#I might be depressed?? who knows lol
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I've thought a lot about the several thousand year old gnome druid we met who was just bitter and jaded and had spent most of those millennia sitting in one place not doing anything in particular except mourning her tiefling wife who'd died millennia ago, and how disgusted and infuriated with her melliwyk is, personally but also as a gnome herself-- and I'm thinking about it again like. honestly I think it goes beyond general cultural values; that level of willful ongoing stagnation and joyless nihilism is probably completely seriously a gnomish sin
#melliwyk-- viciously and also meaning it from the bottom of her heart: you might as well just be dead.#zhartook- a baby druid who has inherited tana's sort of cosmic role- came away from that meeting with existential dread#melliwyk's just SPITTING FIRE angry about it. what a WASTE. what a WASTE of a LIFE.#I'll be lucky to get a few CENTURIES and it won't be enough to squeeze as much LIVING out of life as possible!#other people are lucky to get even just a handful of decades!#and YOU!! who ought to KNOW BETTER!! don't even have A HOBBY?? you're sitting here talking about how POINTLESS EVERYTHING IS???#you married a tiefling and act like outliving your loved ones is uniquely tragic for you? like you wouldn't have done that anyway??#... ah I got possessed by mel's anger for a sec there gfkjhgfd. point is I think the real core of the most important gnome values#is that being alive and being a part of the world is a gift that you're meant to delight in and make the most of#it's your PURPOSE to seek joy and fun! it's your PURPOSE to INTERACT with the world creatively and inquisitively!#there's something almost blasphemous about PERMANENTLY and WHOLLY surrendering to despair#something heretical about talking confidently about how little anything matters and so there's no point in caring#tana's probably got turbo depression but her own hot take was just 'yeah kids this is what being alive this long does to you lol'#and mel is like. no I think you're just really fucking bad at it. like are you aware people are still writing new books#my OCs#melliwyk#gnome stuff
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh well i guess i'm waiting again
#no openings until possibly may but even then is not guaranteed and who knows what will happen by then :\#well... not much can do i guess... maybe try to lose a little weight and that might help with that area#a little depressing on an already depressing day tbh... oh well#will just spend the rest of the day reading and pretending the real world doesn't exist lol
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
i firmly believe in this conspiracy theory that there was an episode that got scrapped this season to make room for the celebrity booze episode BLINK TWICE IF U KNOW SOMETHING…. please
#the man doesnt blink mom!#the man doesnt blink!#ask#anon#ramblings#s16#im not a person who knows things sorry if i gave u tht impression smhow lol im jst sort of ther#we had 8 eps last season too tho right? my guess is its jst th new normal. depressing new normal.#i heard a costume designer on a diff set way b4 i got hired s15 like 'im doing sunny next. heard only 8 eps this season' nd was crestfallen#it might jst b wat theyr doing now#lets pray for s17 ig
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
Maybe I'm just cursed 🤪
#trigger warning for everything that follows in these tags btw#i am in need of some venting into the void#so im gonna vent#so uh#im almost out of time to find a new job before i have to leave my flat and move back with my parents#in the past 27 days ive filled in 189 job applications#6 of those led to interviews#so far 5 of those have been rejections#i even started looking at jobs that paid way less than i can feasibly live on just so i could at least cover rent and stay here but no luck#anyway thats already sucky#and then ive had to go off my adhd meds because of continuous and annoying fuck ups with my drs and im hesitant to work to fix it cause#might be moving counties anyway lol#my depression is the worst its ever been in about two years i struggle to want to exist day in and day out and#this morning i found out my dog - my baby who i dont live with because i moved cities - he lives with my parents#we found out he has an agressive cancer - and i have to now make choices i dont feel ready to make#and im just#do you ever feel like youre already one the ground but life wont stop kicking you#and i feel#so lonely#my friends are doing everything right my cousin who i live with is always checking in on me and i am still#convincing myself i am being a burden i am the problem i#my whole life is collapsing and i#even writing this all out in tags my brain is yelling at me for being an 'attention seeker' or smth and idk#i just wanna#idk#its complicated ig#im fighting#i am fighting so hard#i just want ppl to know im doing my best thats all#anyone who read all of this - hi - i hope youre having a beautiful day. its all going to be okay in the end 💛
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Having a Saturday like "most people I've dated have only really liked me for my body and/or a fake personality I've presented, so when they know the true me it's not enough to keep them around. Anyways let's have some ramen for my 2 pm breakfast."
