#I mean I suppose it could be worse
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Tag Game - First 10 Lines
Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.
Got tagged by the wonderful @wykart - thank you!!! :D I’m actually gonna include the first lines of wips I’m working on that aren’t posted yet because I think that’ll be more interesting to show haha. Gonna try and put them roughly in the order I wrote/posted them in. They’re all Doctor Who, of course.
1. Taken from a canon-based oneshot that I might not finish, currently called ‘i’m what’s left when children go to war’
“What do you mean you can’t get her out?” Yaz is saying, clearly trying for stern and authoritative, but not quite managing to hide the raw fear that’s bleeding out through the cracks in her voice.
2. Taken from ‘The Trestle at Kasterborous Creek’, which is a spydoc canon-based multichapter involving matrix nonsense and references to an obscure play that I love a lot. Alas, it’s actually the second line of the fic that’s one of my favourites
The room is choked with shadows.
3. Taken from Campervan AU part 6
On a scale of one to ten, Ryan thinks to himself, how embarrassing is it to hide in the kitchen at your own party?
4. Taken from ‘fletching’ - yet another canon-based oneshot that I’ll probably never finish
The snow is crisp under her boots, each step a soft crunch underfoot as she traipses through the frozen forest, coat wrapped tightly around her.
5. Taken from your ex-lover remains dead (i'll kill who you hate), my post-TPOTD spydoc oneshot
She really should not be doing this.
6. Taken from ‘haunted house’, which is a Ryan-centric post-TPOTD oneshot that I never finished
“I’m just saying that it doesn’t make sense, is all!” Yaz is saying, the video stuttering on Ryan’s phone screen as his shaky internet connection tries its best to carry the call.
7. Taken from and you will go to mykonos - a thoschei-ish prison ficlet
“This isn’t real,” the Master comments as the wind plays with the tails of his coat.
8. Taken from FUTURE DUST (blood and rust) - zombie au!
The survivor camp is built around a hospital in what’s left of Liverpool, and it’s busy.
9. Taken from ‘the rockrose and the thistle’ - yet another unfinished spydoc oneshot
The sudden spike of pain sends her back into consciousness with a gasp, harsh against the darkness.
10. Taken from the wild grass overlapping the front porch, a dhawan!master pov drabble that I wrote as part of the drabble bingo challenge!
It turns out that escaping death particles, frankensteining an army out of the corpses of his own people, and letting an AI share his brain eventually takes its toll.
There we go! Now everyone knows how much I’ve been floundering with wips in the last few months hahah. I’m hoping I get out of the rut I’ve hit with campervan au soon, but said rut is definitely making me more distractable. Trestle was going very well until I realised that it was much bigger than I anticipated (I was at almost 40k and realised I wasn’t even halfway through rip) and then hit a rut with that too, and now my brain isn’t letting me write rip. So I’m just taking a break now, and hopefully I’ll get back on the wagon sooooon.
Tagging some wonderful writers (but no pressure, ofc, feel free to ignore) - @taardisblue, @sunshinedaysforever, @gabeorelse, @novantinuum, @fictionpenned, @koschgay, @emptyofdust, @echo84, @krebkrebkreb
#taka gets tagged#tag game#taka writes#I mean I suppose it could be worse#at least SOME of them are posted and done#i would genuinely LOVE to finish trestle some day#i love it so much#it's so weird haha
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I want you whipped into shape!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#yu ziyuan#wang lingjiao#wen zhuliu#'When I say jump - say “how high'”? You know you're doing it right when you start to cry!“#Of course I can't resist the Legally blonde reference. This is the Elle Woods is canon in PD-MDZS blog#I love this scene so much. There are a lot of things to say about it and I would go over the limit if I indulged.#Suffice it to say the main takeaway *here* is that I think YZY is milfboss of the millennia.#I intended for this to be posted on international women's day but my ambition led me to keep trying to make it better.#And by better I mean I spent several days (re)drawing this one and that is **not** what poorly-drawn-mdzs is supposed to be about.#I will be making the next few comics worse to compensate <3 At the very least I will honour my time and tag it as 'better drawn'#('my time' spent hunched over my desk while I chant 'this concept is *not* above my skill level!' over and over again)#Funny story about PD!Wen Zhuliu; he was supposed to show up sooner but I kept accidently cutting the comics he would have been in.#So I like to think he just went on a long coffee run. 'Go get me an (insert coffee chain) pink drink' said Wen Chao.#'He never said from which location' said Wen Zhuliu as he proceeded to walk 100km to the farthest cafe he could find.
