sits himself close next to you and grab one of your hands, squeezing it in hopes of bringing you comfort.

‘What’s new then being compared to his sister.’ You replied sarcastically but Luke could tell that Nico’s words hurt you deeper then you’d ever admit, for Luke remembered the moment you met Nico you’ve done everything in your power to keep him happy and safe, Luke knew this better than anyone as he also remembered the way your eyes light up the moment you found out you had a brother; No longer would you be alone in your cabin or at your table at the dinning pavilion anymore now that you had a little brother.

Luke knew you loved Nico more than anything in your entire life and could see it in the way you developed a reckless attitude towards his safety to go as far as to risk your own life for his. So Luke knew that every fight you had with Nico only left you feeling a whole variety of feelings, that had you unable to go back to the dark cabin for a week, not that Luke minded you bunking with him in the Hermes cabin during this time.

‘You and Nico are both so alike that arguments are bound to be more commonplace between the two of you.’ Luke said as he threw an arm over your shoulder and brought you into his side, kissing your forehead. ‘But if Nico is anything like you then he’ll come running back and ask for his sibling back.’

‘I told him he wasn’t my brother.’ You said with no emotion in your voice, looking at Luke with tears in your eyes, unable to forgive yourself for saying such a thing even if it was best in the moment. ‘What kind of sibling says that to another?’ You added rhetorically as your hands gripped on the hades mythomagic card that Nico left for you, the hurt only becoming worse when you remembered that he gave you it because it was the only card you didn’t have; your brother gave one of his own cards to complete yours even if it meant leaving his incomplete.

Unconditional love that only a brother would have towards his older sibling and you hated how you were both becoming.

‘Did you mean it?’ Luke asks.

‘No, never-‘ you began.

‘Then Nico will know that you didn’t.’ Luke cuts you off, giving you a soft smile. ‘That kid adores you to Tartarus and back even if he doesn’t admit it, I know that right now your both hurting right now but that hurt will pass and you’ll come back together stronger then before.’

‘How do you know that will happen?’ You whispered as the feeling of tiredness had begun to seep into your bones now that you were with the one person who could comfort you. Luke moved so that he was sitting behind you and pulled you flushed so that your back was pressed against his front, resting his head atop of your shoulder as you both overlooked the lake. ‘I know because if the children are anything, they’re stronger together, a unit in knowing that you have each other’s backs no matter what despite all the arguments you may have.’ Luke says as he presses a kiss to your cheek, tightening his hold on you as he felt you grasp his arms in response for comfort, wanting nothing more then to give they to you during this sensitive time. ‘You’ve only got each other and neither one of you are stupid enough to throw that all away. Okay?’

‘Okay.’ You swallowed thickly as you could only look at your reflection once more, only seeing yourself looking back this time, as your mind wondered back to Nico and whether he was okay and if he was safe; unknowing of the fact that Nico was thinking the exact same things in regards to you.

[awkward-walking-potato]

Beautiful Darkness

It was hard feeling like an outsider even within the community which was meant to accept you, until someone notices you.

Like always my requests are open!

The world had always feared your powers. They were a manifestation of darkness, something that seeped from within you, an ever-present shadow that twisted and turned, hungry and insatiable. Where others controlled fire, light, or the elements, you controlled something far more sinister. Your power was the ability to manipulate shadows, to bring forth the hidden fears and nightmares lurking in the minds of others. It was a gift, but one that felt like a curse—an alienating force that set you apart from everyone else.

Even at Xavier’s School, a place meant to be a haven for mutants, you found yourself on the fringes, isolated by the very nature of your abilities. The other students kept their distance, their unease barely masked by polite smiles. Even the professors, with all their wisdom and experience, looked at you with thinly veiled concern. They feared what you could do, what you might become if your powers were pushed too far.

And so, you withdrew, hiding in the shadows of the mansion’s grand halls, where your powers felt most at home. It was in one of these dark corners, far from the laughter and light of the others, that Magneto found you.

Erik Lehnsherr was a figure of power and authority, his very presence commanding respect and fear. When he appeared before you, a part of you wanted to shrink away, to avoid his piercing gaze. But another part—the part that had always longed for understanding—held its ground.

