#I love the hallucination episodes
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The way I start giggling when Amber tries to kill Chase it's so exciting
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it answers questions…
#shaking the writers by the shoulders#WHAT QUESTIONS!! WHAT QUESTIONS!!#and if we take into account the scene from earlier in this episode where she says ‘he cares about you; you care about him. tell him you love#him!’ and THAT’S what causes house to snap and yell enough?#THE HORROR.#house md#greg house#gregory house#hilson#house/wilson#james wilson#hatecrimes md#amber volakis#the IMPLICATIONS!#there was so much to unpack with this arc#that I forget about the little details#like the fact that hallucination!amber sings that song in the bar#and it’s the same one that plays over house & wilson driving away together in the final scene of the show#what does it all mean…
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I don't think people seem to understand that they could've given up. We know fox was blocking bisexual Buck and that probably means they were blocking buddie, so they could've given up. Buddie is a love story. Their devotion to each other is canon. There isn't anything the show can do that's gonna convince me they don't love each other. But they could've given up at any point. Backed off, actually give any other love interest a fighting chance, double down on them being best friends and not make it bigger. They choose not to. They kept adding to this love story as best as they could. They are best friends. They are partners. They are family. They would die for each other but they also have fun together. They have one braincell they keep pingponging between them. They love each other. That's a fact. That will always be a fact. They are each other's person. And now we are at a place where that can be explicitly explored. It's a slowburn. It's a network slowburn. The desire to rip your hair out comes with it but it makes the moment they finally get their shit together that much sweeter. We're getting there. Somehow y'all had more hope when all we had to go on was a couch. Buck is actually queer now. This time last year Buck and Eddie were getting a comphet ending. Now one of them is actually queer. We're gonna get there, but they are not just gonna trip into a relationship because they are too careful with buddie as a friendship to not address the issues and make things natural before getting them together because everyone involved in this madness knows what they have in their hands. They know once they get buddie together it's forever, they're not gonna rush into it now they have actual room to play.
#some of yall never experienced a slowburn in real time and it shows#i watched castle live#do you know how much time i spent wanting to rip my hair out?#castle said he loved kate with all the words and IT STILL TOOK TWO FULL SEASONS TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER#the mentalist? Theresa got engaged to someone else#bones? well booth was head over hells like 5 episodes in but he talks about it STILL TAKES THEM A SEASON AN A HALF TO GET TOGETHER#you gotta learn to enjoy the ride#911#thoughts thoughts thoughts#its 3:30 am i might be hallucinating#dont take me too seriously#its the slowburn to end all slowburns
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help i’ve fallen for another ship comprised of two insane autistic queers that want each other dead despite also being willing to do literally anything for the other even at risk to themselves
#nygmobblepot#i literally never gave a shit about the penguin and the riddler#but the moment my brother makes me watch a show where they are portrayed by theatre nerds who care about the characters#i become obsessed instantly#i would watch the show out of the corner of my eye while my brother and dad were watching it and see oswald and id just think#that little weirdo is the only thing that makes me like this show its so fun when hes on screen#then ed starts showing up more and i start to love his autistic ramblings and general energy#then ed kills a guy and i think fuck i love this show so much#then i see them interact and find out that they are semi canon???#like oswald is canonically in love with ed but the show seems to want you to think that ed just doesn’t reciprocate#but he obviously does and just doesn’t realize at the beginning because he thinks hes straight#but by the end that man is NOT hiding how much he loves oswald#like what the fuck was that hallucination scene if not his concince trying to make him realize how much he loves oswald#and there scene in the last episode in the car???#like that man has finally accepted that hes in love and is finally ready to act on it#anyways rant over they are just like hannigram and danbert and i will never change my mind#also their actors fucking killed in their rolls i love them#and fun fact: edward was cory michal smith’s first role outside of theatre and it fucking shows in the best ways#him being a mostly theatre person just adds so much to edward and makes him just so enjoyable to watch#now the rant is actually over#gotham#gotham tv
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Me enjoying a rewatch of a Red Dwarf episode, having a good time: 🙂
My traitorous brain: Hey, this scene takes place away from Red Dwarf and Starbug, Lister probably doesn't remember it after M-Corp
Me: 😧
#The episode has been on my mind a lot recently. It truly haunts me!!#There's a recently posted fic about M-Corp I absolutely love that brings this up in relation to Rimmerworld (also touches on Terrorform)#but like. imagining some of the other gaps in his memory is a lot#Just off the top of my head when it comes to episodes which contain scenes off Red Dwarf and Starbug:#Justice Legion Meltdown Trojan Thanks for the Memory Lemons DNA Stasis Leak Emohawk#And some of those scenes in said episodes are crazy to think of him not remembering#He doesn't remember having to get married/being told he'll be married in the future or Rimmer first reaching for him when he got hardlight#What about the despair squid hallucinations? Was the dream recorder used to reconstruct his memories? (AKA did he forget The Dream?)#Lemons had a period of the boys traveling for several months that are probably just gone#Does he remember leaving himself as a child?#Ugh!! I can't stand it#Red Dwarf#Dave Lister#Original Post#(P.S. this isn't even considering the implications of how the memories he DID regain were reconstructed or how he got them back#(was it a gradual process or all at once? Which is worse?))#NO WAIT ONE MORE does Red Dwarf contain recordings of the events of Demons and Angels when it was split?#Does he recall the Highs and Lows and what happened to him? Sorry I'll stop now
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s4 episode 23 thoughts
we’re back!! and i appreciate the TW in advance about the sensitive content in this episode from a few followers. thank you very much for the warning! 🙏
but i’m excited to see what is going on today, and i’m sure it’ll be a doozy. let us read the episode description... now how do these agents keep getting involved in crimes that they didn’t commit??
