#i’m always the fucking outsider in these conversations because they’re always so… personal?

[dismalflo]

how it starts

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader who like each other from the start ✩ 3.7k words

summary: you know Lily from a shared class, when she invites you to meets some of her friends, Sirius and Remus can't stop flirting.

cw: fluff, reader is a lil shy and insecure, the boys are very sweet, established wolfstar, pre relationship with reader

an: I really enjoyed writing this one and I think i might write a part two

You’re starting to regret agreeing to come. Lily, the sweet girl you met in an art class, had invited you out for drinks with her friends. She swore they were all lovely and that you’d fit in just fine, but the doubts are creeping in. You’re already late because of the bus, and being around new people has never been your strong suit. You try to remind yourself that the whole point of joining the art class was to make friends—backing out now would be stupid.

By the time the pub door comes into view, your hands are shaking. You’re certain you’ll need at least a week to recover from this, but despite it all, you keep pushing forward, determined not to fuck up your one chance.

Before you can even take in the atmosphere, you hear your name shouted across the room. It’s Lily, that lovely redhead you’ve been hoping would be your friend. She waves energetically, and you make your way over to her. The moment you make it over, she wraps you up in a big hug. Her warmth is a stark contrast to the cool night air outside.

"I’m so glad you came!" she nearly shouts in your ear, pulling away just enough to beam at you as if you’ve given her the greatest gift.

“Me too,” you murmur, offering a shy, nervous smile. “You okay?”

“I’m great!” she exclaims, spinning toward the group in a cramped booth. “Everyone, this is Y/N, the friend I told you about.” There’s a chorus of hellos, waves, and friendly smiles.

“You remember James, right?” she asks, pointing to a curly-haired man with glasses. You do remember him. He’s the guy who picks up Lily from art class sometimes. Always nice enough to offer you a lift, but you’ve never taken him up on it. You’ve never met a couple quite as sickly sweet as Lily and James, and you can’t help but feel a little envious of how perfectly they fit together.

You nod and give him a small smile, which he returns.

Lily guides you to the edge of the booth, and the man next to you shuffles over to make room. “Thanks,” you mutter, sitting down.

Lily continues the introductions, her enthusiasm contagious as she goes around the table, pointing to each person in turn. When she gets to the two seated on your left, her grin widens mischievously.

"And this is Remus and Sirius. Don’t listen to a word Sirius says.” She says this with such affection that you can't help but be intrigued. You look up at them, and your breath catches in your throat. They’re both strikingly handsome in different ways. Remus has that soft, almost ethereal quality, like the first light of dawn. Sirius, on the other hand, is all sharp angles and devastating beauty, the kind that could stop anyone in their tracks.

You can’t help but feel like you’re staring a little too long, and you quickly look away, hoping they didn’t notice the awe you felt.

Sirius, however, seems to have noticed. "Charming, Red," he says, making a face at Lily before turning to you with a roguish smile. "Nice to meet you, gorgeous." He winks, and you flush, unsure whether to laugh or run.

Remus rolls his eyes in mock exasperation, though there's a soft fondness in his gaze as he turns to you. “Please, ignore him. Nothing good ever comes from indulging him.”

You giggle, feeling a little more at ease. “It’s nice to meet you both,” you say with a smile. “I’ll try my best.”

Sirius grins like he’s won some kind of victory despite the fact youve just said you'll try to ignore him, his dark eyes gleaming with mischief. "You’ll fit right in, I’m sure," he says, taking a long swig from his pint. 

"Stop being a menace," Lily scolds, but her smile softens the words.

As the conversation flows around you, you begin to relax just a little. It’s easy to get caught up in the energy of the group. You find yourself laughing along, the tension in your chest easing with every passing minute.

But then, Remus leans in—just a little too close—ensuring you hear him clearly. You can’t help but feel a flutter of uncertainty with him suddenly so near, unsure how to react to the closeness.

"So, what do you do?" he asks, his expression soft with genuine curiosity.

“Oh, I work in a bookshop,” you reply, a small smile tugging at your lips. “It’s not exactly my dream job, though…” You drop your gaze, feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of his attention, avoiding the need to meet his eyes.

But Remus is persistent. He lowers his head, positioning himself so his gaze stays locked with yours. It’s impossible to look away now.

“What is it that you want to do?” he asks, his voice gentle.

“I’m not… I’m not sure yet, honestly. Still figuring it out,” you admit, shrugging as if to brush off the weight of uncertainty.

Remus mirrors your shrug, as if it’s second nature, and smiles reassuringly. “That’s okay. You’ll figure it out, smart girl.”

His words settle in your chest, a small but comforting warmth. You can’t help but smile back, grateful for his kindness.

Before you can respond, Sirius leans in, clearly unimpressed. “Stop hogging all her attention, Moony,” he says with a teasing grin. “There are other people here.”

“Leave him alone, Pads,” James adds with a playful wink. “I don’t know how you put up with him, Rem. Some bloody boyfriend.”

You're caught off guard, the teasing comment leaving you speechless. Hadn’t they both been flirting with you the entire time? You glance at Remus, your mind racing, before giving him a tentative smile.

“I didn’t realize you two were together,” you murmur, your voice too soft to carry over the buzz of the room. “You seem like a good match, though.”

Although you speak to Remus, it’s Sirius who answers, his grin wide and playful. “I’m glad you think so, gorgeous.”

The rest of the night passes in a blur of light-hearted conversation, the occasional laugh from you blending into the friendly banter at the table. It feels good to be surrounded by such warm company, and you do your best to push any lingering thoughts about Remus or Sirius to the back of your mind.

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It’s a few days before you hear from Lily again. You usually only speak through text, so when you see her calling, a wave of panic washes over you. You brace yourself for the dreaded conversation, certain that she’s about to tell you her friends think you're too quiet or strange.

But when you answer, it’s not at all what you expected. “Everyone’s been asking me to invite you again,” Lily says, her voice light and reassuring. “So, I just wanted to check in—did you enjoy yourself?”

Relief floods through you. You shouldn’t be surprised by her thoughtfulness; Lily’s always been considerate of your shy nature since the moment you met. “I had a lovely time, don’t worry,” you reply, smiling even though she can’t see it. “Thank you for inviting me.”

There’s a brief pause on the other end of the line before she speaks again, her tone slightly more hesitant. “There’s something else too… Remus and Sirius asked for your number. I told them I’d ask if you were okay with it.”

The unexpected request catches you off guard. “Oh…” You don’t know how to process it at first, your thoughts swirling.

Lily senses your hesitation and quickly reassures you, “They won’t hold a grudge if you’d rather not give it to them. It’s completely up to you.”

You take a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “No… no, it’s fine. You can give it to them. That’s alright.”

“Okay, I'll pass it along then.” you can hear the smile in her voice. “We’re all planning on going to the beach on saturday, i’d like it if you’d come?” and god is it hard to say no to Lily, so you agree right away.

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You're unsure of the hasty acceptance of her invite now, analysing the way your body looks in the one-piece swimming costume and denim shorts, laid out on the beach while everyone else is swimming. You’ve been trying to read, but you’ve been stuck on the same page for the last half hour, your eyes constantly drifting toward Remus and Sirius. Even worse, they seem to notice, locking eyes with you every time. It makes you want to sink into the sand and disappear.

Footsteps draw closer, pulling your attention up again, only to be met with the sight of Sirius, freshly emerged from the water, droplets still glistening on his skin. Your cheeks burn.

“You look lovely, doll.” He says softly, almost as though he’s trying not to disturb something fragile.

“Thank you,” you reply, your voice betraying a hint of insecurity. It feels like you’ve been caught in some strange game all day, a competition between them, each trying to outdo the other with compliments and small gestures. It’s overwhelming, but also, rather sweet.

“But I’m sure you hear that all the time, pretty thing.” You expect to see a mischievous smirk, but instead, he’s looking into the distance, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, completely unaware of the weight of his words. “Why aren’t you coming into the water with us?”

“I don’t really… like swimming?” you say, the words tentative, as if afraid they might disappoint him.

“That’s alright,” he replies, his voice soft and reassuring. “I’ll keep you company.” With that, he stretches out beside you, lying down just a bit too close, his hand brushing against the side of your thigh.

Your heart skips a beat at the proximity, and for a moment, you wonder if the warmth you feel on your skin is coming from the sun or from him. You try to focus on the book in your lap, but the words blur before your eyes. It’s difficult to concentrate when your thoughts are racing, and the rhythm of Sirius’s voice still lingers in your mind.

You glance over at him, catching the way his chest rises and falls with each breath. There’s something disarming about the way he makes himself so present, without any sign of expectation, just simply existing beside you.

Before you can muster another word, another figure approaches—this time, it's Remus. You don’t realize how tense you’ve become until you feel his presence like a shift in the air. He’s still wet from the water, though his movements are quieter, more deliberate. When his gaze finds yours, it's different from the teasing look you’ve gotten from Sirius. There’s something warmer in it.

“Mind if I join you two?” Remus asks, a slight grin playing at his lips. It’s playful, but his eyes are soft, almost knowing.

Sirius shifts, giving Remus a nod of acknowledgment, though his body remains close to yours.

“Sure, handsome,” Sirius says, turning his head to give Remus an easygoing smile. “The more the merrier.”

“What about you, dove?” 

“What about me?”

“Are you okay with us both interrupting you?” 

“Oh, yeah of course” you give him a soft smile that earns you a beaming one in return. 

“I was just telling her how pretty she looks, Rem,” Sirius adds with a sly grin, completely unbothered by his own flirting. You however, very bothered, pitch forward and put your head in your hands, embarrassed. 

Both of them laugh at your flustered reaction, amused by how easily you become shy. Once you sit up and finally meet their gazes, the words tumble out without thinking.

“You both look very pretty…” you hesitate, panic creeping in, “or handsome, whatever… you prefer.”

Sirius leans in slightly, his voice low and teasing. “I think ‘pretty’ suits us just fine, don’t you, Remus?”

Remus chuckles, his eyes dancing with amusement. “Absolutely,” he agrees, his tone light.

You feel the heat of your embarrassment creeping back, but there's something strangely comforting about the way they’re both so at ease with you. The tension in your chest seems to dissipate a little as you realize that, despite the teasing, they’re not mocking you—they’re enjoying the moment with you, in their own playful way.

Sirius shifts again, this time sitting up to stretch his legs out. His proximity doesn’t change, though, and you notice how his hand subtly finds its way to rest beside you on the towel, fingertips brushing against yours. It’s a small gesture, but it sends a shock of warmth straight to your core. You glance at him quickly, wondering if he meant to or not. But when his eyes meet yours, there’s a softness there, an openness that catches you off guard.

“I meant it, you know,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost serious. “You really do look beautiful.” There’s no teasing in his tone, only sincerity.

You blink, unsure of how to respond. The words feel like they’re hanging in the air between you two, heavy and vulnerable.

Remus leans forward, “It’s okay, you know,” he adds, a little more serious than before, though his smile is still gentle. “We don’t bite. Just… relax.” He says it in such a soft way that you can’t help but nod, feeling a strange sense of safety in his words. He gives a reassuring pat to your knee but his hand seems to linger for longer than necessary.

It's starting to become impossible not to feel at ease with the two of them, lingering touches passing between the three of you all afternoon. 

As the sun dips below the horizon, everyone climbs back into the cars they arrived in, and you spend most of the drive lost in a daze, staring out the window from the back seat. Remus is driving, his hand resting comfortably on Sirius' thigh. The atmosphere is calm, peaceful. Before you even realize it, the car is slowing to a stop outside your flat.

“Do you… do you want to come up for a cup of tea?” you ask, hesitant but not wanting the evening to end.

“If you’re sure, then we will,” Remus replies, his tone cautious, as if unsure of whether he's overstepping.

You nod eagerly, flashing a smile, and just like that, you're inside your kitchen, preparing cups of tea for the two men lounging in your living room. From the doorway, you can just barely make out hushed, frantic whispers. Although you can’t make out the words, the uneasy energy is enough to make a knot tighten in your stomach.

As you step into the room, mugs in hand, the whispering falls silent. The stillness only deepens the nervous flutter in your chest.

“Thank you, Poppet,” Sirius says with a grin, taking a sip of his tea.

Before you can sit down, Remus calls your name softly.

“Yeah?” you answer, your voice betraying the rapid beat of your heart as you turn to look at him.

“We wanted to ask you something, if that’s okay?” Remus says, his gaze gentle but serious.

You nod, your curiosity piqued, silently urging him to continue.

“Listen, we know this is a little… unconventional,” he starts, his words careful, “but we think you're lovely—”

“And gorgeous!” Sirius interrupts, his tone exuberant.

Remus gives him a pointed look before turning back to you. “Yes… and we were wondering if you’d want to—” He pauses, clearly choosing his words carefully, but Sirius can't wait any longer.

“Christ… Lovely girl, will you go out on a date with us?” Sirius blurts out, his voice both impatient and hopeful.

Your jaw drops in stunned silence.

The room seems to freeze for a moment, your heart hammering in your chest as you process Sirius’s words. It’s like you’ve stepped outside of your body, watching from a distance as your mind scrambles to make sense of what’s just happened.

You glance at Remus, searching his face for any sign of insincerity, but all you see is soft curiosity mixed with a hint of nervousness—just like you feel. You turn to Sirius, who is practically vibrating with anticipation, his eyes wide and hopeful. It’s almost as if he's holding his breath, waiting for your response.

"I... I didn’t expect that," you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper. The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them, and you instantly feel the flush creeping up your neck.

Sirius laughs, a deep, rich sound that echoes in the quiet room. "Sorry, I know we’re kind of springing this on you. We just… we think you’re amazing,"

There’s an undeniable sincerity in his voice now, the playful teasing from earlier gone. Remus, too, is watching you carefully, his expression unreadable for a moment before he speaks softly.

"Take your time, okay?" he says, his voice low and reassuring. "We just wanted to know how you felt, no pressure."

You open your mouth, then close it again, unsure what to say. A thousand thoughts race through your mind—about the feelings you've started to develop for both of them, about the confusion, the surprise, the fact that both of them seem so genuinely interested in you.

It’s overwhelming, but not in a bad way. It's just... unexpected. You think about Remus’s quiet intensity, the way he listens to you with such care. But then Sirius, with his bold, teasing nature, somehow managed to worm his way under your skin, too, making you feel special in a way you never thought you deserved.

“Are you… are you sure?” you finally ask, feeling vulnerable but needing to know the truth. 

At that, Remus rises and walks toward you, moving with quiet confidence. When he stops in front of you, he raises his hand, palm open, as if asking for permission. You remain still, and his hand gently lands on your shoulder, fingers trailing up your neck until they cup your cheek.

“Absolutely,” he says, his voice firm yet tender, no hesitation to be found. His touch grounds you, the certainty in his words a balm to the fluttering nerves inside you.

You glance between them again, searching their faces, before your lips curve upward. “Then yes, I would love to,” you reply, a blush creeping across your cheeks.

Before you can even fully absorb your own answer, Sirius’s hand is in yours, his touch warm and eager, as if he can’t bear not touching you now.

Sirius grins widely, his eyes gleaming with excitement, and before you can blink, he's stepping closer. His thumb brushes against your skin, and it sends a spark straight through your chest.

"I’m glad," he says softly, voice a little huskier than before. There’s an intensity to him now, something beyond the teasing bravado. It makes your heart skip a beat.

Remus, who had been quietly watching the exchange, takes a small step toward you as well. The warmth of his presence, both of their presence,  sends a calming wave through you. He’s not as brash as Sirius, but there’s something incredibly reassuring in the way he stands close, his gaze steady and gentle.

“You’re sure?” he asks, his voice a soft murmur, eyes searching yours with such care. His hand, still resting on your cheek, grounding you.

You nod, feeling your nerves slowly fade under their attention. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

It’s as if the world tilts slightly, shifting into something new, something full of promise. The uncertainty in your chest dissolves as the two men stand in front of you, their warmth, their sincerity, and their shared attention making you feel like you’re exactly where you need to be.

Sirius leans in first, his lips brushing against your forehead in a soft, fleeting kiss, the gesture as tender as it is electrifying. It catches you off guard, leaving your skin tingling in the best way. When he pulls back, his eyes meet yours, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

"Don't worry, doll," he whispers, his voice light but full of affection

You barely have time to process the warmth of his words before Remus steps forward, his gaze unwavering as he looks down at you. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, his voice so quiet, so sincere, that it sends a shiver down your spine.

The question takes your breath away. You can’t help but nod, your heart hammering in your chest.

Remus’s smile is soft, almost shy, as he leans in slowly, giving you ample time to pull away if you wanted. But you don’t. You want this—want him—so badly that the moment his lips meet yours, you melt into him. The kiss is gentle at first, a whisper of sensation, but it deepens as his hand shifts to cup the back of your head, pulling you closer.

The world seems to disappear, leaving only the feel of his lips against yours and the rush of emotions that swirl in your chest. When he finally pulls back, both of you are breathless, eyes locked.

“You’re perfect,” he murmurs, his voice soft as he presses his forehead against yours.

Before you can respond, you feel Sirius’s presence behind you again, his hand brushing against your back, warm and steady. He leans down, his lips catching yours in a kiss that’s more eager than the first, but just as careful. It’s a different kind of warmth—intense, full of promise—and when he pulls back, there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You can hardly catch your breath, both Remus and Sirius’s touches lingering like a slow-burning fire against your skin. The kisses, tender yet fervent, have left you dizzy and wide-eyed, unsure of how to process everything that’s just happened. But even in the overwhelming haze of emotions, you feel something undeniably special, something that’s hard to name but impossible to ignore.

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let me know what you think of this! <3 i appreciate all feedback

[princesskaulitz]

New Boy (Part Four)

✮ bill is the cute new boy at your school and is being a big help in you finding self love

✮ 2008 bill kaulitz, fem! reader, there's a tiny bit of smut! in this part. TW?: super toxic friends, mentions of low self esteem.

✮A/N: LAST PART GUYS! it makes me so happy to see much yall enjoyed this story. here are the links to the first 3 parts for those who haven't seen them yet.

part one | part two | part three

( video from testiclehunter69 on tiktok )

you were doing so well.

a good day. a good laugh. a cute moment.

but of course, melina had to ruin it.

she couldn’t let you have peace for even one day.

and now everyone’s whispering about something you didn’t even do.

you clench your fists.

if they want drama, maybe it’s time they get it.

you can’t think.

your blood is pounding so loud in your ears it drowns out the murmurs, the giggles, even bill’s voice trying to call your name.

and then—

someone walks past, holding a glass of soda, laughing at something you know is about you.

without even thinking, you reach out. you grab the glass right from their hand and start moving. fast.

heads turn. conversations stop.

your shoes slap the floor like gunshots in the silence.

melina doesn’t flinch.

she sees you coming, arms folded, lips curled in the tiniest smirk. like she’s been waiting.

you don’t care. your grip tightens on the glass.

but right before you reach her, she leans in and says softly,

“are you sure you want to do that?”

her tone is sickly sweet. like syrup over venom.

“get sent home early? get expelled from our school? all over a rumor that, let’s be real, kind of sounds true anyway? i mean why did you have both the twins in your room anyways?”

your body locks up.

your hand trembles around the glass. your knuckles are white.

you stare at her. she doesn’t blink.

for a second, you want to do it anyway. let it shatter against her smug little face.

but you don’t.

instead, you toss the glass into a nearby trash bin so hard it clinks loudly against the metal sides.

“psycho” melina comments.

then you storm out. you don’t care who watches. you don’t care who whispers. you just need air.

you storm outside, the night air hitting your face like a slap. you start pacing, fists clenched, your chest tight with fury. you were so angry you could cry.

you wanted to scream. break something. tear melina apart with your bare hands.

your appetite was gone, replaced by a gnawing heat in your throat.

“y/n.”

the sound of your name cuts through the noise in your head.

you whip around to see bill standing there.

“i hate her,” you hiss. “i fucking hate her.”

your voice cracks with the weight of it all. “she’s vile. she’s always been vile and manipulative and now she’s got the whole school looking at me like—like i’m some kind of easy slut.”

you start pacing again, your breaths short. “and the worst part is that it’s not even true, and it doesn’t matter because no one cares about the truth! they just eat it up!”

bill lets you vent, lets the fire burn through your words. but when you pause, he speaks, calm but solid.

“well yeah it’s not true,” he says. “i know that. tom knows that. you know that.” he steps closer. “anyone who actually matters knows it.”

you open your mouth to argue, to say that’s not the point, but he keeps going.

“you think people who believe melina over you are worth your time? they’re not. they never were.” his voice is steady, but there’s a quiet force behind it. “you don’t have to waste your energy on proving yourself to people who already made up their minds.”

you look at him, your anger softening just slightly under his gaze.

“she’s not going to win,” he says. “not if you stop letting her get under your skin.”

you swallow hard, your lip trembling. “but it feels like she already did.”

