#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed

[teaboot]

Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.

This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.

You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.

For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.

White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.

Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.

Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.

The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.

There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.

The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"

You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.

Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.

Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.

Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.

If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.

If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.

When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".

[luvyuki0]

Amber ── .✦01.

✦ Summary: In which Esme and Hoseok fall in love but of course with love comes trouble especially when you're dating an idol.

Series masterlist| previous| next

"JUST SHUT UP! PLEASE!" Her cries echoed throughout the house, covering her ears as she laid on the floor. She couldn't deal with it anymore, the constant gaslighting and the mental abuse was getting to the point where it was too much. "I should've listened when they warned me, but nah I ignored them 'cause my dumbass didn't know any better, cutting the people I loved off FOR YOU! just so that you could be happy, for us to be happy!" She screamed while crying. He stood there confused as if he didn't know why she was crying, as if he wasn't the reason her mental health depleted and still is. when she finally looked up at him all that could be seen in her face was disgust. Disgust with they were he was looking and acting towards her over the years. "You know what I'm done with this bullshit." She got up wiping her tears, leaving the male's apartment ignoring all sounds and stares she received. All she could think about was why she never realized sooner......



. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Esme's POV:

        "Should I be doing this right now?" Biting my fingers anxiously as my decorated camera sat on my bed. I knew I would have to come back to making YouTube videos eventually,as it was all I knew and I would be nothing without it and my subscribers. I just never expected it to feel so foreign to me. Honestly I don't even know if I'm ready to get back but I know many of my fans miss me, and of course theres some who thought I'd be gone for good, and honestly I don't blame them for that knowing I did take a 6-month break with no heads up, not only on YouTube but on all my social media platforms, kinda like I just disappeared but if not now then  when?

I sigh grabbing my camera and turning it to start recording. "Hey guys! I know it's been a while and y'all are probably wondering where I've been, what I've been doing and more some of y'all were right and I did break up with Rome but I'm not gonna go into full details about it, cause I'm not ready yet when I am though you guys will know the full story and understand why I took a break but lemme not ruin the mood it's a time of comebacks and celebration! now I am going to get back on my routine, posting weekly and spamming my socials!" As I speak, I can just feel some of the weight I've been holding on being lifted off my chest.

I clasp my hands together before I continue talking. "To be honest with y'all I wasn't even going to start recording again this soon, but Jazmine and her Lil boo invited me and one of his friends to a trip to Hawaii!!! Like y'all don't understand how hyped I am right now! Like I may regret this later but who am I to say no to a trip to Hawaii." I shrug my shoulders jokingly.

"I didn't plan much for this video honestly, but I did want this video and the Hawaii flight video to be separate, and since I and Jaz are going tomorrow imma drop COCO off at my mom's, and hopefully jaz is gonna be home by the time I get back so we can pack together and hopefully make some cute matching fits." I explain to my viewers what I have planned for the day though it wasn't much. (A/N: coco is the name of her Pomeranian I didn't put her in the characters cus she wouldn't be mentioned much💀)

"Come here coco! Y'all why he tryna act like he dont know mee! get a hold of Coco who was trying to run away, I grab my keys, slip on my slides, and lock my door, leaving my apartment complex as I make my way to my car.

I prop my camera on my dashboard, so it won't fall, and put on Apple Music to play "Normal Girl". "As always y'all we're gonna stop by Starbucks so I can try a drink I saw going viral on TikTok then I'll head over to my mom's house to drop coco off." I look back at coco than at my camera as I speaking

"So, this is the drink I got and y'all already know I had to get my grilled cheese! Tew good." I showcase my order to my camera as I get the drink and my grilled cheese sandwich. I eat and drink my order as I make my way over to my mom's house.

I get there and ring the doorbell repeatedly to which she opens the door. "Esme gimme the damn dog so I can go back to sleep too damn early for this shit" she speaks groggily with an attitude.

"It's actually one though...and I don't even get a hello wooow" I joke with her knowing we were on the phone last night.

"Esme quit playin' with me and give me the damn dog."

"Damn here, Bye coco bye mama." I hand her coco and walk back to my car hearing her hum bye back.

"Ok so now that I dropped Coco off imma just head back home and hopefully Jaz is back so we can pack together." I talk to my camera as I start driving back home. . . . . .

I finally get back, unlocking my door to see Jaz in the kitchen getting a snack. "Oh, hey Esme" she turns and greets me.

"Hey sweetheart, did u have fun with your Lil boo," I ask with a smirk.

"Girl yes I have to fill you in on literally everything so fir-".

I cut her off before she started ranting on about what she and Yoongi did. "Before you even start let's pack while you tell me what y'all did because I know you ain't start yet and I know you gon be talking for a good minute. "

"You right" she laughs knowing what I said was true.

We both go into my room and start packing for the trip tomorrow.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N: I edited this chapter WAYY more than the second time and I'm actually happy with the beginning chapter and I made this chapter before the whole Starbucks boycott  so that's why they were mentioned I DO NOT SUPPORT them at all not even to the slightest degree

Please like and comment 🙏🏾

— 1089 words —

[roadkillremi]

Older randy is killing me right now, can you do something where reader and randy are at a gathering (with like Chad and mindy) and reader teases and touches him all night?

I completely understand

I am a whore for Dilf Randy!

Impatient

Uncle! Randy X F! Reader

(^the line in the gif above has nothing to do with the plot of the fic)

MasterList

Summary : The ask above. Randy is 39 and Chad and Mindy are 15.

Warnings : Language, Minors DNI, Smut, masturbating, Car sex, p in V, degrading, cream pie.

You were quite a touchy person, you always had your hand on him. You were also used to being alone with him at home. So it got exhausting when you couldn't have him to yourself for about a week.

Randy and you went to Woodsboro for Thanksgiving. You'd all watch movies and play board games together. Go out to town and shopping together. Which you loved spending time with your family. You just wanted to have Randy to yourself.

Randy was in the kitchen trying to make himself a grilled cheese. You tiptoed in and hugged him from behind. You sighed relief into his back, you leaned into him.

"Tired?" He gently asked. You shook your head no, "I just miss... us time.". Randy glanced over with a slight smirk, "Uh-huh. Well we're going home in two days.". You lightly stomped your foot in protest. Randy turned himself towards you and raised an eyebrow. You looked up at him, "Maybe we can get a hotel room...".

"You are just like a child." He chuckled. He went back to his sandwich, you crossed your arms. You stood beside him leaning over to see his face.

"You're telling me you haven't wanted alone time at all?" You whispered. He smiled, "Of course I do...". You grab the belt of his pants pulling him closer, "Then one night... one hour..". He sighed, "I'll think about it...".

You smiled kissing him, he leaned towards you before going back to his cooking. You smiled playfully smacking his ass before walking away.

You sat on the couch waiting for Randy to bring you food. You watched The Attack Of Mars as you waited. Mindy watched the film making snarky remarks. Randy soon walked out balancing three plates in his hands. He placed them on the coffee table before plopping on the couch beside you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders leaning into your side. You cuddled into his side taking a bite of your sandwich.

