#i just wish i wasn’t all alone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

badaseyebags · 3 months ago

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excuse my ugly rant but damn do i feel empty.. i wonder if this feeling will ever stop or if it’s a permanent part of me.. i just wish it could stop

#so alone and empty and misunderstood and unable to communicate and connect and just ew��#low-key sick of myself and the way i’m isolating myself from everhing and everyone #but deep down i feel so lonely #ick #yet i keep pushing everyone away because i can’t stand it #i’d rather be alone than misunderstood or treated a way that makes me feel worse #i just wish i wasn’t all alone #i don’t mean alone as in amount of people #but in a way of being truly understood and seen.. or at least feel like someone is putting in the effort #and treats me gently #i guess not in this life #oopsie #it’s always i care but never do anything to show it #words words words #actions speak so much louder yet everyone just talks #maybe i’m really not meant for this world #if anyone is reading all this i sincerely apologise for being cringy #i have nobody to talk to about this so i’m just leaving it here to feel some sort of relief #hope everyone is well

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lethality-of-dual-strike · 7 days ago

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I love you peri-weri one of these days I’ll learn how to draw you consistently

I think what we need for season 2 is some good ol perirep slapstick I need to see them scrapping it out like looney tunes

#fairly oddparents a new wish #perirep #peridale #peri fairywinkle cosma #fop irep #dale dimmadome #timmy turner #sammy sweetsparkle #juandissimo magnifico #my art #in case it wasn’t clear. perirep is my fav #but what’s the ship name for irep peri and sammy they’re a funny trio #poor sammy is he the third or third-wheeling no one knows #they’re all just drunk college kids in that #juandissimo isn’t trying to be weird he’s just got nothing going on in his head all the meat is in the muscles #but peri is having a gay panic #that’s got to be weird. your mom’s hot ex constantly ripping his shirt off like hm maybe I’m gay #I’m so normal about Dale saying ‘come to daddy’ what are you talking about #just realized this is the first time I’ve ever drawn timmy let alone fairy timmy #sorry timmy turner I love you #fop a new wish #fop fanart #okay it’s after 1am now though I should sleep #the art overtook my brain I had to do this before sleeping #poor dev losing his godparent to his terrible dad #realistically I think peri would probably hate dale. but the shipping part of my brain is too intrigued to fully dismiss it

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concrete-3ater · 1 month ago

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if I had a nickel for every time I was in a fandom and a child character had a breakdown and did something that accidentally hurt another character, and then the fandom all turned on the character and vilified them because they [the fandom] can’t understand that sometimes 14 year olds make mistakes when they’re going through something traumatic, I would have 2 nickels

not a lot but it really is weird it happened twice

#This is targeted at anyone who vilifies Gon from hxh or Homura from pmmm #”Gon was manipulative towards Killua and took advantage of him” shut up shut the fuck up #”Homura never actually cared about any of the other girls she only cared about Madoka” never touch the internet ever again you absolute idi #I’m sorry that some of you incells can’t understand moral complexity or that characters can’t always be 100% good all the time #they were kids #they were only 14 #At the same time saying stuff like this is actively undermining both Gon and Homuras characters but also Killua and Madokas as well #Killua and Gons friendship was kinda toxic from the beginning. They were each others first ever friends #and they didn’t really know how to have any #Gon was literally having a mental breakdown confronting the person who killed the closest thing he had ever had to a father #can you really blame him for lashing out???#And Homura #don’t get me started on the amount of idiots in the pmmm fandom who think she’s evil because he did what she thought was best for Madoka #she heard Madoka say she was unhappy being a god and how lonely she was and she took action #if she didn’t care about the other girls then WHY DID THE CLARA DOLLA DRAG THEM INTO HER LABYRINTH???#WHY DID SHE MAKE SURE THEY WERE ALL HAPPY WHEN SHE REWROTE THE UNIVERSE??#she tried for years to save Madoka just to fail when she made her final wish to become a god #imagine how she felt when she realized she wasn’t happy with that outcome either #when she realized she was all alone #she just wanted for her to be happy.#i swear to god #if you think either Gon or Homura are evil you might as well just block me now #because I fully believe you should not be allowed internet access #rant #rant post #pmmm #madoka magica #homura akemi #puella magi madoka magica #madoka kamane

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cuteniaarts · 1 month ago

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The weight of the world is a heavy burden