“then take the win back.” his voice is lower now, more personal. “by not letting her change who you are.”

your expression is unreadable, eyes locked on some distant point. “bold of her to pull something like that when i know some of the sluttiest shit she’s ever done,” you mutter, voice low and bitter.

bill’s jaw tightens. “yeah, but that doesn’t matter—because you’re not going to tell anyone.”

he pauses when you don’t respond, watching the way your eyes avoid his. “…right?”

still nothing. you won’t look at him.

bill steps forward and gently grabs your jaw, tilting your face toward his. “right, y/n?”

you pull your head back. “why not? why should i be the better person?” your voice is sharp, almost breaking. “she ruins people for fun. i’m so tired of people like her doing the things they do and getting away with it! aren’t you too?! maybe this time, someone should ruin her.”

“don’t do this,” bill says, voice firm. “not after you finally took your power back. did you hear anything i just said?” he steps closer, brow drawn. “you’re not her. you’re not on her level. this is exactly what she wants—to get under your skin, to piss you off, to make you want revenge. she wants to prove she still has control over you and your emotions. that she can drag you down with her.”

you look at him, your brow furrowing, still unreadable.

“oh, come on,” you snap, “look at tom. he pulls revenge crap all the time and you think it’s hilarious. you’re being a hypocrite.”

bill’s expression shifts, irritation flashing in his eyes—but there’s something deeper under it. “who says i don’t regret that? that this situation isn’t a mirror to me?” he shoots back. “you think i’m proud of the stuff we’ve done? maybe that’s exactly why i’m saying this now—because i know what it feels like to let someone twist you into something you’re not.”

you sigh—not out of annoyance, but like it’s the only thing keeping your chest from caving in.

bill’s tone softens, just slightly. “but this isn’t about tom. or me. it’s your choice now.” he looks at you, steady and honest. “you’re standing at a crossroads, y/n. and yeah, you are better than her, you’re a better person than her and that’s all you need… not revenge, not to stoop down like that. but if you stop believing that—if you do stoop to her level—you become her.”

he pauses for a beat before the final words come out, quieter than before. “..i can’t be friends with someone like that. i’ve lived that story already, those people have already hurt me, made me act like them. i left that part of my life behind for a reason. and if you go down that road… i’ll leave you behind too.”

you stare at him, his words echoing louder than the voices in your own head.

your lips part slightly, but nothing comes out. your heart is racing, not just from anger anymore—but from the weight of what he just said. from the fact that he means it.

you blink a few times, and when you finally speak, your voice is smaller than you expected. “you’d really walk away from me?”

bill doesn’t flinch. “if you stopped being you? yeah.”

there’s a beat of silence, a bitter one.

you cross your arms, trying to hold yourself together even though your insides feel like they’re unraveling.

“it’s just…” you start, your voice cracking for a second. “i didn’t ask for any of this. i didn’t do anything. all i did was stand up to her. i was just trying to enjoy this trip for once and then she—”

you stop yourself, jaw clenching.

bill steps a little closer, softer now.

“i know. and i’m not saying don’t feel hurt. or pissed. i know it’s hard not to want to gouge her eyes out, believe me i know… just don’t let her turn you into someone she’d be proud of.”

your eyes drop to the ground. your fists unclench.

a breeze moves past you both, but it’s the tension breaking that really makes you shiver.

“…fine,” you say after a long pause, swallowing hard. “i won’t say anything.”

he nods once, like he knew you’d get there, but he still watches you carefully.

“good,” he murmurs. “because the real you? the one who cares too much and overthinks everything and has a way of making people feel like they’re not alone—that’s the version of you that deserves to win.”

you glance up at him, your eyes searching his like maybe for once, you’re starting to believe that too.

you’re quiet for a long moment, staring off at nothing, your arms still crossed tightly over your chest like you’re holding yourself together.

bill lets out a breath, his expression softening. “come on,” he says gently. “let’s just go back to the hotel.”

you blink at him, surprised by the calm in his voice. he nods toward the path.

“we’ll order food or something. doesn’t have to be a big deal. just you and me. no drama. no melina. just... peace.”

you swallow hard, the lump in your throat finally starting to ease. the idea of quiet, of not having to keep your guard up for a few hours, is almost too tempting.

“okay,” you say quietly, the fight finally draining from your voice.

he gives you the tiniest smirk.

you’re smiling now. just barely.

he starts walking, hands in his pockets, waiting for you to catch up.

and you do.

the hotel room feels quieter than it did earlier. the lights are dim, the window slightly cracked open to let in the cool night air. the tv plays something low and forgettable in the background, more of a comfort noise than anything you’re actually watching.

you and bill sit on opposite ends of the bed, sharing some room service fries from a paper container. he has his comfier clothes on now.

you’re not really talking, but the silence feels safe this time. easy.

“this is nice,” you murmur, almost without meaning to.

he glances over, lips curving. “told you.”

you nod slowly. “thanks… for earlier.”

bill leans back against the headboard, propping a pillow behind him. “i meant it, y’know. i wouldn’t stick around for someone who reminded me of my past.”

you glance at him, heartbeat a little louder. “so what do i remind you of, then?”

his gaze lingers on you, longer than it should, something unspoken passing between you.

“something better,” he says quietly.

your heart skips. you glance away, cheeks warming under the weight of his stare.

neither of you moves at first. it’s almost like the moment is holding its breath.

then somehow—whether it’s you or him, you don’t even know—you find yourselves closer, the space between you shrinking without a word. the tension hums low and steady, not sharp, not rushed… just waiting. he watches you like he’s giving you a chance to pull away. but you don’t.

he lifts a hand, brushing his thumb along the curve of your jaw so softly it sends a shiver down your spine. and when he finally kisses you, it’s slow. like he’s memorizing you. the second kiss is deeper. hungrier. like this is the only thing that’s been on his mind.

your hand finds his shirt, gripping it gently as you shift onto your knees, kissing him back harder now. he lets out a soft sound against your lips, one that makes your stomach flip, and he pulls you fully into his lap.

things escalate naturally. his touch grows more intentional, your body molding to his, kisses breaking only for air and the occasional whisper of each other’s names.

the world outside fades—melina, the whispers, the rumors. it’s just this. just him. just you and the bulge you can feel growing against you through his pants that makes you start to feel a bit nervous.

you didn’t even realize it but you started to grind against him, stopping yourself once you became self aware.

he lets out a low, frustrated groan, the sound vibrating deep in his chest, like he’s annoyed at the sudden loss of you. his hands tighten on your hips, fingers digging in just enough to make you gasp, guiding you to move against him again.

he pulls back from your kiss, his breath brushing against your lips, his mouth already a little swollen from how hard you’d been kissing. his eyes flicker over your face, dark and heavy with want, the kind of look that sends shivers down your spine and makes your whole body heat up — the kind that says there’s no going back now.

“oh God…” you breathe, the words barely a whisper as you find yourself locked in his gaze, unable to look away, like he’s got you under some kind of spell.

he nudges you down with the press of his body, a quiet command in the way his hands guide your hips, your back meeting the bed with a soft thud, his lips never far from yours.

he leans down, capturing your mouth in another kiss—deeper this time, hungrier, stealing the breath straight from your lungs. but even with the heat building between you, there’s a steadiness to him, like he’s determined to savor every second, to make you feel every slow, deliberate moment he gives you.

his hand trails down your waist to your thigh, rubbing the soft flesh before squeezing it gently, then you feel it trail back up, but into your skirt, finding your panties and tracing them gently, sending all kinds of butterflies fluttering through your stomach.

he guides a finger down your center through the silky fabric, making you gasp and tense up, grabbing his wrist on instinct– it was obvious to him now that you’ve probably never done anything like this before.

you immediately blush and let go of his wrist, hoping you didn’t just ruin the moment.

he doesn’t judge, just breathes out a quiet chuckle. “you’re a virgin aren’t you?”

“yes.” you answer, your voice small and bashful.

“mmm… are you sure you’re ready?” he asks, not wanting to delve into anything that you’re not too sure about yet.

“i am,” you blurt out, a little too quickly. your cheeks warm as you repeat, softer this time, “i am…”

he smiles. “you’re going to have to relax then,” he says in that sweet soft voice of his, gently pulling your underwear down your legs, “don’t be so tense.”

his mouth finds its way between your thighs, like he already knows the perfect way to coax you into this new kind of pleasure.

the moment you feel his tongue, your back arches instinctively, a sharp gasp escaping you before it melts into a high, breathy moan, your fingers tangle tightly in his hair, anchoring yourself to him.

the rest of the night felt like something out of a dream—by far the best night of your life. bill was so careful with you, so deliberate with every touch, every kiss, like he was memorizing you, savoring every second. he moved slowly, attentively, as if you were something precious, something he didn't dare to rush.

he made you feel things you hadn’t even known were possible—pleasure so intense it left you breathless, emotions so overwhelming they left your heart aching in the best way. it wasn’t just the physical part, though that alone had your head spinning—it was the way he looked at you, the way he touched you like you were the only thing that mattered.

and you knew, without a doubt, that you wouldn’t have wanted your first time to be with anyone else. it was him. it had always been him and you didn’t even know.

the next morning, you and bill barely made it to the buses heading back to town. after everything that had happened between you the night before — all the whispered confessions, the tangled sheets, the slow burning love making — setting an alarm clock had been the last thing on either of your minds.

you grabbed whatever clothes you could find — mostly his — and shoved your things into your bags in a frantic, clumsy rush, both of you laughing sleepily as you stumbled down to the lobby.

as the teachers did head counts, you could feel the familiar sensation of eyes on you, the low hum of whispered rumors still clinging to the air.

but this time, it didn’t sink its claws into you.

this time, it didn't matter.

you stood a little taller, shoulders looser, an invisible armor around you. they could say what they wanted. you knew the truth — melina was the real loser, a girl so hollow she had to carve into other people just to feel something. and the ones still whispering, still pointing — they were sad too, wasting their breath and their lives on someone else's story instead of living their own.

for the first time in a long time, you felt free.

you were finally finding yourself — someone with a good heart, a sharp mind, someone who didn't need anyone’s permission to exist. someone who didn't need validation to breathe.

and sure, you still had growing to do, still had pieces of yourself to uncover — but the best part?

you weren't doing it alone.

you had someone beside you now, someone who looked at you like you were made of stars, someone who reminded you — even in a weak moment where you almost fall — that you were already enough.

and the fact that he was drop-dead gorgeous?

well… that didn’t hurt either.

you loaded onto the bus, settling into a seat next to bill, lazily scribbling sweet nothings into the notebook he had lended you, for him to see later. it felt peaceful, easy — like the world had finally stopped spinning so fast.

you were mid-doodle when you caught something out of the corner of your eye — a large fountain drink flying across the aisle, soaring through the air like it had a mission.

it landed squarely in melina’s lap.

bright red kool-aid exploded across her pure white sundress.

the bus fell into a stunned silence — just for a second — before melina’s furious shriek split the air.

“TOM KAULITZ!”

you glanced up at bill, who was already looking at you, both of you trying (and failing) to stifle your laughter as the bus erupted into chaos.

tom, slouched a few rows ahead, wore the world’s most shameless grin.

you shook your head fondly.

he still had a lot of growing up to do...

THE END

(lmao imagine if tom and melina ended up together in the future 💀 sequel coming soon???)

tags: @billsbabydollie @lulusafreak @tokiohotelsbabydoll @monasreligion @ocean-mochi @shinyrhinestones

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

I am very intrigued to hear your expanded thots on sub!joe and pegging! I think it adds an extra layer of vulnerability to their relationship that is super interesting. Plus as long as you don’t include it in one of the main fics, people can choose to read it as a part of that universe or not 😊

sub!joe brain dump (NSFW edition)

I'm glad others want to hear about this because!!! It's been bouncing around in my brain for weeks now!

Note: There's more discussion about how the dom/sub dynamics are started, feelings, and relationship in this too.

CW: BDSM dynamics (heavily described, D/S dynamics, swinging), 18+ content (pegging described)

want to read other sub!joe? you're in luck (please note: main fics do not have all these dynamics; this an expansion of the entire universe)

sub!joe masterlist | joe burrow masterlist | main masterlist

________________________________

It always starts with consent. And anything new is always discussed outside of sex. Always, always, always, always. It's non negotiable. I know I haven't talked about it a lot in the fics. But there's a ton more that's happening behind the scenes. Between their escapades, there's a lot of conversations about boundaries, wants, if anything's changed. Safe, sane, and consensual. Pillars that the two of them live so deeply by. 

When these dynamics first started cropping up, Domme sat Joe down. She has experience prior to Joe about it, mentioned to Joe in broad strokes she was previously apart of 'the scene'. Joe took it in stride that it was her history. It intrigued him a little, and he asked all his questions but doesn't delve into specifics. Domme never forced it into their relationship either, didn’t cram it in at every turn. Just mentioned it once, let Joe ask his questions and then let it go. 

But the signs feel so obvious to her. They keep cropping up, how he reaches for her in a crowded room. Sighs into her when they’re alone. Jokes about wishing he could just his brain off. So, Domme makes it a conversation. She only intends to bring it up one more time, and again, let Joe decide if he wants to press it further. She brings the conversation to his attention with a soft and sweet, “Hey, I'm noticing similar things in you and our relationship that I’ve seen in prior dynamics and I want to make sure that a) you like it and b) to discuss if you want to make it a more solid and integrated part of our relationship?”

Of course Joe asks what she means, so she lays it--all facts, all, “I’ve noticed..” or “It appears..” so there’s room for her to be corrected. Which Joe doesn't. Because everything she lays out is true, is what it seems like.

Or so Joe thinks until he asks, “What does it remind you of?”

“Dominant and submissive roles and dynamics--that’s what it reminds me of.”

“And I’m the--” He can’t say it. 

“Well, you’re Joe. But if we map your behaviors onto that framework, the behaviors look like those of a submissive.”

It’s careful. Joe notices that much. She doesn’t call him a sub. Just talk about the behaviors. But he’s taking the leaps. He’s seeing where the conclusions, and summations will all lead. Joe hesitates, hadn't really considered himself a sub or anything. He wasn't oozing a super domineering personality but he took care of shit. He handled shit as it came up, when it needed to be handled. Like he was supposed to do. How could he be a sub when he's literally a leader? It's not like he lets Domme do everything. 

But she's, again, so fucking smooth and soft with it, "Think about it like this. When it's the two of us together, you seem to relax a bit more. You let me do more things for you than you let others do for you. Do you like it when I step up for you in specific situations?" 

“Yes.” Because it makes him feel cared for. Which is easy to answer, to admit too.

“Do you like it when I praise you? When I take a bit more of the control? Not all, but when you get to pass some of the weight over to me, what do you feel?”

“Relieved.” It’s like Joe can breathe easier. “But you feel the same right? When I help you out?”

“Yes,” she nods. “But I like shouldering that weight. I take orders all day at work. I like giving them sometimes.”

Joe is exhausted by them. He makes decisions all the time that by the end of the day he’s sick of it. “So you’re not annoyed when I call you asking for help on what to ask my chef for the week?”

“Never,” she grins. “It makes me feel needed. Like, if intimacy could go into a gas tank and is added into and taken out of. You relying on me in those ways fills my intimacy tank--to make tiny decisions when you don’t want to or are too exhausted too. Or when you say you just need to hear my voice or want me to give you the least amount of choices possible makes my whole body flutter.”

He nods, chewing at the inside of his cheek. He knows the feeling when she just steps up, when she’s just there for him--solid, unwavering, unflinching at even his silliest and tiniest of needs. “And me passing some of the smaller things onto you fills mine using that logic.”

The more Joe chews on it, the more he realizes, yeah no, he really likes it when she takes care of things for him. When she's with him at events, and she just gets it when his battery dies or when she helps navigate a conversation Joe feels himself slipping in, or when they're out shopping together and she rolls her shoulders back and strides with every step, confident and sure of herself in ways that Joe is confident, but that's full of practice and a quiet kind of internal pep talk. Joe's fought to be confident and she just is. So it starts slowly, the two of them easing into this dynamic.

The dom/sub came up near the year mark and they've been together a while now, since late, late 2021/early 2022.

Domme sits Joe down to do a 'Will Do, Won't Do, Want to Try' list after their initial conversation. She hands him a sheet of paper, walks him through folding it into thirds and then has him label each column as one of the following: Will Do, Won't Do, Want to Try. Explains that the idea is that Joe writes down what he's willing to do (inside the bedroom and inside their dynamic), what he won't do at all (hard limits), and stuff he's willing to try or maybe he's a little unsure about. 

"Think of it like a stop light. Will Do is green, you're all for it. Yellow is the stuff you want to try that we'll talk through and about, make sure there's rules in place. Won't do are red lights. Hard limits, no goes, no matter what." 

It seems simple enough. They work in separate rooms for a little bit but then Joe misses her and creeps out his office and kisses all over her face so it gets tabled for the day. But for the better half a week, it's swirling in the back of Joe's mind. It’s intriguing to take the plunge into all his fantasies. 

They finish their lists and then comes the hard part where they have to talk it through. He sets the page down, a few lines crossed out and then nearly bolts. 

But Domme coaxes him in, her voice soft and smooth, and silky, makes him feel safe when she says, "So, we can start easy. You tell me when you're most excited about from your lists." She doesn't read it, just trusts him enough to know he'll share it truthfully. Joe melts into the couch cushions right there, thinking to himself, I'll do whatever she'd fucking ask just as long as she keeps talking to me like that.

Joe's hard limits are like no visible bruises, no excessive pain (because he is a professional athlete so he needs to be able to discern a sting from something more worrisome), no tight bondage, and nothing that could cause severe harm--it's all reasonable. And Domme helps him sort of categorize and clarify as needed. But she distinctly notes there's nothing on his list about anything penetrative on his end. Like he couldn't fathom it all.

They establish safe words. His is turquoise. Hers is dragonfly. Joe's practiced in his head, Too much--use turquoise. It's the phrase Domme used with him. That if it ever became too much he could use 'turquoise'. Just over and over and over, so he makes the association. 

When they first get used to the dynamic, Joe slips and uses, "Stop." And what he was trying to say was something like, "I need to catch my breath." 

But the second the 'p' pops off his lips, Domme's pulling away from him, settles off to his side, her hands hover. "What was too much? Need space?"

It's the first time that Joe realizes just how much words matter and even though it wasn't his word, she's listening, she's paying attention to every little thing. Just like he does. So, any time Joe needs a breather, he's careful to use something like, "Need a second," Or "Can we take a time out?"

It may sound silly sometimes, but it works. It lets them both know what's needed. Wording is so incredibly important during their sexual adventures and even outside of the bedroom too. If Joe's overwhelmed in public or about something, he's a lot more mindful on how to communicate that. "Hey, can I take five?" or "I think I need just a second before we go out."

It's Domme that brings up pegging the first time. 

They check in on the Three W list (Will Do, Won't Do, Want to Try) like once a quarter, so 3/4 times a year. Joe's pretty consistent. Literally changes maybe one thing (marks are okay during the off season or asks if something they sort of rotated out to come back around [looking at you wax play]). So when Domme parts her lips and says, "I want to try pegging,’

Joe swears his eyes are going to fall out of his head. "On me? Peg me?"

She nods. He doesn't hate the idea, but it makes his stomach uneasy, "I need more time on that one. Can we loop back around to it?" Joe stews on it for two weeks. Does he want that? Would it be strange? Would it hurt? What would he do while being pegged? Would he feel different afterwards?

On a Friday afternoon, when Domme's off from work and finished her errands, and Joe's back from his meetings, Joe resurfaces the conversation with a simple, "Can we talk?" 

They talk through every minute detail. Everything. Dildo size, lubrication type, prep work, safe words, scenario (Joe has to be the one to ask for it. Even if it terrifies him, the ball has to be in his court for this)--everything, they talk about everything.

It's so strange at first, even though Joe asked for it, and Domme's being so gentle, he can't help but tense when the first wet finger traces his rim. Like is he actually about to do this? She pauses, free hand smoothing over his back, kisses up his spine. "Want me to stop or do you need a second?" 

He's usually so composed, can follow through on a decision once it's made. But this feels like it could shatter him. Could totally ruin him everything he understands about himself. "Just a second." 

Domme kisses at his back, a hum shaking at his spine. "Take all the time you need."

Eventually with a lot of encouragement, he lets her proceed and the push through the mental is the hardest part, because once she's in, the pad of her singular finger working at his prostate so gingerly, Joe's a goner. 

He pushes back into her hand and she laughs, not maliciously, a puffy satisfied sound. "Do you like that?" It echoes the question he offers all the time, usually in jest. But Domme knows the truth, that Joe loves the praise. That Joe's keening each time she tells him just how well he's doing, how good he's making her feel. To hear it back, with the delicious twist of his stomach at the careful work--Joe's literally on cloud fucking 9. 

She works slow and deliberate, eases him open with the second finger. Whispers into his skin, "Look at you. Doing so well for me. Fucking perfect. Want it that bad?" 

Joe doesn't think he can get enough, pushes and pushes and pushes back on her fingers and palm. He comes apart on her fingers, a soft and easy pull over his cock, the press of her fingers in his ass. It's messy, how hard and how violently he comes, but Joe is absolutely liquid for the rest of the night. His brain is just gone. Totally gone. Utter silence. He can barely respond to Domme. Barely hold the glass of water. 

He settles squarely onto her chest when she slips onto the bed later, tucks him up to his chest with the comforter. "Did so well for me. Took it so well. Made my misty eyed when you came, trusting me with that." Joe hears it, a smile ghosting over his face as he presses his nose into her breasts.

