#today kinda sucks man but at least the people ive had so far have been decent

[possum-tooth]

sitting in the breakroom eating a sandwich that i may not be allowed to eat with one (1) other dude sitting at the opposite end of the room. i cant wait for this job to be over with </3

[vastdetailrichworld]

11-13-24

october was quite the month! carlo, morgan, and brandon came to visit. morgan announced she was pregnant, and mamaw just revealed today that the baby is a girl!! we were watching old vhs tapes and watched one of morgan as a baby, and mamaw casually said "i bet that's what her little girl could look like" :D

anyways, i went to my first football game at lucas oil stadium!! it was really cool. i had some delicious philly cheesesteak nachos. our team won!!!

we also went to connor prairie and had a lot of fun at the headless horseman festival! the hayride was cool but definately wouldve been cooler in the dark. i tried fried plantains for the first time and they were pretty good, at least with everything else in the bowl [rice, beef, beans, cilantro i think? i dont realy remember, some kind of leafy green]

mo came to town and we went to an orchard :] i was brave and ate apples right off the tree- normally im funny about those kinds of things.

earlier in the month i finaly got to go to one of tammy's halloween parties!! it was so cool, the decorations in the haunted woods walk was awesome

dad and i went to his cowerker's house [i dont really remember who] and had hotdogs, chilli, and smores. we sat around the campfire and then walked around the neighborhood looking at all the ufn halloween decorations!!

i stayed the night at kylee's house with will! we started an alien ttrpg but got too tired to finish, and will got sick and left early in the morning so we couldnt continue. we played jackbox and took pics at mounds, and got dinner at buffalo wild wings. man they have good cheese curds

halloween itself was pretty great, not many people came to mamaw's door so i had plenty of time to trick or treat :3 lots of people loved my anteater costume and i got a TON of candy!!

so far in november ive gone to the planetarium to watch cole give a presentation about terraforming mars in the future. it was really cool and i was bummed he didnt win most thought provoking but the votes were predetermined anyways which kinda sucks but ah well. afterwards we went to this brewery place and split some spinach artichoke dip and some wings. those wings were INCREDIBLE and i wanna go again. myla got an apple beer and i learned that i like beer, as i suspected i would. it tastes how it smells which is really comforting and nostalgic to me because it reminds me of bb. that hangout is definately gonna be a core memory

today, as i mentiond at the beginning of this post, i went to mamaw's house. i vaccuumed, we split a pear, and then watched some old vhs tapes. she told me about my dad's ex-wife who ive always been curious about but never bothered to ask in case it was a sensitive topic. it was also ash's birthday so we hung out in vrchat for a while :] ah! i also got my dream cec plush [14in '96 coach] and the raz and lilli plushies !!!

ive been working on ref sheets for thh buster's gang, i really hope i dont lose steam bc im really excited to remodel them, especially now that roblox supports rigged meshes iirc

ive also been working out more!! mom said people with low estrogen should lift weights for bone health but i want to anyways

[floralbfs]

so i think i was going to quit theatre anyway but like it still hurts that they didn't include me skjdjdbd

[grantyort]

Prelude IV: Relight

Post-Surgery: DAY ONE

[Sean sits in the hospital bed, legs crossed, staring into space when he hears a familiar voice.]

Joey: Sean, Sean Diaz? Well damn. I never thought I’d see your sorry ass again!

Sean: Geez Joey. Is that how you talk to all your patients?

Joey: Just the ones I like.

[Sean chuckles]

Joey: C’mere big man.

[Joey gives Sean a big bear hug]

Sean: How’ve you been Joey?

Joey: Can’t complain. These days, they got me up in hospice care. You’re probably the first person I’ve seen today that didn’t need their bedpans changed.

Sean: Sounds terrible.

Joey: It’s all not all bad. Lot of these folks have stories that you wouldn’t believe. One of my patients has lived through five wars and two depressions, tells me I’m a credit to my race.

Sean: Yeesh.

Joey: (shrugs) She means well. It’s almost flattering compared to some of the stuff I’ve heard. Been on this job almost ten years now, some people still treat me like I have no idea what I’m doing.  

Sean: That sucks Joey.

Joey: Yeah... Anyway, you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself. From what I heard, this procedure cost a small fortune. You must have friends in high places.

Sean: Yeah, something like that.

Joey: And no guard at the door this time. I assume everything got cleared up with the police? Not planning to make a break for it again are ya?

Sean: Nah, no daring escapes this time.

Joey: Good. I don’t think I’d survive another blow to the head.

Sean: Listen Joey I’m really sorry-

Joey: (laughs) Relax Sean! I’m just messing with you! It’s ancient history as far as I’m concerned. Say, did you ever end up finding that brother of yours?

Sean: Yeah. He’s actually coming to visit me tomorrow.

Joey: Can’t wait to meet him!

Sean: Famous last words.

Joey: So… what you been up to these days?

Sean: Mostly just cramming for the SATs, drawing, listening to music. Normal teenage shit.

Joey: That’s good to hear. I was worried about you man. You went AWOL after the hospital. I got police and Feds breathing down my neck for weeks. Then a month later, I hear about a couple of kids trying the border to Mexico on the news.

Sean: Sorry I never reached out. I just didn’t want to get you more involved than you already were-

Joey: You made the right call. They questioned me for hours. My apartment was filled with G-men, my girlfriend was freaked. I honestly thought she was going to dump my ass.

Sean: I’m really sorry Joey.

Joey: Don’t sweat it Sean, it was for a good cause. Besides, everything worked out in the end.

Sean: Yeah I noticed, how long have you been-

Joey: Almost a year now. We’re expecting our first baby in the summer.

Sean: Congratulations dude!

Joey: Thanks, but honestly, I’m kinda nervous, don’t think I’m ready to be a father.

Sean: You’ll be a great dad, Joey. You’re awesome at taking care of people.

Joey: You’re damn right. Speaking of which, we should probably take a look at that eye of yours.

[Joey takes off the bandage and gives Sean’s eye a thorough examination]

Joey: Well it looks a helluva lot better than the last time I saw it.

Sean: That’s good to hear. I wasn’t sure it would work.

Joey: Well it’s too early to say if your vision will fully recover. But at the very least you won’t have to walk around with a patch anymore.

Sean: Good. It’s hard enough finding a prom date let alone one that’s willing to go with a pirate.

Joey: Still with the pirate jokes huh? Hopefully, you’ll have to write some new material after this.

[Joey applies a new bandage on Sean’s eye]

Joey: And you’re all set. Now as much as I love our talks, I gotta make my rounds. Buzz me if you need me.

Sean: Later Joey.

Joey: See ya tomorrow Sean.

 [Joey leaves the room. Sean turns to look out the window. The door shoots open, and a small figure comes bursting in.]

Daniel: Sean! 

[He jumps onto the bed and into Sean’s arms]

Stephen: (out-of-breath) Sorry, I tried to stop him, but he outran me.

Sean: You okay Stephen?

Stephen: I am… just need a minute to catch my breath. The old ticker ain’t what it used to be- I need to sit down.

Daniel: Take it easy grandpa.

Sean: What are you doing here, enano? I wasn’t expecting you guys until tomorrow.

Daniel: I made grandpa book an earlier flight. I just couldn’t wait! 

[he hugs Sean again]

Sean: Haha easy. I just had surgery, remember?

Daniel: Oh right, s-sorry.

[There’s a brief flash, followed by a shutter click]

Sean: What’re you doing, gramps?

Stephen: Oh nothing, just commemorating the moment. Thanks to your brother, I finally got the hang of this newfangled smartphone camera.

Daniel (whispering): He had it stuck on selfie mode for days. Anyway, did it go? Is your eye…

Sean: I mean… it’s not 100% yet but I can sort of see again.

Daniel: T-that’s awesome! Can I see it?

Sean: Dude last time I showed you my eye, you almost cried. Besides, the doctors say I still need to keep the bandage on for a bit, while it heals.

Daniel: Right. That makes sense. Oooh this room looks cool. Do they have Netflix or a Playbox?

Sean: It’s a hospital, dude.

Daniel: Lame.

Sean: So catch me up. Did I miss anything interesting at home?

Daniel: Nah… Chris is still on that fishing trip with his dad so there’s no one to hang out with. Oh I almost forgot. He made you this card. Isn’t it awesome?

[Daniel gives Sean a hand-drawn “get-well-soon” card from Chris]

Sean: Yeah. It’s pretty cool. We can have Claire put it up when we get back.

Daniel: Grandma’s still in that feud with the lady from church.

Sean: Which one was that again?

Daniel: Agnes, the one who gives off major Lisbeth-vibes. She says grandma stole her casserole recipe for the church bake-sale. Lying bitch.

Stephen: Language!

Sean: Maybe one of us should try to smooth things over before it gets nasty.

Stephen: Hell hath no fury… lemme tell ya. I’ve been married to your grandmother long enough to know once that woman sets her mind on something… there’s no stopping her. Best to just let things run their course.

Sean: Claire can get a little… passionate sometimes. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen her lose her temper for real.

Stephen: There’s a fire in that woman. It’s part of the reason I married her. Just pray she never turns it on you. I hope I’ll never live to see that day, god willing.

[Sean notices Daniel circling the hospital bed, pressing his hand on various parts of the mattress]

Sean: (laughs) What are you doing, enano?

Daniel: Just trying to figure which side of the bed I want to sleep on tonight.

Sean: Dude. There’s no way this bed’s gonna fit both of us.

Daniel: The one in Mom’s trailer was way smaller!

Sean: Yeah well… you were a lot smaller back then.

Stephen: They have a nice area for visitors down the hall.

Daniel: But I want to stay with Sean!

Sean: I guess I could ask Joey to bring in a couch or something.

Daniel: Who’s Joey?

Sean: The nurse who took care of me after the accident. I told you about him, remember?

Daniel: Oh right! I can’t wait to meet him!

 DAY TWO

Joey: How are we doing today? Any headaches, dizziness, socket pain?

Sean: Nah it’s all good. Still getting used to having depth perception again. It’s kinda weird.

Joey: You’ll get used to it. Anything else to report?

Sean: Nothing major. I’ve just been having some really weird dreams.

Joey: We have a psychiatrist on-site if you need a professional to talk to.

Sean: Nah it’s alright, probably just the drugs messing with my brain.

Joey: Well your vitals look good. We’ll go over some basic tests. You know the drill.

(Sean covers his right eye and tries to read the chart. Joey then shines a light and asks him to follow along. Finally, he asks Sean to put the cap back on the pen.)

Joey: You passed with flying colors. The doctor will be in for a final exam tomorrow and then we can discharge you.

Sean: (sarcastically) Too bad, I was ready to become the first Mexican pirate to attend college. So much for being a trailblazer.

Joey: Good to see you haven’t lost that snarky-ass sense of humor.

Joey: Anyway, I’m taking my lunch now. Want me to get you anything from the cafeteria? Wait… don’t tell me. Chocolate pecan?

Sean: You know it.

Joey: I met your brother in the hall. Cute kid.

Sean: (deadpans) Give it a few days. Then see if you get a “second opinion.”

Joey: He does seem a little… “energetic”. But that’s normal for kids his age.

Sean: Yeah one minute I’m his favorite person in the world. The next, he’s off doing God knows what, and doesn’t want me “bossing him around”. You know how it is.

Joey: Can’t say I do. Grew up in a house with three older sisters. Guess I must have been the annoying one. Daniel’s lucky to have you looking out for him. Must be tough sometimes.

Sean: Oh you have no idea.

[Joey claps Sean’s shoulder, he feels a jolt shooting up his spine, everything goes white] 

(Sean sees a door marked: “Miranda A. Connolly, Hospital Director”)

Connolly: You’ve been a valuable asset to this hospital. Stellar feedback from all of your patients and attendings.

Joey: I sense a “but” coming.

Connolly: But, given the dubious circumstances surrounding your transfer and your past involvement with the law. The Board thinks it might be better for one of the other nurses to take this spot.

Joey: Please. I’ve got a kid on the way. We just bought our first house. Can you at least consider bumping up my pay? I haven’t gotten a real raise since I started here. There are kids coming out of nursing school that make what I make!

Connolly: The hospital has limited resources as it is, and the State just slashed our funding again. I just can’t justify raising anyone’s salary right now.

Joey: I break my back for this hospital, work extra shifts, get to know the patients. You promised me at the annual review that I’d-

Connolly: That was before this new information came to light. I’m sorry Joseph, maybe next year.

[Sean snaps out of his trance]

Joey: Sean? Sean are you okay?

Sean: Sorry, Guess I spaced out. Must just be the medication.

Joey: I can have the doctor come by and adjust your dosage.

Sean: I’m fine Joey. I swear. Weren’t you about to take lunch?

Joey: Oh right. We’ll pick this up later.

[Joey leaves the room, looking slightly puzzled.]

Sean: (thinking) W-what what was that? A dream? But It felt so… real.

[Sean takes out his phone and enters the name of the hospital, He finds their website. Under the ‘About’ section he scrolls to the Executive team bio. There is a photo of the woman he saw in the vision followed by a small blurb]

“Miranda A. Connolly is the President and Chief Director of Mt. Cedar General Hospital. She was appointed back in 2016 as Associate Director and has since made ground-breaking changes to the field of medicine and medical care. Under her leadership, this hospital was able to expand greatly, hiring new diverse staff members and vastly improving quality of care for all its patients.”

Sean: (thinking) Holy shit… it’s real. Does that mean I…?

Daniel: Hey Sean! What you looking at?

Sean: Dude! Don’t sneak up on me like that!

Daniel: I wasn’t sneaking. I was practicing my stealth!

Sean: Yeah sure.

Daniel: Are you looking at the new Playbox Pro? My birthday is right around the corner you know.

Sean: Birthday? It’s still January!

Daniel: Never too early to start preparing.

Sean: (rolling eyes) Yeah cuz everything’s always about you.

Daniel: Oooh I bet you were watching those dirty videos again. I’m tellin’ grandpa!

Sean: Hey hands off my phone you little-

[Daniel tries to grab Sean’s phone. Sean wrests his hand away. There is another a jolt]

[Daniel stands in front of the vending machine, staring at the jumbo chock-o-crisp. He looks around to check that the coast is clear. Then he waves his hand causing the chock-o-crisp to fall off the rack and into the dispenser slot.He gleefully retrieves it and devours the candy bar in a matter of seconds]

Sean: Dude, I told you not to eat any more chock-o-crisps! Do you want another trip to the dentist?

Daniel: What are you talking about? I haven’t had one in weeks!

Sean: Yeah sure. So you didn’t pig out at the vending machine before coming in here?

Daniel: How did you-

Sean: Maybe I have magic powers or maybe… you’ve still got crumbs on your collar.

Daniel: Aw, damn it. Promise you won’t tell grandpa.