Mindy got up, "Imma go to the bathroom.".

"Alright." Randy bit into his sandwich. You immediately put your plate down and pulled him into a kiss. The crumbs on his lips crashed into yours.

"Really?" He smirked. You smiled, "I just wanted to kiss you.". Randy leaned back into his seat, "Just a kiss?". You slid your hand on his thigh, his part slightly.

"Please, Randy..." you mumbled. He took a Shakey breath watching your hand slide up. He gave you a small smile, "maybe.". You whined softly grabbing his hand leading to your inner thigh.

Slam

You pushed Randy's hand away as Mindy walked out. You resumed the movie leaning into Randy. He had a goofy smile as he looked down at you. You glared up at him, "Is everything okay?" Mindy interrupted.

"Yeah your aunt's just grumpy." Randy smiled at Mindy. You glanced over, "I'm just tired.". She nodded going back to the movie.

Moments later Martha came in with Chad.

"We're back from grocery shopping!" She announced. You got up to help her with the bags. She handed you some, "I'm going to make lamb for dinner. It'll take about two hours though." Martha explained.

"That's fine. I just made grilled cheese so." Randy leaned against the wall into the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go take a nap." You glanced at Randy.

"Alright." Martha smiled at you. You walked to the room climbing into bed. You laid down hugging the pillow.

Maybe Randy would come in. You bit your lip at the thought of him. Your hand traveled into your pants. You sighed trying to imagine it being his hand.

His hand gently separates the lips while dragging his finger through. His fingers pinching your clit then rubbing it. His wide fingers curving on your pulsing walls. You wanted to squeeze around his fingers keeping them there. You moaned softly clenching, you moved your hips slightly.

"Oh my god.." Randy muttered. You quickly sat up, "I..".

"You were touching yourself." He started down at you. You studied his body, "Yeah..".

"To think I was gonna fuck your brains out." He smirked.

"What?" You scooted off the bed. He waved his hand, "You got your fun apparently.".

"No. Wait." You grabbed his wrist. He looked down at you, "You should have just been patient.". You pouted a bit, "Don't leave.".

"I wasn't planning on it.." he sat on the bed. You sat by him eagerly, "I'm not fucking you." He laughed.

"Why not?" You gently cupped his bulge. He gasped, "Don't act like you haven't been getting hard for me.". He breathed heavily, "You're such a tease. That's why I'm not fucking you.". You sighed and laid down, "But I want you.".

"If only you waited for me.".

"Just finger me! Or I'll blow you... or I can ride your thigh" you begged. He chuckled, "As tempting as that is. Nope.".

"You're an ass." You mumbled.

"I know." He smirked. He got up and went to the door, "Oh and wash your hands before you come out here." He joked. You rolled your eyes and sat up.

During dinner Randy didn't say much. Which was surprising, he ate his food not even looking at you. You gently placed your hand on his thigh. He gave you a soft smile as a response. Once dinner was over Randy grabbed the car keys.

"We'll be right back." He grabbed your hand leading you outside to the car. You seemed confused as you followed him.

"What are you doing?" You questioned. He unlocked the car and opened the door to the back seat. You looked at him, "Get in.." he smirked. You nodded scooting in, he got in behind you closing the door and locking it. He pinned you down to the car seats.

"I couldn't take it anymore..." he groaned. He quickly unbuckled his jeans, your eyes widen reaching down to your pants to shove them off. He opened your legs pushing them down.

"Fucking touching yourself like that." He mumbled. He entered and quickly slammed into you. You gasped throwing your head back.

"You're so.. needy.." he groaned. You nodded moaning softly as he continued. He leaned down close to you, "So fucking hot... I couldn't keep saying no to you.". You bit your lip looking up at him.

"is that it? Just needed my cock to shut you up?" He teased. You nodded clenching your walls around him. His lips twitched upwards as he continued. One of his hands lifted your shirt up exposing your chest.

"And not wearing a bra to dinner? Such a whore.." he smiled. You whimpered in response, he grabbed your waist helping you sit up. You lazily leaned against his body, "Is this what you wanted?".

"Yes.." you groaned. He grabbed the side of your neck to force you to look up at him. You fluttered your eyes open lazily moaned. He grinned continuing to abuse your core.

"Thank you..." you muttered. He smiled, "Shh. Don't thank me.". You whined leaning against him, his fingers dug into your hips. He grunted, "Imma fill you up.". You whimpered, "mhm..".

"You want that?" He smirked looking down at you. You nodded nuzzling your face against his neck. He lifted your hips up and shoved them down. You yelped in pleasure as he pulled you down. You lazily moved your hips in circles along with him. He groaned softly, "I'm... I'm so close.".

You looked up at him with a lopsided grin. He breathed roughly as he lifted you up and down. Once he came he squeezed your hips with a soft grunt. You leaned against his chest whimpering.

"We should go inside before they come looking for us." He whispered. You shook your head, "I don't want to go. I just want to stay with you..".

"I know..." he laid you down and pulled out. He lifted your legs up to see his release in your folds. He smiled pushing it in with his fingers. You whimpered trying to close your legs around him. He forced your legs back open,he slowly took his fingers out. He shoved them in your mouth for you to taste. You sucked off his fingers tasting his come.

"Ata Girl.. " he smiled. He pulled his pants up and helped you sit up. He slid your pants back on you and fixed your hair.

"Mm, look at you. About to walk in full of my come." He smiled.

[axwalker]

Now and then 3: Crush

I’m participating in the Wacky Drabbles prompts. (Sorry for the delay! 😬 )

This week is prompt  #42: Let’s be honest with ourselves, we knew this was going to happen.  It will appear in bold in the text. 

I also used the prompt sent by @burnsoslow​ : High school AU - Drake x Lexie - childhood friends - 16. “my hands are really dry. sorry about that.”

Synopsis:   The story of Alexis’s and Drake’s friendship since they met when they were 10 years old until they become roommates after college. (AU)

MASTERLIST

Warning: No one under 18 should read my stories.  Mention of alcohol.

Pairing: Drake x ?, Alexis x ?

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry

Permatag list (Drake x Mc): @mskaneko​ @pedudley​ @burnsoslow​ @ac27dj​

@twinkle-320​ @kimmiedoo5​ @marshmallowsandfire​ @loveellamae​ @lauzales​ @pug-bitch​ @debramcg1106​ @ravenpuff02​ 

Wacky Drabbles: @dcbbw​ @texaskitten30​ @bebepac​ @pedudley​ @bbrandy2002​ @katedrakeohd​ @sirbeepsalot​ @bobasheebaby​ @flutistbyday2020​ @soheila-1996​ @kingliam-rys​

2010

Fifteen years-old

Lexie took her tray and looked for her friends at the cafeteria. She spotted Drake and Liam at the end of the hall; they were eating their usual meal consisting in an extra-large hamburger with fries, an apple, a bag of Doritos and a chocolate pudding, each.

She sat next to Drake. “I don’t know how you guys do it. I love eating but that’s just disgusting.”

