#but there was just acknowledgment of what was actually happening immediately right now in the moment

[mercillery]

CHIBI MIHAWK

WARNINGS: GENDER NOT SPECIFIED + NOT PROOFREAD NOTES: based on THIS absolutely cute Mihawk figure. This was done on a whim on a school night so there may be oopsies here and there.

Somehow, some way, for reasons that defy logic, science, and possibly even the laws of nature, Dracule Mihawk is now a chibi. A pint-sized, absolutely microscopic version of himself with all of his pride, dignity, and soul-piercing intensity still fully intact.

Despite his new… predicament, Mihawk flat-out refuses to acknowledge that anything is out of the ordinary. He does not see himself as helpless. He does not see himself as weak. He will not be patronized. He is still the greatest swordsman in the world, even if he now looks like he could be comfortably carried around in your pocket. And yet, despite his best efforts to maintain an air of authority, his tiny body betrays him at every turn.

You, on the other hand, have been gifted with a chibi Mihawk, and while this has certainly thrown your daily routine into chaos, you can’t deny that watching the world’s most fearsome swordsman struggle to do literally anything at this size is, frankly, the greatest thing that has ever happened to you.

Chibi Mihawk, who you desperately want to scoop up and cradle like a fragile little kitten, but who absolutely will not allow it. Do not be fooled. He may be fun-sized, but he is still himself—a walking embodiment of dignity, self-sufficiency, and sheer force of will.

If you so much as think about treating him like some kind of adorable novelty, expect an immediate and deeply unimpressed stare. Actually, scratch that—you’re getting the stare regardless. His golden eyes somehow retain the exact same sharpness as before, and there is something so deeply unnerving about being observed like a lesser life form by a man who is literally small enough to fit in a teacup. He does not blink. He does not move. He just watches you, silently, like a hawk preparing to swoop down on its unsuspecting prey.

And as if the sheer existence of a chibi Mihawk wasn’t enough, his sword shrank too. Of course it did. Yoru is practically an extension of himself—there was no way it wasn’t going to shrink right along with him. And now, you have not only a pocket-sized Mihawk but also a tiny, toy-sized Yoru that, miraculously, still looks just as menacing as the full-sized version. It is approximately the length of a butter knife. A very intimidating butter knife.

You have seen him attempt to sharpen it. With a rock. Like a miniature warrior preparing for battle, except there is no battle, just a very small man aggressively honing his skills on the coffee table. Oh, and his hat shrunk too. His entire outfit shrunk to match, and let’s be honest—the sight of him in his dramatically oversized coat, which now practically drags behind him like a royal cape, is almost enough to make you lose it. But you don’t. Because you know, deep down, that if you do, if you so much as let out a single laugh—he will remember. And he will wait.

You keep chibi Mihawk near you 24/7. There is no negotiation, no room for argument—this is non-debatable. The paranoia is REAL. He is the World’s Greatest Swordsman, and now he is the World’s Tiniest Greatest Swordsman, and there is absolutely no way in the nine circles of hell that you are letting him out of your sight for even a nanosecond.

What if he gets lost? What if someone steps on him?? What if a seagull snatches him up like a breadcrumb and carries him off to parts unknown?!? No. NO. Not on your watch. You have seen firsthand how ridiculously overpowered Mihawk is in battle, but even you have to admit that at his current size, he is disturbingly close to being classified as a snack.

Of course, Mihawk, being Mihawk, has very specific terms and conditions for how he is allowed to be carried. The only acceptable method? Perching on your shoulder like some kind of regal falcon. That is it. That is the rule.

Attempt to hold him any other way—cupping him in your hands, cradling him like a baby, or heaven forbid, tucking him into your pocket—and you will be met with a stare so chilling it could freeze the sun itself. And then, in a voice that is far too calm for how deadly it sounds, he will warn, “You’re testing my patience.”

Translation: You are moments away from death.

That being said, whether you like it or not, he is going to be on your shoulder. You are now a full-time, unpaid Mihawk perch. He will not ask permission, nor will he give you a choice in the matter.

You could be sitting down, minding your own business, and suddenly—boom—there he is, climbing up your sleeve with the sheer determination of a man who refuses to acknowledge that he is, in fact, fun-sized. You are now his personal throne, and he expects you to act accordingly.

Oh, and speaking of things you have no choice in? It is now your job to protect him from birds. You don’t want to? Too bad.

The moment Mihawk shrunk, he went from world-renowned swordsman to potential bird food, and the reality of that is absolutely terrifying. You have no idea how many times you’ve had to aggressively wave your arms and hiss at an overly curious pigeon while Mihawk simply crossed his arms and stared at it like he was daring it to attack. Like, sir, I don’t think you understand, you are one second away from becoming someone’s lunch.

Mihawk, despite being pocket-sized, still commands authority and expects to be treated with the same level of respect as before. Just because he is now a fraction of his usual height does not mean he is any less of a threat. (His words, not yours.) That means he still demands his wine, his alone time, and most importantly, his dignity. However, this is now impossible.

His first real struggle with his new reality? His wine.

Mihawk, being the man of refined tastes that he is, insists on drinking his wine as usual, except there is now a very specific and hilarious problem: the glass is twice his size.

Watching him attempt to lift it is a test of willpower on your end, because if you so much as smirk, he will know. And he will remember. Eventually, after a long, suffering silence, you had to find him a thimble just so he could properly enjoy his drink.

A thimble.

The World’s Greatest Swordsman is now delicately sipping wine from a thimble.

But don’t say a word. Do not react. Do not acknowledge the absolute absurdity of it all. Because if you do, you will be on the receiving end of the most powerful side-eye of your entire existence.

Good lord. Good. Lord. You lose him a lot. And every single time, it shaves years off your lifespan. Your anxiety? Through the roof. Through the atmosphere. Through the stratosphere.

This man is naturally quiet, an observer more than a speaker, and now that he’s chibi-sized, he is literally a walking jump scare. One moment, he’s perfectly within sight—perhaps perched on the windowsill, staring out dramatically like he’s pondering the weight of existence, thimble of wine in hand. You blink. Gone.

And the worst part? He doesn’t even do it on purpose. Mihawk doesn’t wander off to be mischievous—he just moves effortlessly, like some kind of stealthy little shadow demon. You could be in the same room, watching him one second, and then the next? Vanished.

And now you have to search for your tiny, lethal gremlin of a swordsman, all while panicking because what if you accidentally step on him?!? What if he’s under a cushion?! What if you sit down and crush him?!? You’ve started moving around with the same level of care and fear as someone navigating a minefield.

Mihawk, for his part, is completely unbothered. He does not understand why you’re always looking so frantic when you find him. He gives you a look that speaks why do you look so distressed? completely serious, as he lounges inside the empty fruit bowl on the counter like a very judgmental, brooding plum.

Reaching things has become an ordeal. Mihawk will not ask for help. Ever. If something is out of his reach, he will stare at it. Long and hard. Silently. Contemplating his options like he’s trying to calculate the meaning of life itself. He will not break his dignity by requesting assistance.

He will, however, accept help if you offer—but not without a huff and a very reluctant, “Do not make a habit of this.” Right. Sure. Whatever you say, chibi swordsman.

Being picked up? Absolutely not. You tried once. Once. And the look he gave you? Terrifying. You have never felt more pierced to your very core than when chibi Mihawk silently judged you for daring to lift him like a plushie. He is not a toy!

However, if you warn him beforehand, he will begrudgingly tolerate it—but only if absolutely necessary. If you say, “Hey, I need to pick you up,” he’ll fold his arms, let out a long, suffering sigh, and then mutter, “…Very well. But be swift.” Like you’re asking him to endure some great suffering.

That being said, no matter how much he despises it, he has no choice but to rely on you. And you know what? He hates that. There are certain things he simply cannot do at his current size—whether it’s opening doors, climbing onto furniture, or reaching high places.

And you? You, his beloved, have become his reluctant savior. He tolerates your assistance, but you know every time he needs your help, a little piece of his pride crumbles.

Teasing is absolutely not tolerated. If you so much as snicker when he struggles with something, expect a sharp remark or, worse, a long, judgmental stare. You have never felt so silently insulted in your entire life. And heaven help you if you get too playful—like when you start poking at him or cooing at how “precious” he looks. His eye twitches. His patience thins. You feel the silent threat in the air.

Sleeping is… complicated. His usual bed? Now far too big. You had to improvise—you put together a small, makeshift bed just for him. And while Mihawk said nothing, you swear you caught the faintest hint of approval in his expression. Was that… was that a glimmer of impressed respect in his eyes? You’ll never know for sure, because he’ll never admit it.

Despite your best efforts, though, Mihawk refuses to use the bed half the time. No, because that would be too simple. Instead, you often find him perched dramatically on a pillow, arms crossed, staring at the ceiling like he’s contemplating the tragedies of life. Why? No one knows. It’s just what he does.

And then there was the night you woke up and found him curled up inside your scarf. Not for comfort—no, Mihawk does not need “comfort.” According to him, it was “the most efficient size” for him to rest in. You stared at him, half-awake, and he just stared right back, daring you to question it. You didn’t. You just went back to sleep, pretending you didn’t see anything.

Food has been an experience. You may or may not have handed Mihawk a sewing needle as a sword as a joke. He was deeply offended. The moment you presented it, he narrowed his eyes and stated, “You insult me.”

But guess what? He still uses it. Not because he wants to. No, he would never lower himself to such nonsense—except he has. He has resorted to stabbing pieces of fruit with his tiny sewing-needle sword, all while maintaining a level of dignity that should not be possible. He will slice his meals with precision—small, but still menacing. You have watched this tiny, furious chibi man cut a grape with the same energy he would use to cut down an opponent.

You laughed once. It was a mistake. The moment the chuckle escaped your lips, Mihawk slowly turned his head, golden eyes glowing with silent judgment. And then, with great deliberation, he impaled another piece of fruit without breaking eye contact. You shut up immediately.

When Mihawk finally returns to normal, he acts as if nothing happened. As if he was never a chibi. As if you never had to carry him around. As if he never sat in a fruit bowl or slept in your scarf like a very tiny, very dramatic king.

He refuses to acknowledge any of the more… humiliating moments of his chibi state. The silence is almost worse than if he had complained. It’s the kind of silence that says, “We will never speak of this. Ever.”

However, if you so much as bring it up… Oh, you fool. You absolute buffoon.

He will turn to you with one long, unamused stare. And then, with calm deliberation, his hand will subtly grip the hilt of his sword—a silent warning. A promise. Do not test me.

That said, you were particularly helpful during his time as a chibi, so he does, in his own way, show some small (read: microscopic) token of gratitude. Maybe he’ll pour you a glass of wine. Maybe he’ll spare you from one of his usual sharp remarks. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll allow you one victory and not punish you too harshly.

But make no mistake—he remembers everything. Every single moment. Every joke. Every time you teased him. Every time you picked him up without warning.

And if you mocked him too much? You should start watching your back. Because Mihawk is not a man who forgets. And perhaps, one day, you’ll wake up… and find yourself chibi.

And when that day comes? Mihawk will simply stand before you, full-sized once more, staring down at your tiny form. No words will be spoken. But his smirk will say everything.

Your fate has been sealed.

[flwrkid14]

Casual Chaos: Tim Drake’s Makeup Stream

Danny, known to the internet as Nebula, had been teasing a special stream for weeks. Fans were buzzing with excitement and theories, especially when the announcement popped up: “Doing My Boyfriend’s Makeup!” Naturally, the chat erupted into chaos. Danny was pretty private about his love life, so this reveal had the fandom on edge.

When the stream finally went live, Danny greeted his audience with his usual laid-back grin. “Okay, today’s the day. Let’s see if I’m any good at this,” he said, spinning a makeup brush between his fingers. “But first, let me introduce you to my boyfriend.”

The camera panned, and there he was—Tim Drake, sitting there as if this was the most normal thing in the world. No big introduction, no fanfare. Just Tim, giving a small, nonchalant wave.

“WAIT. IS THAT TIM DRAKE???”

“Like… THE Tim Drake??”

“No way he’s dating Nebula, what is happening???”

Danny, fully aware of the chaos brewing in the comments, didn’t even acknowledge it. He just turned to Tim. “Ready for your makeover, babe?”

Tim shrugged, totally calm. “Let’s do it.”

As Danny started applying makeup, the chat kept freaking out, but the two of them acted like it was just another Saturday. In Gotham, though, it was a different story. The Bat's group chat was blowing up:

Dick: “TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE-WAYNE, EXPLAIN YOURSELF.”

Jason: “How does a nerd like you land Nebula of all people???”

Steph: “I AM CRYING. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!!”

Damian: “This is unacceptable. Drake, I demand an explanation.”

Bruce: [Typing…]

But Tim? Unfazed. He ignored the constant buzzing of his phone and sat still as Danny carefully lined his eyes and added a touch of mascara, keeping up casual chatter with the stream.

“You know,” Danny said, holding up a shade of lipstick, “Tim’s got this effortless model thing going on. I’m just enhancing what’s already there.”

Tim raised an eyebrow, smirking. “I didn’t exactly sign up to be your runway star.”

“Wait… he’s actually REALLY pretty??”

“Tim Drake is hot, confirmed.”

“LOOK AT HIS CHEEKBONES OMG.”

As Danny finished the look, adding some extra blush and a light gloss, the reaction was immediate. The chat was losing it. Tim glanced at himself in the mirror, barely reacting. “Well… I don’t hate it.”

Danny leaned back, admiring his work. “Not bad, right?”

Meanwhile, back in Gotham, the bats were still going wild.

Steph: “Tim, you better show up to every gala looking like this from now on.”

Jason: “You’ve been holding out on us with this face, man.”

Dick: “This is ICONIC.”

Bruce: “We’ll need to discuss this later.”

Tim finally glanced at his phone and snorted at all the messages. “They’re never going to let this go, are they?”

Danny just grinned at the camera. “Probably not. So… next time, you'll do my makeup, right?”

The chat, of course, exploded all over again.

[kittyprincessofcats]

ICJ Ruling

Okay, let's get into this.

First of all, I get the frustration at the court not ordering a ceasefire. I was disappointed and frustrated at first too, since a ceasefire was the biggest and most important preliminary measure South Africa was requesting - and of course we just all want this horror to finally end for the people in Gaza. So I get the frustration and disappointment, I really do.