must be CSM. i suspect him always. saves time.
(author's note post episode: woah.... so much happened... i have many questions... and i love mulder and scully very very very much <3)
anyway! let us begin!
okay, yes, i recall after watching the last episode, the beginning of this one started playing, and it was super creepy, and here we are again. very blurry, and it looks like stuff is on fire and warped.
yes, the garbled voices and samantha yelling to mulder as i had accidentally previewed before….. everything is flashing and weird sounding… i do not care for this.
despite being a grown man, when mulder looks in the mirror he sees himself as a child. must be a fever dream.
they see their parents fighting??? mrs. mulder is saying something about “her baby”….
cutscene to a sweaty mulder on the floor!!! and not on the bed.
A BED?! where is he?? this is not his home!!
and his white shirt is covered in BLOOD??? he doesn’t seem to realize this at first!!!!
so he calls scully!!!! at 4:50 on the morning!!! awww poor girl was dead asleep... but she wakes up <3
he’s in a motel room in rhode island?!?!?!? he doesn’t know how tf he got there and whose blood is on him!!!!!
didn't he spend time in rhode island as a kid...
oh i’m invested…….. how does a guy get in this situation…. and what is scully going to do about it?????
whose blood is it!!!!
(cheering at gillian anderson in the intro)
NOW WHO PUT MY BOY IN THIS SITUATION!!!!!
at 6:15 AM scully is pulling into the rhode island motel. THAT is EFFICIENT!!! oh i know she was flooring it to get there so quickly. also it’s april now btw
she is, indeed, going very fast.
his motel door is open….. and the shower is running…. she’s yelling to him
(something very domestic about yelling to someone while they’re in the shower; it makes my heart melt a lil)
but what is less domestic is when he mumbles that he “can’t get warm”, and when she pulls the curtain open he’s curled up, shivering as he sits in steaming hot water!!!
oh sopping wet poor meow meow…. what has been done to you???
she quickly deduces that he is in shock (medical doctor moment!!!) and turns off the water. she tells him to get dry and gets a blanket, and he emerges with just a towel wrapped around his waist, which is a shocking display of vulnerability- but we can unpack that later
she’s absolutely shifting into doctor mode (perhaps my favorite mode of hers) as she asks him if he feels nauseous or dizzy and wraps him in a blanket, looking into his eyes, tilting his chin to glance at every angle of his face
oh shit this is SERIOUS. she pulled out the “track my finger” and “do you know what day it is”, like this is going DOWN. i mean i KNEW it was going down with the bloody shirt and the curled up grown man in the shower. but a doctor is not playing around when they ask you what day it is.
the last thing remembers was talking to her on friday!!! and it’s sunday!!! and he was in his apartment!!! so how tf did he get here???
but he packed a change of clothes… or maybe someone ELSE did?? is it a red herring?? did someone kidnap him???
she quickly finds his gun and TWO ROUNDS HAVE BEEN FIRED???? WHAT!!!
(okay, i knew that was going to happen because i read the episode description, but it’s still wild!!!)
he doesn’t remember anything at all… and she sits down to explain he needs to go to the hospital now
“possibly the early stages of encephalitis”, she says, and oh man, i don’t even want to google that
(but i did. eugh...)