Liam and Drake shrugged and kept eating. After cleaning his plate, Liam leaned on his chair and asked casually, “are you coming to the Beaumonts tonight, Lexie?”

“To Max’s party? Of course,” she answered, before taking a bite of her grilled cheese sandwich.

Liam elbowed Drake, who coughed before speaking. “And that new girl, Olivia? Is she coming?”

Lexie smiled, looking at Liam. “You’re so damn obvious is actually sad, Li.” She giggled when she saw Liam turning crimson red. “Yes, she’s coming too, and I’ll be sure to slip one or two things about how amazing you are,” she added, winking.

Liam stretched his arms behind his head then clasped his hands behind his neck “Well, you don’t have to lie a lot.”

“I won’t be adding modest to the list, that’s for sure.” Lexie laughed, as she took a Dorito from Drake’s bag. She actually thought Liam would be good for Liv, he was kind and sweet and Olivia definitely needed someone like that in her life. “You’ll come too, right, Drake?”

Drake got distracted when he saw Katie coming into the cafeteria.

“Draake!” She turned her head and saw Katie sitting down and smiling at Drake. She sighed, annoyed. “Earth to Walker!”

“Yeah. I will,” he answered, distractedly.

“Cool, my mom will let me stay longer if you come. She’s such a hypocrite. She can’t shut up about feminism, but I still need a boy to go to a party.”

“Please, Lex. I beg you, spare us the feminist speech, we know it by heart,” Drake said, still exchanging looks with Katie.

Lexie stood up, exasperated. “Whatever. See you at 9:00.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

Drake was laying down in Lexie’s bed watching a football match as she tried different outfits.

“It’s already 10:00 p.m., Lex. You promised,” Drake said in a tired voice.

She poked her head out of her closet door. “I’m sorry! I’ll be ready in a sec.” Finally, she stood up in front of Drake with a black tank top, ripped jeans and her red Converse.

“Well?” Lexie asked.

“It looks comfortable,” Drake said, shrugging.

“That’s it?” Lexie asked, disappointed. She knew she was too skinny; all the other girls of her class were full of curves and she was still so fricking flat.

“Uhm, yeah? Being comfortable is important, right?” Drake didn’t understand why his best friend looked so pissed.

“Yeah, it’s what I need anyway.” Lex turned to look at Drake who was watching the match again. “I’m getting wasted tonight.”

Drake muted the TV and turned his head to her. “What do you mean?”

“I’m fifteen and I’ve never been drunk; I need to live, Drake!”

“You’re so dramatic. And, you can’t get drunk. Elena will kill me if I bring you back wasted.”

“First of all, I can come back by myself and second of all, she’ll never know.”

Drake shook his head. “Have you meet your mom? She knows everything.”

“God! You idolize her. She doesn’t know everything. Come one, Liv must be already waiting for us,” Lexie said looking at her watch.

Lexie, Drake and Liam joined Olivia who was waiting for them in front of the Beaumont’s house.

Olivia was wearing sneakers and a short green dress that highlighted her red hair. She looked angry.

“Finally, Alexis. I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes. I was about to leave”

“Lexie is always late. Next time try to arrive ten minutes after the time she told you, Liv,” Liam teased her.

Liv arched an eyebrow. “I don’t remember telling you to call me Liv. My name is Olivia, golden boy. If you don’t mind, I was talking to Alexis.”

Drake and Lexie exchanged a half-worried, half-amused look. Liam was the most popular guy at school, so, he wasn’t used to girls talking to him like that. He clearly didn’t mind because he was still smiling at the red head.

Max led them to his basement where his parents had practically installed a bar. They had music, drinks, a pool table and a foosball.

CeeLo Green’s ‘Fuck You’ was playing in Max’s Bose speakers. Alexis joined Max on the dancefloor. Drake watched them dance for a few seconds. He smiled at Lex; she was a great dancer. Suddenly, Drake saw Katie and Maddie Amaranth arriving to the party. He dried his sweaty palms on his jeans and went looking for something to drink. Liam and Olivia were still bickering, but they were dancing with each other. And Olivia seemed to be having fun.

Katie saw Drake going to the table with the drinks and followed him. “Hi, Drake.” She smiled coquettishly.

Drake blushed but smiled back. “Hi!” For a few painful seconds, he didn’t know what to add, so he said the first thing that popped into his head. “It’s a cool basement, right?” – It’s a cool basement??- He wanted to slap himself. What a fucking stupid thing to say.

Katie giggled. “You’re so funny. And you’re right, it is cool.”

Drake didn’t understand what was so funny about his comment, but he wasn’t going to question his luck.

One hour later, Lexie was dancing with Max when she saw Drake making out with Katie. “That was fast,” she said to Max nodding at the couch where they were, an unpleasant feeling in the pitch of her stomach.

“It was only a matter of time.” They witnessed Drake kiss Katie passionately. “Wow! They’re really into each other’s tonsils.” Max laughed.

Lexie grimaced. “Ugh! That’s disgusting, they should get a freaking room. Come on, Max, I want another beer.”

Around midnight, Drake looked for Alexis, she was nowhere to be seen and it was already past her curfew. Bastien wasn’t very strict, so he didn’t have one, but Elena was going to kill them both.

Finally, he saw her playing foosball with Max and Rashad.

“Drake!” She shrieked when she saw him. “I’m winning!”

Drake chuckled. “I see that you fulfilled your mission of getting drunk.��

“I’m not drunk I’m the soberestest person in this room! Howdareyou?” She sloshed beer all over them.

Drake took a paper towel and cleaned his shirt. “You’ll regret it tomorrow. You remember that day after Leo’s birthday when I spend the morning throwing up, right?”

She waved her fingers no. “But, see that direfent, I mean, different. ‘Cause you were like super drunk, and Imma like not.”

Drake laughed. “Yeah, my bad. You’re clearly the poster girl for abstinence. I think we should go, anyway, Lex. Elena will kill us.”

“You’re such a party pooper. What happened, Katie ditched you?”

Katie was behind Drake. She smiled affectedly, and answered, “no, I didn’t. Come on, Drake. Some of us are going to Maddie’s house. She has a pool.” Katie took his hand, but Drake didn’t move.

“Lex is completely wasted. I can’t leave her like this,” Drake said as he watched Lexie try to play foosball with a drunk Maxwell.

“She’s a big girl, Drake. She can take care of herself.” Katie placed her hand in his shoulder. “If you come, I promise, we’ll have fun,” Katie urged him.

-I’m going to fucking kill Lex tomorrow-. “I’m sorry, Katie, you have no idea how much. But I can’t leave Lex like this. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked.

Katie was a popular, pretty girl, there was no way she was going to lose Drake for Lexie O’Brien, that’d be humiliating. “No, it’s tonight or never, Drake. You have to choose, now.”

Drake shook his head, he wasn’t going to leave his best friend like that, so he answered, “Then is never. I’m sorry, Katie.”

She shoved him on her wait out and went to join Madeleine.

Lexie sat. “Drake everything is spinning. And the music is so loud,” she complained, holding her head between her hands.

He kneeled down. “I told you not to drink this much. I mean, let’s be honest with ourselves, we knew this was going to happen. You’re not used to alcohol.”

