#I kind of like his face a little better
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Crosshair sketch, because I wasn’t super happy with how I drew him in those expression challenges:
#the bad batch#crosshair bad batch#I kind of like his face a little better#I’m trying to do Tem Morrison if he got stuck in a taffy puller and I don’t think I’m quite getting it#Crosshair’s the most fun out of all of them to draw#but it’s also really easy to push the leanness of his face too far#also the armor I need to work on that#sketch
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they would get divorced in one universe just to find eachother in another one
alternatively titled: sometimes you're the level-headed token flesh-head impulse-control-and-polycule-member of a stubborn, eccentric, and hearty telephone-headed drug addict, and there's cruelty in the world you deem fit to suicidally fight, and that either goes about as well as you'd expect it to, or you learn about love and the value of your life and junk along the way
#scribbles#milton r wallace#callum crown#phonegingi#sgt norm allen#norm allen#dialtown#dialtown a phone dating sim#..uh idk if callum and milt have a ship name orz#normgingi#milton norm parallels save me. Save me milton norm parallels#very specific but its why i prefer to look at the callum-milt-marla situation as like tragic polyamory#as opposed to a cheating one#it adds to the callum-gingi parallels. theyv both got polycule situations C:#though i suppose you could call a cheating situation a dark parallel to gingi's polycule the same way you could call#milton's entire deal a dark parallel to their relationship with norm/the narrator#However i just like tragic polyamory. my visions of milton and marla ALSO being in love yet having the mutual#realization that they hate callum more than they love eachother (esp milton) is highly specific yet also everything to me#misery loves company and all that jazz. a THIRD combination of people having divorce shit going on#this guys ruining my life IM GONNA FUCK HIS WIFE! (They are already in a consensual polyamorous relationship milton is just making it weird#Sorry these tags were going to be like meaningful discussion about this art and then i was enabled to talk about THIS AGAIN#OH YEAH this art in particular i discovered halftones and also started actually using blending brushes#milts face isnt drawn. obviously. but im imagining a kind of 'oh you!' exasperated fondness#as opposed to norm who's just a cranky little tsundere. jokes on milt though HIS relationship is HEALTHIER#also i will never pass up the chance to draw gingi and callum together#theyr both characters i adore drawing gingi's round shapes and different textures and callums cute little bolts#but also they do look soooo similar and yet so different its always really fun to do#and theyr just. my favs lol. my top 3 favs go gingi-mingus-callum hehe#Ok thats all. thank you for coming to my rambles#fig said i should post my art at better times and so i am and that means when i post my art im AWAKE ENOUGH TO RAMBLE ABOUT IT LOL
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☀️ IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! 🌙
This is my gift to myself :) I drew my favorite guys ever.
For a while I've been itching to draw the wedding outfits from this post again. I made them up on the fly as I was drawing, but I actually really like how they ended up turning out. They're super cute!! (though, yet again, you can't see almost any part of Dedede's outfit... 💔)
But then I couldn't get it out of my head to make a companion piece for it, with their mirror versions. And so. I did. What they have going on is a little bit messy, though...
Marriage or divorce!! Take your pick.