However, I do think this ruling is still a major win for South Africa, Palestine, and international law as a whole and here's why:

The court acknowledged that it has jurisdiction over this case and completely dismissed Israel's request to throw out the case as a whole. It will now determine at the merits stage (that will probably take years) whether Israel is actually commiting genocide.

The court acknowledged that Palestinians are a "distinct national or ethnic group and therefore deserving of protection under the genocide convention". Pull this out next time someone tells you "there's no such thing as Palestinians, they're all just Arabs".

The court acknowledged very unambiguously that "at least some" of Israel's actions being genocidal in nature is "plausible". South Africa has a case, officially. Israel is accused of genocide, in a way the ICJ deems "plausible", officially. This is huge. (And seriously, how freaking satisfying was it to hear all of those genocidal statements by Israeli politicians read out loud and used as justification for this rulling?)

The court might not have ordered a "ceasefire" in those words, but they did order Israel to "immediately end all genocidal acts" (which includes killing and injuring Palestinians) and submit proof that they actually did. How are they going to comply with this ruling without at least severly reducing or changing what they're doing in Gaza?

In fact, this wording might actually be more appropriate for a genocide (vs a war), as author and journalist Ali Abunimah notes on Twitter:

He's completely right. Israel lost today, by overwhelming majority (I mean, 15 to 2? I heard people predict the rulings would be very close, like 9 judges vs 8, but instead we got 15 to 2 (and even 16 to 1 on the humanitarian aid). Holy shit.) The court disimissed almost everything Israel's side of lawyers said, while acknowledging that South Africa's accusations are "plausible".

And this is important especially because of Mr Abunimah's second tweet there^. Because the question is, where do we go from here?

This ruling means that Israel is officially /possibly/ commiting genocide and that should have huge international consequences. The rest of the world now HAS to take these accusations seriously and stop arming and supporting Israel - and if they won't do it on their own, we, the people, have to make them. This is THE moment to rise up all around the world, especially in the countries most supportive of Israel (the US, the UK, Germany): Protest, call your representatives and demand a ceasefire and an end of arms deliveries to Israel.

We now have a legal case to back our demands: If Israel is, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" commiting genocide, then all of our governments are, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" guiltly of aiding in genocide. And we need to hold that over their heads and demand better. We need to do that right now and in huge numbers. Most politicians only care about themselves and saving their skin. We have to make them realize that they could be accused of aiding in genocide.

(As a German, I'm thinking of Germany here in particular: After South Africa's hearing, our government dismissed their case as having "no basis" - how are they going to keep saying that now that the ICJ officially thinks otherwise? Over the last months, people here have been arrested at protests for calling what's happening in Gaza a genocide. How are the police supposed to legally keep doing that now that the ICJ has officially deemed this accusation "plausible"? I used to be scared to use the word "genocide" at protests or write it on my protest signs - not anymore, have fun trying to arrest me for that when the ICJ literally has my back on this one 🖕🏻.)

So yeah - don't be defeatist about this, don't let Israel's narrative that they "won" (they didn't) take over. This might not be everything we wanted, but it's still a good result. Don't let what the court didn't say ("ceasefire"), distract you from the very important things that they did say. Let this be your motivation to get loud and active, especially if you live in any country that supports Israel. Put pressure on your governments to not be complicit in genocide, you now officially have the highest international court on your side.

[five-one-two-station]

At this point I am convinced some people are watching this show solely via the subtitle files, because that's the only thing that explains drastically misunderstanding everything that's not spelled out in dialogue to this extent.

Honestly some of the most embarrassing mass failure of media literacy I've ever seen. It's not even complicated stuff, it's basic text comprehension and story fluency.

- No, Caitlyn's "I know!" is not anger at being called out; she's saying she is very, very painfully aware of what she's done wrong. Watch it again.

- No she didn't take the guards away or go to the cell to have sex with Vi. TF?!?

It was Vi who initiated; Caitlyn was surprised she did.

She pulled the guards away to help Vi if/when she chose to do what she knows her well enough to know she probably would. Vi makes her choice - Caitlyn doesn't "let" her, she just supports it, because it's Vi's choice to make.

Vi has no idea she's done this until after, it doesn't affect her "agency" at all. That's not what any of those words mean!

- She did this as a direct acknowledgement of and response to Vi's previous criticisms.

You are supposed to be able to make the very, very minimal leap of imagination required to understand what the show is telling you here; that she is genuinely sorry, genuinely committed to getting her shit together, and that she has heard and received every word that Vi has told her.

The reason this gesture is so important is that it demonstrates she's now going out on a limb to put herself, her resources, and her privilege to work for the greater good.

And the reason Vi reacts the way she does is that she understands all of this immediately.

You should not need the show to sit you down and spell this out to you step by step Barney the Dinosaur style.

- She works very hard and sacrifices quite a lot to try to do right by people after fucking up so badly before, but not before very explicitly acknowledging that she can't undo the harm she's already done. And this isn't even an inference thing, she actually even says this bit out loud twice, and you still somehow missed it.

- For $5, what do you think the show was suggesting by having Sevika take up her seat, her final costume have no Enforcer uniform elements, and having her allude to an ongoing struggle. Come on, guess.

I am loathe to call people stupid just because some tv show stuff sailed over their heads, but... y'all are legitimately testing that. This is not exactly The Holy Mountain or something, it is very straightforward storytelling.

And just... I mean why would you be this loud about anything without making sure you didn't have it ass backways first?!? In public!?!? 💀

You guys, you have to watch shows to know what is happening in them.

[favefandomimagines]

loml (r.c)

SEASON 4 PART 2 SPOILERS!!!!

Request: @motherlanaenthusiast “So what if we do a Rafe x Maybank!reader where like maybe she was in morocco but she wasn’t with JJ when he died cuz she was doing smthn else so like they all have to break the news and that happens and then when like after when they’re back at Kildare Rafe like gets deja vu from s1&2 him because he sees reader going kinda crazy”

Summary: Rafe is the only person to save Y/N from a downward spiral.

AN: I will NEVER forgive the writers for this lol I went on a tangent with this one

The sun was blistering and casting a golden hue over the winding alleyways in Morocco. Rafe Cameron and Y/N Maybank moved through the maze of alleyways, their steps quick and purposeful, yet filled with a tension that spoke of something much deeper than their immediate surroundings.

Y/N was JJ Maybank’s twin sister, a spitfire with a wild heart who had once been the center of Rafe’s secret world. The two had shared a tumultuous fling, a secret affair that had started four years ago under the cover of darkness and ended just as abruptly. It was a relationship neither had ever fully acknowledged. Rafe was a Kook, while Y/N, like her brother JJ, was a Pogue, tale as old as time.

The shop was quiet, the group off to Charleston to follow the next clue. Y/N stayed behind to wait for her brother after he had wandered off “running errands.” The bell above the door jingled, and the soft sound broke through the silence.

Y/N was leaning against the counter, staring at her phone screen, scrolling through all the unread text messages to her brother.

"How can I help you?" she asked absently, not looking up from her phone.

She looked up and her breath got caught in her throat, the smile on Rafe Cameron's face grating against the air. He stood at the entrance, hands tucked casually in his pockets, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, keeping her tone even, though the familiar tension in her chest began to build. She’d never been able to shake the feeling of unease around him. Not since everything went down with Pope, the fight that ended whatever it was they had.

"Can't I just stop by and visit my local surf and bait shop?" Rafe said, taking a step inside, his eyes glinting mischievously.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "You looking for Sarah?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Actually, yeah. I'm looking for Sarah."

She shook her head, setting the phone down with a soft click. "She doesn’t want to talk to you."

Rafe raised an eyebrow, the smirk still in place. "I think I can have a chat with my sister whenever I want."

"Not if she doesn't want to talk to you." Her words were firm, but there was a slight quiver in her voice that betrayed her more complicated feelings.

Rafe’s smirk didn’t falter as he took a few more steps forward, closing the distance between them. He placed his elbows on the counter, leaning in closer, the sudden proximity catching her off guard.

"I'm sorry about the drama at the beach the other day," he said, his voice lowering in an almost sincere tone. "With Ruthie and the turtles."

She didn’t respond right away, trying to keep her emotions in check. She could feel the weight of his words, but it didn’t change anything. Rafe was sorry—sorry for the mess he had created, maybe, but never for the things that had truly mattered.

"Don’t act like you care, Rafe," she replied, her voice steady despite the knot tightening in her stomach. "You only care about how things affect you. And I guess now Sofia."

He stared at her for a long moment, his gaze growing intense. The years of tension between them seemed to hang in the air, unresolved and unspoken. Then he said, his tone soft but firm, "We used to be so close, Y/N. What happened?"

She sucked in a breath, trying to push down the anger, the hurt, the past. "The drugs happened," she said slowly, her voice low. "Ward happened. Your anger happened."

His eyes darkened for a second, his jaw tightening. He opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it just as quickly. After a long, weighted silence, he took a half step back, his expression softening, just a little.

"I’m on your side, you know," he said quietly, the words almost a whisper, as though they were too important to rush. "I always have been."

The words hung between them, charged and heavy with meaning. She didn’t know what to say to that. She hadn’t known what to say to Rafe since the day he’d walked away, leaving everything torn apart in his wake.

Before she could respond, Rafe straightened, brushing his hand across his forehead as if clearing his thoughts. He turned toward the door, his back to her now. "I’ll be seeing you around," he muttered over his shoulder, the door swinging open as he left without another word.

Now, as they weaved through the ancient Moroccan city, they were older, scarred by the years of treasure hunts, betrayals, and broken friendships.

“Something doesn’t feel right,” Y/N said, stopping suddenly, her dark eyes scanning the shadowed alleyways. She had always been the one with the sixth sense, the one who could feel trouble like a storm on the horizon.

Rafe turned to her, his brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

But before she could answer, they heard Kiara’s voice, shrill and desperate, cutting through the noise of the bustling market.

“Y/N! John B! Pope!”

Y/N’s heart seized in her chest, and without another word, she took off in the direction of Kiara's cries, Rafe hot on her heels. They rounded a corner and found Kiara kneeling on the cobblestones, her face pale and streaked with tears. And lying there, motionless, was JJ.

“No, no, no,” Y/N whispered, her voice breaking as she fell to her knees beside her brother. Her hands trembled as she reached out to touch JJ’s face, his skin already growing cold under her fingertips.

“JJ, please,” she begged, her voice cracking, tears streaming down her face. “You can’t leave me. You promised.” She cried.

But there was no response, no flicker of life in those familiar blue eyes. It felt like the world had been ripped out from under her, like the ground had opened up to swallow her whole. Rafe stood behind her, his face pale, his fists clenched at his sides.

The group stood stunned, no one wanting to be the one to move. But they were in a busy, bustling city with a dead body. People would ask questions. “W-We have to get him out of here.” John B stammered. He moved to reach for Y/N, attempting to pry her off of her brother’s body.

Y/N fought against him, muttering things like ‘I’m not leaving him’ or ‘he can’t be alone.’ Rafe takes over for John B and has to use his strength to pull her up to her feet. He held her in his arms, close to his chest to avoid having to see her two best friends moving her brother.

At that moment, all he could really do was hold her.

||

Months had passed since that horrible day in Morocco, but for Y/N, time had ceased to exist. She was back in Kildare, but it was as if she was still stuck in that dark alleyway, kneeling beside her brother’s lifeless body.

Sarah Cameron was heavily pregnant, as she prepared for the birth of her first child with John B. It was supposed to be a time of joy and new beginnings, but the shadow of JJ’s death loomed over them all.

Y/N had fallen into a downward spiral, her grief consuming her. She drank herself into oblivion every night, stumbling through the streets of Kildare like a ghost. She would disappear for days, only to be found passed out on the beach or in the hammock outside her house. The Pogues tried to help her, but she pushed them all away, lost in her own pain.

Sarah had told Rafe about Y/N, how she was drowning in guilt for not being there when JJ had died. The words had hit Rafe like a punch to the gut, reminding him of his own spiral years ago, before his father had dragged him into the hunt for the Royal Merchant’s gold.

He couldn’t let that happen to Y/N. He wouldn’t. He loved her even if he couldn’t admit it.

So he found himself standing on the porch of the Maybank house, staring at the peeling paint on the front door. John B’s van was parked out front, and Rafe assumed he was there trying to talk some sense into Y/N.

A part of him thought ‘oh John B is here, I can come back later.’ But he couldn’t walk away, not this time.He’s walked away from her too many times.

He knocked, the sound echoing in the stillness of the early afternoon. John B opened the door, his face drawn and tired. “Sarah’s not here.” He told Rafe. “I’m not here for Sarah. I’m here for Y/N.” Rafe answered.

“She’s not doing well, man,” John B said, his voice low. “We don’t know what else to do. I think... I think she feels guilty for not being with JJ when it happened.”

Rafe nodded, his jaw tightening. “Let me talk to her.”

John B hesitated but finally stepped aside, letting Rafe through. The house was quiet, a stark contrast to the chaos that had always surrounded JJ.

Rafe walked down the hall to Y/N’s bedroom, the same room he used to sneak into all those years ago. All of the memories came flooding back as he stopped in front of the door. Nights that ended tangled up in her sheets. Other nights where she just wanted to be held after a fight with her dad.

Rafe pushed the door open to find her cocooned under the comforter, a bottle of vodka sitting on her nightstand.

“JB, please go away,” she mumbled, her voice raw and hoarse. Rafe assumed from a mixture of alcohol and crying.

“Not John B,” Rafe said softly.

Y/N stiffened, slowly emerging from under the covers, moving to sit up against her headboard. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face pale and gaunt. She looked like a shadow of the girl he once knew.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“I’m worried about you,” Rafe said, moving to sit on the edge of the mattress.

“Apparently everyone is,” she muttered, her eyes flicking away from him.

There was a heavy silence, the kind that was filled with all the things they had left unsaid for so many years. Rafe took a deep breath, trying to find the right words.

“Y/N... I know what it’s like to lose yourself,” he began, his voice steady. “I know what it’s like to drown. I was there once, you know that. Hell, I’m still trying to crawl my way out.”

She looked at him, her eyes filling with tears. “He was always afraid to be alone, and I left him alone,” she choked out. “I should have been there. I should have protected him.”

