#I know I'm really fucking privileged that I can even mask

[justletmeon12]

Got chewed out this week for, among other things, giving the impression that I think I know more about autism than neurotypical psychologists.

Pretending to be neurotypical at work is really fucking annoying sometimes.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

you think kankri and cronus

like all the dancestors, kankri and cronus mirror their counterparts (and as we all know, karkat and eridan are soul mates), but the brief interaction we do see of them makes them seem pretty toxic for each other. i think it's funny for that reason though!

Karkat and Kankri both love going on long, endless rants and walls of text, but where Karkat fills his spiels with self-loathing, Kankri fills his with incredible smugness and self-satisfaction (often calling his spiels "sermons" or "lectures" before catching himself and correcting them to "discussions" or "conversations," which have a less one-sided "i'm right and you're wrong" connotation). Moreover, where Karkat loves all his friends, and masks that under disdainful insults and screaming obscenities, Kankri tends to hold his friends in contempt, masking that under kind language and politeness.

KANKRI: And really, it's every9ne's 6usiness t9 examine their privilege, even 6urgundies, wh9 may 6e su6ject t9 the pitfall 9f 6elieving inc9rrectly there are n9ne 9n the scale 6eneath them wh9m they enj9y certain privileges 9ver, which 9ff-spectrum tr9lls will never kn9w, such as th9se identifying as 9ther6l99ds 9r caste-multiples, "p9ly6l99ded", any wh9 hem9gl96ically ID as having a caste which manifests n9where (as yet kn9wn) in any9ne physically, 9r f9r that matter 9ffspecs wh9 physically d9 p9ssess such a 6l99d type, 9r "mutants" (VERY pr96lematic term, highly triggering t9 s9me, 6e warned), such as y9u and I, Karkat.

Translation: lowbloods think they have it SO HARD, try being a mutant 🙄

KANKRI: I just think there is inherent danger in muddying the waters 9f disc9urse 6y intr9ducing s9cial issues which are suspect at 6est, thus c9nsuming crucial res9urces fr9m the limited cache 9f rhet9ric which pr9pels these narratives. And furtherm9re, 9ne c9uld argue it's m9re than a little pr96lematic, 9ffensive even, f9r y9u t9 6e appr9priating the lexic9n 9f sensitivity used t9 advance awareness 9f maj9r issues, thus reducing it t9 the level 6uzzspeak and pseud9science. It makes it m9re difficult f9r th9se 9f us wh9 are genuinely f9cused 9n p9sitive change t9 6e taken seri9usly, that's all. PORRIM: Appro+priating?? #That's no+t #what that even #means? PORRIM: PSEUDOSCIENCE??? #Yo+u did no+t just… KANKRI: I'm s9rry, I just d9n't think there's much there. We aren't like humans, wh9se species 6izarrely en9ugh includes highly specialized r9les f9r 69th sexes in the pr9cess 9f repr9ducti9n, and s9 this naturally had s9cial ramificati9ns f9r the way their civilizati9n ev9lved. 6ut that's n9t h9w it w9rks f9r us, s9 I fail t9 see h9w gender fact9rs int9 the discussi9n in a way that can 6e effectively and rati9nally pr96lematized. Where is the r99m f9r unexamined privilege in the dich9t9my? I d9n't see it. And appr9priating the talking p9ints and awareness-raising tactics f9r du6i9us issues like this is, frankly, fr9wned up9n, t9 put it p9litely. Such appr9priative gestures 9nly serve t9 marginalize and invalidate th9se su6ject t9 seri9us, real life struggles and 9ppressi9n, and I guess I'm a little disapp9inted t9 see y9u 6eing s9 6lithely and inappr9priately appr9priat9ry. #Fr9wned up9n #Fr9wns all ar9und #Welc9me t9 fr9wn t9wn PORRIM: Kanny, I'm starting to+ feel just a little bit triggered by all this "appro+priatio+n" bullshit. #Trigger warning: #Abo+ut to+ kick yo+ur tall pantsed ass KANKRI: 9h! My sincere ap9l9gies. I sh9uld have d9ne a 6etter j96 tagging my statements, 6ut f9r future reference, it's helpful t9 alert y9ur c9nversati9nal partners t9 y9ur triggers well in advance. Sh9uld I g9 fetch y9ur m9irail t9 help settle y9u d9wn? And if s9, wh9 exactly w9uld 6e filling that quadrant t9day? #It's the may9r, right? #G9tta 6e the may9r

Translation: Stop trying to steal my spotlight by bringing up your own social justice pursuits. Shut the fuck up. Oh, are you offended? Maybe you should go cry to your moirail. Slut. God I hate women.

KANKRI: 9n the 9ther hand, if I'm 6eing h9nest, I've f9und Mituna's entire existence t9 6e a pretty pr96lematic impediment t9 the advancement and 9verall awareness 9f a6leism and its painful manif9ld c9nsequences f9r una6ilitied pers9ns. The speech impediment, frankly, I c9uld d9 with9ut, and I'm 6y n9 means ecstatic 9ver his t9rrential 6ig9try and h9stility. 9n the 9ne hand, I want t9 6e sensitive t9 him as a pers9n and as a friend, 6ut 9n the 9ther, what kind 9f message d9es his 6ehavi9r send? And frankly, I'm n9t crazy a69ut the helmet, either. MITUNA: W4LT5 WR00NG W17H MY H4ML37 8( KANKRI: N9thing, friend, it's a really c99l helmet and it's a g99d l99k f9r y9u. 6ut are we n9w t9 assume that all th9se wh9 are stricken with y9ur particular disadvantage9n will 6e similarly pr9ne t9 require such headgear, due t9 falling d9wn and hitting their heads frequently? MITUNA: 8U7H 1 D0 F4LL D0WN 4ND H157 MY H34D FR3QUN3UN74NY KANKRI: 9h, I kn9w y9u d9, and I think y9u sh9uld c9ntinue wearing it f9r y9ur safety, particularly if y9u c9ntinue t9 insist 9n fl9undering a69ut 9n y9ur danger9us t9y. It's m9re a69ut the unf9rtunate message y9u are sending 9verall, with certain aspects 9f y9ur pers9nality and existence, that's all. MITUNA: 1M 50RRY KANKRI: As a friend, I w9uldn't want t9 change anything a69ut y9u, well, n9t m9st things. I just think y9u may n9t 6e d9ing y9urself 9r th9se wh9 are similarly disadvantaged any fav9rs with, what I'm h9ping, is a perfectly inn9cent array 9f traits and mannerisms. 8ut again, I say this with all due sensitivity. MEENAH: vantas youre being a shit dont talk about him like that

Translation: Mituna, you're such a goddamn embarrassment, I wish everything about you was completely different.

The big difference between Beforus and Alternia is also the definition of "culling," which on one meant killing and the other meant coddling. Naturally, this is its own form of oppression, as the longer-lived highbloods still hold great power over the lives and fates of those deemed cull-worthy, which includes a lot of lowbloods, and definitely mutants like Kankri who didn't have a lusus. However, it creates a different kind of mindset from that of more standard abuse, like what Karkat suffered for his off-spectrum nature - where Karkat spent every day fearing for his life and cursing himself:

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS. As was previously mentioned, it is your WRIGGLING DAY, which is barely even worth mentioning. It is an anniversary, if anything, to lament the faults of your existence, of which there are assuredly plenty.

Kankri was experiencing the opposite: being told that his mutation made him exceptional, made him special, made him MORE worthy of attention and praise than other people. At the same time, his agency was taken away from him, but the thing is, being 13 when he started the game, I don't necessarily think he'd have missed that - around the age of 13 is when kids START to crave agency, and he got it by playing the game. Kankri's dialogue suggests to me that he genuinely believes in his superiority to the people around him, more in line with being spoilt.

This is why, although he talks a big game about how bad casteism is, and how you shouldn't say slurs because they're offensive, he still unironically uses the term "Royal-V" to refer to violet bloods and chastises Mituna for calling Meenah a wader, which is an anti-seadweller (and anti-seadweller apologist) insult. Sure, he acknowledges within that chastisement that because Meenah and Royal-V's DO have privilege, the weight of the insult is not exactly the same, but then he follows up by saying that he wishes everything about Mituna was different, to the point MEENAH feels the need to defend him.

This is because Kankri is a fucking wader.

If you'll notice, he's actually quite agreeable and sympathetic to Meenah (despite Meenah being a confirmed bully, especially to the team rustblood):

KANKRI: Wh9a, Meenah. I didn't see y9u c9me in. Y9u sh9uld have c9me say hell9. ... KANKRI: I've als9 heard y9u're recruiting mem6ers f9r a militia? An9ther 69ld endeav9r. N9t surprising, th9ugh. 6ef9re y9u em6ark, I d9 h9pe y9u'll set aside at least several sweeps t9 listen t9 s9me 9f my…

KANKRI: And Meenah, while I can understand y9ur frustrati9n 9ver 6eing ver6ally assaulted under any circumstance, it is incum6ent 9n me t9 remind y9u that Mituna requires a certain am9unt 9f special c9nsiderati9n and m9re than a little patience. Please try t9 resist taking his 6ait, which I'm guessing is m9stly well intended(?), 6ef9re its c9ntenti9us undert9w pulls y9u further int9 an exchange laden with deeply pr96lematic expressi9ns 9f a6leism, a6leist slurs, and 9ther such manifestati9ns 9f unc9nsci9na6ly unchecked a6ility privilege.  #a6leism #a6ility privilege #6ait #undert9w #are the aquatic terms helping?

... And he's nice to Cronus. I just don't think it's a coincidence that Kankri is super mean and shitty to land dwellers, while being super kind to the two sea dwellers on the team, the caste he was presumably culled (raised) by - to the point of emulating their aquatic terms to try and ingratiate himself to them (something Karkat thinks is stupid and cringe.).

KARKAT: (not really.) #SHELLF IMPORTANT ABALONEY? #GODDAMN SEADWELLERS

And that brings us to Cronus. Now, I've written extensively about how Eridan is not actually casteist, but the TL;DR is that Eridan genuinely doesn't treat people differently based on their caste, but it's societally expected of him and he has an overwhelming amount of anxiety about living up to those expectations, so he will say a lot of slurs. He and Feferi are actually the only two highbloods that never say anything disparaging about Karkat's blood color.