#kirby#kirby series#meta knight#king dedede#metadede#dark meta knight#shadow dedede#mirror metadede#i do like mirror mtdd. like a lot. but poor planning ahead with hcs and ocs caused them to end up. kind of doomed in my thing lol#maybe i'll go in depth about it one day. as much as i can anyway. i haven't fully figured it out myself#my art#couple details:#mk's tooth gaps are probably one of my favorite parts of his drawing. they're just so cute i'm so glad i knocked his teeth out#while mtdd is on Non Descript Happy Place mirror mtdd is specifically in the dimension mirror level from katam and ktd#just slightly. sparklier and shinier. because that's just how i do things. and without the buildings#i did try to add them but it made everything busier than it already was#mirror mtdd's faces are obscured on purpose but if you look closely you can catch a peek of dmk's expression through his veil#which! it's meant to be kind of like a widow's veil.. symbolism and what not#i couldn't think of what the opposite of a star was so i did hearts (for the plating. cheeks. and pauldrons)#i fucked up the rings.. because i got my lefts and rights confused..#but i kept it Anyway because it looked cool. i'm sorry though it's so annoying once you notice#i still have the flats and a better look at ddd's outfit (and a Little of sddd's face)#so maybe i'll post that later#i think that's about it#i'm 20 today :) sigh. the passage of time#god the way this has been crunched sickens me. don't look closer actually
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Did Brambleclaw actually disown the Three when the secret is revealed? I don't remember this happening (then again, it's been a while) but it does bug me how all three go "Poor brambleclaw :(( He was such a good dad to us and he has to learn we're not even his biokits :(((( poor guy" while simultaneously shitting on Leafpool and Squirrelflight despite them showing them more care and affection before AND after the reveal. If he does disown them, then.... WOW is the double standard real here.
In-canon? It's something you have to approximate. They don't seem to have a concept of ""disowning"" because blood relation is taken as such an insurmountable, FUNDAMENTAL fact of life. He doesn't write them out of his little kitty will and testament, but his actions ARE disowning.
It's as if the fact he is not their biological father is an automatic disowning. From the reveal onwards, he is immediately cold, distant, and the "betrayal" is mentioned often. The Three also explicitly don't blame him for his behavior, like it's just to be expected that he's Not Their Dad anymore.
Lionblaze in particular stares longingly at him several times, really missing him. And like... that's kinda what gets my goat so much
I do believe Brambleclaw is entitled to his feelings of betrayal. I believe Squilf was ultimately in the right to lie, actually, but he's still allowed to be upset and angry that she didn't trust him enough to tell him something so important. THAT SAID, YOU ARE NEVER ENTITLED TO TREAT OTHERS POORLY.
And that's what GETS me. He isn't upset that it was all revealed in such a painful and embarassing way when this could have been avoided, or that his lover struggled with this lie for so long without him, or that he feels he's lost his children. Squilf points it out in The Last Hope-- He's so ANGRY at Squilf that he will THROW HIS FAMILY AWAY
Lionblaze seems desperate to be his son again. Hollyleaf is gone for months, and Brambleclaw is still huffing about the secret when she comes back from the dead. Squilf is fawning in the hopes it makes him talk to her again. Doesn't matter. Brambleclaw Is Upsetti Spaghetti so the narrative will never examine his role in hurting this family he apparently loved so much.
(Narrative seems to understand full well that when Squilf lies for a good reason, that doesn't invalidate the hurt Brambleclaw felt... but when Brambleclaw is upset for a good reason, it actually DOES validate what he put her and his kids through)
In BB it is explicitly a disowning. He cuts them off as his children, and they reciprocate. BB!Lionblaze does so in a ball of fury, vowing that he has ONLY a mother.
#It does start getting.... ''better'' after oots. On the disowning front#Lion seems to be fixing his relationship with him#Which... actually is something I dislike tbh#Can we pls get canon acknowledgement of the Little Pogchamp scene where he lets Ash beat his son#And downplays this to holly#Pls#Idk i just feel lion makes a better mama's boy#Really close to squilf and then like... tries to get close to Leafp too but it just. Cant click.#In this very sad but also kind of validating way#Leafp isnt his mom... she didn't raise him. But shes still his aunt. She still loves him as ferociously as she always did#The reveal changed nothing about his family. In the end.#It truly was just a reveal.#(And then he stares angrily and also forlornly at bramble)#Bramblestar is honestly a very interesting character if you choose to take him at face value#And wade through the writer favoritism#I keep coming back to him man.#Such an incredibly mundane and honest type of terrible#Always consumed by his pride and terrible lack of self esteem. Everyone wants you to be better. But you keep messing up#Your honor. I hate him. I have a picture of him in my heart shaped locket.#I am putting him in an exhibit. I am blasting him with a hose.