“I’m fine” She stood up and walked to the door but tripped with the stairs. Drake tried to catch her, but it was too late. She fell down.

“I twisted my ankle. Hell! It hurts,” she complained as she rubbed it.

Drake sighed deeply and turned to Max. “Can I take her to your dad’s study? Only while she sobers up.”

Maxwell nodded. “Go on, Drake. My parents are sleeping anyway. You can make some coffee in the kitchen.”

“Come on, Lex,” Drake told her. She put her arms around his shoulders and limped to the studio.

Drake helped Alexis sit. She took off her left Converse. “My ankle hurts, Drake. And this room spins too.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I know, Lex. Everything will be spinning for a while. Let’s see if it’s not broken.” He rubbed her ankle checking for any fracture like coach Evans had taught him. “My hands are really dry. Sorry about that.”

Suddenly, Lexie was very aware that Drake was rubbing her leg. They played a lot of sports together, this wasn’t the first time he touched her, and yet this time it felt… different.

Drake shook his head. “Do you have pain in the bone or here?” He asked as he pressed in the soft part of the muscle.

“Ouch! You’re such a savage! Yes, the second time.”

“Me a savage? You could be more grateful, you know?” He asked, angrily.

“Why? Because you couldn’t leave for Maddie’s pool with Katie? She has slept with half the school, Leo Rys included. She must have like a hundred STDs. I probably saved your life”

Drake chortled. “Oh, I see; I should be thanking you.”

Lexie stayed silence for a few seconds. Then, emboldened by the alcohol she asked, “Is she a good kisser?”

Drake blushed but nodded. “Very good.”

She rubbed her head, it hurt. “I never kissed anyone like that.”

“The right guy is waiting for you, Lex. You’re too special to make out with just anyone,” Drake empathized.

She rubbed her eyes. “You say that because you’re my best friend, but we both know that if I was really too special, I would be dating someone,” she said with a small voice.

Drake looked at her with his big brown eyes. Lexie had never noticed how handsome Drake was. It was no wonder that half the girls at school wanted to date him.

Drake sat next to her. “You’re the coolest person I know. You’re smart and funny. I mean you’re also a gigantic pain in the ass.” He laughed when she playfully punched him in the arm. “but you’re amazing, Lex. You just need to be patient.” He put an arm around her, amicably. Lexie felt her heart race, as she never had before. His arm around her shoulders made her feel aflutter, and she noticed for the first time how good he smelled. She blushed.

Drake’s voice startled her. “I’ll go get you some coffee, so you can sober up.” He tousled her hair, and added smirking, “I knew you would be a sappy drunk, O’Brien.”

Lexie didn’t reply. For a few minutes, she stayed on the couch, shocked. She had a big problem, a huge crush on her best friend.

.

[babybluepeaches]

Permission pt. 2 {a killmonger fic}

pt. 1   /   pt. 3

AN: Since your first wild adrenaline-filled meeting, you and Erik have been inseparable during your nightly dope deals. But tonight, you might discover a  secret side of himself he’s been hiding when your life is threatened in a deal gone awry. Stay tuned for the sex in part 3 ❤︎

....

1:27am

1 new message

Sender: Y/N

Message: “Bout to be outside.”

Erik picks up his phone and shoots back a text. Getting out of bed, as per his new nightly routine, he changes out of his pajamas into his outside clothes. After a bit of deliberation he settles on a black T-shirt and camo pants.

He had been seeing Y/N for a month now, just going with her on her nightly drop offs. He wasn’t one to keep up attached relationships, but there was something about Y/N that made him almost forget about everything. Besides the sex and free “gas”, he liked that she didn’t ask him any heavy questions, being a dealer she wasn’t too into trading personal information. When they hooked up they just drove, talked, and smoked. It seemed effortless.

Erik had to admit to himself, he liked her energy. She was cool, confident, and she didn’t have any expectations of him. This worked perfectly for Erik, who wanted nothing more but to escape the tidal wave of feelings he had been keeping at bay about his so-called family and his legacy.

Grabbing his essentials, he heads out his apartment and walks towards a black car.

….

1:36am

1 new message

Sender: Erik

Message: “Bet”

You glance at your phone before putting your car into park in front of Erik’s place.

You didn’t want to admit how much Erik Stevens had influenced you over the past couple of weeks, but it was unmistakable. The long car rides, the impromptu hook ups, you had even slept over his place a couple of times. Not to mention he influenced you into getting that single gold cap grill you always wanted. It shined in your mouth’s top row of teeth, a little dollar sign flashing when you smiled.

Hell, it helped to have his intimidating body in your passenger seat too. Your thirsty customers used to ask to sit in the back of your car. “Just to sample what you got,” they would say. Now when they lean in to check you out, they see Erik too. You’ve lost count of the times you’ve had to stop yourself from laughing at their disappointment. Sometimes Erik grabs your thigh when you’re bagging for them, or talks to you casually. With all the creepy niggas at bay, you actually started to enjoy the night. So it’s safe to say Erik became your part-time partner in crime.

….

While you were adding songs to your tidal queue, Erik opens your door and climbs in the car.

“‘Sup E,” you say, now shifting your attention to program your first address into the GPS. Before you had even glanced over, Erik’s smell and presence wafts into the car. He always smelled like sandalwood and honey. It was a small comfort, not that you would admit it.

“Wassup sis,” he said with a smile, making fun of what your underlings call you.

“You are not allowed to call me that,” you say, returning his grin and pulling off the lot.

“Damn, okay Y/N,” he says, followed by, “Where we going?”

“Melrose, Highland, some random ass place out East.”

“Dope,” Erik says, picking up your phone to add his preferred songs to your tidal queue.

You’re cruising, rapping along to X by 21 Savage. You loved to drive and Erik didn’t mind when you zoned out. Your vibe was interrupted when Erik abruptly says, “Oh my god pull in here.”

“Pull in where?” you yell over the music.

“Girl.The In-N-Out. What you think?”

You laugh and hang a left to the In-N-Out drive thru. This boy was something else.

When you drive up to order, Erik climbs in the back seat and you pull up so he can reach the mic. Erik’s upper body hangs out the window and he strokes his beard.

Licking his lips he says, “Yeah hey Cindy. Imma get a double double with 4 slices of cheese. A chocolate shake, a root beer, and a coke. Thanks.”

You hear Cindy make a remark about his 3 drinks and Erik laughs in response.

“Nah the root beer’s for my girl,” he says smiling. As he thanks Cindy and gets back in the passenger seat, you try to wipe the smile off your own face.

When Erik dips his body back in the car, you drive around to pick up the food. You pull up, Erik pays, and the In-N-Out worker hands you a small bag with 3 drinks.

Sticking your straw in your mouth you pull out of the parking lot. After a moment you propose casually, “So I’m your girl now?“

“You tryna be my girl now?” Erik returns, mimicking your casual tone.

“Only if it comes with refills,” you say, shaking your drink. Erik laughs and writes you off.