Joe does feel a little different. But not like he thought he would. He feels...so content. He wakes first and her fingers are still in his hair, he's proud of himself for actually going through with it. It's an instant classic. Joe still feels like Joe, like a man. He washes his face, pokes around in the kitchen, answers some emails, tries to ease her awake but she still jolt. He laughs at her huff of annoyance. "I know, I know,” he coos. “Mornings are rough. I'll sweeten the deal with a breakfast pastry." 

"Should've started with that,” she huffs. 

 It just feels right as the two of them orbit in the bedroom, getting ready. But she pauses him in the closet. "How do you feel?" 

"Good. Really good." Because that’s all there is to. She made him feel so fucking good. And that’s all that matters. 

And if Joe thinks her fingers are magical. The strap is literally god tier. 

It takes Joe a few tries to work up to the dildo. And it's just the tip, oh it's just the fucking tip and Joe's already damn near crying at how good it feels. He gets all puffy, chest heaving, begging her to keep going. "Need more, god, please." 

He loves it when she pulls at his hair, bring his head up and whisper against his shoulder, "Watch yourself." 

The mirror reflects back his own fucked out bliss--messy hair, puffy pink lips, red chest, the echoes of her kisses and bites scattered over his body. He wants to watch, wants to see her take him, claim him like this but it just feels so fucking good. Makes his brain go totally silent. He doesn't even know what's saying, if he's saying anything. Just becomes an absolute mess of himself. And she always makes sure the drop doesn't hit so hard, though it always sort of does. 

She likes to take him hard after he gets used to it. The growl of her voice into his body as her hips snap into his, bringing him under, so far under he does not remember his name. Doesn't know it by sound, only knows her voice--can't pick out words or their meaning, just knows they're taking up space, that something is happening. 

Joe is brought so utterly to feeling, that he swears he can feel the ridges in the strap, the faux veins, the divot of the tip, and he adores this space. It strips him bare. He's not the quarterback, not the head of the franchise. Joe's not a man, not a son, not a partner, not anything. He is just. He is. He's his muscles, tendons, ligaments. He is sinew. He is sweat. He is the puff. He is the labored breath. He is the begging. He is the pleading. He is the curl of his toes. He just fucking is. He exists as nothing more than the feeling of closeness between the two of them and it holds him. Fills his cup, leaves his thirst quenched. 

Then she coddles him, bring him the protein shake or water, praise him with soft whispers against his ears, play in his hair, make sure his phone is on the charger, his alarm set if he needs it, pick out his practice clothes (when needed) and Joe doesn't need to ask for her to do it because he's not going to be online enough to do it.

Joe doesn't ask to be pegged often, but when he does he asks it with a shy look on his face, like he's scared she'll say no. 

But Domme never does. Always grins up at him and nods. "I'd be happy to." And they still talk about the scene, because it keeps Joe at ease, but it leaves him with the thrill of anticipation buzzing at his skin. Makes him hot with glee for the time to come. He just feels so safe with Domme about it. She makes him feel so, so safe. 

When he brought up how he worried about what it would mean afterwards, she nodded, didn't make him feel crazy for being worried if he'd still 'feel like a man'. "Let's walk through. You do anal and then what? What do you think happens?" She didn't discount him, didn't tell him it was stupid. She just wanted to know and walked through it with him. 

"Well, I've never taken anything up the ass before, but what if it does change something? What if I realize something that wasn't there before?"

"Then you know better, baby."

 "What if I like too much?” he asks. 

"Well, then we either get hemorrhoid cream and use the strap more, or I get to introduce you to the world of threesomes." 

"Baby, I know about threesomes," Joe laughs. 

"Nah, I mean the real deal." 

He grimaces at the thought. "No, I like the idea because it's you. I don't think I want an actual dick. That just-no, hard no." 

Her grin is bright, arm sliding over his shoulder. "Then I don't think you have much to worry about, love. Sounds like you already know plenty about yourself."

Because they check in so often about the 3W list, they also use that time to check in about the relationship. They'll discuss goals they have for themselves in the relationship. 

Joe wants to be better at staying grounded and connected during the season and he has grown in that regard ,but when they're losing he tends to retreat and sometimes it leaves Domme feeling iced out. 

Domme wants to get better about not always taking over in social situations. Which is why we see in the NFL Honors blurb, she doesn't overstep, just encourages Joe. She's a social butterfly and protective over Joe. Which he appreciates when he needs it, but it's not an every time thing which can be hard for her to dial back on at times. 

They can talk about everything, "Hey, a couple weeks ago you said something and it wasn't what you said, it's how you said it. It's still bothering me. Can I talk to you about it?" 

To anyone on the outside it sounds like a work meeting, talking about KPI's or goals for the year, but for them it's just how it works. Because they're in the scene, it's super important that they do have this space to talk about their relationship, even if it can feel clinical.

What’s not clinical though is what happens behind those closed doors. That is all guttural, hot and biting. Just want they need, what they know the other loves. 

Domme, because she was in the scene first, eases Joe into it. She has a few friends still connected to the scene and knows about a rather large party happening right towards the end of the season. Asks if Joe wants to go when she finds out about it about two weeks in advance. Joe, now more comfortable with their dynamic about a year into the relationship, agrees to go. 

He’s not barred her from going previously, just asks that she abides by some ground rules: no sexual penetration, she can’t dominate anyone, but she can flirt if she wants, kissing is fine, she can sub if she wants to someone else too. So most often, Domme goes and spends her time being tied up, or goes to aide as a hostess. Helps newer couples find their footing. She still has her fun without Joe. 

However, when they finally go together, it’s a private affair. They rent a car so no one can trace their actual plates. Domme guides him around. It’s really just so Joe can see more, build his repertoire more. But he’s so fascinated with the scenes, and the rooms. No one bats an eyelash at him. No one gives a fuck about who he is. They don’t go often, a handful of times a year. But Joe brings back new things to try every time. Part of him feels like a kid in a candy store again, the unbridled kind of delight at seeing the scene in action, unfolding out in front of him in real time. Knows what people are feeling as it’s happening, a visceral kind of reaction that makes leaves goosebumps across his skin. 

Domme will settle into the main room and let Joe scamper about. She watches with pride when he comes back, a lipstick stain on his cheek and a mischievous grin on his face. “What did you see?”

“Follow me,” he returns with a hand held out. 

It’s usually always something that shocks Domme. The first few parties she brought him she stuck close by, reiterating the rules and keeping him up to date on the lingo. But later on, towards the start of their third year Joe scurried off only to drag her back to a shibari scene. “That--I want to look like that.”

He said it with so much awe, so much tenderness that it made Domme’s chest melt. He looked at it like art. Like one would look at a sculpture from years ago, taking into the details--so much awe and wonder. Domme spent weeks practicing on herself, doing research, testing the waters with Joe in non sexual scenes. Joe tries his hand at it too. Likes it when she lets him take the reigns a little bit. 

They don’t participate in the parties a ton. 

Joe’s not much of a sharer. He likes to watch, and likes to go. But again, Joe’s not great at sharing Domme. There’s a couple that Domme used to play with before Joe, the couple before she met Joe. He understands that of course others played with her before. But no one plays with her now except him. He’s Domme’s. Domme is his and he doesn’t want to share that with anyone. It is possession, but not ownership. And it’s not jealousy. She’s talked freely about how she used to play before Joe. He likes hearing about it. A couple times he’ll ask her to “turn on the charm” and that gives her permission to flirt, dazzle, lure, kiss, bite, light play.

But there’s no sex. For either one of them. Joe likes to watch her work a room, select her target and reel them in. Like watching a skilled lioness on the hunt. Lethal and charming, disarming and deadly. But there’s some pieces of her that Joe can’t let anyone else have but him. 

Domme’s willing to let Joe go a little further than he lets her take it. But Joe doesn’t do anything that she can’t do. If someone asks to give him a kiss, or something, he lets it slide. Knows how much Domme will light up at the mark. But the same rules she follows, he does too. Because that’s the most fair. Because in all honesty, that’s all he’s willing to give up, a kiss (rare-ish), a teasing wink (more common). 

Joe has a little admirer--Scarlett, a woman in her forties, he’d guess--who fawns over him. He’s happy to accept the attention because she’s nice about it. If Joe’s sticking close by Domme, she’ll ask, “Can I cut in?”

Usually, he laughs, eyes cutting to Domme, who nods at him after he nods that he wants to go. “Go,” she laughs, patting at his chest. “Have fun out there, tiger.”

Scarlett’s never offended if Joe shakes his head no. He’ll squeeze a Domme’s palm and she’ll slide in front of him just a fraction, even if she’s talking to someone else. Scarlett grins. “That’s alright. Find me when you’re ready, sweetheart.”

Sometimes Joe does loop back to find Scarlett. He’ll spot her watching him. It reminds him just a hair of Domme, the kind of magnetism they both have in their presence. Domme’s is teasing confidence. Knows how to bait. Scarlettl’s a quiet confidence, more assured. Scarlett will kiss his cheek, pull him into the couch or next to her. “She’s treating you right?”

Joe nods. “The best.”

“Good.” Scarlett plays a little with his hair, resting against him for a minute or two. “If she doesn’t treat you, you tell me. I taught her better than that.”

“I will. Need anything?”

Scarlett always laughs. “Trying to get me into trouble. I like it.” Sometimes it’s just a kiss, and it’s nice, fun, different. But there’s always a little voice in the back of Joe’s mind that’s comparing when he knows he shouldn’t. It’s not the same. Not Domme and though he likes the dabble, he never lasts away from Domme. 

Joe would seek Domme out even in the dark, pulled to her, called like sirens do to the crashed sailors. Joe doesn’t care to break the spell. Even with Scarlett in his lap, with her kissing over his neck and chest, Joe will look for Domme across the room--the prideful smile on her face makes his chest flutter. His whole body lit with fire.  

Sometimes Joe doesn’t find Scarlett again, just keeps an arm around Domme, pulls her into his lap or find a little corner of the room to bury his face into her neck, kissing at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. A silent plea for her and Domme always answers it, pulling his face out. 

“Want to get out of here?”

Joe will nod. “But I know we just got here.”

“Have all I need right here. Take me home. So I can have fun with you there.”

[lo1k-diamonds]

Unique 💜 Part 2 - Chapter 2

“Seeing you again just reminds me of it all even more.”

PAIRING: idol!Namjoon x OFC

SUMMARY: It's a year later when Angie decides to visit Hyejin, both women looking to get away from their problems. But a certain group is just pausing their tour, and old feelings are rekindled when their paths cross.

WORD COUNT:  14.5 k

GENRE: old lovers to ?

RATING: R (explicit)

WARNINGS: alcohol (not drunk), teasing, explicit smut, protected sex, oral (both), 69, multiple orgasms, dirty talking, body worship, nipple play, edging, Dom OC if you flinch, Namjoon puts her hand around his neck, ...

A.N. I'm uploading Part 2 every day as I edit it 💜 They reunite in this one, and things get steamy 🔥 (thank you for the new look, @eerieedits)

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“They’re not picking up the phone.” Hyejin huffed, putting her phone down. 

“You know that’s okay,” Yoongi commented quietly, driving them carefully.

She raked her fingers through her hair and tried calming down. “I know, but they should know people other than reporters might need to reach them!”

She bit her lip, instantly regretting raising her voice, and he nodded. “Is there someone else you can call?”

She instantly brightened up. “Yeah, wait.”

She dialed the personal phone number of her parents' live-in housekeeper. The older lady instantly picked up, and Hyejin was comforted by talking to her and learning that her parents were at home and that she was more than welcome to come by.

“They’ll appreciate you being here, miss.”

Hyejin suddenly pointed with her free hand. “No, no, you should go straight ahead.”

“It’s to avoid traffic,” Yoongi replied softly while turning left. Hyejin frowned; how did he know the way to her parents by heart?

But she dismissed it and finished the conversation over the phone.

“Thank you,” she said after a while of silence. “For doing this. I know I’d be freaking out way more if I was driving and trying to contact them at the same time.”

“I’m glad to do it.”

She pursed her lips and glanced outside, with the lights passing them by. “Did you know Nomin was supposed to meet us for dinner?”

A part of her didn’t want to touch on the subject of her husband right now, but the other was curious. But Yoongi was a master at not showing any emotions, so she wasn’t surprised that not even a blink was out of place. “He didn’t mention it.”

She scoffed. “Of course, he didn’t.” To hear something that confirmed her suspicions only increased her bitterness. Yoongi’s silence didn’t help. “Do you agree with him?”

He seemed absolutely focused on the road. “With what?”

“With me overreacting. With inspiration or whatever it is having the number one spot in a producer’s life.” She didn’t hide the pain in her voice.

Yoongi stopped at a light and finally glanced at her. Her eyes were watery, and her expression was a mask that hid a deep hurt. It pained him to see it.

“He was irresponsible,” he finally said, restarting the drive once the light was green.

Somehow, his reply pierced her heart more. “But it’s okay because he was inspired?”

“No.”

“It’s okay to leave me hanging and ignore my calls and our anniversary and anything related to our relationship because fucking inspiration strikes?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you didn’t say it was wrong either.” She would have sneered if those words hadn’t left a sour trace in her mouth. “Because you agree with him, don’t you?”

“It’s not my place.”

“You’re a producer too!”

“Still not my place.”

“Just fucking say it to my face instead of—”

“I just did, Hyejin.” His voice raised the slightest, firmly, to get her to stop.

“Why?” Suddenly, she felt eighteen again, staring at him in utter loss. She always had trouble expressing herself with him because her heart would shake, her cheeks would flush, and her hands would tremble. But she was ten years older now. “Why is it not your place? Aren’t you in an exclusive position to understand what being a producer requires?”

He sighed. “Hyejin—”

“Aren’t you one of my oldest friends? Who knows me the best?”

Her voice trembled with tears, and she looked away to hide them. She was lost, and it finally caught up with her. She sniffled and tried to regain control over her emotions, but his hand darted to hers and grabbed it, and it was like hearing that she didn’t have to.

She wasn’t paying attention, but when the car entered a driveway, she instantly recognized the house she had spent half of her life in. She rushed to click open the seat belt and get out of the car, but he was quicker. He pulled on the strap for more space and leaned forward to hug her. His hand on her head was soothing, and she instantly grimaced a cry and moved to hide in his neck, wishing she could just disappear.

He petted her head silently and stayed still with her in his arms, listening to her cry and regain her strength little by little.

Until she pulled away, cleaning her tears. “You didn’t answer.”

He just looked at her, brushing her hair behind her ear as she tried to look as presentable as possible.

She succeeded, though her eyes were still glistening. He showed no signs of meaning to say anything else; he was just looking at her.

“Tell me what you truly think.”

His lips twitched ever so slightly, but she noticed. They were so close to each other that she almost couldn’t make out his expression, but they were close enough that they could see everything.

“I… really… don’t think it’s my place.”

She frowned. “Why? Namjoon would tell me his opinion, anyone else would.”

“You’re right, anyone else would.”

“But not you.”

“No… not me.”

“Why?!” She smacked his chest exactly where her hands were resting, and only then did she realize his heart was racing under her touch. “Since when do you keep your thoughts to yourself?”

He chuckled. “I always have when it comes to you.”

She frowned. “Well, it’s me asking. So just tell me. I’m telling you to tell me,” she insisted, and he shook his head. “I want to hear what you think. What would you have done differently? What would you have done if you were me? What would you have done if you were in Nomin's shoes?”

“I would have done it all differently.” Her heart jumped, and she noticed the rhythm was similar to his. Yet he moved away and sat back in the driver’s seat. “I don’t know anything more than that. I don’t dare to think about being in his shoes.”

Her eyes widened, but instantly, he opened the door and got out of the car. She hurried out, too, and found him with his hand extended towards her. 

She took it. “Why? Why don’t you dare—”

“None of that matters right now,” he interrupted, brushing her hair out of her face again. She was so confused, but he kept trying to get her attention. “Your family needs you, and you’ll need to be strong for them.”

She sucked in a breath and then nodded; she knew he was right.

“Have you thought about what to do if your brother is there?”

“You mean besides kicking him in the balls?”

He contained a chuckle. “Yes, besides that.”

“He’ll get a piece of my mind, but he’s still my brother. Whatever gets my mom and dad through this.”

He nodded approvingly. “Then you got this. Call me if you need anything.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” She squeezed his hand with a frown. “You should come inside.”

“This is a difficult time, it’s rude of me to impose.”

“What the heck are you saying, Yoongi? You’re family!”

He shook his head. “It’s not my place.” Her eyes widened unbelievably, and he said, “Don’t argue with me; just get inside.”

He guided her by the hand to walk ahead, then let go, and she turned back. “I’ll go, but we’re going to talk about this. Stay right there, I’ll be right back.”

She pointed at him to stay put, and he heaved a deep breath but gave her a nod so that she’d finally get inside the house. He looked around and sighed, kicking the pebbles on the floor. 

What the hell was he supposed to say? He’d feel like trash if he somehow used their friendship to break up her marriage. Even if what he thought was what everybody else thought, he was the only one who was biased. Who didn’t look at her like a baby sister. No, he never had and he never would. He didn’t want her to hurt, he wanted her to be happy, to have the world, and to smile forever. But that happiness didn’t include him, and he didn’t want to throw that on her shoulders on top of everything else.

He turned back when he heard the front door open again and saw her running to him. His eyes widened when he figured she wasn’t stopping and he opened his arms when he saw she opened hers, too. She jumped into his arms and held him firmly, so much so he teared up. Her familiar scent permeated his nose and broke goosebumps all over his skin. God, he missed when he could just hug her like that.

“I asked my father’s driver to get you back,” she whispered into his ear. His instinct was to move away; this wasn’t just a hug to him, and he couldn’t risk not separating things—

Her fingers curled around the hair at the nape of his neck to embrace him firmly and tell him without words that it was okay to stay hidden in her neck just like he was now.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” she whispered, squeezing him closer. “I’ve missed you.”

He closed his eyes and tried not to waver on his feet. She couldn’t have possibly missed him more than he had missed her.

She pulled away, but he wasn’t ready for her smile. “And we’re talking about this. I’m not forgetting about it. You seem to have forgotten where your place is, and I hate it.”

She reached one hand on his shoulder and another to his cheek and his breath caught. He froze, and she kissed him on the cheek, pressing her lips and nuzzling his skin before pulling away.

Only his eyes moved to follow her movements, and she smiled as a car drove out of the garage by their side. “Maybe that will remind you. I’ll see you soon.”

She waved goodbye, and he finally released a breath. His shock dissipated along with the butterflies in his stomach, and he sighed and got inside the car. Friends. She was just being friendly.

Angie got into the back row of the car ahead of Namjoon and widened her eyes at the space. Only two individual seats in the back made up that much space covered in beige leather. There were curtains on the windows and a carpet on the floor, and as she sat, she stretched her legs — that was how far away the driver’s seat was. She glanced at Namjoon, who was just getting comfortable on the other seat and mimicked him by putting the seat belt on.

He said something to the driver that she didn’t understand and she pressed her lips quietly. Traveling in such a spacious car with curtains hiding the world outside was weird. It made it so that she could only see Kim Namjoon.

“So… When did you arrive?”

“Just a few hours ago.”

“Oh, wow. Hyejin knew you were coming?”

“Yeah, I booked the trip like two months ago. Maybe more.”

“Ah.” He looked down and brushed his hands over his legs. “Is it a special occasion or…?”

“No, not like last time, just—” She thought twice about it; she didn’t want to bother him with her problems. “Just needed the change in scenery.”

“Ahh… I bet Hyejin planned nice things for you to do together.”

She hummed. “I guess there are pajama parties and a day or two at a spa on the planning.”

“Woah, that sounds amazing. " He sounded envious, and she glanced at him with a hint of skepticism. Namjoon was always soft-spoken, not one to make ripples or overreact to anything. The way he sounded excited over light conversation was strange.

“Is this weird?” she asked, and his eyes widened.

“What?”

“Meeting me again.”

“No! No, it isn’t, I promise!” He instantly shook his hands in the air, looking almost spooked. “Why, is it to you?”

“No, not to me. I always wondered how you were doing. But the way you’re…” She thought again about how to phrase it while he took her musing brown eyes. “Superficially making conversation is… a bit off-putting.”

He looked away with a smile, and she tilted her head the slightest, intrigued.

“I guess I don’t know how to act,” he revealed, spreading his legs more comfortably. Leaning his head on the headrest, he faced her. “I am excited, but I don’t know what to expect, so I default to what I know best.”

“A mask of niceties?”

He smiled again. “I thought I was always nice.”

“You are,” she agreed with a nod. “But never from behind a mask. At least not with me.”

He grinned and acquiesced, “You’re right. No more mask, no need for one.” His expression sobered while his dark eyes stayed on her, observing and communicating without sound. “You look good. How have you been?”

She smirked. “That’s not a conversation for a twenty-minute car drive.”

“Well, depending on your schedule with Hyejin, maybe we could find more than a twenty-minute car drive.”

She instantly felt tension down her neck at the memories of being alone with him, but she shouldn’t imply anything from his words.

“I had planned to have alone time, but… I think this calls for an exception.”

He smiled and nodded. “Alone time? Anything in particular you want to do?”