Rafe’s heart broke at the raw pain in her voice. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened, Y/N. JJ wouldn’t want that.”

“How would you know?” she snapped, her voice rising. “You never cared about him. About me.”

The words were like a slap in the face, but Rafe took it, knowing she was lashing out from a place of deep hurt. “You’re right,” he said quietly. “I didn’t care about JJ, and I pushed everyone away. But I always cared about you. And I don’t want to lose you to this, Y/N. I can’t.”

“I’m not your responsibility, Rafe.” Y/N muttered. “No but you’re the person I love.” Rafe replied. “You can’t say things like that.” She practically snapped. “Why not? You used to beg me to tell you how I felt and I finally am. I’m sorry it came so late and it’s happening because of this but I’ll be damned if another person I love gets hurt because I didn’t do anything to stop it.” Rafe told her.

She stared at him, the anger draining from her eyes, leaving only exhaustion. “I don’t know how to come back from this,” she whispered.

“Let me help you,” Rafe said, his voice breaking. “Please. Let me be there for you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

There was a long pause, and then, almost imperceptibly, she nodded. It was a small gesture, but it was enough.

“I’ll try,” she said, her voice trembling. “I’ll try to get better.”

“And I’ll be here,” Rafe promised, reaching out to take her hand. “Through it all. I’m not going anywhere.”

||

A year had passed since that day in Morocco. The sun was shining over the Outer Banks, the salty breeze carrying the sound of laughter and the distant crash of waves. The Pogues had gathered for a special occasion, a day of celebration and new beginnings.

Sarah and John B’s son, Jackson, was turning one today, and they were throwing a beach party in his honor. Y/N stood on the edge of the gathering, watching as Sarah bounced her son on her hip, his tiny hands reaching for the birthday cake.

Y/N was sober, clear-eyed, and for the first time in a long time, she felt like she could breathe again. She had fought her way out of the darkness with Rafe by her side, and though the pain of losing her brother would never fully fade, she was learning to live with it.

Rafe approached her, a soft smile on his lips. “You doing okay?” he asked, his voice gentle.

She nodded, turning to look at him. “Yeah, I think I am.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “I’m proud of you,” he whispered. “For everything.”

She leaned into him, letting the warmth of his embrace chase away the lingering shadows. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on me.”

Rafe smiled down at her before she moved up on her toes and kissed him sweetly. “I love you, Rafe.” She spoke quietly. “I love you too.” He replied.

They stood there together, watching as their friends celebrated a new chapter of their lives, a chapter filled with hope and healing.

For the first time in a long time, Y/N believed that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay.

[hoshifighting]

when you start to ignore them — seventeen as your crush

hyung line / maknae line

minghao’s not dumb—he felt it when things shifted. the way you suddenly stopped giving him those small gifts, the attention, the lingering gazes when he caught your eye. he didn’t know why, but he knew something had changed. he never mentioned it, though. minghao’s never been one to chase attention, but yours? yeah, he got used to it. maybe too used to it. the weird part is, he started to crush on you too. he’d look forward to your little gifts, the way you’d brighten up around him. he thought he’d play it cool, but now? now he feels like he’s the one waiting.

one afternoon, after another day of you barely acknowledging him, he corners you. his voice is calm, but there’s something sharp beneath the surface. “did something happen between us?” you blink at him, caught off guard by the sudden confrontation. “no… why?”

he tilts his head, eyes narrowing. “you stopped talking to me. stopped giving me attention.” his lips curl into a smirk, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “i thought you liked me.” the words hang in the air, and for a second, you swear you see a flicker of irritation in his eyes. “or was that just for fun?”

mingyu’s used to girls crushing on him. he’s tall, handsome, and charming without even trying, so it never surprises him when people start showing him attention. he thought you were just like everyone else at first—another person fawning over him. but then, you stopped. and fuck, that’s when he realized it was different.

he never thought much of it before, but when your gifts stopped showing up, when you stopped hanging around him, it hit him hard. he didn’t expect to miss it, didn’t expect to miss you. but here he is, sitting in the practice room, scrolling through his phone, wondering why you’re suddenly ignoring him. “hey,” he catches you outside the dorms one evening, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “you’ve been… quiet.”

you raise an eyebrow. “quiet?”

he nods, swallowing. “yeah. you used to, y’know, be around more.” he glances away, almost embarrassed. “i kinda miss it.” there’s a pause, and when you don’t respond right away, mingyu’s chest tightens. “did i do something wrong? or… were you just over it?” his voice is softer than usual, less cocky, and it makes you realize how much he actually liked having you around. maybe more than he let on.

seokmin doesn’t take it well. when you stop giving him attention, he feels it immediately. it’s like a cloud settles over him, and he doesn’t know how to shake it.

he tries to laugh it off at first. “oh, what did I do now y/n-nie?” he jokes, flashing you one of his signature grins. but when you don’t laugh, when you just shrug and walk away, his smile falters. it eats at him for daysssss!! he hates it. hates how much he’s thinking about you, about the way you’ve been avoiding him. he misses your presence, your gifts, your attention.

finally, he can’t take it anymore. one night, after practice, he pulls you aside, his expression serious for once. “why are you ignoring me?”

“i’m not—”

“you are,” he cuts you off, his voice a little sharper than usual. “you used to care, you used to… i don’t know, you used to make me feel special. now it’s like i don’t even exist to you.” his voice cracks.

“what the hell ive done?! or are you just tired of me?”

seungkwan’s first instinct is to make you jealous. when he realizes you’ve stopped giving him attention, stopped following him around, his pride takes a hit. so, he starts flirting with others more openly, trying to get a reaction out of you.

but it doesn’t work. you don’t even seem to care, and that only makes him more frustrated. after a week of his failed attempts, he finally gives up and decides to confront you. “what’s going on?” he asks one day, crossing his arms over his chest, clearly annoyed. “you’ve been ignoring me, and it’s pissing me off.”

you raise an eyebrow, not really in the mood for his theatrics. “pissing you off?” he huffs, rolling his eyes. “yeah. you used to be all over me, and now… nothing. did you find someone else or something?”

there’s a pause, and for the first time, seungkwan’s usual confidence wavers. “i don’t like it,” he admits quietly, his voice softer now. “i miss you.” it’s a rare moment of openness from him, and you can tell he means it.

“can we… can we go back to how things were?”

vernon doesn’t say anything for a while. he notices when you stop hanging around him, but he’s not the type to make a big deal out of it. he figures you’re just busy, or maybe you’ve lost interest, and he tells himself it’s fine. but deep down he knows its not.

after a few days of silence, vernon starts to feel restless. he misses the small things—the way you’d smile at him, the way you’d always bring him snacks, when you click your fingers on his face when he zooms out or laugh at his dumb jokes. without you around, everything feels off. he catches you one day after class, his hands shoved in his pockets as he looks at you. “sup’, you good?”

“yeah, why?”

he shrugs, glancing away. “just… you’ve been kinda distant.” he pauses, trying to find the right words. “i don’t like it. actually, i like having you around...” his voice is quiet, almost shy, and it takes you a second to realize he’s being serious. “i mean, i get it if you’re over it or whatever, but…” he trails off, rubbing the back of his neck. “i really miss you. that’s all.”

chan’s reaction is instantaneous. the moment you stop giving him attention, he starts giving it right back. it’s like he can’t stand the idea of losing your presence, so he tries to fill the gap himself.

suddenly, he’s the one following you around, offering you snacks, little gifts, even bubblegum. “here, thought you might like this,” he says with a grin, holding out a pack of your favorite candy.

“uh, thanks…”

he smiles, but there’s a hint of nervousness in his eyes. “you’ve been kinda quiet lately. figured i’d return the favor, y’know?” he keeps it up for days, going out of his way to get your attention, to make you smile. and when you finally ask him why he’s doing it, he just shrugs, his usual confidence slipping a bit.

“i missed you,” he admits softly, his eyes dropping to the floor. “you used to do all this for me, and i didn’t realize how much i liked it until you stopped.” there’s a beat of silence before he looks up at you again, his voice quieter now. “i guess… i just wanted to remind you that i care too.”

[akutasoda]

hold my hand, lean on me

synopsis - jiaoqiu adjusting to domestic life with you

includes - jiaoqiu

warnings - gn!reader, spoilers for 2.5, angst w/ some comfort, fluff, maybe ooc, wc - 1.3k

a/n: i actually cannot get this darn foxian out my mind :( shouts to @thelightofmylife for some vv helpful pointers and information ^^ tbh i feel like this is just 1.3k words of word vomit HAHA

the healers finished informing you of the situation, thanking them you then closed the door to the shared abode. a sigh you didn't know you were holding back escaped alongside a glance down to the papers the healer's handed over. you could read them later, the news followed by the details of it wasn't exactly a pleasant thought, if anything it might be a final push for the tears to start falling.

your thoughts were distracted by the sound of hesitant, shuffling footsteps. turning around, you were met with the sight of jiaoqiu standing idly not too far from you - almost as if he was taking in the surroundings, although now it was more him trying to piece together the memories of what it looked like.

jiaoqiu had arrived back at the yaoqing not too long ago, admittedly rather late, but the luofu's alchemy commission had kept him for a while. he'd been forced immediately to the yaoqing’s alchemy commission as they were now the ones responsible for his treatment plan for the future. a short talk with them had then led to him being escorted back home. to you.

upon arrival, some of the alchemy commission healers explained to you about the entire situation. they kept it short but soon handed you a full document containing everything from “patient’s injuries” to “doctor’s post-charge advice” - each and every sentence pained you more and more, you refused to acknowledge what would've happened if moze hadn't found him, you would have to thank him later.

the healers had asked you to take upon the responsibility of looking after him at home, and in most day to day life scenarios - at least until he adjusted properly. they asked you to keep strict to the “post-charge advice” as otherwise it probably would cause more harm to him, making his healing process longer and maybe even worsening it beyond healing.

“jiao-ge” you called out, to let him know that you were still near. it pained to see the somber look on his face. the last thing jiaoqiu saw wasn't anyone, anywhere or anything he loved. no. it was something he hated, someone he loathed in unfamiliar territory surrounded by no-one he knew.

now he stood in familiar territory, with the person he loved the most. but he couldn't bask in the sights or even see you. all he had was memories to cast images in his mind, to help pretend that nothing was wrong and that he could see what he remembered.

you knew that he wouldn't want you doting on him. jiaoqiu needed to adjust, to learn how to go about his life as usual and you overly fussing over him would only probably annoy him and prolong that.

it had been a long day, any proper conversations could be held tomorrow. to no surprise, jiaoqiu insisted he could get ready and do everything by himself. you granted him that independence. eventually, admittedly with some help, you two were ready for sleep. and even though you were right there beside him, jiaoqiu never felt further from you.

---✩

the process was slow. nobody would've said that it was going to be anything other than that. jiaoqiu very clearly wanted independence. he didn't want to seen as a burden, he chose to do this, and knowing that people were constantly doting on him instead of continuing with their lives made him feel awful.

one of the first things you did was help make your shared abode more compatible with his needs. an easy step was making sure that everywhere was clean and free of obstruction, normally moze always

showed up and helped with cleaning as well. another step was helping jiaoqiu become able to navigate the home on his own, mainly he acted on memory but you needed to make sure that where he frequented was always obstruction free.

occasionally you could hear a bump or hurried shuffling from the room over, each and every time you dropped what you were doing and checked up on him. it was never anything major and if anything it always resulted in jiaoqiu silently cursing at the piece of furniture he walked into.

you two always adopted a verbal calling system at home. should you need to leave the room he was in, you would tell him exactly where you were going and what you were doing - that way he knew where you were. jiaoqiu would also inform you of where he planned on going just in case something happened or he got lost.

although, admittedly, for the first couple of weeks jiaoqiu stuck to you like glue. to him, it was a way to quickly adjust and therefore he wouldn't have to be a burden for long. however jiaoqiu subsequently had developed a rather interesting habit, one neither of you addressed - you because you thought it was sweet and didn't want to embarrass him, him because he didn't want to admit it.

and that was him using his tail as a guidance. at home, it was either curled around your waist, wrist or leg. in public, it lingered around your wrist, so much so that it constantly tickled you. it was a way of him making sure you were there with him, you hadn't left him and he was okay.

although most admittedly it was worse at night. he would hold you close, an ironclad grip that usually you would ask for him to let up but you knew he needed this. tail curled around your waist, preventing you from escaping. in his opinion, you helped him sleep easier, much easier than any fragrances he was prescribed.

however, this always came with a risk. due to residual lupitoxin still in his body, jiaoqiu became frequently prone to nightmares which plagued him constantly. everytime his mind was tricked into believing that the borisin were waiting, patiently looking for an opening to get revenge.

he wakes up because of them, drenched in fear and swear, and because he's so fearful the lupitoxin can take hold easier. suddenly he's tricked into believing that the borisin have found him. unbeknownst to the fact that it's you. so you sometimes take the liberty of sleeping away from him, but then he wakes up to an empty bead but he can hear someone in the room over and when he finds out it was you, sleeping away from him, he becomes consumed with guilt.

a major change for him was his inability to cook anymore. jiaoqiu was determined to do so with his impairment but he needed to learn. nowadays you cook with him. instead of being hushed out of the kitchen, you stood closely beside him, handing him the tools he needed, telling him where you put them so he could find them again on his own.

gently reminding him to lay off the spices when he requested more, he was to avoid spicy foods at all costs for the time being. a hard change, one that he absolutely despised but he knew better than to go against a doctor's order. helping him go out and buy ingredients, listening to what he told you and carrying out the tasks diligently.

---✩

and that was a shortlist of changes. you were very happy to accommodate anything for him, so long as he felt comfortable and loved. it wasn't uncommon for jiaoqiu to experience major lows, it was only natural and you needed to be there for him.

to listen to him, to show him that the support he needed was always a simple ask away - you didn't want to push to dote on him for many reasons. but that was different to showing genuine care and love to him when he started seeing himself as a useless, dependent person.

life would be different. for a while or maybe even forever, perhaps feixiao would strike lucky in her search for a healer that knew how to help. but for now, you two would have to learn how to adjust. to be there for eachother.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[snoopychris]

phone calls

warnings: slight mommy kink, edging if you squint, misuse of technology, lowkey inspired by this post

12:04 

chris

chris

baby

12:05

hello?

it’s cold

and raining

12:06

can you just come let me in

12:07 

dude the gym closes at 1:30 so that they can do a midday clean btw.