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had a thought of what if Airplane had leaned a little more into the self-insert idea for Luo Binghe when he was still at the early stages of writing, with an end result that Luo Binghe actually Looks Like That because he basically looks like Airplane but with long flowing hair and a more idealized figure
SQQ going "why the fuck did you make his face so pretty???" and Airplane bullshitting about plausibility while trying really hard not to blush. twisting his fingers and scuffing his toe like jeez bro he's not that good-looking...
which of course sets SQQ off because how DARE!?! not 'that' good-looking?!?! just look at him! he's xianxia Helen of Troy with a face that launched a thousand harems! like okay sure with looks like that it does make sense that half the female population was willing to timeshare a marriage with him, but it's also totally unfair to SQQ, who has no recourse against those looks either! and who could? that is the most beautiful face ever!
Airplane's getting flustered. tries valiantly to make the case that objectively speaking Luo Binghe isn't that good-looking, it's just that SQQ is biased, but boy does that not go over well. SQQ has hitched the tattered remnants of his self-perception as a straight man onto the idea that Luo Binghe is just so devastatingly attractive anyone would want to hop into bed with him, and he is not letting go of it, so Airplane is just gonna get wrecked with inadvertent compliments
bonus if the Shang Qinghua look is actually the result of several illusions because when Airplane first transmigrated in, he got the same face too, and foresaw potential problems if the half-demon protagonist turned up looking like him. so he used illusions. he doesn't actually look all that different, in fact! the illusions just make it so that when people see him, they get a strong impression that he's unremarkable, so they don't really register what his face actually looks like and their brains fill in the assumption that he must just be kinda plain
oooh ooh double bonus if the system inserted a behind-the-scenes explanation for it too, which is that Shang Qinghua is actually unwittingly related to Su Xiyan!
and the whole thing comes to light post-epilogue when Shang Qinghua's illusions get stripped away by some monster-of-the-week, while everyone except Mobei Jun has a freak out about why do you look just like Luo Binghe?! (Mobei Jun isn't freaking out because he already figured out how to see past the illusions and just assumed everyone else wasn't mentioning it for some human cultural reason or something) and then Yue Qingyuan calmly explains that Luo Binghe's mom is Shang Qinghua's matrilineal cousin. Shang Qinghua's mother and Luo Binghe's human grandmother were half-sisters.
what? how does Yue Qingyuan know? you think that Cang Qiong doesn't check up on the candidates for the peak lord positions before handing off power, doesn't make sure there are no conflicts of interest or divided loyalties to other sects? what sorts of things do people imagine Qiong Ding's diplomats do? (I don't know either but, for the purpose of this scenario at least some of it is tracking down this stuff -- YQY handled most of it personally for his generation's ascension because he didn't want anyone else digging into his and Xiao Jiu's pasts) anyways, the connection could have been troublesome for its ties to Huan Hua Palace, but by the time it came to light Su Xiyan was deceased and there was no evidence that Shang Qinghua had ever even met her. so it wasn't deemed significant enough to matter, was just made note of and then mostly forgotten
so Shang Qinghua is like "oh THAT is why you kept bringing her up to me back then?!" because at the time he'd just been fully in "haha how would I know anything about the impending plot and the tragedies I am both partly responsible for and powerless to prevent haha that's so funny shixiong I KNOW NOTHING" mode, which luckily at the time was easily read as him just not wanting a dead cousin he never met to tank his chances of securing a promotion
SQQ is floored. he is having issues about this. Shang Qinghua is related to Binghe? Shang Qinghua looks exactly like him?! wait. Binghe has human family? still alive? like grandparents and stuff out there, who might want to meet him...?