Sean: Oh so you can tell on me but I can’t tell on you?

Daniel: (smugly) Exactly.

Sean: C’mere ya little shit!

Daniel: Sean stop! Ha that tickles. Quit it!

(After their little bout, Daniel curls up next to Sean, resting his head on Sean’s lap. Sean ruffles Daniel’s hair absentmindedly)

Sean: You ever wish you were… you know “normal” again?

Daniel: You mean not have my powers? Nah. They’re a part of me now. Besides, being normal is overrated.

Sean: (chuckles) I guess it is. But do you ever get that feeling like you thought you wanted something for a really long time but when you finally get it, it nothing like you thought it’d be?

Daniel: Uhhh… you mean like how I begged grandma to get me a PlayBox Live Subscription, but then the exclusives turned out to be shit? And now I have to act like I love it?

Sean: Yeah something like that.

Daniel: (yawns) Meh I’ll just ask for a gaming PC for my birthday.

Sean: Dude you’re like the greediest ten year-old I know.

Daniel: How many ten year-olds do you know?

Sean: Uh… just you and Chris.

Daniel: So, you want me to be more like Chris?

Sean: Wouldn’t hurt.

Daniel: (imitating Chris) “Only the purest of hearts may wield the power of Captain Spirit!”

Sean: Guess that rules you out.

Daniel: (playfully) Shut up.

DAY THREE

Doctor: Okay Mr.Diaz. I want you to follow the light. Look to your right, up and to the right. Good, good, excellent pupil response.  Now look at the chart, cover your right eye and read this line.

Sean: Uh… A, O, E, P… T? Sorry I can’t really make out the last one.

Doctor: That’s okay, it takes time.

Doctor: Now this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but I recommend that you wear a patch over your right eye. It’ll be temporary of course, just until you learn to see with your left eye again.

Sean: (laughs dryly) And here I thought my seafaring days were behind me.

Doctor: You know… pirate actually wore patches so their eyes could easily adjust to the darkness and see below deck- Sorry my son’s going through a pirate phase.

Sean: I know the feeling. My little brother’s been through every phase imaginable.

Doctor: Kids, you gotta treasure every moment. Because before you know it, they’ll be all grown up, ready to go off on their own. Look at me, rambling on. Anyway, I signed your discharged papers. They’ll schedule you for some outpatient care in the coming months.You’re almost ready to go. 

Sean: Sounds good.

Doctor: And you’re sure you don’t want to get do something about that nasty scar? A good-looking kid like you, it would be a shame to-

Sean: That’s okay, I think I’ll keep it… as a reminder.

Doctor: Alright but if you ever change your mind, I could refer you to a great plastic surgeon.

Sean: Thanks Doc, for everything.

Doctor: The pleasure’s all mine, Mr.Diaz. The groundwork we laid here could help hundreds of other patients in the future. We are making history. Your nurse should be along in a moment to help you get discharged.

[Sean sits in quiet contemplation. Reflecting on his dreams and new “vision”]

Sean (thinking): Be careful what you wish for... 

Joey: Looks like everything’s good to go. Remember to use your eye-drops-

Sean: Twice a day. Yeah Joey, I know.

Joey: Guess it’s goodbye again. Don’t be a stranger this time okay?

Sean: I won’t.

Joey: Here’s my number. Call me if ever need professional advice or just want to shoot the shit.

Sean: Thanks Joey. Let me know how everything goes with the baby.

Joey: Oh don’t you worry about that. Soon I’ll be blowing up your phone with pictures.

Sean: Haha can’t wait.

Joey: Now hospital policy says I gotta wheel your ass outta here. For liability reasons.

Sean: At least it’ll be a smoother exit than last time.

Joey: (laughs) Get in the chair smart-ass.

Beaver Creek, One Week Later

Sean: Okay, you ready?

Daniel: (takes deep breath) Alright. Show it to me.

Sean: So… how does it look?

Daniel: Looks… normal.

Sean: You almost sound disappointed. Were you expecting a bionic eye or something?

Daniel: No. I just… it looks good. I like the scar; makes you look extra tough.

Sean: You think so?

Daniel: Yeah… totally badass!

Sean: Thanks, enano.

Daniel: You need a new codename, like Scarred Wolf or Deadshot Diaz!

Sean: Let’s leave the nicknames up to Chris.

Daniel: Hey! I make up awesome names too!

Sean: Whatever you say,“Superwolf”

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: now what? / 2.2.21

LAST TIME ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS: we kicked the shit out of a witch, a murdercow, and a tree, and nearly got murdered by a broom! also i exploded the tree, which was pretty fucking poggers. we also did have to hold taure down to feed her some healing elixirs but yknow

silje, meanwhile, was spaced the fuck out the entire time (bc of being a dmpc last time) and has no idea what just happened or that he commited gratiutous amounts of tree violence.

And Then We Slept For 24 Hours (we didnt)

thorne rolled a nat20 on drawing the tree blight on fire! which is EXTREMELY COOL. im glad we have a memorial of the coolest thing ive done on arvus so far (and also hopefully the fire wont spread bc it would suck if we set all of arvus on fire) oh nvm we're in a swamp so we good. hard to set things on fire in a swamp.

i swear im paying attention but green is talking about dreamout in 772 rn and has some very interesting theories about how the eggpire plot would go down so i am just. side-eyeing it. i am Looking. i swear im paying attention.

oh man i havent collected my notes from last session bc i was liveblogging in discord for nyx's benefit. that's gonna be interesting to compile.* i wonder if i should put these in gdocs instead of wordpad lmao (wait no i use wordpad bc its easier to just pop open and have layered over discord / roll20) * [ AND THEN I DIDNT DO THAT FOR LIKE 2 MONTHS ]

michael: ...burn the house down charlie: ~ we're gonna burn the whole house down! ~ thorne: [confused] how do you know that song? we dont have any bards charlie: [buffering] ...BITCH I MIGHT BE

what if i took a level in bard, would that be fucked up or what

tiny hut tiny hut tiny hut tiny hut. TINY HURT (sieron casted Leomund's Tiny Hut bc we burnt down the only nearby shelter)

lots of discussion about the hut. hut talk

thorne: sieron, why havent we been doing this? charlie: great question! hey sieron, what the fuck? sieron: i guess i just havent thought about it? charlie: you're lucky you're cute >:/ sieron: AA??

discussion of sieron's alter appearance and how its probably somewhat awkward bc thorne is just. openly a horc. unfortunately, sieron's hometown is super racist

HELLO I HAVE BEEN DISTRACTED BC RUBY DID A PANEL REDRAW FROM ASP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA aa a a a a a

time for taure and thorne to chat on watch! frenship taure hasnt noticed her hair colour bc shes been busy doin stuff, like killin people taure misunderstands thorne asking abt her hair and thinks he has a tragic backstory of being a hairdresser before becoming a warlock DOES TAURE KNOW WHAT THE FEYWILD IS yes she does! war of the veils was a thing, where the feywild invaded the material plane and honestly i should read all the worldbuilding again bc its been forever but i thought all that was neat

oh shit thorne called taure a uhhhh eladrin? OH BOY TAURE ROLLED A 1 we're on the same page here TIME FOR THORNE INFODUMP eladrin are feywild elves! as in closely related to the fey, as well as living in the feywild. their hair changes with the seasons, like taure's does :O !! taure and thorne have not had a fucking one on one conversation before

thorne: taure. taure: yes, hello that is me i am taure [..] taure: now, counterpoint, the sun makes hair change colour-- thorne: Taure.

thorne is trying so hard i love they everyone else is sleeping through this convo so theyre spared the awkwardness but ooc we are having a great time :o eladrin hair colour changing stuff related to mood / seasons / powers?? thorne is admittedly confused bc Weird Documentation but this is really neat to hear about taure, meanwhile, has no idea why this is important.

thorne: if i had told you this, and you had-- transcended-- into your next phase-- id be very concerned taure: hold on [loud grunting] okay no

why havent we been doing tiny hut this whole time. sieron.

oh right taure has a tragic backstory and her mom ditched her as a babby. MEANWHILE, THORNE DOESNT EVEN HAVE PARENTS michael: there are two types of people in the world: those who're kidnapped as infants, and those that kidnap infants WAIT IS THIS LIKE, THE FIRST TIME ANYONES HEARD ABT THORNE'S BACKSTORY BESIDES "LIVED IN THE FEYWILD" thorne is very chill about it though. god i love thorne. i love the entire party

thorne: ...after the third or fourth prophetic vision, they all sorta blur together.

god i wish id written down more about the magical mystical adventure OH. THE ORACLE FORESHADOWED THE ELADRIN THING. NEAT thorne: oh, the oracle! is that the guy with the, uh... [snaps fingers] the gryphon fart orb?

IREL IS HERE YAY IREL i have forgotten how to spell their name. how about i split the difference and spell it Yirel. michael is rolling to see if thorne and taure woke yirel up-- OH OKAY yirel just. sleeps for fun. god i wish that were me

charlie's hair can hold many small pets of dubious sapience.

I LOVE YIREL,,, thorne is just pleasantly confused. WAIT IS YIREL PURRING yirel: you are confused by that action! :D taure: ...yes. what were you doing? yirel: i was performing magic! i can now detect your minds! i can hear your thoughts. :D OKAY SO YIREL WAS. NOT PURRING. yirel has cast Detect Thoughts on thorne. thorne's train of thought is now "???"

we need to teach the snake consent. we have now taught the snake consent.

YIREL IS GOING TO VERY POLITELY ASK THE BIG BAD IF HE CAN READ THEIR MIND its okay i love them. thorne is SO CONFUSED yirel is attempting to be helpful YIREL LITERALLY DISCOVERED THEY COULD CAST DETECT THOUGHTS SO THEY CASTED DETECT THOUGHTS. thorne is hoping yirel wont learn to cast fireball on themself. yirel: there's two timelines where that could happen. i will do my best to avoid them! :D

okay its really hard to get across in text but yirel is basically just. permanently happy/excited sounding. like a puppy! or like the ":D" face in winged snake form.

ooh, a celestial serpent location! off in the mistwall mountains. they are Extremely Dead but yirel told thorne+taure where it is on the map and said we can learn stuff abt time! and then went to sleep. goodnight yirel. i will kill for you

S. S. BIG BOAT (it is 60 miles across. big boat. thank you jorb)

WHAT IS WRONG WITH JORB'S CAMERA, WHY DOES IT KEEP ZOOMING IIIIIIIIIIN

it rained overnight so all the water that collected on the tiny hut got dumped on everyone, and THEN silje shook off like a dog and charlie is MISERABLE

SILJE GOT A NAT20 FORAGING the survival squad are gonna get the fuckin best breakfast ever

oh yea the poison / disease was stored in the tree blight! so now that we've incinerated it it's all good. still gonna take time for the whole river to clear, but with the source of it gone we should be golden. fuck yea

oh man today was hourly comics day, wasnt it. or was it feb 1? fuck shit damn uhhhhh i have done. nothing. besides work on the PMV, talk about dreamout, and now play d&d. this is unrelated to everything im just Thonkin

TIME FOR SWAMP FACTS solar knows So Much about swamps. time to discuss cattails (please no) these are cattails............. ME WANT BITE. ME WANT PLANT CORN DOG DELIGHT. ME WANT DEEP FRIED. ME THINK WATER TWINKIE NICE

oh shit thorne has spotted a ufo. yuufo time OMINOUS YUUFO silje, with an armful of frogs and a lizard in his mouth: [looks up] mrrp? poor silje cant see for shit. NEITHER CAN THORNE its either very small and close, or very big and far away

HRM. actually this MIGHT be related to the vision bc the ominous yuufo was heart-shaped, and the vision was of a necromancer on a floating bloody platform raising all kinds of undead

its been forever and i didnt take a lot of notes on the mini-session but the last time we saw the oracle was a cave on theral! so, unrelated to the place yirel marked on the map. which michael marked down as "seat of the oracle"!

TAURE THINK OF THE CHILDREN THAT WE DONT HAVE (we have yirel!) TAURE THINK OF THE CHILD THAT WE HAVE

ahoyhoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i wanna go to ahoyhoy. we are not currently going to ahoyhoy but maybe some day

i had to stop paying attention because buttons wanted to see my Horrible Streaming Setup and apparently something terrible has happened. also honse

we are potentially dealing with a salad katamari.

thorne: could that be what the object in the sky is? silje: ...a lettuce?

we have voted to ignore the salad katamari for now. this action will have consequences.

charlie and silje take watch! charlie wants to know what silje's deal is! silje is a monster hunter. charlie misses bein a thief ): SILJE WAS A MONSTER HUNTER SINCE HE WAS 12?? charlie realizes that perhaps becoming an adventurer and doing a huge amount of murder on a regular basis, especially as a child, is Maybe Not Great silje likes books! charlie offers to lend him her books :D charlie, quietly: i am totally doing the friendship thing so good. RATS RATS RATS RATS hehe rats.

uh oh, nyx has died. NVM NYX IS OKAY nyx's power has not gone out again

we've been on arvus for 13 days! neat.

OH SHIT FLOATING ISLAND its also shaped weirdly like a heart. YEP IT LOOKS LIKE ITS BLEEDING probably bc of clay or iron oxide in the dirt but still that looks ominous as hell SIERON'S A SMART BOY he rolled 20+ on the 3 rolls he had to do, fuck yeah. this fucked up island is an Earth Mote! which are lil sky islands. or like, just general dirt chunks thatre in the sky. theyre either natural events or wizards showing off! also they usually move, but this one is just kinda... tethered. not like Literally but its locked in place. this is apparently the "Heart of Arvus"! which is . at the heart of arvus. or at least the centre of the continent.

solar: leo, we've found the ruins of mumbo jumbo's base. leo: [leans over and thwaps solar on the leg w nerf sword]

penn: i swear to god, if i look out my window and i dont see jorb in the sky, im going to be disappointed that hes not doing his job. jorb: slowly rotating.

we are now thinking about how to get up on the rock. TINY HUT STAIRCASE solar: could i featherfall the wrong way? wand of wonder / wild magic surge! NOPE mage hand! charlie is 41 pounds. mage hand is 5 pounds limit. korred rope! we have enough rope to tie together and tie to the korred rope, BUT the korred rope cannot fly. OH THE ROCK IS INHABITED there's an elf!

sieron & taure: [worried about the necromancy] charlie: HOWDY~!

[party arguing about who's gonna go up bc not all of us can fit up there] [leo and solar start swordfighting in the background]

sent kaepora through the portal to the heart of arvus aaaaaand end of session! CLIFFHANGEERRRRRRR

michael: DID YOU FUCK MY MOM, DUNGEONMASTER?