She shrugged and told him she was thinking about touristing. She needed to see different things, so she thought about strolling, eating well, and visiting museums. He was instantly excited, suggesting so many different places for her to see that she couldn’t possibly keep track. She mentioned her difficulties with the language, and he quickly eased her by saying that in tourist places, things would often have a translation, like at the airport.

“But just in case, you should install this one app— Wait, let me check the name,” he said, getting his phone out.

He helped her install and configure an app to automatically translate things with her camera, and that was when the car stopped. She peeked through the curtain and nodded; she recognized the lobby and the valets instantly going around the car to figure out what was happening.

“Thank you for dropping me off. I didn’t have time to ask you how you were, but maybe we’ll have time for that in the future.” His eyes were dark, but she only gave him a small smile. “I won’t presume you’re free to come up with me. Or interested.”

He almost sighed. “I’m the one who didn’t want to assume. But I am. Interested and free.”

Their tones were lowering with each sentence as if they were exchanging secrets. “Have you had dinner already?”

He shook his head. “And even if I had.”

She recognized that glim in his eyes and smiled. “Then you could feed me and service me properly. How sad.” She sulked. “Well, then, see you next time—”

“Wait—”

She pretended to leave but quickly grabbed the hand he was reaching out to stop her. “I’m joking. I’d love it if you had dinner with me.”

His eyes focused on her, and she just gave him a light smile — she had missed those eyes. Then he squeezed her hand, and she noticed she was still grabbing it. She loosened her grip, and he let it slide.

He turned to the driver to say something while fumbling around in the car seat’s pockets for something. The driver answered, seemingly surprised, and Namjoon answered with something that resembled a ‘No worries.’ 

Finally, he found a facemask and pulled his gray hoodie to cover his head. “Let’s go.”

He opened the car door, and she hurried after him, a bit surprised by the instant abundance of light across the hotel’s entrance.

Namjoon waved graciously for her to go ahead and the car drove away. She was a bit confused, as it was normal when information was missing, but she walked into the hotel after searching for her keycard.

She turned to Namjoon. “Would you rather see if they still have tables available or—?”

“Straight up if you don’t mind,” he whispered half guiding her to where he knew the elevator lobby was. 

Once there, she pressed the up button and checked her card, showing it to him as well. He nodded and, once inside the elevator, pressed the right floor. He stood away from her, which caused her to frown just the slightest. Suddenly, everything felt so impersonal, and it had never been like that before. One year before, it felt like they were old lovers just having a sweet weekend together. Now, she could understand if things were different, but—

Maybe she had misinterpreted his meaning before.

They both got out and walked the corridor to her room. She stepped inside ahead of him and noticed her luggage in the corner, the open closet, the expansive room with a king-size bed with white sheets, a table with a welcoming basket, the TV on the wall, the minifridge, and the spacious bathroom.

When she returned to the main room, she saw him removing his mask and pulling the hoodie off.

“I hope you don’t mind if we order in. It’s always complicated at restaurants, and this is a bit impulsive, so I’d prefer not to risk it.”

“No, it’s okay.” She quickly shrugged, getting her things on a rack. “I can’t imagine how it must be every time you want to have a nice meal out with a friend.”

He glanced at her and then down. “If I’m with a big group, I don’t usually care. But in this case, it’s just us. It’s asking for trouble.”

Her eyebrows jumped. “Oh.” Suddenly she was looking at him with a different understanding. “Right, you— I’m sorry, it’s easy to forget that you’re… famous and easily recognizable.”

He smiled. “That’s okay. I like it that you don’t think about that.” She was searching around for something, and he glanced at the bed before looking away. “That you don’t remember that when you look at me.”

She finally found what she wanted with a smile. “Ah! The menu and order in! Oh, in Korean, of course. Even with the English translation, how am I supposed to understand what it means?”

He neared her. “You have me for that.”

She glanced out of the corner of her eye. “Do I? Perhaps I do, for now. Just in case, you’ll have to explain it all to me.”

He nodded with a chuckle and sat down on the bed. She noticed then his shoes were already off, so she passed him the menu and went to the entrance again to take off her sneakers.

He was focused on the choices when she jumped on the bed behind him and crawled to get to his side.

“To be clear, I never saw that side of you,” she said, sitting beside him comfortably. He looked at her. “Not that it would matter even if I did, but still. That’s why I don’t think about it. Let me know if there’s anything I should do differently or—”

“Nothing, there’s nothing you should do differently,” he instantly assured, gripping the menu. He was all right with anything except that.

“Okay, then.” She smiled before taping the menu for him to start explaining. “Though I must say, I don’t think I could ever look at you any other way but normal. I mean, I’ve seen you naked.”

She shrugged, and he pressed his lips and closed his eyes. His cheeks instantly flushed as she laughed at his embarrassment.

“You’re right,” he said, lightheaded with her laugh. “You and I are like that, right?”

“Absolutely.” She grinned. “Now explain it to me so we can choose what to eat.”

It took many tries between laughter for them to go through the whole menu and drink choices before they were ready to order. By then, she had already taken a coke from the mini-fridge.

“You’re taking too long,” she had complained.

“It’s not my fault, there’s so much that’s good… Oh, how about tonkatsu? You liked it last time.”

“Is that the breaded pork?” She sat beside him again, and he nodded. “Hell yeah, I loved it.”

“Okay. Then the kkorijjim for me.”

“Oh, is that the sweet oxtail dish?” He nodded. “Woah, I liked that too.”

“We can switch the order next time.”

He handed her the folded menu for her to order, and her eyes were fixed on his. She could swear he was attempting to tease her, but he had a good poker face. Again, she wondered if she had misunderstood the little signs between them, but finally, she smiled and took the menu. She never intended to meet him again or to sleep with him, for that matter. She wouldn’t complain if it happened again, heck no, but it didn’t matter either way. He was captivating to talk to, and that was enough.

She resorted to saying the number of they wanted to order instead of the names, earning a cheeky chuckle from Namjoon, which earned him a mock kick to the shin. 

When she was done, she put the phone back. “Finally, can’t wait. Now, if you don’t mind, I traveled today so I’d like to freshen up a bit before food.”

“Oh.” He was surprised and instantly stood up. “Do you want me to leave while you get comfortable?”

“No!” She was already opening her bag to get another set of clothes; would they still go out? Putting pajamas on was probably weird, right? “Of course not, you’re free to stay.”

She was busy getting her essentials out so she didn’t see him getting flustered. “No, but, of course, your privacy is important. You probably want to relax—”

“I am.” She grabbed everything in her arms and finally faced him. “I’m relaxed with you here, I see no reason for you to leave.” He still looked stiff, so she huffed. “You said it wasn’t weird.”

She raised a meaningful eyebrow, and he immediately felt awkward. “Ah, am I—? But I didn’t mean to.”

“Remember how we were a year ago? In a hotel room exactly like this one just doing our thing?” He nodded quietly. “In doubt, revert to those memories. Do whatever you feel like, Namjoon.”

She passed him to the bathroom and closed the door, and he released a big sigh. Doing whatever he wanted? Reverting to one year back? Those memories felt like a dream, and they could have been if she wasn’t right there again, messing with him from every angle.

He opened the minifridge and took a coke too before sitting at the table with a huge sigh. He couldn’t believe he was seeing her again, let alone that he was in a hotel room with her again. They had lived like they would never see each other again, and that was how that chapter happened. He cared for her during that time, knowing it was limited, unique, and perfect. Nothing was ever perfect in life, so he knew the nature of that encounter made it seem like it, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t care because it allowed him a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, a short moment of his life in which he was happy, fulfilled, enriched, and in love.

In love with their time and place and interaction, but it was limited, he reminded himself. There was no heartbreak because of that agreement. Seeing her again was not part of the deal, but who was he kidding? That chance was too sweet to miss, too tempting to refuse. She looked good, smiled the same way, had the same perfume, and her eyes—

Never from behind a mask. At least not with me.

He rubbed his face; he needed a mask because he couldn’t deal with the excitement, the impulse, the vertigo. No matter how much he wanted to experience it again, he knew he could get hurt and hurt her too. He pondered about it; a year later, the probability of getting hurt didn’t bother him. Even if his heart suffered, that was life. He feared regret way more than taking chances. But hurting her was something else, and there were things he knew he couldn’t give.

So he stayed seated instead of joining her shower as he wished. She had mentioned seeing him naked, and he sighed at the memory of her dainty curves pacing around the room. That and her laughter came quickly to mind and made him smile. He didn’t even know how she felt about it a year later, only that she wanted him to act the same. He was excited about the possibility of talking about it, about everything. If she wanted to, he wanted to. Bad.

He got on his phone and scrolled around until he noticed her humming. She was no longer showering, so he could hear it and smile.

When she got out, he teased her about it. “Still a good singer, I hear.”

She laughed. “Yeah, right? You still work in the music industry, don't you? Maybe we can come to an arrangement.”

She was organizing her clothes, and he just chuckled. “I’m sure we could if you wanted to.”

She laughed a bit out of breath. “Yeah, right. I know your standards are higher than this.”

She turned away from him with a smile, ready to choose something else to drink from the minifridge, when he said, “I know how beautifully you can sing if you’re played right. There’s no higher standard than that.”

She grabbed a small bottle of Spritz and sat across from him, her lips curved. “That’s fair. But we’re not in a hurry, are we?”

“That depends…”

“On what?” She poured her drink and put the bottle away.

“How long are you staying?”

“A week.”

His jaw dropped. “A week?” 

She smiled. “So are we in a hurry?”

“No. One week is much better than last time.”

She chuckled. “Would we be in a hurry if it was less time?”

“No, not really.”

She smiled and took a sip of her drink. “Just so we’re clear, I’m taking free and interested to heart.”

He grinned. “You should. I’m doing the same, then, with your suggestion to revert to one year ago and do what I want.”

Her smile was bright, and he had missed it. “Go ahead.” She drank a bit more and smiled. “I can’t wait, but that still doesn’t mean we’re in a hurry, right?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

He drank more of his coke and seemed at ease, too, so she let those questions go. They both knew where things were going and would enjoy the tension until it happened.

When someone knocked on the door, she promptly let room service in. When she followed the waiter with a car on wheels back in, she was surprised to see Namjoon nowhere to be found. The bathroom door was closed, though, so she just shrugged and observed, as the table was perfectly set with everything.

She bowed and thanked the employee on their way out, and only then did Namjoon come out.

Her eyebrows twitched, and he smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

She shrugged, and they were free to sit at the table and dig in. “Now I can finally ask you: how are you? How have you been?”

He smiled. “Finally, yes. Well, I’m exhausted but good. We were touring during this last year, and now we’re back home for a month for a break.”

“Touring where?”

“Asia.”

“If you tour the East Coast, don’t forget to let me know. Or, well, let Hyejin know so she can tell me.”

He nodded as he ate quietly. They never exchanged phone numbers on purpose, but he could do that. 

He cleared his throat. “Which is why I was so surprised to see you, actually.” She raised her eyebrows, and he clarified, “Hyejin never told me you were visiting.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t ask her to keep it a secret. I suppose since things have been difficult for her, including the anniversary fiasco and you being on tour, it probably didn’t occur to her to tell you.”

“Probably,” he agreed, then sighed. “Things have been hard for her, definitely. And we haven’t been here to help her like we should.”

“Hey, neither have I. But she knows we're here for her, no matter what. She could run away to me just like I’ve done to her.”

“You’re running away?” His forehead creased in a mix of surprise and skepticism.

“It’s hyperbole.”

“We have more than twenty minutes.”

She grinned. “We do, right? I guess I just don’t want to sour the mood with my problems.”

“You don’t have to talk about it, but nothing would be soured. If it bothers you, then I’d like to hear it.”

She stayed quiet for a while just looking at him, then acquiesced, “I feel like I’m at a crossroads. I like teaching, I like feeling like what I do has an impact, but lately… I don’t know. I don’t feel accomplished, which is ridiculous. I’m a young professor, it doesn’t get much better than this.”

“By whose standards? Who cares what matters to other people? Your life is your story to tell, you should focus on yourself and your own opinion.”

Her chin trembled, but she smiled wholeheartedly. “Of course, I should. Sucks when I don’t know what I want to do though.”

“Maybe you don’t know yet, but it will become clearer in the future. Maybe all you need is rest and a change in scenery.”

“You know I thought the exact same thing?” She jokingly pretended to be surprised but instantly smiled along with him. “Yeah, I’m hoping that rest does something for me. We just got a major publication in Nature, and again, it’s amazing, but where do I go from there?”

“In Nature? That’s a big shot magazine or—”

“Journal, yes. Scientific journal. Only the most prestigious. Everyone does whatever it takes to get published there. Only the tip of the spear in scientific research achieves this.”

“Right.”

“Think like an Oscar or a Grammy or a Nobel Prize.”

“Really? Nobel Prize?”

“No, that’s probably an exaggeration,” she agreed with a chuckle.

“And how did you do it?”

“We finally validated a model that shows that two-dimensional quantum condensates are experimentally accessible, meaning that research into superfluids can get to the next stage.”

He nodded. “Superfluid is the helium thing, right?”

“Yes, we transform helium into superfluid.”

He chuckled. “You know, I’ll never understand any of it, but I always remember that you work with helium. Every time it comes up, my first thought is, ‘Angie would know all about it.’”

She smirked and shook her head. “Although my work is so much more than just helium, I totally get you.” He pouted, but she dismissed it playfully. “I can’t imagine that helium comes up frequently in a conversation.”

He humed. “Yeah, that’s true.”

“So I guess you never had to think that a lot.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Are you trying to imply that’s the only thing I remember about you?” She was ready to shake her head, but he continued, “You underestimate me, huh? I paid attention.”

“Yeah? Tell me three things that you remember about me.”

“Three? Only three? Easy.” He put the chopsticks down to focus on the task at hand. She opened the minifridge and showed him a soju bottle. “Yes, please. I’m older than you, so let me.”

She passed it to him with a smile before sitting back down. “Three, Mr. Kim Namjoon.”

“Yes, I got it. Well, one is the helium, of course.” She waited for him to pour the drink with a sly smile. “Then I always think about your color ideas.”

“Color ideas?”

“Yeah.” He poured two glasses and clinked his with hers before drinking. “The perceptions of color through different lenses and air compositions and densities, which would mean that everything we perceive in normal conditions would be something else entirely in different conditions. Like if we were in alternate universes or dimensions.”

Her cheeks warmed up. “You remember me rambling about that?”

“Of course I do. I remember it every time I go into a museum and I check the light schemes over a piece or a room. Even at my own home. It makes me happy and hopeful that something more will always be discovered. Like there’s a perpetual mystery, even if I always use my own two eyes.”

She was no longer smiling but staring at him with an empty glass of soju and pink cheeks.

“What?” he asked, taking a bite of meat. “Oh, you want more?”

He looked at her empty glass, and she quickly put it down. “No. And the third thing?”

“Your love for teaching. The meaning you gave it and that it gave you. I admire that about you, so much.”

“Why?”

“Because for all that I’m worth, and everything I’ve done, I am not a great teacher.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true. I try, but the process… it’s different for everyone.”

“It’s about understanding other perspectives and creating something transposable across them.”

He smiled. “Maybe that sounds easy to you, but not to me.”

“Maybe making music is harder.”

“Hmm, harder than quantum physics?” He grimaced before smiling again. “No way. Just… it’s a feeling, and even if I explain my process, it doesn’t mean the outcome will be the same.”

“Because it’s not an exact science,” she countered, a bit in disbelief. “If music is a feeling, then there are as many ways of feeling it as there are people. And if each person is unique, then no wonder you can’t have the same outcome. That doesn’t make you a bad teacher. If you give them tools, then you have to wait for them to do the rest.”

He smiled, feeling some type of way he had missed. “You’re very wise.”

She snorted. “Please. I teach equations, the outcome is set. I teach very difficult and complex equations and models outside of the conceptual universe we live in.”

“Are you selling yourself short right now? How are students supposed to understand all that without a good teacher?”

She teared up and smiled. “Thank you.” He smiled too. “I'm happy. It's still very easy to talk to you.”

His genuine smile showed his dimples. “I’m happy, too.”

They had finished dinner and the bottle of soju.

“Should we order a bottle of something? To drink?”

He pressed his lips. “I thought you wouldn’t want us to get drunk.”

“We don’t have to drink the whole thing.” She shrugged. “I don’t want to get drunk, I want to have a good drink with you. We said we’d do that if we ever saw each other again.”

He nodded; he remembered that well. “I always pictured us at a bar,” he confessed. “Not like a club, but a nice, quiet, elegant bar where we could chat and catch up.”

“The bar downstairs is nice…” her voice trailed off, and he pursed his lips. “But I didn’t think you’d want to risk it,” she finished, and he nodded. “So come on, do me the favor of choosing a bottle for us to chat and catch up over?”

She got up and went to the bathroom, and he sighed, grabbing the list to check the possibilities. It was definitely not a favor; he wanted her to have only the best.

When she came back, he had made a choice. “The Yamazaki single malt. It’s Japanese whisky aged 18 years. I heard it’s a good one.”

She saw all the zeroes, but it didn’t really translate to anything to her because it was in Korean Wan. “Alright, sounds good. I’ll ask for it.”

He smiled and let her order. He would tell Hyejin that he would pay for dinner and the drinks, so he wasn’t worried about the cost. That was his treat to her.

She put the phone down. “They’re also sending someone to collect the food. Just so you know.”

He resented her colder tone and lowered his eyes. “Thanks. You know it’s just to avoid trouble.”

“I know.”

“It has nothing to do with you or wanting to be with you.” 

Her lips twitched, and she nodded. “I believe you. I like to believe that after what we’ve discussed and experienced, you never held back from doing what you wanted, even if you must be careful about it.”

He pursed his lips and looked down again. “I wanted to. I mean, that’s my mentality, yes. I’m confident.”

“Is there a but coming?”

“But… I was on tour.” He shrugged, and her blank stare told him she didn’t understand. “Touring is absolutely exhausting.”

“So?”

“So? No mental, physical, or emotional space to remotely think about anything else.”

“Ah,” she breathed, frowning slightly. “I see. That makes sense.”

He couldn’t guess what she was thinking, but her expression made him uneasy. He laughed it off. “You look disappointed.”

Her eyelashes fluttered in surprise. “Disappointed? No, why?” He shrugged, and she sat on the bed. “Life gets in the way, and people are complicated.”

He agreed, and although it didn’t feel like that was why she was frowning moments ago, he let it go. “Dating isn’t usually on my to-do list anyway.”

“I can imagine.”

“Did you get back to dating?” He didn’t feel weird asking since he had spoken about himself first. “You were kind of annoyed about it a year ago.”

“I tried… but it didn’t work.” She shrugged. She thought about what happened and decided to say it anyway, “I went on a few dates and then realized I was searching for you. I was holding everyone to your standard, I mean,” she clarified when his eyebrows jumped. “And it’s not by any means a bad standard to have, it’s just… not how it works. So I stopped.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. You remember, my standards were always high. And you meet them, that’s all.”

“Is me being here right now… a bad thing?”

She arched an eyebrow. “Bad? How so?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt you or—”

“Wait wait wait, you’re not hurting me. You kind of give me hope that my standards aren’t unattainable, and I love that. Did I weird you out? I didn't mean—”

“No, no, it’s not that. I just… I’m wary of hurting you by just doing this without thinking. There are always consequences.”

“Sure, the consequence for me is that I know what I want, and I’ll wait for it. You’re here now, and we both agree on what this means, so I didn’t think there was a problem.”

“There isn’t.”

“That’s good. If you exist, then someone else might, too. They’ll never be you but…” She was lost in thought for a second before she felt his eyes on her and she finished, “They don’t have to be.”

He nodded and looked away. They both knew what it meant and agreed. He wasn’t upset about anything she said, but something bothered him, like a thorn he couldn’t see but felt nonetheless.

“What was the consequence for you?” she asked.

He looked at her again. “I don’t know.” He turned inwards, and she waited patiently for his thoughts. “Maybe I feel confident that if I want to do something, I’ll just do it. I won’t hold back.”

She smiled. “That’s good then.” She sighed. “No dating, so no chatting and swiping in your off time.” He chuckled. “So what do you do when you have a moment?”

“Depends on how long I have and my mood. Lately, I mostly watch something or read when I have time.” She nodded, and he lowered his tone. “When it’s dark at night, other thoughts pop to mind. Like a weekend we once had.”

She instantly frowned and felt a prickle of embarrassment. “You don’t have to say something like that just because of what I said.”

“I’m not. You know I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“You just said you had no time or space to think about that kind of stuff. Why would you think about us?”

When the door knocked, she got up to get it. She did it slowly so Namjoon had time to enter the bathroom before room service came in to clean around, leaving a bucket with ice cubes and the bottle they requested.

She felt bad just observing the waiter work, so she looked out the window at the night view instead. She hoped she hadn’t sounded irritated or demanding, she wasn’t collecting dues or anything like that. If anything, she was a bit frustrated. Their moments together had a lasting impact on her, but she wasn’t sure they meant anything to him. They didn’t have to; she understood that was perhaps ridiculous on her part. Still, the thought that it didn’t matter to him left her feeling lacking. Like it was only unique to her. Like she didn’t mean to him as much he meant to her.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the waiter quickly excusing himself and leaving or the bathroom door opening. Her eyes were fixed on the stars when a quiet voice sounded near her ear.