In contrast, Cronus is a casteist; where Eridan tries to play up how casteist he is while secretly not being so, Cronus does the opposite and tries to play down how casteist he is while secretly being so.

CRONUS: nowv, please don't tell anyone i said so, but you and i both knowv pretty much all these people should feel honored to go out vwith a guy like me. CRONUS: vwhat being royalty and all, and not evwen slightly put off by dating dowvn on the spectrum. i mean, really, howv much more evwident can i make it to evweryone that im really a cool, progressivwe, easy going dude, vwho doesnt take the social order seriously or buy into any of the stereotypes? first of all, as if the hemospectrum scene isnt 8EYOND played out. #you should be sticking your fork in THAT CRONUS: i barely EVWER evwen bring up my high social status. it couldnt be LESS of a big deal to me, but i think people maybe are still intimidated by it? theyre probably putting me on a pedestal, in spite of all my easy going assurances that my royal lineage is something i nevwer evwen think about. like, no friend, i am just like you. vwe laugh at the same jokes, listen to, vwell, to some extent, the same music… #i at least USED to listen to music you like #does that count? CRONUS: all these cats and kittens, im telling you. theyre alvways drawvn to the freaks and rejects. you havwe to be 8ROKEN in some vway to get a little concupiscent attention. #cats #kittens #freaks #rejects #broken

You got a whole bunch of SEA DWELLER BLING! It's pretty obvious this all belongs to Cronus over there. He's just not wearing it right now so he can convince everyone he doesn't feel like his royalty status is a big deal, even though he does.

Moreover, we get a direct parallel to Eridan's final conversation between him, Feferi, and Sollux, with the interaction Cronus has with Meenah and Mituna - in both cases, the violet-blood has a crush on their fuchsia, while probably having some sort of blackrom thing with the mustard (ashen for Eridan, pitch for Cronus). The differences really highlight how different the two are.

First, Eridan doesn't actually mean all the casteist things he says to Sollux - we know this because he's actually mentioned Sollux twice before, and both times, felt no need to comment on Sollux's lowblood status at all. Eridan is so transparently full of shit that even his own teammates don't think he's actually being casteist, and instead take it as ashenflirting:

ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins ERIDAN: its a matter for royalty only ERIDAN: so keep your mouth closed or ill slit you open ovver my next meal SOLLUX: w/e bro, not iintere2ted. FEFERI: -Eridan, please! I don't want to see any more dueling. FEFERI: Don't try to provoke )(im. It's not like I don't know w)( you're doing! You keep trying to spark a rivalry wit)( )(im to get me to auspiticize between you two, and pull us out of your quadrant! FEFERI: It is t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. It didn't work t)(en and it won't work now!

But while Eridan leads with casteism he doesn't mean, after being rejected by his fuchsia blood, Cronus rounds on Mituna to vent his frustration, revealing HIS real feelings:

CRONUS: i said shut up. do you havwe any idea vwhat a man of my class vwould do if a mustard blood like you spoke to me this vway on alternia? honestly, sometimes i think i vwas hatched in the vwrong univwerse, let ALONE the vwrong body. CRONUS: i am so sick of havwing to pretend to treat you vwith the dignity you vwouldnt deservwe evwen if you COULD count the scars on my forehead. you couldnt tell me the ansvwer if i asked vwhat your favworite number vwas. ... CRONUS: you are a brain damaged reject on a team full of rejects. a rejects reject. i vwould havwe culled you myself if that vword meant vwhat it should havwe on our planet.

Moreover, Eridan is genuinely wracked with emotional anguish basically 24/7, but he refuses to allow anyone else to provide him with emotional support, lashing out at Feferi when she insinuates that she's been taking care of him up to that point.

CC: I can’t look after you anymore. CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME CA: i was totally fuckin fine my ambitions were noble

On the other hand, Cronus outright admits that his constant talk of being a "sensitivwe soul" is bullshit he uses to attract the ladies:

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY CRONUS: no youre not. youre lying. CRONUS: your vwhole bifurcated demeanor is such an act. half the time you are noxious and incomprehensible, and the other half you are mild and contrite? sure, "PAL." CRONUS: as if im not SO on to you. you only pretend to say youre sorry to get girls to like you more. sure seems like pyropes a sucker for the ruse. like im not familiar vwith THOSE tactics. vwho do you think vwrote the book on that??

CRONUS: guess ill attempt ghost suicide YET AGAIN. CRONUS: of course by vwhich i mean, tell people i did, to vwin sympathy points. MITUNA: D0357H H47 W0RK CRONUS: not really.

This isn't to say that Cronus doesn't have legitimate emotional issues - just that they aren't the ones he says that they are. When Aranea is expositing on Cronus to Meenah, she winds up explaining that Cronus used to believe in a prophecy where he was Harry Potter and LE was Voldemort, and that it was his destiny to destroy this evil wizard, but that his team basically bullied that belief out of him:

ARANEA: The 8ard of Hope may seem a little jaded these days, 8ut he once had a deeply a8iding faith in magic, and dedicated himself to 8ecoming a great wizard. He 8ecame convinced he was hatched to defeat an extraordinarily evil magician, one he swore the angels foretold of. [...] I'm unsure why he suffered this crisis of faith, aside from the o8vious reasons having to do with an overall lack of character, or any other redeeming qualities. Perhaps someone talked him out of his 8eliefs. May8e a friend close to him. Or, if one is to 8elieve his fantasy held any water, perhaps someone who was in league with the evil magician. Whatever the case, it was pro8a8ly for the 8est, since pretty much everyone who had half a think pan thought it was all a 8unch of ridiculous nonsense.

Which, you know, given that he was their HOPE player, was probably a not-good thing that they did. Put a pin in this conversation, we'll return to it in a bit.

His humankin stuff is mostly treated as a joke, but it's also a symptom of this - we know that it's actually a portal to something Cronus genuinely feels bad about, because despite complaining about how you need to have something wrong with you to get concupiscent action, he's uncomfortable bringing it up to Meenah.

MEENAH: i heard a rumor you think youre a human now MEENAH: that true CRONUS: its a privwate matter. i dont see vwhy i should havwe to talk about it vwith you, and open myself up to more of your judgmental scorn.

He's a Hope player who lost what he believes in - so his actual emotional problems stem from directionlessness, exacerbated by the fact that he's generally untalented, feels entitled due to his high caste and resentful that it's not being respected, and doesn't seem to have any real goals aside from sleeping with other people (and now he's dead). As a result, he's clung onto this idea that maybe the reason he feels so empty inside is because he's not actually a troll - not wanting to be himself, he tries to be something else.

So let's go back to the pin we put into Aranea talking about how he was talked out of his beliefs. Cronus very nearly reaches self-awareness about how being humankin is just a cover for his actual emotional problems... and then "a friend close to him" - maybe the only friend close to him that he has - talked him out of that epiphany.

KANKRI: Listen, I was d9ing y9u a fav9r. Y9u d9n't need t9 6e dating any9ne wh9 can't appreciate y9u f9r wh9 y9u really are, 9r m9re imp9rtantly, which fantasy versi9n 9f y9urself y9u m9st str9ngly identify with. CRONUS: yeah, youre probably right. she doesnt appreciate me. so fevw of you cats do, really. #evwen the ones vwho literally identify as cats CRONUS: to be honest, she might be right. sometimes i think i might only be saying im a human to get attention. maybe i should givwe it up. KANKRI: I'd 6e extremely disapp9inted t9 hear that, if it were true. That w9uld 6e such a slap in the face t9 all th9se wh9 kn9w themselves t9 6e an alien while trapped in the pedestrian 69dy 9f their 9wn race. It w9uld 6e unspeaka6ly invalidating 9f their struggles and massively triggering t9 their em9ti9ns. #TW #invalidated struggles #triggered em9ti9ns KANKRI: 6ut f9rtunately, I kn9w y9u w9uld never st99p as l9w as that. Y9u understanda6ly have d9u6ts a69ut y9ur feelings and pr96a6ly d9wnplay them as a defense mechanism, since s9 few are prepared t9 rec9gnize the legitimacy 9f y9ur plight. 6ut I am, and I just wanted y9u t9 kn9w that I'm here f9r y9u, and am prepared t9 lecture t9 y9u extensively, I mean, listen t9 y9u extensively, a69ut y9ur ultra-imp9rtant pr96lem. CRONUS: vwowv. thanks, pal. CRONUS: youre right. my feelings really are real. not fake, like the huge disappointing fraud that magic turned out to be. CRONUS: i guess the truth is, deep dowvn i alvways knewv i vwas a 1950s-style human greaser. CRONUS: i just needed to finally be introduced to human culture to make sense of those feelings. KANKRI: W9nderful. I'm s9 happy y9u have f9und the light 9f truth within y9urself. N9w j9in me in tagging 9ur discussi9n with righte9us warnings, as we c9nsecrate y9ur disadvantage in the h9ly annals 9f Pr96lematics.

She also mentions it might have been someone "in league with the evil wizard," which would indicate Damara or Kurloz, but he never mentions Damara even once, and he actually seems to be on neutral terms with Kurloz:

and i vwouldnt dare to intrude on your longstanding moirallegiance vwith kurloz, and not because he scares the shit out of me either. that just really seems to vwork, you and him, doesnt it? i dont get a peep out of him of course, not evwen if im super nice and compliment his hideous hair[.]

So since we literally see Kankri exacerbating Cronus's problem by not only insisting that he not introspect, but expresses that he would be extremely disappointed in Cronus if Cronus did, I'm inclined to believe that the one who talked the Hope player into giving up his Hope beliefs was Kankri.

So what I'm saying is, if Karkat and Eridan are beautiful soul mates who make each other better in basically every way, Kankri and Cronus are incredibly toxic for each other and are in desperate need of a fucking auspice. Somebody please middle leaf these two, they cannot be left alone. Kankri's wader tendencies validate Cronus's entitlement and stagnation, and Kankri loves manipulating Cronus into believing whatever BS Kankri is espousing, because that's how Kankri gets his validation.

Kankri and Cronus means love loses.

Thank you for reading.

[justjesse116]

I'm fuckin mad tonight so; to anyone who doesn't believe Hawks cared about any or all of the League of Villains: Fuck You.

You're going to stand there and tell me that the fucker with the hero complex so strong he dove head first into every danger presented to him didn't at least marginally want to save all of them? Get the fuck outta my face.