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so i uhhhh. started PoE
#wanted to try making a custom portrait for my guy!#tbh design wise im not a fan bc it doesnt *quite* fit his vibe & there is too much going on with too little variation#& his face is too generic & id like more glowy bits & also i kind of really wanna incorporate mushrooms smh#<- result of this being supposed to be a sketch/concept but i just Kept Going dhkgdjf#BUT! painting/style wise this is turning out way better than expected so i'm keeping it :]#at least for now#anyways. woe dwarven nature godlike be upon ye!#he lowkey (highkey) hates being a godlike rip </3#cant admit that to himself tho cus surely that would be ungrateful to the god who blessed him and/or make that god angry right?#so instead he escapes his body with spiritshifting~#-- i mean of course he does it for his love and connection with nature. obviously. haha.#my art#my ocs#oc: alder#poe
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when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~
#kimikawaii this week for sure!!!!!! (has been saying that since july)#ik the nghy payoff will be ✨sweet✨ but it’s kinda funny how hw are slowburning nagisa’s role in the series as a whole#mans has a grand total of 3 songs to date and only 1 has a cv ver#place your bets what do you think will come first? nghy duet or ariken duet#t h o u g h. ariken is also kind of a slowburn but we all knew they’d get together since ijiwaru release (shoutout to the og miku ver)#some say that ariken is still not canon in the novels to this very day#can’t believe we got arisa’s future career aspirations reveal before ariken canon in the novels smh#but i digress!!!!!!!!!!!! nagisa needs more action and attention!!!!!!#he did have kind of a ‘the bus came back’ moment with the izumo collab but we never saw his face again after that#(full cast merch doesnt count bc p. much everyone’s included in them except for the school nurse and kako)#so. all im saying is: slowburn nghy by all means. just dont slowburn nagisa’s character arc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#now that mona mania has cooled off (to a degree) and chizusweep has mellowed out (somewhat) it’s shiranami’s time to shine!!!!!!!!#y. yeah. ik it’s harder to market him bc he’s a literal average (albeit handsome) joe but that’s part of his charm!!!!!#i mean!!!!! he can cook!!!!! he stans ft4!!!!! he’s devoted to the girl he loves!!!!!! he’s a dreamboat!!!! what more could you ask for?#but. i do have to say that nghy developments have been kinda awkwardly handled as a whole… esp with heroine ikusei#i think nagisa should’ve been introduced in heroiku or something… since he was planned from the start of hiyori’s development…#maybe they were trying to pull a ‘2nd love wins’ kinda parallel with kthn? but the ascana retcon made everything awkward huh…#i think it could’ve worked out in the mv-verse. like if they’d placed heroika+sukiuso after the fight+make up in herotaru#so the timeline would go smoothly from heroiku -> herotaru -> heroika#with hiyo realising that she’d be better off focusing on work and track after the asuka debacle + chizu fight#like a ‘forget romance!!! i gotta work hard and run hard!!! omg wait nagisa wdym you love me???’ kinda thing#but the [redacted] anime p much cut + pasted the asuka arc with the nagisa visit and. hm.#is this just an excuse to blame the clumsy handling of the nghy arc on the [redacted] anime? m… maybe…?#but it all still could’ve kinda worked out if they’d shifted the timelines around a little. y’know. since sukiuso mv has nagisa visit in oct#idk i think having hiyo learn how to doll herself up from lxl for her first crush (asuka)#and then using what she learned to yassify herself to meet up with nagisa would’ve been neater?#like a ‘hey look nagisa :) i applied what i learned from my pals :)’ kinda thing#or maybe chizu and juri could’ve helped her with the nagisa dressup scene post-herotaru fight… but i digress!!!!!!#hmmmmmmmmmm… well. this has gone way off topic… anyways nghy canon and cute that’s all byeeee#the dude from gamushara
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our flag means death S2E3: the innkeeper