“if this is an aneurysm, it can drop you in a second” <- she is telling him to listen tf up and GO TO A HOSPITAL NOOOOOOOOOW!!!
OHHHH HE FINDS SOMEONE NAMED AMY’S KEYS!!! WHO IS AMY?????
so he drove here and checked into the motel on saturday…. and there is a car is filled with blood in the parking lot!!!!! with a registration citing amy and david.
oh my GOD he won’t go to the hospital DUDE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? YOU COULD LITERALLY DIE AT ANY SECOND, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN AN INVESTIGATION WHERE YOU’RE BARELY EVEN THERE??? WHY DON’T YOU THINK SCULLY CAN HANDLE IT ON HER OWN?? GODDAMN IT, LET HER TAKE CARE OF IT, I’M SICK OF YOUR BULLSHIT, YOU ARE JUST GOING TO BE A HINDRANCE TO ANY PROPER INVESTIGATION, YOU PISS ME OFF.
okay.
there are tons of photos with faces cut out??? carefully cut out by some guy who is dripping blood onto them. which is... unpleasant.
ohhhh they show up at amy and david’s house and the housekeeper doesn’t know where they are… this is not an auspicious sign. he asks to look at a painting?? maybe he went to the place in the painting before???
he knows this house… but he doesn’t know why. it’s the house amy grew up in and it’s ALL SHE PAINTS???? which is absolutely wild. they go into a room where she’s painted it over and over and over countless times. i mean, i appreciate, having a muse but this was just next level dedication.
it’s near his old summer house!!!! see, i knew rhode island would be relevant.
scully is driving him around in his big leather jacket. they find the house, which is very much falling apart, BUT HE WINCES AND GRABS HIS HEAD!!!! OH GOD!!!
he’s getting visions from childhood of his parents screaming about orders, and it not just being him, and YOUNG CSM (!!!) it must be from when they learned samantha was going to be taken as insurance that his father wouldn't expose the project, and it caused his parents to divorce
he wakes up on the ground with scully over him (ohhhhh…….) and she carefully props him up. and it was “some kind of clonic event”
my heart does flips when she is doctoring. but don't worry about that.
“i feel… really… good right now” <- LMAOOOOO actually the funniest possible thing you could say after such an event happening
but he proceeds ahead with investigating the house
ohhh the score is spooooky and suspenseful… oh my god, scully finds someone with a gunshot wound in her heart!!!!!!!!!!! it must be amy!!! and her husband who is dead nearby!!!!!
then who tf was the guy cutting out the pictures!!!!
the cops have arrived, and they want to speak to mulder, but scully says she refuses “to believe that you had any part in this” (and that’s what a bestie is for)
the detective is clearly not believing that the first time mulder saw the victims was when he walked into their house with their keys that he somehow had. which yeah. okay, it does look bad. but listen. sometimes things look bad that aren’t in reality.
scully refuses to let them take him down to the station!!! he is getting his ass to the hospital NOW!! even if the police take him, okay??? he is going there.
YEAH, YOU TELL THEM!!!!!
and scully wants to take a look at the bodies. she tells mulder do NOT say anything else to the cops. somehow i don’t think he will follow this advice.
scully has her doctorly gear on and oh. she’s snipping something from amy’s head. oh god. hole. in her head. not from gun. whewwww.
NASTY. NASTY BAD. shoutout props team, i repeat as my grounding mantra. do you think the actors ever gagged filming this stuff?
that was a lot. she wants two examinations on her and to know WHY they died.
head. hole. not good.
mulder has a bandage on his arm indicating he must have been discharged from the hospital, and his he's laying his head on the table as detective curtis brings him a paper bag. mulder looks very sad.
at first i thought the detective was bringing him lunch, which would be a surprisingly thoughtful gesture, and perhaps indicate a shred of humanity in him. but no. he says that what is in the bag reveals that mulder knew the victims AND that they were shot execution style with his weapon!!!
it’s his bloody shirt… the bloody shirt from before. with both of the victim's blood on it!!!
oh man… he explains that he does not remember but then he gets read his miranda rights…. NOOOOOOOOOO MY BOY
he has his hands cuffed and is in the bright orange jumpsuit :( free him!!!
but scully comes in and says she’s going to get him out of there!!!! “you’re a doctor, not a lawyer, scully” <- mulder, heed my words: do not doubt her power.
wow… times have changed. scully had to explain what ketamine was to detective curtis. because it was in amy’s blood. had it aired today, we would not need such a disclaimer.
he's baffled because ketamine is a veterinary drug and hey, mulder? why the hell do you know that.