#speculation nation#negative/#mayhaps. i am not feeling too great this morning.#this came from me thinkin about my recent ex again and how she said she never actually loved me#(im sick of thinking about it. but i think im gonna be thinking about that for a long long time.)#but i thought about how excited she'd get about my looks n body and i just thought to myself like#'maybe she didnt love me but at least That couldnt have been faked.'#n then i just paused like '...Geeze.' at how depressing a thought it was lmfao#like sorry my personality is ass and my hot bod's the only good thing about me (relationship-wise)#xoxoxo cant help bein a hot mess i guess !#... i dont know if she even realizes the blow she dealt to me by saying that.#i Told her i had trust issues and felt unlovable. i Told her this.#and yet she tells me that she never actually loved me and every time she said it was a 'mistake'. a MISTAKE.#she didnt need to say that. she literally didnt need to say that. even if it was true there are just some things that dont need said.#in the end. she's not the first person who's dealt this kind of blow to me. and she might not be the last.#i'll keep going. i'll keep trying. i know im not actually unlovable. there's gotta be Someone who likes me for more than just my body#who is also a good fit for me. they Gotta exist out there. somewhere.#and for now. i continue on with full confidence in my attractiveness but Zero confidence in my personality.#might try a nice n slow romance next. make them actually work for it b4 they get to sleep with me.#make it a reward or smth. or rather. make sure theyre not here for Just that lol.#sure would be nice if i had someone interested in me for more than just my body. we'll see if i can find that lol.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about replaying all the danganronpa games and reading more of the novels and spin offs n stuff…
#I’m always thinking about komahina and komaeda but it’s been a while since I was actively into danganronpa itself… I’m feeling the urge now#honestly I never finished dr3 anime because I didn’t like it 😭😭😭I know everything that happens in it I just never finished the last 4 episo#bc I got ultra depression and couldn’t watch anything for a while when I was 15#I did actually like most of dr3 but there were like just a few things I didn’t like#I don’t remember why so I’m curious if I’ll feel differently about it now. I also didn’t like some of komaedas characterization#I liked most of komaedas characterization but I also felt like they used him for fan service too much. not talking about the shower scene#that was just funny and awesome. I love komaeda sexualization#I remember not liking him blowing the gym up or whatever bc I felt like it was more fan service than anything. but that’s just my opinion#and it’s been so long so maybe when I rewatch it I’ll feel differently who knows#I just felt like thag part was kind of silly and didn’t make much sense. it felt like just fanswrbeice like here’s Komaeda blowing somethin#up like ok thanks. I guess. like it’s not even completely out of character really I just didn’t like it#also honestly I got so into komaeda at some point that seeing him made me feel ill I can’t explain it. like I got sick seeing people talk#about him or make videos about him or mention him… it was crazy#even now I still get stressed out to an unreasonable degree when people from my pov mischaracterize him or stray too far from my specific#headcanons like it’s not super healthy LOL but I think I’m allowed to be super insane about at least one gay anime boy ok#I’m better at recognizing when I’m being unreasonable now though… I respect some different interpretations… sometimes#damn this ramble paragraph might be proof that i should not get actively back into danganronpa itself
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've heard how isolating grief can be because everyone is afraid to talk to you but apparently having a scary diagnosis is the same way 🥲
#i wasnt expecting the reaction (or lack thereof) from most of my friends to my diagnosis#i've had invisible disabilities for years so im used to people not really caring about that but this is different#like nobody wants to talk to me at all about anything#most of my friends are avoiding me#i guess im too depressing to be around or they feel awkward and dont know what to say#but its super depressing and kind of hurtful like nobody cares#only one friend who's a nurse and one friend who also had a really bad health crisis not too long ago are acting like they care#im sure its not that nobody literally cares they just dont know what to say or whatever but :(#even some older people i know are doing it which surprised me#i expected more mature people to be used to news like this and better at reacting to it#anyway its only a chance i might go blind not a certainty#i would still like to be part of conversations#we dont Have to talk about the elephant in the room#though i kind of would like to a bit but i dont have to with everyone all the time#im not about to start crying if you talk to me#people i barely know seem less afraid to talk to me than my actual friends#they'll at least ask how i'm doing before ending the conversation lol#anyway 🧍♀️#sorry to be a downer by existing#this has been a shitpost#illness tw#anyway its not certain its just a chance i might go blind#either way im not dying#even if i were it would be hurtful obviously but whatever
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌸。*゚+. If anyone has a nice version of ph*t*sh*p (cracked or not) they're willing to share with me, I would be forever grateful. I got hit with the "You're using an unlicensed version--" message and I can't use mine anymore c': and I can't remember where I had gotten mine and will need to filter through a bunch of... questionable links to find it again online.