#our flag means death#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2 spoilers#shrimp gifs#it was just a very pretty scene i think#i'm laughing because i played around with curves -- as you do -- but then i had to manually bring the brightness down and make everything#more blue again because it's just better that way lol#god i'm having... so many little marbles bouncing around my head like#this post is already tagged with all the spoiler tags i think i can talk in here#the way it started i had No Inkling At All that this would be this kind of setting. so i didn't pay attention to the surroundings or all th#stuff. hell i could barely hear what they're saying because all my fancy schmancy english skills fall apart in the face of your normal soun#mixing. I MISSED THAT IZ AND ED SAID “LOVE” LIKE HELLO#but. but anyway. but. but once it was revealed that This Is All In Ed's Head. that hornigold is ed and everything is ed. man. god.#it's cold and wet and dark (ed likes warmth). ed was washed up on the shore with his face full of sand but THEN he got rescued by someone#who he hated and associated with all the pain and violence AND who then force-fed him soup so he could get better. who had pretty pieces of#glass hanging from his tent (there's no sun but the decoration itself is a promise of a pretty sighs when the rays of the sun hit#just right--) AND you can't forget the sandals. and the play-acting and aoughhhh EEEDDDDDDDD god he's so good HE'S SO GOOD#i dont think i should touch the delightful revenge scenes because they're dark as fuck and idk if the files i have are hq enough#to survive the becurvening. BUT. ed my love!!! i hope this is not where your insanities end
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Frankly I think Alistair being mildly shitty to that mage in Ostagar seems pretty in-character for the guy he is before the massive, life-altering trauma that is the Ostagar massacre wherein he sees all of his Grey Warden comrades, his beloved mentor/father figure, and his beloathed half-brother/convenient-target-of-projection absolutely torn to shreds by literal Thedas boogeymen. IIRC Morrigan and Flemeth both comment on his wack behavior after Ostagar and then by the time we get to Lothering Alistair just fully surrenders any and all responsibility (and, frankly, agency) to the player's Warden for the foreseeable future. It can then take anywhere from a couple IRL hours to the entire second act of the game for him to retake almost any amount of it back. And depending on the player's choices in dialogue, and especially whether or not they choose to romance him, we may only see flashes of that guy we met at Ostagar before he potentially morphs into almost someone else entirely (hardened!King!Alistair). All that to say, I don't actually think it's a useful criticism of "characterization" to bring up Alistair's glibness as compared to his behavior in the majority of the game because from where I'm standing (looking directly at his snottiness about Cailan, his complaints about being assigned to the Tower of Ishal, his Templar-esque focusing on Morrigan and Flemeth being apostates, his generally pretty brusque manner with the Warden recruits) it seems fairly in-line with the rest of his behavior at Ostagar.
#like seriously he's a bit of a dick (more than what becomes usual) while at ostagar#before his world is shattered and his brain (and personality) is completely rearranged by seeing everyone important to him slaughtered#he clings so hard to the warden as a lifeline that he kind of goes full-on fawning mode for a little bit there#just giving up the reins completely and following orders as (imo) a method of coping with massive loss and trauma#throughout the course of the game he recovers somewhat and goes back to being kind of a dick#and/or growing up pretty extensively and becoming a much better and more tolerant person as a whole#but the idea of him being a dick to a mage because he's being moved around like a chess piece rather than a person#by someone who should NOT have the authority to do that and that fuckin ANNOYS him and then this dude's getting all up in his face about it#as if this was HIS decision and then being accused of harassing this random ass dude he could not give less of a fuck about for funsies#and thus him going full obnoxious shithead teenager about it is somehow OUT of character?? for ALISTAIR??? wack#like nah bro i know we all love ali but our vision is being obscured by that love and also how sweet he is in a romance#just being besties with him unlocks an incredible amount of unfiltered BITCHINESS that is fully in-line with ostagar!alistair's shenanigans#dragon age: origins#alistair theirin#by apples#da meta#anyway there's been disk horse on my dash for the last couple days and this is my take on it
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I've been thinking about how you've made Talas' physique even MORE powerful lately. And now I'm just imagining him, one-armed, chucking Graves like the world's angriest javelin at their common enemies.