(ohhhh, he probably learned it in mind school back in oxford. i was wondering if he was the kind of rich where he had horses, and therefore knew about their treatments)
detective curtis sucks. they find k in mulder and he doesn’t even give a damn. rude as hell.
(he does that gesture with his head that means “let’s talk away from the others”) "scully, you don’t have to do this” <- LIKE SHE WOULD EVER *NOT* DO THIS???? AND JUST LET HIM SIT IN JAIL????
ohhhhh she straight up tells the detective that he’s jailing an innocent man…. read him for filth!!!!!!
WAIT!!! one of the other cops is the one who was cutting out all of the photos!!!!
he pulls out a gun and fires?? hey man. what's going on.
it takes medical scully .5 seconds to determine that he is dead. and this guy also has that mark on his head that amy had!!!
this officer, now deceased, had become a joke for believing in aliens and other such creatures. scully says that the cutting himself out of the photos speaks to mental illness… and she finds a magazine of abductees with amy on the cover!!!
so both amy and this other officer had a deep puncture wound that went to their brain, and she thinks that they knew each other…
mulder is writhing about on the prison floor, while he recalls CSM and his father arguing, and fleeing to find samantha. and he remembers his mother beating on his father’s chest, yelling “not samantha, not samantha”…. then he shakes on the bars and screams for the guard!!!!!!!
he spent all night demanding to talk to scully!!!! and he just recently shut up!!!! wow!!! that's determination!!!
he’s sitting in the prison cell… “i heard you didn’t get much sleep”, she says when she walks in.
and this make me so emotional. she wants him to be okay SO badly, and they do this thing where they act like everything is totally fine and chill when things couldn’t be worse, and it makes me teary. they're trying to preserve normalcy, but doing so with a grin as if to say, what even is normal anymore? it's part of their whole "saying so much with so little" th
he says he did not kill those people, and she believes him, and she’s gathered enough proof to support that. OKAY DETECTIVE!!!!!
the blood splatter on the shirt doesn’t match the point of entry of the bullets!! so then how did the blood get on there????
scully theory time: amy believed she was an abductee, and perhaps she had contacted mulder. and her repeated house paintings were evidence of the treatment she was undergoing.
she believes they were suffering from “waxman-geschwind syndrome” (i love that she knows this <3), which leads to vivid dreams
it is also called dostoyevsky syndrome because he had it!!! fun facts with scully <3
but now he needs to know why he was there and why he didn’t stop the violence with amy and david, because he’s mulder and of course everything is his fault. but also, i don’t blame him, because i would feel the same way if i learned something horrific happened in my presence and i could not recall it.
she has arranged for his arraignment, and scully parks haphazardly in the parking lot of the psychologist’s office where amy was receiving treatment. and they find his car!! covered in dust!!
they go to speak with dr. goldstein, who says he hasn’t met mulder before.
dr. goldstein uses light and sound to access repressed memories, which sounds evil. “it’s unconventional but it’s not invasive” <- girl what would the FDA say?!?!?
(this show relies an awful lot on repressed memories. how do you even know if you have any of those?)
the doctor insists that he is very ethical and seems deeply offended at their implications that what he does is morally unsound, but scully looks deep into his eyes and said “i know what you do”…. ohhh girl what do you know!!!
OH!! mulder remembers coming here WITH amy!!! so the doctor totally lied to their faces. and scully says he GAVE amy and mulder the ketamine, and whatever else he did started the blackouts and seizures
see, this is interesting, because now we know that ketamine can be useful in medical treatment of mental illness, but clearly dr. goldstein was just playing mad scientist.
she asks why tf he would undergo those treatments, but bam!!! more mulder doubled over in pain, recalling his parents fighting. he falls to his knees
“i’m fine” “no, i’m not going to take that for an answer. you do not belong at work. you need to be somewhere where you can be monitored” <- YES TELL HIM!!!!!!! stop messing around!!!
(everyone cheered)
the height difference here is super visible and it looks almost like a foot between their heads and it’s soooo <3
“you are a danger to yourself and a danger to me” <- OHHHH yes. convince him to do it for your sake if he won't do it for himself.