“Why do you hide?” he asked, his voice as smooth as steel.

You looked up at him, surprised by the directness of his question. “I’m not hiding,” you replied quietly, though you both knew it was a lie.

He stepped closer, his cape rustling softly as he moved. “Your powers are extraordinary, yet you treat them as a burden.”

You swallowed, the weight of his words pressing down on you. “Everyone else thinks they’re dangerous. Even here, among mutants, I’m… different.”

Erik studied you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. “Different does not mean lesser,” he said finally. “It means powerful. It means unique.”

His words caught you off guard. You had grown so used to hearing caution, fear, even pity, that his admiration was a shock to your system. “You’re not afraid of what I can do?”

“Afraid?” Magneto’s eyes gleamed with something close to amusement. “No. I see beauty in it.”

“Beauty?” you repeated, unable to comprehend how someone like him could see anything beautiful in the darkness you wielded.

“Yes,” he said, his tone almost reverent. “You command the very essence of fear, the shadows that hide the truth of the world. There is a purity in that—a strength. While others dance in the light, you thrive in the places they dare not tread.”

For the first time, someone didn’t look at you with fear or disdain. Magneto’s gaze was one of approval, of respect. It was a look that made you feel seen, truly seen, for the first time in your life.

“Why do you care?” you asked, the question spilling out before you could stop it. “Why do you care about someone like me?”

Magneto smiled, a small, almost wistful curve of his lips. “Because I have seen what the world does to those it doesn’t understand. I have felt the sting of rejection, the pain of being told you are something to be feared rather than cherished. But power, true power, comes from embracing who you are—even the parts others would reject.”

He reached out a hand, and for a moment, you hesitated. But there was something in his eyes, something that drew you in, made you trust him despite the warnings you had always been given about him.

“Join me,” he said, his voice a soft but commanding whisper. “I can help you see your power for what it truly is—a gift, not a curse. Together, we could show the world that the darkness is just as beautiful as the light.”

You looked at his outstretched hand, then back up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. This was Magneto, a man who stood against the very principles you had been taught to uphold. But in this moment, he was also the only one who saw you, who saw the beauty in the powers you had always feared.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, you placed your hand in his. His grip was firm, reassuring.

“I’m not like you,” you whispered, the weight of your choice heavy on your heart. “I don’t want to hurt people.”

Magneto’s gaze softened, and he nodded. “Then don’t. But never apologize for the power you possess. Embrace it, control it, and let it be a part of you—without fear.”

For the first time, you felt a spark of hope. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps there was a way to accept the darkness within you, to see it not as a monster lurking in the shadows, but as something beautiful, something powerful.

[bahablastplz]

All in | Chapter 15

pairing: Lee Felix x f!reader (mafia au)

summary: You didn't know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Yang Jungwon, notorious mafia boss. Your life gets flipped upside down when you're found beaten and bloody by SKZ, the rival mafia group, and you're quickly integrated into their lives. What will happen when you try to leave your old life behind and start anew?

chapter summary: Chan has thought up a punishment for you that doesn't really help your mental state; someone thinks of a plan to help.

chapter warnings: smut! unprotected sex

warnings: please see series masterlist for all warnings.

series masterlist ~~ series taglist ~~ main masterlist

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Beep, beep, beep, beep. Click! 

That’s the sound you get accustomed to a few times throughout the day. It’s Chan, unlocking the door to let himself in. Every time he brings in a tray of food for the two of you to eat, and most of the time you pick at it but you can’t find too much of an appetite. 

The first few times, you don’t talk to Chan at all. You’re completely silent, looking out at the forest through the barred window. Occasionally you would watch his mannerisms or react when he moves something a little bit too loud. Other than that, you make it a point not to speak at all. That’s how it started, at least. 

Each time a few hours pass in total isolation, you slowly become more and more stir crazy. Mostly, you look out the window. Sometimes, you do situps and pushups or practice the self-defense exercises that Changbin and Felix had taught you until exhaustion. You take a few naps. You take a shower. You finish the latest book that Hyunjin let you borrow. Chan visits you for dinner. You do not speak with him, eat your meal in silence, and watch as he leaves. You go to sleep for the night with an empty, hollow and rotting sensation in your chest that you have never experienced before. It might be anger directed towards Chan, but also an empty feeling knowing that you are unable to see Felix, who is in the same house as you. You wonder if he feels the same as you right now. 