That's genuinely so in character that I had to draw it. Average hunting tactic... and Graves would be all too excited for it, honestly
#in all seriousness honestly im really glad !! This is kind of what i always imagined talas would actually look like :]#i just wasnt confident enough to draw him like that initially but little by little ive gotten better at conveying his body type properly#and i genuinely want him to come across as strong as hell even besides the fact that hes big. like i wanna convey it in shape too#he literally kills huge sea monsters for a living as a day job and then kills the other people who hunt those monsters for fun#and hes banned from walking into any tavern unless he drops his whole paycheck at the counter as soon as he enters#he should simply look the part so im trying my best for that. i have to do him justice#anyway thank u i hope u enjoy this too. i was gonna draw graves just being chucked on their own but then i drew the harpoon#and i thought it was so hilarious to have them on that instead than chucked like a football (which would also happen)#but in said case they'd be less excited about it#if u read all of this also props to you heres a present. its fish (slaps you in the face with it)#windyart#ask#anon#scribble comic#talas#graves#challenger deep
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I have a lot of fondness for clunky Hallmark Christmas romance movies with rock bottom production values, vaguely established and extremely contrived plots, dodgy dialgoue, often questionable line readings, and child actors playing a kid who seems either three years younger or older than themselves. Hallmark have not undermined themselves with glib, self aware irony or attempted to "elevate" the delightful low artform that they excel in. Refreshing, honestly.
#netflix could never#they are incapable of that level of earnest storytelling#for this specific kind of story at least#because they think they're better than it#hallmark knows that none of us are too good for a movie about an autistic marine biologist#who thinks her best friend's brother ghosted her after they hit it off at the friend/sister's wedding#and *tells him* that repeatedly to his face instead of not addressing it#and he's like 'I definitely replied ot your email! you ghosted me! but let's let bygones be bygones. It's The Holidays' for the whole movie#and the resolution is that it got saved in his drafts#amazing#what other studios are delivering this level of banal miscommunication#what other movies have b-plots about learning how to be good at talking to interns as well as seals?#where little kids read poems they wrote at a christmas parties that sound *exactly* like a little kid wrote them?#and not in the 'kids who haven't internalised cliche yet can write some beautiful lines' way#mystic christmas: would recommend to a friend#there are no supernatural elements btw#that's the name of the town#which literally could have been named anything because it doesn't seem to be important to the plot at all#and no one makes any plays on 'mystic' that relate to its literal meaning
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mea tormenta
#shoma uno#figure skating#gpf 2022#r:gif#the look on his face here!!!#99.99 injured 0.01 dead#this moment had never stand out as much as it did here#usually he was *shoma intense original* on this beat#but today he clearly was having a blast#this could be an intended performance feature and he's just getting better into it for all i know#but i think it was a little 'breaking the character' moment#you can see on the replay that he got the 'fuck yeah i did that' kind of smile after 3A+2A (precious boy)#he was done with the jumps and went all out#he was ON#but remembered to tone it down a bit after this moment lol#(also to get spins and ending on time hahahahah)#(mea CSSp properate)#and honestly i don't care if it doesn't match the overall mood#i like it this way so much more#probably related to the insane amount of affection i have for shoma and him being happy but i digress#this moment was the final nail in my coffin (the almost starfish was a ressurection spell)#i am making a set (or trying to haha) but i really wanted to highlight this moment individually#oh how i wish it was on the replay in better quality and possibly slow mo damn
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Due to the nature of his work, Copperhead isn't active every night. He may spend a week hunting somebody down before delivering the coup de grâce, leaving him with a little free time before picking up his next contract. Copperhead often spends his free time caring for the various snakes and other reptile species that come into his care; sometimes these are animals belonging to former victims but often they are creatures which have been neglected or improperly cared for in some way, the serpent metahuman carefully nursing them back to health before making sure they end up in good hands.