“Because it marked me.”

She finally blinked and saw his reflection behind her. He looked serious, almost vulnerable, as he stood behind her without touching her.

“Because it’s one of the best memories I have. I was happy with you. More myself than I get to be most of the time. I see it as a moment in my life I was lucky enough to live. I treasure it, and I always will.”

Relief hit her in a way that watered her eyes, and her head fell back to his shoulder. Her eyes closed as she moved back, hoping to find a firm chest, and she did. His arms wrapped around her waist gently, and she supported them, snuggling closer. She sighed; suddenly, it felt like she was coming home.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I was worried.”

“Worried?” He asked, raising his chin from her shoulder briefly.

She hummed. “That it didn’t matter to you. That you had forgotten all about it.”

“I could never forget about it. And it mattered a lot. Being with you made me braver, happier, and more confident.” He hid his mouth on her shoulder for a moment. “Seeing you again just reminds me of it all even more.”

“Me too. I was curious. Is it bad that I’m happy you’re single? So you could come up here and give me some attention?” He squeezed his arms around her and hid his smile on her tee shirt. “I mean, I thought maybe you wanted just to have dinner as a friend, and that’d be okay too, but…”

“I told you from the start — free and interested.”

“Yeah, I know, but… you know.”

She rested her head on his, and he smiled. “And it isn’t bad. I thought the same. I saw you, and I couldn’t believe it.”

“Me either. What are the odds?”

“We literally arrived a few days ago, you have no idea.” He pressed his lips to her shoulder before she turned around in his arms.

“Meaning the universe plotted to get us here again, hm?”

“You believe in the universe plotting things?” He chuckled, pressing her close by the lower back. 

“I’m a physicist, I’ve seen things no one can explain. The universe plotting wouldn’t be half as hard to explain.”

“No?” He was amused, insisting just to keep her going.

“No. See, time as we perceive it is—” He leaned to kiss her forehead over her bangs, and her voice quieted. “Is just that, a perception. In physics, some would say time is relative—” She closed her eyes, but he was still only tracing her temple with his lips.

“Relative?”

“Relative. It depends on the observer.” She was ready to stop talking but noticed that he stopped whenever she did. Well, then. “But in quantum mechanics, for example, time is absolute.”

His lips grazed her cheeks. “So… relative or absolute?”

“I theorize both.”

“What does that have to with plotting?” He kissed the corner of her mouth.

“No idea,” she breathed, turning her head to catch his lips.

Her heart jumped with the contact, and she could barely keep herself together. Her hands instantly palmed his shoulders firmly, giving substance to a kiss that wasn’t a dream like many were over the last year. No, that sweet taste was real, as were his fingers brushing her hair back or the arm snaking around her waist to keep her close. 

Her cheeks flushed as their kiss blossomed, feeling the heat navigate her skin in waves. Their lips grazed and brushed in a way that was entirely theirs, and when her tongue pushed through the line of his lips, the world turned upside down.

She had longed for that taste, for that special type of kiss that no other lips could match. She sighed and melted further in his arms, reaching up his scalp to grab his hair. Soon, her heart would explode from excitement just from feeling him again.

So she pulled him back with a sparkly amusement in her eyes. “We said we weren’t in a rush.”

“We’re not,” he agreed, but he was holding his breath and staring at her lips.

“Then have a drink with me. I want to try that whisky you suggested.”

“Right. Okay.”

He peeled himself off her and took a deep breath, ready to be useful somehow while he tried to regain composure, but he was lost. He turned to her for any hint on what he should do first, and she was already setting up the glasses.

“Neat or on the rocks or…?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

He took a deep breath, pulling on the collar of his sweater to let the heat escape. “When you say a drink, do you mean taste it only? Or do you want to talk?”

She chuckled. “We can have a whisky and water if we let the ice melt.”

“That’s barbaric.”

She laughed mischievously. “I knew you’d say that.” She couldn’t stop laughing, and he smiled, nearing her with the whisky bottle in hand. “I don’t need to talk anymore, I need you. I was just trying to get you for making fun of me.”

“I didn’t make fun of you.” He opened the bottle while she spoke and poured one finger of the amber liquid into each glass.

“You kinda did.”

“No,” he refuted firmly, then put the bottle down and raised one glass alongside her. They clinked glasses with eyes deeply connected and drank it all in one go. He savored it, sucking the flavor to the tip of his tongue before letting it down, and she grimaced at how potent it was. “It is a good one. And I didn’t. Now, whenever someone mentions time, all I’ll think about is that you believe in plotting universes, relative and absolute concepts, and that you stop thinking whenever I’m about to kiss you.”

“A fourth thing, huh?” She had ditched the glass and laced her arms around his neck. He hummed. “There’s a flaw to your logic, you know?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re drawing conclusions from a single observation. As a scientist, I can’t agree.”

“Ahh, what do I do?”

“Easy.” She smirked as he leaned in to kiss her jawline. “Repetition, Mr. Kim Namjoon. All you have to do… is…” His lips moved to her chin, and her eyes hooded. “Do it again.”

He kissed her lips again and squeezed her close, and this time, she had nothing else crossing her mind. Nothing to tease him about or torture her with, just the need for those lips on hers and his firm hands on her.

He all but listened to her thoughts when his hands pressed her into him and rubbed her back along her spine in small but pointed movements that had her sighing. Following the sweet brush of his lips was as natural as swimming down a flowing creek, and it was her pleasure to squeeze him close to her, too.

He raised her in his arms for a second, and she chuckled into their kiss, raising her feet on purpose so he’d support her weight, and he did. His arms gripped her waist firmly and carried her near the bed before lifting her just enough so that she could kneel over it.

She sighed, brushing her hands across his chest. “You might be even stronger than before.”

Normally, he would have felt awkward with such a comment — he cared little for physicality. But coming from her, it made him smile. “Have to work out a lot during the tour.”

She hummed distractedly, her hands palming his broad shoulders. “To build resistance?”

“And stamina.”

His sweet dimples adorned a gorgeous smile, and she bit her lower lip. “My, are you saying you might be a challenge?”

“No, of course not.” He instantly pulled her closer by the waist, feigning a playful worry. “Just that I plan to treat you like you deserve.”

“And what do I deserve?”

He felt her curves, letting his hands reach the top of her ass without going further down. “To be worshipped from head to toe. Appreciated, rewarded, and basked in a sweet afterglow.”

She sighed and closed her eyes with a pout. “Do you have any idea how it feels to hear that? It’s like a dream.” He grinned happily, eagerness hiding in the slight tremble of his fingers waiting for permission. Because of his smile, she was comfortable exposing her every thought, “It’s like a dream, but then there’s you.” Her fingers brushed his cheeks softly, and he focused. “And if you exist and are with me like this, then am I really dreaming?”

“You’re not dreaming,” he whispered, sensing she needed the comfort.

“I’ll really get to have you again?”

“If I’m lucky,” he said, leaning to nuzzle her as she closed her eyes.

“You are,” she sighed, nuzzling him back, her core fluttering in anticipation. “I’ll make you the luckiest man alive. Kiss me, Namjoon.” He gave her a single tentative kiss. “Have me and don’t hold back.”

Her glistening eyes told him what she wanted as resolutely as her voice, so he finally brushed her cheek and tugged her dirty-blonde hair behind her ear as he pressed their lips together again. It felt different this time; they had already kissed and recognized each other, declared their desire, and teased, but they hadn’t asked for that intimacy yet. 

He liked it when she clearly stated what she expected or wanted, and he knew she liked the same. Their consent was explicit between them, and there wasn’t a doubt about how attracted or comfortable they were with each other. All he wanted was to touch her and be with her and receive a perfect reaction. With no judgment, no hesitation, no false premises or distorted ideas of who he was as a person. He was free to be himself with her in intimate and unbelievable ways, and as he kissed her, he realized how much he had missed that.

He stopped their kiss to look at her, flushed and breathing heavily, with hooded brown eyes focused on him, waiting. She didn’t know what he was thinking about but hoped it included continuing this. She gripped his sweater over his shoulders and then looked down, trying to find the hem of that oversized piece, but he was quicker. It took him two seconds to pull the huge hoodie off, revealing a smooth lithe surface that she was instantly compelled to feel with her fingertips. She traced up his firm chest, golden skin unblemished and perfectly plum under her curious hands.

That was the extent she got to focus on him before he tilted her head gently and asked for her attention again. His mouth caught hers in a deep kiss that had her forgetting everything that wasn’t that sweet connection. She forgot he was half naked in front of her and traced her hands to his neck to pull him close, to brush his soft longer hair and get lost.

That was how her pajama shorts came off, his hands dragging along her legs and planting goosebumps in their wake. Their lips didn’t part except for the single moment it took for her top to come off, too. Instantly, she was dazed by his kiss again, yet soon she noticed his hands behind her fighting with her bra, and she chuckled.

“Are you losing, Namjoon?”

He almost grumbled, “It’s not working with me.”

He was pecking and nuzzling her neck and could feel her chuckling in the hum under his mouth, but it didn’t phase him. He wanted that bra off, he just didn’t get why it wasn’t coming off.

Her hands reached behind her to try and help him, and then she stopped. “What did you do?”

She sounded surprised, and he puffed with a shrug. He just wanted to keep going like that, breathing her in and tasting every inch slowly and uninterrupted.

But she pulled away with a curious frown and pulled the back of the bra to her chest so she could see what was happening. Meanwhile, he was starstruck. As she fumbled with the bra, her breasts hid under her wrists, perky nipples pointing and begging to be touched.

He licked his lips with his hands firmly on her waist, waiting, when she snorted. “How did you manage to get the hook on a thread of lace?”

He huffed. “Things like that just happen to me.”

She finally unhooked it and threw the bra far away. “Must be challenging.” He was distracted, with his mind in a completely different orbit, staring at her chest, and she chuckled. “Don’t worry.” She grabbed his hands from her waist to her chest. “I’m not letting you lose today.”

She squeezed his hands on her tits, and he believed her. He’d always believe her; like a fervent devoted follower, he would follow and revere her like she deserved.

He leaned forward to suckle and lick her sensitive nipples, and she arched back, giving him space to do what he wanted. His mouth pressing and leaving wet trails on her skin made her shudder, but his dark eyes looking up while his pink tongue flicked over a hard nipple drove her wild. Her fingers got laced in his hair, and she held his head close, their gazes locked together in a loop that spelled their mounting tension.

She could feel her wetness pooling in her underwear by the time he moved down from her tits, though not without pinching them first. She moaned and leaned further back to make it easy for him to leave a trace of kisses down and over her stomach all the way to her mound.

She let herself fall back to bed, opening her legs with eagerness, and he kneeled between them but pulled one leg to the side. She looked up with a question but realized then she wasn’t fully naked yet and could read in his eyes that he wanted that.

He leaned in to hook his fingers on her laced panties and drag them down, and she smirked. “Can’t wait?”

To see what he remembered so well, and yet not well enough? To taste and smell that piece of heaven again? To snatch and bite and lick that delicious slick he had been reminiscing about for a year?

“No.”

He finally dragged the panties off and instantly bowed to reach her shins with his lips, kissing upwards as he palmed and massaged her calves gently. She sighed and trembled as he made his way up, spreading her legs open for him again in the hopes that he would go where she needed him to. 

Her eyes were closed, taking in every millimeter his lips touched towards the final goal. She was waiting patiently until he started lingering around her inner thighs. Then, she opened her eyes and looked down, only to find him staring at her core all the while he kneaded her hips.

“I’ve never seen you so patient,” she teased, urgency not so subtle in her tone.

“Not patient,” he mouthed against her thigh before sighing. “Trying to make this good for you.”

“It’s fucking good,” she groaned, legs shaking around him in excitement and eagerness. “Don’t make me wait.”

Her wish was his command; either way, he couldn’t wait any longer. He shortened the distance between his objective and his mouth and crashed so hard she instantly moaned and ground against his face. Then he closed his eyes with a deep breath.

His mouth moved on her as he nuzzled her clit, slurping and nibbling on her folds, and she moaned loudly, squirming in place. Fuck, she missed that. How he treated her was intense and fulfilling; it made her feel special every time. Like he wanted to eat her and nothing could stop him, like his mouth was made to pleasure her, and they were just starting.

She reached to grip his hair again and looked down, seeing his face disappearing in her with only his closed eyes visible. That view had her clenching and biting on her lip hard, and he looked up, instantly feeling her flutter once more. His tongue licked faster; he had to know it was all for him, and he wanted more.

“You know what I want,” he mumbled when he pulled away, licking his lips and taking a deep breath. “Do it for me.”

He pressed his mouth to her again and suckled on her clit gently, and she tried holding back a moan. “Only if you do that thing with your mouth—”

He instantly did, tensing his lips over her clit so she could move and have pressure, and the deep moans just rolled out of her lips.

“That’s it.” He licked the slick pooling just beneath his chin. “So fucking sexy.”

She was about to whine when he did it again, and she just moaned. She couldn’t get over what was happening: Namjoon was between her legs again, eating her out and making her tremble and lose her marbles as only he could. Fuck, she wanted him so bad. She wanted to ride that face, that cock, get fucked in every possible angle, scream his name and have him give her all his precious come. Just thinking about it sparked her immediately and she gripped her feet on the mattress to buck her hips into his mouth, savoring the way he relegated breathing all so she could have that perfect pressure just a little longer.

Her core pulsing on his mouth was better than just a shallow orgasm. His groan into her turned the pleasure to bliss as she moaned and gripped his head without truly measuring her strength.

When she ran out of breath, the tension left her completely, and she fell back to the bed. She was so languid, she could have been floating up in the clouds. His instant wet kisses over her mound and inner thighs were soft caresses that couldn’t shake her out of it.

“I love doing this,” he murmured reverently, massaging her hips in up and down movements as if he had not just relaxed her to her very soul.

“And I love it when you do this.”

He grinned and kissed his way up, taking a small bite out of an unsuspecting perky nipple before reaching her lips. She grabbed his head close and made that sweet exchange last right until she let herself fall to the mattress again with a sigh.

“You have such a beautiful mouth,” she breathed, lazily observing him lying back beside her with a shy yet happy chuckle.

“Thanks?”

“Beautiful words, beautiful values, beautiful kisses, and beautiful pussy eating.” She sighed and moved under his arm to rest flushed to his firm torso.

He grinned as he caressed her shoulder. “Remember when I thought you didn't want me to do it?” He could see her raised eyebrow. “Because you wanted to use a toy instead. I thought you didn’t have much faith in me.”

She pouted and tangled their legs. “Really? That’s what you remember?” She traced his buff chest as she went down memory lane. “Because what I remember is falling apart in the blink of an eye every time you ate me out, just like now.”

He pressed her closer and glued his lips to her head. “I’m damn proud of that.”

She hummed, still a bit upset that he remembered the bad over the good, and he turned to hug her closer.

“I was so silly, jumping to conclusions like that, and you immediately taught me not to do that.” He sighed and kissed her head, and she finally hugged him back. “Because there are no masks between us, no lack of faith, and no fears.”

She inhaled his musky scent as she hid in his buff chest. “It’s a learning curve every time.” He hummed against her hair. “Except when you eat me out. A year later, you still remember how to very well.”

He grinned. “Like I said, I’m proud of that.”

“I can see that,” she mumbled, nuzzling his chest and sighing with his warmth. Then, she started pecking it as her hand moved from his back to a small space she created just between them until she snatched his hard-on over his pants. He sucked in a breath, and she chuckled. “Meanwhile, I’m proud of this.” She squeezed him, facing up to speak into his neck, “Are you hard for me?”

He groaned but didn’t move away. “Yeah.”

“Yeah? Don’t tell me, was it my time theories?”

She was playful, and he bit his lip. “Those didn’t go very far.”

“Right. Plus, you’re an important music producer,” she pointed out, dragging her hand along his clothed shaft before slipping inside his boxer briefs and grabbing his length. He trembled, and she smiled. “I know: it must have been my moans.” She grabbed his tip firmly in her fist. “Was it?”

“You sound beautiful.”

His breathing was uneven, and she smiled. “That means I deserve a reward, right?”

“Oh, yeah.”

She grinned at the way he was looking at her. “I want my round of moans.” He bit his lip, looking at her mouth with hooded eyes, and she licked her lips with a cunning grin. “You’ll let me, right?”

He nodded and leaned in, quickly licking her lips before his tongue pushed inside her mouth for her delicious taste. She smiled into their kiss then started licking his tongue whenever he was in the right position, giving him a glimpse of what she’d do if it was his cock instead. His quiet groans as she squeezed the tip of his dick in her hand were making her hot; no matter how much she loved those lips, right now, she was craving something else.

She broke up the kiss and smiled up at him as she pushed him by the shoulders to fall back on the mattress. Her lips curved as she got on top of him and his eyes quickly roamed her entire body as if they didn’t know where to focus first. She sat on his stomach and leaned forward so he could eat and ravish her tits at ease. Meanwhile, she had to smile at the sound of his zipper opening as he opened his pants. No matter how busy he was nibbling her breast, he still was careful to get her access to what she wanted.

Once his hands were back on her waist, trailing her curves gently, she reached behind her and gripped his cock inside the briefs. A teary tip helped her slide her hand better.

She moaned through gritted teeth at the way he was licking and nibbling on her nipple right before pulling away. He grabbed both breasts firmly then pressed his face to them with a sigh.

“I love them.”

She smirked. “I can tell.” Her hand never stopped pumping him, and he was rock hard. “You’re getting worked up for me.” He sighed. “I can’t let it go to waste.” 

He looked at her as she smiled mischievously and moved down along his body. He didn’t want to let go of her gorgeous breasts, and he didn’t want her to move away, not right now. He was ready to convince her to ride him like this, and he already had an argument to persuade her — he’d moan for sure like this, too — but then he groaned, and his thoughts slipped. She had pulled his pants over his length and sat on him, aligning her slit with his dick masterfully. She rolled her hips, and he groaned again, eyes closed and fingertips squishing her tender flesh. She felt so good, even through the fabric of the boxers.

“Namjoon,” she called with a sweet tone. “Open your eyes for me.”

He did, not even knowing when he closed them, and only saw her smirk before she showed him her hand — it was wet, and his cock twitching, squeezed against her folds reminded him why instantly.

She felt it too and chuckled. “Are you dripping for me?” Her tone was sensual as she kept rolling her hips on him. “Is it that good?”

“You know it is,” he mumbled, looking at her only to catch her licking her hand.

She sighed loudly with the expansion of her tongue catching every edge of his flavor. “Fuck, you’re good.” But too soon the flavor was gone, and she leaned on him, gluing her mouth to the corner of his mouth. “You have more for me, right?”

“Fuck—” he groaned, and his hands almost jumped to her hips to stop her, but she pressed his hands right where they were on her chest.

“No, don’t stop,” it sounded like a whiny request, but he instantly lost the ability to go against her wishes. She was pressing and grinding so hard on the tip of his cock that he didn’t know how to think anymore. “Your hands fit my chest so well,” she moaned, squeezing them through his hands. Then, she felt him twitch against her core, and she stopped moving, letting him breathe.

His forehead was covered in a thin layer of sweat, and his expression read concentration. He was focusing on not coming yet, and she smiled.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon.”

His eyes instantly snapped open with alarm.

“I know we both love this, but I need more.” She tilted her head to the side with her tongue peeking between her lips, and he almost cursed. “You’re going to cum in my mouth before you get to cum anywhere else.”

He sighed but only let go of her chest when she tapped his hands. He faced her again then, but for the life of him, it didn’t even occur to him to contradict her. He was so turned on, and he didn’t want to miss any opportunity. Knowing her and them, he knew they were just starting. A week. No masks and no fears. He relaxed and gave her tits a last gentle squeeze before letting go.

She winked at him before turning around to face his crotch, getting comfy over his chest. She was so wet that it was dripping down, so when she tentatively ground her heat on his pecs, there was no surprise to see the slick connecting them both.

She looked over her shoulder at him grabbing her asscheeks and staring at her glistening cunt. She loved the view and would have loved to tease him, but she had other priorities right now.

She turned to finally focus one hundred percent on the dick she was most fond of. It was silly, but she felt like a kid on Christmas hoping for a PlayStation or whatever they wished for these days. It was like unwrapping a gift, one she had experienced it before, and it had her begging for seconds. She pushed his pants and boxer briefs, making sure it was far enough for him to get rid of it all just by squirming, then gasped with happiness and reached for his weeping hard shaft. Her favorite toy; she could barely contain herself.

She stuck out her tongue and collected the precum drops on his tip, making her groan. There it was, more of that delectable taste. She gripped him and instantly put the tip in her mouth, so happy to swirl her tongue around, hoping to have more of it.

He was so deliciously hard in between her lips and squeezing him and gripping his base wasn’t enough. She spread her legs more to have support on his chest and bobbed her head along his shaft, sucking the saliva so it wouldn’t drool down and instantly make a mess. It turned her on so much to feel him hard and needy inside her mouth, eager to shoot his cum at her whim, that she started rolling her hips for any friction she could get. His chest was buff and strong, and she raised a knee so her clit could grind on his pec better.