He wished to hell Shigaraki hadn't been found by AFO, he wanted to steal Himiko away to do his nails and face masks with her, he would have become Touya's friend to get him away from Endeavor because sometimes your heroes aren't who you thought they were and he's not fucking stupid.

During the timeskip he was absolutely in contact with Mr. Compress and Spinner. Don't fucking piss me off.

You're fucking INSANE if you think he wasn't sympathetic to the LOV at all, actually out of your mind. That man CARES and it's not fucking reserved for 'good' people.

How do I know? Reasons.

Hawks is the most hero to ever hero, and came from a place that no one can argue with me that he wouldn't give literally anyone a chance, let alone anyone with a fucking point.

I'm ready to tear my hair out over this, it's ridiculous. This fucking complex some people have about the only people 'deserving' to be saved have to be model citizens is making me feel violent.

Your privileged ass can stand there and say whatever you want, but if you really think that every person who's committed a crime, not even a violent one, deserves to die, hey, go ahead and turn that back on yourself, you fucking jackass.

[wowcatboys]

Hi, love your writing! Could I perhaps get some headcanons of Hearsteel with a (GN) tattoo artist partner? I'm a tattoo artist (apprentice) myself, and very curious. Thanks! 💕

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HEARTSTEEL /TATTOO ARTIST READER ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ SFW ♡ No TW's ♡ I did Sett, Yone, and Kayn since they are the only HS members I'm writing for right now. ♡ Anon!! I would love to see some of your work sometime if you're comfortable sharing !! <3

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KAYN

Inspired by your art, Kayn buys a shitty tattoo gun off Amazon and messes around with it. He's not serious about tattooing, not really, but he thinks it's super cool that you do it. And, like anything he thinks is cool, he wants to try his own hand at it. (Plus, he wants to impress you. Oh, he may act like the picture of Rhaast he inked into the top-right edge of some practice skin is no big deal, but he actually spent like four hours on it and inside he's just screaming for you to compliment it.)

Protect your practice skin fiercely, because Kayn will absolutely nab some if he's bored. It's not uncommon to pull out a rubber sheet of practice skin and find scratchy sketches of demon masks and glowing eyes.

Kayn lets you tattoo him, as long as he gets to pick the design. He assures you he'll sit well, but it's a lie. He's a squirmy subject. Not because of the pain, mind you—he doesn't care about that. No, he's fidgety at the best of times, and with you so close to him, with you breath and your hands sending tingly heat across his skin? How is he supposed to keep still? Threatening you'll never kiss him again if he doesn't chill the fuck out might do the trick, though. Contemplating a life without good-morning kisses has him doing his damndest to sit still and let you do your work.

While Kayn likes all of your work, he's especially fond of the dark, the creepy, and the ultra-stylized. The more morbid drawings fit his bad-boy image, and the stylized ones? He respects innovation in all its forms, and he loves to see your artistic boldness so plainly expressed.

Kayn often sends you pictures of graffiti that he's proud of. In truth, he does it more for the property damage than artistic expression—but that's besides the point. He's picked up some skills along the way and of course he's going to use them to impress you.

If you ever, ever have a problem client, Kayn will explode in their face. Expect loud words, shoving, maybe a punch or two getting thrown. And if you don't want him exhibiting that kind of behavior in your shop? Well, fine, he can play nice. Just don't be surprised if you find out your little problem client finds themselves with "DUMB FUCKING CUNT" keyed into their car door. Kayn denies any and all knowledge of doing this. "Must've been Rhaast," he claims, but you're not so sure. Either way, it's a warning signal for your future clients to behave.

SETT

After you're sore from a long day shrimp-hunched over someone's leg, you don't even have to ask Sett for a massage. He already knows you're cramping up and he knows just how to make his fingers work. "Lay down," he tells you, and waits for you to get comfy before straddling your back. "Hold still, 'kay? I'm gonna take care of you, don't even worry 'bout it." His strong fingers gently rub at the knots winding up and down your spine, and he smooths the pain from your muscles. And this isn't some five-minutes-and-done back rub, either— he's committed to getting you right. Chat about your day, ask about his. He'll be up there for as long as you need.

Even if he's not interested in getting tattoos yet, Sett still loves your art, and he's willing to commit to something a little less permanent. Any time he's about to leave on tour and won't see you for a few weeks, he asks you to Sharpie a design on him. Whatever you want, wherever you want (just try not to abuse the privilege—he will never forgive you if you draw something embarrassing on his pecs the night before a huge show). He thinks it's sweet to have that little reminder of you etched on his skin. Sett will send you periodic updates of your sketch. If it's holding up well, expect to witness Sett twisting around awkwardly to show you in his daily post-gym selfie. When it's gone? He sends you a photo of blank skin, with a solemn text: "he's dead :(" . Don't worry about the untimely demise of this picture, though—you can draw him another as soon as he gets home!

Sett keeps some of his favorite flash designs of yours framed in his room.

It doesn't matter that he doesn't have any tattoos—if you or your shop sells t-shirts, Sett will wear them, and he'll do it proudly. He loves to represent you. All someone has to do is ask about it and it'll send him on a ten-minute (minimum) rant about his kickass tattoo artist partner, how talented and awesome they are. If you don't have a sleeveless option, though, don't be surprised if the sleeves "mysteriously" disappear.

YONE

Yone is interested in getting some traditional Japanese work done, but not for some time yet. Just know that whenever he's ready to ink up, if you're willing to tattoo in that style, you've got a client for at least a full sleeve, if not two. And when the day comes? Oh, Yone sits like a dream. He's the client from heaven, barely flinching and only taking breaks when you need a second to stretch. It's a bit difficult to convince him to put down his work, though, so be prepared to listen to Yone building some song beats with his free hand while you're buzzing along his other arm.

You both have rather demanding jobs and schedules, but Yone enjoys your quiet moments working together. He plugs away at his music while nearby, you finalize designs for clients and work on new flash pieces. Whenever he needs a break, he comes over and tenderly rubs your shoulders. Yone watches you work, occasionally breaking the silence to ask about certain design choices or what kind of client this tattoo is for. Watching you draw gives him a sense of peace.

Since he knows you work long hours, Yone always gets you a drink on his morning iced coffee run. He gets you lunch sometimes, too, if he knows you'll be spending the day in one long session and might not want to leave the shop. Yone knows what it's like to get lost in your work better than anyone, but he wants to make sure that even if you're in the zone, you've got something to drink and a bite to eat nearby. Now, if only you could get him to take care of himself the same way...

Dating Yone brings you a lot of new clients. Even though he left the mainstream music industry some time ago, he's still got friends within it. If anyone asks him for advice on where to go, of course he recommends you, which means you get your fair share of music artists coming to your chair. Of course, they always tip fabulously (they risk Yone's wrath if they don't).

Yone comes to you for advice on a lot of Heartsteel's artistic visuals. Their loud, messy, brash style meshes well with tattoo aesthetics, so he likes to run creative choices by you before implementing them. He also asks you to design some merchandise, if you're okay with doing that. Whatever you come up with, the guys absolutely love. Consider yourself the creative lead for all future merch endeavors.

[brainjvice]

Rambling about Alexis' selfish-Ness [chara analysis ig]

Ness doesn't actually care about Kaiser.

Or well, he does, but in his own, selfish way.

He cares about the image of Kaiser existing in his mind, which consists in the material proof that magic exists and that Ness' dream did not, in fact, go to waste. Everything Ness has all ever believed in life finds its vessel in Kaiser, and Ness is desperate and stubborn enough to never letting that go.

He doesn't really see Kaiser for who he is (and that's also thanks to our mr male manipulator who literally STUDIED on mf psychology books what buttons to push to make Ness bond with him, like ok we get it but what the fuck).

Ness was chosen first as Kaiser's first "support system" (intended as someone whose role was to support kaiser's goal) but eventually ended up as the first person to indulge and feed Kaiser's narcissistic traits (and delusions).

Ness is used to Kaiser being mean to him and he lets him because, in his mind, he is still special. He is like "yeah he is mean to everyone, but I got more privileges than the others. I'm closer to him than anyone else will ever be. I'm the only one to actually know what's best for him" -> except he does not. He does not know Kaiser, he has no clue what's best for him. (he is my delusional puppy)

Ness people pleases and masks 24/7 so that he can keep being useful to Kaiser. So that his dream would not get thrown away. He doesn't even let Kaiser see his own real self, how is he supposed to know the real Kaiser?

Ness is the glass protecting the blue rose from the outside world: fragile, almost useless, if not to keep said rose safe from dust.

It will also cut when broken.

With this post I absolutely do not intend to victim blame. Ness was love bombed and manipulated and he did NOT deserve his first best friend to turn up being [gestures] that. But I still wanted to make light on some other traits that Ness has shown. He is not just a victim and he is stronger than some people give him credit for [insert mitski scream here].

He really needs to see that the real magic is within himself and that he should. Stop biting into a rotting carcass (kaiser ily but damn u kinda infected this boy).

Either that or he'll end up pulling an anakin skywalker at the end of ROTS type of move lmfao.

[orange-ghost]

My hottest take on disability media is that this film (as much as it deserved a good 90% of it's backlash; my GOD it was ableist, harmful, horribly written, horribly paced, and clearly not well thought-out) ...would NOT have been as poorly received had the titular character had low-support needs as opposed to high.

I'm serious. I saw that some of y'all's knee-jerk reactions were "AUTISTIC PEOPLE DON'T ACT LIKE THAT!" and "BUT I'M NOT LIKE THAT!" and... I mean? Yeah? She's one girl, she obviously can't represent the whole spectrum.

But I'm sick of this lateral ableism, "I'm-not-like-other-girls"-esque attitude some of us Autistics have towards the others. We learn to look down upon those who can't take care of themselves or get by in the world like we can; the ones who can't mask; the ones who are sometimes dealt the most abuse in life because they'll never have the privilege of being able to verbally speak up against it or live without a caretaker. Because what often happens is:

Autistic people who need a lot more support than we do wind up becoming allistics' Default Setting™️ idea of Autism.

Autistic people who are very different (usually more independent, sharper intellect and maybe inclined towards more mature[?] interests) then come into those allistic people's lives.

The allistics then begin to infantalize them the same way they infantalize the Default Setting™️ Autistic people around them, then refuse to listen when asked/begged to stop; denial of autonomy.