12:08

hello???

????

omfg 

you piss me off

12:09

HELLO?!?!?!?

are you fucking kidding me

you’re unbelievable 

12:10

whatever i’m going home 

text me if u want.

you spun swiftly on your heels, the light jacket you were wearing wrapped tightly around your frame. it was never normal for chris to not answer his texts, especially when he got so many of them. especially when they were from you. when you were halfway down the stairs, the door behind you swung open. the heavy breathing that was coming from chris quickly got your attention. your immediate reaction was that he was having some sort of asthma attack. 

your worry subsided when you noticed the small wet spot that was on the front of his sweats. he swallows in embarrassment, licking his lips as he looks down at the floor in shame. no words are spoken, but his expression says everything it needs you. he moves away from the door, leaving enough room for you to walk inside. when he sits down on the couch, he still hasn’t made eye contact with you. he’s too embarrassed to even acknowledge your presence. 

“what happened here?” you tease, sitting besides him on the couch. his boner is still clearly pressed up against the material. chris shrugs as he mindlessly turns the tv on, purposely ignoring you and your question. maybe if he stays silent you’ll ignore both the tent in his pants and the wet spot that seemed to be growing. “chris.”

“nothing. nothing happened. my phone was just dead.” he whispers, crossing his legs in attempts to cover himself up. your eyes furrow in confusion. had you mentioned his phone? 

“chris…” you pry, tossing the pillow off his lap. he whines in frustration, throwing his head back. he could try to lie his way out of the situation, but he knows there’s no use. 

“well! it’s just… you took way longer than you said you would and i was just getting so frustrated and i haven’t seen you in a week so i started looking at our pictures while i was jerking off and then when you started texting me… it felt good. and i was reading all your text i was! and then i was getting so close and you said you were leaving and i didn’t want you to go so i just… and now… im just. i was so close to cumming and i didn’t okay?!” chris doesn’t even realize how much information he just gave you or what you can do with it. not until he sees the wide smirk on your face. there’s so many different things running through his mind. the most prominent is how incredibly hard he is and how he can’t do anything to fix it right now.

another whine escapes from the depths of his throat when you tug his pants down swiftly, his lack of underwear doing him no favors at all. he wants to tell you to stop– not because he actually wants you to stop but because hes embarrassed by the situation at hand. he squirms at your touch, thrusting his dick against your hand. his tip is embarrassingly red from his unintentional edging earlier, and its covered in so much precum and spit that it seems like he had been at it for hours. when you let him go, his cock slaps against his hoodie covered stomach. no matter how desperately he wants to touch himself and bring himself to the orgasm hes been so desperately craving for what felt like ages, he knew you held the power right now. 

“please… please baby please help me.” chris mumbles, letting out a gasp when you begin to giggle. you were being so cruel to him right now. how was he supposed to act normal and stay quiet when you were just laughing at him and not even helping?

“wheres your phone?” you ask, searching around the couch. chris scrambles to reach into his pocket, handing you the phone with shaky hands. you grab it carefully, holding it up against his length. he was a bit bigger than his phone, but he wasn’t paying much attention to your actions. all he was trying to do was reach the feeling he had been yearning for. chris only starts to pay attention when you grab your own phone and begin to dial a number. he wants to ask who you’re possibly calling in this moment, but he quickly pieces it together when his phone begins to buzz while pressed against his tip. 

there’s a groan that leaves his lips that’s a lot louder than he wants it to be. he doesn’t care right now. right now he just cares about the fact that your call got sent to voicemail and the buzzing halted. “no no nooo!” he whimpers, reaching for your wrist to move it for you. you tsk and shake your head, handing him your phone. “go ahead. call me again. you want it so bad you can work for it.” tears of frustration form in his eyes at your words. fine.

with shaky hands, chris picks up your phone, pressing the call back button. with each ring on your side, the vibrations seem to be getting stronger on his. he knows it’s not possible, but it feels like which each buzz the feeling is getting more and more intense. he lets out a small cry after the fifth or sixth phone call, his cock beginning to twitch between your hand and his phone. 

it’s pathetic, almost, given that it’s only been about two minutes of constant weak vibrations. you almost want to show him sympathy. he must’ve been a lot more desperate than you had expected if he was cumming this soon. “please… fuck mama please let me cum.” he whispers, his hips thrusting up to meet the vibrations all the way through. “y’gonna cum for me? you gonna make a mess all over your phone? imagine what people would think if they knew you used your phone as a sex toy… how would that make you feel? like a desperate little slut?” you reply, clicking his contact on your phone once more. the vibrations start up again as chris moans, nodding his head rapidly. “please! fuck please please.” he whines, biting his lip. his orgasm hits him faster than he expects, because within seconds of his last plea, white spurts of his cum are coating his phone case. it’s a sight you wish you could’ve recorded but both of your phones were occupied. 

it takes chris a second to catch his breath. it takes you a second to comprehend the situation that just went down. you shrug it off— it’s not the weirdest thing you’ve ever done. as you gather your thoughts next to him, you lay your head down on your boyfriends shoulder. “so like… are we still going to the gym or are we gonna go to best buy and get one of those waterproof cases?”

a/n: please nobody talk to me after this one. thanks and apologies in advance.

dividers by @13hoax and @bernardsbendystraws

tags: @mattybsgroupie @whore4mattsturniolo @sosasturns (for the 1 mili party) @darksturnz @surprisecurlyfriesbackup @ribbonlovergirl @ifwdominicfike @frankoceanfanpage @mattssslutbby @sophand4n4 @matthewsturnsgf @izzylovesmatt @m11rx @chris-hallelujah @sturniolotoast @mattsbratt333 @wastelandzella @le4hsblog @mattsd0llfac3 @st7rnioioss @isabellewhatt @sturnslutz @ayesha-eroticaa @bluessturniolo @courta13 @sturns-mermaid @ivysturnss @slutformatt17 @emely9274 @princessesgarden @marrykisskilled @cykss

[harrywavycurly]

Worth the Fight: A Little Treat

Masterlist: Here

CW: A few pregnancy symptoms, ultrasound stuff, baby things, slight panic attack, language, arguing, Harry is a dick, angsty bits.

A/N: This is one of the more dramatic parts of this story. I literally debated on the outcome of a certain part of chapter for two days, but hopefully y’all will be happy with the choice I made! And as always, let me hear your thoughts, comments or concerns✨

Tag List: @kookjipao @msolbesg @lomlolivia @namoreno @outofthisworl-d @mema10 @watarmelon212 @natykn @sassamanda77 @st-ev-ie @ghayda0 @hannah9921 @indierockgirrl @chaoticthoughts2022 @lizsogolden @gmikaelson @styleswithaseaview @sofaritsalrightt @babegoals @fangirl509east @one-sweet-gubler @stylesftcher @umadirectioner @last-saturday-night @montgomery-929496

Summary: You and Harry visit Dr. Andrews and the two of you learn some things that causes Harry to react in a way you don’t expect✨

You can feel the daggers Harry is shooting at the side of your head from where he’s sat in a chair against the wall facing the side of where you’re currently sitting on the exam table in Dr. Andrews office, he’s been glaring at you with his lips pressed into a hard line ever since the nice young man walked into the room. You felt the energy in the office change the moment the Doctor stepped inside and offered you a warm smile and introduced himself, Harry all but went stiff at the sight of him, barely acknowledging him with more than a head nod and a tight lipped smile and you wanted to roll your eyes because you immediately knew what his issue was about. You simply ignore his glares as he crosses his arms over his chest while Dr. Andrews begins asking you some questions.

“So you think you’re about eight weeks is that right?” You just nod as he clicks his pen and writes something down on the paper he has on his clipboard with all your information on it. “And you’re wanting to do a paternity test as well correct?” You once again find yourself nodding as if saying the words out loud will make everything more real, that this is happening you are in fact pregnant and are here to get an ultrasound and a test done so that the man who is still doing nothing but glaring at you can learn that it’s his baby you’re carrying. This time Dr. Andrews looks at you and offers you a smile as he slides his pen into the pocket of his shirt before he turns and places the clipboard on the counter near the sink that’s in the office.

“Now that we have the boring stuff out of the way what do you say to taking a look and maybe get a better idea of how far along you are?” You hear shuffling coming from the side of you making you glance over to see Harry looking visibly unamused at the doctor’s attempt to lighten the mood as his eyes watch Dr. Andrews sit down on a stool with a set of wheels attached to it allowing him to move about the space with ease. His eyes are practically glued to the man’s hands as he starts to put gloves on as he wheels himself over to the end of the exam table near where your legs are hanging off the edge.

“Oh uh-yeah I would uhm love to take a look.” You stumble over your words as Harry finally peels his eyes away from what Dr. Andrews is doing and stares at you with a blank expression. “Is that-do you want to uh take a look?” You ask with a quirked brow to which Harry licks his lips before rubbing them together as he gives you a small nod as confirmation making you smile as you turn and look at your doctor. “Will we actually see anything or-”

“Knock knock.” Harry jumps slightly as a woman enters the room in baby pink scrubs. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you I’m Nancy and I’m here to assist Dr. Andrews with the ultrasound.” She explains with a light chuckle as she looks at Harry and gives him a kind smile that he doesn’t bother to return, instead he just looks away from her and back towards you and he feels his eyes go as wide as golfballs making his eyebrows shoot up towards his hairline at the sight that’s before him.

Your lower half has a thin sheet draped over it so Harry can’t see anything other than the flesh of your calves and the socks on your feet that are currently being placed in stirrups as you slide down lower on the exam table. He watches in horror as Dr. Andrews is handed a wand like device from Nancy as she takes a seat closest to the machine that Harry knows is for ultrasounds, but the thing in the doctor’s hand isn’t anything he’s ever seen before and he’s all of a sudden feeling extremely uncomfortable. He uncrosses his arms from his chest and places his palms on his knees as he finds himself leaning in towards the screen that Nancy is setting up, needing any excuse he can to look away from Dr. Andrews as he finishes getting everything ready. But Harry can’t help but glance over just in time to see him put something over the wand like device and that’s when he decides he simply has to know what’s going on.

“What’s uh-what’s that? That thing you’re putting on there?” Harry’s voice causes you to quickly turn your head to look at him, this being the first time he’s spoken almost the whole visit minus when he was asked questions about his own health history from the nurse before Dr. Andrews came in. You follow his gaze and before anyone can answer you let out a chuckle making Harry raise an eyebrow at you as he takes his eyes off what’s happening at the end of the table near your sock clad feet and up to your face.

“Oh right you haven’t seen one of those in a while have you? That’s called a condom.” You answer as you lay down so your head is on the pillow at the end of the exam table. Dr. Andrews lets out a low chuckle while Nancy hides her laughter by biting into her bottom lip as she gets the screen ready but turns it so for the time being only her and the doctor can see what’s happening.

“Really? Jokes? Now’s not the time for this.” He snaps with a huff as he sits back into his seat and begins to twirl the ring on his middle finger, a habit that you’ve noticed he does when he’s a bit anxious.

“Have you eaten today? You seem extra grumpy.”

“Yes I’ve eaten today it’s almost ten in the bloody morning.”

“Not a morning person then?”

“What? Yeah I’m a morning person. This is what normal people call the late morning. I’m usually up well before this.” You just turn your head to look at him as he lets out a scoff and you just roll your eyes at how annoyed he looks while sat in the chair a mere three feet away from you.

“That doesn’t mean you’re a morning person you know that right? That just means your body is used to being awake at a certain time.” You explain making him let out a groan as he runs a hand over his face and you know he wishes he could be anywhere else but in this room with you, about to get a glimpse at what in his mind could only possibly be his baby. You on the other hand are a ball of excitement at finally getting to see the little thing that’s been causing you to feel absolutely exhausted at the end of the day mixed with a hint of nausea tossed in at random times throughout the day.

“Doesn’t mean you enjoy the mornings.” You add after a brief moment of silence and Harry just shoots you a look, his way of silently letting you know he’s over the conversation and won’t be adding anything further to it.

“Okay you ready?” You turn your head and look down towards your feet at Dr. Andrews who is already looking at you with a smile on his face, you give him a nod and that’s when Nancy walks around the exam table to turn off the overhead lights leaving just the glow of the screen on the ultrasound machine and a lamp on the counter near Harry to light up the room. “You may feel some pressure but it shouldn’t cause you any discomfort.” Harry tries to focus on what Nancy is doing instead of what the doctor is currently doing between your legs with the wand.

“Now Mr. Styles this is called a transvaginal ultrasound and we do this so we can get a clearer picture of what’s happening so we can confirm a few things and it’s easier to do it this way than through the stomach.” Nancy explains in a soft and calming voice that makes you relax even though thanks to your hours of googling you already knew what to expect. You allow yourself to glance over at Harry and see him just nod his head at her words as he rests his forearms on his knees after scooting to the edge of his seat.

“Okay let’s take a look here.” You place your hands on your stomach as you feel a wave of nerves take over you and you wish you could reach over and grab onto Harry’s hand for comfort but currently he just so happens to be the least comforting person you know. “You’re doing great. Just try to relax for me.” You just nod and let out a deep breath and then all of a sudden you see Nancy’s eyes go wide momentarily before she turns to look at Dr. Andrews and taps a few places on the screen, you watch him lean in towards the screen and a small smile makes its way onto his face.

“Congratulations.” You feel a wave of relief wash over you as the word slips out of his mouth while Nancy turns the screen finally allowing you and Harry to see it. “You’re having twins and it looks like you’re-” Harry’s voice quickly interrupts him before he can finish his sentence.

“I’m sorry you-you said uhm-what did-what did you say?”

“I know it always seems to be a bigger shock to the dad-”

“I’m not-we don’t know if I’m-”

“Twins? Like you mean there’s more than one baby in there?” You ask cutting Harry’s rambling off making Dr. Andrews laugh and nod as Nancy points to one little section the screen with the tip of her finger that’s labeled ‘baby A’ and then she points to another section next to it that’s labeled ‘baby B’ but both just look like little beans floating around in a black bubble.