Luo Binghe decides to step in at that point because he does not want to meet any more relatives! no more surprise relatives! no!
luckily this distracts Shen Qingqiu from thinking about all of the things he's said to Airplane about Binghe's looks for long enough for Shang Qinghua to flee the scene
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#bingqiu#moshang#cumplane#well kinda cumplane anyway#by implication#long post#what if sqh can't get his illusions back up#everyone keeps bothering him even more now to ask why he's hot all of a sudden#it's even worse than when they just used to bother him about fixing broken doors or balancing budgets#sqq is not gonna be normal about this#'you said binghe wasn't a self-insert!!!' 'well by the end he definitely wasn't...' 'were you this hot irl? why were you poor?!'#'wtf is that supposed to mean...?' 'with these looks you surely could have found somebody willing to support you!'#'bro are you asking me why I wasn't a sugar baby?!' 'of course not!' 'you totally are asking me why I wasn't a sugar baby'#'...but you must have gotten offers' 'only from the hot single ladies near me on my computer and they were all viruses'#etc etc etc so on and so forth the usual insane banter those two have
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my n1 guilty pleasure is thinkin that post m2 lauretta moved deeper into criminal after several years & ended up sentenced to jail somewhere in the middle of 1970s
#sorry... had to say it. maybe i just want her to run a brothel&etc somewhere out of empire bay and#giving interviews and shit and she's in her 60+s. and ofc it's a furor. and she enjoys it (more than?) a bit#yk i just was writing texts for SC for m2 women some time ago#and im sorry .. in my delusional head if she got the chance to be in charge; havin the same amount of power#as carlo she'd be so much worse than him (<- here it means better i suppose)#i mean if she'd end up in criminal ofc she cant have an equal position it's clear etc#i just enjoy her being cruel and having no morals. why to let go all this#m2#also it'd be funny if eddie & lauretta'd keep in touch. both end up in jail#i need her to cause a furor genuinely. M4 could be if not exactly bout her#(i'm mentally bargaining w 2kczech) but at least takin place in her area of control#i remember some1 made a post like evil women in mafia series when#Here she is. Here's the woman#sorry. i may be cringe but i had to say it bc i sometimes think bout it since spring#michelle gurevich makes me think bout lauretta its like a ring bell for Pavlov's dogs#Where is this tt sound. “I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! i dont care about homeless fucking people!”#<- lauretta in my eyes#i also need her w wrinkles n greying hair so bad. im a weak person. im lying i need everything above so bad#*picture of a cat w wet eyes*
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I'll never not find it funny that Jellystone's Doggie Daddy of all characters is a better father and person in general than Stolas.
#jellystone#jellystone!#Doggie Daddy#anti stolas#stolas critical#anti helluva boss#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critical#anti vivziepop#vivziepop critical#vivziepop criticism#I mean last time I checked Doggie Daddy never neglected his daughter so he could go sexually harass the guy she views as ruining the family#And he sure as hell worries for his daughter if she goes missing if Grocery Store is any indication#Granted he's not necessarily a GOOD parent or person#In fact it's pretty obvious that Doggie Daddy is a textbook helicopter parent that doesn't let Augie have any individuality#and they are weirdly codependent with each other#which makes it even sadder that the “love interest” in a show for adults that's supposed to handle mature topics is worse
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Do you think you be Mayor could’ve been better friends (orsomethingmore) under different circumstances?