Beep, beep, beep, beep. Click! 

You wake up to the sound of Chan unlocking your door in the morning with breakfast. You break your silent treatment, finally, though probably more out of boredom than anything else. You only respond to his small talk, tell him that the food is alright. 

The longer increments of time that would pass, the more anger you would find bubbling in your chest. 

“Do you really expect to keep me locked here forever?” you snap at one point. You have just finished rereading The Stranger by Albert Camus for the third time. “You know that’s how people start to lose their minds? Is that what this is? A torture device? Or is it still a sick, twisted ploy to get me to fall in love with you?” you walk around the room, pacing. Your hands are strung through your hair haphazardly as you let out a laugh. “Some sort of Stockholm syndrome to the extreme? You already fucking tried that, Chan! I’m stuck in this house with you, I can’t leave, and it didn’t work. What is your plan here?”

He blinks at you, sitting on your bed and crossing his arms across his chest. “I don’t know.” 

“You… you don’t know?” 

He chuckles and you feel your blood begin to boil. “Well, I mean, I don’t know how long I plan to keep you here. At least until the Heeseung drama boils down. Until I feel confident that Felix is just as broken down about this as you are? I mean, it’s the point of a punishment, yeah?” He runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a sigh. “Obviously I know you aren’t going to fall in love with me right now, not like this, yeah? But the thought of you and Felix, it’s so wrong, y’know? So I gotta nip it in the bud.” 

You blink away a tear but wipe it away quicker than he can see. You won’t give him the satisfaction of letting him see you cry. 

“I hate you,” you spit. When Chan stands, he closes the distance between the two of you. He swipes a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“You might want to watch your mouth for now, especially when you’re the one who’s not in control,” he coos. “If you want to start getting your privileges back, you might want to consider upping the sweet talk.” He leaves as a chill racks through your body and the door slams shut, lock clicking into place behind him. 

You’re not quite sure about *sweet talking*, per say, but you suppose you could calm it down with Chan for now in order to get things back to the way they were. It’s really hard, with the way your anger bubbles every time he enters the room, every additional hour that passes. You start to feel delirious, depressed with nothing much to do, sleeping far too much and eating far too little. 

The flowers start to wilt. 

The flowers that Chan had given you for your date. You don’t even know how long ago that was at this point, feeling a bit too disoriented. You watch over days as the petals start to turn brown, curling up into themselves and falling to the floor. It’s only once every flower has finally turned to black that you convince Chan to let you leave your room. 

It’s only to Hyunjin’s room that he lets you go at first. He supervises your visit. You sit on the corner of Hyunjin’s bed and you sit and talk, nodding politely when he speaks. He updates you on Seungmin’s condition, shows you his newest painting (which is stunning beyond belief), and talks about his latest venture to the bookstore. It’s more than he’s ever talked to you at once, and you’re sure he’s doing it because he knows the effects that the isolation has had on your head, but you appreciate it more than he could ever imagine. 

Chan checks his wrist watch, clearing his throat. He tells you it’s almost time for you to go and you can’t help the panicked feeling that bubbles in your chest. You know that Hyunjin notices it too, the frantic look in your eye as you look to him for help, but there’s nothing he can do about it. You wonder if he and Chan got into a disagreement about it, if anybody besides Felix had the gall to stand up to him about your circumstance but it’s unlikely. 

As Chan guides you out, Hyunjin remembers something, handing you a new book as if it were an afterthought. A brand new copy of Wuthering Heights is placed into your hands. 

“I think you’ll really like this one,” Hyunjin muses. “I hope we get a chance to talk about it soon. I purchased this at that bookstore I was telling you about. Let me take you there one day, okay?” 

You smile at him. A true, genuine, smile before Chan takes you back to your room for dinner. Feeling a little more hopeful, you eat more than usual and talk to him more than yesterday. You think he’s expecting you to thank him. You don’t. He wishes you a good evening before he locks you in your room for the evening. 