She moaned, but his cock muffled her until her lips couldn’t stay taut. Then, she let her drool slide down his length, and she pulled back to lick the mess she was making.

“You have such a good cock.”

He only groaned, hands digging into her asscheeks in response. His cheeks were fully crimson now; he was so hot and didn’t know what to do, only that he couldn’t do anything but let her do whatever she wanted.

“Look at what you do to me, hm?” She hummed, trying to reach his balls with her tongue, but he had her in a firm grip — she couldn’t go very far. “Almost coming from grinding on you like this.” She moved her hips, and he saw her clenching around nothing. “Just from blowing you,” a moan pitched her voice because he was helping her press herself to his chest. “Fuck, so good. All of you, so good. I want to cum all over you so bad— But you have to cum first.”

She took him again inside her mouth and bobbed her head as far as she could go. She didn’t bother getting the rest with her hand because it was already working as a cockring around the base. As she recalled, that was the best way to edge him, and his quiet moans confirmed how right she was.

His cock pulsated both at the base and between her lips, so she let him go again.

“Fuck, such a good cock,” she moaned, feeling her slick connect them even more.

“How?” He was hiding his burning cheeks under his hands. “How can you say those things right now?”

She chuckled sensually, then slurped her drool. “You mean I should say it when I’m not drooling all over you? Or that I should only when I figuratively drool all over you?” She was squeezing his cock at the base, looking at the head twitching involuntarily. A tear formed and she grinned; definitely the best gift ever. “So… when you least expect it?” She licked him with the tip of her tongue. “Or right now when you’re driving me so crazy I just want to tease you and poke you to get as muuuuch precome as I possibly can to lick and lick and lick—”

She restarted licking his tip in broad tongue laps until she couldn’t help herself anymore. Suckling his tip was relaxing of sorts, especially when he started squirming. The squirming was because she kept swirling her tongue and squeezing him, and she almost chuckled.

But she only did when he whined something in Korean. Then, she gave him a moment to breathe and readjusted herself, right before she put him in her mouth as far as she could reach and sucked. Slowly, she started bobbing her head again, keeping him on the threshold before gagging and breathing in between. The way he fucked her mouth during her orgasm a year ago came to mind, and she rolled her hips to help with the pleasure. He was so good; she got lost in the feeling and mismatched her breathing. She almost choked and had to pull him out. The red glistening cock stayed close, and she chuckled while she recovered her breath.

“So good,” she praised, jerking off the sweet, abused shaft. He groaned something she didn’t get. “What was that?”

“I—” He gripped the sheets and tried to stop his legs from squirming. “Just nonsense.”

She hummed and nuzzled his cock. “Sexy nonsense in a language I can’t understand…”

He almost hissed when her grip became firmer, nearly squishing the groans out of him. “Why sexy—”

“It comes from you, what else can it be?”

He grunted; he couldn’t breathe. “You drive me crazy. Fuck— it’s all it is.”

“Yeah? Think I can get you there?”

He scoffed and reached to touch the back of her hips again. “As if you don’t know you did multiple times already.”

She chuckled darkly before putting him in her mouth again and licking the tip inside her mouth like a lollipop. “You know I like to hear it.”

“I do…”

“So tell me what you want.”

She stopped now to talk and take her time, but he got impatient. “I want you to keep going,” he said.

“Dirty, Namjoon.” Her tone left no space for interpretation. “Tell me what you want.”

He cursed something under his breath; she didn’t need to know Korean to know that, and she sighed. She had time, they had time. She leaned forward to lick and nibble his inner thighs, humming approvingly when he followed her with his hands, kneading her asscheeks so he could see her glistening cunt better.

“I want you to— to put my dick back inside your mouth and do that thing with your tongue—” he instantly moaned as she did what he asked. “Now up and d—” She bobbed her head slowly, and he groaned, fingers sinking into her hips. He was burning and sweating, it was so good. He was almost there. “Can I—” His breath caught, and he let his head fall back for a moment. “I want you to sit while you do it.”

She tried sitting better on his chest, stopping her sweet grinding, but that was not what he meant. His hands gripped her hips firmly and dragged her back until she could connect with his mouth. Both instantly groaned, but she took it the hardest. His mouth on her again was so good, so much better than a scrap of friction on his chest. Now, she didn’t even need to roll her hips, he was rocking her over his mouth and eating her as if he were starved, making her moan deeply despite his cock in her mouth. Instantly, she relaxed and let him have everything, and he took it all. He rutted into her mouth as he pressed her to his face, gripping her asscheeks, and in seconds he was coming. He groaned desperately inside her while she swallowed every warm spurt of cum he fucked into her mouth.

Then, he lost all strength and fell limp on the mattress, puffing quick breaths to appease his rushing heart. She could only chuckle as she laid back by his side.

“Your favorite place is still the same.”

She leaned to peck all across his chest, going over his clavicles to his neck all while he recovered. She only pulled back when he reached to cup her cheeks and look at her. His sweat was glistening over his forehead and upper lip, mixing with her wetness there, and she smirked, proud of herself. She let herself fall over him and press his lips, which he welcomed wholeheartedly. He brushed her blonde hair back and embraced her closer, tastes and smells mixing in a way he could only ever reminisce about before. 

She gave him one last peck and then nuzzled him once before resting her head on his chest. She was tired but definitely not spent yet.

His breathing was calmer now as he rubbed his nose into her hair. “You have no idea how many times I thought of doing that.”

His whisper fell like a secret confession, so she kept her voice low too, “Yeah?”

“Yeah… you riding me or sitting on my face are… my go-tos.”

She pulled away, surprised to find him still blushing, his eyes half-squinted in embarrassment. She tilted her head. “They are?” He nodded, his expression expectant. She just blinked. “Well, don't worry; the feeling is mutual.”

“You don't have to say it just because I did.” He smiled, and it looked polite.

She instantly frowned; he was repeating her words from before. “Are you kidding? Being with you is at least half the reason I cum when I fantasize. Just you and how exciting it is. How good it is. And still is.”

He leaned in to join their foreheads, and she felt incredibly held and connected. Just like once upon a time.

Suddenly, it dawned on her where she was and who she was with.

“I never thought I'd say that to you,” she confessed.

“I’m glad you did.”

Her eyes focused on his soothed expression. When he opened his eyes, her heart skipped. Those gorgeous dark eyes made her legs weak as they brushed against him when he moved under her.

She looked down, her heart fluttering in a way she couldn’t justify, and he kissed her forehead through a gap in her bangs. He stayed, pressing his lips adoringly to her skin, and she tried not to get wrapped up.

“So you thought of me to cum, same as me…” she wondered, and he hummed. “I have no idea what to make of that.”

He pulled away to speak, and her head immediately fell back on his chest. “Do we have to? Make something of it?” She stayed quiet, listening to his heartbeat. “Or can we just stay like this and enjoy being together again?”

She smiled — right. They both knew what being there meant.

She looked up at him. “I do want to enjoy being with you.” Her hand roamed his firm shoulder, and she bit her bottom lip. “Now, before, you said something about stamina.”

“I did.” His eyes dropped to her lips.

“So you should have plenty of energy, right?”

“I mean… I can go at it for a long time.”

She smirked. “At it, huh? A long time? What does that mean?”

He smiled, knowing she was totally giving his words other meanings. “Well, a concert can take up to three hours.”

“Of dancing and singing?”

“Not constantly—”

“But for a long time!” Her tone was playful as she got on top of him. “I would like to enjoy you in full, but before you mentioned that me riding you was your go-to, and you know me.”

“You always want many things.” He smiled, feeling fuzzy with their familiarity.

“And you should take responsibility for driving me crazy like this,” she said wantonly, about to sit on him but pulling away quickly.

He noticed it, of course. “Where’s my wallet? I should have a condom there.”

She was already getting up. “Don’t worry about it.” She went into the bathroom to grab her essentials bag and returned with a row of them. “Ever since I met you, I always have them in my bag.”

“Good to know I’m a positive influence.”

She hopped back on the bed. “Just seeing that it led to this moment, I’m happy to agree with you.” She tore a wrapper open and put it on him while she mused, “Now, where were we?”

She pumped him to be fully hard again, and he sighed. “I don’t know. Something about me taking responsibility for driving you crazy.”

She grinned. “Right, because I want so many things. And you have so much stamina now.” Her hand was quickening because she was getting excited, but then she remembered that he preferred it firm and slow. “And we don’t even have to squeeze it all into two days this time,” she purred, sitting on his hardened cock with a mischievous smile.

“Tell me what you want,” his tone was gentle as he traced her arms. Just like before, she would ask, and he would make it happen.

“I want to ride you,” she breathed, with dark, lustful eyes set on him. Her hips started their sweet slow dance on him, just grinding her sex on his hard cock, and she focused, looking for all the little hints of how that was making him feel. “I want to remind you why it’s your go-to.”

His cock twitched under her, and he smiled and pulled his hair back right before looking to support her again. “Please.” Her tongue teased her lips as her hips kept moving, grinding their sexes, and his eyes fixed on her glistening mouth. “Fuck, I want you so bad.”

She smiled and leaned in so her lips could peck his sweet cheeks. “And you’ll have me. I’ll make all your dreams come true tonight, hm?”

He hugged her, eyes closed as she infiltrated every nook and cranny of his mind. “Yes, but we’re not dreaming.” He grabbed her head and whispered, “Gonna really have you again.”

Her cheeks burned under his hands. “You are.”

She reached between their bodies to grab him and finally align him with her entrance. She was wet and turned on, and still, it burned to have him stretching and pushing inside her. She bit her lip hard, sitting better to make sure she felt every millimeter of him inside her, and then opened her eyes. He looked just as fucked out, and she was reminded why riding him was absolutely blissful.

“Not gonna ask you— When’s the last time you had— a cunt this good riding you cause— fuck— I know that was me.” He was gripping her hips, and she smiled, looking down at where his cock disappeared inside her. The sight alone made her clench. “Fuck, I’m gonna milk you so right—”

A moan pitched her voice as she rode him, and she noticed he wasn’t looking at her. He looked focused, almost tortured as his fingers dug into her skin and his hard cock hit all the right spots.

“Look at me,” she asked, sensual voice charming him instantly. Her cheeks were flushed as she smiled and rolled her hips, tits bouncing with every movement. “Come here,” she said and grabbed his hands to place them over her chest. She moaned when he pressed her nipples. “You’re so fucking good—”

He groaned and instantly tried stopping her hips. “Wait—”

He looked frightfully on edge, so she stopped. “Namjoon, baby,” she mewled, pouting. “What’s wrong?”

He relaxed back into the pillow and recovered his breath. “Shit.”

“No, no. Say it.”

Her tone was so playful that he opened his eyes, and finally saw it. He blew the hair out of his eyes. “You know—”

“I know, and you know,” she interrupted, looking down at his body like she wanted to eat him up. “And if you want me to ride your cock to cum inside this pussy just like you dreamt of, you’ll say it just for me to hear.”

His eyes sparked. “I did miss that sassy mouth.”

“All yours,” she cooed, reaching for his hand to kiss it. “We’re not dreaming.”

He was so happy they weren’t. “You feel so good I almost burst.”

She smirked. “I never get tired of hearing that.”

She kissed his hand again and restarted moving. It didn’t take long for him to look the same way as before, and she bit her lip, loving that sexy and fucked-out look on him. She dragged his hands along her body again, reaching her chest to make him give it some love.

He instantly pinched her nipples, and she moaned. His reaction — closing his eyes again — got her riled up.

“All that stamina… and you get this weak so easy?” She was not stopping; with every move, she felt him deeper and deeper. There was no way she was stopping. “What is it?” She asked when he gave her a look that bordered on frustration. “Don't like it?”

“I do.”

“Good,” she sighed, breath hitching. “Then where's all that energy gone?” He squeezed her tits, and she giggled. “Ah… Could it be… me?”

“It’s definitely you,” he mumbled, legs opening to reach even deeper inside her.

She moaned louder, and her mask finally broke; she leaned forward and kissed him. Her fingers gripped his hair as her anxious tongue reached for his taste, so inebriated she was no longer thinking. 

Her mouth escaped to kiss his neck. “So good— I want your cum so bad.”

“I'll give it to you,” his voice was a whisper as he held her.

“I'm close,” she whined, teeth grazing his skin.

“Me too.” He kissed her shoulder, hands lowering to her ass to help her go faster.

“Come with me, okay?” She was clenching hard, and she knew she'd pop any second. “You have to fill me up right.”

She had no idea what she was saying anymore, only that the tension in her lower stomach was about to snap. She sat up to have the perfect angle and look at the man she was fucking, straight out of her dreams, when he caught her hand. His mouth was agape, dark hooded eyes focused on her while sweat covered his face and neck. She knew because he dragged her hand over his hot chest to wrap around his neck, and her eyes jumped back up. She couldn’t help the rush inside her; he looked so fucking hot under her hand like that while she rode him for everything he had.

He returned her gaze, keeping her hand exactly where it was.

“You're so good— Give it to me—” her moan was breathy as her nails sank into his supple skin. “I want it— Give it to me.”

His eyebrows puckered, and he groaned something she didn't understand, but no words were needed. She felt him twitch inside her with the start of his orgasm and that sparked her up. Her pleasure bubbled around him, pressing and clenching around his length in successive orgasmic waves that left her adrift.

When the pleasure dissipated from her nerve ends, she finally took a breath and looked down. Her hand was perhaps a bit too tight around his throat. 

“Oh, sorry. Did I hurt you?”

He grabbed her retracting hand and kissed it. “No.”

His touch was gentle, thumb caressing her leg while they recovered their breath. She instantly smiled, then leaned in to glue their bodies together and kiss him again and again.

Next chapter >

[cameoliob]

what are your headcanons for kallus and jovan? how did they get together? who fell first and whose heart broke first? do they still hate each other when kallus joins the rebellion or do they simply act like the pettiest bitches towards each other? enquiring minds want to know

ANON THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT THIS IVE BEEN WAAIITTTIINNNGG

Before I get into this I have to legally preface that 1. I’m a Kallus from the lower levels truther + I operate off the assumption that he does not have any family and that plays a decent role in what's going on 2. We dont know alot about Jovans personality so I lowkey just go off vibes but in my brain, teenage him is starry-eyed, a little naive, but SO kind. Older him is a little bit of a douche (not terrible, just the kind of guy that you have to scoff at whenever they talk too much). 

Okay I have a whole headcannoned timeline so im gonna lay this out for u

It's 19 BBY, the empire just started enlisting and all the rich Coruscanti kids are FIGHTING for a chance to go to the academy because “wow that sounds so much more fun than regular university.” Jovan is a part of this demographic. 

So you’ve got this whole class of rich kids doing rich kid things, and Jovan is having a great time; it’s the fourth week of school, he’s found his friend group, he gets along great with his bunk mates, everything is fantastic.

Except theres just this one… fucking guy…

This guy is in, like, half of Jovans classes and Jovan just can’t stop thinking about him because where in stars name did this skinny, scrappy, snappy, kid with a gnarly side eye come from???? Why is he so sickly looking???? And so mean????

And Jovan’s always been a curious guy, he wants to figure out what this guy’s deal is so he, of course, takes it upon himself to befriend this Edward Cullen looking ass dude. Easier said than done; Jovan finds out very quickly that Kallus does not trust easily and it takes at least three weeks of Jovan forcing his friendship on him (inviting him to sit with him in the mess hall, offering to help with assignments, sitting next to him in class, ect.) for Kallus to hold a full conversation with him. 

From there, though, it gets easier. Turns out that Kallus is, quite possibly, the coolest guy Jovan has ever met. He doesn't gaf about what people think about him, he’s gotten into fist fights before (real ones, not sparring!), he fucking parties, he fucks, he can hotwire a speeder, he’s so naturally smart, and cunning, and resourceful– Jovan is completely entranced by this guy. 

^^^(completely entranced by this guy.. I never said Jovan had good taste)

In the meantime, Jovan helps Kallus out with some of the pre-req classes needed for their first year, because as cool as he is, Kallus is not good at physics. 

By the end of their first year at the Academy, Jovan and Kallus become very close. It’s that kind of friendship between guys that, if you saw it from an outsider's perspective, you’d be like, “oh… are they..?? Do they..????? What???” but tbh they don't even think about it because they’re too busy being stupid

Now, the imps do NOT like taking days off, BUUUUT all those rich families donating to the academy do, so I imagine that– at least in the first few years of the empire– the academy had a short, 3 or so week long summer break. 

So we get to break, and Kallus is like “oh wait, I don’t have anywhere to go over break, guess I’ll just rough it out on the streets for a few weeks ig. Nothing new tbh.” And Jovan is like, “What???? No???? You’re not doing that????” and Jovan invites Kallus to tag along on his family vacation (idk where they go, maybe like Naboo or smth, I didn't think that far). Kallus obviously accepts. 

So they go on this vacation, and Jovan is thinking to himself, Waiiiiiittttt a minute………. I actually have wanted him so bad for like 3 months. Maybe it was a bad idea to invite him, like I’m gonna blow my cover fuckuckufckufcjukcf.  But he’s like not trying to do anything about it because he’s all nervous. But THEN, last week of vacation Kallus is like. “I actually think that you should let me kiss u on the mouth.” and Jovan is like “okay bbg say less.” (Jovan fell first if that wasn’t clear)

(This situation is about to get ALOT gayer)^^^

AND THEN THE BREAKUP

They graduated the academy a year prior, Kallus has been doing his ISB training, Jovan has been doing whatever tf you do to become a lieutenant. They’ve been together for four-ish years atp. 

Kallus is SO locked in with his ISB training. Like he was a dedicated student before (he was top of his class for a reason), but this is borderline obsession. He’s never home, always working, always tired, ect ect. In the meantime, Jovan is climbing the ranks and he is lowkey kind of power tripping over it. He’s getting kind of entitled, a little passive aggressive, and is not really putting effort in tbh.

So Jovan is all annoyed because Kallus is always at work and he literally just wants to hang out with his boyfriend. Tbh, he thinks that Kallus is getting way too ambitious way too quickly.

And Kallus is all annoyed because Jovan isn’t giving him any good reasons to leave work, in fact, Jovan has been grating his nerves lately because he doesn’t do anything. Jovan isn’t ambitious enough. 

The resentment is BUIILLLDDDIINNNGGG

The night they break up is FUCKING CRAZY, OKAY

Jovan picks a fight because he fucking feels like it and Kallus is not having ANY OF IT. Huge blowout fight ensues; Jovan says something classist or something, Kallus calls him an “entitled, prissy twat,” Jovan tells Kallus with the “you wouldn’t have even graduated without my help,” Kallus fuckinf kicks the wall or something, Jovan starts yelling about the drywall, Kallus is like “okay, fuck you AND your goddamn drywall,” and JUST LEAVES

The next day Jovan comms Kallus like “bbg pleapelaleapsleapsleaplsea I messed up im sorry plzplzpzpzlpzlzpzlzp” and Kallus ignores the hell out of him. 

Kallus is pissed because tbh if things just went better, he honest-to-god would have married that man, but noOOOooOOooO, Jovan had to be STUPID

AND THEN SIXTEEN YEARS LATER KALLUS ARRESTS THAT HO and he is SOOOO HAPPY ABOUT IT

But then Jovan shows up in the rebellion and Kallus is so annoyed. 

Because for 1. He is kind of prissy and self important and most people would agree with that 2. No way they ended up in the same place after 18 years, that is so bs, and 3. It’s so awkward that Jovan has all of this info about who Kallus was growing up, and the life he lived before going into the ISB– in fact, he probably knows more than anyone in the Ghost crew just because he was there– and that is so mortifying

Jovan is so stoked

Because for 1. Kallus did all that work in the ISB only to end up a rebel anyways and that is hilarious 2. He has so much mildly embarrassing material about him in his back pocket. But tbh it’s kind of bittersweet for him because Kallus is his One that got away (He was planning on going RING SHOPPING, and then he got BROKEN UP WITH, what the FUCK) and he always reasoned with it by thinking that Kallus was irrevocably changed by the empire, and the Kallus he fell in love with wasn’t going to come back. BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT THAT HE IS BACK– yeah, he’s got a beard now, and he pretends to be all serious, but he’s the same snarky, cunning, side eyeing idiot that he fell for. And he knows he can't have him because that train has LEFT THE STATION

^^(This art is old so its a little jank but shhhhhhhhh, its the vibes that matter)

So he obviously deals with this by selling embarrassing pictures of Kallus from their academy years to Sabine, because that’s probably the best revenge he’s going to get.

Kallus is obviously over him, and has been for a LONG time, he just doesn't like Jovans personality, and Jovan kinda wants Kallus back but apparently that's not an option so they do end up creating a dynamic where they are so petty to each other when they get the chance. (Which is not often because the rebellion is big and if they can avoid each other, they will.)

[sugar-crash]

🍬King Candy (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader👑

(Love Language Edition Pt. II!)

(Man the more I think about this song the more it just SCREAMS🔑 King Candy, “I’m that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look! :D”. THAT’S LITERALLY SOMETHING HE’D SAY)

His love language: Quality Time, Gift Receiving, and Words of Affection

Gift Receiving:

- Yeah so, same gist of how it is when he is Turbo, but with some key differences that make the two really contrast.