#🐍 || musings#🐍 || headcanons#Sorry for the random headcanon post asdfghjkl just fed the new baby and I am emotional about it😭#Had him for about 2 weeks now and have been petrified I'm ill-treating him or doing something wrong#He's had his second meal and took it very nicely <3#So I can finally relax and focus on today's asks!#I had to move him from his horrible 4lt RUB to Ror's old faunarium as you know#But I kept hearing conflicting information that it'll be a big change which'll stress him#The trouble with RUB's is that they are so hard to thermoregulate#Sweet baby HATED the excessive heat but the faunarium offers a much better gradient#He's pooped and eaten and all is looking healthy so I can look into getting his next upgrade :')#I'm sorry for the random snake rambling you guys have no idea how relieved I am rn asgsff#He's such a sweetheart and I'm terrified of doing anything to hurt or upset him the sweet little puppy-faced guy <3#But YEAH Copperhead is knowledgable af when it comes to reptiles and their care cuz he's kind of one himself#Stuff like improper humidity and care upsets him#He'd absolutely keep babies in his poncho to make them feel safe
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I don't know how to properly word this, but. Peppino stole my heart and the way you draw him gives the impression of "If he hugged or held me I would feel so so safe and happy past the fact he would be very clammy". Thank you.
This is so CUTE thank YOU
#answered#chattin#peppino#he is FAT which means he automatically gives very good hugs#ignore the clamminess and the stiffness he is just wound up like a ticking time bomb#also#i feel like the way i characterize (and draw) him helps alot#like ingame he is the most anxious and frightened little man in existence#but post game (and even technically pregame/intro) he is shown to be at WORST an annoyed and laidback kind of dude#he is engaging in tomfoolery with a completely blank face lmao#i think post game he would just be Some Dude with Tendencies…#what i mean is#he would be a better hugger post game bc he is not racing to stop his pizzeria from exploding into dust#hes. normal 😭
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omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!
#& [it might be 5am but i'll still see if i can draw some] trackpad homemade reacts. inhales & hands to head/face x9 then walking off#site giving pretty random Suggested assortment there where i was like oh right sure. prob not tumblr keywords captures lmaooo#(plus happened to have it open in firefox) but my god Not the scapegoated literal seers lmfao. whoooo. my god#also it was just really good anyways like right nice. damn#the (queerrr) seerrr the perceiverrr the truth tellerrr the ruinerrr the scapegoat be-errr the internalizerrr the neurodivergerrr#& now i Know there is 0% chance ppl weren't putting ''always a gay cousin or it's you (avuncular edition)'' in that thing#family tree design not even leaving space for the hypothetical kids of this relative we mostly pretend is nonexistent hmm#also that necessarily. it's giving all intents & purposes Disability abt a dozen ways & it's saying [accept that] vs [we'd better fix him]#you don't cite said [it's giving disability] as part of the We All Hate The Horrible Little Freak scapegoating justification & then be like#''actually we don't have to do that anymore b/c he's sooo normal :)'' or not if you're serious about [don't scapegoat your family] anyways#which like oh ok they Are serious so The Weirdo's scapegoating / casting out / lack of support Isn't justified#so he's still weird & you just gotta get over that b/c otherwise. bye. having a natural rat affinity is such a slay btw#& we've all been there like ''you NEVER want two scapegoats talking it's Over if they do'' + littlest kid is like um. they're the best#plankton voice Correct! inhale i'm so impressed like. getting to go ''finally someone Normal'' (serious abt letting someone Be Weird(tm))#which also always counts as like mm hard time suggesting someone's Not queer & also autistic for a start lmao. an award#adding in suggested layers like talking to oneself; talking Oddly / w difficulty; physical uncoordination; rituals ; acting; animal friend#the layer of ''& all that's fine? like?'' again rather than him ever suppressing or even changing it so far as it's suggested#besides that it's observed as Weird like but so? or else what? nonrhetorical: hostility / rescinded support & driving someone off is what?