So if anyone has a link to a trusted downloaded, I would appreciate it a ton!
#MUN SPEAKING 🌸 ᴬ ʷᵉᵃᵛᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗᵃˡᵉˢ; ᴾᵃⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵃʳˢ#I have work tonight so I'll be working on replies then. Hope everyone's been doing well~#Been drawing more and working on other stuff. You'll probably see my art post sometime in the future on here pffft~#It hasn't felt like October at all for me and it's depressing c': but I'm planning to just watch horror movies soon#for the course of the next few days at least. Immerse myself. And just. Try to get into the spirit of things.#Been a little rough mentally/emotionally but I've been making stuff creatively (even if it's been difficult) so that's good!#Just been tired. Wish I didn't have work tonight but eeeeehhhh I'll survive! I might toss a random starter with some muses. Who knows.#I've got a few replies due but for the most part I'm not sweating it and feel like I can afford getting more threads rolling~#Been feeling pretty hyped on the Romeo train so. We'll see!! ANYWAYS have a good day y'all#Rambling in the tags like usual. Very On Brand of me to word dump in here LOL
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that it is October feels so fake. and you want me to believe we're basically halfway through the month already? lol. get real. i don't even have my Halloween costume planned yet, how could it possibly be-

#damien.txt#i don't think time has actually been passing for me for at least a month now#like im sure time is passing but it's not passing for ME y'know?#.........so anyways i learned abt this fun thing called seasonal depression-#lol jk ive known what that is for years. starting to consider that it is. something i perhaps experience.#don't Love the thought because autumn is actually my favorite season#and these suspicious moods tend to hit september-november#but also..... who knows. it might have more to do with how my college semesters have been?#bc i dont think i was experiencing this prior to college + my fall semesters have been... relatively shitty lol#but. y'know. were they shitty BECAUSE i was depressed. who knows.#chicken. egg. you know how it goes#anyways. i need to sleep. bc as established time is not real for me#yet it is 5 am. how strange.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Often times it just so happens to be that no matter how hard you try, words just simply cannot make their way onto the paper in front of you. Maybe it’s you thats holding yourself back, maybe it’s life or school.
But that doesn’t matter to you, does it? The only thing that matters is your inability to act. You didn’t do what makes you, you. Your entire purpose, career, life, all revolves around creating- and you cant even do that.
But can you really blame yourself? Its not your fault, really it isnt. It cant be. Your mind cant formulate normal sentences anymore, your not as articulate as you once was, the muscles in your fingers have grown weak. That isnt your fault! Surely it isnt, if it was, you would have acted on them by now, wouldnt you have?
…
Forget it. Even that word looks odd. The r is out of place. R’s symbolize regal strength. Strength in aesthetic, strength in propriety. There is nothing strong about being forgotten. But then again, foget doesn’t sound right either. It’s like somethings missing, but I can’t wrap my head around what it is. It sounds so incomplete. Without strength, being forgotten is undefined, abstract, a sort of remembrance malleable to everyone but yourself. However with strength, with all those values upheld, with that false image sustained relentlessly for all that time, being forgotten is disappointing; egregious, a reminder that our fate lies not in our hands but in the threads that weave their way through our hearts.