Something about Hyunjin’s words had struck you as odd. “I hope we get to talk about it soon.” Since you moved in and Hyunjin had started giving you new books to read, although he was always very sure of himself in his choices, you had never really talked about your choices. Even today during your conversation you didn’t talk about Albert Camus’ The Stranger, which you had read a whopping four times since your isolation.

This is why you’re not as surprised when you open the book and you find a note, wedged neatly between page eight and page nine. It’s not Hyunjin’s handwriting, but Felix’s. You can’t help it when your heart picks up and beats against your chest, a smile against your face despite yourself. 

‘Dear Sunshine,

I am so sorry for everything. Each day that I have not been able to see you and that I have known that you have been behind those doors has been Hell for me, as I’m sure they’ve been Hell for you as well. Let me take you far, far, away from this place if you would let me.

If you will take me, if you want this as much as I do, let us leave tonight. Leave your bathroom light on tonight and I will know that it will be okay for us to make our escape. 

Love, LF.’ 

Are you really reading this correctly? 

It was the first night here that Chan took off his belt and whipped you with it just for leaving when he told you not to leave. What would the punishment be if you and Felix were caught? You knew the answer, and you found yourself grimacing as you thought about it. If Chan found out that you and Felix had escaped—and you had a very, very short window of time before he came looking for you, until breakfast tomorrow—he would surely kill the two of you in cold blood.

Felix, was he really to risk it all for you? No questions asked? You knew you were. 

Turning off all lights in your room, leaving just your bathroom light on for the signal and to light up your path, you get ready. You throw on some clothes, a pair of thick socks and a pair of sneakers, athletic pants and a t-shirt underneath a hoodie. You try to dress both light-weight but also warm, easy for mobility in case you have to do some running. And you take a quick nap, since it’s still light out and you’re sure that the plan won’t take place until after nightfall and you should probably be well-rested. 

You’re right. You wake up a few hours later and it’s dark outside. Felix still hasn’t shown yet. You sit right by your door and wait for him. You wait and wait and wait, your heart beating so heavily out of your chest it might explode. You literally have to calm yourself down with breathing exercises several times because you find yourself so worked up. You can’t help it–you’re so nervous about seeing him again, and about the escape, about his plans, though you’re sure he has something planned out. 

After some time has passed, you almost wonder if maybe he isn’t going to show, but you laugh at that thought. It’s Felix. Of course he’s going to show. You have never met someone more true to his word and dedicated. You just hope that everything is going according to plan. And sure enough?

Beep, beep, beep, beep. Click! 

Light from the hallway spills into your room, encasing the darkness that surrounded you. When you jump to your feet, Felix pulls you in for a very chaste kiss. His name spills silently from your lips and you see him smile before grabbing your hand, pulling you into a silent run down the hallway. You can already tell that there is going to be a long night ahead of you, though you’re relieved when Felix leads you to a mundane car, a dark mini-van, and you can’t help but think thank god we aren’t literally running away. 

You hurriedly get into the passenger seat, Felix the driver’s seat, and the two of you drive away. You watch as the house gets smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror behind you until it completely disappears, and most of your anxiety along with it. 

“You came for me.” you say finally. 

“Of course I did,” Felix says, his voice soft. “I just had to work out the logistics. I’m so so incredibly sorry it took me that long. I hope you can forgive me.” 

“It’s really happening?” you ask him. “We’re really leaving?” 

Felix only smiles. “I did everything I could. I was even able to get your sister out of your house, I sent her somewhere safe where Chan can’t find her to retaliate.”

“Thank you, Felix,” you say, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Really, really, thank you.” 

He reaches over the center console and grabs your hand, bringing it to his face to kiss along your knuckles. 

“You have no need to thank me. This is my escape too. In reality, I owe you just as much.” Your heart squeezes at his words. You don’t really understand the weight behind his words but you hope that he will open up to you about them one day. About his past and his history with Chan. You stare at Felix, at the way the passing headlights illuminate his face and accentuate his features, and you just sit there and watch and watch, drinking him in and hoping that you will never have to let him go again. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You’re expecting to arrive at some sort of hotel/motel, similar to the one you and Felix had shared after the night at the gala. What you weren’t expecting was an apartment building, at least ten stories tall in the middle of a city a few hours away. 