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: how much you got on you rn Ronnie: enough for me Ronnie: you aint piggybacking Joe: enough for me then Joe: not suggesting you send it first class Joe: 'less you know how to do that Ronnie: I do but in what world mckenna Joe: however much you reckon you'd need to do it Joe: i'll double it Ronnie: use that ingenuity for your own score Joe: yeah whatever Joe: all chat Ronnie: like ive got anything to prove to you Ronnie: least of all how well i can be your bitch when you holler at me Ronnie: cry is more accurate Joe: fuck sake Joe: forget about it Joe: it's a stupid idea Joe: you gonna give me a better one Ronnie: not one for the scrapbook was it cunt Ronnie: dry your eyes & do your own running Ronnie: you need me to hold your hand everytime now Ronnie: big enough to take it go find it Joe: ha ha Joe: like I'm running anywhere Ronnie: this where we play doctor yeah Ronnie: you tell me how bad it hurts & I make it better for you Joe: exactly Joe: now we're on the same page Ronnie: nah you think you can tear out some pages & spit ball em at me to get my attention but why should I give a shit bout these playground games boy just 'cause you heading back home to your mammy Ronnie: im sound Ronnie: dont care how loud you're crying she's the one who's gotta show up for that Joe: i don't want yor attention Joe: i want some heroin Ronnie: maybe she's still got old school connections Ronnie: find her little black book son Joe: maybe Joe: one of you could be useful like Ronnie: wounded & bleeding Ronnie: shit junkie you are house full of people to shake up & shit to steal but you coming to me Joe: just looking for that big sisterly advice Joe: obviously Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you sound like the littlest one what is he 4 like Joe: feel it Ronnie: trying to make my heart bleed now yeah Ronnie: grow a fucking pair before it really hurts Joe: if you wanted to scare me you shouldn't have given me the gear Joe: realistically too late anyway but who wants to hear or think about my idyllic childhood yeah Ronnie: if you couldnt hack it you shouldve cried off then Ronnie: save the tears now Joe: and i thought i was the only one with obsessive thought spirals Joe: when i get some i'll remember to feel good about how much you miss me Ronnie: like youre special baby Ronnie: please Ronnie: weve all got mad minds hows that not clicked in yours Ronnie: how many kids shes squeezed out & you reckon were the only self medicating Ronnie: hit up another sibling to fix you Joe: am though Joe: she's always told me Joe: ⭐ boy Ronnie: talk her up with that foreplay Ronnie: be good for £££s Joe: no tah Joe: not my type Joe: and it's only ever worked on you Joe: but you've given me another idea so cheers Ronnie: i dunno whats funnier that youre trying to tell me you dont wanna slip your mum one or you reckon you know what works on me Joe: lemme know when you work it out Joe: 👍 Ronnie: let me know when youve stopped playing happy families Joe: you reckon i wanna be here Ronnie: didnt see no fingernail marks on my floor or walls Ronnie: still reckon you were dragged though yeah Joe: check your thighs Joe: ain't all perks being the favourite 💔 Ronnie: [sends him pics cos that bitch haha] Ronnie: grow a pair whipping boy Ronnie: before she says jump youre on the ledge Ronnie: its pathetic mckenna Joe: see Joe: ain't been that long Joe: only feels it, babe Ronnie: you'll need all that sweet talk for the local dope dealer Ronnie: but if you wanna think of me when you're turning tricks for them it'll go easier Joe: lovely as that'd be Joe: not in progressive london now Joe: gonna have to pay like the rest, worst luck Ronnie: go beg for your pocket money then kidda Ronnie: before she picks a new fave Ronnie: younger & prettier like Joe: nah Joe: we want her to Joe: remember Joe: then me and more importantly my student loans can come back Ronnie: bullshit if you wanted her to you wouldn't have gone Ronnie: you love it Joe: can't just go way uni and never come back Joe: send out a search party Ronnie: use your ⭐ as a beacon cant they Joe: let's hope not Joe: i come here Joe: keeps 'em away rest of the time Joe: yeah Ronnie: if you want em to fuck off commit to it Ronnie: stop being such a pussy Joe: ain't that easy Ronnie: find a ditch to lie down in Ronnie: it ain't hard Ronnie: youre a junkie motherfuckers don't support that Joe: far as they know Joe: i ain't Joe: let 'em catch up Ronnie: do it yourself if you wanna slam the door Joe: see how this goes Joe: not really thinking about them right now Joe: you know Ronnie: youre on one about that lot constantly Joe: just on one constantly full stop Joe: why else would i need the shit Ronnie: dont need to go that hard playing doctor baby Joe: 💘 Joe: you always know just what to say Ronnie: not used to you talking Joe: i know i know Joe: in an ideal world neither of us would be here Ronnie: like not born yeah Ronnie: but she cant keep her legs closed Joe: such a dreamer, you Ronnie: not the one who cant get high without their hand held Joe: n'awh Joe: that's the dream Joe: so romantic too Ronnie: yeah im living it loads of gear close & you far as Ronnie: greedy prick Joe: miss you too baby Joe: in a bit tho, gotta go pick up Ronnie: fuck off soft lad Ronnie: you miss me spoon feeding you Ronnie: you cant talk to me with a dealers cock in your mouth I know Ronnie: multitasking hard enough pretending not to be junkie scum yeah Joe: sure the whole mummy kink ain't your thing Joe: i'll try and get involved but kinda a mood killer Joe: which is kinda rude, know you don't want me to score Ronnie: thats all yours but I'll try anything once Ronnie: 'cause a whinging dope sick baby is really a turn on for me like Ronnie: just gotta keep that going Joe: no judgment here Joe: gotta do what you gotta do Ronnie: you gotta Ronnie: im sound Joe: and i'm happy for you Ronnie: lie to them don't lie to me Joe: alright Joe: will be a bit when I get mine but still Joe: you don't have to be here so Ronnie: you dont Ronnie: grow up & cut the fucking apron strings Joe: you've stopped being helpful for the day? Joe: right then Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: not flying over to fuck you cos your ma aint in the mood & thats as helpful as it gets Joe: why not Ronnie: youve got another sister Ronnie: see if shes into it Joe: but you're so special yeah Ronnie: but shes a good grooming age Joe: leave it out Ronnie: or what Joe: or what Ronnie: asked you first joseph Joe: alright veronica Ronnie: alright weak cunt Joe: probably Ronnie: pick up before you make me sick Ronnie: jesus Joe: waiting on the man Joe: as per Ronnie: if id known rattling had made you shit out your whole spine id have sucked his dick for you & sped things along Joe: so sweet Joe: one of the many things I like about you Ronnie: list just gets longer the longer youre away yeah Ronnie: dont come back & maybe you'll fall in love Joe: i know you want that less than you want me back Joe: don't lie Ronnie: you care what I want now Ronnie: 💘 Joe: only when it benefits me too, darling Joe: junkie scum 101 Joe: was on my timetable like Ronnie: theyve really done a number on you if youre on your knees for my truth Joe: who Joe: mummy dearest or my school Ronnie: take your pick Joe: ain't tryna hide it Joe: just doing my bit to be the whiny baby you want rn Ronnie: cheers then Ronnie: nailed that Ronnie: tell your ma i finally get how she feels 'cause its too late to get you scraped out Joe: 😂 Joe: on it Joe: assuming i ain't 'bout to get kneecapped Joe: or worse Joe: stood up 💔 Ronnie: i'll cross my fingers for raped & robbed Ronnie: standard Joe: you know i ain't gonna have that much of a good time without you 💘 Ronnie: stop trying to make me say I hate you so you can rub one out Ronnie: i dont do sexting Joe: worth a shot Joe: just killing time here Joe: trying not to puke Ronnie: hot Joe: mhmm Joe: like that attempt at enthusiasm Ronnie: you really know how to make a girl wet what can I say Ronnie: gotta romance my dealer out of want instead of need now Joe: thought I'd return the favour Joe: just how I roll Ronnie: course you do golden boy Joe: you ain't that mad about it Joe: i know Ronnie: i aint as fucking thick as you so again course Joe: true Joe: [time for drew to show and not deliver] Ronnie: made up about all these compliments Ronnie: who knew you could be this much on my tits from this distance Joe: just that good Joe: obviously Ronnie: you aint shit Ronnie: don't lie Joe: whatever Joe: can't touch me now Ronnie: only your ma is turned on at the sight of you Ronnie: but she will Joe: alright Joe: cba rn Ronnie: how are you still crying Ronnie: did he not show Joe: he did Joe: but he was about 12 and had no gear Joe: got enough tranqs to knock out an elephant but still Ronnie: when i told you to hit up your siblings i meant the freckled one not one of the toddlers Joe: yeah right Joe: like he knows a great smack dealer, even if we did talk Ronnie: hes a coke head Ronnie: give him 5 Joe: nah Joe: opposite direction Joe: only way is up Ronnie: whatever just get on a plane Joe: yeah Joe: i'm gonna Joe: fuck this Ronnie: ill be waiting with shit that aint a fucking joke Ronnie: you can owe me Joe: yeah? Joe: good Ronnie: don't talk me out of it Ronnie: christ you're annoying Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: only want you back on your feet so I can kick em out from under you myself Joe: hot Ronnie: like you said, it ain't been that long Ronnie: you know I am Joe: yeah Joe: where was this distraction when I really really needed it tho Ronnie: baby when have I ever been good for you Ronnie: selfish to my core Ronnie: we're here for me Joe: works for me Ronnie: just get to the airport & stop fannying about Joe: I've already taken 'em so hold on Joe: no packing now never mind going through customs Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: i had to Ronnie: when then Joe: still today Joe: just later Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: call me Ronnie: maybe i'll answer if it ain't too late Joe: can i call you now too Joe: i gotta stay awake Ronnie: I'm good but no guarantees I'm that good Joe: they ain't kicked in that good yet either Joe: just keep my eyes on the road yeah Ronnie: how much did you pay for baby aspirin mckenna Joe: was cheap as fuck at least Joe: just a kid Joe: barely broke a 50 for all of these so Joe: [photo] Ronnie: not as green as you feel yeah Joe: want me to bring some back Ronnie: too late to rob the boy now Ronnie: & you'll take em yourself before you see me I know you Joe: yeah Joe: i will Joe: but had good intentions, babe Ronnie: take em to church Ronnie: what use is that shit to me Ronnie: gimme bad ideas or don't come around Joe: got plenty of those come on Ronnie: like what Ronnie: come on Joe: what Joe: tryna focus here Ronnie: you wanna stay awake Ronnie: play the game Joe: alright Joe: yeah Joe: you gonna come back to mine Joe: flatmate's gone home Ronnie: are you gonna make it worth it if she's not there to kick in the teeth Joe: won't need to miss her once I'm back Ronnie: fucked her yet? Ronnie: we could do it together Ronnie: I dont normally slip one to virgins but I already made the exception for you Joe: no and funny Joe: keep me as the only exception Joe: how else will i feel special Ronnie: keep hitting up preteen dealers that'll help Joe: he was pretty Ronnie: if im ever in the area like Joe: i wish Ronnie: you & your ma both Ronnie: my turn to feel special Joe: weird ain't it Ronnie: for me Ronnie: you love it Joe: nah Ronnie: not a question Ronnie: you do Joe: don't Ronnie: liar Joe: maybe from you Joe: I'll allow it Ronnie: those pills better be kicking in Ronnie: if youre chatting this much shit sober you can stay in ireland Joe: 😂 Joe: they are Ronnie: book a flight Ronnie: i ain't your ma im not doing it Joe: lemme get home, like Joe: be more obvious you're tryna kill me Ronnie: what im trying to do Ronnie: you gonna call that your home now Joe: you know what i mean Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: i know youre full of shit, mckenna Joe: nah Joe: just bars Joe: make it up to you Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: x it as many times as fits Joe: k Joe: prove it when i see you Ronnie: you reckon Joe: not a question Ronnie: nah just bold claims for someone who still fucks like a virgin & has to check in with his ma Ronnie: can you without her permission Joe: get the slip signed if you're so worried Joe: chill out Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: couple of chewable vitamins & you're chill yeah Joe: you said you got loads Ronnie: I said enough Ronnie: & that was before babysitting you Ronnie: you make me need to spike every vein Joe: need Joe: want Joe: same diff we both know it Ronnie: not trying to make it matter baby Ronnie: put any words in my mouth you want Ronnie: or need Joe: here Joe: wish me luck on telling 'em i'm off Joe: or don't Ronnie: i'll do it for you Ronnie: point me at the relevant mckennas Joe: even stoned Joe: know that ain't a good idea Ronnie: pussy Joe: love u 2 Ronnie: 💋 Joe: [suitable amount of hours for the shit to wear off to a manageable level, avoid the parents and get out on the sly] Joe: [airport photo] Joe: tada Ronnie: we reckoned you'd bottled it Joe: taken a poll like Ronnie: yeah know you like to feel special Joe: warms my cold dead 💘 Joe: honest Ronnie: walk your corpse to me then Joe: and she says she don't sext Ronnie: you wanna be the only exception so bad or what Joe: you know how bad i want it Ronnie: dont leave again & maybe I'll buy it Joe: being dopesick was almost a nice distraction from thinking about you Ronnie: that warms my 🖤 Joe: thought so Joe: nothing does it quite like me being near-death yeah Ronnie: i do like you pathetic Ronnie: but don't think that any of it comes close to me yeah Joe: you saying you're better than heroin Ronnie: im saying you think you were hurting earlier Ronnie: ill show you pain Ronnie: all you have to do is fuck off again Joe: i won't Joe: i need to be there Joe: with you Ronnie: leave me & I will fucking break you Ronnie: i mean it Joe: i know Joe: i'm not gonna Ronnie: how did you get out Joe: parents weren't in but i said a uni friend was in a car accident and they couldn't get hold of his parents Joe: going hell anyway Joe: and someone on my course was hit by a car so if any of them are that concerned to go snooping Ronnie: thats beautiful Ronnie: you're not as much of a useless waster as youve sounded for most of the day like Joe: steady Joe: was almost not an insult Ronnie: who isn't turned on by a good lie Joe: only when I lie to you Joe: got it Ronnie: don't you fucking dare lie to me Joe: couldn't if i wanted to Ronnie: think about what kind of welcome back you want Ronnie: 'cause I can be nice or not nice Ronnie: its on you & what you say to me Joe: baby Joe: already told you I basically missed you more than heroin, how nice can one boy be Ronnie: you wont be saying that when I hand the gear over Joe: yeah i will Joe: been on you longer Ronnie: its fucking good though Joe: yeah Joe: ain't gonna say otherwise Ronnie: paid more & got better so you won't wanna leave Ronnie: dont have to rely on pretty preteens around here Joe: you know i didn't wanna leave in the first place Ronnie: i know you keep saying it like it makes a difference Joe: tell me what will and i'll do it Ronnie: i'll burn your passport that will Joe: burn my passport Joe: that's what you want? Ronnie: what do you have to go running to them for Ronnie: that's what I wanna know Ronnie: what the fuck is there for you Ronnie: cant even get a fix Joe: nothing, never has been Joe: it's obligation though Joe: you get it, i know you've done some shit just 'cos charlie wants to Joe: or 'cos bronson need it Ronnie: that's different Joe: why Ronnie: I ain't going round bullshitting how much i hate 'em on the one breath & in the other dropping everything for the pair of 'em Ronnie: ride or die is that Joe: okay so it is different Joe: it's more complicated Ronnie: fuck complicated its black & white Joe: nah like Joe: whatever i reckon about them Joe: i still owe 'em Joe: for now Joe: debts to pay like Ronnie: how ain't it been paid Ronnie: they ain't done you right since you were a kid Ronnie: if ever Ronnie: a roof & food that's easily totalled Joe: i dunno Joe: shit ton of interest Joe: learnt from the best debt collectors in liverpool, like Ronnie: write it off Ronnie: is when youre dead Joe: tell 'em that's my payment plan Ronnie: talking it out is your first mistake Ronnie: when the fuck has that worked on anyone who comes to collect Ronnie: dont even buy you time just makes you look a doss cunt more than you are Joe: maybe i can convince my da but you know she's biased Joe: all i have to do is get uni done and they can tick it off as a success Ronnie: i dont know jack about her Ronnie: how i want it Ronnie: if i aint read it off a file as a kid i don't need to hear it Joe: yeah Joe: but i ain't telling you i'm golden boy 'cos it seems cool am i Joe: whatever i'm gone now Ronnie: you're telling me 'cause you wanna trade wounds since I won't have your stories off you Ronnie: burn it into your arm deeper & maybe I'll pay attention Joe: you know it ain't about you, babe Joe: anyway, if we were still being nice I'd tell you none of the usual shit works to get you outta my head so thanks for that one Ronnie: ive been saying all day it's about her & I ain't competing with your fucking ma alright Ronnie: she smothered you poor baby Ronnie: you wanna try neglect its real easy Ronnie: feels better too Joe: you're the one who keeps bringing her up, yeah Joe: you want me to be that cunt Joe: easy Joe: I bet it was better, lucky you Ronnie: youre the one who ran home to have her tuck you in again Ronnie: youre that cunt Ronnie: mama's boy Joe: fuck's sake Joe: yeah alright Ronnie: you're the cunt who has the nerve to come crying to me when your mommy would shoot you up if you asked her to Joe: you reckon Joe: considering her dad was and she don't even hate yours as much i'll go with a no on that one Joe: plenty of sad stories I've heard and you ain't need to Ronnie: I reckon golden boy Ronnie: loves you as much as I love gear yeah Ronnie: & not trying to throw another baby away so you're welcome for the free pass Joe: cheers Joe: feels great Ronnie: you gonna cry again mckenna Joe: if i do i'll send you photos, don't worry Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: send me some either way Joe: you're a headfuck you know Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: dealer said it last time I fucked him Joe: you want fresh line Joe: 👌 Ronnie: give it to me then Joe: give me the flight to think of something you ain't heard before Ronnie: it ain't long enough Joe: fair there's plenty of shit i can say that you ain't heard for real before Joe: but it'd be a copout so i'll keep trying Ronnie: like what Joe: how many of your brothers you fucked lik4 Ronnie: don't reckon freckles is interested Ronnie: leaves me the gay & the kid Ronnie: what about your sister that'd be hot like Joe: they're all kids, just so you know Ronnie: no they ain't Ronnie: i know you lost your virginity to me but don't reckon they're waiting Joe: you wish Joe: hopefully just on the first count Ronnie: you're a sick boy Ronnie: 💋🖕 Joe: you too baby Joe: 💘 Ronnie: thats not some shit I ain't heard before Joe: just truth though Joe: no lying Ronnie: feels like one Ronnie: I'm good Joe: what you want me to say to that Ronnie: say what you wanna say Ronnie: again not your ma Joe: i'm good then Ronnie: truth or lie Joe: lie but not a big one Joe: true once i'm off this plane Ronnie: you out of sweeties or they're just that sugar free Joe: i'm trying to time it just right Joe: then i can actually just a decent amount and not be in a coma for you Ronnie: alright fuck Ronnie: you win Ronnie: nobody's said that to me before Joe: i mean it Joe: i want you first Ronnie: don't say this shit when you're on the wrong side of a plane ride Ronnie: jesus mckenna Joe: gotta make sure you miss me too Ronnie: you're such a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: you still want me though Ronnie: shut the fuck up Joe: why Ronnie: what do you want me to say Joe: you don't have to say anything Joe: but I ain't gonna shut up about how I ain't been able to get you out of my head this whole time Ronnie: yeah you said im a headfuck Ronnie: more than your family & the gear Ronnie: I'll take it Joe: better though Joe: you know Joe: so I'll take it and all Ronnie: you're a headfuck Ronnie: what are you being nice to me for Joe: you said it could go one of two ways Joe: you want me to be mean Ronnie: I want you to be here Ronnie: but you ain't Joe: I'm coming Ronnie: & I'm waiting on you Ronnie: what the fuck Joe: I know Ronnie: I hate you Ronnie: I'm losing it, do you know that Joe: I'm sorry Ronnie: what am I gonna do with that Joe: I don't know Joe: what do you want me to do Ronnie: what can you do Ronnie: can't even score by yourself Ronnie: worse than a fucking kid Joe: was desperate Joe: and it was your idea Ronnie: thats how it is every time Ronnie: you don't have any fucking idea 'cause I'm here cupping your balls & wiping your arse for you Joe: you've been giving me an easy ride of it yeah Joe: alright Ronnie: youre gonna try & call bullshit on that yeah Joe: nah i just had no idea you were being so generous Joe: would've got you a keychain at least Ronnie: fuck you Joe: you too Ronnie: get one with sharp edges we can make a blood oath or some shit Ronnie: maybe after you'll grow the hell up Joe: sure Joe: it's my speciality yeah Ronnie: cutting's more mine but you can have it Ronnie: same old shit gets boring yeah Joe: we can share Joe: she'd be proud Ronnie: my aspiration in life Ronnie: cheers Joe: obvs mine too Ronnie: you brought her up then not me Joe: reckon you owed me that one so Joe: even Ronnie: 💋🖕 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: say that again & you'll be swallowing teeth Joe: don't worry, that was hot Joe: you won it back Ronnie: go to hell mckenna Joe: you wanna be with me forever Joe: 💘 Ronnie: just reckoning you'll get there quicker than you will this fucking airport Joe: just be glad I didn't try to get back in at rush hour Ronnie: be glad im still waiting Joe: ain't gonna waste words on it Joe: show you Ronnie: 💘