Was it a consequence of my own self-loathing that I feel this way? An inability to concentrate, to focus on the things that truly matter to me? I reach out to that distant guiding light, but I receive nothing but the path deeper into the interstice of which I am trapped.
What is the purpose of creativity without substance? What is the beauty behind scattered thoughts with no clear direction? Questions with no answer.
Objective fact versus subjective feeling, which one will seize the throne of priority?
Who am I if I cannot be who I am?
All rhetorical anyway. Is my presence really that frightening to you? Rest assured, I do not recognize that man staring back at her through the mirror as well. We are the same in that we have been left with no meaning, no hope, and nothing left to work for in a life as cruel as ours.
No words can describe the pain of humanity at its zenith, brought on by the nadir of our own morality.
We enter an age filled with tyranny, hopelessness, apathy, and ignorance.
Or rather, we as in me.
#ramblings#angst#sorry for being depressing#personal vent#burnt out#one step at a time#doing my best#azul ashengrotto#my love#i kinda like it#kinda poetry#rant post#first thing i wrote in a while lol#dw im fine#im not usually like this#this depressing anyways#i might start writing consistently again during my lunch breaks so yeah#my moot is rlly supportive so most likely i will#im also interesting in doing x reader#i think the people who see my posts dont actually know that so dont be shy send in an ask if u want#man i hate school#i could go on#but i wont#writing#listened to alex g while writing this (i love alex g)#i didnt read over this actually now that post rant clarity is starting i feel kinda ashamed#i hope even thought its so chaotic someone can relate#pls guys dont judge me by this rant im usually rlly upbeat and energetic i swear#this is just the singular exception in which i feel as though ill find solace through posting#aight imma head out
1 note
·
View note
Text
I'm taking my first week off from exercise (excluding my recovery from surgery and bizarre two month illness), and it's because of an injury lmfao. Does this count as a week off or is it mandatory rest?
#NOTE: i do a deload week starting from right before until right after my period#so it's not like i dont work in rest#i also have 2 rest days every week (nonconsecutive) and two half days due to my residual fatigue#(which may be from the illness but who fucking knows. i need to see an endocrinologist bc no one else has been able to help me yet)#(i would say that it could be poor nutrition but my blood tests have all been fine aside from my wbc#which was always a little high. probably bc of my allergies but apparently it could also be due to the tooth that i need#a crown on lmfao#might have to get it removeeeedddddd!! <<this all happened bc of covid. a filling from my dogshit old dentist popped out right#before everything closed#and none of the dentists around me were taking new patients#then after i finally got a root canal i couldnt get a crown bc of reasons im not getting into so i dont accidentally doxx myself lol#and now another fillung from my old dogshit dentist popped out and i had to wait 2 years to get it filled#and a third filling from my dogshit dentist popped out and i had to wait a year to get it filled#so i might have to get ANOTHER root canal -_-#this is what i get for not taking care of myself due to 10 years of horrible depression#but im getting my teeth fixed and a cleaning#so i should get a nice reset!#i wont be able to.fix the damage done to my gums already but ive been diligent in brushing and flossing for the past 2 years#and i started showering regularly since last summer!! and even more often during summer months!!!!! so I'm doing great :D)
0 notes
Text
.