OHHHH BUT HE DOESN’T WANT THE SYMPTOMS TO STOP!!! he says he’s remembering what happened after his sister was taken away!!
well, maybe we can remember from a hospital bed?
he asks for the car keys and she keeps refusing, and just when i think she’s going to give in and let him have them, she says they can go to his mom's house, “but i’m driving” and that’s right queen you do NOT let that man behind a wheel!!!!!
off to his mother’s house
surprise mulder visit!!! he is barreling right in. she seemed so happy to see him... but this changes.
“you’ve kept things from me, you’ve kept secrets from me” ohhh she asks scully wtf is wrong with him…
HE SAYS THAT TAKING SAMANTHA WASN’T THEIR CHOICE??? he wants to know what happened that night and he doesn’t want scully to hear…. damn, that’s crazy
so they go in a room and he ACCUSES HIS MOM OF CHEATING ON HIS DAD WITH CSM??? okay, so i thought i was seeing hints of this in the past, but like. they could have just been friends, so i didn’t think that much of it. clearly there was some sort of fondness, the genre of which is yet to be determined.
he’s saying that she betrayed their family to do so, and she SLAPS HIM ACROSS THE FACE!!!
“who is my father?” “what do you want, to kill him again?” <- OH MY FUCKING GOD????
(this is absolutely WILD because we know how much of a momma's boy he is, how he hugs her and tucks her in bed and kisses her forehead and has doted on her ever since her stroke; to hear him say all of this is deeply shocking and indicative of how unwell he is)
she says she won’t answer any more questions and he’s bleeding from the forehead….
he snuck out and took the car??????? LEAVING SCULLY IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE?????
what are they supposed to talk about!!!!!!!!
he rolls up to dr. goldstein's office and asks what he did to him.
“i did nothing wrong” “you put a HOLE in my HEAD” <- medical malpractice lawsuit is loading, but that line delivery killed me
turns out he put a hole in his head to electrically stimulate his brain?? and mulder says to do it again???
absolutely nothing should ever touch your brain imo, but what do i know?
he shoots mulder up with some k and lays him down, straps him into a contraption and turns it on.
it seems he remembers his mother being choked?? but you can’t tell by who because everything is so distorted. WHO HURT HER??
now goldstein is strapping him down even more, and putting ANOTHER HOLE IN HIS BRAIN (!!!), and it’s reminding me of that terrible drill from scully’s abduction that kept inching closer and closer
when a ton of cops show up to arrest goldstein!!! he leaves behind a bloody seat, but no mulder??? where did he go!!!!!
scully is here now too and goldstein wouldn’t snitch so scully is off to question him.
HOLY FUCK he won’t answer so she straight up GRABS HIM!!!!! until he says mulder said he was going to “exorcise his demons”
(she was wild for that one but also entirely understandable. you don't lay hands on him around her and walk away unscathed)
SO HE GOES BACK TO RHODE ISLAND??? where the events of that particular evening that keep being replayed again and again in his head went down.
the house is surrounded by cops, and she explains that the officers must NOT SHOOT, and he needs immediate medical care, and she is going in, so watch tf out.
it’s so so so quiet as she walks in…. she starts to yell his name and he says “leave me alone, scully” (he's out of his mind but could still recognize her voice... something touching there)
she opens the door and he’s in some kind of trance??!
WHAT THE FUCK HE HAS HIS GUN????? near his mouth. oh no. oh no oh no oh no.
(the hallucination cgi that gets cut between these very serious scenes almost makes me giggle)
he turns the gun on scully and says “GO AWAY” oh my fucking god…
“are you going to shoot me, mulder? is that how much this means to you?” (he nods)
he’s not himself he’s not himself he’s not himself he’s not-
she tries to tell him that he’s on powerful drugs, and he doesn’t even know if those memories are his, and this isn’t the way to the Truth, and put down the gun, but then he FIRES TWO SHOTS???
the police are rushing in, and he is still firing!!!!!!!!
he shot them all into the window?? or wall or something??? and he slumps over
and she rests her body on him oh my GOD. oh my GOD.
the vulnerability there of her shielding him with her whole body while he relives his worst memories (that may or may not have actually happened) in a hallucinogenic haze....... her need to heal him... and his need to protect her coming through even though moments before he was ready to kill her......... hold on. we need to think on it.
we end with a scully episode wrap up, which i feel we haven't gotten in a while. she says he was cleared of wrongdoing, but he still has no recollection of what went down that night. and his seizures have subsided.