Especially for a child

(Or, in slightly less dramatic terms – I imagine that the first of her past lives that Avatar Suiren [who is the Avatar after Aang instead of Korra in my AU, and also Ghazan and Ming-Hua’s daughter] gets to talk to is Yangchen, because she is too plagued by memories not her own [including Jetsun’s death, fun fact]. And Yangchen wouldn’t want another child to go through what she did on their own)

(Or maybe someone just needed an excuse to draw @katkastrofa’s latest obsession in a context that interests them as well, just in time to maybe cheer her up a little? You can’t prove anything)

#my art #artists on tumblr #the legend of korra #Avatar Suiren AU #Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness #yangchen #original character #sotrl suiren #if you’re wondering what the context is. Suiren is around 8 or 9 here. already having revealed herself as the Avatar to her parents #and it has been Hard. because as much as they try to maintain a sense of normalcy for her. it’s clear that things have changed #they never accounted for their daughter turning out to be the Avatar. they hoped Aang dying on the night she was born to be a coincidence #all of their plans now have to be rethought and put on hold because her safety is more important than anything else #she is never blamed for anything. she is still just as loved. yet there’s now a heaviness in their gazes whenever they look at her #the Avatar as a concept should not exist. it is too much power and responsibility for one being who is ultimately human #that’s what Suiren was taught. so what do those teachings mean if she’s the Avatar?#basically.. a whole lot of cognitive dissonance and she hasn’t even been alive for a decade yet #and all her life her head was filled by strange memories and dreams. fragments of lives not her own. sometimes nightmares #and usually her mama would comfort her through it but tonight… she just wants to be alone #so she wanders off. not too far. but enough that she wouldn’t be heard. and just softly cries #because it’s too much. because she doesn’t want to be the Avatar. why her? why not anyone else?#and as she whispers that she wishes she wasn’t the Avatar. her mind is assaulted by memories of previous Avatars saying the same thing #it really is a never ending cycle of too much burden being placed on a single person. but that realisation is anything but comforting #she begs for it to stop because that grief of life over life spent pushing a boulder uphill is just Too Much #and before she knows it. it ceases. only to be replaced by a blue glow visible even through closed eyelids #and a feather light touch of hands on her face. it doesn’t feel exactly like human hands by virtue of belonging to a spirit #that helps her relax a little. reminding her of mama’s touch. she looks at the person who appeared before her. her mind supplies the name #‘Avatar Yangchen?’. she whispers. but the woman is nowhere near as stoic and peaceful as she’s shown to be in every depiction of her #she looks.. sad. concerned. as burdened by grief as Suiren herself is. she’s not just a legendary figure from a time long gone #not yet another past life Suiren would never measure up to. she’s… human. capable of human emotion. just like Suiren is #I’m not sure how their conversation goes and have no inspiration to come up with anything. but I just wanted to draw them interacting

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yrlocalghost · 21 days ago

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what i will say is that i think a very big issue for me right now with my appearance is just that due to stress and i guess just time, i feel like i have very visibly aged and probably look older than my age. and inherently there is nothing wrong with that but i kind of wish i could still pass off as young enough that when i say i haven’t really done anything with my life or anything, people are understanding and say that i still have time. i don’t know, i just feel like i am out of time

#i know technically there is time forever and stuff but people sort of stop caring or being understanding #the older you get the more alone you get and the less acceptable it is for things not to be going somewhere #but it is kind of hard for me to see that as someone that has always been pretty alone and without anyone to kind of look out for me #i think what i mean is i am out of time for anyone to kind of be looking out for me #and obviously i am 24 that has been the case for at least a few years now technically #and i can look out for myself #but i just kind of wish it wasn’t the case. i don’t know #i have a whole complex about this and i think people that know think it is just vanity but its not #but on a vanity/superficial aspect- i only just finally settled into clothing i like about a year ago! i want more time for it to not be #too weird for me to not be dressing normal!#also i think this is the first time i have been anle to articulate this in words. and it is on tumblr. the website. of all damn places #ALSO this is long now but clarifying that a part of this is also being very very aroace #i know some people can find a sense of family or feeling cared for by finding a partner. i do not want that. at all #which screws me over even further

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weezerlvr228 · 4 months ago

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Opinion on SFTBH... :3

I LOVE SFTBH!!! i adore all the fanart for it and the story?! UGHH AMAZING. all the songs are so great, though i love Pinkerton, i would have adored SFTBH <\3

