#I hate that I’m even doing this like get out of my fucking brain no like I hate it so much I can’t even express

[housewarningparty]

🖤 / Fuffy / Glass

em, you're diabolical

cw: cancer

-

“Buffy?” Faith’s voice is tentative, soft.

“I’m okay,” Buffy says, perfectly calm. There’s no reason to freak Faith out. She needs to hold it together, needs to stay— 

The glass shatters before Buffy even realizes she’d picked it up, a spray of shards erupting from her fist like sharp, dangerous confetti. Her palm is sliced to shreds and there’s blood, suddenly, and no, god, no it’s all going wrong. 

She lets go of the shards and suddenly Faith is there, a hand on her wrist, whispering in her ear, soothing nonsense — it’s okay, we’re alright, it’s okay— as she guides Buffy’s hand to the sink, under the faucet. Buffy barely feels the cold water, barely feels the pain from the wound, just stares at Faith’s hands guiding hers, so carefully, spreading Buffy’s palms flat, rinsing the wound, gently brushing away stray pieces of glass.

In a daze, she lets Faith settle her at the kitchen island in one of those stupid, too-high bar stools Faith thought were so badass looking (“They remind me of this dive I used to go to.”). Faith wraps her hand in a towel, holding it tight against her until the bleeding starts to slow.

“Do you wanna go to the hospital?” Faith asks.

Buffy wants to scream.

Surprisingly, she laughs at the irony. Giddy, hard laughter that, judging by the way Faith flinches, is probably kind of manic and scary. Buffy’s not sure at what point the laughter turns to something else, but suddenly she can’t breathe through the snot in her nose, cant’ see through the tears blurring her vision.

Faith is right there with her, the hand not staunching Buffy’s bleeding is cupping Buffy’s jaw, dragging her forward. Buffy doesn’t expect the kiss, not when she’s gross like this, ugly-crying and falling apart, but she can’t bring herself to pull away. She leans in, struggles to catch her breath and kisses Faith desperately, like she might not get another chance to do it.

“It’s okay,” Faith whispers, shushing Buffy gently, kissing her again and again, soft, soft, soft. “We’ll figure it out, B.”

“You can’t figure out cancer,” Buffy bites out, hating herself for how harsh she sounds, but hating Faith a little too for having the gall to say that to her of all people. Not when Buffy knows better.

“Doc says it’s treatable,” Faith protests. “Chemo and maybe a surgery. Other stuff too, maybe, I don’t know. They’re doing some more tests. Plus, y’know, with the slayer stuff — I might have a real shot.”

Might.

Buffy wants to crumple to the floor. She wants to wail and scream. Make a pact with a demon. Fix this. Undo this.

She wants to wake up.

“I don’t wanna tell a bunch of people yet,” Faith says. “I wanna know more. But I couldn’t keep it from you. I just… Fuck, I wish I wasn’t doing this to you. I’m sorry.”

“But you quit,” Buffy protests, as if she can reason their way out of this. Faith hadn’t smoked a pack of cigarettes in at least three years. “You don’t even…”

Faith shrugs, offers a helpless, little wobbly smile that doesn’t meet her eyes.”Day late, dollar short.”

“Will you take this seriously?” Buffy snaps.

“I think you’re taking it serious enough for both of us,” Faith says, smiling infuriatingly when Buffy scowls at her.

“Faith, please…”

“I know,” Faith says. She reaches across the counter to yank a paper towel off the dispenser and offers it to Buffy, waits patiently for her to blow her nose before continuing. “I know what this is to you. I wish it was something else. I wish…”

“I don’t know if I could take losing you,” Buffy says. It hurts to even say it out loud. She thinks of all the time they wasted — five good years together since the fall of Sunnydale, since they figured out what they could mean to each other. It’s not enough time. Buffy hasn’t been able to love her long enough.

“I’d put a bullet in my brain,” Faith says, so suddenly, so bluntly, so matter of factly that it startles a laugh out of Buffy. “I’m dead serious. But you’re not like that, Buff. You were always stronger than me. You’d make it.”

Buffy shakes her head. She hates where this is going, dreads the thought of continuing the conversation, of arguing with Faith over whether any of that is true at all. She doesn’t feel strong right now in the least.

Faith must read something of it on her face because she leans in again and kisses Buffy once more. This one is deep, lingering, sweet. When she pulls away, Faith is breathing a little shakier but smiling. “We’re getting ahead of ourselves. You’re not giving up on me this early, are you, B?”

“No,” Buffy says. She swallows hard, past all the fears crowding her chest, the ice cold terror that hasn’t let go of her heart since Faith said the words Hey, there’s something we gotta talk about. But she means it. Faith needs her to say this. Needs her to mean it. “No, I’m not giving up on you, Faith.”