“but i’m concerned that this experience will have a lasting effect. agent mulder undertook this treatment hoping to lay claim to his past- that by retrieving memories lost to him, he might finally understand the path he’s on. but if that knowledge remains elusive, and if it’s only by knowing where he’s been that he can hope to understand where he’s going, then i fear agent mulder may lose his course, and the truths he’s seeking from his childhood will continue to evade him… driving him more dangerously forward in impossible pursuit”
(fade to black)
SO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT.
hold on. there are a MILLION things to unpack here.
this episode really solidified to the utterly batshit lengths he is willing to go to try and reach the truth, to the point beyond self-destruction into like, self nuclear annihilation. like we just need to let that sink in for a second. holy fuck. i mean i KNEW he was haunted and i knew he was tortured and i knew he was going to devote every minute of his life to getting the Truth, but the recklessness with which he does so reached new heights here. he let some guy give him DRUGS and drill into his BRAIN. what the actual fuck bro.
also, what actually happened?? who actually killed those people and put him in their bloody shirt?? it’s left entirely ambiguous. beyond the visuals of CSM, there are no other clues. did the victims end their own lives with his gun after remembering stuff they had suppressed from dr. goldstein’s brain tickler??? or was he poorly framed? and if so by who and how and why??
and also. he thinks his dad might not be his dad???? can you IMAGINE him knowing that it is CSM’s blood in his veins??? holy FUCK bro. his mother seemed DEEPLY offended so i don’t feel like that is actually the case but you never know with these things. i'm going to assume those were the drugs talking because we know how much he loves his momma, but for that chilling thought to even enter his head, god, the turmoil and self-loathing it must have produced.
and scully… this was a mulder episode, but it also really was her episode. her doctoring, her sleuthing- she gets him out of trouble that someone worked overtime to get him into by discounting all of the evidence carefully constructed against him- her putting her foot down and saying get to the hospital, i'm not going to stand by and let this keep happening, and then putting herself in front of the gun for him, risking it all to try and bring him back from the brink. her covering him with her own body, holding him down, being there for him as he witnessed his demons dancing in from of him.
her grabbing goldstein by the neck, saying she will not lose anything else, not after so much has been taken from her; dammit she’ll grab what she has left and sink her claws in, and help who gets between her and her loved ones, be it a shitty detective or a grand murder conspiracy, because she’ll calculate the most efficient way to tear everything to the ground and then hold steady in the ruins
wow. need to sleep on this one for sure. it went absolutely CRAZY. but again, s4! it’s so dark! where is the laughter??
so, what do i think after approximately 24 hours have passed since i watched this episode? i enjoyed it! my mutual phoebe pointed out how scully is the one who is in charge here, which is a big change from her loss of autonomy that characterizes the rest of the season. and i have to agree. it felt good to watch her in her element, be it solving crime or diagnosing niche psychological conditions or putting her life on the line for mulder. again, it was centered on his demons, but were these not also scully's demons? watching someone she loves lose who they are under the influence of something that cannot be controlled? and the realization that he was desperate enough to consider such a thing an option in the first place? watching her best friend suffer- is that not also a form of torture?
it was nice to see him tortured for a change. it's been a while! and it's so interesting to watch.
so i liked the episode, but i probably wouldn't get down with a casual rewatch. again, a bit too heavy for kicking my feet up and relaxing. but i thought it was very interesting, a fascinating look into both of their characters, and as a whump addict i am deeply pleased.
#still confused on what actually happened with amy and david but i guess we'll never know#and i would like to know what was real from his hallucinations and what wasn't but i doubt we'll ever learn#imagine if CSM is his father tho. like just think on it.#absolutely wild.#doctor scully you are the coolest woman ever. i know she could cure me#save me scully loving her best friend so tenderly and yet refusing to talk about it. save me.#really good episode!!!! but not light and casual funtime viewing#juni's x files liveblog#the x files#txf
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So that’s like not Lestat right…right he’s not really at the theatre right……..that’s not him he WOULDNT RIGHT…..he wOULDNT DO THAT…righttttt…damn
#interview with the vampire#spoilers#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv s2#amc iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#claudia#Louis hallucinating him right…he’s gotta be#OMG IT IS#I just watched the last few minutes of the video where the cast break down some of the scenes and Sam just confirmed it that’s crazy#yes I’m typing this as I was watching#THIS IS NOT A HALLUCINATION I REPEAT..honestly kinda crazy..im still confused on the scene from last episode though#where Armand was connecting to lestat and lestat told him to say that he loves Louis…super iffy ngl
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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
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the show might’ve glossed over canonically psychotic beard but i didn’t
#beard having hallucinations is so…#idc if it was just a plot device for the episode.#I love you that one schizophrenic beard fic
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@corxner cont from here
it was late in the night when Faust appeared to his table, stirring his attention. truth be told, Oliver wasn't sure if Faust was a figment of his imagination or not---everything seemed to blur together as he stares at him from where he sat. he'd come here after another one of his episodes, needing something to ease the pain in his head and in his heart. Oliver wasn't good with alcohol, but it was preferable to dealing with everything else. actually, he could probably use a smoke right now, that might help, too. maybe it would quiet the voices in his head.