You drive around the city making your runs while Erik destroys his In-N-Out. Striking off name after name on your list, you land on the last one. Small amount of tree, they request to meet up on the East side. An easy quick one to end the night.

….

You pull up to the street you’re supposed to meet the mystery client and park, semi incognito of course. This place was no where you’ve been before.

In fact, no one was around. No old woman hobbling home from church, no old men sitting on any porches. You lean onto your stirring wheel and hold it to your chest while you peer out the windshield.

“This… Is hella sus,” you say to Erik, who’s been absorbed in a text message.

“Huh?” Erik turns off his phone screen, “You ain’t been here?”

“Nah,” after another second of scoping the neighborhood, you start digging in your backseat.

When you sit up you toss Erik one of your emergency guns.

“Stay alert,” you say, reaching for your own gun. Before you can touch it, Erik’s head snaps up and peers out your window. He squints.

“Yo is that… Lil Pump?”

Your windows are tinted but you cant mistake that gangly white frame coming towards your car.

The figure approaching your car wore a black hoodie, black baggie pants and a black shirt. All of which would be very discreet, if he wasnt also sporting greasy multicolored dreadlocks and a lollipop face tatt.

“Fuck, it’s Rare,” you groan. What was his raggedy ass doing here?

Rare showed up on the scene a few months ago as a new dealer a couple hoods over. You had always laughed at him, you couldn’t help but find his white boy thug front amusing. Once, he actually approached you and tried to get you to work some “big deals” with him. You blew his offer off with a laugh, and ever since he’s always had something cocky to say to you.

“Who?” Erik says.

“He’s a dealer. Not too fond of me,” you roll your eyes at the thought.

Rare approaches the car with a smile, signaling for you to roll your window down. You shake your head no, but he pulls up his hoodie to reveal an AR-15 rifle strapped to his torso, something strong enough to blast through the windows if you wouldn’t comply.

“Talk about overcompensation,” you mutter as you roll down the window.

“What is this? A deal?” you spit at him.

He smiles and when he gets close enough he pulls a second gun and pressing it to your temple. He coos, “Mmm, how about a set up?” smiling to reveal a whole mouth full of rainbow grillz.

You feel Erik’s body stiffen and his energy set on fire, you shoot him a quick look you hope communicates ’don’t do anything stupid.’

“I see you brought some muscle,” he says eyeing Erik, “So did I.”

Rare gestures to his cronies, which have now fanned out around the car. They’re all armed, all have ski masks covering their faces.

“Let’s go inside and make some arrangements shall we?” Rare says, as he reaches inside your car to open your door. He pulls you out and zip ties your arms around your back. Erik is getting the same treatment by the masked goons.

For a minute you’re both facing each other, and you cant help but notice Erik’s demeanor has changed completely. While he lets himself be restrained he’s as attentive as a soldier, nothing but his scowl and his lazor focus on you denotes any emotion. You see a inferno in his eyes though, even with his calm expression Erik seems dangerous.

Before you can give Erik any nonverbal reassurance, Rare is pulling you up the steps of the house by your locked arms. When filed inside one of Rare’s men pipes up.

“Uh, what should we do with him?” referring to Erik, who seems even more pissed at the sight of you being manhandled.

“Sit him down, see if he knows anything useful,” you and Rare watch Erik be tied to a chair, “if he causes any trouble, kill him,” Rare smirks and pulls you toward one of the back rooms.

Kill?

You look at Erik one last time before the door shuts. Safe to say, your world starts shaking internally.

Shit I shouldnt have dragged him into this. He has my gun though he has my gun it’s fine we’re gonna get out of this, we’re-

Your thoughts are interrupted by Rare slamming you down in your own chair.

“Oh J,” he says, shooting you your fake name while he sits across from you. “You know why they call me Rare, right?” he grins, showing off his grimey technicolored smile.

“Nah, actually I don’t,” you say. Omitting the ‘I heard that’s what they call your dick game, medium rare’ you’d love to drop on him.

“Its because ain’t nobody can do it like me,” he says, placing his elbows on his legs to lean close to you.

“So why did you lure me here?” you tilt your head and squint at him, “If you’re so rare you wouldn’t need me.”

“I don’t need you, sweetheart. I need to know where you keep your money,” he smiles and lifts your chin with his gun.

“Seriously?” you laugh, “You out already?”

“I want to make a few investments, and I got to thinking that Imma need more.”

Before you could respond, three rapid gunshots are heard from the front of the house.

“Shit.” Erik.

All rationality goes out the window, you needed to know Erik was okay. Now.

Pushing yourself away from Rare with your feet, you headbutt his gun to the ground and run out of the room with your hands still zipped behind you.

“Eri-” you begin, but stop in your tracks to see what was unfolding in front of you.

Erik hand gotten his hands free and was round house kicking a gun out of one of the guards hands. He grabs the man and uses him as a human shield to block gunshots coming from another direction.

You notice Erik appeared roughed up, his shirt had ripped at the front. His eyes were wild and his movements were unbelievably quick. You watch in awe as he threw the man he was using as the shield at the one shooting at him. While they stumbled Erik knocks their feet from under them and they tumble to the ground.

When Erik turns to face you, you feel Rare roughly yank you back by your restraints and press his gun to your head.

“It’s up to you,” he says to Erik, “Tell me all about her little operation and maybe,” he pauses with a grin, “I won’t blow her brains out.”

You could practically hear your heartbeat blasting in your eardrums.

Ba-dump

Erik’s eyes fly between you and Rare.

Ba-dump

In one swift motion, Erik grabs Rare’s hand holding the gun and pulls it away from your head, getting behind him. You move out of Rare’s arms, right in time for him to shoot wildly in Erik’s grip.

Erik releases him and raises his leg to kick him hard in the back. Rare flies into some dusty coffee tables and you’re sure he’s going to have some broken bones to attend to.

Bodies of the masked members of Rare’s crew littered the floor, and Erik was standing over them huffing. Nostrils flared and torn shirt, he was looking more wild than you’ve ever seen him.

Erik turns away from the bodies and immediately goes behind you to begin untying your arms.

Before you can thank him, you both hear police sirens in the distance and his actions freeze momentarily. Someone must have heard the gun shots and called 911.