[th3-ann0unc3r]

my evan headcannons because somehow this man has wormed himself into my little brain!!!!

(i’m gonna do it based on ships and just hc in general!)

General

-He/they pronouns (wishes more people would use they)(pandora is the best at using their pronouns)

-he’s definitely got a stuffed animal that he’s had since a kid that definitely needs a good wash

-smell sensitive (he hates vanilla and anything mixed with poppy) (will get bad migraines if he smells vanilla to much)

-sleeps on the left side of the bed (i got no explanation for this he just seems like the type)

-incredibly smart but just won’t apply himself

-Figured out he was gay in 4th year (BARTY CROUCH JR THE MAN YOU ARE)

-won’t wear his fucking glasses (he says it ruins his outfit)

————————————————————————

Rosekiller

-Barty bites like crazy but evan just lets him do it (it’s bartys love language)

-Evan sits on bartys right anytime they sit together

-barty always keeps ahold of evan’s glasses even if he doesn’t want them

-They sneak out all the time literally just to go sit at the lake and talk

————————————————————————

Moonrose (this ship is like brain rot)

-When evan found out remus was a werewolf he did all the research he could legally do (and even some illegal but nobody talks about that)

-They got together after the prank and Evan smacked the shit out of sirius when he found out

-They definitely have broken up and got back together a couple of times (they both have hard ass heads)

-Remus got evan back into reading

-Remus’ sweaters are too small for evan so he has to go buy ones that are to big so evan can steal his clothes without complaining.

-They smoke so much together

————————————————————————

Evan/Regulus (i don’t know their ship name….)

-Evan is literally a sweet talker and regulus falls for it EVERY SINGLE TIME

-the only reason evan ever gets up early is when regulus has quidditch practice and he wants to support him

-Evan buys lighters that remind him of regulus and gives them to him at presents

-The day regulus died they had gotten into a fight and the last thing evan ever said to him was “Well cry me a fucking river”

————————————————————————

Evan/Sirius (again i’ve got no ship name)

-Sirius cannot stand any of evan’s friends so they mostly hang out with the gryffindors

-When pandora heard they were dating she asked sirius if evan has been holding him captive

-They smoke so much together it’s kinda scary

-“My perfect rose” “My favorite star”

[goldkirk]

I would love to understand why my brain and body are desperate to not shower in the safety of my own home but perked up at the offer to go shower at the gym that’s full of people I don’t know and men who could pin me and locker rooms with open doorways and less control over cleanliness than I can get in my own apartment. Something something the years of swim practice and swim meet locker room showers being safe I guess?

[alagaisia]

Hey if you’re still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me 😊 please and thank you

Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (“She was writing kids books!” They said. “She didn’t know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didn’t examine it closely. It’s a mistake anyone could make,” we said. “She would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,” we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.

That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of “maybe she doesn’t realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERF” and then “how could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things she’s retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her work” and finally “oh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.”

Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasn’t trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. It’s weird to discover that there’s a room in your house that’s rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you can’t live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending it’s still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadn’t yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because what’s going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.

JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic children’s books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.

[clowningcrows]

accidentally took a fairly objective step away from myself today and went. oh shit. i’m like REALLY hard on myself aren’t i?

[genderfluid-druid]

“what happened to him?” “he read a book so bad he returned it to the library a third of the way through, but now his brain won’t stop chewing on the potential it had 😔”

[peapod20001]

Did sleeping help

No </3

[teethgnashing]

i need to stop talking abt body image issues with people who don’t have a double chin

[bo0zey]

when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro

[badolmen]

So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.

[no1ryomafan]

SRW is such a funny thing for me to think about cause it’s like “wow a trpg game that’s been ongoing for decades that really encapsulates how huge and significant mecha is to japan by having every and all mecha been featured in this giant crossover that also has really cool attack animations that replicate the shows they’re from well, with new original content for some shows sprinkled in as well” at first glance then I proceed to be salty by going “oh wait the main show I like in here is only ever used for one iteration which they end up butchering and all the other mechas I’ve liked have shown up maybe once because I’ve liked the ones that had to flop in Japan- also this game caused tags to be unnecessarily filled with crossovers and people acting like they know a series just because it was in SRW thanks I hate it” and this cycle is only a constant because I haven’t actually played a SRW besides 30s demo for a bit 💀

[milo-is-rambling]

I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it

[hellfireeddiemunson]

sick of making plans with a specific friend only for her to not reach out abt actually hanging out until the afternoon after i’ve waited all day to hear back from her or for her to just cancel last minute entirely after i’ve again waited all day to hear back from her

[seilon]

man im really fucking bad at hanging out with people no wonder i have like two friends

[jocelynships]

Me: I have motivation to draw!

My hand: Yeah we’re not going to cooperate with you

Me: :/

[buck-yyyy]

i feel Very Weird