MASTER POST
Asks Start 💜🩷
Previous 💜🩷
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#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk#lmk fanart#lmk macaque#monkie kid macaque#blue and violet#literally the only reason these two know each other is because LBD needed the two of them to find the skeleton key#if it were not for that then these two would have never met#so I suppose you could say it always had to turn out this way#but that doesn't mean it cant get any better#BUT THEN AGAIN I SUPPOSE YOU COULD ALSO SAY THAT IT CAN GET WORSE#Macaque really doesn't know what to think of the Mayor#like the dude did some crazy and hurtful stuff to Macaque (kind of) with the whole kidnapping thing#but its not like Macaque can actually blame the Mayor for doing that#same goes for the fact that Macaque had to work with the Chief against his will all those years ago#the Mayor/Chief isnt the one ti blame here but the guy still did that stuff#so its complicated#in other words Macaque wants to hate the Mayor but literally cannot find a valid reason to do so#could these two habe been friends from the get go if things were different?#I don't think so#because they would have never met in the first place#because LBD is the reason these two met and LBD is also the reason why the relationship turned very very sour and bitter#at least in Macaque's POV
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genuinely it’s this kinda shit that makes me seriously question my existence as a film major, specifically one focused on screenwriting for television. like it’s such a disgustingly hostile environment for any creators and just seems like an industry that gets progressively harder and more painful to participate in. why am I even doing this if whatever I may end up putting my time and effort and soul into will probably end up spat on and tossed out (if it even miraculously gets picked up by one of the handful of big malicious streaming entities that control what is and isn’t produced and seen in the first place). it’s either 1) don’t make any money and be doomed to have a second job forever, or 2) be subject to the torment and humiliation of the streaming service empire for eternity. that’s the state of show creation right now and it actually makes me sick and I just hope one day soon everyone gets tired enough of this status quo to shift the norm of how shows get produced back to a state where shows don’t require the permission of streaming services and other big corporate entities to exist and continue existing. that’s the only thing that’d make me feel like I have a real future in my own field.
#rambling#dead boy detectives#I feel much worse than I did when I first heard the announcement now that the doom and dread is really setting in#like it’s Doomed doomed. getting any kind of renewal through another company seems like it’d take a miracle#actually yeah no it would. it would take a miracle. I know it’s not happening#so yeah#seeing how resigned the cast/crew are to the show’s death I think really just. broke me#like they’re not trying to save it nor is there any implication such a thing is possible. they’re resigned to it and that means. to me.#it’s dead. stone cold#sorry for being depressing I guess but. yeah all odds are saying it’s dead and it’s gonna stay dead#best we’re gonna get is a cameo in the sandman s2. which frankly doesn’t mean much to me because it’s the continuation/resolution of the#story that matters the most and that’s not gonna happen no matter what#and don’t tell me ‘at least we could get the s2 script!’ frankly that might just make me feel worse#seeing what we could’ve/shoudlve had#how is that supposed to Not hurt?#anyway. im at work I need to stop
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do u think either charles or erik had trouble coming to terms with their love for one another?? like religious guilt, internalized homophobia, etc.
Many such cases really … not hard to imagine them dealin with that …
#snap chats#erik might depend tho. depends on when he realizes hes in love with charles#before going Full Magneto i can imagine SOME internalized guilt but post prob not#under the whole ‘why be ashamed of what i am in ANY regard’ and all that#charles def probably has a worse time dealing with feelings of guilt#tho thats just charles in general being in love with someone i fear fjOWDJAKS#i cant imagine gender has anything to do with it tho. just charles Being Charles#hang on im sitting here thinking about it now#i think charles and erik wouldnt DOUBT the love they have for each other just- again depending on what era of erik this is- may be hesitant#magneto erik reads more as Bitterly in love with charles do you know what i mean#like ‘i love you and its painful i love you because of how incompatible we are now’ type shit#charles got that tired divorced-but-still-in-love dad energy about him towards magneto#fuck i was supposed to talk about their First Feelings Of Love im so off topic djOAZJSJ#my brain refuses to think of them younger than their thirties im so sorry let me try again#yeah no i could see them both accept the fact they have feelinfs about each other but for one reason or another not act on it#esp if they were with gab at the time. Oops. its kinda awkward now#in THAT RESPECT THEN i can see charles feeling conflicted and a little guilty#ditto on eriks part if he acknowledges charles’ feelings for gab#but without gab in the picture? i could see charles making a move and not being so ashamed of himself#maybe. after some time together i do see charles making the first move#would erik reciprocate and admit his feelings in that moment ? maybe not. give him like. a day or two tho diOEDJSJ#i typed all that bullshit for nothing sorry i put the answer at rhe very bottom we know how i am at this point#see now i just imagine charles talking to erik about accepting his queerness and erik getting snooty#like No Erik Im Not Saying This So You’ll Date Me I’m Saying This So You Love Yourself or something to that tune#and charles is truthful in that hes all about helping others accept themselves. and thats exactly why erik falls harder in love with him 😔#and then they make out sloppy style the end
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Legit why are there so many Silco defenders. Are you all forgetting that he repeatedly tells Jinx that she can't ever trust anyone other than him because everyone else will inevitably betray her?? That's like. Manipulation and grooming 101.