[scaryscarecrows]

Vigil

Speculation for one of Gotham's midseason finales. Obviously, it ain't canon-or even close to canon-but that's what fanfiction is for.

Dove hates her job. She’s also pretty sure she doesn’t get paid enough for this.

Not like it’s hard, to come sit in a hospital room and do nothing, but it’s emotionally taxing. And she’s been here for like, ten hours and she feels gross.

Gabe was the one who called her-she’d been out satisfying a late-night chocolate craving (oh, periods)-with a curt, “Don’t come home, meet me at the safe house.”

Then, when she’d finally gotten there, his brilliant plan had been, ‘find the boss, and fuck and murder our way through damage control’.

So far they’ve found the boss, but there’s been no fucking and no murdering.

And technically, they hadn’t found the boss, the police had. It hadn’t been pretty, either, and there’d been speculation as to whether or not he’d finally die. But Cobblepot is nothing if not a stubborn bastard, and he’d clung on, probably dreaming up revenge fantasies.

They won’t know until he comes to, and he’s taking his sweet time about that. Hence her presence. Gabe and Mister Tibbs are parked outside the door, scowling at the doctors and shooting the shit with whatever cop got assigned to play Candy Crush in the hall, and she’s stuck in here because ‘you’re better at that shit and you won’t bust the chair’.

Okay, she’ll buy that last part.

If she’s gonna be honest (and why not, to herself), it’s weird, seeing him like this. Cobblepot is one of those people that isn’t…he’s not weak. He’s not. Oh, he can-and frequently is-knocked around, but he pops back up. Like a punching-doll. So seeing him not popping up, just lying there with a breathing tube and an IV and all, it’s…it’s unsettling.

She needs a new tampon. God dammit.

She steps out and when Gabe opens his mouth she flashes the little paper wrapper. His mouth snaps shut and he stares determinedly at the wall, refusing to make eye contact.

Christ, this sucks. Couldn’t he have waited to get shot until she didn’t have to deal with cramps on top of everything else?

She gets herself a hot chocolate on the way back and nearly trips over a kid on the way.

“Shit-uh, shoot! Sorry!”

The kid rolls her eyes and stalks off, muttering about ‘fockin’ tall people’. Geeze, sor-ry.

Kids today…

She shuffles back, wondering what the hell she’s supposed to do if Cobblepot does kick the bucket. She’s kinda screwed job-wise now, and she doesn’t really want to go back to her streetcorner office…

Fucker better not die.

Maybe she could ask Nygma for a job. If he’s not dead. He’s sort of…up and vanished. And even before, he’d jumped on the Crazy Train. She’s worked for enough lunatics for one lifetime, thanks.

Leave town, she decides. That’s the best plan, is leave town.

It’s a shit plan. Cobblepot can’t die, that’s all. She forbids it. She is not going to go to the trouble of leaving town because he had the rudeness to die at a bad time.

Pleased with this new, better, plan, she takes a sip and scorches her tongue. Which is why she’s swearing a blue streak when she rounds the corner and bumps into Jim Gordon.

“Son of a flea-ridden-oh. Hi.”

“Hi.” He looks…upset. Or maybe just awkward. “You just get here?”

“I had to step out.” Her coworkers deserve to be shamed. Gordon? She’s not that mean. “You?”

“No, I was visiting someone.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” Awkwardness reigns. “He’s not awake. At least, he wasn’t when I left. And I don’t know anything.”

“I didn’t come for questions. Just thought I’d drop in.”

THERE IS HOPE.

“I’m sure he’d appreciate that.”

“Can I go in?”

“Sure. Come on.”

Cobblepot’s still out and she sighs. It’s weird and she doesn’t like it and he shouldn’t be here. Last time he got shot he was still…awake. Happy, even. Freak.

“What’s the prognosis?”

“They think he’ll be fine. He’s stubborn.”

“Do you have any idea who did this?”

“No.” That’s not a complete lie. She’s got ideas, but no concrete ideas. She’s thinking one of the lesser bosses. Could be any of them. Or some random civilian, but she’s betting criminal connection. Cobblepot’s more dangerous than he looks, randos would probably get shanked before getting close enough to do anything. “Do you?”

“Too many.”

She flops back into the cold, plastic chair and thinks whoever designed it is a man. They’d have to be, because this is literally the most uncomfortable thing to sit in when one is bleeding.

Humph.

Gordon pulls up the other chair and hunches in it, hands clasped loosely between his knees.

“Want me to go?”

“Why.”

“Uh…” Somehow, asking if he’s going to go into a heartfelt declaration of love seems like a poor choice. “If you need a moment…”

“I don’t need a moment.”

Well, it was worth the ask.

“How’s the person you were visiting?”

Gordon shrugs, eyes flitting from Cobblepot to the floor and back again.

“Not so good. His girlfriend doesn’t hate me anymore, though.”

That sounds like way too much awkwardness for her to deal with right now, and she purses her lips and nods, hoping he’ll let it go.

“He’ll be okay.” She has no idea if he’s talking about his friend or Cobblepot. Maybe both. “He’ll be okay.”

“Yeah.”

They sit in awkward silence for a little longer before Gordon stands up and puts the chair back.

“We’ll find out who did this.” he says firmly. “I promise.”

She doesn’t doubt it, but she hopes he lets Gabe deal with it. Best to just nip this in the bud, before she can make it on the hit list. Or worse: the kidnap list.

So she’s selfish. So sue her.

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

He leaves and she wishes her phone had more battery life.

“Boss.” He’s out cold, it’s fine. “Hey. Boss. Jim Gordon just confessed his undying love to you.”

Nothing. Dammit.

“Gabe’s tap-dancing with your umbrella.”

Still nothing.

“Someone else came back from the dead. He doesn’t have a face anymore.” That’s the weirdest, most horrible thing. Those pictures are almost as bad as that one fungal toe she saw. Almost. “Well, it was stapled on, but it got punched off. Isn’t that weird?” She takes a sip of her hot chocolate. “This city’s a damn dumpster fire, boss. Maybe you should try for somewhere quieter. There’s some nice little towns down south that might be good…just corrupt enough to work out, but no weirdoes with stapled faces.”

Cobblepot remains out, probably just to spite her. Fine. He can just lay here in silence, then.

That’s the plan, and she sticks to it, but then she gets a text from Mister Tibbs and her phone uses the last of its battery life to blast out, “OH HOT DAMN, THIS IS MY JAM-” before playing the little death ditty and going black.

Seriously? He’s like five feet away. Well, there’s no gunshots or angry voices or whatever, so she’s not going out there. He wants something, he can come in here.

He must not want it that badly, because the door doesn’t open. Her luck is laughably bad, though, because her phone-of all the things!-is what wormed its way into Cobblepot’s head.

“…horr’ble noise.”

She hits the call button.

“Boss! You’re not dead!”

“Ow…”

Shit. Shit, wait, please-

“Boss? You didn’t…um…that thing I said about Jim Gordon? You didn’t hear that, right?”

He blinks at her, clearly drugged out of his mind.

“No?”

“Oh, good.”

“Why.”

“Why what?” Okay, so she feels a bit bad about lying to him right now. But it’s either that, or die. “Just be quiet, boss, the doctor’s coming.”

She thinks he might do just that-or even go back to sleep-but then he clears his throat and rasps, “Gabe…dancing…umbrella?”

Oh, boy.