#& that Truth like the [worse treatment / exclusion / scapegoat] oft recipe for someone giving the support they're not getting themself#again Never let the [ppl both experiencing this] talk oh it's So over. or the child who's all i like family support & kindness actuallyy...#obviously also like the complete opposite of billions. knowing what they're about & letting this Just As Beloved crucial guy be So Weird#but billions Also [hmm feels right for our scapegoated guy to Perceive / Tell Truths / openly want/need & then be hurt] now get his ass#anyway [guy who could always go way on could go way on but only has thirty tags & it's 6am & i still mean to try some drawing] voice#remarkable amt of So True & ''it feels like ppl on the same page w/exactly what they're doing are all behind this''#remarkable amount of concentrated My God That Is So A Slay located in bruno all at once. what a gift#sticking to ''sometimes someone In Your Group is Weird. Disabled. deal'' firmly enough there's no ;) oh u can bet we'll Fix Him in the end#everyone always assumes the worst so....me when i'm [always as a kid yearning for Living In Secret Passages]. emile gtmpota?#oh congrats to whatever rando who will be having his dramatic gay reunion w/bruno just out of frame obviously. i perceive#now imagine if That rando was....emile gtmpota! what a crossover event. haunting4haunting. do i have enough tags for this lmao. yea#& having 1 more tag to say: as though the [endless serving] isn't enough bruno's also as close to gender envy as it gets. incl rats; sure
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yk i genuinely don't think ive ever been able to actually express my gender dysphoria out loud to another person cos with my family they'll get uncomfortable or think im somehow bragging bc i have the misfortune of a hyperfeminine body, with therapists im always trying not to say smth that makes me sound too self hating to get letters written, and with other trans people i don't want to upset them. idk writing it down just feels like im cataloguing everything that's wrong with me but I don't think ill ever have anyone i can talk to about it either
#i guess i got lucky in some ways with PCOS and my face is androgynous#but just even besides my weight my body type itself is just. not doing me any favors when it comes to passing#maybe if i was skinny i could deal with it or fat with an otherwise masculine body but both just feels very insurmountable#like ive just never seen a cis man that looks anything like me even guys that r the same weight#hell even trans men never look like me#idk maybe t will help with it longterm and at the end of the day it is what it is. like i don't have to like my body to be kind to myself#been considering lipo with top surgery too bc i just#i don't even have the typical pcos body type that is a little more masculine#like ugh. realistically ik i always cover myself head to toe anyways and that nobody is rlly looking that hard#in most photos if im dressed well i just look like a guy with wide hips. most strangers who've seen photos of me#assumed i was cis esp with clothes that diminish the hips#but i wish i could look at myself naked and not be utterly disgusted and alienated at almost all my features is all#ik itll get better with top surgery and i do have things i like like my shoulders and calves#but man just. i know i am not the first to express this but being a 5'3 fat man with an hourglass figure is not fun!#they literally do not make mens pants in my size 😭 at least not ones i can go try on in a store#i would just really like to kill the transphobe in my head mostly. or at least show his ugly ass to somebody else.