#do I think he loved her? yeah! but that doesn't mean he's a good dad in any sense of the word#unpopular opinion but I think the knowledge that he was friends with her mom makes everything he does worse actually!#'oh he asked Powder where Vi was because he wanted to take care of them both 🥺' (actual thing I've seen people say)#um. are we forgetting that he just tried to kill Vi??#and the fact that he tightens his grip on his knife when he sees Powder#which (to me at least) implies that he was about to use it!#ALSO THE FACT THAT THE WRITERS AND ANIMATORS INTENTIONALLY PORTRAYED THEIR RELATIONSHIP AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE!!#IT HAS BEEN EXPLICITLY CONFIRMED THAT THEIR INTERACTIONS ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!#SILCO THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!#og fandom post tag#arcane#arcane silco#silco
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honestly Noragami deserves some kind of an award for being the most intense downward spiral of "it can't get any worse than THIS, right???" I've ever read. I haven't known peace since Kazuma did that stupid spell on Yukine and it's only gone downwards from there
#we're on the FINAL CHAPTER. like even if it is twice the length of an usual chapter it is still the LAST ONE.#and THINGS HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIGGIN WORSE.#isn't the final chapter supposed to WIND THINGS DOWN and DEAL THE FINAL BLOW TO THE VILLAIN and then be DEDICATED TO WHERE ARE THEY NOW#so WHY are we doing THIS then.#noragami liveblog#noragami spoilers#like 10000 times over the past 9 years i've made the ''adachitoka when i said i wanted X to happen i didn't mean it like THIS'' joke and it#just keeps. happening again. yatori meets again after half a decade and it's only so that she can be MURDERED IN FRONT OF HIM#WHILE HE IS SCREAMING AND BLAMING HIMSELF AND THINKING ABOUT SAKURA AND HOW HE GOT HER KILLED TOO#YUKINE WATCHED IT HAPPEN BUT COULD ONLY BARK IN PAIN#and not only that. the GODS ARE KILLING PEOPLE THE SHINKI ARE STINGING THEIR MASTERS LEFT AND RIGHT#I HATE THIS. THIS IS SO EVIL. I AM SO SAD.#anyway hiyori better be fake dead. this better not be happening. idc if her return is unrealistic i dont CARE she CANNOT DIE
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i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.