“That’s exactly what I mean and you look to be measuring almost nine weeks along and everything looks good.” You can’t really do anything besides nod as the realization that you’re going to have twins begins to sink in. “Let’s take a listen and-”

The sound of Harry standing up makes you sit up on your elbows as Dr. Andrews and Nancy pause their movements, wanting to give Harry time to process things before moving on having dealt with this kind of thing before from shocked parents finding out their little bundle of joy is suddenly two of more. You open your mouth to say something but quickly close it when Harry runs a hand through his hair as he turns to look at you, his eyes are wide and the hand that’s at his side is balled into a tight fist and you know he’s panicking and right now you can’t do anything about it because your legs are in the air and you have nothing on your lower half besides a sheet.

“Harry are you-”

“I can’t-I uh have to go.” Before you can even say anything Harry is gripping the doorknob of the exam room and throwing it open allowing him to make a swift and in your opinion, slightly dramatic exit. You stare at the door for a few minutes, thinking that maybe he just needs some air and he’ll be back but deep down you know better, this is the same man who left your apartment without saying goodbye and doesn’t handle situations like this well at all.

“Sorry about him.” You apologize with a sigh as you bring your focus back to Dr. Andrews who just gives you a nod and a small smile while Nancy gives you a look that tells you she wants to say something but she doesn’t, she just smiles at you and begins printing off photos from the machine.

“No need to apologize.” Dr. Andrews says quickly brushing the incident off. “Now do you want to hear your babies heartbeats?”

You let out a heavy sigh as you exit the elevator and step into the hallway your apartment is on, you adjust your hold on the box that’s currently now being held with one hand so you can dig around in your purse for your house key. It’s not until you’re further down the hallway that you notice him, sitting with his back against your front door with his knees bent allowing his feet to be firmly planted on the floor while his hands are resting flat against his stomach and you squint your eyes a bit to see the back of his head is resting against your door and his eyes are closed. You want to turn around and head for the elevator and leave him sitting there but his eyes shoot open and his head turns in your direction when a tube of chapstick falls out of your purse and hits the floor with a clunk.

“Shit.” You mumble as you look down at the chapstick that decided to betray you and announce your presence to the one man you don’t want to talk to or see and if it wasn’t your favorite one you would let it sit there and turn around and go back to the elevators or make a quick escape down the stairwell. You let out a huff as you squat down so you can quickly grab the tube and shove it back into your purse but when you go to stand up you feel a hand on the bottom of the box you’re trying to keep from tipping over, gently taking it from you.

“Are these donuts?” You ignore him as you steady yourself once you stand back up. “You shouldn’t eat all these at once that’s a lot of sugar.” You roll your eyes as you quickly take the box from him and walk the few feet to your door.

“You didn’t tell me he was a man.” Harry all but blurts out after a moment of uncomfortable silence and you lift your head to send him a glare as you stop right in front of your door. You knew that’s why he was is a foul mood at the beginning of the appointment, but you just didn’t think he’d bring it up now considering that’s not the biggest issue the two of you have to get through regarding his behavior today.

“Yes I did.” Harry wants to roll his eyes because he’s sure you didn’t but at the moment he can’t be bothered to because he’s just glad you finally decided to speak to him even if it’s in the most annoyed tone of voice he’s ever heard come out of another person before. “I said he has good reviews and he had an appointment today at nine. It’s not my fault you lack basic reading comprehension skills and didn’t catch it.” Harry crosses his arms over his chest as you speak, his mind mentally going over your messages and he hates that you’re right, hates that he did miss the little hints that he knows he could’ve easily picked up if he would’ve just paid a bit more attention.

You feel his eyes on you as you move the box to one hand and go back to digging around in your purse for your house key. Normally you have it out and ready to go, but today has been anything but normal so you just let out a small sound of frustration as you touch the bottom of your bag and don’t feel the familiar coldness of your metal key ring. Harry chews on his bottom lip as he watches you struggle to hold a box of donuts in one hand and dig around in your giant bag with the other, and he swears he’s never sees someone constantly be at odds with their purse before, it’s as if it hides your belongings from you on purpose. After a few minutes he decides he can’t watch you struggle any longer as he lets out an annoyed huff and uncrosses his arms so he can reach over from where he’s stood next to you with his body turned towards you, while yours is facing your door in what he knows is an attempt to not have to look at him and grabs the strap of your purse, that to his surprise you let slide off your shoulder without any resistance.

“You and this fucking bag.” He mumbles as he opens it up and you just roll your eyes as you turn so you’re now facing him as he digs around in your purse. “What’s the point of having so much shit in here if it takes you forever to even find it?” He asks as his brows pinch together when his hand comes in contact with something sleek but when he pulls it out and sees it’s just your AirPods case he tosses it back into the bag with a groan.

“Thank god.” He sighs a few moments later once he finally finds your keyring that has your car key as well as your house key on it. He drops your bag by his feet so he can put your key into your lock but before he can open the door you reach out and grab the doorknob keeping it closed.

“No.” Harry drops his hand from the door as he raises a brow at you making you just shift the box in your hand so it’s resting partially on your hip as you stare at him with an unreadable expression on your face.

“What do you mean no?”

“Oh you don’t hear that word a lot do you? I mean no as in you’re not allowed in my apartment.”

“What? But we-”

“There is no we.” Harry swallows hard as he watches your eyes get a familiar sheen to them. “There’s you and then there’s us.” His eyes glance down to your free hand that rests on your stomach and he instantly knows who you mean when you say us and it makes his stomach do a flip at the reminder that you’re carrying twins.

“Listen I’m sor-”

“Don’t.” Your voice is low as you try to blink away the tears that are beginning to make your vision a little blurry. “You left me in the middle of an exam just to be sitting at my front door hours later so you can say sorry? No that’s not how this works.” Harry feels like his heart is beating a mile a minute as you sniffle a few times between your words.

“I just got-”

“I don’t care.” You state cutting off whatever excuse he was about to toss your way as you bend down and grab the strap of your purse that’s still by Harry’s feet. “I don’t think we should talk until you get the results of the paternity test back. Which you still have to go give your sample for by the way since you left before they could get it.” You say with as much conviction you can muster in your slightly emotional state but you internally give yourself a pat on the back for getting all out in one go.

For once Harry doesn’t know what to say, he knows you’re upset and he knows right now there’s not a lot you’ll let him do or say to make it up to you so he just nods his head thinking that the least he can do is give you what you’re asking for without starting an argument.

“I agree yeah-yeah that’s a good idea.” You look at him almost in shock at how quickly he agrees to your request but of course he would agree to not speaking to you for a bit, something you assume he’s looking forward to. You sling your purse strap over your shoulder with an annoyed huff before reaching for your doorknob and Harry has to stop himself from reaching out and opening it for you.

“You know I was so excited about today because I just wanted to have that moment of like oh wow this is all happening when I saw my baby or I guess my babies for the first time and you- you had to go and fucking ruin it.” Harry hears you let out a shaky breath as a few tears make their way down your cheeks. “You Harry Styles are an asshole.” Your voice is watery but the words still sting as they reach his ears and the tears are free flowing now as you sniffle, but before he can even attempt to say anything, not that he would dare try to defend himself given the state you’re currently in; you open your door and take a step inside.

But just as you turn to close it Harry instinctively takes a step back wanting to give you some space, you glance down at the box in your hand and then look up at him allowing him to really get a good look at your face and that’s when the reality of what he’s actually done begins to set in. He watches as every blink causes more tears to slide down your slightly blotchy cheeks, the tip of your nose is pink from sniffling due to the unavoidable snot that comes with these types of tears but the worst of it is the look in your eyes that makes it almost painful for him to keep the intense eye contact with you because it’s a look that tells him this is all his fault. He’s the reason that a day you intended to be happy and joyful turned into you crying in front of your door while telling him you don’t want him to come inside.

“And yes these are donuts. I thought I deserved a little treat after everything I dealt with today.” Your voice snaps Harry out of his thoughts just in time for him to watch you close the door and when he hears the sound of your deadbolt he knows there’s no chance of you coming back out to talk to him.

He’s not sure how long he stands there, just staring at the gold lettering nailed to your door that says your apartment number, 5C but he knows it’s long enough that when he does finally move to run a hand through his hair his knuckles feel tight as if he’d been making a fist the whole time without meaning to. He lets out a long sigh as he turns to begin walking towards the end of the hall where the elevators are. He reaches into his front pocket for his phone but instead of calling for his driver he scrolls through his contacts in a anxious hurry to find the one person that he knows will tell him what to do and try to help him fix things. And Harry needs to fix things because right now he’s so lost in his own thoughts and feels as if he’s drowning in a pool of anxiety and stress that it’s causing him to hurt other people and that’s not who he is or wants to be. He needs help un-muddling his mind and seeing things more clearly and there’s only one person who can do that for him.

Everything happens in a blur as he steps into the elevator, not remembering even hitting the down button as he frantically thumbs at his screen until he finally lands on the name he’s looking for. He looks up just as the doors open on the ground floor of your building and the moment he walks out of the small space he hits the call icon and brings the phone up to his ear while he heads towards the front entrance of your complex. It’s darker outside than it was when he first got to your apartment, a sign that he sat outside your door for at least a few hours and stood there a good bit after you told him he couldn’t come inside.

“Harry?” He doesn’t even realize he was holding his breath until he feels his lungs release a deep exhale as soon as her voice floats through the receiver and into his ears after a few rings, he doesn’t miss the slight scratchiness to it letting him know she was probably asleep before he decided to call.

“What’s wrong?” Of course she asks that, of course she knows there’s something wrong. It’s only then that Harry feels as if all the events of the past few weeks from you first contacting him about being pregnant to the exam this morning hit him and his eyes begin to sting and his heart feels as if it’s going to beat out of his chest.

“Mom I-I.” He starts to talk but then has to stop and take a few deep breaths to try to calm himself down but it’s pointless as he feels tears begin to gather at his waterline and his lungs feel as if they can’t take in enough air all of a sudden. “I don’t know-know what to-to do.” He manages to get out between shaky breaths as he stops walking when he spots a bench and that’s where he finally allows himself to break down, on an uncomfortable wooden bench on a dimly lit street only a few feet from your apartment complex while on the phone with his mom.

[mariacallous]

Not long after the November election, new members of Congress gather for a couple of weeks of orientation. Consistent with that tradition, Sarah McBride, a Delaware Democrat, made the short trip from Wilmington to D.C. to meet with her fellow first-termers. At a hotel in the capital, she learned about the lottery for office space, how to assemble a staff, and the intricacies of the legislative process. As the first transgender member of Congress in history, she also experienced an orientation in naked aggression. Within days of her arrival, Nancy Mace, a Republican from South Carolina, introduced a resolution that would restrict access to all “single-sex facilities” on Capitol Hill to those of the “corresponding biological sex.” In other words, Mace sought a bathroom bill—and made clear that she “absolutely” intended it as a reaction to McBride.

“I’m not going to stand for a man, you know, someone with a penis, in the women’s locker room,” Mace, who had claimed to be “pro-transgender rights” as recently as last year, said of her new proposal. She also added an odd, pseudo-feminist twist: “It’s offensive that a man in a skirt thinks that he’s my equal.” Mace found support among Republicans, including Speaker Mike Johnson and Marjorie Taylor Greene, who, according to Politico, told colleagues that she would fight McBride were the two of them ever to meet in a women’s bathroom on the Hill.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was among those who leapt to McBride’s defense, calling the bill “disgusting.” McBride, for her part, refused to take the bait, saying that she would “follow the rules as outlined by Speaker Johnson, even if I disagree with them.”

McBride was born in Wilmington; her father was a lawyer and her mother a high-school guidance counselor. At American University, she was active in Democratic politics and worked on Beau Biden’s campaign for Delaware attorney general. In her senior year, she served as student-body president, and ended her term by publishing a moving coming-out article for the Eagle, the A.U. paper, called “The Real Me.”

McBride had been hesitant to acknowledge her trans identity, she explained, because that might prevent her from pursuing a career in politics. “I wrestled with the idea that my dream and my identity seemed mutually exclusive; I had to pick,” she wrote. In the end, she realized that she would have to embrace both: “My life was passing me by, and I was done wasting it as someone I wasn’t.”

In 2020, McBride was elected to the Delaware State Senate. And this November she was elected to the United States House. At the start of our conversation, which has been edited for length and clarity, she seemed determined to keep her cool, despite the insult she had just suffered. “I think in many ways I got a fuller orientation this week, where I actually got to see not just the nuts and bolts of Congress,” she said drily, “but also some of the performance of Congress, too.”

Well, let’s talk about that. Nancy Mace, one of your colleagues now, immediately came forward and decided that this would be a good time, a perfect time, to introduce a bathroom bill, all directed at you. How did you take this piece of what can only be called aggression?

I always knew that there would be some members of the Republican caucus who would seek to use my service representing the greatest state in the Union in Congress as an opportunity for them to distract from the fact that they have absolutely no real policy solutions for the issues that actually plague this country. And, in some cases, to grab headlines themselves. I was not surprised that there was an effort to politicize an issue that no one truly cares about—what bathroom I use. I did think that it might wait until January. It happened a little earlier than I anticipated. I was still getting lost in the tunnels of the Capitol when we got the news that this was coming.

What was your first reaction to it?

“Here we go.” Throughout the campaign, I really focussed my campaign on my record in the Delaware General Assembly: of passing paid leave, expanding access to health care, and the kitchen-table issues that I know keep voters across Delaware up at night that I will be working on in Congress, like lowering the cost of housing, health care, and child care. But, as I got questions about the added responsibilities that sometimes come with being a first, the first thing I would always say is that I know that the only way I can do right by any community I’m a part of is to quite simply be the best member of Congress for Delaware that I can be, to be an effective member working on all of the issues that matter.

When I was watching this play out on television, reading about it, in the past week or two, I looked up how the first Black member of Congress was received, Hiram Revels. This is in the nineteenth century. He was treated with a great deal more respect than you were. I understand your desire to be poised about this, and straightforward, and to move the issues to the issues you ran on. But I wonder what your emotional reaction was to what you could only have taken as an enormous gesture of deep disrespect.

Look, I’m human, and it never feels good to be used as an opportunity to get headlines. It never feels good to have people talk about deeply personal things. I think I knew what I was signing up for, though; I know what the Republican Party in this country, in Congress, has become.