THE END

[shinythingsorpaperrings]

things about my playlist (super long cause i included lyrics whos surprised)

Right Here, Right Now Right here, Right now I'm looking at you and My Heart love the view Cause you mean everything  im always a sucker for a good hsm song but this moment in the movie just really strongly resonates with me, the desire to make the moment last even though everything is speeding around them

Today Was A Fairytale But can you feel this magic in the air? It must have been the way you kissed me Fell in love when I saw you standing there every day just feels like floating like it really is magic honestly

Hung Up I'm not usually the type of guy to call twice And leave a message every time i think ive only left multiple voicemails for my mum like once

Thunder I don't wanna ever love another You'll always be my thunder So bring on the rain something bout boys like girls just always resonates about us but especially this. i used to play it every day when i spent that summer away

Check Yes Juliet Run, baby, run Don't ever look back They'll tear us apart If you give them the chance we all know how shit romeo and juliet when badly idealised but something about this just made me feel really strongly that it was ok cause of all the issues w my folks but i could run from that and itd still be ok

Two Is Better Than One Cause everything you do and words you say You know that it all takes my breath away this song just brings me back to that first night up against the wall honestly

Mine You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine another one of those played everyday, not even just the summer, but literally everyday for a long while. this part was the part that clicked most, that you brought me out of my shell

Love Story And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet" But you were everything to me, I was begging you, please, don't go  swift is kind of a running theme for my sweet summer tunes, but parts of this song reminded me of what my folks would be like, and the constant (poor) secret-keeping and the constant want to be free to be us

Marry You Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you i think its kinda self explanatory

Can I Have This Dance Take my hand, I'll take the lead And every turn will be safe with me Don't be afraid, afraid to fall You know I'll catch you through it all this will never stop being the cheesy fall back memory i have, its another soft moment but i love it so

2002 Now we're under the covers Fast forward to eighteen We are more than lovers Yeah, we are all we need When we're holding each other this song just invokes a lot of early memories, of the way we would belt every song out that would come on, the way that wed fix a playlist like no one else was there

Everything I Ask For Oh she makes me feel like shit (it's always something) But I can't get over it (she thinks it's nothing) 'Cause she's everything I ask for gotta agree with john, wearin red when youre feelin hot. its a good colour for you, yknow

Alone Together I don't know where I'm going But I don't think I'm coming home and I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead This is the road to ruin And we're starting at the end we started a mess, we ended a mess, were still a mess, and anything we do going forwards is a mess, but its ok

Still Into You I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you And even baby our worst nights I'm into you, I'm into you Let 'em wonder how we got this far, 'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all Yeah after all this time I'm still into you  i remember when my dad sent me the video to this song just because of what was on haleys tshirt. i didnt think it would come to stick with me for so long and mean so much

Runaway (U & I) I wanna run away Anywhere out this place I wanna run away Just U and I wouldnt be my playlist if i didnt throw electronic into it. a general running (lmao) theme though isnt it? to want to run away, to find somewhere new to start

Ours Seems like there's always Someone who disapproves, They'll judge it like they know about me and you, And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do, The jury's out, And my choice is you another summer jam. no matter what, this is ours. no one can take that away, nobody but us can change it. it will always be ours

Song 2 You I'll give you my song These words to you Sing you what I feel My soul is true. a little victorious doesnt hurt. its a soft song, mostly about a materialistic girl, but the feeling behind it resonates with me. i love how soft it is, i love the meaning behind it. but most of all i love that its still music thats being used to connect people

Stupid For You You're a symphony, I'm just a sour note I'll take what I can get The best is hard to grip when everybody wants you And everybody wants you basically about feeling just a little not good enough, but still chasin and makin it work. id say im pretty stupid for you though

Right Girl I've never been the best with my mouth Try to stay smart but the dumb comes out Maybe I'm shy, I drive an old car Maybe I'm amazed that I got this far you are the best thing to ever happen and i let my dumbass brain panic itself into doing the wrong thing to the right girl

Rock Bottom That you hate me now and I feel the same way You love me now and I feel the same way We scream and we shout And make up the same day everything culminated to this, to being rock bottom and tossing and turning and trying and maybe not trying enough. everythings still low it still feels like rock bottom while still feeling like theres more to fall. its hard to explain

Trigger Why can't we talk about it Why don't we try I think we can change our minds If we could just look at it through each other's eyes Instead of letting bullets fly i wish, at least for getting through this, we could be better at pushing emotions back to talk, that i could be better at pushing emotions back. i wish i was better at taking a step back and seeing it from another perspective before it got too late

I Really Like You Who gave you eyes like that, said you could keep them? I dunno how to act or if I should be leavin' I'm running outta time, going outta my mind i remember thinking how annoying this was when it came on, but it explains so well this state of limbo, this state of “what can i say, what cant i say”

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on my dad used to play this a lot when i was younger and i forgot it for a while, but something about you sparked me to remember it, to want to hear it on repeat, to belt it despite how quiet it is on spotify, to let it wash over me

How You Get The Girl And then you say I want you for worse or for better I would wait for ever and ever Broke your heart, I'll put it back together I would wait for ever and ever i remember how you used to say you didnt like this song but now it kinda feels like were living it, that someones going to show up on someones door step six months down the line in the pouring rain. or maybe someone wont. but it doesnt stop ever resonating with me so deep in my bones

Be There I'll be the warmth in your empty hotel I'll make it right when you're going through hell I'll be the call when there's no one to tell no matter the situation, ill still be there for you. doesnt matter when, how, what, why, ill be there

Anchor If you’re lost And feel like you’re alone I’ll be the one to guide you home You’ll never have far to go just to really drive the point home with a little tritonal, ill be your anchor, maybe not your rock, im not solid enough, or rooted myself. i sway with the tide but ill still be something you can hold on to

My Life Would Suck Without You Maybe I was stupid For telling you goodbye Maybe I was wrong For tryin' to pick a fight I know that I've got issues But you're pretty messed up too Either way I found out I'm nothing without you i dont care how rocky its been, i refuse to let myself be without you, whatever that entails

Dopamine What you do to me is no good But baby, you're good for me, so good for me We break up to build something new Chasing after what I have with you i think no matter what, it will always feel like what im doing is trying to get back what we had, but not the way it was, more the way we fit together, how we could sit together and be content, to fight and curse each other out but still somehow make it ok, thats what id be chasing after

I’m Yours So I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait I'm sure There's no need to complicate Our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours my heart will always be yours, even if you dont want it, it doesnt plan on going anywhere any time soon. i could leave and it would still stay with you

I Want You Back Oh, baby, give me one more chance To show you that I love you Won't you please let me Back in your heart Oh, darling, I was blind to let you go Let you go baby Cause now since I see you it is all victoria justices voice makes it feel more relevant somehow, maybe its the female voice with the same lyrics, maybe its just the way she sings it, who knows, but this rings pretty fuckin true

Just Wanna Be With You I got a lot of things I have to do All these distractions Our futures coming soon We're being pulled a hundred different directions But whatever happens I know I've got you while comedic in the end of year musical, the rehearsal version really i think really captures the heart of the relationship, that everything is happening everywhere and theres nowhere to stop and breathe but theyre still there for each other, and i will be too

Black Butterflies and Deja Vu I lose my voice when I look at you Can't make a noise though I'm trying to Tell you all the right words Waiting on the right words one of my favourites off the album, i hadnt found one i connected with much off the american candy album, except for ‘miles away’ perhaps, but then LLL dropped with this as a single and it just clicked so much with me. i find it so hard to tell you all the things i want to, the right things to tell you, its hard to ask you to be patient for me to get out what i want to, and i always end up sticking my foot in it, but one day ill get it right

Marry Me Forever can never be long enough for me To feel like I've had long enough with you a soft way to end this playlist, a perfect way to end it i think

[adhdvane]

i have so much angel halo fodder to farm but its magna fes so now is the best time to do it anyways i’m gunna try and 5* eahta today/tomorrow/at least before 25th is a reasonable goal. i need to max 11 more silver relics so 11 lazuline vessels for that + it takes 745990 exp (approximately ~25 lazuline vessels) to go from lv 1 to 150 (but I might be able to do it in less with journey drop boosts when using them since it seems to say that journey drop boosts and such only have no effect on the exp gain when putting weapons into the reserve and not the act of using the vessel on a item and vessels are also special considering unlike other exp upgrader items they can have a chance of grand success and its double jour drops right now so might as well) then other than that all i need are 6 more silver centrums, 4 of which i can get from just hosting the raid twice today (if i somehow get blessed i can get all six if i can get them to drop from the share chest both times) (otherwise getting 8 more heavenly horns from just joining raids to get 10 to trade for the other 2 centrums will be easy) (i have the two peacemaker stars for the two hosts) (i then proceeded to ramble too long so the rest is under the cut. ii keep writing shit out tat’s too long and then just deleting everything and never posing my rambling anymore but like fuck it at this point im keeping this)

and that’s it, i already did the awakening step on all 10 katanas yesterday which was the most painful step bc need 500 white dragon scales will always be the worst step in my opinions, which is why i spent yesterday getting to like 438 yesterday using the campaign exclusive quest (bc the drop rate for scales on that quest is surprisingly amazing considering the low ap cost even after you’ve done it 30 times) (but i ended up quitting 438 and then proceeded to buy the remaining 62 with cerulean stone bc i have a bunch still and tbh the only thing worth spending cerulean stones on are white dragon scales or shit like translucent silk, broken teacup, coverging rays, etc bc the drop rate for those is stupid, and i guess technically i’m going to need those 50 jumbo best bones when i get to the 5* part of death, but i still have more than enough stones if i wanted to buy all 50 of those drops and i’ll defiantly be getting even more after the roulette starts so i’m not even concerned, bc yeah i got the sunlight stone now for death but i’m still pretty damn far from deal w/death, though maybe not as far as i think if i just remember to host my go and primarch raids for a couple days, wow yeah actually im stupidly closer than i thought bc im only 12 celus fragments from all 30 i need, the only annoying issue in the last step is going to be taking the time to farm the 10 primeval horns bc sometimes they don’t drop when you join proto hl, i know its guaranteed from share i’m just always weary about hosting that raid since it is 18-man elixir limited and i can’t solo it, and have had a time in the past were i was only joined by people leaching and it sucks when only you and like 1 other person contribute. so i always feel better join one bc i can make a decent contribution (and even like sort of mvp race or usually more vice mvp race for like 2nd or 3rd) (okay one time i joined a proto baha hl raid that was between like 70~60% bc it was on earth and 8 ppl already, and upon joining discovered like most of them had jumped ship, and the log was dead and was like well fuck, but started raiding anyways, and trying to send back up requests anyways, ended up getting some momentum, painfully got it always through to 50% dark by my self (kind of annoyed i took my light grid with my spheric harp bc i thought it was going to be an instance were it would get to 50% super fast so the off element wouldn’t matter and not that everyone but host had retreated) and then like around ~45% another person finally joined and me and this one other person destroyed the rest of the boss in like a minute, that was one of like 4 or 5 times i’ve mvp’d proto baha hl upon joining. tbh i kinda wish i knew what the host was doing, like if they were sitting there watching, was afk, or had like left the raid page to do other things. like if they were just hoping someone would come in and beat it for them, or had sorta given up but didnt want to fully end the raid just incase, look okay i just felt fucking good thinking i helped out a lower rank player get through a hl raid that they were abandoned on by several other players who appeared to have either not being strong enough, or joined saw the damage and jumped ship bc it looked like it was going to fail. though if i remember correctly the time limit was pretty far gone so that’s probably also why no one was joining, i was just a dumb fuck who didn’t look at the time before i joined, then realized, and then just fucking felt bad and was like well fuck it lets see how far i can go by myself bc clearly everyone else is dead and i don’t have anything to lose and im not stoping anyone else from potentially saving this bc there’s still like 7 slots open that anyone can join at any time...) anyways the last thing i wanted to say was i remember i was like a little peeved when they announced everyone who finished chapter 4.5 in the demon slayer collab would get kengo for free bc FARMING FOR KENGO AROUND THE TIME IT CAME OUT HURT BC I HADN’T BEEN HL FOR VERY LONG SO IT TOOK A LOT OF EFFORT, esp like bc extra II class suck worse than row iv bc you have to make the ccw element change for every goddamn class. but i was glad they compensated us with materials and i was mostly just glad for the extra silver centrums and steel brick (even tho i just realized i have fucking 50 steel bricks where the fuck did those come from like i don’t remember having so many), but i remember thinking to myself like oh wow thank 40 samurai distinctions, thats so useful, wow, what am i going to do make another murakumo and unsigned kaneshige?? i think im good. guess those will sit there forever... and then a couple days ago when i started thinking about finishing eahta up since i literally finished farming the demon slayer event the day after the second half was unlocked (when u can just auto extreme+ with ur fire team u don’t have to do shit, i got all the items i wanted and after than even played to get the 200 battle trophy for the heck of it. i only wanted the tickets, ring, dama crystals, steel, summon unlock mats just ‘cause those spellbooks, skill jewels, the fire urns bc i know they’re farmable but they’re annoying and i am low on fire urns, and then i was like i guess the summon since it’s a 1 copy only thing and can’t be reduced even though i’ll literally never use it bc i have gabriel and gabriel has a sub aura, i guess maybe it could be potentially useful for prometheus solo’ing because of the 1 turn debuff resistance, but the times i did solo prometheus i never had problems running out of veils or clears and tbh garnet carbuncle has a shorter cooldown and again i’ve got lily and gabriel already (and 5* lucifer now) so like i’d much rather have my four summon slots for that be gabe, moon ssr, luci, garnet carbuncle. (heck i don’t even take extra damage cuts for the wilnas trial vane, lily, gabriel, and 5* feower’s gravity and delaying the everloving shit out of wilnas is enough for me, though i’ve never done the raid so maybe it would be helpful there.) anyways then i just spend the rest of the event drops on half elixers, and back to what i was saying i was thinking about finishing eahta and looking at all the mats i need and then remember oh yeah i need 30 class distinctions don’t i? which ones do i need for eahta??? oH THAT’S RIGHT. SAMURAI DISTINCTIONS. so that fuckin worked out perfect (not that i don’t have the pendents to just buy them anyways). anyways im going to shut up now and probably never re-read any of this ramble i wrote ever again bc adhd brain be like no read only write

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

ALL THE MYTHOLOGY ASK BINCH

i can’t believe this is from a month ago lol

Anubis: How do you feel about death?- I’m not quite sure you know. i don’t think anything happens after, which makes being suicidal all the time a little easier. i just feel like everything stops. like you literally just go to sleep forever, at least one would hope. losing people though it really fucking sucks and is rly hard trauma to come to terms w.

Atum: What are your greatest imperfections?- I’m a fat obese binch w no fucking self control, next

Bastet: Do you have any cats?- no bc I’m deathly allergic, but i wish i could

Hathor: What brings you joy?- lmao at my old answer for this. sandy, I love her so so so much. she licked my tears away today which I know may seem gross but was p therapeutic and it helped and then i napped. i need to finish her emotional support registration bc i can’t imagine my life without her now

Horus: What is one thing you’ve had to fight for in your life?- every single fucking thing. i had to fight to go to college, fight to move out, fight to be treated like an equal to my peers, fight for simple material shit like a car and comfortable enough place. fight and work for love so so so hard. i wish i had just ONE (1)! thing come easy to me. i was kinda bright growing up but that’s about it?