#it wouldn’t have to change any of the actual plot of the season. except MAYBE amy’s choice but even then i think amy’s choice would be the#one episode where they should be adults. if only for the half where they live in a village in that dream.#because that’s the kind of future that children would dream up. they live in a little cottage and nothing ever goes wrong and their best#friend visits them all the time even though they’ve grown up.#they aren’t actually adults there just children with an idea of what they should be as adults and acting accordingly#and it would still end the same way.#but idk its just. rory’s 2000 years waiting for amy inside the pandorica is already tragic. yes.#now imagine its a kid. a kid in a little roman soldier helmet who will never grow up. who will not leave his best friend.#he loves her and she’s more important than the whole universe and that sort of love is supposed to MEAN something in a fairy tale!#its supposed to melt the ice out of hearts and transform people from stone.#and what that love means here. is that he will have to wait 2000 years. a child and a box.#little rory and the amelia who followed the doctor’s letters to the pandorica. and she doesn’t recognize him again.#and amelia in the pandorica… 2000 years a child trapped in a small box waiting to be rescued.#s5 is already fucked for them but it could be worse. it could be so much worse.#and it would make the doctor choosing to take her place in the pandorica to save the universe later even better.#because who else but the doctor would put the fate of the universe on the shoulders of two children and realize much too late what a#monstrous thing he’d done. and still have to hope. have to hope. that amelia would remember him fondly enough to bring him back to reality.#the logistics of all of this would have been a pain lmao. child labor laws in acting and all that.#BUT. hypothetically. it would have slapped.#doctor who#amy pond#rory williams#<- also this entire time ive been referring to him in my head as rory pond so much that i fuckin. forgot his actual last name.#and then like if you want them to be adults in s6 or whatever you can just timeskip to them getting married and still have amelia remember#the doctor there. it would work. it would.#amelia pond au
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blame @seeking-elsewhither for this one. it's echo time and i'm having thoughts (tm)
#yeah it's more hfsw bad batcher time. this means suffering on the part of echo#...whose armor design i kind of hate but at the moment i haven't had time to give him a definitive design so we're stuck with this for now#star wars#margin doodles#hfsw#look at my guys#handprinted#okay but i am not going to lie. i have so many thoughts about echo. ESPECIALLY in hfsw#like. you were supposed to die. but you didn't. you were brought back and it was the most painful thing you've ever experienced#and you have to endure months on end of torture practicing the very black arts you were born to fight against#so that the monsters who saved your life can use your knowledge to kill your brothers#and the only thing keeping you from completely giving up is the memory of a supernova smile that grows fainter every day#and then you're finally rescued after an eternity of torment but something is wrong because the person who was supposed to rescue you...#isn't there#and he never will be again#and you'll never see his smile again#(but you could. you could you know. you have that power now. you could bring him back. if you really wanted.#but you could never. you would never forgive yourself for dredging him back up from his well-deserved rest for such a selfish reason.#you'd never forgive yourself for putting him through that pain and white-hot agony just because you miss him. so you don't.)#and you love your new brothers. really you do. and you love your little sister; you love her so much that your wrongly-beating heart aches#and you love what you do; even if it's terrifying and dangerous saving your brothers from a fate worse than death (and you would know)#but... there's a sour knot that throbs in your gut every time your vision snags on your skeleton hand or bony feet#and every time you look in the mirror and see the unnaturally glowing green crackles in your irises#you're not of this world anymore. and you're not sure you'll ever be okay with that.
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Ep 6!!!
#Biggest take away from the episode: @fandom Dazai can't be Atsushi's father figure if he himself says Atsushi's father figure is the–#headmaster check your facts#Second biggest take away from the episode: the worst thing the headmaster transmitted Atsushi ought to be the terrible haircut choices#Mmmmhhh I could spend another whole tag rant to talk about how much I dislike the writing of Lucy in this episode 😭😭😭#But I worry I'll start being perceived as someone who hates women if I do so I won't.#(But let me just say. I really really *really* despite the “what women [alien and mysterious beings] want is hard to understand and–#impossible to decipher and more often than not they will say the exact opposite of what they mean” stereotype.#Like I hate it to an intimate extent.)#I quite like Kyouka's backstory!! I feel like she's the most fleshed out female character with a compelling character arc and personality.#I really like her. Lucy and Atsushi working as make-do parents (very largerly intended. More like siblings who are dating but that sounds–#even worse) was very cute. And I appreciate how the events seemed to set off Atsushi's own reflection on parenthood.#The same doesn't happen in the manga since the chapters are placed in a different order.#Overall this is just an episode that when I was reading the manga for the first time solidified my understanding that me and b/sd have#RADICALLY different views on the world. But now that after three years and having long come to terms with it.