Which is what?

A party that is more interested in performance art and being professional provocateurs than being serious legislators and a serious governing party. I think they have come to the conclusion that they are able to get enough votes if they occasionally throw red meat to folks, because that red meat might satiate what is an authentic crisis of hope that I think people across this country face right now.

I think we have to be crystal clear in calling them out on what they are doing, and pull the curtain back to really dull the effect that these manufactured culture wars have on the American voter. Some people do receive this red meat, and it resonates with them—it makes them feel better, but it doesn’t actually address the real pain in their lives. And I think we should be calling that out and obviously modelling an approach to governing that genuinely solves the real problems that people are facing that create a level of insecurity and fear that allows for culture wars to satiate at least something instantaneously.

But I truly believe that if we solve problems, if we are serious, people respond. I’ve seen that in Delaware as we have passed paid leave, raised the minimum wage. Voters here in Delaware are sort of bucking this national trend. We’ve expanded our majorities both in 2022 and 2024 in the Delaware General Assembly, I believe, as a byproduct of a record of results that voters are responding to, and a message focussed on kitchen-table issues and economic issues. And it’s allowed us to not only expand our majorities but to break through the culture wars that the Republican Party has pursued. Because we’re in Delaware, in the Philadelphia media market—we are getting those anti-trans Trump ads pumped into our state like we were in Pennsylvania. And yet, despite that, running on a message of paid leave, higher minimum wage, union protections, a trans candidate not only won here in Delaware but actually outperformed every major Democrat running for major office in Delaware statewide.

And yet the notorious ads that ended with “Kamala Harris is for they/them, President Trump is for you”—ads that were oriented around anti-trans sentiment—not only did they occur, they worked. Certainly, they worked in the interpretation of not only the Republicans but the press at large. They ran them over and over again and poured millions of dollars into them.

So, first off, I think there are two things. One, this country is still entering into a conversation about trans people. This country still is at a Trans 101 spot. And one of the things I think Democrats have to be more mindful of is that leaders should always be out in front of public opinion, but, in order to foster change in public opinion, we’ve got to be within arm’s distance of the public so that we can pull them along with us. If we get too out ahead of it, we lose our grip and we’re unable to pull the public with us.

Is that what’s responsible for your calm in talking about this? I remember very well that Barack Obama, when he was running for State Senate in Illinois, got a questionnaire, and one of the questions was “Are you for gay marriage?” He didn’t say yes. Now, everything I know about Barack Obama tells me that, at that time, a clear “no” was not his real sentiment, but that he didn’t want to get too far out ahead, for political reasons. He clearly changed later on. Is that part of your calculus in the way you talk about this? Because Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez answered Nancy Mace in much more vitriolic terms.

I think there is a space for diversity of messengers and a diversity of message. I would never presume what was in Barack Obama’s heart and mind on the issue of marriage equality. Many people authentically evolved. What we do know is that, as the movement for marriage equality moved forward, the most effective messengers for marriage were not same-sex couples, were not parents of same-sex couples or kids of same-sex couples. The most effective messengers for marriage equality were those who evolved. And they were effective because they gave a permission structure to people who had not yet gotten there that it was O.K. to be uncomfortable, it was O.K. to be on the other side of the issue. You weren’t a bad person; you weren’t wrong.

My motto has always been: I’ll extend grace so long as people demonstrate growth. But that is a two-way street. And I think that we are shooting ourselves in the foot, as people who believe in progress, when we create no incentive for people to grow, because they perceive that they will be permanently guilty for having been wrong. We create no space for them to grow by extending no grace for them to actually walk there. I think one of the reasons why we see people pushed into their respective corners is because you say something that’s deemed problematic, and you are immediately hounded by one side and immediately embraced by the other side. Human nature is to—when faced with that degree of extreme binary reactions—go to the people who are validating you instantaneously. We unintentionally actually push people further and further into their own corners and into their negative opinion by responding with a degree of condemnation and vitriol that creates no incentive and space for them to grow.

But I actually want to say something on those ads, because you did say the key sentence in that ad. It wasn’t the surgery point, it wasn’t the undocumented-immigrant point, it wasn’t the trans point, it was the concept in that line that Kamala Harris, according to the ad, was for a small group of people, and Donald Trump was there for “you.” The lesson of this moment, of this last week, is that we should be flipping that script. Because that’s the authentic thing—Kamala Harris was for everyone. And Democrats are for everyone. And every single time Republicans focus in on a small vulnerable group of people, not only are they trying to distract from the fact that they have no real solutions—not only are they trying to employ the politics of misdirection, to move your attention away from the fact that in that same moment they’re trying to pick the pocket of American workers, undermine union protections, and fleece seniors by privatizing Medicare through the back door—but every bit of time and energy that is diverted to attack trans people, that diverts the attention of the federal government away toward attacking trans people, is time and energy that is not being spent on you. It’s time and attention that’s not being spent on raising your wages or improving your benefits or lowering the cost of living. These attacks have costs. Republicans are focussed on attacking a small group of people, and we are here to actually address the issues that you care about.

You’ve now had a week with your new colleagues, and I wonder what kind of support, or the opposite, you felt in your orientation sessions after Nancy Mace made the statement she did.

I have been overwhelmed and heartened by the love and the support of my Democratic colleagues. It was stunning. I got to Washington, and I’m at orientation. I’m grateful that I had a week before all of this started, because I had a week to just marvel at the fact that I was there. I had a week to marvel at the fact that I am serving in a body that Abraham Lincoln served in. One of the first nights we were there, we gathered in Statuary Hall, which is the Old Hall of the House, which is where Abraham Lincoln served. And then, after we gathered there, we walked onto the floor of the United States House of Representatives, where they moved in 1857, just before the Civil War broke out. And we sat in the chairs and I thought, This is the space where the Thirteenth Amendment and the Fourteenth Amendment were passed. This is the space where women got the right to vote. This is the space, these are the chairs. This is the job of the people who voted to pass the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act. And you feel this awesome responsibility, not just to deliver on the tangible policies for the constituents you serve in that moment, but you also feel that deep responsibility as you realize that you are one of a little more than five hundred people who have the responsibility to be stewards of a democracy—of the longest ongoing democracy in the world. That is an awe-inspiring responsibility.

I’m really grateful that I had that opportunity. But what was made that much more meaningful was that in that second week, as all of this noise happened—as I continued to be focussed on the actual work that I was there to do—the love and the support that came in from my Democratic colleagues really reinforced what I had already been hearing, which is that that caucus is a family.

And what about the Republican side? Did you get any support from there?

Yes. Look, there was a lot unsaid, but there was kindness and clear intentionality to say, “Welcome to Congress. It’s wonderful to serve with you.” That was quite a contrast to some of the other behavior we saw that week.

People actually coming up to you from the Republican side and embracing you in one way or another?

Yes. Staff and members.

The Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, released a statement that said all single-sex facilities are for people of that “biological” sex. You responded to this on X, formerly Twitter (it’s interesting that you’re still on Twitter!), by calling this a distraction and saying that you’ll follow the rules as outlined by Johnson. But what do you say to people in the trans community who think you didn’t go far enough?

I understand that, at a moment where you are scared, you want to see someone fight. I understand that when you are a first, there are a lot of people who never dreamed that something like this would be possible, who are living on that journey with you. And so they feel very deeply the experience of discrimination. They feel very viscerally the experience of disrespect. I think what I would say is, This was not done to bar me from restrooms. This was done to invite me to take the bait and to fight. I am maintaining my power by turning the other cheek and doing what I promised Delawareans I would do, which is to focus on the job in front of me. Yes, when that calls for me to defend my L.G.B.T.Q. constituents, I will do that; when it calls on me to defend workers in my state, I will do that; when it calls on me to defend retirees in my state, I will do that. But I should not be the issue.

You must have anticipated, if not this, then something like it. And of course you are a first, a historical first. Do you face a lot of threats?

I think one of the problems in our politics right now is the level of toxicity has resulted in far too many people seeking to solve political disputes not at the ballot box but through violence. I am certainly not alone in Congress in having to think through that. I think it’s very early. There have been moments throughout my life where I have had to be cognizant. I’ve never had a job where I have not received death threats. Literally, I have never had a job—even when I was in my first, junior-level position.

How do you handle them?

Well, fortunately, we’ve got great law enforcement here in Delaware that I have worked with over the course of this campaign and throughout my time in the State Senate. Look, one of the things that I grappled with when I decided to run for this position is the risk that comes with being a first at this level. Even though I didn’t run to be a first, there’s obviously risk that comes with it. And there was a moment where I almost didn’t do it. Because of the fear.

Tell me about that. Was it a specific incident or just a generalized fear?

There were some rumors about what some far-right-wing groups might try to do, should I run.

When did this come up?

This was before I announced. There was a lot of speculation about me running.

So what within you allowed you to make the leap and declare yourself a candidate for Congress?

A couple of things. First off, I think that we delude ourselves into thinking that people don’t take these types of steps without fear. People aren’t fearless. Bravery only comes into play when you face those fears, when you pursue something despite the fears. I really do believe that we are at an inflection point where we need a politics of grace in this country if we are going to have any chance at not only restoring our capacity to have a national dialogue, which is fundamentally necessary in a democracy, but actually making government work better. I genuinely felt like I had something to contribute in that respect. I think I know how to get things done. I know how to legislate.

But you’re going to have to embody grace—and there’s every sign that you already do—but with a President who says, publicly, something like this: “Your kid goes to school and a few days later comes home with an operation.” That’s the President of the United States, come January 20th. How do you combat that, and all that’s behind it, and embody grace?

I think a couple of things, and I think this extends beyond Donald Trump. So I’m going to step back a little bit. I think Democrats struggle with extending one of our basic principles—which is that no one is their worst act, no one is their worst belief—to people on the other side of the political divide. I’m not talking about Donald Trump right now. I’m talking about Republicans. The question here is not how do I demonstrate grace in the face of Donald Trump; it’s how do I demonstrate grace in a world where people that I work with—where even people that I represent—hold positions and beliefs about who I am that are personally hurtful, potentially.

I think all of us need to do a better job of seeing the humanity of people on the other side of the aisle. Because I think what happens in this country right now is: The left says to the right, “What do you know about pain, white straight man? My pain is real, as an L.G.B.T.Q. person.” And the right says to the left, “What do you know about pain, college-educated, cosmopolitan élite? My pain is real, in a post-industrial community ravaged by the opioid crisis.” And I know that, when I am upset, the worst thing that someone can say to me, even if it is said with the best of intentions, is “It’s not as bad as you think.” Any therapist will tell you that the first step to healing is to have your pain seen and validated. And I think all of us have to do a better job of recognizing that people don’t have to be right in our mind for what they’re facing to be wrong. And people don’t have to be right in our minds for us to try to right that wrong. That comes down to sort of a core recognition that every single person is more than just one thing about them. And every single person is more than even beliefs that might personally hurt many other people. And the other thing I’ll say on that is to a similar point: early on in my career, I went viral for something.

Do you remember what it was?

Ironically enough, I was an advocate. It was a selfie in a bathroom in North Carolina that I was technically barred from being in.

I see.

The vitriol that came back to me as a twentysomething-year-old was so dehumanizing and so cruel and so mean. It was the closest in my life that I have ever been to suicide becoming a rational thought. I wasn’t suicidal, but it was the first moment where I just went, I want to end this miserable experience.

What was coming at you?

I mean just the level of online bullying and harassment. It was amazing to me that people—person after person—telling me to kill myself could actually hurt me. But it was an onslaught. And, again, I was twenty-five. I was new to all this, and I thought, Maybe I don’t have skin thick enough for this. I sort of went on a journey to understand the psychology of trolling and bullying. I think it was a “This American Life” podcast by a writer who talks a lot about her own weight and grapples with her own body image in a really public and vulnerable way, talking about the experience that she had writing about that hurt and getting outreach from one of her worst bullies and trolls online—someone who had created a Twitter account as her deceased father to troll her from—who opened up to her about what was motivating him. And, listening to that conversation, it really helped me internalize a truth that has allowed me to find balance and grace in the face of hatred or cruelty. And that was: Everyone deals with an insecurity. Everyone deals with something that society has told them that they should be ashamed of or that they should hide. And the thing about me is that I have taken that insecurity, that thing that society has said you should be ashamed of and you should keep quiet—and I’ve not only accepted it but I walk forward from a place of pride in it. Bullies see that. They see that individual agency and conquering my own fears and insecurities, and they’re jealous of that. That has allowed me to find compassion for folks who respond to me in sometimes the way that they do, to recognize that I hope, too, they can find the power to overcome whatever pain is plaguing them.

And so much so that when Nancy Mace made the comments that she did, and put forward the bill that she did—are you able to see it in those terms and not receive the attacks with the same despair that you did when you were in your twenties?

Yes. Yes.

That’s an enormous transformation.

I won’t say that it doesn’t hurt, but, yes, I am not distracted in the same way that I was.

“Distracted” is a small word for it. I mean, what you felt in your twenties must’ve been a lot worse than “distracted,” no?

Yeah. I am able to contextualize it and not feel the pain as much. Again, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt, but I am able to work through it.

How? That’s a very hard thing. Is it therapy? Is it maturation? Is it living in your skin ten years longer? What is it?

I think the last two: I think it’s maturation, and I think it’s just finding a confidence in myself that allows me not to internalize. I really do seek to find compassion for the people who are acting out, who say the things that they do, because that does help me. That does help me to try to see and understand where a person is coming from, even if the action itself explicitly or implicitly is not well-intentioned, even if it’s being done for cynical purposes—to try to understand that there’s still a person behind that and maybe there’s something in their life that has pushed them to engage in the way that they’re engaging.

In a certain number of weeks, you’re not only going to have to hear about Nancy Mace, you’re going to have to work with her. And you talk a lot about “working across the aisle,” which is a phrase that we hear from politicians all the time. This takes on new levels of meaning—“working across the aisle with Nancy Mace.” Can you do it?

Well, I look forward to working with colleagues on the Republican side of the aisle who are serious about the work that they’re doing. Who have disagreements with me, perhaps profound disagreements with me, but who are serious about getting things done.

For the first time in our conversation, I sense you’re reluctant to answer the question directly. With all respect.