- More willing to actually give you things for one, and his gifts are nowhere near as subtle as they used to be.

- It’s like he wants his love to be more apparent, have a kind of flair to it that radiates that goofy aura he’s keen to display for Sugar Rush and you especially.

- As mentioned in a previous post, almost everything he gives you is edible… Mostly because Sugar Rush itself is edible, kind of comes with the territory I guess.

- But he also gives you every opportunity to wander Sugar Rush with him if he isn’t too busy being a king, basically almost full access pass with him gently leading you away from places he deems not important enough to see or simply too dangerous.

- Whenever you give him something in private he practically swoons, overwhelming with his reaction to what you give him, especially when it’s from outside of Sugar Rush entirely— Gives him a small glimpse of what’s out there still.

- In private it’s more personal and accurate, thanking you happily before starting up where you left off last night with your shared conversation.

- He’s very good at keeping what you give him out on display for others to see, always ready to brag about how you care about him so much to the point where you consider his likes and interests when you get him something… And it’s like a little red racing kart keychain or something.

- With how defensive he is over the color of the castle walls, claiming they’re salmon and such, I feel he most certainly shared his distaste for the color to you in private—- Meaning if by some miracle (probably Fix-It Felix if y’all are pals) you get him wall paint to fix it… He’s over the fucking moon for it.

- And maybe you guys can make an activity out of it, painting over it bit by bit, getting rid of all that pinkness— Further cementing his place as king in Sugar Rush.

(Tda qnltifbdt rsk lkiy el ql jurd)

[puppetwoman17]

I’ve been wanting to talk about this but I thought it would sound weird and kinda Mary Sue like! Glad to hear that I’m not the only one.

I’m very adamant on Cap being a pillar in not only the magic community(cause of his Champion role obviously) but the hero community as well. He’s well-known for his heroics and impossible stories about battling sentient worms and being diplomatic with alien dinosaurs.

He’s also loved for the advice he gives. All Billy wants to do is bring smiles to these peoples’ days. He dishes out advice like it’s candy and always sees the good in people. He’s great at looking at situations through multiple viewpoints and understanding everyone’s thought processes. This in particular helps with the Superman and Superboy problem. He tells both of them individually that both of their hardships are valid. Clark is allowed to feel violated because his DNA was stolen and mutated in a way that was against his consent. Connor never asked to be created, always wanting Superman’s love but never receiving it.

They reconcile, and Billy doesn’t think much of it, because it’s what anyone would do, right? No biggie. He even does something similar with Red Arrow, convincing him that he’s not just a clone. He’s his own person. He built his own life. He has his own achievements. He shouldn’t feel bad for any of this because none of it was in his control. And Roy is so damn grateful because it feels like a weight has been taken off his shoulders.

Marvel just shrugs. No biggie.

He talks Leaguers through both personal and professional problems and guides them onto a simple, honest path because adults make everything so damn complicated so why can’t you just sit THE FUCK DOWN—

Ahem.

So he helps with that too. No biggie, right? Just another good deed.

He expands his one-way business to other teams too, like the JSA, the YJ team, the Teen Titans, etc. Spends time with each of them, helps them solve their own problems whether they’re big or small.

No biggie, right?

Fucking. Wrong.

The world of heroes absolutely adores him! The other hero teams look to him like he’s the cool uncle. Despite no one knowing jackshit about his personal life, they trust him wholeheartedly. They know he’s got their back.

That’s actually what hurts, tho. Whenever anyone asks him about his life outside the cape, he gets tongue-tied. Panicked. Silent. Doesn’t say a word until a new topic is brought up and then changes wheels like it’s nothing. It hurts, knowing he doesn’t trust them. They know it’s stupid, he never had obligations to tell them anything about the real him, but it stings. Where does he go when he isn’t Cap? Does he have family? A lover? Hobbies? Pets? Why is he like a brick wall with them? Did they do something wrong?

Things get especially annoying when characters like Booster Gold(from the future) and Doctor Fate(Lord of Order, basically on the same pedestal as the Champion) know his identity and don’t even bother to hide that fact. Leaguers will frequently catch Booster making knowing jabs at the Captain, winking and saying strange things that get the Captain riled up and shaking his head profusely. Nabu is no help either, with Leaguers catching him and Marvel quietly conversing. When someone, say, Barry, shows up, Marvel stops talking.

It fucking hurts. A lot. And Billy doesn’t even notice the looks of jealousy cast at his future teammate and fellow Lord by his coworkers. The YJ team is not taking that shit because that is their den dad. Diana doesn’t appreciate that these strangers know more about her brother than she does. Flash is all confused and slightly annoyed because when are they gonna play another prank on Hal? Is he just gonna keep talking to those weirdos all day? And the next?

Billy’s honestly just happy to be here. He never thought he’d get past the age of ten, so doing all of this, helping these heroes while learning more about himself, is just great. He’s speedrunning his way through every moody, self-righteous, hurt, traumatized hero with no sweat on his back.

So yeah, he is beloved and he doesn’t even know it. You betcha that when Cap’s identity is revealed, everyone goes full mama bear/papa bear/protective older brother or sister on him. No way is he leaving without supervision.

Nabu and Booster are rolling their eyes cause hello? That’s the Champion of Magic. If anything, he’s the one they should be worried about.

Yeah, they are politely asked to leave after that. Anyhow Billy, wanna go get some hot chocolate 😘😍

Excuse the word vomit.

[sphacelating]

I wonder about Ashley going on that date. Andrew's attempts to escape Ashley - though futile and destructive - are certainly on display. But Ashley has hardly ever shown any interest in escaping Andrew in the same way, so it stands out a bit.

Maybe she didn't fully realize her feelings for Andrew until that conversation they had on the aniversary of Nina's death.

i don’t see it as any attempt on her part to escape andrew, just make the codependency more bearable for her. she doesn’t care to seek out the company of people who aren’t him, it feels pointless and unfulfilling to her at best and a sanity-draining kind of annoying at worst, but ashley’s life when it’s centered wholly and exclusively around andrew, who is all she has while he has a social life outside of her, is unbearably lonely. when she can’t have the constant attention and affection from the one person she wants and needs it from, she makes depressing attempts to find empty, dissatisfying placeholders. she doesn’t reduce them to that, she wishes she could like them, but they’re reduced to that simply because they’re not andrew. it isn’t easy, it’s fucking depressing, her frustration just keeps mounting, but she certainly tries here as andrew leaves her no choice.

she’s also a teenage girl. she repeatedly shows that she cares extremely little for societal expectations, fuck it, whatever, everyone already hates me and already thinks i’m weird and off putting anyway, but the boy-crazy girls she’s surrounded by are annoying her and if she goes on this date with douchebag, hopefully they’ll shut up about it.

i don’t think she recognizes what her feelings are for andrew aside from impossibly deep attachment, and that towards anyone and everyone else, she feels apathy. to her this “love” is that all her love is reserved only for him, he’s the only recipient and mirror she can put that love into. one of the main differences between the two siblings is that ashley perceives andrew as her brother first and foremost, potential possible future lover second, though she has not reached a point in her growth from kid to adult where she desires a shift in their relationship to include a full romantic aspect. even if i firmly believe she desires him romantically, she doesn’t recognize that as a distinct emotion separate from her desire for andrew to simply be her everything forever and ever until they die and share a coffin. even less sexually, because that will first require growing into adult sexuality and developing sexual desires— interest in that kind of physical intimacy. she is not there yet.

andrew, on the flip side, has prominent and strong sexual desires, and he views ashley as the object of his romantic and sexual attraction first and sister second. this causes his totally unnavigable mental and emotional conflict— he stopped seeing her as his sister as his incestuous feelings for her developed, and viewed her instead as a girl he wants to date and fuck, so intensely it became obsessive. to him, mentally and emotionally, in order for them to be romantic partners, they have to stop being siblings in any manner past being related by blood. again, this circles back to him simply growing up first and understanding what those desires mean.

until ashley stops being his sister, his responsibility, leyley whom he parents, he’ll always feel desire and equal disgust towards his feelings for her. ashley stubbornly insists on them staying that way, vehemently pushing to have his perception of her return to that, andy and leyley, brother and sister, and it clashes horribly with how he actually perceives her. to him, she’s been a teenage girl (roughly) his age and now a woman. one that he really, really, desperately wants to be sexually intimate with. i’d say his disgust stems more from that he is utterly repulsed by the idea of dating and having sex with a child.

this is also why he feels so very strongly about the claim that he’d ever prey on his baby sister.

this actually hurts and offends him. it’s clear as day again as he’s holding his sister’s body in the “don’t shoot andrew” ending, as that is leyley’s body.

the implication being: if this was ashley, he’d have no issue at all with putting his dick in her still warm corpse so he could finally have her at least once before he slits his own throat. (well. sure, what the hell. cheers to the sick and disturbed).

back to ashley. the prospect of andrew having a girlfriend or wife who is not her is extremely distressing to her, it would mean parting from andrew and having someone else enter his life to be more important than her, replace her, take him away, and this is obviously utterly unthinkable. so she has to be that person as well, it has to be her and no one else. and with where they’re at in the present day, it cannot be some day or eventually. she recognizes that she needs to fill those shoes now, or she’s terrified that andrew will leave.

she is wholly dependent on one person, andrew, to meet every aspect of her wants and needs, and then she will have to meet all of andrew’s. which she desperately wants to— she wants to be his everything the same way she wants him to be her everything. the issue isn’t that she doesn’t want to be andrew’s girlfriend, wife, conceptually. it is that she hasn’t grown into her sexuality yet and still, as just his sister, clumsily embraces what she thinks being a good girlfriend or wife to andrew entails.

she does this while completely lacking the necessary maturity and experience (more accurately, true curiosity about gaining that experience) to share an adult relationship with him. she participates to the extent of her ability before growing into any fully developed desire to be romantically and sexually intimate. naturally, this is an uncomfortable and scarring experience for her rather than enjoyable, as she’s very immature for her age, she’s not outgrown her metaphorical kid shoes and grown into her adult shoes, while her brother has been mature for his age his whole life and outgrew his years ago.

andrew needs her to grow up so that he can share a life with the woman he loves, and ashley needs to grow up to understand what wanting that beyond a doubt even feels like.

[princessbrunette]

https://www.tumblr.com/princessbrunette/738865892895735808/i-love-the-idea-of-the-innocent-reader-but-with?source=share

I’m here for the drama so

imagine if one of the people JJ and John B were talking about you to snitches to you and makes it seem like they’re both just using you to “do dirty things to you” and that they don’t actually like you or think of you as a friend😭

and even though your pure ass brain doesn’t have a clear or precise idea of the dirty things they’re talking about you still know what being used is and omg the angssst

and then the next time you’re with them you’re very avoidant and subtly snappier and they’re both very taken aback because what happened to their sweet little girl like :(

Eventually you can’t keep ignoring them and being closed off because it’s just not your nature and you end up bursting into tears and angrily warbling to them about it all after they try to confront you about your unusual attitude towards them for the millionth time😩

idk what’s wrong with me I’m just in a silly goofy mood tonight woopsie

-🌙

ohhhhhh the angst.

᧔o᧓⊹ ࣪ ˖

no because a close friend of theirs wouldn’t stir things up like that, they understand — it’s just conversation between dudes, they’ve all been there… no, it would be that the conversation was overheard, somewhere by the docks whilst an outsider was preparing their boat… perhaps, rafe cameron.

he’s never bothered with you in the past. he’s a bad guy, but he’s self aware enough to know you’re actually innocent and not causing anyone harm, so you pose as no threat to him. he’s not going to just pick on random naive girls, even he knew he was too grown for that. you were super pretty though, and he’d always taken a bit of intrigue in you, wondering why you hung out with those lower-class dirtbags. he figured trying anything with you would be useless, jj and john b feeding you lies about the ‘big bad rafe’ enough to keep you glued to their side and docile. that was, until he had a leg up.

the hulking 6’4 cameron approaches you when you’re at the juice bar by the water all alone one day, spotting you on the rare occasion that you’re by yourself. he sidles up to your side, smiling down at you. “hi there.”

you turn, blinking up at him as you take your juice from the cashier, eyes wide and frightened like a baby deer. it made rafes dick jump a little.

“hi?”

“y’know i uh— usually know not to bother you, know you probably heard some pretty not nice things about me n’i’d hate to just… scare you, or something…” he begins, a small crease forming between his brows as he scratches his cheek. you listen to him, sucking your juice through the straw, waiting for him to get to the point.

“i just overheard something… and i think you might wanna know, i mean— if someone was talkin’ about me like this, i’d definitely wanna know.” he touches his chest, staring into your eyes with wide innocent eyes, trustworthy almost. you tilt your head.

“what happened?”

“that john b, and jj… they’re… well, i heard them talkin’…” he stares off at the water, shaking his head like he’s trying to remember the details despite knowing exactly what he’s gonna say. “braggin’ to some other pogue about you… something about how…” he leans in closer, talking quieter as you hang onto every word, straw still caught between your lips. “how bad they wanna fuck you… take that innocence from you…” he acts scandalised and your eyes widen, looking around to see if anyone heard. only they knew you were still a virgin. well, so you thought.

“and look, me personally…” he leans back, holding his hands up in the air. “i just wouldn’t wanna be disrespected like that, you— you’re a young n’dignified woman… shouldn’t let those pogues take that from you, a’ight?”

“it can’t… you must’ve overheard wrong.” you shake your head, brows furrowed, in denial despite that bad feeling in your stomach.

“and what would i gain from randomly making this up, hm?” he tilts his head like you’re dumb before shaking his head, stepping back. “just thought i’d let you know. you have a good day, alright beautiful? i’ll see you around.” and with that he’s striding away, leaving you dumbfound. he figured soon enough you’d find out the truth and come running right into his arms.

you head back to the chateau slowly, deep in thought. you think back on all the interactions you have with the two boys, how touchy they were, the laughs they share when they say certain things you don’t understand. you hated that rafe was right, and it was starting to make sense.

by the time you reach the chateau, you’re in a foul mood. just seeing the two boys there lounging on the couch filled you with emotion. knowing you’d usually go and unknowingly plant yourself between the two of you them and get touched affectionately almost everywhere. you head straight past them to the kitchen, figuring you’d make yourself a sandwich and then go back to your own house for a while.

the boys heads follow you, smiles faltering a little as they watch you uncharacteristically head through the house without even saying hi.

“uh, hello to you too, doll.” jj hops off the back of the couch, following you through to the kitchen where you grumpily pulled bread out of the bread bin.

“how you doin’, pup? you were gone awhile…” john b is close behind, leaning against a table as he observes the back of you.

“m’fine. was at the juice bar.” you deadpan, fumbling the butter knife slightly as you angrily butter the bread.

the two of them sense the tension and share a glance, jj piping up again trying to ease the mood.

“yeah? didn’t bring anything back for papa j?” he chuckles uneasily, and you’re quick to bark a response.

“no. i was busy talking to rafe.”

the atmosphere in the room suddenly changes, john b standing up straight as he looks to jj. “r—rafe? why were you talking to rafe? he’s a lunatic.”

“is he?” you tilt your head, feeling yourself get more mad. they were still just staring at the back of you, wondering what has occurred.

“uh, yeah— are we forgetting his unprovoked attacks on us, orrr when he tried to drown his own sister? i mean the dude is balls to the wall insane, kiddo—”

“well he actually seemed kind of truthful, which apparently is harder to come by than i thought.” you let the knife clatter down on the side, resting your hands against the counter as you give up on the sandwich completely. you hear john b carefully step closer.

“whats going on, sweetheart…”

you turn around, and they’re met with your quivering lip, two streaks of tears down your cheeks as you angrily sniff. jj goes to step closer to comfort you but you hold out an accusatory finger, stopping them both in their tracks. “he heard you! he— he told me about you two. what you said— what you plan to do to me… you’re just using me aren’t you? just wanna get my pants off when— when all this time i thought we were friends!” you warble, letting out sad sob, the both of them shrinking a little in guilt.

“hey, let’s just talk about this okay?” john b requests calmly, his hands held up infront of him trying to ease you.

“oh i am gonna kill rafe cameron.” jj grits his teeth, beginning to pace, john n instantly striking out an arm to try and keep him cool, the freak out not needed.

“jj. let’s just… deal with this okay— yes, we might’ve said some gross things. we’re— we’re stupid guys and we do stupid things like think with our dicks and — and that’s wrong okay. i fully hold my hands up. if you wanna leave, i understand. but i need you to know, we really, really do care about you. okay? hey—” he comes closer and you let him this time, letting him fuss over you and wipe your tears. “have we ever tried to make you do anything you don’t wanna do?” his eyes are wide, desperate even.

“…no, but… i just didn’t know… you know i don’t know about that kinda stuff.”

“i know, i know okay and we took advantage of that. which is wrong.” he reaches his arm back, smacking jj blindly who’s rubbing his nose bridge with his fingers, making him jump a little. “jj…” john b attracts his attention, trying to get him to help.

the blonde approaches with a sigh, taking your chin between his fingers and gently tugging your gaze to him. “look at me, ‘kay? i’m a total fuck up, i mean everyone knows that but i am really royally fuckin’ up here. you know i really hate that you just willingly listened to rafe, but he… god, can’t believe i’m sayin’ this— he wasn’t lying. we did kinda brag about you. but look at you, you’re fuckin’ gorgeous, okay? doesnt make it right— but that’s why. we like you, like actually like you and i swear, swear on my mamas life we are not using you.”

there’s a pause in the air, before john b speaks. “you don’t even know your mom.”

“yeah well the point still stands.”

you sigh, unable to deny the two boys you love. you had to admit, you’d felt things down below for them before, wondering what the feeling was and whether or not they’d help you explore it, so you guess you couldn’t really judge them for feeling that energy too. you shrug, looking at your shoes.

“okay. i believe you.”

you feel the both of them relax, nodding as they crowd your space, john b at your front and jj at your back. “we love you, puppy. like actually. not gonna let anything happen to you, alright?”

“what he said.” jj repeats, hands tucking themselves into your waistband, something he usually did when he said his hands were ‘cold’. you slap his hands and he removes them quickly, nodding. “yep, too soon— got it.”

᧔o᧓⊹ ࣪ ˖

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

(im)perfectionist

vinny hong x jo!reader

jay jo's imperfectionist sister meets the flawful vinny hong.

part 8

part 7 | part 9

part warnings: fem!reader, jo!reader (jay is reader's 1 year older brother, but they're in the same class), second person's pov (you, you're, your), wb main story SPOILERS

—

“The fuck is wrong with you?!” Vinny kept spewing strings of curses while holding Sung by the back of his shirt’s collar. He was fuming mad. Furious.

“Ow, Ow! That hurts! I’m sorry! Let go of me already!” Sung, despite being held roughly, still had the balls to unremorsefully laugh at Vinny's pissed face, even enjoying angering him more. “It’s because you move too slow! I’m getting impatient, just talk to her already!” 

“I swear I’m gonna wring your neck–”

Sung released himself from Vinny’s hold on the back of his shirt’s collar by force, and once again saw it as an opportunity to escape and dash outside in the hallway. Now they’ve caught other students’ attention because of the commotion they’re making.

“You little shit, come back here, motherfucker!” Vinny chased his friend down the hall paying no mind to the stares they got and people they bumped into.

After a while, the two eventually got tired from all the running. Panting and sweaty, Sung slid down the wall near the classroom window. Vinny held his knees and fell beside him. When Sung turned to his friend he let out another breathy laugh.

“Not a word.” Vinny hissed to warn him to shut his up. His nose was almost fuming smoke from anger, and at the same time exhaustion. 

The reason for their little immature chasedown? Well… Vinny went out to get some fresh air for a while near the end of the class. And Sung, being Sung, suddenly decided it was a good idea to get ahold of his friend’s phone that was left unattended on his table to suggestively text you by the number he got from Minu’s phone.

“What? I did you a favor y’know. You can just deny you sent the text and she’ll believe you, obviously nobody would believe you’d text like that! You’ll have your first conversation through text.” Sung bowed his head while still catching his breath.

“You fucking–” Vinny cursed under his breath and decided to leave it. He was already tired from their little chasedown, he can’t hide Sung’s body if he murders him now. “I’m not interested in her. And I told you, she’s not one to fool around with.”

“I know that, but really? Nobody will settle with just friends after all that. I mean a girlfriend, as in a female friend is always cool, but I just wish you’d have a girlfriend. It’s enough already that I don’t have one, I’m saving you from the same fate.”

“Friends your face.” Vinny was the first to stand up and reach for his backpack, hanging it around one of his shoulders. “Who do you think you are, playing cupid? If you want to fool around you go talk to her yourself. I’m practicing with the crew tomorrow, and I’m giving back her glasses. If everyone else finds out about your little prank, I swear I will drag you all the way from wherever you are and slaughter you in front of everyone.” 

“We’ll see about that,” Once again Sung made it a laughing stock, “I'm still consistent with my prayer so you can finally get a girlfriend. Preferably a medical rookie.” he maliciously mumbled his last words and patted Vinny’s shoulder, prompting Vinny to threaten to hit him again, which Sung dodged before he picked his own bag up and exited the classroom first, his laughter echoing even outside.

—

“What’s that?”