#like i definitely need therapy lol#not that i havent tried in the past nothings just worked/stuck like the therapists werent a good fit for me perhaps#so im trying to reach out again because holy shit#i want to a) get out of my phd and b) have normal fucking friendships#but its so hard right now when anxious thoughts take over SO much some days like i know i cannot do this on my own#i have good friends i know who will hear me out#but man its the same thing over and over again with me but in a new font sometimes i swear#and my friends dont need to hear all those anxious depressive thoughts lol like#once in a while sure esp my closer friends but all the time? nawr#i have been trying to journal but man the emotions just bubble up and i dont feel better until ive like said things out loud#so honestly just having someone to rant about the same issues over and over again might be nice lol .#but i need to find a therapist that fits which is the hardest part#i do think ive made small strides on my own which is nice#but the emotions are just so loud and genuinely affect my day to day like its so hard battling things on my own#im at the point now where im like this cant go on for much longer somethings gotta change#if i want to have a phd in the next year and if i want to maintain friendships normally#and esp if i wanna stay roommates with this girlie cuz holy shit its been a lot harder than i expected maybe#i dont think i can do it on my own without major reprecussions#bro its also been like so long#i feel like ive always had some human i was extremely fond of for the past ?? years albeit most of them were like fake right like in the kp#*kpop world so it was fine when it becomes a real person it is absolutely terrible let me tell u .#but its also been a habit like i didnt realize how terrible my thoughts w ys were until now cuz they really wernet normal thoughts at all#like i want to break free of having these kind of attachments to people in a way cuz the only way i feel like ive been able to deal with bi#feelings is by transferring them to a new subject which isnt what i want anymore#like i just want it all to stop!#i also feel like mentally ive gotten worse ?? than before ?? in some ways like#i dont know if i want to make new friends and connections anymore#the same way i was trying so hard in the previous year which is worse bc now my efforts are like#SOLELY on this one girl in a way which is NOT. GOOD.#ive been trying to have conversations with the third roommate but i have to force myself?
0 notes
Text
Tutorial on how to edit graphics! (Or improve your edits! + tips!) Part 1..
Well firstly, if you’re entirely new to editing or a beginner. Then editing can seem very confusing and tricky, especially the intense psd, cluttered kind of edits, mine are also very cluttered but I think the best way to go as far as being a beginner is to figure out what style you want to do.. minimalistic? Cluttered? Eye strain? Gif/animated? I personally don’t do very many animated graphics and I also don’t do eye strain, so.. you’re on your own for that but it’s important to know what ur GOAL is. You need to know the basics of editing before doing anything else.
The editing apps I recommend are photopea and ibisPaint X, both are free. I really don’t recommend any paid apps other than ibispaint.. yes there’s ibispaint x then ibispaint. (The paid version has everything in it and is a one-time purchase, and has the same mechanics as the free version. If you are editing on pc or laptop, there is a version of ibispaint on desktop but you are only able to use it for 1 hour, if you are most comfortable with ibispaint then you can just delete it and re-download it. But if you don’t want to do that (you can use photopea!) I don’t use photopea so this will be a tutorial using only ibispaint! I can probably find a moot of mine that uses it LOL
So as far as resources go.. they’re everywhere.. I know @/lavendergalactic, @/llocket and @bydollita have a lot of good resources. (I didn’t fully mention the other two because well.. they’re not my moots so I felt awkward LOL) I can probably post some of my most used ones on a separate side blog like I did with my last account so.. also tell me if ur interested in that.
But for the basics of your resources: you want the character or person. An image then a transparent cut-out of them, a frame and/or pfp/image mask to use, and some decorative PNGs like bows, curtains, hearts, whatever you’d like. I can link some good resource rentries too!
Once you have all of that: find a reference/inspo, if you are taking HEAVY inspiration off of someone from tumblr or whatever, PLEASE check if they are okay with it, message or send them an ask in their inbox if it’s okay.. or they might have it somewhere on their pinned post if they allow it.
And now.. the question ur probably asking.. how do I do all of that?!
I had quickly made this. You can see the main components. The character cut-out, the inner image behind the frame, the decor, and the silly texts and textures behind the graphic to make it pop.
If you want ur graphics to be this cohesive there’s a few things to note. You need to know colours look best together, what style of editing looks best with certain art styles, and characters.
If you’re wondering “why does this character look so out of place?” Or just finding yourself in a rut with certain characters, you need to examine the character, like you can’t make a goth style graphic with a happy and cheery character like emu otori (depending on the card you choose) or like paimon from Genshin impact.. like that’s just gonna look SILLY. So take note of what this character looks like and what their original colour palette is. Are they a happy person? Are they emo and depressed? What colours do you usually see this person in?
Having range in your editing style will help you a lot, so branch out and edit different characters, and use different colours, and aesthetics!
Now for colours, you need to understand colour theory which quite frankly.. I am not about to teach out so probably at the end of this post I will have some videos linked for you to look at and watch that just overall will help you understand better how to edit that includes a video about colour theory!