Felix parks the car, a protective hand around your waist the whole walk to the building. He holds you so close you find it almost difficult to walk. The elevator takes you up to the eighth floor, where Felix leads you down the hall. The building looks well-kept, maintained inside, contrasting from its run-down exterior. 

Felix leans over the door, typing a code into the keypad. It swings open revealing a large furnished studio apartment. 

“This place looks really nice,” you admit. “It is a step-up from the motel. How did you…” 

“Chan isn’t the only one that has his connections,” Felix says, sighing as he throws a backpack down next to him. He closed the door behind him, locking it. He walks around the apartment several times, making sure that every window is locked and secure as well. “It’s safe here. We should be able to stay here for a few days before we need to pick up again. But this place is completely alarmed and equipped with security codes. He won’t find us here, okay?” 

“Okay,” you nod. You really do trust him. You feel safe. 

“The password for the front door is 0325,” Felix tells you. You don’t know why that action alone makes you want to tear up. You’re not a prisoner anymore. You’re really free. 

“Thank you,” you tell him, shucking your hoodie off of your body. You don’t miss the way his eyes rack over your frame at the way your shirt picks up slightly. How does he still manage to make you blush? “How did you get the code for my door?” you ask him. You had been wondering about it for a while, as there was no way that Chan had given it to him. 

“Hyunjin told me,” Felix discloses. “He was the only other person besides Chan that knew the code, in case of an emergency or if Chan was away and he needed to give you food.” 

“He was the only one?” you ask. “But that means… Won’t Chan know that Hyunjin…” 

“Hyunjin has already come to terms with things,” Felix says remorsefully. “I didn’t want it to go down like this either, but Hyunjin really was willing to make a sacrifice for you. For both of us. Nothing horrible is going to happen–he isn’t going to be killed, but I’m sure the punishment will be brutal.” 

You shake your head, unwilling to believe his words. “I can’t believe Hyunjin would do that for us. I really thought he was loyal to Chan.” 

“At the end of the day there must have been something he found more important to put his trust in,” he smiles. “I think he realized how bad your mental state was after spending over a week in that room.” 

“It was over a week?” you nearly cry. Felix holds you tight to his chest. You don’t cry–you’ve already come to terms with what has happened. When you pull apart, you look into his eyes and find that he has tears of his own that have started to build up. Now that is something that you had not anticipated. 

“I’m sorry–” he starts to say, but you crash your lips into his instead. Your hands pull into his hair and you push your body into his, do anything you can to get your body as inhumanly close to his as possible, so that you can feel every touch of his skin against yours. 

Felix’s hands wander underneath your hoodie, tugging off the material and throwing it to the floor in a desperate show. His hands roam your body, his lips never once leaving your skin. This time he makes it a show to suck a mark into any available surface, licking and sucking dark purples and pinks into your neck, collarbones, shoulders, breasts–any area of skin that was once pristine now has Felix’s claim on it. 

“You’re mine, do you understand? You’re mine and I’m yours.” 

“Yes, Felix, yes,” you agree, letting him push you back against the bed. He towers over you for a second, dropping to his knees onto the floor so that he can pull off the material of your pants. You lift your hips, allowing him to. You push your thighs together, utterly exposed in front of him but also so aroused by his stare and he grabs your thighs, pushing them apart. 

“Beautiful,” he comments. You throw an arm over your face, embarrassed by his comment. “Don’t hide from me, angel,” he says, kissing the insides of your thighs. “You’re mine, right? Can I compliment what’s mine? You’re not going to hide away what’s mine, hmm?” When you don’t immediately answer him, your chest rising and falling rapidly from his words, you feel a slight pinch come from inside your thigh. You look down at his mischievous face to realize he has just lightly slapped your inner thigh to get a response. 

“N-no, Felix,” you moan. 

“No, what?” he teases, his mouth going higher and higher still, his breath right above your center but waiting. 

“No, I’m not going to hide from you. Yes, you can compliment me,” you reply.