[just-folie-a-deux-it]

awkward "admitting their kinks to each other" ryden headcanons

god bless you anon 

Okay so they’ve been dating for a hot second and they’ve even had sex once or twice but they don’t really know that much about each other when it comes to what the other likes

It’s after sex one night when they’re laying in bed and Ryan’s already half asleep with one arm around Brendon that the singer is like “this is fun for you, right?” and Ryan is like ‘what? what sex? yes duh ofc” and Brendon’s sort of insecure and asks what Ryan’s really into like how could he make it better and Ryan’s just like “you’re asking about my kinks?”and Brendon blushes so bright but he’s determined so he nods

And Ryan’s not exactly adverse to sharing his kinks but like, they just fucked and he’s tired and kind of confused and he’s like ‘why??’ and Brendon goes into some rant about how if they’re gonna make it as a couple they have to be able to please each other and he wants to know how to please Ryan and make him happy and shit and Ryan’s like “you do please me I love you it’s okay it’s good it’s alright” but Brendon is Determined™ so he’s like “tell me”

So Ryan’s like ‘r u fckin srs’ but he sees that Brendon is so he just lays back and starts listing off kinks he can think of and is like “wait, wait, you have to tell me to.” so then one says a kink and then the other does and they say like, two before Ryan’s like “okay Imma need a drink for this” and then they get drunk and stoned before they keep going

First it’s real serious and like, Ryan’s getting kind of turned on thinking about it and he can see Brendon is too and Ryan’s imagining all of the things he can’t wait to do to Brendon now, but eventually they run out of kinks they’re into and just start making shit up cuz they’re drunk and it’s funny and they’re saying shit like “oh yeah grilled cheeses really turn me on” and “I cum literally on the spot when I think of playing Wheel of Fortune” and they’re laughing so hard that tears are running down both their faces and they can’t breath and their stomachs are cramped

Eventually they fall asleep on top of each other and when they wake up they’re quiet for a minute and Brendon finally goes “So, Wheel of Fortune, huh?” and Ryan just laughs and is like “okay I’ll grab the grilled cheese”

[thommydarguin]

SB The Chocolate Drop

I will never pretend to know or act like I fully understand anxiety/depression however, running from your problems and absolving yourself of any real blame solves nothing Considering all the little beefs we have had, I look back at all of your failed relationships that you’ve told me about and I see them differently. Not to say they didn’t do anything wrong, probably majorly wrong.. but I’ve spent over a year watching you misread situations and coming to completely irrational conclusions, and feeling content that the world is against you. I feel as though you’re looking for so many things to fill in for the various holes in your life. I believe finding peace within yourself and learning to accept, change for the better and grow are essential I find it hard to just expect some person to swing in and cure you of it all. You’re riddled with insecurities and bottled feelings, neither which is inherently bad, but at certain levels, can be poisonous to you and others I recall the first time you really opened up about your D/A(depression and anxiety) and I felt so happy that you felt so comfortable enough to speak on it and I just wanted to be there for and whatever capacity I could handle. I wanted to be your calming Your peace Your happy place Trust Love Zen Your inhale Your exhale But I couldn’t At a time of sickness, you prioritized all but my general heath and saw no wrong in that and couldn’t even apologize or rather didn’t deem it worthy of an apology because to you, I did you wrong by being sick and missing a date. A date you were attending with other people and through it all, I deserved to be cut off. You blamed your D/A... You claimed to have cut everyone off 5 months..... 5 months for you to finally speak to me, and within that attempt I was asleep and upon responding, I was met with hostility and had to play nice and apologetic to get you to a decent demeanor. Which is a typical SB tactic of always bending situations to cater to you... and there are more to come, #staytuned So with communications finally open, I try several times to have a conversation with you to address what actually happened and what transgressed through these 5 months You avoid and evade with excuses rooted in your D/A Your anxiety is so suffocating that I even developed some form of it when interacting with you. Even so... I’m DYING to have you back.. You insist on getting brunch for our long waited conversation Now.... for this conversation to be all about misunderstanding and potential real beef... we shouldn’t be trying to have a fun date surrounded by white people drinking mimosas and bloody Mary’s ... At best, coffee or tea(not for me cuz I’ll throw up, remember this for later) Moving forward, we meet at the restaurant outside waiting to be seated... and you proceed to jump right in to coy small talk and catch up like besties who’ve been away for a bit with NO BEEF.... I’m not here to rock the boat and be unfriendly however I do believe it is imperative to get right to it being firm, direct and truthful. I fucked up and let her get us right back into the swing of things.. We order and get our food by that time I got fed up with her clearly avoiding the elephant in the room so with no Segway... I bring it up... But I’m already happy I get to see her beautiful smile that brightens my day Her piercing eyes that are so intense it damn near forces you into submission of shyness Cheekbones strong as Janet Jackson at her prime Skin just simply radiant (though she doesn’t agree) And of course a body hot enough to grill 4 grilled cheese sandwiches So ultimately... I fold And I don’t bring up my many grievances that I’ve been thinking about for 5 long months... Imma summarize the rest of the day but ugh .... We finished eating and went back to the house. Roommate knew she was coming so he locked his door in advance since she’s a habitual space invader. It’s been sometime since she’s last seen all of us so we’re in a new house so I begin to give her the tour. First floor Basement Back patio At this point I didn’t know if in fact roommate was home so we knock and he says he’s showering, he’ll be out in a little. She then try’s the door knob... It’s locked Then she tries to convince roommate to let her in which he ignores cuz duh... she continues .... I ask her clear and direct.. “please do NOT go in my room, just give me 10 minutes to take care of some things and then I’ll show you” I walk downstairs leaving her at roommates door and before I reach the kitchen, she’s telling me about my en suite.... I’m beyond pissed at how casually she dismissed and disrespected me. But I try to address it without blowing up... she dismisses it again I go downstairs and start playing music She shows up and as soon as I’m playing a song she doesn’t know or like... I hear “I don’t like this song” or “I don’t know this song” Aka turn off what you intentionally played that you clearly like and play what I wanna hear because it’s all about me. She does this very often but never in big groups It’s ALWAYS deplorable I also always let her dj so she can feel comfortable and know that I care that she is at ease. She has NEVER done that for me NEVER AND SHE USUALLY SKIPS MY SONGS MIDSONG... SHES THAT DISRESPECTFUL anyway.. I end up giving her my phone to play music because I’ve learned through her brainwashing, it’s best for all to give her what she wants than face her complaining. I had to teach her song sharing etiquette which she was extremely resistant to learning but after a slew of “pleases and thanks yous” she kinda learned but later still disregarded so roommate eventually took over with his phone cuz she’s inconsiderate. We then picked up an old friend mainly to annoy her but he really helped balance the group because that’s one more person to help her realize how she feels rarely takes into consideration anyone but herself. We then listened to music and drank till it was time to go to a bday celebration. When we got to the house party.. she laid eyes on the most handsome ginger in the city and instantly fell for him. By the time we got to the bars... she was all over him.... and EVERY single guy that made a pass at her... which is not a problem or issue but ginger liked her up until he realized she was giving everybody attention so he lost interest and moved on. Meanwhile I was being attacked by 5 random housewives... We finally leave that bar and see ginger hopping in an uber with 4 women happily. SB... not so happy and somehow confused at why ginger went and found other people who actually showed him interest. We hop to 2 more bars and by then, I’m spent and it stinks at the bar we’re at so I tell the crew individually that I’m out and catching an Uber The moment I smell fresh air I’m like... you know what? It’s a beautiful night tonight.. imma walk. 6 blocks later SB is tracking me down ready to go to We meet and she claims she’s pretty drunk and needs to pee.. I dunno why anyone would leave the establishment with a latrine without using it first then have the audacity to complain about it but whatever... She then flops on some stairs dragging on about her intoxication.... but never pulls out her phone to order her blood clot uber so now I gotta Buy it after already making peace with walking home and being happy I was saving money I didn’t need to spend Side note: I paid for brunch and said she could get me drinks tonight but didn’t end up drinking because niggas like her need to be babysat and it was a whack night and I don’t force fun with drinking...it’s a bad move.. So I order the uber.. we get home and she gets out stumbling.... I start leading her to the house and she starts repeating “I’m gonna throw up” over and over ... I ask her, do u need to go now or can you make it to the bathroom?? “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up”... I said..” I get that so if u need to puke now... cool.. we outside.. I’ll hose it down later.. otherwise if u can make it to the bathroom.. let’s go in” “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up”... That’s when flames came out my ears.... I said f it... and took her in and led her to my bathroom.. and closed the door to give her privacy.. she was in there for a bit so I changed and needed to go make pee so I went to roommates room and when I returned... she’s in my bed My bed rules have changed since she last saw me but because of me being a bitch... I was too scared to bring up my new rules... which is... NO ONE sleeps in my bed unless family or fuckin With the exception of L’s I’m willing to take which this constitutes...kinda... I’ll explain that in a sec So she’s in my bed... cool... then starts up her mantra again “I’m gonna throw up... I’m gonna throw up... I gonna throw up, I need a bucket”... I said “ no, you need to go to the bathroom.. “ but in classic SB fashion.. she dismisses me and keeps on with the bucket talk so like a bitch.. I get it and a bottle of water.. THEN finally relieved of duty I start to leave and she freaks out!! “Thommay.... Thommaaaaay... where are you?” “I’m right here” I said Thommay.... Thommaaaaay... where are you?” “YOU CAN HEAR ME, AND IF YOU OPENED YOUR EYES YOU’D SEE ME, IM RIGHT HERE!!!”I replied “I’m panicking ..... I’m panicking... where are you???” I had to walk my candy ass over to her and hold her hand while standing until she fell asleep.. and EVERYTIME I let go... I’m panicking ..... I’m panicking... where are you???” SO I, A GROWN ASS MAN... had to sleep on the rass clot bumma clot floor in my own home... in my own room.... Now you may be thinking to yourself... are you that obsessed with your rule that you won’t sleep next to her in your own bed? NO... but I ain’t dumb enough to willingly dive into the splash-zone next to ol pukey over here.... So a nigga slept on the floor... Hours later I did get on the bed in a corner but even that was whack so I said f it and went downstairs... Later on in the day I’m still unhappy with her performance from last night, so wherever she went.. I left... so now I’m in my room watching Planet Earth 2(super dope if u ain’t seent it) And she shows up while kickin it with my homie and just hops in bed with me interrupting our conversation.. Then proceeds to invite me to VIRGINIA to go get tea Now I simply didn’t wanna go anywhere that day, but I damn sure didn’t wanna go to another state and even more so wouldn’t wanna go for the one thing that makes me throw up... a known fact by all who consider themselves close to ya boy... So I sassily call her out on not really caring and being inconsiderate and she throws a fit, calls me an asshole and turns away.. Now at this juncture.. anyone being upset at my approach... that is warranted.. but☝️ when I asked if it is true she evades the question like a hotboxed fart in a car that smells like Chinese food. Then leaves to roommates room looking for validation... in which she got NONE!!! Now he told her ass he didn’t want no women in his bed at the start of the day and she tried to get nestled in real quick but roommate peeped game but since he knows how bad she is at not getting what she wants.. he just got up and started doing shit until she was too uncomfortable to stay and came back to my room... Meanwhile... I’m MAAAAAAAAADDDdddd comfortable now watching these goats doing parkour on the side of a mountain and she comes right back in and jumps in bed.... Then starts making whack commentary... to which receives one word(shut the hell up) responses.... Eventually she says too much and I go downstairs... Once I hear it’s over.. I come back to my room and praise Moses!!!! She’s getting herself together... I hop in bed and start the next episode of Planet earth... “I’m gonna go home now” “Okay” I replied Mind you.. that probably the first or one of the first times I didn’t walk her to her car and hug her goodbye Now she’s done other things worthy of being cut the F off But all I did was get sick.... So when I start texting her to actually bring up all the stuff I bitched out of from brunch and the weekend, I’m just tryna schedule a phone call or ft( that’s FaceTime for you poor android users) she once again bullies me into having this conversation through text even though I prepared it to work through speech by bringing up her D/A.... so against my better judgment.. I text her the whole thing and long story short(for this part at least)... She said I demonized her character... She’s literally saying SHE did messed up things to me... which hurt me... and in my attempt to explain to her what she did, what it felt like and how it made me feel... she’s the victim to me slandering her name and no friend would ever do that... Forget everything that she did to me... the problem lies within how I described how she made me feel to her.... I tell you people I can’t make this up She told me to F-off and all... But didn’t delete me from and any social media... wouldn’t even block me on her phone... I’m starting to believe she KNOWS she’s wrong but the breakthrough to follow is too much because she’ll prolly have to face how she’s likely done this to so many other people... ones she has actually demonized and pushed away while claiming they did yadada yadada yadada.... What I hate about this is that i still wanna be there for her If the day comes when she decides to recognize what she did and what she’s doing, I don’t want her to have to face that alone unless that’s what she wants. I love this woman And I wanna see her do great things but she has some walls up that are really hurting herself and others Anyway Rant over