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Oh my god HOW DID YOU LIKE SVSSS!!!!!
i liked it more than i thought i would but overall less than i might have given the potential of the story, i think in general i really enjoyed the characters (mxtx never goes wrong with characters, she creates them in a way that makes me feel unhinged) and the world building but the pay off to the set up—which i really liked!—felt a bit........ i mean, just alright.
the dynamics too are pure mxtx, personally the bin/gqiu dynamic specifically really was the least interesting part of the whole story. to me!! but individually i loved both characters. my interest was just elsewhere because """elsewhere""" felt way more fascinating idk how to explain it
was very, very happy about the extra with airplane and the yue qingyuan / shen jiu one because that's exactly what i wanted more of in the story itself as well as just more shen yuan/qingqiu interacting with cang qiong mountain
maybe it's my orv brain but like i told jana a while back i think i would have enjoyed svsss way more if it was more about shen yuan (loner; hater; etc) suddenly finding himself among all of these people (disciples looking up to him; sect siblings relying on him one way or another; common folk admiring him; etc etc) and starting to.... live? again?
Shen Qingqiu hadn't noticed that, unconsciously, he no longer considered the disciples around him (...) to be mob characters the novel had described in a scant number of words.
^from volume one, he starts seeing them almost immediately because he's not actually that separate and he genuinely cares. all the time. about everything. even before that we get:
This was only a book, and all the people were constructs, imaginary characters. Logically, Shen Qingqiu was very clear on this fact...but when a character was actually being taunted and bullied right before his eyes, it was just flat-out unrealistic to expect him to be completely unmoved.
like why are you lying, shen yuan (<- svsss tagline if there ever was one)
just the idea of this really lonely detached guy finding a community, i know it's not the story mxtx was trying to tell but again, with the set up i really wanted to see it go in that direction.
there's one line from vol two where liu qingge goes "you fear becoming a burden to cang qiong mountain (...) but cang qiong mountain fears not your burden"
and basically what i'm saying is that i wish the story had been about THAT
(and also ning yingying's lines in that same chapter about shizun always taking on everything himself and why is it always you like that whole moment with the cang qiong mountain almost begging him to see that they care. idek what i'm saying but you know)
(also foaming at the mouth that we only got tiny tiny glimpses of shen yuan's life from before, those handful of times he mentioned his siblings i wanted to take a bite out of my kindle. tell me more!! dear fucking lord tell me more!! keep talking! elaborate!! he really felt very "kim dokja and his fourth wall" at times, sorry once more about the orv brain)
tldr: i guess i wanted a story about shen yuan/qingqiu but mxtx created svsss to be a story about bin/gqiu. and i just have to be okay with that.
#does this make any sense? no. am i still hitting ''post''? yes. sorry kay#fra.txt#fra.xml#pathos-logical#overall i quite enjoyed obsessive lu.o bin.ghe. so intense and possessive about the one person who showed him a little kindness#(so what if he also showed him a lot of pain too here and there?)#but like i said the bin.gqiu dynamic just didn't pull me in. of course to each their own#(''one person'' but poor yingying was trying to help him since day one.)#but also..... to me it felt like his arc was the least satisfying. he just.... is. whereas most everyone else seems to evolve more tangibly#right now i can't help but think of tianlang-jun. ''i can't bring myself to hate humans''#not to mention all the women from his harem becoming characters in their own right#i wish i could explain myself better but i don't have the words. sorry!#l.uo bin.ghe you ARE interesting i just feel like your story could have been more#as an apology here's my favorite line of yours: ''I don't want you to repay me. I just couldn't get over my anger''#see?? i pay attention to you too baby boy#i should re-read all of ^^^ that but i won't </3#edit: one thing i forgot to mention is that i did like the small snippet we got of bin/g-ge reacting to shen yu.an/qin.gqiu#like now that's something that immediately caught my eye it already made for such a more fascinating dynamic.#also i've seen a few things about shen yua.n (not trasmigrated) getting to meet bin.ghe/bin.g-ge and again that i would take a peak at#fully black lotus bin/g-ge coming face to face with shen ''i'm a hater but also can't help but be kind all the time'' yu.an truly pickles#my tickle. i'm sat. i'm listening. i'm compelled.
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