Osiris: Do you believe in the underworld?- i do ship hades and persephone all the fucking way, have that pomegranate and get ya mans girl rule that underworld and be the best mom cerberus will ever know

Ra: Do you have any major responsibilities or importance?- just to pay my bills on time and not die or starve. show up to work every day, and take rly rly rly rly good care of my dog, i spoil her i know i do and i know it’s bad but i need it and you can tell she didn’t come from a god home before so she deserves it

Thoth: Do you like to read/write?- i love it, i really genuinely do. i just don’t have that kind of energy anymore THOUGH the few times i do it’s so fuckin therapeutic and i feel brand new

Arawn: What is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done?- i guess pick up and move across the state on my own, TWICE. falling in love w my gf is a close second, as is my relationship before that bc i was fucking terrified both times. first was fear of the unknown and fear of something so new, and now was.. fear of the same, as well as.. fear of being uncomfortable, fear of starting over.. and not just my love life but every other aspect of my life as well. it felt like i picked up and threw out the whole (previous) relationship. not in an “idc” sense, but i couldn’t bear to be in same apt, the same job, the same spaces whatsoever. it was terrifying to keep living afterward. everything else ive done has just been shit i thought i had to do to get by. not confront abusers, work hard for literally ANYTHING i wanted, etc. sidenote, i also went through a rly bad reckless behavior bpd phase and some of the things i did were very unlike me and  slightly terrifying in retrospect. i feel like it was me trying to take control of something, ANYTHING, but still didn’t work.

Bran: How is your health?- physically, shit; mentally, shit. lmao. i can confidently say i am working on both though

Brighid: Tell us about your relationship with your father.- it has had its fair share of ups and downs. my father raised me as a single dad and he was great at it. i had birthday parties, i had the books, shoes, toys i wanted - even if it meant waiting a little more than everyone else bc my dad worked hard and only made so much for us both. my dad having to do all that came totally left field for him i imagine and he fucking rose to the occasion. somewhere down the line he did begin to resent my mother and i when she wandered back around, and i know he didn’t like that i chose her every time even though she paid me no mind and he was a doting parent. i went a couple years without talking to either of my parents, but we’re all actually pretty good now. my mom has made up for a lot and she’s not perfect bt she’s still trying and i can say the same for my dad as well

Cernunnos: What is your favorite animal?- pandas, otters, and puppies are god tier. koalas, giraffes, hedgehogs (no sonic), and chinchillas are also up there

Danu: What is your relationship with your mother?- i guess you can read above.. but basically it was shit before and now we get along but I don’t tell her anything you know. she still thinks I’m straight, a virgin, and have never had one (1) alcohol, deadass.  however, she’s still comforting? I wanted her to stay longer this weekend, I felt she’d help me hold it together even if I couldn’t tell her what was wrong

Morrigan: What do you think happens when we die?- first question. but basically you slip into a comfortable coma

Olwen: What is your favorite flower?- sunflowers

Rhiannon: Have you ever been betrayed?- I have felt betrayed before, yes. sidenote i hate that this is Rhiannon. 

Bragi: What kind of music do you listen to?- just about everything but fuck country music. maroon 5’s new album is rly good

Freya: Have you ever been in love?- yes i have and this shit has hurt every single fucking time, lol. and it always feels like it can never hurt more, but each time has been infinitely worse than the previous for me

Freyr: Do you have any children?- my daughter, sandy

Hœnir: Are you a silent or talkative person?- silent. I hardly talk, I’m not rly verbal, though when I have to front like I am I’m pretty good at it. but if it were up to me I wouldn’t talk at all. though there times (especially when manic) that i can go on and on and on. that was rly easy w my bf before and helped as far as better developing how to express myself verbally/communicating in general 

Iounn: How old are you?- can we not talk about my age and the existential crisis I have every time I think of it, thanks

Loki: What is the best trick you’ve ever pulled on someone?- i don’t really pull tricks and shit like that

Odin: What is your family like?- nonexistent

Thor: Would you consider yourself pretty powerful?- i am A WEAK BINCH!!!!!

Tree: What have you done with your life? What are you going to do with it?- I haven’t done much of anything. I just want to make money, pay off debts, own some pets, live comfortably.. be skinny

Aphrodite: What do you think of yourself?- I don’t think much of myself which has been identified as such a grande problem by others & by those who actively validate that so…

Ares: Are you an easy person to anger?- I wouldn’t think that I am, but it doesn’t take much for me to split on someone

Athena: Would you consider yourself an artist?- not much of one anymore

Apollo: Do you play any instruments?- piano, bassoon, sax, bass clarinet, french horn/mellophone

Dionysus: Do you drink?- I like red wine & henny

Hades: Do you have a bad reputation?- i sure fucking do now bitch

Hekate: Have you ever tried to communicate with the dead?- caucasian activities bruh

Hermes: Have you ever stolen anything?- walmart self checkout more like optional check out you feel me

Poseidon: Are you a moody person?- hi, i have bpd. (no this isn’t me justifying any behavior or whatever, but it quite literally is the reason why I’m “”””””””moody”””””””)

Zeus: Are you a confident person?- fuck no, next. i mean okay, i can be, fake confident, and i used to really have an air of confidence about me befroe but no longer do and it saddens me. petition to bring back 2k14 claudia tbh

Jupiter: Would people say that you are intimidating or fairly approachable?- I believe I’m approachable but I’ve been told I have chronic RBF and am incredibly intimidating and completely UNapproachable. my kids didn’t seem to think that when I taught though so that was cool

Pluto: Where do you think we go when we die?- i hope the underworld

Apollo & Dianna: Do you prefer to be up during the day or at night?day, i def wish i can get more done bc night is sleep time

Mars: Have you ever gotten into a fight?- both verbal and physical altercations

Minerva: Do you generally give good advice?- “dump him sis”

Proserpine: Have you ever felt trapped?- yes, mostly by my mental illness(es)

Plutus: Do you have a job?- yes, thank god

Venus: Have you ever had your heart broken?- of course, it’s broken right the fuck now binch!

Vesta: Do you like being home or do you try to get out whenever you can?- I’m a fucking SLUT for being home bitch omg. but at the same time i like traveling and getting our but i def prefer lowkey things. bookstores, wine tasting, shit like that

Morpheus: Do you daydream often? Of what?- of a lot more like having a sense of stability and whatnot. being loved completely and wholeheartedly 500% mutual healthy devotion. i want someone to invest in me

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[saintkimora]

well here is how work was on saturday and sunday

so first is saturday! it was a pretty good day. i got like 3 credit cards i think. i actually dont remember much about it but i do remember that it was the day i officially realized i have a crush on one of my managers! his name is steve and he is REALLY cute and he has such a fun personality! and his hair looks really good and he has such a nice ass and hes nice to me even though i know hes only so nice bc the strategy for the managers here is to use positive reinforcement to motivate the workers. also him, my coworker juliet, and i were all talking about fruit in the break room and he literally asked “are grapes a fruit?” now THAT is a man

so i got in that day and i saw the other iconic manager sarah and she was talking to someone so when i came in she stopped and she was like “hi perry!” and then she turned to the person she was talking to and said “hes my favorite” which was nice. and then she was telling me about our goals for today and she was like we need these credit cards today so she told me to “go sprinkle my perry dust everywhere and get these cards” and thats exactly what i did at first! i got 2 v quickly but then i kinda flopped for the rest of the day so i felt bad about that but then i got one more towards the end. the store as a whole only got 4 credit cards that day and the only other one was from steve. so i was kinda happy bc even though we didnt reach our goal (the goal was like 11 i think) i still did relatively well compared to my coworkers

and also i got so many compliments on my shirt that day, from both my coworkers and the customers! and that made me v happy bc caleb told me all my clothes were ugly but here i am getting all these compliments from my coworkers and customers and even customers who arent even at my register! so i wonder who the one with bad taste really is. that reminds me steve also complimented me on my shirt that day which made me happy he was like “perry you are always killing it with these shirts” again i know as a manager he has ulterior motives for being so nice to me but idc it still feels good to have a man be nice to me again 

speaking of caleb at one point i saw a customer and he literally looked just like caleb from behind so i thought it was really him and i almost had a heart attack like even after i realized it wasnt him i was still sooooooo nervous which was annoying bc i was hoping that he wouldnt have as much of an effect on me anymore but it seems im still kinda scared of him. and i have been getting kinda sad about him lately bc even though i know it wasnt entirely my fault that the relationship became what it did i cant help but think about all the things i did wrong and all the areas in which i fell short as a boyfriend that lead to him losing interest in me. thats also why i like work bc it keeps my mind occupied so i dont have to think about those things as much

anyways! during my breaks i did talk to my coworker juliet a little and it was so much fun!! and as i said earlier steve joined us at one point and we were all talking and it was really nice. and at one point juliet asked me if i liked milk and i was like no and she actually set me up bc steve got like mad about it bc he really likes milk apparently hes so cute lol

and now for sunday! i only worked like 4 hours and 45 minutes that day. BUT i got 5 credit cards!!!! and the store as a whole only got 7! nut. the other 2 were from my coworker yolemny who was kinda cold to me that day but she seemed to be in a bad mood in general so i didnt take it personally. but i was so MAD bc this one girl was gonna sign up for a card but she didnt have her id on her and if she did i would have gotten 6 cards which wouldve been a personal best for me

i was still happy about it though, like i got the first 4 in my first 2 hours and during the hourly updates over the walkies nicole (another one of the managers) was like “perry got 4 cards so far and hes only been here 2 hours so he is showing that it can be done. so we need everyone to keep pushing these cards” and honestly it was iconic bc at one point yolemny was on the register next to me and we were literally getting back to back cards together! and for the other hourly updates steve would refer to me as the man on fire since i was getting so many cards

like it really makes me happy when the managers praise me so much. like i know these managers probably dont actually like me and are just being so nice bc its part of their strategy to keep me happy and motivated so i keep getting cards for them. but still, it feels nice to actually be good at something for once since ive been sucking at everything ive tried to do for like the past year. and even if their kindness isnt genuine it still makes me feel accepted which is greatly appreciated since ive felt so alone for pretty much the past year and a half (excluding the 2 months where my relationship w caleb was good). so yeah i really like this job and i like the managers and my coworkers and i like feeling useful and important to someone again, even if its just because im good at getting people to apply for credit cards. so yeah i actually look forward to work now bc i get to be good at something and i get to see steve and i get to talk to my coworkers!

so thats pretty much it. i dont have work again until friday. i do have a meeting w my therapist tm so that will be fun. i might finally be going out w the new grindr guy this week too, but ive kinda already given up on that bc i dont really know how to talk to him and im 99% sure hes not gonna like me that much, but if anything at least itll get me out of the house for a few hours. i am also gonna start going to my schools gym! im gonna schedule an appointment to have like an “orientation” tour type thing where someone shows you how to do everything since i have no idea how to work out. im really nervous about it but i might be able to get danielle to go with me that way i dont have to do it alone so if she goes it could be fun! its just bc i want something to do since i still have way too much free time for my liking. and i might as well try to get more fit that way i can look better in all the cute clothes i want and hopefully find a man easier. so thats my plan for the week! 

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt. 14

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

i got my harry potter nerd on for this chapter, mostly because i wanted to write and didn't know what to write about

also, i'm glad you all liked the previous chapter <3

dipshit = adrien fergie = alya no = nino dancing queen = mari

enjoy~

16:30

fergie: its 2 quiet in here time for the #discourse

no: no

fergie: shit im blanking i need a topiC @the babs: someone pls

no: i refuse to support this

dipshit: Anything?

fergie: yes

dipshit: Ok give me a second

no: fuck dude i just wanted a day of chill

fergie: babe with friends like us thats just not possible

dancing queen: What are we doing??

dipshit: Hogwarts house discourse Go

no: i cant believe i have to break up with you

fergie renamed this conversation to “hogwarts house discourse”.

dancing queen: Oh no

fergie: alright alright alright adrien = puff mari = puff nino = puff

dipshit: How do you figure

no: uhhh

dancing queen: Sorry al that seems wrong

dancing queen: oh it is it definitely is but ur all sweet enough for hufflepuff and loyal and we all eat too much food hmmm realistic one… adrien = puff mari = snake nino = raven mayb

dipshit: Make Mari Gryffindor and I’ll agree with you

fergie: whaaaaaat our girl is ambitious aF theres no way

dipshit: But she’s also a really strong leader and incredibly brave

dancing queen: If were arguing over anyone Id say adrien should be a gryffindor Oh wait maybe ravneclaw???? Hes super smart Shit this is really hard? He could be in three???

no: the fuck i was thinking slytherin actually

fergie: ???

dancing queen: ???????

no: listen my dudes the hat takes what you want into consideration right? it does it for harry anyway

fergie: what does this have to do with marshmallow being a snake which is just not accurate

no: im getting there

dipshit: Are we going by stereotypes or nah

dancing queen: Nah The stereotypes suck

no: im just saying theres no fucking way if we were wizards teh agrestes wouldnt be pure bloods and gabriel would be classic fucking slytherin

dancing queen: Ok Ill agree with that

fergie: mhmmmm

dipshit: I wouldn’t say that

no: bro even if you arent going off stereotypes your old man is probably the mos t ambitious perosn ive ever met like scary mari is almost as scary

dancing queen: Hey!!!!!!

fergie: so sorting hat

no has changed their name to sorting hat.

sorting hat: sup

fergie: are u saying adrien would ASK 2 b slytherin

sorting hat: well yeah yeah i am 

fergie: …………… i did not consider

sorting hat: i know you didnt

dancing queen: First of all since we cant decide and Im getting mixed answers from online quizzes

dancing queen has changed their name to lion snake.

lion snake: Second of all doesnt the hat also base it off of what you value the most??

dipshit: Lion snake? Like a chimera?

fergie: nerd

dipshit: Actually the chimera also has a goat ignore me

sorting hat: what the fuck

dipshit: Greek mythology

fergie: u kno what i dont wanna kno

dipshit: Anyway back to this

sorting hat: oh yeah anywa yeah the hat does but adrien wanting to please his dad might overrule that idk my dude jk didnt exactly lay ou t the rules of this super great

fergie: jk needs to c h i l l and ye each of the golden trio couldve ended up in at least one other house

dipshit: That would’ve been cool Also I don’t think I try to please my dad that much

fergie: oh sweetheart

sorting hat: dude

lion snake: Adrien you really really do

dipshit: Really?

fergie has changed their name to adriens legal guardian.

adriens legal guardian: someone needs to take care of you

dipshit: I promise I’m fine I’ve got Nathalie

sorting hat: does nathalie give you hugs

dipshit: No? Why is that relevant?

adriens legal guardian: SHE DOESNT COUNT THEN #HUGADRIENAGRESTE2K17

adriens legal guardian has changed their name to i love adrien.