[mindmadeline]

2/9-2/11

nick and i had such an amazing weekend! i want to write about it to sear it in my memory : ) and to reflect on the beauty of it. 

on friday, i had a busy day! i worked all day, lauren and i chatted for a lot of it - it’s so nice to have a friend at work to talk with about anything/everything! then i went to the eStudio and made a small flower patch, chatted with the politics of weeds folks, met diane at the nash gallery and went through it looking at art and talking about the exhibition that we are part of. it was cool to get a thorough idea of how everything is going to be set up. then i walked over to hannah’s apartment and we daydreamed about art we could submit to eaux claires, i think we’re going to do it... and then sophie came over and we chatted more about life and it was really lovely to spend time with them. we finalized the songs we’re going to cover! exciting!!! then i went to erica beebe’s apartment in uptown for the first kinetic magazine meeting! we drank wine and got to know each other and brainstormed a ton of ideas for topics. it’s going to be very cool. after that, i went over to nick’s house and we started snuggling right away : ) we talked and cuddled and made love... it was amazing. we were going to go to erica’s “sexprov” show but it was kinda expensive and we wanted to stay in, so after a little while of deliberation and me being worried about it, we decided to stay home and cuddle and we even started watching the lord of the rings! we fell asleep so cozy next to each other and slept (with some interruption from frankie being annoying haha) until 11 the next morning. it was SO GOOD to sleep in and snuggle and be warm. i love sleeping next to him. 