you're not getting away from me, Oliver, a voice whispered in his ear causing him to tremble, fidgeting uncomfortably as he lifted his glass and took another drink. "are you real?" he hears himself ask, squinting his eyes at Faust. even if he touched him right now, that wouldn't tell him anything. some of his hallucinations could be so real that he could feel them. how un-fucking-fair. it would be easier if he could tell the difference between reality and what wasn't. unfortunately, at this time, he seemed uncertain as he leans back in his seat. "Faust... that's your name, right?" well, might as well indulge the hallucination---if it is in fact an hallucination and if not, then he supposes he has someone to actually talk to for once. go figure. either he's talking to a former student or he's a crazy man talking to an empty seat, things couldn't possibly be worse than they already are.
he sips at his drink carefully. he's halfway done with it as the question rings in his ears. he lets out an amused chuckle, waving his hand in dismissal. "i'm fine, but sure---a-a ride h-home wouldn't be so bad if you're offering."
#corxner#( * v. if i cannot be loved i must be feared // main. )#i continued in a new thread so i hope this works for ya c:#obviously we don't have to use icons since you don't really have a fc bUT i wanted to use one for this so u could see hugh's pretty face#anyway i hope this is okay :D#i'll respond to ur memes soon <3#hallucinations tw#im only tagging it because he's uncertain if Faust is real or not bc he's had an episode so i hope that makes sense
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I love how many episodes of Voltron are just Shiro discovering new flavors and varieties of “worst day of his life this week”
#I love him so much tho#watching the s1 finale and like > Allura threw him into the escape pod and got captured bc of him > coran blames him (then apologizes) > he#blames himself > gets in psychic battle with zarkon > loses > black lion kicks him out > jet pack breaks > has to fight through ship >#doesn’t have a bayard bc zarkon does > etc etc etc#>fights Haggar and hallucinations of HIMSELF >clawed#and there are sooooo many episodes where he is having The Worst Time objectively (i love watching it tho)#Holly v*ltron tag
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Hi I'm here to drop a random headcanon
Higuchi will sometimes come into work sporting a fever, but pays no mind to it up until she either collapses or gets delirious enough for someone else to notice.
ANON MARRY ME....thank you for the higuchi headcanon 😭 i love this i really would die for the over working trope...Higuchi takes her work with Akutagawa very seriously and she will absolutely not rest until her work for the day is done!! Akutagawa tends to be oblivious to things like this and most of the time won't notice until it's too late but Gin and Tachihara pay close attention to her bc of her past tendencies to do this 💔 they both try their best to convince her to rest when she's overdoing it (Gin usually ends up winning) and they'll make her rest on the couch in the little break room they have unless it's bad enough that she needs right stay at the infirmary (they'll always take her there if she collapses). i also love the idea of her getting too good at hiding it. no one noticing until she starts acting really strange (asking questions that don't make any sense, or crying with no explanation) and that sends everyone into panic mode like okay shit she is not okay right now
#higuchi anon!#ugh my wife i love higuchi sm#im pretending the new episode doesnt exist#all my favorite characters are happy#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd#illness#sick#ill#fever#higuchi#black lizard#akutagawa#gin#tachihara#higugin#headcanons#hcs#hallucinations#high fever#ask box#bsd headcanons
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great part about having schizo in my url now is i dont have to explain The Episodes™️ anymore. glad i stopped deleting them entirely in an effort to be like Hey it's okay to be mentally ill online. but also like... "im not usually like this" yes you are, you just experience more or less symptoms or different ones at different times. anyway so who's the fucking guy that keeps running back and forth between the only two dark rooms in the house and would he like to introduce myself so we can fight or are you just gonna be rude
#i actually really dont want to meet him! this is for the gag! i do not want to cower in fear until i pass out from sleep deprivation pls#my bedtime alarm just went off so ill try and go to sleep but this is gonna be ROUGHHHH#(girl who will fall asleep in the bright light shaking cold and afraid of something that isnt even real)#(the best part is if you close your eyes you still hallucinate! fun fact! and then they TALK if they werent already!)#also fun thing an old therapist i had pointed out: when im in an episode my use of pronouns gets weeeeiiiiird#once i apparently got kind of aggressive after i said “we” and he said “we? who else am i talking to?” AND I DONT REMEMBER THE REST OF THE#CONVERSATION :) YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS KIDS!!#love it here actually i think it's so cool i get to be in a horror movie. im being dead serious. lol.. dead. serious. okay im done#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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i feel like the funniest thing about the bear s2 for me vis a vis the odd romance plot (and trying to figure out why it was done in the precise way it was) is that the closest we got to a sex scene if I'm remembering correctly was a strange purple-lit under the covers couple of flashes of difficult to decipher limbs. they coulda just been wrestling or hanging out, hell it coulda just been him in there or a piece of his imagination or a very windy day. the lack of attempting to inject sexual passion or chemistry into their relationship was fascinating and not because they were trying to give us ace carmen (rip that would be actually great). just threw out A Girl Template and did the absolute barest minimum to remind us she exists and "is great" according to occasional reviews from other characters and completely neglected to write. chemistry.