Instead of directing the VERY warranted disgust, anger and resentment towards the ableist allistic people doing this to us, we direct it towards the initial victims of this treatment; who, frankly, ALSO don't deserve to be treated like literal babies or burdens like that in the first place!

Instead of trying to find solidarity? In-fighting ensues.

I don't know, that's always irked me and it's been in my brain for like four years. Because think about how much we learned in a short period of time around the movie's release. The woman...

Forced a 14-year-old Allistic child to imitate a disabled person when she didn't want to;

TAUGHT her to do so via forcing her to watch meltdown videos filmed & posted by Autistic kids' parents (likely without the child's consent);

Dissed Autistic actresses online for no fucking reason, really.

Named a movie after a disabled child character who's treated more like a prop and isn't even centered in the film's story (and lowkey repeated the pattern twice, if you guys remember Felix's storyline. He was just shoved into this for like... sadness points?)

Teams up with the "most popular" Autism organization even though it has been VERY accessible and public knowledge for years that they've earned a pretty negative reputation for themselves.

Portrays unnecessary prone restraint as a GOOD thing.

...And has MULTIPLE instances of questionably racist undertones. Including within the first 5 seconds of the film.

And yet, some of y'all's priority was the fact that "I'm not like that! I'm FUNCTIONAL!"

...Yeah. Yikes.

Something tells me that Music would've gotten significantly less backlash had Maddie been made to portray somebody who could consistently speak verbally, stimmed in more subtle ways, and didn't have so many meltdowns.

We feel so much shame & discomfort at just sharing a diagnosis with somebody more disabled than ourselves that we will reject it (and them) the moment it happens, without a second thought. Because the thought of being treated by abled society as even more disabled than we are already terrifies us. Because we KNOW that disabled people as a whole are not treated well.

Hell, clearly Sia internalized something like that as well because she wound up being diagnosed as Autistic herself, and she WROTE the damn thing!

Yeah, I've... got a couple of words for all this. 😬

Assimilation. Trauma. Internalized ableism, even. Let's unpack that in 2025, please!

[thatunusualwriter]

Can we please get a part two to of the ReikoxEarthrealm!Reader headcanons, I’d really appreciate it if you did😊

My, my! You're a second person to ask for continuation! But the first one asked for a fic tho so that one will take some time, since I think I mayyyy go a little different direction than this part 2 of this HC since I started the fic drafts first lol. Longer fics just take time, guys.

ᓚᘏᗢｼEnjoy!

𝚁𝚎𝚒𝚔𝚘 𝚡 𝙴𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚎𝚛!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂 sfw & nsfw-ish || part 2

Like, reblog, go to askbox to request anything! 🫶

banner made by @infinitnei

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⛓🤍💥👊🏼⛓.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

I won't lie to you - things will get awkward between the two. For a LONG time.

Reiko is an honorable man but he was saved by an Earthrealmer. His mind is reeling with indecisions of how he should act around Reader. He wants to show gratitude but his hate for Reader's kind runs deep - and what's making it harder is that Reader's a civilian. And a honorable warrior doesn't hurt those, especially when they're harmless.

So Reiko's trying to be... nice(?). But not too much. He can be quite an asshole.

He's actually not shy to flaunter around and boast how Outworld is far superior.. ((my guy... It's like..... 2am.. go the fuck to bed))

But he's not good with his words, instead of all the "thank you"s he is a man of action so it means he's helping around Reader's home as much as he can/is able to.

But kitchen is a place he should not step into. Back in Outworld, it's fine, he can coock alright, but this modern look and appliances... he's really confused by a lot of things in Reader's home generally but something that actually didn't survive its first encounter with Reiko was a toaster.

The moment the toasts flew up all of a sudden had him yelp. Literally. And he punched the electrical device into the next room.

[[ＢＲＵＴＡＬＩＴＹ- ＲＥＩＫＯ ＷＩＮＳ]]

R. I. P. toaster

Reader has to get a new one once they'll save enough money.

And. damn. does he actually feel kinda bad when he learns about how tight with money it is in Earthrealm.

What he struggled with the most was privacy.

Listen, he's a soldier. He's been at wars. And quite often there is no luxury such as privacy. And when you see naked bodies everywhere for a decade you began to ignore it and treat it like a normal thing (example: gynecologists), and being no royalty you literally get no privilege to have a bath to yourself.

The only one embarrassed and weirded out — understandably so — was Reader.

Reiko wouldn't even dare put his hands on an Earthrealmer but with the way he was raised, and lives, he just is used to share a bath/shower.

Was very surprised to find out someone is actually able to kick him out of a room verbally. Reader hadn't a free hand to spare to throw anything at him anyway.

Him walking around naked was another thing he had to un-learn.

Reader called him a "pervert" for literally promenading butt-naked.

But it's not like he didn't notice Reader ogling him.

"At least I'm not staring at someone's body like a piece of meat."

That comeback made Reader flushed and sputter out incoherent words to mask their embarrassment but couldn't quite find it in themself to bite back at that. Because... Yes.. Reader really drank in the sight of the sculpted warrior's body, shamelessly.

For a few days Reiko was stubborn to lay down his uniform and armor, refusing to put on anything 'casual' or to look as if he 'fits in' as Reader said.

He doesn't want to 'fit in', this is who he is and others should just leave him be.

Reader thinks it would be better if he were to attract less attention if he were to go outside. Everyone would think he's one of those people who cosplay and live 24/7 like that OR it could actually catch the eye of the FBI or whoever and they would snatch him off the street because of knowing who he is.

Reiko had to swallow his pride. Literally. And accept a slight change.

Reader bought him a red, flannel shirt and new shoes, let him keep his pants at least... And the face paint had to go too.

Reader had to FIGHT with the make-up removal products for their life. Reiko's war paint was meant to stay on. Better than any foundation Reader ever came across, would make any Drag Queen's make-up brand seethe with envy.

It was almost like peeling it away from a wall, that it made Reader feel bad when they had to scrub a little harder against his skin.

It was... quite a scare? uhm, almost unnatural to see him without the black paint on his face, especially around his eyes. If I can put it that way? The black made his pale, white eyes stood out more but now it did made him look less... intimidating.

But this was also a win for Reader not to deal with black smudges on their pillows, lol.

When it was time for Reader to go to work Reiko wanted to come with. "Make sure you won't call the authorities on him" or whatever to which Reader is just like; "Noooo...? No you're not." "The Hells you mean, no? I'm not leaving your side."

He's neither a kid or an ill pet to sneak him into Reader's job. But Reiko can't quite grasp the concept of why would that be impossible to come- it's not a war for him not to be allowed there!

In the end, Reiko is left in the public spaces outside Reader's job and they come to check on him at lunch breaks, also getting him some food and drink too.

Reader was nice enough to get Reiko something to read while he'd be by himself for 8 hours, to which he refused to read anything at first, but then gave in after an hour and a half when looking at the same crack in the pavement became boresome.

And it eventually became a routine that Reiko got used to... not that he liked it.

When no one was around he did a quick work-out to still be in shape. Though Reader had to stop him from using a tree as a punching bag. A public tree = therefor should not be vandalized or they'd have to pay a fee.

When Reader's colleague/s wanted to join them on their lunch breaks and actually want to get to know him is when he felt at unease, like, never before in his life had he felt that way until now.

He felt like an imposter, trying to act like he's from their realm while not knowing realms exist... Reader always came in to save him though, never left him at an uncomfortable spot for too long when detecting something is not right.

Reader literally had to learn Reiko's body language. Just because they wanted to.

He didn't notice it but he gave himself away quite a few times. But they didn't have the heart to tell him that, wouldn't want to ruin his confidence of being the best soldier there is.

Reiko would begin to clam in and then his body would sort of lean away from the group. He may not realize it, at all, so perhaps don't point it out.

In his mind, he needs to be a perfect soldier, or he's nothing short of useless.

.... Reader does certainly dislike the one who made him feel that way.

[astarionmademewriteit]

Ch. 2: My Forbidden Lover

MDNI. 18+ ONLY. Blank bios will be blocked.

Enver Gortash x f!Durge (pre-tadpole)

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 3.4k

Tags: Pure smut; Oral (female receiving); Face fucking; Dom/sub dynamic; Bondage; PIV rough sex; Blood kink; Cum Play; Praise and degradation kink; Bodily harm (in a sexual context); Orgasm denial (kinda? But not exactly); Choking; Biting; Durgetash is switch-coded; Subby Gortash; Minor jealousy; Brief mention of Astarion's background with non-consentual sex; Really graphic depictions of sex.

Summary: After having come to an agreement with Astarion and plotting to kill Cazador, the dark urge goes home with her lover Gortash where they engage in filthy sex.

A/N: Please refer to the first chapter to set the scene. This is pre-tadpole days where the Dark Urge has an established relationship with Gortash and befriends Astarion while he is still in the clutches of Cazador. The story will follow her eventual amnesia and Illithid kidnapping where she will fall for Astarion, who doesn't reveal the fact that he knew her from before the Nautiloid crash.

I meant for this chapter to spill over into the next day when Durge meets up with Astarion, but I'm a simp for Durgetash and it just got away from me. Please enjoy!

Ch. 1 | AO3

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵

We walk through the brisk night air, the stars spatter the sky–holding their ancient secrets close. I hook my arm through Gortash’s as we stroll through the streets. We are sporadically approached by admirers of Enver, offering their gratitude for all he has done for the city.

“I assume our new friend was receptive to your requests?” Enver murmurs once we catch a moment alone.

“He’ll warm to the idea. He is understandably terrified of Cazador,” I stroke his broad arms, contemplating my conversation with Astarion, “I sweetened the deal. In return for information, I promised to provide him with blood and a victim for Cazador. I assume that won’t be a difficult request to fulfill.”

Enver nods, “We can supply him with a thrall. They should comply willingly,” He stops and moves to face me, “As for the blood, dear assassin?” His question does little to hide the concern underpinning his tone.

“Enver, you wound me,” I close the little distance between us, pressing my body flush against his, “I have access to plenty of blood. Why are you concerned?” I cock an eyebrow, waiting for him to confess.

He chuckles darkly, recognizing my playful banter, “I do not relish the idea of sharing you. Especially your delectable blood,” he lines the column of my throat with gentle nips at my flesh, “I would hope that was just reserved for me,” he growls.