#weezer #songs from the black hole #sftbh #LIKE SUPERFRIEND ? oh my god #perfect song #genuinely so yumtastic….#LIKE AGHHH ITS SO CUTE TOO SUCH A COOL STORY AND SUCH COOL FANART AND AMAZING MUSIC #i love listening to playlists of how the album would have turned out with the planned tracks #i was hoping they would record an official version of it but alas it was Blue Album tour #it’s okay tho! i love blue :3 #most of the songs from sftbh are on Alone I; one of my favorites is Crazy One #but it wasn’t meant to be on SFTBH #i just like that album though ! alone i; my love #my favorite song though is I Was Made For You; fav rivers song EVER #one of my favorite songs ever genuinely; it’s perfect!!#wish it was on an album and not in a spongebob song…#cuz i was made for lovin you and all the little things you do remind me who i am inside!#ask!

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pinkfey · 5 months ago

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is this a safe space

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cetoddle · 26 days ago

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okay what i have to say is lowkey embarrassing but i wanna bitch and it’s probably only embarrassing to me bc im shy about this stuff anyways the moral of the story is i wanna bitch and u should probably just ignore me. god bless

#honestly halfway through the wedding i did see this guy i thought was rlly cute #like. REALLY cute (so fucking embarrassing)#but i’m too shy to talk to hot people and i’ve never approached anyone before and no one’s ever approached me so i don’t know what to do #idk how to talk to people to begin with let alone like. try to flirt or something #but as the night went on (this is so embarrassing) for some reason i literally couldn’t stop looking at him (kill me)#and he probably definitely noticed me looking at him so he probably thinks im some like. crazy creep or something #but like usually when i see someone attractive im just like oh wow and admire them from afar #but i COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT HIM! WHY! and for some reason i felt like i just really wanted to talk to him #but i didn’t know what to do! i just felt this urge to go try and start a conversation but i just. i couldn’t #and every time i thought i would work up the courage either my sister or my grandmother would come back and hover over me #and i didn’t wanna be like ‘sorry gotta go i need to go embarrass myself in front of this cute guy’#OR he would get up and start taking pictures again. it’s like he knew #he wasn’t even the official photographer he was just one of the guests who clearly wanted to take photos of his friends wedding. which like #is so endearing to me. he has HOBBIES. WOW. (kill me)#idk j can’t even put everything into words i just feel like screaming into a pillow AAAAAAUGHHH #i felt like i was in hs again there was a point i even excused myself to step outside just because he was out there #but he was talking to some old lady. so i was just sitting outside in the grass moping #i feel so stupid i dunno. why am i so worked up about this. i had a few opportunities to approach him and i didnt. because im an idiot #i feel like i’m down so bad which is so STUPID because i don’t even know his name and ill never see him again in my life #so it doesn’t even matter! and every time im like oh oh well it was just random infatuation clearly it wasn’t meant to be #but then i just get upset and all blushy cause he was SO CUTE! and i wanna know more about him! why!#i haven’t felt like this in FOREVER i just feel so stupid for even feeling this way #i know ill be fine in a few days or something but im just like. i wish i could have at least spoken to him once #sigh. idk what’s wrong with me #maybe he’s already dating someone anyways all the cute people seem to already be in relationships #except ME im the only one left. who am I supposed to date!!#i want to jump out the window #snow.txt

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againstthegrainphoto · 7 months ago

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You ever stand over your father’s grave in tears and have your mom try to use him to make you believe in her fairy tales??

Truly think we’ve hit a new low.

Unfuckingbelievable.🥺

#fuck religion #fuck your thoughts and prayers #fuck your god #it is worthless #what’s it like to have an adult conversation with your mom #religious trauma #she doesn’t have a single thought of her own #it’s all regurgitated bullshit #and it makes me so sad #and makes me feel so alone #dads been gone a very long time….but she wasn’t like this when he was around #is it awful there isn’t a day that I wish my dad was here instead of my mom???#this is why I don’t spend time with my mom. I just feel like absolute garbage after.#and I know from the outside we look like the perfect fucking family #and for some reason that makes me feel even worse

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blessthishouse · 8 months ago

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It feels like there’s a lot of heavy energy right now