#I suppose it's just something that's there.#Ususal notes about the animation just for talks. The lack of budget really shows this episode and in the second half in particular.#It's especially noticeable in backgrounds that are just... Not the stunning backgrounds that usually make b/sd's anime strong point.#So in turn the lack of details comes off as twice as evident as it normally would :/#The whole Atsushi / Tanizaki exchange at the start of the chapter until the headmaster's identity is revealed is completely devoid–#of host which has me just?? What happened here??? A track slowly building up tension is an almost automatic choice I'm just like.#What happened. If it was a deliberate choice it was a very bad one in my humble opinion#On a more positive note I really like whoever drew the characters “background appearence” this episode eheh#(you know‚ the more stylized one when they're not on close up)#And the drawings at the end of the episode daz/atsu twilight scene were good. Kyouka's flashback was also good.#That's it :)#random rambles#Oh yeah rip chapter 39 ss/kk scene ig :///
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me to me: i would like to buy one disability support item please
me: but you already have something like this
me: i know, but this is easier to use and will put less strain on my body
me: but you can just use the other one
me: the other one puts me off doing essential things bc of how daunting it is to use
me: but it’s a waste of money
me: it’ll improve my quality of life
me: but-
me: just buy the fucking thing
#today on ‘just buy the fucking thing’ im looking at freezers#bc i really need to stop putting off eating bc of how difficult it is to look through a chest freezer#and it genuinely does#it makes all my pain worse plus the exhaustion of standing and digging through it#so im looking at vertical freezers#also having a clear divide of this is mine and this isnt helps my anxiety so i dont eat something i wasnt supposed to#and i can keep better track of what i have again bc its all just my food#and its eofy sales everywhere so hopefully i can get a deal on one#but yeah bc we have a freezer and i could just keep using that my brain really doesnt like the thought of spending upto a grand on a new on#but theres a hundred reasons why i could use a vertical one so my brain can shove it#just bc the situation is manageable doesnt mean it cant be better#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#chronic illness#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#fibromyalgia#eds#dysautonomia
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Actually I think it's a bit unfair that I can't be an astrophysicist and a historian and a game developer and a marine biologist and an archaeologist and an author and a seamstress at the same time
#I think I have a quarter-life crisis /hj#like I want to make space discoveries but I also want to analyse ww2 battles and I want to-#study the behaviour of whales and I want to create fictional worlds and I want to sew costumes and and and#there's so much knowledge out there to be learned and things to try out how are you supposed to do this all in one lifetime?#when you're expected to start working a fulltime job and stay in that line for the rest of your life??#though my problem isn't necessarily that I don't wanna be doing that job - it's more that I don't *only* wanna be doing that job#I just wish I could just try different job fields and see what they're like for like 2-3 years before trying out something else#but since they're all so different I'd have to start from the bottom again every time which probably also means worse payment etc#and I just don't have the time for that because I'd also like to build a stable life and maybe have a family later on#plus some of these jobs are just don't pay very well to begin with#I swear if I was rich and didn't have to worry about regular income I'd probably just be a forever student and study a whole bunch of stuff#just because I want to#unless I win the lottery I'll probably just start working fulltime though once I hopefully finish my master's#however I've already been thinking about signing up for studying history afterwards regardless - just for fun without pressure#I love the topic and then I wouldn't have the pressure of *needing* to find a job in the field afterwards#bc it's hard to find something unless you go for the teacher (or maybe professor) route plus pay seems kinda meh either way#but we'll see#I don't even know what this post is supposed to be. like not really a vent but. still complaining? idk#I don't know how to tag this#selnia talks
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sitting in the breakroom eating a sandwich that i may not be allowed to eat with one (1) other dude sitting at the opposite end of the room. i cant wait for this job to be over with </3
#today kinda sucks man but at least the people ive had so far have been decent#i just wanna go home...... i get to do this again friday then next tues and wed 😭😭😭😭😭#at least the pay is decent. like it def could be worse but this is still pretty bad#and i so desperately want a sweet treat but i cannotttttt be spending money on myself rn. i might still get a treat.#theres 4/$1 gummies so i might get those.. or a caramel. idk yet#and the new coach kinda sucks like she was basically like 'is it ur first day or smth 🙄🙄' like girl yes it is..... tf..........#everyones supposed to be niceys here Why are you being mean to me 😭😭#i should see if shes working friday bc if so. sorry i cant work here anymore LOL#also the breakroom is hella mood lighting rn like.. girl wtf......#anyway. i wanna go home but i still have like 4 hrs left </3 wish me luck pls#talk tag
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