I run my fingers through his dark hair, pulling away to look into his eyes, “You have the exclusive privilege of spilling my blood, Enver,” I place a small kiss on the corner of his mouth, “In any case, Astarion and I are kindred spirits. I recognize myself in him,” I contemplated the thinly-veiled terror that he had tried hard to mask, but I recognized it for what it was immediately. His volatile environment wrangled him into submission, and he was forced to do things that I believe he was unwilling to do–completely severed from his own autonomy.

It was similar to my condition, although I still had the freedom to make choices–choices that Astarion was completely robbed of. It was my hope that our new agreement would help him regain some of his autonomy, no matter how little–even if it was to my advantage, at least for now. I felt a small pang of guilt, wondering if he felt used in other ways instead. I would have to ask him tomorrow.

“Indeed,” Enver agrees after a moment, “But, do not lose sight of the grand design, my love. We are no heroes”

A smile plays on my lips, “If I didn’t know better Enver, I would think you were jealous,” I hook my arm through his once again and we begin our tread back to his waiting palace.

Once we are safely inside the confines of his home I rest on the edge of Enver’s desk while he writes correspondence and runs through the list of powerful targets that threaten our plans. Next on our list was the beloved Duke Ravenguard–he could be a powerful asset should we enthrall him with an Illithid tadpole. I offer to send Orin, my bloodkin, to complete the task so that we may focus on other things.

“That’s enough work for tonight, my dear,” I caress his cheek with the back of my knuckles and he watches me with a darkened expression. I lift myself from his ornate mahogany desk and move towards Enver who still sits in his chair. I turn and sit on his lap, peering over my shoulder and watching him expectantly.

He sweeps my hair to one shoulder and slowly begins to pull the zipper down the back of the evening gown I wore to Cazador’s ball–taking great care to ensure the delicate fabric does not catch in the zipper.

I stand and let the soft fabric slip from my shoulders until the garment pools at my feet. His eyes rake over my exposed body, drinking in my frame with hungry eyes. I drive the heel of one of my shoes into his chest, waiting patiently as he nimbly unbuckles the straps around my ankle. He places small kisses up the calf of my leg, nipping at my flesh–hungry to taste me.

I kick off my heel and repeat the same gesture with my other foot. He glides his hand up my calf to my inner thigh, digging the claws of his gold filigree gloves into my flesh. His hard grasp dimples my flesh until he draws blood and a sigh escapes my lips. He places small kisses along my inner thigh as he works to unbuckle my shoe.

Once I have discarded my shoe, I watch him with eager eyes as he works his way towards my upper thigh, savoring the way his lips feel as they bite and suck at my flesh–tasting my blood. I intertwine my fingers through his dark hair, willing him to focus his attention at the apex of my thighs.

His agonizing slow pace up my inner thigh has me growing impatient, “Enver,” I growl in warning, tightening my grip on his hair until a satisfied groan falls from his lips.

“Far be it from me to keep my favorite assassin waiting,” he murmurs before swiping his tongue up the seam of my dripping cunt. I instinctively pull at his hair more aggressively as he tongues and sucks at my sensitive clit. My legs immediately begin to shake as pleasure undulates through my body.

Enver repositions my leg until it is resting on his shoulder, providing him with a new devastating angle that practically sends me into a frenzy. I hold his head against my aching cunt and throw my head back as I hear his stifled breathing. “Be a good boy for me, Enver,” I growl, “You may only draw breath once I’ve been satisfied, or you can suffocate. Whichever comes first.”

He moans as he slips his tongue into my slick entrance, nosing my clit in the process. His warm tongue fucking me expertly until I’m panting uncontrollably. He hums into my pussy, sending tantalizing vibrations straight to my core.

He hooks his arm around my thigh, pulling me closer as he hungrily services me–his golden filigree claws drawing more blood as they dig deliciously into my flesh. The pain brings me such pleasure that I can feel myself building to a dizzying crescendo.

Enver continues to drag his tongue in slow concentric circles around my clit, sucking and nipping at it until I’m losing myself–spiraling into an intense climax that has me writhing underneath his tongue. I grind myself against his face–his stubble adding another layer of overwhelming sensations that has me coming undone just for him. He growls against me as I drag my sensitive cunt against his face, relishing the way I use him for my pleasure.

Once I’ve come down from my orgasm, Enver pulls away–his face gleaming with my slick. I pull him up by the collar of his robe, and we collide into a feral kiss. The taste of my arousal and the coppery aftertaste of blood fills my mouth as our tongues slide against one another.

I finger at his robes, clumsily unlacing the clothes that separate me from his flesh. He assists me in removing his clothes, our lips crashing back together with a ferocity that could buckle my knees. I push him hard until he is falling on the bed behind him, my eyes scanning his exposed flesh, devouring him completely. I circle the bed before grabbing his wrist and binding them to the bedpost with barbed wire that cuts deeply into the exposed flesh beneath his golden lattice gloves. I repeat the gesture with his other wrist, and watch as blood flows freely from his wrists–dripping down his arms in crimson rivulets. I drag my tongue up his arm, drinking in the taste of his life-essence, and ecstasy thrums through my body at his flavor.

“You taste so good, my love,” I murmur before making my way to the foot of the bed and crawling up his body until I’m straddling his waist.

“It’s all for you, my assassin,” he croaks, his voice gravelly and thick with lust.

I drag my nose up his throat, sucking and kissing at his salty skin. I sink my teeth into the soft flesh where his neck meets his broad shoulders, and Enver cries out in pleasure as blood rushes to the surface. I can practically hear his heart beating against his ribcage as blood fills my mouth–his wrists pulled taut against his restraints, causing more blood to flow freely from his veins.

“I love when you bleed for me, Enver,” I growl into his ear. His heavy panting rings like music through the bedroom, and I savor the way his body writhes impatiently beneath me, “You’re doing so well,” I praise, which only spurs his need to be inside me.

“Please,” he whispers, begging to feel my cunt wrapped around his leaking cock.

“Oh, Enver,” I whisper seductively, cupping his face with my hand, “How I love to watch you squirm.” I line myself up with his throbbing cock, already leaking with pre-cum.

His swollen head immediately stretches me wide open, and I cannot stop the moan that falls from my lips as he fills me completely. Enver whimpers beneath me as my pussy slides down his length at an agonizingly slow pace until I am sitting flush against him. I clench around him instinctively, forcing another moan to escape his lips.

I lean over and crush my lips to his as I begin to rock my hips seductively against him. I bite hard into his lip, drawing more of his sensational blood–relishing the coppery taste as it fills my senses completely. My nails dig into his hairy chest and welts immediately begin to form, marking him as mine.

I lift myself up and begin riding him slowly, savoring the way his cock spears into me–threatening to split me in two. I clench my pussy around his length every time his cock withdraws from me, effectively massaging his swollen head.

“Gods below,” he moans underneath me, “You’re so perfect, my dear assassin.” He instinctively bucks his hips, brushing against my cervix and causing me to cry out in shock. He drags his cock slowly out of me before forcefully thrusting back inside, hitting my sweet spot with agonizing precision. The barbed wire confining his wrists continues to pull blood from his flesh, painting him like a beautiful masterpiece.

I lean back, propping myself on his thighs as I continue to ride him relentlessly–allowing him to watch as he pierces me with his throbbing member. My arousal rings like a symphony throughout the room, only spurring me to ride him harder. My nails dig into his thighs, bringing more blood to the surface. I watch as his body slowly trickles with blood and images of our own demise flit through my mind.

I knew I wanted to keep him until fate intervened and I was forced to kill him and myself in Bhaal’s name. It would be incredibly beautiful, slicing his flesh open until he had been drained of blood completely. I would die a beautiful death next to my lover–and I would be free of the carnage I was meant to exact on this world. And it would all be by his side.

As the images flit through my mind, my desperation becomes more prominent. I can feel myself nearing the edge of no return. My body begins to quiver as he continues to meet me thrust for thrust until I am exploding into a tantalizing climax–falling over the edge into a depth of pleasure that I could only ever experience with Enver.

His name falls from my lips and echoes throughout the room like a haunted hymn as he coaxes the pleasure from my body. Enver’s breathing becomes ragged and I can tell he is chasing his own release. I cannot help the sadistic tendencies that wash through my body in moments like these.

I wrap a shaky hand around his throat as I continue to ride him with newfound ferocity born from my own ecstasy. He watches me with a dark expression as he nears his own climax, biting at his bruised bottom lip as I apply pressure to his throat, cutting off his blood flow momentarily.

His eyes roll into the back of his head and a dangerous smirk plays on my lips when I think about how desperate he sounds. Just when he is on the verge of climax, I pull myself off him completely and watch as thick ropes of cum spill from him and onto his stomach. He bucks his hips desperately searching for any kind of friction that will ride him through his climax–to no avail.

I release my grip from his neck and he eyes me with unfiltered frustration when he realizes the game I’m playing. His wrists are pulled taut against the barbed wire–the metal digging into his flesh as he struggles against them, desperate for some satisfaction as his hollow orgasm washes through him.

He lets out an animalistic growl as I remove myself from the bed, a dark grin gracing my features as I watch him struggle. “Oh, Enver,” I chuckle sadistically, “You never learn, do you?” I inch towards a bar cart and pick up an expensive decanter, leisurely pouring myself a glass of rich dark liquor. I seat myself in his chair, and watch as he grows more desperate by the minute.

“Please, my love,” he eyes me with wild anguish, pulling against his restraints harder than before–ignoring the stinging pain that travels through his arms. I cross my legs and lean back, taking another sip of the strong liquor. It burns my throat as it goes down, and the satisfaction I feel as I watch him squirm is delectable. My body welcomes the warmth of a roaring fire nearby and I sit and watch as he fights against his restraints–admiring the way his crimson blood paints his flesh.

“Gods, you look so pathetic, Enver,” I chuckle, “It’s utterly adorable.” I throw back the rest of the liquor–it’s rich burn soothing my throat and it’s warmth washing through my body completely.

Enver has settled down slightly, but I can tell he has found no satisfaction in his climax–just as I had hoped. “My beloved assassin, this hardly seems fair,” he grumbles–his voice perfectly diplomatic.

“When have you known me to play fair, my love,” I shoot back playfully, gripping the arms of the chair, “Besides, I’ve decided that you haven’t begged nearly enough for my liking.”

He glares at me from the bed, and a satisfied smile pulls at my lips as I wait patiently for him to convince me that he deserves his own fulfillment. Plea after plea begins to spill from his lips, his body continuing to fight against his restraints as he grows more and more desperate. I tap my foot impatiently as he continues to beg.