on saturday we had plans to sleep in, cuddle, and then hang out with breanna and bradley. nick and i slept in, made love again (hehe), and nick made us breakfast while he insisted i “take a load off” and watch some more of the lord of the rings. i forgot to mention before that i had a couple weird dreams that night!!! one was about a creepy, gollum-looking fellow masturbating on my front porch. i won’t go into more detail lol... anyway, nick made breakfast and it was delicious and then we decided to cuddle and watch the movie but we ended up taking a nap for about 30 minutes. we stayed in bed until around 3:30 when breanna said they were about ready to go, so we went back to my house to go on our outdoor adventure! we got there and all put on some more warm clothes and left for elm creek park reserve. oh! and we found out that my new amazing desk isn’t going to fit upstairs in my room : / so that’s disappointing... but oh well, it can stay in the living room. anyway, off we were to elm creek park and we jammed to volcano choir and laughed and smiled the whole way there. when we got there it took us a little while to find the trail but we found it and it was just about sunset, and it was extremely beautiful. we did more laughing and smiling, we took photos and spent time in the quiet with our loved ones. it couldn’t have been any better than it was. maybe it could’ve been a bit warmer but i’d say it was part of the experience (our toes were all quite chilly toward the end!). we left as the sun had just passed beyond the horizon and jammed to super fun tunes like imma be by the black eyed peas and sexyback by JT. 

when we got home, nick and i had plans to go to dinner at a speakeasy in stillwater for our valentines day date (we celebrated early). i got ready to go and nick laid in bed. we were very hungry and excited on the way to stillwater! once we got there, the table was ready. we got delicious drinks (my new favorite all time best drink ever called the bee’s knees) and yummy food (i got grilled cheese and nick got tacos, we shared deviled eggs and berry/brie/apple crostini - the portions were small for the appetizers but they were still very good). after dinner, we went to the stillwater ice castles! it was VERY cold, we should have worn more layers, but it was extremely fun and sweet to spend time together outside. i jumped around a lot to stay warm as we explored the castles (they were so beautiful and cool!), and nick shivered but didn’t complain. he is so sweet. we went down 2 slides, one of them was a twin slide so we got to race and i won! it wasn’t the most fair winning but he still bought us hot cocoa to share as my prize : ) it definitely warmed us up a bit and was very tasty. after looking around, watching the colors change in the ice and the fire-dancers do their thing, we went home. we listened to bon iver and held hands and sang at the top of our lungs. it was such a special night. he planned it all. i told him how grateful i was for him, and thanked him for treating me so well. he told me that its just how i should be treated. i love him. when we got home, we were pretty spent. we were going to watch some more lord of the rings but decided to go to sleep instead. we snuggled and were warm. 

in the morning, we didn’t hurry getting up. we slept in and snuggled and talked. we ate cookie dough and watched lord of the rings in bed. we have a very active sex life so we had sex again and it was beautiful. we talked and laughed and were joyful together. i didn’t want to leave but i had to do homework so i left. 

sometimes when i come home from weekends like this i feel a little bit sad that it’s over. today i don't feel sad, but i have an odd sense of missing nick even though we spent hours together all weekend. i got a little mad at myself for feeling this way, almost like i’m pathetic and unstable for wanting to be with him all the time but i don't think i should be upset with myself for feeling this way. i also think that it’s important to process and appreciate and take time to journal and remember wonderful experiences like this. for me especially it’s important. i think if i allow myself the time to remember and love it i can go on wholly loving what i have and had and instead of missing it and being sad that it’s over i can just know what it was and love it for that. i don’t know how else to describe it but it’s special to take time to appreciate the moments that are special : ) i love my life, and i am so blessed to have my relationship with nick and breanna and erica and my family. it’s so special. everything in this life is fleeting and i am thankful to know who i am in the midst of this beauty. i appreciate everything about who i am and the life i have. thank you god! 

[wellpersonsblog]

Bean Bytes 238

Hi friends!

Time for another round of Bean Bytes! We’re keeping things a bit light this week since I was on vacation last week and didn’t do as much blog reading as usual.

Good reads: For the Intuitive Eating Haters…This Post Is For You via Imma Eat That Why All Future Dietitians Need to Understand the Downsides of Dieting via Body Kindness 9 Reasons I’m a Whole30 Dropout via Sarah Kay Hoffman Choosing CAREfrontation over Confrontation via Carla Birnberg Please Stop Telling Me to Love My Body via Man Repeller Talking to Your Kids About How to Treat the Opposite Sex via Monica Swanson How The Tricky People Concept Saved My Boys via Family Share The 7 Diet Words This Dietitian Wants You To Stop Using via Alyssa Rumsey RD When Your Child Stops Being A Kid via Scary Mommy Your Child Is Human Too via Motherly Mom’s Post About Not Making Her Kids Share Should Be Required Reading via Scary Mommy <– this You Can Do Hard Things via Fitnessista

Breakfast: Gluten-Free Chocolate Raspberry Pancake Bread Overnight Oatmeal Six Ways Lemon Poppyseed Oatmeal Pancakes Blender Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Waffles Cornbread Pancakes

Dinner: Grilled Naan Pizza with Strawberry Chicken and Avocado Greek Turkey Burgers with Tzatziki Sauce Patacon Burgers Loaded Carnitas Puffed Tacos Cheesy Beef Rice Skillet

Sides: Roasted Veggie Mac and Cheese Cups Carrot Fritters Maple Tahini Salad Dressing Carrot Salad with Feta and Pistachios Quick & Easy Homemade Cornbread 

Dessert: Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake Vegan Raspberry Oatmeal Bars

Last week we packed up the kids and drove to Chicago to spend a few days with my parents and sister. We left Wednesday evening and arrived around 11pm. Despite the fact that it rained almost the entire way there, the car ride went well. Little Miss slept the ENTIRE ride. I cannot tell you the last time she slept six hours straight. Maybe never. If you need me i’ll be hiring a chauffeur to drive us around for hours on end from now on so we can both sleep.

Squish stayed up the majority of the ride but was well behaved. When we got there, we attempted to let him sleep on an air mattress (ie out of the crib for the first time ever). It didn’t go well. It took us 3 hours to get him to bed and we eventually ended up just putting him in the pack and play that we had set up for the baby.

It wasn’t exactly a relaxing vacation. My parents live right in the city so it gets light and loud very early. Our days started early, we crammed a lot in and we walked a ton…but it was so much fun! We went to the children’s museum at Navy Pier, the field museum to see the dinosaurs and the center for science and industry to see the trains. We enjoyed dinners out, a nice brunch and a lot of long walks.

Both kids were pretty well behaved. I wore the baby everywhere and hubby pushed Squish in the stroller which were workouts of their own! Little Miss turned six months and my sister was officially sworn in as a lawyer! The drive home was sunny, the baby slept the first 4 hours and Squish slept about the first half of the drive and we got home around 7pm Sunday. All in all a great trip and we can’t wait to head back in October.

Bright and early yesterday morning I was at the doctor with both of them for their 6 month/2.5 year checkups. Here’s a side by side of them at six months. Squish was 20 pound, 5 ounces and 28 inches (90th and 95th percentile). Little Miss is 16 pounds, 12 ounces and 27 inches (63rd and 89th percentile).

I was able to disconnect from my computer for a few days which was nice…and now i’ll be spending the rest of this week getting caught up!

How was your weekend?

Enjoy! –Lindsay–

The post Bean Bytes 238 appeared first on The Lean Green Bean.

First found here: Bean Bytes 238