i love adrien: turn on ur location agreste

dipshit: Please know that’s actually kind of creepy I’m at home you don’t have to worry about location

i love adrien: hella

sorting hat: alya chill out with the name chagnes also now im gonna be confuse d

i love adrien: i love him too but truuuuu

dipshit: ????

i love adrien: can i change it

sorting hat: last time for today??

i love adrien: ilysm

i love adrien has changed their name to cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub

dipshit: I have a fanclub? Wait that wasn’t the smartest thing to say

lion snake: Its a good thing youre cute

dipshit: I try to ignore them

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: have u ever been on the official insta of the fanclub bc its hilarious and beautiful

dipshit: …. Alya why

sorting hat: oh we totally googled you

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: mhm

lion snake: ^^^^

dipshit: That’s…..nice of you?

lion snake: Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable omg

dipshit: It’s just? Kinda weird?? I don’t mind and I probably should’ve expected it I just forget sometimes that that’s a thing people can/will do

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: adri if it makes u feel any better i google everyone ive googled everyone in this chat in our class their parents ymself random strangers if im able to

sorting hat: that is not surprising at all

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur not special i mean u r ur v special to me and ilysm but not here everyone gets googled and twitter stalked also tell whoevers running ur official accounts to be less lame idc about salad u eat

dipshit: What????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur social media is B O R I N G i kno u dont run it but i still expected more memes

dipshit: Honestly I don’t look at it

sorting hat: its like the person we thought you were when we first met you except more boring

lion snake: Ok no thats not true Because I thought he was an asshole

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh shit tru

dipshit: Ahhhh yeah sorry about that

lion snake: Its fine I promise!!! Weve talked about this Its like Super perfect adn model-y and professional andnot  at all a teenage loser who stayed up until 2 watching sailor moon and eating doritos

sorting hat: fucking relatable

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: weebs

sorting hat: yo youre the one who decided to date some

lion snake: Hey Ive never asked Adrien do you have unofficial personal social media???

dipshit: ……………………. Shhhhhh

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: WHAAAAAAAT LINKS LINK S LINKS LINSK

dipshit: I have a tumblr but that’s it

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh my go d this weekend  we get 2gether adn make adrien all the social media and we revamp his tumblr bc ur theme sucks

dipshit: ???? You’ve never even seen it???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i know it does marsh !!!!!!!! can u imagine if lb and cn had social media!!!!! id c r y

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: P l e a s e

lion snake: Oh my og d

dipshit: Please please please please please please please plEASE

lion snake: HOld on!!! Im discussing with tikki

dipshit: Plagg says he doesn’t care what we do

lion snake: Yeah we arent trusting him

dipshit: Fair enough WHAT IF I CAN GET SNAPCHAT ON MY BATON A LITERAL SNAPCHAT

lion snake: No Just because of that No

dipshit: Pleaaaaaseeeeeeeee My lady it’ll be great I swear

lion snake: U gh Well talk on it on patrol tonight k??

dipshit: YES!!!!

19:05 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i know weve moved on but man. fuck snape

 20:12

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: do u think if i track down lb and cn and ask them for their hogwarts houses theyll tell me

sorting hat: worth a shot?

 20:42

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: update: chat says ladybg is a gryffindor and lb says shes iether that or slytherin so like mari and they cant agree on cn

 22:53

sorting hat: damn you adrien i cant stop thinking about this what is mari?? what is adrien??? what am i?? al youre either gryffindor or ravenclaw ive decided

lion snake: Youre the sorting hat shouldnt you know all???

sorting hat: bruh we need the actual sorting hat for this

lion snake: Fair enough

sorting hat: lets say adrien is a hatstall and move on

3:03

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: Rise and shine bugaboo Akuma at 3 o’clock Literally 3 o’clock the time not the like If you’re using 12, 3, 6, and 9 as directions It’s not You know what My tracker on my baton is turned on so use that to find me

 3:08

dipshit: Mari Mari Alright plan b I’m gonna call  you and if you don’t pick up I’m going to show up on your balcony Which sounds creepy but also this akuma is now stacking cars and I don’t really know what to do? They aren’t even trying to do anything else right now Am I missing something??? I’m confused

 3:12

lion snake has changed their name to ahHHH

ahHHH: IM SO SORRY Tikki woke me up my phone was muted She says Waitw e dont hav etime for this Ive gotta transform so Ill talk to you when I get there??

dipshit: It’s fine just watching an akuma build a tower out of cars Remind me to show you how to sync Skype up to your yoyo

ahHHH: Youre on skype on your baton??

dipshit: Yeah it makes things easier

ahHHH: Huh Al and nino didnt wake up?

dipshit: I think the akumas too far away for them to hear, but also it’s not exactly being distructive When we actually start fighting people might start waking up but for now it’s being pretty quiet even with the car stacking

ahHHH: Well thats good they need their sleep Wait if the akuma was quiet how did you know??

dipshit: People started posting to the Ladyblog forums and I had that open in another tab

ahHHH: ???/ Why were you up????

dipshit: Bad night I couldn’t sleep so I put on Howl’s Moving Castle

ahHHH: Feeling any better?

dipshit: I’m sure I’ll feel better when I see you :3

ahHHH: Oh myg do Itst oo early for this Ill see you in fa few just stop that cat face

dipshit: ;3

[gilmoregirlsbigbrother]

EPISODE #1

As the cast get settled into the Dragonfly Inn, tensions arise between a few guests. Personalities don’t always mesh and alliances are formed quickly in the first few days of the game. Let’s check in on the houseguests as we begin our journey on Gilmore Girlssssss Bigggggg Brother!

Andrew

Lov it is lit rally 6 hours ahead of est in italy and like my dummy dum dum ass was like oooooo lets play this fuckin game that starts in the middle of my italy trip?? so i love that for my brain. i saw the post, saw clash and dan got the twist thingy, talked to some people for a little bit, and then went the fuck to bed

Isaac

This cast fucking blows.

Randy

5 of the cast are women, 16 are bitches ding ding is it bad that i dont see myself not making it late game like i thought i had an uphill battle but these bitches accepted me so easily so this is gonna be easy

Chelsea

Hi everyone! I'm gonna try to stay on top of my shit but no promises. There are a lot of people that I don't know at all in this game, but so far Randy, Clash, Nick, and Dani have been the people to message me. Dani and I played Guyana together and did well, so it's nice to have her as someone to talk to this early on.

I don't really see any obstacles yet, it's all a matter of how i bring my game to the table and who i learn does it better. This is my second BB game so I have a little bit of learning to do since the gameplay is a bit different than Survivor.

I love the idea of going to Friday night dinner. Not only do i love dinner and Friday nights, but i think it's completely fair and chill. Your decisions may or may not help you and that's what I like. I enjoy seeing how advantages work for different people and how people make weaker ones work in their favor.

I joined this game last minute when I wasn't planning on playing for a while, so I'm still trying to get mentally prepared for the conversations and challenges ahead. I hope that doesn't put a target on my back.

Nick

https://youtu.be/KKrQn3xNd1A

( a little while later) 

Still no reply from Karen but according to Randy, Karen has a premade that she plans on sticking with all game. Randy also told me he wants me to win hoh but I don’t know if I really want it.

(a little while after that)

Karen messaged me which is a yay! I’m hoping he was just busy and didn’t see my message but who knows... can’t wait to play this first hoh and get last in it probably!

Andrew

at this point with the people left who can still win hoh.....i think theres a chance that dani or madison could put me up just bc idk them and im having very boring, fake conversation with them lmao. i love being a meninist! anyway-- i think id be fine with everyone else? i hope. so likeee fuck this hoh ig. i dont need it. if i somehow get it, ill just put up the people that ive talked to the least? also im lowkey worried JG would put me up just bc we arent talking a lot. i should talk to him more huh.. anyway i would hope im good w everyone else. nick - who i was worried about - even told me im good with him if he wins hoh and i told him same. so wow oh wow ive made my first deal of the game

Head of Household commences and Clash is the Head of Household after a water balloon fight. Alliances begin to form as a obvious friendship of Karen, Isaac, Ricky and Andrew is spotted by another emerging friendship of Nick, Madison and Randy. But, is everything as it seems? 

Liana

Hi first confessional here. I've been struggling with playing 2 games at the same time it's hard to keep up. Now i get some quiet time to catch up this lovely morning. This cast is fun and varied. I was excited to see some people I've played with in the past (Drew, Karen, Isaac, Andrew, Dan, and Ricky) and meet some new people. I'm finding it hard to message people because I hate the awkward small talk in the beginning but I don't want to get targeted. While I know those people from the past, they're also obstacles because I know, according to timestamps, Karen and Isaac targeted me in the HOH and they're probs definitely working together. I'm hoping I can stay under the radar for now and let large groups go after each other until I get a chance to build more relationships.

Madison

Let's review

In the past 24 hours I have: -implied f2 with Dan -implied f2 with Nick -f2 with Clash -Alliance with Nick and Randy -implied alliance with Bobby and Nick -alliance with Randy Adrian JG Clash

Nick

Clash winning HOH is acceptable! I think he trusts and likes me and he wanted me to win hoh when I was still in which shows something. On top of that we both had the same sorta idea to put Isaac and Karen up which I’m just here like “bye bye bitches” and these inactive players will hopefully learn how to speak some English.

Dan

Clash winning hoh is like a damn Hawaiian vacation for me. I don’t have to worry about being nominated, I still don’t have to talk to these crackheads, and I can maybe get noms how I want them. I love being pretty

Ricky

My first night in the Dragonfly Inn was riddled with terrible associative experiences in my real life, .org life, and romantic life. So....not great.

Adrian

im here and im ready to dominate

Drew

Right now i don't have a game, Andrew and I keep talking about maybe deciding to start playing but then everyone else who's like old school PI type people that we could tap (Ricky, Isaac, Karen) keep sucking massive ass

so the plan is to be just barely known enough to survive and then we'll reassess in like three rounds when i start wanting to win challenges

aka when the cast gets normal sized

Andrew

i mean im gonna work with isaac and ricky for sure i think bc we're a power trio and can fuck shit up when we put each of our single brain cells together. i like also wanna work with karen and/or drew and/or sammy bc they all me friends. i usually dont trust karen or drew for too long in games but like this is bb and not survivor and i play these 2 games v differently so we'll see what happens. madison and nick were really giving me nothing to work with night one even tho i wanted to have more indpeth convo with them. dan and jg i wanna try working with. clash..... we're gonna manipulate xoxo

clash has been involved with a lot of drama in this community and to be real i still dunno how i feel about him cuz like,,,,,ive only hosted him? and hes kinda immature but like also ig i can work close with him in an actual game and get better bearings on who he is.. maybe he can be a good ally? maybe i can just manipulate the fuck out of him and get him to say he loves me after knowing me for 6 days?

(a little while later)

me to dani: yeah it’s hard being in everyone’s pms haha Also me: rapid fire texting every single houseguest all the way from the homeland

(a little while later)

I'm tryna talk to everyone just so I'm not nominated because for whatever reason I have a bad track record of getting nommed week one? I only wanna win veto comps if I'm actually on the block. HOH rn is dumb and I'm just gonna do the bare minimum to keep myself from being nominated lol

(a little LATER after that)

okay so im gonna make a list from 1 being who i wanna mcshoot to 11 being no pls i dont wanna pull the trigger piglet

1. Madison ew smelly 2. Dani kinda smelly dont trust it 3. JG i like dunno where i stand w him 4. Clash i think he trusts me but that would be crackhead hour 5. Randy same with Clash but less hormonal(?) 6. Liana dont think she'd put me up.. 7. Karen same with Liana but im better fwiends w her uwu 8. Nick we made a deal so like? stick to it?? 9. Adrian a cool man that I wanna get closer to 10. Isaac we tryna power trio w him and Ricky 11. Ricky I think he'd have a better chance at beating Isucc

1 is take em out chief and 11 is sweet bb boi owo

(jesus take the wheel the cameraman gets super tired but Andrew keeps speaking)

Dear diary, clash won hoh today, and I hope he doesn’t put me up. If he does, then I’ll just bully him by constantly posting the screenshots of him confessing his love to Madison kimrey in the house chat. Till next time! Andrew <3

also yikes I guess dani assumes I’m the one who took her out in the challenge but like there were 8(?) of us left and lit rally lov we’ve talked for like 5 minutes so I could not give less of a shit lol

I could use Dani’s passive aggression to fuel a nuclear power plant

After the nomination ceremony where Isaac and Liana are nominated, tensions brew between Bobby and Isaac (which makes Isaac concoct a lie to make Bobby feel bad for being mean). The houseguests start to form alliances on late night calls, notably Madison’s two alliances Weiner Hard and The Chipettes. 

Nick

VL Cast Assessment/Opinions:

Adrian - We don’t exactly talk often but I feel quite safe with him... he gives me laying low type player vibes and I’m gonna let him do his thing! Overall like him a lot and there’s potential with him as an ally in the game.

Andrew - He’s quite chill! He and I talk a lot and I personally really like him and his attitude. I think he doesn’t scream threat but late game he may be the main social player and threat to win. I consider him a worthy ally

Bobby- I LOVE BOBBY! He’s overall really fun and has a great personality. We are definitely close in this game! The one issue is he makes it very clear he hates Ricky and that could put a target on him and possibly me if they think we are close. He’s someone who I will 100% have their back in the game

Chelsea - She’s sweet... nice personality and doesn’t seem to have any enemies. I think she’s a super nice person and there’s really nothing negative to say about them at the moment besides I wish we connected more sooner.

Clash - CLASH IS AMAZING! We knew each other way before this and we already had the bond but we never worked together... hopefully this time it will be different and we can work with each other long term!

Dan - I love him but the house thinks otherwise... people see him as a kind of a crazy over the top player based on past games... but in my opinion it’s better to have those types of people on your side rather than against you in these types of games...  sadly he might be a common target in this game.

Dani - Dani is so kind and I love her so much! We talk all the time  and the only issue I have with her is that she’s after Madison who I also like and trust. Their feud might ruin my game long term!

Drew - I like drew but I feel like he automatically thinks I’m with him because we know each other... we haven’t talked a ton but when we do I enjoy the talks a lot as he’s genuinely a good and funny guy!

JG - Same a Clash where I knew him before this and I trust him but we never played together! I think everyone likes him and he is someone who I gotta trust or I’ll fall out of the loop.

Karen - Rocky start but we actually talked a bit and connected a bit. I’m hoping for more but as of now I don’t trust Karen that much.

Liana - Chips wife omg I love you. they are nominated right now and I’m worried people will evict her because if she “puts the baby down” as some say, she may be really threatening long term in the game.

Madison - Hate this bitch... obviously joking but she can be trouble long term if I don’t keep an eye out for her... she’s going to create and be in drama and I gotta be ready to deal with the aftermath. Trust and love her but she can ruin everything for me in one day if she wasn’t in the right head space

Randy - This bitch is so funny! I want to work so bad with randy and I think it may actually happen! He is someone I hope I can count on long term in the game!