It isn’t until a tear of frustration falls from his eye do I stand, effectively quieting his supplications as he watches me closely. I move to the foot of the bed and crawl over him once again, and I can hear as his breath catches in the back of his throat. I drag my tongue across his stomach, licking up his spent–savoring its unique taste. I smack my lips when I’m done and note that Enver is hard once again as he watches me clean up the mess he made.

I pull away from the bed and move to release him from his restraints–kissing his wrists and sucking the blood that paints his skin in a rich crimson. I repeat the gesture once again with his other wrist. As soon as he is free from his constraints, he charges forward, pouncing on me like a wild, untamed animal.

“My turn,” Enver growls in my ear as he tangles his rough fingers into my hair and pulls back hard until I’m looking up at his looming form. He forces me across the room and throws me into the edge of his desk, the hard wood digging into my hips deliciously.

I whimper under his hardened touch as he bends me over his desk and presses my face into the desk with aggressive strength. He forces himself inside me without a moment to lose, desperate to feel my wet cunt wrap around his cock once again.

He begins a punishing pace, rutting his hips into me with unrelenting force that causes uncontrolled moans to fall from my lips. He places a large, rough hand on my waist and forces me down, causing me to arch my back until he is hitting my sensitive spot over and over again.

The force with which he fucks me into his desk causes papers to fall from the table top–teetering to the floor. Ink splatters across his desk as it tips over with every thrust. My cries rip through the air as he spears himself into me, allowing his frustrations to spill over into his movements.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” he growls as he slams into me–the desk digging painfully into my flesh with every cant of his hips. I dig my nails into the desk, trying to steady myself, but it is useless as he continues to abuse my dripping pussy.

The force of his hips slamming into me sends me over the edge once again and I cry out with unfiltered ecstasy as I fall from grace–my orgasm rocking through my body causing my cunt to spasm wildly around his length.

“There you go, my dear assassin,” He growls, “Just like that, baby.” He talks me through my climax, and the rush of adrenaline courses through my body as his claws dig into my flesh, bringing blood to the surface.

I whine underneath him as he uses me for his own pleasure–our roles effectively reversed in a matter of minutes. His breath grows ragged as he watches his arousal spear into me over and over again with such force that I fear the desk will tip over.

Once I’ve recovered from my orgasm, I feel his thrusts becoming sloppier as he chases his own, deserved release. “Cum for me, Enver,” I beg as his breath grows heavy with ecstasy. He thrusts into me violently a few more times before he is spilling into me–his cock spasming wildly inside me as he cries out my name. He whimpers out a string of expletives as he is awarded with his own pleasure.

He leans over me, his body flush against mine as he continues to fuck through his orgasm–savoring the feeling he was so cruelly denied just minutes earlier. I moan loudly, his name falling from my lips like a prayer of devotion until he finally stills inside me.

We catch our breath, neither of us daring to move until we have regained our strength. Enver chuckles darkly above me before pulling out of me completely. I whine at his sudden absence but gather myself as much as possible. I will my shaky legs to move back to the bar cart and pour us both a drink while Enver rests in his chair, sweat dripping down his dark features.

I offer him a glass before curling into his lap and nuzzling into his shoulder, noting the dried blood streaks that mar his body. I bite back a satisfied smile as I replay the events of tonight in my mind.

After a moment, Enver sighs, “We have made a mess of things, my dear,” he ruffles my hair with a rough hand before chuckling under his breath. “I think a warm bath is in order.” I nod my head in agreement, suddenly too tired to speak. “We have a great many things to accomplish tomorrow, my lovely assassin.” He throws back his drink and polishes off his glass in a few large gulps.

I wrap an arm around his waist as I continue to nurse my drink–memorizing the way his body feels against mine. I laugh to myself, realizing that I could never forget how his body feels against mine. I turn my thoughts to what lies ahead, already calculating more plans for the grand design.

I couldn't imagine doing this without him–My forbidden lover.

[nilboxes]

Light cone art so powerfully homoerotic someone (me) furiously pumped out a 6k word fic in 2 days. They're going to kill me. 🔗 : AO3

Extensive notes/ramblings below!

-

I have not recovered from the mental power I had to pool to write this lmao I couldn't do anything at work except figure these two out and why Aventurine looked so BESOTTED but the absence of the little white dots in his eyes in the light cone and in the leaked models made him look like there's such an edge to him (someone on twitter pointed out that he has no light in his eyes!) and it really fanned the flames like what the fuck is this GUY ON and why is it directed at Dr. Ratio LMAO (I mean why not Ratio is so pretty)

So then I thought, there is NO WAY Ratio is going to react surprised or scared for Aventurine he's going to be ANNOYED lmao. There are possibly 2 more chances in that cylinder before it's 100% in there and I was looking at the probabilities on Wikipedia and I was laughing at myself at how a gay ship was going to make me STUDY probability when I hated this type of stuff in university and I was like yeah Ratio will probably be like hey, you can't stop there, and pulls twice lmao

And I was thinking they would make eyes at each other homoerotically while doing so because wow sexual tension so potent you can taste it through the screen in the LC art and everything just went from there I really cannot get over how Aventurine seems so... sooooooo in love with Ratio and in my head Ratio is like this man is insane what is he on but he gets a taste of that and it's like wow it's actually a little good but Ratio is also cautious so he won't ride that wave too hard but Aventurine looks really down bad for a man who seems like he doesn't care

So initially I really wanted to wait until Aventurine came out before I start my hyperfixation train because we know so little about him other than key facts I have formed in my head-- -he's perpetual smiler (confirmed by a leak of the loading screen blurbs) and like, idk from his design it just suits him and even in his voice cameo with Topaz his VA sounds like they are smiling while they are talking ALLL the time idk at least I got this one right -mr gambling gambler who is very self-assured about his luck, mr smug man. when I wrote he'd win 99.9-0.1 he believes this and if he dies I think to him it would just mean his time's up for realsies anyway and whatever idk man is not very sane -there's some really weird leaks and I'm not sure if it's confirmed but he was invited to be a Masked Fool which made him ALLL the more interesting for me because as a Sampo Mr Scammer fan it doesn't mean if he joins the Masked Fools he wouldn't be able to amass money but this guy seems to really like the thrill being an IPC senior manager provides then which is like this guy is a lives fast dies young kinda guy -I HC from that neck tattoo he could have been an indentured servant (cough slave cough) or a prisoner of some kind, but eitherway it says he wasn't privileged in any sense of the word but the way his character design is so decked out in rings gold watches and even a bracelet it means he's climbed very far, so he is an ambitious man, lots of "material pleasures" as Dr Ratio puts it in my fic and he still wants more. That kinda guy makes for a very intense lover imo very "I get what I want" type, and I really wanted to balance that with his attraction to Dr Ratio and how he doesn't want to drive Dr Ratio away with his crazy but he's also very horny... Anyway I also totally underestimated his height difference with Dr Ratio I really should have pulled up that leak of them side by side but ahh being a short king dom top is so cute on him

As for Dr Ratio I really cannot see him top unless Aventurine power bottoms why but he's so "diligent" in all aspects but I see him being a pillow princess in bed

I also feel a little bad that I wasn't able to write more bickering between the two of them but I also feel like the normally talkative Dr Ratio keeps HIGH HIGH walls around Aventurine because it's hard to tell what this guy is thinking so he's thinking so hard trying to make sense of it all and he says little as not to give away anything that might be wrong

I feel like adding "all is fair in love and war" in Latin omina iusta sunt amore belloque was a little gratuitous but I also want to subtly sprinkle in that Aventurine is so obsessed with Ratio, so down bad for him, that he reads stuff about Dr Ratio a lot enough to come across a translation of the quote and I'm like no yeah way Ratio can deal with crazy-eyed Aventurine saying/declaring love while he's still computing the electric exchange they had so he's definitely like picking up on Aventurine's obsession/infatuation with him and he's like NOPE DON'T SAY IT and would rather kiss him to shut him up than hear it lmao

I honestly despaired at how I was going to start closing the scenes because it was like nighttime and I wanted to finish it already because they're killing me, so like, making Ratio fall asleep while Aventurine pours his heart out (I asked a friend who read it what he thought Aventurine said and they got it spot on so I figure it was conveyed properly on my end and I was really proud of this bit) seemed like a cute way to do it. The narration lied, Dr Ratio heard it but he got selective hearing and totally did NOT want to reply/acknowledge it. Poor Aventurine, but it's not as if he won't try again

I have waaay more ideas about them and I wonder if I can hold off until Aventurine releases or we get more crumbs idk but I want to write some kuudere Ratio (with a bit of tsun hehe)

Special mentions other than the lightcone art that fueled me: this art from Twitter that and this post that kinda made me think long and hard...

[drdemonprince]

Have you ever experienced like... positive imposter syndrome?

My job is a torment I have to endure to get rent + food money & medical coverage. I lied about my credentials to get it because it had a good medical plan. It's rather technically complex and I don't really understand it or care about it, just do the bare minimum to avoid getting fired.

Just had a performance review with my boss and she told me she was blown away by my skill, engagement, responsibility, and passion and wanted me to work on doing less and delegating more to my other coworkers because I'm taking on too many tasks.

So since I'm doing like, nothing, now I feel like I am a master of deception who could work anywhere and trick a manager into thinking I'm working hard and enjoying it regardless of my competence or passion.

Instead of the classic anxiety of imposter syndrome "I don't know what I'm doing and someone could find out I am a fraud at any moment" it's this empowering and egomaniacal "I've been masking since childhood and I'm so good at lying I could work anywhere and nobody would notice I don't know what I'm doing."

I experience this every day and I have tried explaining it to my coworkers who are afraid to do so much as turn down a meeting invitation and they just don't get it! I have combined my lack of affective empathy with my talent for masking and my Autistic adeptness at pattern recognition to create a system of subterfuge, diplomatic truth-telling, and strategic planning that allows me to ascend the ranks of now two professional fields while doing relatively fuck all. it's fucking crazy dude. i wish i could bottle this arrogance and shrewdness and hand it over to all my friends and loved ones. when i see people getting punished or losing their jobs for being honest or after working their asses to the bone it just... makes me so sad. we have so much power that we are conditioned to never ever harness. granted, a lot of my experience does come from my numerous privileges, and not everyone can play the specific game that i am playing. but i see many people not even realizing there's a toolkit of strategies they could adopt and make work for them. I hope my next book on Autism can tackle much of this.