“Fuck, that’s my girl,” he groans. “Prove it, then. Open those legs wide for me.” And you do. You spread your legs as far as they would go and Felix rewards you by immediately diving in, his tongue lapping at your clit like a man starved. As much as your thighs tremble and shake and threaten to close, you don’t let them. Your eyes stay on Felix, and his eyes on yours. 

Suddenly, Felix pulls away with a pop. 

“What–”

He climbs onto the bed and lays down, leaving you utterly confused before he grabs you by the waist, manhandling you effortlessly by the waist onto his face. 

“Felix, what are you doing?” 

“I want you to sit on my face,” he responds, his hands caressing your thighs as if trying to coax you down to properly take your seat. 

“Are you sure? I–”

“Please, just, use me. Make yourself cum, and then I’ll fuck you open on my cock.” You can’t deny how appealing his words sound, and he had already worked you up just seconds ago so you can’t find the resolve to protest much longer. Eagerly, you sit. His tongue prods your entrance, pushing in as far as it will go. You rock yourself back and forth on his face, your clit occasionally catching on his nose, and you find Felix’s hands taking place on your ass to help you find your pace. 

Once you build up a rhythm you ride him in earnest, like nothing matters but him beneath you right now and your climax building up. He knows you’re close when he feels your thighs clench tighter around your head and your back starts to arch back, and your noises have become louder. You do exactly what he told you to do–you use him for your pleasure until you’re having one of the longest, most drawn-out orgasms of your life. 

When you finally crawl off of him, Felix wastes no time before flipping your positions, making your stomach turn with butterflies. He pulls his pants off in one swift motion and you take a moment to look at him in awe, to really just appreciate him and his beautifully toned body despite seeing it a few times before. 

You watch as he strokes his cock a few times, his eyes fixated on your pussy. He pushes forward, and just to tease–intentionally catches the head of it on your overstimulated clit, causing you to cry out. 

“Felix!” your hips buck up, your legs wrap around him, doing anything you can just to get him to enter you properly. 

“Do you want me that bad?” he asks with a smile, his voice a low timbre in your ear. 

“Yes, Felix, stop fucking teasing me, you know I want you–” and with that, he pushes right into you, fully sheathing himself in one thrust. Your hands come up to push crescent fingernail indents into his shoulders, just to ground yourself from the overwhelming sensation. 

Felix wastes no time before fucking you like he really means it, his hips pulling out to meet yours flush each time. The way his hips roll in a fluid motion into yours has you crying out, wrapping your legs around him. 

“Fuck, you’re clenching me so tight,” he pants. “I’m going to cum soon, baby. Where do you want it?” 

You wrap your legs even tighter around him. 

His hand snakes up to your neck, just placing it there, not even squeezing but it still causes you to cry out with a moan that is borderline pornagraphic. 

“You’re being so dirty, baby. Are you trying to tell me something? You want me to cum inside? Because you’re going to have you use your words to tell me that or else it’s not gonna happen,” he grins. 

His hips snap into yours so hard it’s almost bruising, but you’re so close to your second orgasm that you think you could fall over the edge any second. 

“FELIX,” you finally cry out. You’re sure the scratches you’re leaving into his back are going to leave marks, if not bleed. 

“Fuck, you gotta tell me now.” 

“Inside! Inside! I want you to cum inside, fuck, I love you Felix, please!” you sob. 

He kisses you. Rather, his lips smash into yours so hard you’re not sure what is happening, but you’re cumming so hard it’s blinding. You can feel him still as he fills you up with warm ropes of his cum. 

When you both finally come down, Felix flops beside you and you immediately curl into his chest. He embraces you, his hands stroking unknown symbols into your skin. 

“Did you mean it?” he finally asks. 

You don’t have to ask what he’s referring to. “Yes,” you reply. “I think I’ve known it for a long time.”

“I love you, too.” Felix tells you, grabbing your chin so that he can press another kiss into your lips. “You mean the world to me.” 

That night, Felix looks around the apartment again, making sure that everything is in its place. When you see that there is both a couch and a bed, you make a joke about sleeping on the couch that causes him to quite literally pick you up and throw you into bed with him. You fall asleep like that, intertwined in his arms, not worried about accidentally getting caught and what the consequences might be tomorrow. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You toss and turn. Images plague your mind. A guilt-ridden feeling plagues your gut. 