If you are an editor and find yourself not being able to edit a certain style or can’t fulfill someone’s request for a certain aesthetic.. don’t be afraid to decline because a lot of the times you’ll have people who know nothing about what looks good with ur editing style or what aesthetics fit certain characters so it’s okay to decline stupid people… (/j.. they’re not stupid but ykw I mean..)
Using the stroke filter on ibispaint or photopea, aswell as the glow filter on ibispaint make ur edits look VERY good! (I use it on everything because it gives everything a little bit of separation yk? So you can see the different layers to the graphic!
Using textures over top of your graphics make it look very visually appealing aswell!
So as I mentioned I will link some videos, and I will also link some posts for good textures, and then add some photos for downloadable fonts to use on ibispaint (if you don’t know how to download fonts on ibispaint I can make a tutorial too! If you are also confused on how to use ibispaint they have a built-in tutorial, and it’s also best to learn as you go, look at all of the filters, the effects, the built-in images/materials)
Please for the love of god.. DONT over-do it with ur overlays and psds, unless that’s the style you like, don’t do it.. me personally.. I don’t like it but if you like it then go right ahead but over-usage of overlays and colourings make it look kinda bad 😭 and kind of confusing to look at, please make sure you can see the different components of your graphics and what is what.. if it’s too confusing to look at, chances are you’re less likely to have people like it or enjoy it. And don’t over-do it with fonts either… people need to be able to see whatever ur trying to say.. I wear glasses and people who over-do stupid fonts piss me off.. I literally block them, so keep that in mind aswell 🫶🏻
Photopea tutorial How to use a pfp/icon mask Colour theory If you needed a visual for how to make graphics here you go Some textures and overlays How to make a rentry How to use borders on rentries How to make blinkies
Some tags for reach: @frilliette @blinkndgone @hellhoundsdoth0wl @smilepilled @nomkiwi
#( ╹ ╹)? a post!#rentry stuff#rentry graphics#rentry#tutorial#tutorials#rentry tutorial#rentry graphics tutorial#tumblr tutorial#editblr#rentryblr#editors on tumblr
506 notes
·
View notes
Text










Goosebumps Books 1-10
Can't believe that it took me nearly two years to just do 10 covers for the books. Will be posting more Goosebumps in the future, along with other stuff.
Read more to know my personal opinions and critiques on my fanart for each book:
Welcome to Dead House: I wanted to make the house look alive like Monster House, so I gave it more human characteristics (ie: the people in the windows to form eyes, or the finger-like branches.) Also paid homage to a horror film by styling it after The Amityville Horror house.
The Benson children themselves look a bit depressed, that's because the first book is actually more scarier than the rest of the series, so they're a bit angsty.
Stay Out of the Basement: This one killed a lot of my green markers lol. I tried to make Dr. Brewer as menacing as possible while still showing that he is a father with the photos, There were going to be more plants reaching out, but I decided that the leaves hidden on him would be enough.
Though I have to admit my disappointment with the lighting. It still looks a bit too bright, and not dark enough. That's just my own critique.
Monster Blood: Honestly, pretty mixed about this one. While I'm proud of the bubbling ooze that looks like a skull, which is outlined by one of my colored pens. I'm not proud that everything else is so muted with brown. Almost all of Jacobus' works are vibrant and saturated, so it being dull in colors feels like a disservice to him.
Also, Andy's last name was made up by me, she apparently just doesn't have one. It's inspired by Stephen King. Btw, hope you love banana and strawberry dyed hair, you'll see more of it soon in future batches.
Say Cheese and Die!: One of my favorite books, and of course it gets the best fanart imo. The screaming skeleton form of Greg Banks with red bg in the polaroid, contrasting with the dark background is just super cool, coolest shit I've ever done. Though I might be biased, I really like skeletons. Like Curly.
I actually made concept art for a Say Cheese and Die! graphic novel, which includes drawings of the photos and Spidey! Let me know if you're curious.
The Curse of The Mummy's Tomb: Not much to this one honestly. Just a mummy casually busting down a wall filled with hieroglyphics. Though I will say, I was experimenting with shading with purple and blues like Jacobus. As you can see, didn't stick for long.