#he's aroace in my soul#carmen berzatto#the bear#the bear season 2#listen this is not even really a complaint im not interested in complaining it's simple poking at it because it's the odd man out#i am just fascinated that in a show that i think otherwise has such intensely Precise connections written between people#down to the single-episode or even single-scene encounters#this relationship is floating in the wind and not in an intentional-looking way (at least not as of end s2)#they love each other??? they do???? Really?????? is she even real because i think he's been hallucinating her the whole time#and that's why she doesn't exist outside of his scenes of domestic clichés#barring a couple of insert shorts of her Doing Doctoring#contrast richie and his ex-wife sticking their tongues out at each other and make silly faces: oh yeah they're in love i get it#also i mused her as a foil for sydney/the restaurant and the restaurant... maybe#sydney?? claire's just -- at best -- a shadow of a shadow in sidneys narrative#sidney clocked her once and then went *nah im outta here* and she was right
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god i wish season 2 of h2o wasnt unwatchably misogynist
#my posts#h2o#put it on for bg noise. got to my least favorite episode ever of all time [irresistible]#the whole season is rly bad tho. charlottes entire character is jst. jealous bitch stereotype nothing else#like yeah yeah shes meant to be dislikable. do you maybe want to meditate on why they wrote her the way they did any deeper than 'on purpose#'? bc it was on purpose. im aware of that. pls think deeper.#this isnt a take ive seen on tumblr mostly jst in the youtube comments btw#like. the character setup of granddaughter of the original trio is so interesting. but they hate women love loses#also i HAAAAAAAAATE ash. everytime hes on screen i have to pause to go watch sth else for a minute he makes me so mad#girl you look like live action william dunbar Go In The Dark. his mra talking points are so. i haaaaaaate it emmas such a butch lesbian 😭😭#my less popular take is that i dont like zikki either sorry. i think theyre both gay. i think they are wlw mlm bffs who shop at hot topic#god. the straight coupling literally ruins any sense of like. individuality they had in the first season [which still suffers from misogyny]#why write character development when you can jst do the same relationship drama over and over again#also i hate how the color grading got darker and less saturated in an attempt presumably to market towards older kids. looks bad#this is why s2 never got a rewrite in my hallucination doc. i have Ideas but theyre basically literally removed from canon entirely#i had an iced coffee so now im Going#<-he cant handle caffiene well but loves the taste
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As the #1 Psychotic Eleventh Doctor truther around here, we're really not winning with Daemon Targaryen's psychosis huh? My man really had to go for the guilt-induced hallucinations trope…
#praying that tomorrows episode doesn't make it any worrrrse xo#ableism#saneism#matt smith#eleventh doctor#im gonna politely NOT put this in the Daemon tag. I still have love for him. even if ive never posted about House of the Dragon before#mmkay headcanoning this away#“arent the hallucinations of the war doctor a manifestation of guilt” no its bullying 11 about his top insecurities its a BIG difference#sorry just anticipating that thought might cross somebody mind#daemon is Right and Correct to feel guilty about leaving Rhaenyra to make his own claim :(#I hate this MOST. for the Master its “he's bad because hes psychotic”. for Daemon it's “hes psychotic because he's bad.”#this same coin— do ya see its two very ableist sides?#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#words by seaweed
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