[theteasnake]

Ghostface: The Bitch

He is the Entity's golden and problem child and gets the most privileges than the others. Being on friendly terms with him tends to reward you with similar luxuries. The Entity also speaks to him the most, although it's mostly just him having a one sided convo with himself until the Entity replies.

Before the Game showed up, he was offered his own cabin on the outskirts of the survivor camps. It's still there and is mainly used as his stalking hq.

He's quicker than most to catch up on modern slang. Half the time he hates it and half the time he finds it amusing to confuse the other killers with it.

"I'm a murderer, not a monster!" - whenever he's accused of any crime that isn't a murder, even if it's as small as stealing.

If put in the same area as Freddy Kruger, it's on sight. He hates the burnt man with a passion.

I don't think he has a canon age, I couldn't find one, but I'd say he's around 21-22. He only visited a handful of towns and lays low between each one, and assuming he killed his father at 16-17, I think 21-22 is a good estimate.

He has conflicted feelings about his father. He both loves and loathes him.

Narcissistic? Mayhaps. ADHD? 100%.

He's got a celebrity crush on the Trapper. Nothing will come of it, but he will fanboy about Evan.

I feel like he'd enjoy Fallout Boy, especially American Psycho. Along with unhinged modern pop like Joyride.

Chaotic bisexual with no preference. Maybe a hint of demiromantic. Idk, you gotta be really interesting to prevent him from murdering you but you'll just end up with him unhealthily obsessing over you.

This man is an asexual and you can't change my mind. He's probably tried but gave up ten seconds in cause it's not as thrilling as murdering. Plus, why would he do something that's just cheap adrenaline when he can get pure adrenaline from killing?

Adrenaline junkie.

Isn't allowed to try gambling, drugs, or anything else that can turn into an addiction. He gets addicted very, very easily.

He smoked for a very short time before he was taken. He quit cause he didn't want to fuck up his lungs. He picked it back up when he was taken, cause why not? He defo thinks it's hot.

Not fond of alcohol, it clouds his judgement and he doesn't trust himself to not kill on a whim while under the influence.

Thinks the simp survivors are funny. But will cut a hand off if they try to touch him inappropriately.

Best way to seduce him as a survivor is to just be good at kiting. He loves a good challenge and if you manage to stay alive for a good period of time, he'll let you live as a reward. Plus, he loves his final girls.

People tend to think he's a dog person, they're obedient and man's best friend. He's actually a cat person, they're much like himself. Stealthy hunters. Dogs are too loud and clingy.

Has never hurt an animal outside of hunting. He has no reason to, humans are more fun to go after.

Probably enjoyed Deadpool comics before being taken. He also shares the same humor as DP. Add in a sprinkle of puns and bad dad jokes.

Has a collection of secret photos of his favorite killers.

Has attempted to kill fellow killers just for fun.

The definition of "fuck around and find out".

You know that meme of how guys won't bat an eye if they're injured but act like they're dying when they have a simple cold. That's Danny.

Very expressive and dramatic with his movements. Mainly cause you can't see his expressions behind the mask.

Would be a theater kid if he would've been allowed.

He's got trauma. This man has trauma. I doubt it would've been easy to be raised by a military dad. Plus, I doubt his mother was in the picture or very involved.

Isn't allowed to cook or make food for others. He's attempted to poison and drug people various times. Just cause.

Is very fidgety and stims a lot. Taps his fingers, chews on pens, humming and whistling, leg bouncing, etc.

Occasionally pretends to be a friendly killer just to down them all. He likes to see the betrayal in their eyes.

Views the Legion as a group of little shits. Doesn't care for them but they try to follow him around whenever he's not at the Game.

Don't leave him in the same room as the Trickster. It could end in either a bloodbath or Danny coming out confused and dressed head to toe in merchandise.

He knows he's not allowed to harm the survivors outside of the trial, but that doesn't stop him from scaring the shit out of them.

Sometimes he'll pretend he's a survivor to gain access to the survivor camp.

Doesn't like Tapp, and thanks whatever being out there that he didn't have someone like him in his world.

Very judgy.

Mori pictures of his favorite survivors are kept in his wallet.

Ya'll need to stop trying to justify his kills. You treat him like some vigilante trying to clean up the streets, when he wouldn't even touch fellow criminals with a 10 inch pole. It'd be a boring story if the resident aggressive drunk is murdered, but the well loved waitress, on the other hand, would make a great headline.

Probably dreads office and water cooler talk. Unless it's gossip. He's always down from some gossip.

Names almost every inanimate objects after his favorite subjects/victims. He's got bad emotional attachment to the objects. Like really bad.

Touch starved. Probably has never been hugged.

Does not do well with heat. Every time he ends up in warmer states or working in the summer, he's like "why did I do this to myself?"

Self hatred? Nah. Can't hate yourself if you don't know who you are.

Anger issues to the max.

Once accidentally broke Philly in a fit of rage and almost drove himself off a bridge. He fixed the camera, don't worry.

If he does choose to be friendly (to spice things up) and the survivors still run from him or keep stunning/blinding him, he'll tunnel them. He does not have patience.

Stabbing is his love language. He's currently being taught that that's not healthy. It's a work in progress.

Gift giving is his other love language. Though, it's mainly dead bodies and mori photos. Like a cat leaving dead mice for their owner.

Gets disappointed when other survivors don't join in on the photo. They're labeled boring and get tunneled.

He's got so many scars from his subjects fighting back. They're like trophies to him.

Isn't allowed to have caffeine, especially in the Entity's realm. Last time he had it in his world, he almost murdered a whole family in one go. When he had it in the Entity's realm, he had so many trials lined up but the high didn't wear off afterwards and he attempted to break into other killers' trials.

The type of pet name he gives you is determined by how he feels about you, regardless of gender. Princess is mainly applied to whiny and bitchy people. Babygirl is used sarcastically or affectionately depending on the scenario. Dollface or doll is saved for those that has peaked his interest or people he deeply cares about. Then you have your usual; cunt, bitch, mother fucker, asshole, dipshit. Sweetheart and toots are reserved for Amanda.

He swears like a sailor.

Is a natural night owl. Make him wake up before 11 am and he'll stab a bitch.

He used a voice modifier in his world, but he has no use for it in the fog. He still has it. It's named Roger.

He makes so many references to so many horror movies. It doesn't matter if whoever he's talking to has seen it or not.

Saw someone headcanon him to be autistic. Yeahhh. That's all I gotta say. Yeahhh.

Very common for him to not eat for days. Only because he forgets to eat. Same thing happens with using the bathroom. He just forgets.

Probably had fangirls in his world. He planned to kill one just to see what would happen. Never again. Just. Never again. The horrors he found in their bedroom could never be removed from his brain.

Depression? Can't be depressed if you're high on adrenaline 24/7.

Is a college drop out. He only started it as one of his identities. It was... boring.

Frat parties or parties in general is the bane of his existence. It's hard to stalk someone if they keep blending in with the crowd. But it's a good place to off someone, if he can keep his eyes on them.

Don't let him have access to anything that can start a fire. The Entity learned that the hard way.

[illnessfaker]

getting really sick and fucking tired of supposed disability advocates who think the effects of disease spread begins and ends with people masking and people who say shit like "wearing my n95 so i can know i haven't killed or disabled anyone today 😇" as if this shit isn't largely driven by systemic/societal factors (and so is disablement in general)

masking isn't enough and it never will be enough so long as the material conditions that led to this in the first place continue to exist (which doesn't mean masking isn't worth doing) and aside from that using catholic guilt-style tactics on strangers has never produced meaningful, positive change in the past and isn't magically about to start doing so in the present

like i dunno about y'all but when i go to the hospital or to doctor's appointments and there are, for example, seniors there who are way more susceptible to serious and permanent effects of any spreadable disease while, and i'm masking while they're not, i'm not mentally lording over them about how more ethical i am than they are, i'm thinking about the ways in which vulnerable populations like this are especially prone to be manipulated by the media about the actual danger these diseases pose and not everyone has the privilege of media and scientific literacy as well as internet access and a supportive or knowledgable community around them; i certainly didn't lord over the fact that someone holding a sign openly stating that they were a cancer patient wasn't masking at a large event while i was

but i'm willing to bet some of you have a very "red states deserve to get destroyed by natural disasters" mentality about it, as well as a bunch of reactionary sentiments coming from this crowd regarding visible illness and other things, so what is even the fucking point honestly 😒

[a-friend-of-mara]

Hey uh

I'm leaving my mask at the door for a minute

If you enjoy the image of myself I put forward, the happy cheery autistic trans girl who doesn't dwell on her issues

Please just ignore this post

If you are uncomfortable with mentions of self harm, talking about non prescription drug addiction, suicide rates of trans kids

Please just go

Look

I say my biggest fear is that I'll be forgotten

It's easier than saying that I'm scared to death of myself

I'm worried I'll give up on life and stop eating... considering I can't gain or maintain weight I'd have a week before I was dead at the most

I'm afraid that I'll give up trying to look like the person I want to be rather than being stuck, trapped in a body that isn't mine but I'm wired up to like some sick torture method

I don't want to fall into drug use or self harm hoping that it'd pull me out of this pit of self hatred and hopelessness

I don't wanna be another tally mark on the trans suicide charts

I don't wanna die

I feel like I'm suffocating

That I can't move my legs... only the ones attached to me

I don't even know if I matter at this point

I just

I wanna be me

Not some false image that I was born with

Nobody understands how it is for me

My dad almost killed me with th fact he understood so little he put me into survival mode where I cared about nothing but staying alive because of how much damage his insistence that my body was in fact his son and not the cage that trapped his daughter

He used to have twins now he just has one kid with her twin sister... my sister

Now I live with my mom who doesn't understand, how could she? She's never wanted to tear her skin off because it wasn't hers... she understands how much I hurt though

She's able to see through my mask that I'm really suffering inside

Without her yall wouldn't have ever known I existed

You would've heard a news article of a trans kid who killed herself by diving off the balcony at her school although the media would misgender me.