This is also the book that I discovered that if the protag doesn't have a last name, then there is an official one either in the Presents novels, the mobile app, comics or other.
Let's Get Invisible!: This was pretty tricky to draw. Drawing someone turning invisible maybe easy in Photoshop or Procreate, but this was traditional art. Sure Jacobus did it with airbrushes, but I all had were pens and markers. But I somehow managed to pull it off, which is insane that I even managed that in the first place.
Night of the Living Dummy: Ah, the infamous Pamela Vorhees book, where the main antagonist isn't the mascot, but instead some other puppet lol. I've seen a lot of fanart of Slappy, but never of Mr. Wood. So I wanted to do justice for Wood while still showcasing Slappy. While I am proud for how it mostly turned out, there are two things that bother me. 1. This is the night sky that is black, the rest are either blue or purple. 2. I forgot to add the lines that make the jaw on Mr. Wood, whoops.
Aside from that, I hope guys like that Misfits poster in the background and Kris's cool hair cut. The green was inspired by the comic adaption not 2015 Jacksepticeye.
The Girl Who Cried Monster: Please forgive me for the small thumbnail, I wasn't using a ruler at the time. The design for Mr. Mortman wasn't much of a challenge. I loosely based it off of the French rendition of the cover and gave him a large leech-like mouth.
In my headcannon, the teeth spin like a garbage disposal, making easy work of the turtles.
Welcome to Camp Nightmare: Another one of my favorites, and I think I did a decent enough job, too. The lighting is perfect, the clouds look alien enough, and you can just barely see the screaming campers inside the tent. I do have one issue though, and that is the size of the monster, Sabre. In the original sketch I did, he was supposed to blend in like a bush, but instead he looks like Sasquatch Sr. Oh well.
While they did give Billy a last name in the Presents books, I had to make up one for Dawn. Just based it off Gwen Stacy lol. Also, hope you enjoy the little bonus pictures down below.
The Ghost Next Door: The original Jacobus art was perfectly vague enough to keep the twist there but not spoil anything. Of course to do the same thing, but with a twist of my own. The "ghost" shadow that you see in the street is the Dark Figure that follows Hannah around or when Danny is near. I wanted it to look like it was constantly on fire, since SPOILERS: someone in the book does die in a fire.
Another headcannon is that the Dark Figure isn't actually a ghost or whatever, but instead the embodiment of Misery.
#goosebumps#goosebumps fanart#welcome to dead house#stay out of the basement#monster blood#say cheese and die#the curse of the mummys tomb#lets get invisble#night of the living dummy#the girl who cried monster#welcome to camp nightmare#the ghost next door#horror#nostalgia#90s nostalgia#amanda benson#josh benson#magret brewer#casey brewer#dr brewer#evan ross#andy kingsley#greg banks#shari walker#gabe sabry#sari hassad#max thompson#lefty thompson#kris powell#lindy powell
808 notes
·
View notes
Text
took a one hour nap and thought i’d die during it. i was exhausted but also full of adrenaline having not slept the previous night but at the same time had such high anxiety that the lack of sleep combined with my racing heart and brain made me go into some sort of shutting down of my system as i was dozing off it was so incredibly weird
#will start tagging my depressing posts with#m#so i can look back on them#one day#and see that things (hopefully) improved#i laid in bed for what felt like an eternity after waking up#but then i got up and cleaned my bathroom for some reason than did my dishes tidied up and then heated up a leftover me#ate while rewatching succession#cried while cleaning the bathroom thinking about how much i miss going to therapy and imagining myself at my first meeting back#spoke to my dad on the phone bc im not speaking to my mom currently#and it was a nice talk and i was still tearing up and trying to hide it#will attempt to do yoga in bed for like 10 minutes probably wont succeeding but thats the plan#and tommorow my final dance class which makes me feel ambivalent#on the one hand ill miss it because for once in my life i truly felt connected to my body in a way that transcended shame#on the other hand trying to transcend shame once a week is a lot#lol#still having issues dealing with p#and avoiding it every day#and i think that might me my main cause of stress and anxiety and i keep thinking that once that will be all well i'll feel a little freer#who knows
0 notes