I will work with anyone who’s willing to work with me. And I don’t know this individual member of Congress—I had barely heard of her before this. I will never say that anyone is beyond redemption.

I want to zoom out a bit now and talk about your own unique path to politics and congress. Your late husband, Andrew Cray, was an L.G.B.T.Q.+ health advocate and attorney. What kind of work did he focus on, and what of his legacy can be seen in your own political career and direction?

Andy was the kindest, smartest, and—this is very important for me in a partner—the goofiest person that I had ever met. Just a really good and decent person.

How did you meet?

We bumped into each other at a White House Pride reception during the fourth year of the Obama Administration, 2012. After that, he reached back out to me on social media, on Facebook, and he said that he thought we’d get along “swimmingly.” I thought, Who the hell in their twenties says the word “swimmingly”? But clearly someone I want to spend some time with. So we went out on a date, and I fell in love pretty quickly.

Was he already sick?

No. He was an attorney, as you mentioned, working on health policy, and he was actually working on the implementation of the Affordable Care Act. He was a brilliant mind, but also—and I think this goes back to our conversation about grace—he was so principled. I remember we had a debate once where he won me over—where we had a debate about whether it was appropriate to out anti-L.G.B.T.Q. politicians who were in the closet themselves. I was of the mind that their hypocrisy called on us to out them. And he was of the mind that the principle that we are fighting for—that everyone should be able to live their life fully and freely, be able to live their sexual orientation and gender identity, the way they see fit and the way they need to—if that is not an unbreakable first principle, then what is? And principles only matter when you have seemingly altruistic reasons to violate them. He was someone of just immense grace, principled grace.

He got sick about a year into our relationship. He developed a sore on his tongue and went in thinking it was just a benign growth. He had a little minor surgery to remove the benign growth, which was aborted in the middle of the procedure as they realized perhaps that it was something more. About a week later, he was diagnosed with oral cancer. It was a shock to both of us. I mean, we were both young invincibles, something that he had written about as he worked on the A.C.A., right? We never would’ve imagined that cancer would enter our lives in our mid-twenties, but we knew from the very start how lucky we were. He knew in particular, given his work, how lucky he was to have health insurance. And we were both very lucky to have flexibility with our jobs that allowed Andy to get care: a twelve-hour surgery that left him having to relearn how to talk, how to eat, how to breathe. I was lucky to be there by his side to care for him, to suction his tracheostomy tube, to tend to his wounds, to hold his hand through the absolute fear.

And then eventually, when his cancer turned out to be terminal, to be there by his side, to marry him, and to walk him to his passing, which happened a couple of days after we were fortunate enough to get married in our building. My brother, who’s a radiation oncologist, said to me, “I’ve seen a lot of people pass away from cancer. And one thing you should try to take stock of over the weeks ahead, as Andy’s health deteriorates, is that you are going to bear witness to acts of amazing grace that will fill your life.” And truly that grace and those miracles were everywhere. I think it has fundamentally shifted my perspective on the world and my ability to see that grace, to see beauty and tragedy, and to recognize that hope, as an emotion, only makes sense in the face of hardship.

In other words, you’re thinking about him all the time through this?

Yes. Yes.

And what does that do for you?

It makes me feel less alone in navigating this. It makes me feel more confident in what I’m doing and how I’m trying to go about this. There’s certainly things that I wish I could talk to him about and get his perspective on, but I try to take the lessons from our couple of years together and try to draw those lessons into action in this moment.

We began our conversation with you talking about how moved you were to be in the halls of Congress for the first time as a soon-to-be member, and seeing and sensing all that had happened in progressive terms, in liberatory terms, over time and in previous centuries. My guess is that this is not going to characterize the next two years for you in Congress. The Democratic Party, in large measure, will be fighting a rear-guard action against all kinds of initiatives by a Trump Presidency in a Republican Congress. How do you anticipate the coming next two years? What kind of role will the Democrats and you play? What will be your day-to-day life, do you think?

Well, there’s no question that we’ve got our work cut out for us. There’s no question that we’re going to have to push back on a lot of damaging and dangerous policies.

But, look, I think the biggest challenge for us is not that we understand that there’s a fight. And we will do the work. The challenge is going to be to summon the hope necessary to see that fight through. I think that one of the challenges that we have in this country right now, particularly for Democrats, is that, really since the nineteen-sixties, it has felt like if we simply work for it, if we vote for it, if we volunteer, if we share our stories, if we lift our voices, that we can then inevitably bend the arc of the moral universe toward justice. And we felt that, I think particularly, in 2008 and when we elected Barack Obama, and then A.C.A. passed, and marriage equality became a law of the land. It just felt like there was this sort of unfolding sense of great progress.

It feels different right now. It doesn’t feel like, if we simply work for it and fight for it, that change will come, that things will work out. We can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But the other thing that I thought about, as I sat in that chair on the floor of the House, was about not only the elected officials that served there but all of the advocates and activists and citizens who lived through those different chapters in our country’s history. We have to recognize that that sense of inevitability with hard work that we felt twenty years ago, thirty years ago—that’s the exception in our country’s history. Every single previous generation of Americans has been called to conquer odds much greater than the ones that we’re facing right now. And they had every reason to believe that change would not come. They could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Enslaved people in the eighteen-fifties had no reason to believe that an Emancipation Proclamation was on the horizon. Unemployed workers during the early days of the Great Depression had never heard of a New Deal. Patrons at the Stonewall Inn never knew of a country where they could live openly and authentically as themselves. And yet they persevered. They summoned their hope, they found that light, and ultimately they changed the world.

The narrative you describe is very, how do I put it—Obamian? It reminds me of Obama’s speech in Selma, the last one he gave there as President, about a kind of parade of American heroic advance. And when I talk to a lot of younger people in my office, in my life, in my family, they don’t all share the sense of determined hope that you do. There’s a good deal of depression—if not giving up, then a kind of sense that these are going to be very dark times to come. And with all the emergencies surrounding us, at home and abroad, and environmentally, it’s very hard to muster hope. As a politician, as a member of Congress, what do you tell them?

You cannot tell me that the reasons for hopelessness now are greater than the reasons for hopelessness of an enslaved person. You cannot tell me that the reasons for hopelessness now are greater than the insecurity and the fear of workers in the midst of the Great Depression, and a country that very easily could have fallen into totalitarianism and fascism, as many liberal democracies around the world were falling into that, in the early thirties.

Hope is not always an organic emotion. Sometimes we have to consciously find it and consciously summon it. And, yes, there are big challenges right now. Maybe those challenges are insurmountable. Maybe we will be, because of social media, incapable of restoring our capacity to have a national dialogue. Maybe because of the culture that we live in right now, we will no longer be able to have conversations across disagreement. Maybe because of unchecked wealth and corporate power, we won’t be able to conquer climate change. The list goes on. Maybe. But we would be the first generation of Americans to give up on this country, and we would be the first generation of Americans who were unable to find the path forward. And I just don’t believe that we are. And I certainly believe that we don’t have to be.

[deadpresidents]

"Mr. Trump's election demonstrates how American tolerance for the unacceptable is nearly infinite. There are hundreds of absolutely mind-boggling things I could point to from the past decade...But three election in a row, Mr. Trump has been a viable Presidential candidate and our democracy has few guardrails to protect the country from the clear and present danger he and his political appointees will continue to confer upon us. Clearly, Mr. Trump is successful because of his faults, not despite them, because we do not live in a just world...And now Republicans will control the executive branch, the Senate and the House of Representatives. There will be few checks and balances...

...Mr. Trump's voters are granted a level of care and coddling that defies credulity and that is afforded to no other voting bloc. Many of them believe the most ludicrous things: babies being aborted after birth and children going to school as one gender and returning home surgically altered as another gender even though these things simply do not happen. Time and again, we hear the wild lies these voters believe and we act as if they are sharing the same reality as ours, as if they are making informed decisions about legitimate issues. We act as if they get to dictate the terms of political engagement on a foundation of fevered mendacity.

We must refuse to participate in a mass delusion. We must refuse to accept that the ignorance on display is a congenital condition rather than a choice. All of us should refuse to pretend that any of this is normal and that these voters are just woefully misunderstood and that if only the Democrats addressed their economic anxiety, they might vote differently. While they are numerous, that does not make them right.

These are adults, so let us treat them like adults. Let us acknowledge that they want to believe nonsense and conjecture. They want to believe anything that affirms their worldview. They want to celebrate a leader who allows them to nurture their basest beliefs about others. The biggest challenge of our lifetime will be figuring out how to combat the American willingness to embrace flagrant misinformation and bigotry.

As Mr. Trump assembles his cabinet of loyalists and outlines the alarming policies he means to enact, it's hard not to imagine the worst, not out of paranoia but as a means of preparation. The incoming President has clearly articulated that he may dismantle the Department of Education and appears to be giving the wealthiest man in the world unfettered access to the Oval Office. He plans to begin mass deportations immediately and has announced his pick of a Fox News host as the defense secretary -- the list goes on, each promise more appalling than the last.

We would like to believe that many of the ideas on Mr. Trump's demented wish list won't actually come to fruition and that our democracy can once more withstand the new President and the people with whom he surrounds himself. But that is just desperate, wishful thinking. As of yet, there is nothing that will break the iron grip Mr. Trump has on his base, and Vice President-elect JD Vance is young enough to carry the mantle going forward for political cycles to come.

Absolutely anything is possible, and we must acknowledge this, not out of surrender, but as a means of readying ourselves for the impossible fights ahead."

-- Roxane Gay, "Enough", The New York Times, November 17, 2024.

This is one of the best, most spot-on pieces about where we are and what we must prepare ourselves for in the aftermath of Donald Trump's re-election to the Presidency. These gift links will allow you to bypass the NYT paywall and read the entire article, and I urge you to share these links with as many people as you'd like.

[7seas-of-ryy]

I Need You | Part 1

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Author’s Note: I want this to be multiple parts because I have a storyline that would feel crammed if I did it in one part! Not sure exactly how long I'll make it! Angst AND fluff!!

Summary: You've been in love with Azriel for as long as you can remember but it seems he always wants what he can't have. You want him to be happy with Elain but what will it cost you?

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: Nightmares, let me know if I need to add any others :)

You were running as fast as you could and it wasn't fast enough. The creature was catching up to you and the second it got you, you knew you'd be gone forever. Sweat poured down your body, fear was coursing through you as you heard the monster start to... laugh behind you? It was truly enjoying the chase. Suddenly shadows started to appear, starting at your ankles then wrapping around your body until they were covering you entirely.

Azriel. He was here to save you and the relief you felt was sweet. You knew the shadows would protect you. Until, as quickly as they appeared, they began to fade away. What? No, this can't be happening. You're cover is entirely gone and the creature jumps at you. You struggle against it and scream for the shadowsinger but its no use. It sinks it's teeth right into your neck and right as you're about to die...

You jolt awake. Immediately grabbing for your neck to make sure there are no marks and convince your brain there was no actual monster.

The immediate dread of putting on a smile for the rest of the day hit you. Everyone in the IC had their own problems and nightmares, you didn't need to burden any of them with your own.

So, you got yourself ready for the day, put on a happy face, and headed down for breakfast. Only Cassian, Feyre, and Rhys were down and eating already.

"Good morning sunshine" Cass spoke with a mouth full of food.

You smiled at him and sat down with a cup of coffee, not in the mood to fill your stomach after that horrible dream.

"How did you sleep?" Feyre asked, her kind eyes watching you

"Good" You forced out and Feyre's eyebrows rose at the clipped word. Rhys and Cass were now watching you as well.

"Uh I was thinking of going out today, maybe try out the new bakery that opened up." You said quickly, hoping they wouldn't notice you trying to change the subject.

"Oh! Azriel was just telling us he wanted to try it out! He'll definitely want to go with you!" Feyre spoke

As if speaking his name had summoned him, he walked in with Elain at his side.

"Did I hear my name?" The shadowsinger asked

"Our dear friend here was just telling us she was going to try that new bakery today and we knew you wanted to as well." Cass said while throwing an arm around you with a big smirk

Azriel's eyes lit up ever so slightly. "Ah yes, I did want to try that. I'm afraid I'll be busy for a while. Would you like to go tonight instead?"

You nodded your head with a shy smile, "Yes that would be nice. I'll meet you there"

He tilted his head in acknowledgment at you and went back to his conversation with Elain.

You had been crushing on Azriel for so long, maybe too long. For a while you'd hoped he felt the same, but it seemed his attention was always elsewhere. He's been too busy with Elain all the time so you barely got to hang out with him anymore. To say you were excited to finally get some time with him was an understatement.

You went up to your room, packed your bag for the day and left for the city. Even though you had a rough start, maybe today would be a good day... Maybe.

[shunsuiken]

cw. gn!reader + you are a rather shy lover & sunday thinks its the cutest thing ever + kinda ooc + set in pre-version 2.2

sunday looks… far too handsome for a gala. it’s actually baffling how he captures your attention like no other being on penacony—or even the entire universe in fact! his shimmery golden eyes resemble a warm horizon and his voice is smooth and soothing like honey. but that smile… oh, that smile—it stirs a storm of butterflies in your belly and muffles the sound of people in the hall.

you gaze at him softly from where you stand, partially participating in conversation with guests. he’s really gone all out for this gala, huh… you’re snapped out of your thoughts the second your name is mentioned, immediately you giving the guest a smile to acknowledge what they’ve said, and then offer some input on what they were talking about.

when the conversation allows you to withdraw, you find yourself looking for sunday again. but he’s not where he was standing at earlier—he’s gone somewhere else! you unknowingly pout at the thought of this, folding your hands in front of yourself neatly as you try to search for your lover.

“i could feel your stare from a mile away, my dearest,” sunday chuckles lightly, a free hand caressing your back to comfort you. “have you found who you were looking for?” he raises a brow cheekily, amusement laced in his tone.

you jump slightly at the sudden presence of a person, then relax when you realise it’s your lover. you lean in a little closer, happy you’ve found who you’ve been searching for before awkwardly tearing your gaze away from him after considering how much your face must have brightened up. oh how embarrassing…

sunday watches your entire thought process from start to finish on the look on your face, having to stifle a laugh behind his gloved hand. “i’m afraid your expressions are as transparent as glass,” he hums, tilting his head to meet your timid gaze. “were you looking for me?”

you want to slide under the table and make yourself home there. there’s nowhere for you to run when you’re in sunday’s arms! your cheeks are lit aflame at how he stares at you—observing every inch of your features and how they twitch or curl because of him.