I've almost done it

Sitting on the edge of a lethal drop fighting with myself to not do it

Not sure if I was lying when i told myself things would get better

I'm not sure if they are

Everything just keeps getting worse and worse

I can't even cry anymore

I don't care about so many things that I used to

I used to love

Then I was heartbroken

I used to care for my friends

Until I moved away

I used to enjoy helping others

Now I'm so tired I can't

Just

Fuck

It's kinda funny

How part of me thinks it's all my fault

How I'm not sure if it's something I did

But then I have to think

What could I possibly have done that'd make this torment justified?

How can any higher power exist when I've prayed to every God and Goddess I've ever learned of and not once has a goddam thing happened

How would a higher power let the world get this fucked up

Fuckin hell

My trans siblings are getting murdered for being themselves

Innocent people who live in unfortunate places are being killed because of stupid ass reasons

Fucking hell in America most people aren't free enough to take a month off work without becoming homeless

Decades of prejudice make people think women are weak and need defending but don't pay them well because... fuckin I don't know why!

It's pathetic that men get away with rape while women get away with false rape accusations usually destroying every relationship the man ever cared about

People look at others and treat them differently based on the color of their skin

YA KNOW HOW FUCKIN STUPID THAT IS?!

ITS DUMBER THAN PICKING ON SOMEONE WHO WORE A BLUE SHIRT PURELY BECAUSE OF THE SHIRT

What for?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS FOR?!

The privilege to go through 12 to 20 years of school to earn the right to have to work a job I'll probably hate until I'm like 60?!

Right now I'm pretty sure my life is gonna end before I reach 30!

What's the fuckin point?!

America for fucks sake

The land of the free

Yeah free to work or die because the 0.01% run the fucking nation like their playground

People wonder why I've responded to hostility with hostility in the last 3 years

Simple

I've bottled my emotions for so long the bottles are all full

Yelling and ranting always make me feel a little better

If anyone comments on this negatively I hope you die in a vat of boiling vinegar and drown in the yolks of rotten eggs

That goes for all the phobic people too

If you made it through this whole essay sized emotional breakdown and don't think I'm a complaining winey bitch

I can only say I wish the world was made of more people like you

Alright

Time for sleep

[boywithbear]

randomly thinking about how the anti "transandrophobia truthers" people never think trans men ever face misogyny, especially if they're out of the closet and can pass as a man, and i'm here masculine as hell and would pass to THEM but yet my voice gets me misgendered all the time, to the point during phone calls people will refuse to believe I am who I say I am because of the masculine name not matching up with the voice and so they always automatically assume I am my own sister or mother, and my own urogynecologist fully sees me as a woman despite my FULL BEARD and my bear of a body

like yeah totally i completely have all the same exact experiences and privileges as a cis man! /s

Edit: actually lol to make the point further, I am still here with the full beard and masculine attire and so I'm probably what they'd call "cishet passing" and yet when I go out, I am misgendered ALL the time now because of the combination of my voice, my long hair, and wearing a mask that covers up a good bit of my face. I'm misgendered more than I'm gendered correctly, actually. Like really blows my mind bc I will see these ppl call ppl they dont even KNOW irl "cishet passing" based on seeing pictures of them when that doesn't = reality and also that's a fucking gross ass term.

[justatalkingface]

Can I vent one thing? I kind hate the hipocrisy of some (a big number here) fans on regards Izu and Endeavour.

Like it goes more or less like this:

Fans:😒look at Izu defending Endeavour even through Dabi told how abusive he is.

Me: what you want Izu to do punch Endeavour and praise Dabi? A fucking villain who killed and has no remorse?

The hipocrisy here is how they blame Izu for "siding with an abuser" but Shot befriend BK is cute.

Following that logic, they should hate Shoto too as he is Bk's friends...somehow. BK for all his many flaws, I say this, he is honest in his hate for Izu. Never tried to mask.

As for the other ask I sent and yoy answer. Look, Hori just hates Izu and at this point is just easier to say he is a bad writer (feels lazy but I swear this is the easiest and real explanation here) we dont know why Izu wants to be a hero or anything about his family. His complex of martyr makes no sense (does AM have the same thing? It also makes no sense ....bc we know 0 about AM)

There is so much cognitive dissonance baked into Bakugou and how much people love him, there really is; he hits Izuku and there are Bakugou fans that basiclly say Izuku should thank him for the privilege.

Relatedly, a lot of people apparently find him attractive which... I don't get. But hot people do get away with a lot more than unattractive people, so I could see some unconscious biases on the fact that they think he looks hot, and is therefore more tolerable than if he looked like Mineta but acted like he does in canon.

To be fair, a lot of it is ultimately on Hori himself and the writing; no matter how bad I find his character arc at times, Endeavour's abuse and behaviour was never treated like a joke. Brushed over, sure, but it was never funny. Meanwhile, we passed a point in the story, long before Endeavour's redemption kicked in, and suddenly every abusive thing that Bakugou had been doing, bad things which were Serious Problems he was supposed to deal with, was nothing but a joke, even while Endeavour was still on and off being given shit for being an abuser; it's annoying, but I don't find it surprising people don't take Bakugou's behavior seriously if the story itself doesn't.

Meanwhile, while people's interest in Izuku has died to some extent because of how bad his writing got, I've seen people saying (and I'm not completely disagreeing with them) that Dabi has been carrying a lot of Post War, with all the focus on him and his tragic backstory being something that's actually interesting, and how much character he's allowed to have compared to everyone else, which, ironically enough, is probably enough to make him a more sympathetic victim to a lot of people over Izuku, who isn't even allowed to think about his past abuse with how much his traumatic backstory is being suppressed by the writing.

Granted, it feels like a lot of that was altered to make Endeavour (and Dabi) more tolerable to the readers, and while Dabi is supposed to be a villain with sympathetic origins, some people forget he's very much an unsympathetic person at this point, by his own design, and that would probably be insulted by some of the nicer takes on him.

Ultimately, what Endeavour did was worse than Bakugou, yeah, and I see people say that for why Bakugou is more defensible, but it's not a matter of degree; Endeavour doing shitty things doesn't excuse Bakugou doing shitty things, though there's also the fact that abusive fathers are more universally loathed than bullies, especially with all the extra stuff going on with Bakugou to try and mitigate him.

On the other thing....

Izuku is easy. Izuku wants to be a hero because: societal brainwashing about the heroic system as a whole making the system popular to the people, wanting to help people, and wanting acceptance from others. Being a hero, for him, is wrapped up with all three of those causes.

On All Might... Well. It's been awhile, but back when All Might was allowed to be a character, it was pointed out multiple times that Izuku is, in fact, exactly like All Might (seriously, if we look at what we know about Young!All Might, and it sounds like he's basically taller, more muscular, and to some degree more confident Izuku from the start of the story. He's basiclly Izuku if Izuku never had Bakugou in his life, constantly knocking him down, and maybe had an extra foot or two in height), and while Izuku liked being like his idol, everyone else in the know was worried because All Might went exactly down this road Izuku's going down.

That is to say, All Might is now a lonely old man, scarred and broken, without a life of his own, and the fact he's still alive means this is the good ending for him, compared to him getting himself killed.

(looks at the newer manga chapters meaningfully)

The Izuku and All Might self-destruction parallels is something that came up within the first couple of chapters; it was a very deliberate choice, and it seemed clear, at some point, that All Might was supposed to help Izuku be better than him, temper his natural martyr tendencies, and not get himself killed or horribly maimed, a process that would help the both of them grow past these tendencies.

And yes, we know little about All Might, but after a certain point his development stopped and... in all honesty, as much as Hori seems to hate Izuku, he seems to hate All Might just as much, if not more (or at least All Might isn't mandated to be strong and victorious, anyways, in ways that give Izuku some protections). All Might took this scrawny little boy to the beach and over the course of a summer bulked him up to the point where he could host OFA; he's not this horribly incompetent person that the later parts of the story seem to want us to see him as.

And yet, the more he's developed the more Hori just adds flaw upon flaw to the poor man, starting with being completely incapable of helping Izuku in pretty much any way all of a sudden ('clench your butt' my ass) and turning more and more pathetic over time as his powers waned, and he never got to grow as a character to filled the void in his characterization.

Presumably, mixed with the part where he was meant to teach Izuku... literally anything, All Might's backstory (beyond being basiclly tall Izuku, anyways) was probably going to be organically expanded on over time as their mentor and mentee based relationship developed, but that never happened, and so we have a character whose defining traits are largely having super powers, who no longer has those super powers.

[tleeaves]

1, 7, 10, 13, 23

Hi, Stinky <3 assuming these are for the soft asks though I know I posted some others not too long before those ones.

1. What song makes you feel better?

Aside from a few specific movie soundtracks (I am... a massive fucking nerd, I'm so sorry), there's West Coast by Imagine Dragons. Something about it for years has been really comforting to me and it usually lifts my spirits at least a little.

7. Who do you feel most like yourself around?

Tricky because I believe in all sides of myself being as much a reflection of my true self as anything. But I guess in the more comfortable sense, who I feel like I can really be nothing but a husk of masks around with no need to hide any of it? My sister, my best friend E, my neighbour's dog (he's a cutie pie and I would commit crimes to keep that animal safe (I often feel more like my most comfortable self around animals rather than people as silly as it probably sounds)), and @thevagabondexpress who's another bestie of mine.

10. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (Or just felt really good afterwards)

Probably quite recently actually. It's rather common that I cry/tear up a little when I'm genuinely laughing. IDK why it happens, but I can say my sister is absolutely hilarious and we bond over the stupidest shit. She's usually the one making me cry-laugh. I'm happy to say that this happens often enough I can't even pick a single instance out cause it's just regular, which is really nice considering how hard it used to be to make me genuinely laugh.

13. Bath or shower to relax?

Bath 100%. I mean I take showers daily (amazing btw I feel so privileged (grew up on a farm with tank water that we had to ration)) but what really relaxes me is a nice hot bath.

23. Have you ever received flowers?

Hmm... not really? The only instance I can think of is this one time in high school where one of my classmates gave me a flower one morning from her walk from the train station to school (I always waited by the tree on the small hill for her and our other friends in the morning since I got to school early and the trains often ran late). She said she thought I'd like it. And she wasn't wrong, it was a really lovely flower. Also, I had a bit of a crush on her at the time, but wouldn't realise so until AFTER high school because of how far in the closet I was. I'll never know if she meant anything by it, we haven't spoken since graduation. I've been on a few dates and been in several rather casual relationships, but I can't say I've ever received flowers. For anything even beyond that like for work or awards or get-well-soon stuff. I'd love to though.