Minho, who gets anxiety on missions, who wanted to get away from his family and the life of crime from his childhood, but couldn’t let Jisung go alone for fear of what Chan would do to him.

Changbin, who has only wanted to protect his family, but instead Chan has held that over his head.

Hyunjin, who didn’t really know how to find himself after being told who to be, who didn’t know what to do with his life, exploited by Chan. 

Jisung, who has never had anybody tell him that he is good for more than shooting things and a life of violent crime, and had Chan take advantage of that. 

Seungmin, who had only one dream and had it taken away through an injury, was falsely promised by Chan that one day he could get the surgery and recover to play baseball again. 

Jeongin, who turned to a life of crime but was told he could have the money to go to fashion school, all if he would become Chan’s lackey. 

Even Felix, who you’re sure has been through something just as horrible, though he hasn’t told you yet… 

At the end of the day, there’s one common factor in all of this evil. 

You know that you can’t stay here and live a fantasy life, where you get to escape and be free while the rest of them are trapped there and still living in a nightmare. At the end of the day, you have started to develop close relationships with each and every one of them, and you can’t bring yourself to think more about the horrors that Chan continues to inflict on them each day while you get to run away with Felix. 

Picking up Felix’s arm, you kiss him on the head. You feel very remorseful for what you’re about to do, for the amount of mental anguish you are probably about to put him in when everything was finally going to go your way. You wish you could have relished in this a little bit longer. 

Opening up the bedside table, you grab Felix’s car keys and his gun. 

This has to end, and it has to end now. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

a/n: we're getting close to the end! two main chapters and two mini chapters left!! sorry for the delay today guys, I only had this chapter half written i wrote the rest in a coffee shop lol <3

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[ooooo-mcyt]

Do you guys ever think about how much the first season someone was in seems to impact them going forward?

Last Life is a season where teams were shaky, uncertain. Both because of the rule that red names were forced to leave their teams and the introduction of the boogeyman curse. This gave a unique sense of isolated individualism to the season. In Last Life, more than any other season, you couldn't rely on anyone except yourself. This season is also the one where we saw the introduction of Pearl, Lizzie, and Mumbo.

Pearl, I'd say, is the one who was least impacted by this. Her team was very stable throughout Last Life. They exchanged lives and stuck close together. Scott was only red for about half a session before Pearl was, so she never really felt the team instability aspect like the others did. This, unfortunately, set Pearl up to fall harder in the Double Life, given she was unused to the isolation that Last Life theoretically could have prepared her for.

You see the effects more clearly in Mumbo and Lizzie.

Lizzie's team was torn apart in Last Life. First one of her teammates betrayed the other due to the Boogeyman curse, leading to everything Lizzie had burning, and then Lizzie lost the rest of her team anyways when she turned red. So, in Secret Life she isolates a lot, and she struggles, with trusting people, with being part of a team, with seeing anything as permanent.

Mumbo is very similar. The Southlands were a mess, cracking and reforming and falling apart all over again throughout Last Life. Mumbo was surrounded by people, and yet friend turned into foe so easily with the boogeyman curse or a teammate turning red (and then they could come back and do it all again). Is it any wonder, then, that he's paranoid now? That he often feels like the ground is going to fall out beneath him at any moment?

Then we have Secret Life, the season that really introduced Gem. I'd argue that Secret Life was a season of uncertainty and luck. Skill and tactic mattered, of course, but one bad task or unfortunate bit of damage could leave even the best players unable to do anything to save themselves. In this season, you couldn't just use your skill to recover from a stroke of bad luck.

Gem knows this better than anyone. I've said it before, but I think the fight with Grian was the downfall of Gem and The Scott's. Gem was taken off guard once and she was never able to recover from it. This made worse by the fact that it ended with a 2v1- not a fair fight, but two people teaming up to kill her as quickly as they could. Going into Wild Life, Gem very naturally grew to resent and reject a lot of what the previous season was for her. She derides the idea of sacrificing yourself, she loathes the idea of an unfair fight, she insists on being in control, on letting luck dictate as little as possible.

It's just fascinating to me how people tend to engage with and react to the unique mechanics of the season they started with going forward.