#everything just feels kind of hopeless and I feel like I’ll like #never be financially stable enough to leave my family #and like I’ll never have a deep and significant romantic relationship #like at this point I am just waiting for my dad to die and hoping for some semblance of peace and normalcy for the rest of my adult life #maryam's posts #like fuck man I just want romantic love #but it seems like everyone is just weird or burnt out or does the bare minimum #and here I am looking and feeling like an idiot #like I’m just tired #I wish my family wasn’t so scarily homophobic I could be comfortable enough being with someone who wasn’t a man #I just feel all alone #And I wish I had someone rn who could see that #and who could give me a hug and say that they loved me

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insanechayne · 2 months ago

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~ ~ ~

#I hate who I am when I start missing human contact and feeling lonely #I start missing someone who was awful to me simply because they were reliable in talking to me every day and at least sort of my friend #I start craving the connections that you see in media even though I know those types aren’t real #it seems like everyone else has more people and better people and closer people in their lives than me #it seems like everyone has best friends and partners that are closer to them and better for them #and idk it just feels like things are missing from my life #I have a partner but I can’t always talk to them when I need to because they can’t always handle a conversation #I have a best friend but he barely ever answers my calls and things feel distant between us lately #I have other friends but they’re not the kinds that I feel I could turn to for help when I’m lonely like this #I have my parents but neither of them are very good at comfort in these situations #and I just want to cry because I feel so completely by myself and I don’t know what to do anymore #I just want someone to talk to and who will listen to me when I need help and advice and be there for me #I’m starting to really miss the wrong people again even though I know I’m better without them in my life #but at least I could send them anything and get a response fairly soon when I needed to #at least for a while they were very close to me and i think that’s what I really miss most of all #just the closeness of another person since I don’t always feel that with other relationships these days #it’s times like these I wish I’d just killed myself at 16 so I wouldn’t have to keep dealing with this over and over forever #it’s times like these I wanna fade away #if I’m going to be alone anyway then why bother keeping others around at all? why not just break off and go be a hermit somewhere else?#but I can’t do that because I have too many responsibilities that I need to take care of #idk maybe I should just kill myself and get it over with #pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to make it this long in the first place #I mean I’m being facetious cause I’m not overly suicidal and I’m not actually going to do anything #just kinda wish I could in a weird sort of way #like missing the feeling of a blade slicing my skin since I stopped cutting a long time ago #just want more out of my relationships and from myself and from my life and idk how to get any of that #personal

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spicyicymeloncat · 1 year ago

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Btw shout out to s13 for giving wu character development like that, it did him good

#i wish we got to see the events afterwards bc I kinda wanna see wu kick butt #like his problem is that we always see him girlfailing like all the fucking time #pilots he jumps into the underworld to lose to sans undertale #s1 he has to go find his brother bc he managed to lose lloyd in like 1 day #also he gets eaten bc that’s what his weed told him to do #s2 he’s fine. he doesn’t do much I think?? he simps for his brother’s wife which is weird tho #s3 he’s on self sacrifice number 3 and gets hacked like a computer #s4 he is just not there for most of it #s5 he is girlfailing and just watching the consequences of his mistakes rob his dad’s grave #s6 he’s like the first one to die in a horror movie #s7 he is tormented by visions of him girlfailing and goes on his self sacrifice number 4 Jesus Christ wu this is actually concerning #that’s where the ninja get it from #s8 he baby and he’s girlbossing so much better than he has ever done and will ever do #s9 he girlbosses through his childhood and into adolescence good for him #s10 does he even do anything I genuinely forgot?#s11 man done fucked up again and he feels bad abt it for like the whole season #s12 he gets fucking damselled like L L L #s13 man has to character develop bc he girlfailed too much #the Island guess who needs saving. at least he wasn’t alone #Seabound he’s got a minor role again but he gets to hang out with Ray in this one and I’m happy for him #(haven’t finished crystalised but he says fuck the police and that is so girlboss of him actually 🤩)#got carried away in the tags oops #btw this is not wu hate I love him #he’s a girlfail and that’s okay #ninjago #Ninjago wu

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the-casbah-way · 1 year ago

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i feel like everyone is going to eventually get annoyed at me for still being sad about simba or still talking about it but posting abt it is easier than telling someone because i don’t know how to do that and i’d rather be annoying here where people can scroll past and ignore it and not feel obligated to reply