“no, i wasn’t—i simply was taking note of how well dressed everyone happened to be tonight!” you elaborate, obviously lying. sunday sees right through you.

and so he decides to play along.

the halovian hums a sound of agreement. “well said, my dove. but in your opinion, who would you say is the most best-dressed?”

no one dares to look upon the kind of affection sunday gives you. guests and members of the family simply turn their gaze away while the oak family head practically cradles you in his arms. red hearts might as well be shooting out of his eyes!

you blink, a little shocked by his question because did he really have to ask?! the answer is right in front of you!

“w-well,” you stutter, averting your gaze and it is to your misfortune that you miss to see how his soft amber gaze follows yours, as if not to miss a single thought that would reveal itself from the look on your face. “the suit you’ve chosen for this occasion is the most splendid colour.”

a small laugh erupts from his throat. “why thank you, my dove.” he pulls you a little closer and you squeak. “so you think i’m the best dressed?”

you stare at him and grant him an answer with a small nod. but with every passing second he showers you with his attention, the gradual heat that was previously tolerable is now a blazing inferno, dancing across your cheeks.

sunday realises now that he has to calm down. for the sake of his fragile-hearted lover and for the sake of his reputation. any more of this teasing and that really inappropriate sentence queuing at the back of his throat will really leave his lips.

his eyes do sparkle at how your lip quivers. you are just the cutest little thing!

“i am only kidding, dearest one.” he gives you a soft smile, hand rubbing circles on your hip. “though i do appreciate your thoughts.”

[restinslices]

okay chat maybe him like getting jealous

Assuming you’re the anon who asked about Spooky

Him this episode >>>>>>>>>>

I've seen posts before about Spooky and people say he'd pull out a gun and start swearing when he's jealous and really show his ass but honestly? I don't think that's accurate 

I haven't watched OMB in a hot minute and Netflix is being some hoes rn so forgive me if I'm wrong but wasn't he incredibly patient?

He was patient with Cesar and with Cesar’s friends. I don't recall him ever losing his temper and going insane besides season 4 when he heard people fucking shit up outside 

Spooky gives me the silent jealous type. Silent but also petty 

Like if you came back to him after talking to a guy he'd say some petty shit like “thought you'd be around him all day”

“That's your man now, right?” “Stop being childish”

You could tell when he's jealous though cause you'd feel him staring at you the whole time 

I could also see him clearing his throat loud as hell if you're nearby to both get your attention and introduce him to whoever it is you're talking to 

It's gotta be a guy he doesn't know cause realistically what Santo is dumb enough to flirt with you?

I feel like I'm expected to say he'd have this huge outburst but Oscar doesn't give me that vibe. He's pretty patient and I think especially if y'all have been together for an extended amount of time, he'd feel secure enough to know you won't do some foul shit 

I feel like someone touching you would cause him to immediately get involved. He'd walk over and physically take their hand off of you while pulling you closer to him or behind him 

And let's be real, no one is dumb enough to try shit with him. He's 6’1 and known as the leader of the Santos 

But if someone did try him because they're drunk or whatever, I feel that even though he's jealous he'd still put your safety first. His jealousy would go to the back of his mind and he'd try to get you out in case shit gets intense 

Another situation he'd step in is if you're visibly uncomfortable. Typically if someone's flirting with you, he knows you can handle it but if you're so obviously uncomfortable then he'd step in and get you away 

I feel like if you're dating Oscar your safety would go over everything so while he's still a man and wants to play all big and bad in whoever's face, getting you away is his biggest priority 

“Are you jealous?” “Should I be?” “No” then he'd nod or smth 

Now let's say you're hanging around a new guy a lot. Would he get jealous? Probably. He's a guy. 

This is a different situation ‘cause he's not seeing anything. He can't pull you away. What does he do?

Short answer; nothing. Long answer; he doesn't seem like the type to be so jealous he'd snoop on your phone or follow you because relationships require trust and if you caught him, you'd be upset. I could see him asking questions about the guy and then denying he's jealous ‘cause “I have nothing to be jealous about”

And it's like??? Are you telling me  that or telling yourself that? 

Over time it'd become obvious he's feeling a certain way. You'd say you're gonna hang out with whoever the guy is and he'd just make a “mmm” sound instead of actually responding 

“Something wrong?” “I didn't say anything” “Exactly”. Eventually it'd come out though 

And the idea of him flirting with someone else to make you jealous comes up but I don't think that'd happen. He hardly has any relationships besides his gang which means he hardly has any close relationships. He has the kids, who he's like an older brother too (or literally an older brother to) and Mario (and we don't know how much they interact) so I don't see him risking a relationship just to be on petty shit 

He'd say smth petty but flirting with someone else just as payback for some shit you can't control? Nah

You could probably calm him down easily just by being near him. Making jokes about him being jealous would help also because it's you acknowledging that you see how he feels without having a sappy ass conversation 

I feel like this is so anticlimactic and disappointing but realistically I don't see him flipping his shit. He's 19-25, which could make him a bit immature but 1) he's grown up quickly so I think he can handle his emotions. 2) He has two strikes already. He's not popping his shit and risking life in prison because he was jealous. And 3) he knows you know where home is. 

He gets jealous, sure, but all those reasons stacked together makes him act calm, only getting somewhat aggressive if someone is touching you or making you uncomfortable. He’s more petty than anything

Quick story time. So I got away from my abusive dad when I was 13-14, right. I was also obsessed with Spooky. Tell me why my therapist said “I think you love him so much because he’s a strong and scary guy and in your head he’d protect you if your dad came back for you”. The way I almost blocked her-

I’m still seeing her years later😃

[ithilien-writes]

Ficlet prompt: buddie runs into one of their exes in public

ty so much for this prompt!! 💜 i literally cycled through all the exes in my head and it was really hard to choose tbh

(to anyone reading: these were meant to be quick scenes to help unblock me so please take them in that spirit. ie. this was written really quickly and without much editing. feel free to send me some more!!)

---

Buck, Blissful and Blasé [Buck/Eddie, G, ~1k words]

Eddie looks away for two seconds at most, he swears. Just long enough to scan the shelf for the specific detergent Buck always buys. He doesn't actually know the brand off the top of his head, but he knows it has a blue cap. So he scans the shelf for blue, finds the one he needs, and when he looks back down... Joy is gone.

His heart immediately races, but he only has to look down the aisle to spot her again, thankfully. She's just a few feet away, really, towards the other end of the aisle, and there's a woman crouched down to talk to her. Eddie all but jogs over to them, heart still a little in his throat.

"Hey, what did we say about running off?" he says when he reaches her, trying for stern but coming out a little panicked still. He reaches down and lifts her up into his arms and the woman she was with stands back up as well.

"Sorry, about that-" he starts to say, before he actually sees the woman's face, then- "Abby?"

She blinks at him from behind her glasses and he can almost see her mind whirring, trying to place him. It doesn't look like she's successful.

"Hi," she offers tentatively. "I don't- sorry, I don't think I-"

"Eddie," he offers, adjusting Joy in his arms and feeling supremely awkward. "Eddie Diaz. I used to be at the 118? We met when, uh-"

Recognition finally clicks in behind her eyes.

"Oh my God, the train collision," she breathes out. "You're the one who saved Sam's life."

Eddie huffs a little, looking away from her suddenly emotional gaze.

"That was all Buck," he says honestly, trying not to let the old frustration creep into his voice at the thought of it. It all happened years ago now.

He catches Abby smile a little at the mention of Buck, then she shakes her head slightly.

"I can't believe you remembered my name after all this time," she says. "You must really have a knack for that."

"Oh," Eddie says, somewhat awkwardly, "That's-"

He trails off, not sure how exactly to say, actually, I remember your name because my husband was still in love with you when we first met and he used to talk about you all the time.

He's saved - in a manner of speaking - from actually having to come up with a coherent response though. Because right at that moment, he sees Abby's eyes widen, and there's suddenly a very familiar voice behind him.

"Strawberry was on sale, so I got the six pack," Buck tells him, before easily taking Joy from his hands with a soft, "hey Sweetheart, come here."

Eddie gives him a beat, and then, sure enough-

"Abby? Oh my God. What are you doing here?"

He immediately moves to hug her - a little clumsily with only one arm free, Joy tucked between them - and Abby hugs him back, though she does appear slightly shell-shocked by his sudden appearance.

"We're in town visiting my brother," she answers his question, as Buck pulls back again.

The three of them just stand there for a moment then, seemingly at a loss for what else to say, until Abby glances between Eddie and Buck, and Buck catches the motion, jumping back in to make introductions.

"Oh uh, you- so I guess you remembered Eddie," he says, seemingly acknowledging the fact that they had already been in conversation when he walked up. "Uh, and- and this is our daughter, Joy."

Then, to Joy- "Joy, honey, this is my friend Abby."

Joy peaks her head back out from where she'd tucked it into Buck's neck as soon as he'd grabbed her from Eddie, and then tentatively smiles at Abby, who grins back at her.

"Hi Joy," she says. There's some sort of wistful emotion in her eyes when she looks from his daughter back to Buck that Eddie immediately - and probably irrationally - dislikes.

"Joy," she repeats again, still looking at Buck this time. "I love that."

"Yeah, well," Buck says, laughing a little and playfully tickling Joy in his arms to get her to laugh too, "we feel a lot of it, when she's around. So it's pretty apt."

"I'll bet," Abby replies warmly.

She watches them for a moment as Buck gets a little caught up playing with Joy and forgets he was having an adult conversation. Eddie's used to it. It happens... well. A lot.

"Well, I don't want to keep you guys," Abby says eventually, drawing Buck's attention back, "but it was so great to see you. We should get dinner while I'm in town."

"Yeah," Buck says, just as Eddie adamantly thinks, No thanks. "Yeah, definitely."

Abby pats his arm as she moves past him to leave and Buck watches her go with a look on his face that Eddie can't immediately interpret. It makes him a little nervous.

"We're not really gonna have dinner with them, right?" he asks, and it's at least enough to have Buck turning back towards him.

"What?" he says, like he didn't hear the question. But then before Eddie can repeat himself- "No, that's just- I'm pretty sure that's just something people say."

Eddie still can't place the emotion on Buck's face though, so he asks, a little tentative, "you okay, bud?"

The weird expression disappears as Buck finally looks at him properly, then down at Joy, tickling her again just to hear her giggle.

"Yeah, no, I just- that was so wild," he says. "I haven't thought about Abby in ages."

He tosses Joy up and spins her around so that she's riding his shoulders now, towering above the stacks, and they head off down the aisle again, already back to being preoccupied by which cereal to choose this week. Eddie shakes his head, watching them fondly for a moment before retrieving their neglected cart and heading off in the opposite direction.

He wonders what produce is on sale today.

[gavramous]

gaz is out of commission after a rough mission. a broken arm, some bruised ribs, and a minor concussion have left him on bed rest in a hospital close to base. he gets visits daily, from his sister who happens to live nearby, and from price, ghost, and soap, keeping him up to date with the happenings at work.

the recruits are a pain in the arse, as always, soap tells him. price lets him know that there's no update on makarov at the moment, but laswell is chasing a potential lead, so fingers crossed. but ghost, after he's asked how gaz is feeling, usually just sits there, reading a book. not that gaz is complaining, because, if he asks, ghost will tell him what's happening in the story.

he apprciates it all, their comraderie, their care for him. they don't have to visit him so much, with their busy schedules, but they do, and he treasures their relationships.

it's ghosts 'turn' to sit with him for the day. they don't actually hold any sort of consistent order for when they visit him, but price said that one time, and it's stuck. ghost had walked into gaz's room with two apples and sat down on the chair to gaz's left. he immediately pulled out a mean looking knife - how he was able to get that thing through the hospital to his room, gaz has no idea - and starts slicing the first apple.

"how'r you faring then?"

"horribly, sir," gaz tells him. he's said this every day since he's been admitted. he's not really doing horribly. well, not physically, at least. sure, his ribs still ache, but he's mainly just bored out of his mind.

"mm, you don't look too good."

seems ghost is over his pessimism. "how kind you are to me."

ghost tuts, and holds out a slice of apple for him.

"what's this?"

"an apple, garrick, you're not that far gone, are you?"

"oh, full of jokes today, huh? obviously i'm asking why you're cutting me up an apple like you're my mum."

"ought not to question your mother so much, hm? just take it."

so gaz does. he's never one to turn down fresh fruit. through his chewing, gaz thanks ghost. ghost hums in acknowledgement, and there's silence as gaz eats. once he's done, ghost cuts and hands him another slice.

ghost breaks the silence after a bit. "it's weird, you know that?"

"what is?"

"your addiction to apples."

"i'm not addicted."

"no?" ghost challenges. "you eat at least one every day."

"what are you even paying that much attention for?" gaz questions.

"can learn a whole lot from observation." ghost shrugs as he hands him another slice.

"yeah? from eating habits?" gaz takes the offered slice.

"like you wouldn't believe." ghost is obviously joking. okay, maybe it's not obvious, gaz isn't soap, with his eerie ability to read ghost's jokes and moods like an open book with size 60 font, but he's getting there. and he's pretty sure ghost is joking right now. so he chuckles and says, "you're full of it."

ghost waves his knife in gaz's direction. "watch yourself, sargeant," he says, eyes crinkled slightly, pleased that gaz understood he was joking.

ghost is a little weird like that, gaz thinks. he's subtle and dry with his humour, leaving it up to others to figure out if he's serious or not, and he always seems pleased when people get he's joking. maybe it's his way of being seen. gaz is assuming now, he knows, but he's got nothing else to do, cooped up in this room. he enjoys trying to decipher the way his friends work every now and then. he feels he understands them better this way.

"why'r you fueling my addiction then?" gaz jokes back, "you obviously disapprove of my habits."

ghost doesn't answer. instead, after a minute or so, he asks, "you want another slice?"

"yes please."

he's hit with a wave of appreciation for ghost in that moment. he's found somewhat of a family in this team, and he'll value it for as long as they're able to work together.