Sammy - We are slowly making connections and he reaches out to me very often so I’m happy to see someone is reaching out to make a bond with me rather the other way around! I’m excited for what’s to come!

Isaac - He might as well not talk to anyone at all because he’s basically inactive... he didn’t even speak to the hoh when they made nominations then got mad when they went up... it’s annoying that you think you deserve to stay over Liana who’s putting work in.

Ricky - I like him! He talks with me which is nice and I’m just overall looking forward to more conversations because I find him funny and interesting!

Andrew

I wasn’t nominated which was lit and clash said I’m one of his closest allies.. dunno if that’s true or not but I’ll run with it for now. Liana being nominated im neutral about but isaac could be an issue bc I’m supposed to be working with him. But sometimes he’ll go inactive in games? And idk why. I guess his aunts in the hospital which is a yikes but also he shouldn’t be surprised if he’s on the block. Also calling clash an incel and Bobby a dick in the chat is a look but also Bobby kinda WAS being a dick so like understandable. PS - who has the social tact now miss isaac? ... ily

Madison

Idk if I could trust Nick fully because he's already backstabbed Randiddy and my keeping things from both him and Bobby is just easier for me. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut this time and not cause too many fights but I also wanna fight most of these people. The noms are also sexy as hell and I hope Liana goes because she has a child to take care of and she should go back to that

Randy

https://youtu.be/QZC4skhewkg

The veto commences, and Sammy reigns victorious in the Word Ladder challenge. Isaac and Liana remain final nominees. But will rumors of the “premade” on a house call seal Isaac’s fate?

Ricky

literally not one single person has spoken to me today except sammy and he said hello and nothing else so i’m not doing shit until i am told anything

Randy

Andrew

so i think isaac is dying and people are coming to me like "i know hes ur fwiend uwu" and im like well im obviously not gonna be a dumb dumb bubblegum lookin ass bitch and rock any vote when im tryna play this UTR friendly to everyone game. my game rn is based purely on conformity and being a wallflower. so if isaac has to get sent down the river then bring me a boat bitch

Madison

i can't wait to evict all these boring ass people

[thegeminisage]

time for MORE ZELDABLOGGING hell yeah today’s stream of consciousness:

i’ve decided that i wanna go south bc like im never gonna catch up with my brother and im Not in the mood to do heat-resistence stuff so i might as well see a thing he hasn’t, right?!

if i get too bored i can always turn around and go north!!

furthermore he’s getting closer to hyrule castle and i dont wanna lol

fast traveled to the dueling peaks and found the tower already

ooh and lake hylia is south as well! tho ofc im doing the southeast one first

and i’ll probably get tired of storyless exploring before i get out that far hahaha

wow the tower is close to the border, i can see the lake hylia province from here

there’s an Immense palm tree lookin jungle and i think i see a giant armos?

but the mountains divide it pretty neatly so it looks to be an easy walk assuming those guardian statues don’t move

ah. of course they move.

at least they can’t get up and walk around :|

too bad you can’t play around in the menu while you wait out rain. i’d rewatch m memories and shit

i climbed this one red looking cliff and the sky went green and the weather changed to all cloudy forever so im probably about to die

and just like that, glided to the tower. easy peasy

ah, the faron province!! cooool

ah wow!! it’s bigger than i realized *w*

watching a lightning storm from one of these towers is fucking terrifying

that lightning does Not fuck around

the maddening thing about this game is seeing so much cool shit in the distance and you can’t check it out yet, or it would be such hard work

i see some glowy shit and a giant pink tree and i wanna explore everything but also it’s so Much

it’s kind of creepy out here :/ maybe i want to go do story after all lol

im ging back to the shrine you hang glide off of so i can start from  somewhere familiar >_>

idk why im so cautious playing this game. like. its a game. its not like it can hurt me

im having trauma flashbacks looking at eventide island

wait is this a

i hear town music!!! omg omg

PEOPLE ;_;

ohhhh my gosh what a beautiful peaceful beachside town

reminds me of bodhum/new bodhum and bits and piece of ff11, which i say with the greatest reluctance

i love everyone in this village just bc they are here

oh god it’s so beautiful i love beaches so much i want to live here

oh my gosh there’s a gerudo here!!!!!! OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE MM TALK TO ME

she’s asleep in the inn lol

oh hey the painter dude is here too

some of these hylian npcs are poc which is so do cool and overdue

ooh a chest game

i lost lmao

OH MY GOD

the gerudo lady is awake and she is. so tall oh my god

im gay

i am Gay

I Am Gay

oh, man. oh man

are they all  so beautiful. so Strong. good god

i wish this village was bigger i could have happily stayed here for hours

omg

someone a long time ago was standing on a mountain that looked like a broken heart and was like, is this not the place to find your soulmate…? but i haven’t found mine yet

someone mentioned a similar legend here and on the map i see a mountain with a whole heart on it pfffft

im so sick of seeing these stone cirlces everywhere…i can’t blow them up..what do you DO with them? complete the pattern maybe??

oh my god it worked

i’ve passed by so many…how will i ever get all these seeds……..

i know the game wants me to sail here but i hate sailing, it’s tedious, i want to control my boat with the fucking control stick

holy fuck dude the sword im using is so strong?? it cut down a palm in a single swipe!!

the longer i play the more i hate the blood moon

oh no i found a hinox

i was going to avoid him but he has an orb….

idk where it goes tho so there’s no point there’s no point the blood moon will bring him back okay Okay

hes a red one anyway so no big, when the time comes

oh my god ANOTHER hinox with an orb

i bet they go to the twin shrines near the village

but i’m supposed to find a tablet before i do that…….i don’t wanna skip another quest like the zora helm also thats a Long walk jesus christ

NNNONONONO GOD

GUARDIAN THAT CAN WALK OVER THERE NO FUCKING THANKS SO GLAD IT DIDN’T SEE ME

so fucking glad

exploring is so dangerous Why

why do i suck SO much at combat

oooh a bokoblin camp with a black mobiln :/ Yikes

aaand bomb arrows takes care of THAT

i love seeing farosh flying around here but i can NEVER CATCH HIM

i was just a few minutes too late to getting him at a really good spot

but the dragons seem to take the same route over 24h, so there’s that

oh hey im back at green cloud plateau

okay Um am i crazy or did i just hear something roar? was that the wind??

oh god i see a question mark from here something already knows im close

oh ogd oh god why i bet it’s big and awful

IT’S A LYNEL LOL

i dont have any healing or defense stuff no way

oh no i think there’s a shrine up there where he is ): but i can’t get it

AND A HINOX RIGHT NEXT TO HIM? NO THANKS LOL

jesus i knew i’d die here

at least there’s no orb on this one

oh noooo more lightning god the storms here are brutal

omg i found shelter behind a waterfall and there’s the shrine i was sensing!! yes!!!!!

holy fuck im not safe here either i nearly just got fried

in the shrine we go holy shit

may the weather be better when i get out

damn i keep finding ore today… #blessed

I SAW FAROSH AGAIN HE WAS SO CLOSE BUT I WAS STILL TOO SLOW…okay they DEFINITELY take the same route everyday i think

or at least if not at the same time, the same places

ugh i went over to this one place and the weather turned to all lightning forever

KASS? HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU’RE GONNA GET FRIED

im so glad to see him ;_; it’s creepy out here

uh…i think…i have to get struck by lightning…on this hill…oh my god i’ll die???

maybe my lightning rod will work……? please…………..?

aaaaand it did nothing. great. ok

/saves game

……../dons metal armor weapons and shield

LMAO IT WORKED HOLY SHIT

oh my god im alive!!!! i had mipha’s grace just in case but i took an electric elixir

jesus FUCK

yes nice i didnt even have to do anything just get the…chest…….

B R O

i got rubber tights!!! electric resistance!!!!! NICE

ah and when i came out the storm was over :3

but kass is gone ): i wanted to tell him i figured out his song!!!

i knew i should have talked to him before i went in :/

lol i find a boat after playing in the water for 100 years…..not that i wouldve used it, but

aw i met and saved a traveling couple, i’ve saved them before

oh my gosh a STABLE!! all the way out here!!!!

THERE ARE PEOPLE

man i wondered what that couple was doing out in such a remote place

oh wow beedle gave me a single ancient arrow…apparently it deals huge damage even to guardians

maybe this is what the start screen meant by the right tools!!!!

but there’s only one…

robbie from akkala gave it to him…NICE i’ll remember

ah some guy here said there was something glowing at the top of floria waterfall…i gotta check that out

ooh a shrine back here too…nice

god there’s a chest in here that’s REALLY hard to get bc camera angles but it has an ancient core (looked it up) and i need one to upgrade my runes………smh

man…nah. im out. there will be other cores & this is crazy ridiculous

its just the stasis rune anyway and i use that one the least

five big hearty radishes means TWENTY FIVE EXTRA HEARTS

but you can only have a max of 30 lol so

AAAH HERE COMES FAROSH AND IM FINALLY AHEAD OF WHERE HE’LL BE OH MY GOD

I HIT HIM I HIT HIM

I FINALLY GOT A SCALE

almost died for it but. i got it. he throws electricity involuntarily and it’s major stuff i shoulda worn my rubber gear

i kinda wanna wait and see if i can get another……..but i have shit to do

holy shit farosh came back around & i got another scale…wish i could hit his horn

AAAH NO A GIANT STONE THING IS HERE….i have no idea how to fight them im leaving

well idk if the stone thing or the dragon or the shrine was what was supposed to be glowing up here but i don’t see anything new

im almost done exploring this province, actually

gotta walk along one beach and climb the heart mountain and that’s it!

a little tempted to grab my horse since it’s such an easy direct road, but i’d be getting on and off all the time ):

fml there’s a guardian on this beach…pls dont move pls dont pls dont

oh thank god its stuck in the sand

omg there was a chest in the sand but it WASNT A CHEST it was one of those yellow octoroks!!!! but!! i shot it! and got money!!!!!!!! #nice

NOOOO another stone thing!!

but you know the last one took a lot of damage from one accidental bomb so maybe

how do you fight it?? i can’t damage it???

OH OMG THE ORE THING!!! OKAY LET’S DO THIS SHIT let’s go i cooked up so much good food

oh my god i took him down in just a handful of bomb arrows…THATS what ive been running from?

not nearly as scarly as lynel tbh

and i’ve been marking the minibosses on my map so now i can look for jewels there if i ever need to

i found a fuckton in this region but lol i sold them all

i know one great fairy needs 10k rupees and like…..Yikes

im getting pretty good with my bow, i can hit far off targets bc i know how high to aim and shit

i’ve kind of been wondering what happens if you get to the edge of the map

but the wind gets so strong on the beaches i bet you just either run out of stamina if swimming or can’t make the boat get past it if sailing

but what happens if you get to a land edge though…?

i actually dislike getting to edges of maps haha it creeps me out. that disreality unrealization shit. no thanks

in la noire the edges of the map have u-turn streets and you realize the cars are all just on one endless track and no one is in them and no one ever goes home and you start to wonder if this actual universe is a simulation and it freaks you out

anyway.

omfg someone from the yiga clan selling bananas like i actually could have bought some if i wanted LMAO

he actually had me fooled for a moment even though i know what npcs named “traveler” mean

why do they all give me bananas when they die anyway………whats going on with this.

oh my god this dude at the heart shaped pond is in love with this gerudo lady here. and like. same oh my god she’s so Big

but lol you can choose to say “yeah talk to her” or “nope, rival time!”

me: aggressively wants to flirt with the gerudo lady but not in a straight way

pls this cutscene was so cute

but she deserves better than a weirdo like this guy

he like, gave me a twenty, and she fussed at him for being stingy, so then he have me a hundred, and THEN

HE ASKED FOR HIS MONEY BACK LMFAO no way fucknuts

wow and with that im All Done with this province O:

i mean yeah i got quests and shrines to come back and do, but i’ve SEEN everything, yk

maybe now i’ll go up to death mountain haha i feel so slow ): i hope what i saw and did made up for my slow story progress

whoa this weapons guy said he’d remake mipha’s trident if i ever broke it!! what a relief

ah i finally figured out the shrine puzzle by zora’s domain…gotta give that thing a dragon scale. but i like my dragon scales too much so i won’t. maybe later

oh hey the death mountain region tower! that was easy

uhhh what…is that

oh my god a FLYING GUARDIAN are you KIDDING me??? why???????

and they’re everywhere! fantastic!!! my ass is DEAD

oh okay this region is called akkala

at least i get guardian arrows here eventually :|

oh my god ONE SAW ME FUCK

oh my god

I RAN UP TO THE TOWER AND IT’S COVERED IN THE BLIGHT

what is that thing crawling all over death mountain?!

what is happening OH my god!!! so much!! everything!!! all at once!!!!!!!!

wait

that’s the divine beast

oh my god

oh my god.

oh my god it’s so big but even still it looks tiny in comparison to the mountain, oh my god

omg it gets cold up here only at night?? omg

NO there’s a still guardian up here too ;_;

i’m gonna try to kill it!!! good first try it can’t move and there’s cover RIGHT here

second try really but im stronger now

now, i have bomb arrows and lightning rods

ok lightning rod does nothing, bomb arrows dont work in the rain, but i killed it with shock arrows!!

and it wasnt v hard bc i was behind cover the whole time lol

but like, with those arrows - i used maybe 9 or 10? and that was all i used, i threw a couple of bombs at it too i guess

now to figure out how i even get IN here w/ all this gunk…..

fuck a bokoblin near a cooking pot saw me and accidentally set itself on fire lmao

ok i can’t climb past the blight, i tried, but how the fuck do i get rid of it i dont see any eyeballs )))):

……………………….w ait

this bokoblin has a shield with the hylian crest on it. the HYLIAN crest

these ruins have the red carpet with the double line of gold on the side

i’m crying this was someplace special

i don’t know what it was bc it can’t be the temple of time or hyrule castle but it was someplace real i recognize the style of it so faintly and it’s COVERED IN BLIGHT

oh my god………..this is so Much

ah ok a beam fell when i shot the first eyeball and i was like why arent there anymore?? but apparently i can magnesis it

oh wow i found a piece of a room…….totally trashed, jesus christ

must’ve been a lab or library

omg its thundering outside…..that has nothing to do with zelda but it makes this creepier

THERE’S A GUARDIAN AT THE TOP SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

its not alive tho thank christ

jesus fuck the divine beast is SO BIG and the mountain is still SO MUCH BIGGER i feel so tiny every time i look

anyway it’s 5am and there’s lightning so i gotta unplug for many reasons, this is a fine stopping place, can’t wait to get my ass kicked by that thing and rescue a goron, holy fuck