#i don’t even have anything to say i’m just sad #i keep being fine for a while because it doesn’t feel real #and then i remember i never get to take another picture of him or play with him again #i wish i’d gotten a video of him meowing he had such a funny meow i wish you could hear it #i get so sad thinking about him when he was a baby and how he didn’t know it would end up like this #and then thinking that’s dumb because cats do not understand their own mortality anyway #i hope he wasn’t in pain when he died i hope he didn’t feel alone or scared #i wish more than anything that someone had been with him when he died. he was all alone #he should’ve been inside he should’ve been safe he should’ve been looked after properly #there’s no point getting angry at the people who neglected him. they can’t hurt him anymore anyway #but i just wish he got what he deserved he deserved so much better. i hope he knows how much everyone loves him #and that i won’t stop loving him just because he’s not here #he was only a baby he was only two. he should’ve lived for so much longer #again i am sorry for being annoying but i am not coping with this and i feel rlly fucking stupid for being this sad #simba

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peculiar--princess · 7 months ago

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Thinking of all the kind souls I met while in treatment&residential… I could cry 😭

#my first day admitted was v day and a councilor made me a Valentine’s Day card and so did a patient so that I would feel welcomed & loved #every friday we would give each other notes to say we were proud of them after a hard week or w/e they needed to hear #One time I was very overstimulated during mindful movement class from the music and a patient just sat with me and didn’t say much just #so I knew I wasn’t alone #or how my friend to this day would give me a hug whenever I was crying and I’d feel safe and protected #&&& also how everyone snuck out at night to cause a lil trouble like flipping the therapists name tags & some patients even made a bingo #game for stealing stuff ( I never did but it was funny for people to steal something like a spoon for no reason )#so many good memories and I wish I could reunite with all of those kind souls and hug them and remind them that I’ll always love them #😭😭#personal

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hesfromsomewhere · 10 months ago

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tag ramble pt.1

#so much i feel like i want to say when a lot of this is just two different people who cant mesh and are hitting each other like confused #roomba.#on some level i wish i didnt respond or engage especially at the moment because what i said wasn’t particularly deep and only resulted in #hitting a wound that i already knew was there #i’d like to apologize for that much alone #that it is presumptuous and envasive to have strangers on the internet talk to you like that because yes it does very quickly cross to #feeling like being talked down to #these are people who are entirely self aware of the problems and of course i literally cannot enlighten them to it any further #they just dont care- they’re very tired of their life so far and do not have the time and energy and patience to talk to anyone else #like that.#the way they’ve chosen to fight is negatively. i cant dock someone for making a self conscious choice of how they’re going to behave #especially in the sense of standing up for yourself #i do get the feeling this doesnt serve someone in the long run #you are being spoken to in this way because you are reacting volatily to a random stranger on the internet #because of the way they hit a wound because of how you interpreted what they said #the idea that you’re standing up for yourself and you need to be mean so people dont talk to you in a way you dont like #like the block button isn’t infinitely better for that #to think this is a case of oohh lets all be sooo polite and pure and Correctly Speaking all the time or you’re just a widdle baby #is goofy #it IS reactive and it is volatile! i could have said this in a meaner way rather than politely #and maybe that would have been more easily received in this one case #but there was just acknowledgment of what was actually happening immediately right now in the moment #of course i dont know you and i dont know your life and thats not what this is about #but at the end of the day the question of if this works for you and genuinely serves you then i have absolutely nothing to say or add #that matters. if this is your honest self then everything else is null. you live in the way that serves you because thats literally all we #have #though i doubt that its fulfilling and honest at the end of the day i wont pretend this isnt someone just on one part of their journey #thats plenty farther along than others #and i really hope they are at or get to what serves them entirely

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forestfan69 · 2 years ago

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Many Moira thoughts tonight wow

#namely thinking about her self experimentation scene again #ik mchu said it wasn’t as bad as people assume it was #which is weak af imo like let it be a horrible experience let it be fucking disgusting #anyway I just wanna know what she was thinking the whole time #I just know there was so much going on in her head #hatred anger and probably a sense of indescribable loneliness at having to go through this all alone #maybe she thinks about her family #and how they’ll probably want nothing to do with her after this #then there’s the slow realisation that this is going to be with her forever #not only the physical pain but the mental pain #what a amazing character wow #I wish we could see what goes on in her mind

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