“Calculus.”

Dom, who couldn’t find anyone to talk to, because the others were busy and won’t pay attention to him, squatted in front of you to watch you while you were sitting on the bench, doing your homework.

“Really? Studying? I thought you were here for us?” Dom pouted, you stifled a grin as you realized, Sometimes, Dom really does resemble Jordan. You were here as a bystander to their practice this afternoon.

“I can prioritize both at the same time.” You got back to solving the equation at hand. You need to finish this thing off so you can start writing your resignation letter and the two, or three remaining notes Jay lent you after you skipped school for a week because of your “flu”.

Dom kept watching you with doe eyes, amazed at how quickly you were jumping from one equation to another, his eyes can’t even catch up and follow your hand movements anymore.

You closed your notebook, startling Dom.

“All done.”

“What? That fast?!” Dom looked at you and then your notebook while you stretched your torso. “Can you teach me? Pretty please?”

“Another time. Not in the mood. Just copy mine.” You flung your homework to him, which he caught, great reflexes.

“Sweet! Thanks.” Dom took pictures of your homework. “By the way, have you completed your notes? I think I have the notes you missed during your absence, I can lend them to you as a token of thanks.”

“I'm done with them already. Thanks.” 

After being bedridden for weeks because of the stitches on your back, you were so bored so copied Jay’s notes, which he sent without you having to tell him to. You cannot help your bedriddenness, though. Not when your wound stings and travels from the wound to the back of your legs whenever you stand up even only to go to the bathroom.

“Okay, suit yourself!” 

Dom happily wiggled sitting on the floor and taking pictures of your homework placed flat at the seat of the bench. You left the bench to him and walked towards Jay, who seemed to be zoning out.

“Hey, how’s home these past few days? Is Kay eating well?” 

If there’s something you were worried about back at home, it’s him. You weren't worried much about Jay, you were more worried about Kay. Unlike you and Jay, he’s more vulnerable because he doesn’t know how to operate the stove to cook for himself. So looking out for his health is one of your concerns especially since he’s prone to starving himself to watch cat shows without interruption and forgetting to eat while doing his homework.

“Yeah. He started eating vegetables when you told him cats are attracted to vegetarians.” You laughed, he really believed that. Regardless, you were glad that you made him eat healthy. “He’s starting to overwork himself, though.”

Worry etched on your face, “Why?” 

“Mom keeps telling him she’ll throw Jack away from the house if he slacks off. You know how much he loves Jack.”

You thought hard. You can’t suggest Kay to live with you in the apartment instead. And besides, it’ll be a miracle if your mother ever agrees to that. She’ll see that as you recruiting Kay to rebel against her, too.

“Speaking of mom, is she trying to… patch things up with you?” Jay hesitantly asked. He knows what’s up. Even if he doesn’t show, he’s observant. You know he does.

You didn’t have to ask him what he meant. You knew exactly what he was referring to. You thought hard if you’d tell him the thing about the arranged marriage. The cause of your anger on the night you got stabbed and Vinny found you. You chose not to, come what may. Maybe another time.

“Yeah. Small talks.”

“Oh.” Jay chose not to ask further. He knows you’re not ready to talk about it even after all the years that have passed. He knows you’ll talk about it when you’re ready to talk about it.

Discomfort etched on your face as you remembered that feeling, but you shook your head and shrugged the thought off. You and Jay talked about some other things like snacks and light school stuff, until Mia called Jay to teach her how to bike. Jay excused himself and you got back to your seat on the bench a while ago.

“Okay, time to work on this.”

You began composing your resignation letter, as your Student Body adviser told you to pass your resignation letter within this day for the void to be effective the next day. What a pain. Instead of resting you’ll head back to the school after. You shouldn’t have come here if Vinny won’t show up to give your glasses back. 

Speaking of him though, where the hell is he?

You vividly remember this morning, while you were getting ready for school, he texted you unexpectedly while you were drying your hair with a towel.

—

“Damn it, I still have to write my resignation letter later. I guess I won’t be able to come to Hummingbird’s practice.” you mumbled to yourself. You messaged your Student Council adviser in advance and that's his reply.

Having that new knucklehead President as a replacement for Jay was impactful. Not a good impactful. A bad impactful. You were doing the important paperworks alone because he’s always missing in action, and council work became hectic. Your undereyes were darkening.

You pulled out of your drawer to use some concealer, but you were distracted when your phone beeped.

Angry tomato head: come by later at practice.

Angry tomato head: your glasses.

Well, guess the universe is telling you to come to their practice, after all. You can’t tell him to just hand it to anyone, even Jay. They’re already suspecting something between you and Vinny.

—

“There he is! Over here!” Yuna announced while waving at the redhead.

While dragging his bike, he accidentally laid eyes on you for a second but averted his eyes. He looked mad about something… as usual. He always looks like that. It’s obvious that’s his default face. He looks like a rottweiler practicing his scary face.

Minu immediately called the crew members to practice, so you didn’t get the chance to ask him for what you needed from him, and he was blocked by the others from your sight so he wouldn’t be able to pass through. You can’t interrupt their practice, looks like you’re going to have to stay for a while. Nevermind, you needed a place outside school to write the letter, anyway. You continued writing your resignation letter. 

A few corrections, crumpled paper, scribble, toss. Corrections, crumpled paper, scribble, toss, repeat. Corrections, crumpled paper, scribble, toss, repeat.

Finally, you raised the paper containing your final output, also hearing Minu’s voice in the background yelling, “good work, guys!”. You guess they finished their practice at the same time. You took that long to compose a resignation letter? You folded the paper loosely and sneakily looked for an opportunity to initiate a subtle close proximity as the others including Yuna and Mia. 

You were going to leave to pass your resignation letter, so you must approach Vinny now.

While everyone was busy yapping, you sneaked up behind Vinny—who seemed uninterested in what the crew were talking about, and stood almost beside him. Almost, because although close, not close-close. You lightly nudged Vinny, who didn’t notice you at first. He immediately got the signal and fished out from his jacket’s pocket. 

His hand was so close to discreetly handing over your glasses without a case, not until Dom creeped on the both of you from behind, peeking at the object on your hand. “Hey, why does he have your eyeglasses? Are you not telling us anything?”

Now all eyes were at you two. Even Minu, who was talking about random shit, stopped to look at you two, and Jay. You can tell from their looks that your not so secret transaction raised their suspicions even more than the first time they sensed something going on between you and Vinny.

Now you want to kill Dom.

***

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[bad-surprise]

i find many people in fandom incredibly annoying. that is not a secret and it is not a sin. it is far better, in my opinion, to talk through these feelings privately than to approach said individuals because being annoying is a) not a crime in any way, shape, or form, and b) fully subjective. i am sure other fans find me annoying, and they have every right to talk through their frustrations privately with trusted friends. they also have every right to block whoever they’d like or to share whatever i’ve posted that’s upset them with their friends in order to provide context for their emotions. it might hurt my feelings sometimes and i may not like it, but that doesn’t make it wrong.

as a queer black woman, i find it extremely upsetting when the language of social justice is used in bad faith by those looking to evade accountability for shitty behavior. that is the context of those remarks.

everything i said in that conversation i would state publicly. i didn’t, though, because it seemed pointless at the time. conversation with those involved (not any of the accounts who have centered themselves in this discussion) had already been attempted and the deliberate misrepresentation of events, warping of words, and bad faith tactics that followed rendered the situation hopeless.

fandom is not a monolith. we are allowed to have different opinions on everything, and i really enjoy productive conversations with those who have differing views, so long as they’re rooted in a genuine desire for mutual understanding. people i am friends with are free to be friends with people i dislike, i have never policed that and never will.

i am always open to conversation and will offer clarifications if they’re requested in good faith. i would also point out that the screenshots being shared are very carefully selected excerpts of a broader conversation— it might be wise to ask why those specific quotes (which were poorly worded at times, sure— that makes sense considering that they were part of private conversations between supportive friends who understood each other’s context, values, and intent) were decontextualized and used for this purpose.

initially, this fandom was a very creative place, filled with diversity of thought and opinion, characterized by a sense of curiosity, imagination, and collaboration. the occasional bad actor popped up, yes, and there have always been issues with antis (which i define as those who believe there is a moral component to shipping, though it seems like in this case it is being applied to people who simply have differing opinions about a ship beloved by both parties) and those outside of the fandom who dislike the ship, but generally it was a pleasant space in which to exist alongside others. that has slowly diminished to the extent that it’s now very difficult to find reasons to remain involved. i worry that the point of all this is to push people out, but i also hope that isn’t the case.

there is no right or wrong way to ship sauron and galadriel. there is no right or wrong way to ship, full stop.

i’m so fucking exhausted by this conversation and by the fact that accusations of racism or homophobia in this fandom so often target black and queer individuals, misrepresenting our response to circumstances where our lived experiences are repeatedly decontextualized, devalued, disregarded, or manipulated in the service of something as petty as a ship war. it’s not leftism, it’s not social justice— it’s tone policing as an attempt to stoke moral outrage, and it feels a hell of a lot like an effort to dictate the rules of participation in a ship.

but i genuinely believe there’s enough room here for all of us, including those individuals i personally find disingenuous and/or annoying.

[britcision]

New day new conspiracy to be unhinged about woooooo

SO.

This right here.

The moment where Kabru reveals he’s Milsiril’s baby boy (and more relevantly the last survivor of Utaya)

Kabru telling them that he actually wanted to enlist in the Canaries directly, but couldn’t because of the racial barrier. How true that is……. Well let’s say I’m sure he wanted to when he was little, buuuuut by the time he left it wasn’t that they wouldn’t let him

And tbh the reason why is very much the next panel:

The Canaries learn he’s Milsiril’s little boy and immediately fucking claim him as theirs, asking if he’s been eating well, if he wants cake, telling him to cheer up and smile sometimes

It is notably the convicts, especially Otta and Fleki although Cithis has been leading the conversation; Pattadol is not in frame and Mithrun ruins all their fun by staying on track

Kabru is not 30 seconds out of saying he was raised by their vice commander before he is being babied, and there’s a fun read of just “well this is our child now we must care for him for Milsiril hello new nephew”

But. Given what we later learn Milsiril’s care is actually like. The room where Kabru could eat all the cake that he wanted, that he never ever wanted to return to even when freezing and starving.

Where she gave him such arduous and extensive sword training he thought he would die, with the stated intent of showing him how bad it could be to make him give up and stay with her forever.

“Wanna eat some cake” is suddenly a much darker comment, and doesn’t have a directional bubble, so I’mma pin it on Cithis on general Sketchy Bitch vibes

Now, that only makes sense if these folks know Milsiril directly, or have some way to know what her home life is like for her adoptees

(Or Cithis can read minds which let’s be honest absolutely no one needs to be true but she deserves it)

But. So does that immediate tonal shift

“Oh, you’re Milsiril’s kid. Now we care about you beyond being an interruption.”

We know Pattadol is on her very first mission. We know Cithis has been responsible for Mithrun’s care for long enough while he’s back on active duty that she gets bored of her new doll.

(And that she only started respecting him after they acquired Pattadol, whiiiiich. He got back to active duty 14 years ago. None of the other Canaries got their own timeline, but he’s also had long enough to have an established track record of getting his warden partners killed

When Flamela assigns Cithis to his wellbeing, she pretty clearly knows the extent of his caretaking issues, and this whole section of the timeline is fuzzy, but it is specifically Pattadol who is the first to tempt Cithis into telling Mithrun to hurt her

And specifically not until after he refuses that she begins to respect him)

Milsiril has been retired for the same 14 year period, taking Kabru and for some reason one of her own Canary convicts home with her, but she served with Mithrun when he initially became a Dungeon Lord 40 years pre series… and most of that squad died in Mithrun’s dungeon

(Also his lover became a snake person at some point for some reason sooooo monsterfucker ahoy)

(We know that’s the lover from both Mithrun’s initial vision and his Adventurer’s Bible comic which identifies his brother as the one with the short hair. Presumably they were not always a snake?)

None of the names he gave Kabru in his backstory refer to any of his current party members

Otta and Fleki mention Milsiril in Otta’s comic when teasing Otta about being a pedophile because she only dates halffoot women and breaks up with them when they turn 30

(This being past middle age for halffoots, who become adults at 13 and live to around 50; Chilchuck is 29.

One might expect… say… visible signs of aging to show up around 30. Reminders of how little time they have left. Although, frankly, how much free time does Otta actually have to be dating outside of work???? They’re so shorthanded Mithrun made captain the minute he could serve after Utaya)

Ahem. We digress.

Otta’s reaction (directly saying Milsiril treats shorter lived people like pets while she loves them as individuals, which Kabru Does Not Deny) might be because she’s seen Milsiril’s behaviour directly, or just being sick of the comparison. Hard to say, but Milsiril already doesn’t like elves

No, the conspiracy theory today is that CITHIS in particular has worked with Milsiril between Mithrun being rescued and Utaya’s destruction, possibly with Fleki and Otta

They’re all close to Mithrun’s age so there’s a very real possibility they were serving when Utaya fell, and either were lucky enough not to get sent there (there are so many dungeons in the world) or unlucky enough not to retire in the aftermath

Dumping Mithrun with Milsiril’s survivors makes perfect sense - the two had served together as wardens and Milsiril Barest Possible Minimum took a personal interest in Mithrun returning to duty after Utaya

She’s the one getting him to take his first steps and tells him she’ll get him back in a dungeon

Milsiril, known hater of elves, left the Canaries on good enough terms with her convicts to take one with her (Helki, shown in Mithrun’s story and Kabru’s training flashbacks - the only other survivor we know of from Mithrun’s dungeon)

And these particular convicts immediately brighten up knowing that Kabru is one of Milsiril’s; he’s in a very different position from Mithrun, who basically has direct power over their lives and deaths, but if you have a potentially unstable new captain who’s gonna be extra dependent on his convicts coming in…

Well, it’d be nice if the convicts have a reason beyond “well if both of our wardens die we can’t use magic so we will too” to keep him alive and moving

Note: they did at some point hand him directly over to fucking Cithis, who has an established track record of wrapping her captains around her little finger and doing whatever the fuck she wants anyway

(To the point that she’s left and “rejoined” the Canaries multiple times, and her behaviour with Mithrun is considered her having calmed down… while actively trying to have him hurt his subordinate wardens and plotting to kill Pattadol)

So. Not. Y’know. Convinced that anyone necessarily was thinking that particular assignment through. Although you could argue that they were just heading off the inevitable and letting her know this one is high maintenance

ANYWAY.

Tl;dr: Mithrun’s a monsterfucker, this is established fact and not a conspiracy theory

Kabru’s been adopted by the Canaries the second they know who his mom is, which may explain why no one actually tries to stop him when he grabs Mithrun later despite him not having a weapon

(Fear of Milsiril finding out they’ve hurt her boy > rescuing Mithrun or later even stopping Kabru from helping Laios repeatedly)

And Cithis, Fleki, and possibly Otta worked directly with Milsiril at one point before Utaya, which is why Mithrun was given them specifically - he was one of Milsiril’s projects too, Milsiril’s personal involvement unclear

How much this has to do with Mithrun getting all his warden comrades killed but apparently not his convicts: unclear

(Still bet Cithis “helped” with the warden before Pattadol)

[lottiesprophecy]

I wanna know what exactly was the deal with Charlie x Megan what’s their history???? Because it’s like sister Megan said they’re close friends but the diner scene started off awkward and then Charlie is rejecting her and then teasing her and then they end up fucking??? (Is that supposed to be their first time or have they done it before) And then after Megan got shot he’s all concerned and talked about their trips for wildflowers (how adorable and wholesome is that) and then they turn out to be partners in crime??? Were they partners after the diner talk? Because why else would you be theorising about the murders. Most of this taking place just between them btw and not Lois’s perspective. What. ((((Also I’m ignoring the twist/reveal the priest/nun verse is the real verse))))

HOLY CRAP! I’m so sorry for not answering this sooner! I’ve just noticed this… 🫣

So the whole thing with Megan and Charlie was completely fiction. A dream that Lois conjured up. Lois saw Megan as a nun because in her real life, the life outside of her coma, she saw Megan as a holier-than-thou person. Someone who was perfect and could do no wrong. Lois also saw Megan as the killer because Megan “usurped” Lois (Megan’s word not mine lol) in becoming Chief of Police, thus resulting in Lois retiring. I believe Lois saw it as a way of Megan killing her. Ending her life by ending her long career.

Lois saw Charlie as the killer because she heard what he said while she was in her coma. That whole speech he gave Lois’s husband about how it would be kinder to let her go, how death can be a tool for sweet emancipation. Which Lois was very clearly insulted by, that’s why she was always so cold towards him and immediately accused him trying to literally kill her.

Why she envisioned him as a priest… I’m kinda of confused on that part. I’m guessing since she had envisioned Megan as the nun it might have made sense for her to pair them up together in her dream state. Now how does that explain all the freaky stuff they were doing, especially the priest? My theory is that since Lois could hear Dr Charlie having orgies in her room and she heard the conversation about a doctor impregnating an unconscious patient that information influenced how she/we the viewers saw Father Charlie. As a doctor there’s a code of conduct they must follow, and as a Priest there are vows they have sworn to obey. We see both versions of Charlie going against what they’re both supposed to represent.

As much as I enjoyed the reveal about Megan being the freakin’ Chief of Police and watching her become a badass, I do miss Sister Megan! And I think that Father Charlie was waaay more interesting than Dr Charlie. I was hoping that there would be a relationship between Detective Megan and Dr Charlie, but unfortunately there was not.

I hope Grotesquerie gets a second season and I hope we get some Sister Megan and Father Charlie flashbacks 🤞🏼

[stolasbuckzo]

Hazbin Hotel Headcanons:

- Bee & Angel would be best friends (the common denominator being that they’re both insects and have musical abilities)

- Angel Dust doesn’t know the rest of the Seven Deadly Sins except Asmodeus the King of Lust (cuz go figure 🤭) which is his favourite

<> His least favourite Deadly Sin is Mammon (because he reminds him too much of Valentino)

- Angel & Husk have private conversations in Italian because no one else understands

- Husk has reading glasses (boat-shaped) but refuses to use them 😂

- Anthony (Angel Dust) definitely watched RuPaul’s Drag Race when he was alive

- Emily is actually Charlie’s half sister (staying here until confirmed otherwise 🤭)

- Despite being annoyed with Angel Dust (as a person); Alastor gets taught the “gay language” like ‘that’s the tea' etc

- Angel Dust definitely now sings “Loser, Baby” all the time to himself (like the rest of us 🤣)

- Cherri Bomb feels inferior to Husk because 1. She’s Angel’s best friend first and 2. He stops him from being “fucked up”

- Angel Dust has characteristics of ASD (considering that his personality is based on Alaska Thunderfuck who’s definitely on the spectrum with a combination of Trixie Mattel) and also ADHD

- It was stated that Husk was/is family oriented so I definitely have a hunch that he’d would have a family before he died

- Angel Dust (due to the abuse from Valentino) would have a praise/validation kink with a significant other

- Husk’s room is a representation of Las Vegas and has a poker table (for sure!) and a scratching post to file down his claws 😂

- Angel unofficially dated (?) Valentino before things started going downhill (increasingly fast & really bad)

- Alastor had a passion for dad jokes (and annoys everyone with it 😂)

- Husk was definitely friends with good Bee back when he was an overlord (common denominator being their passion being honesty and authenticity)

- Angel habitually locks his door (even at the Hazbin Hotel) because it makes him feel safer

<> Because of this Husk either respectfully knocks on the door or leaves his gift (a bottle of alcohol) outside

- Frank (one of the Egg Boiz) becomes roommates with Angel after he saved his life in 1x08 🥹

- Angel Dust ironically has arachnophobia 🤣 (AKA “fear of spiders”)

- Husk is a gentleman (more implied than HC) in a 101 ways and definitely would be the “old-fashioned” type

- Alastor forces Husk to keep his “overlord attire” to as a reminder of what he had lost

- Angel Dust’s best feature of his body (canonically implied) is chest however — outside of work — will only let certain people touch it

<> Which kind makes sense since he shows off his chest (proud) but keeps his feet hidden (insecure)

- Charlie and Angel Dust have a sibling relationship (definitely canonically implied) but extended of that she’d ask for his opinion or ask him to do her makeup for a big event or something more significant

- When drunk and angry Angel definitely rambles in Italian but no one else understands (except Husk)

- The Seven Deadly Sins are all best friends (except for Mammon)

- Angel Dust has age regression (which is very common victims who have PTSD)

- Husk always makes gambling idioms ~ ie: “I keep my cards to my chest” (translation: I’m a private person)

- Angel Dustdied on his birthday date which is why he doesn’t like to celebrate it anymore

- The minute Charlie learns that Angel is Italian; she goes out of her way to learn the language (as any good surrogate sibling would 🥹)

- Husk doesn’t enjoy card games that don’t involve gambling (so ie Blackjack which is more about getting the numbers than betting money) but sometimes would do it for fun ~ very rarely though

- Niffty & Charlie are actually huge “Huskerdust” fans and would do anything to get Angel and Husk together

- If Husk ever drank coffee he’d have a short or long black without sugar or milk (which often shows maturity)

- Once Angel Dust is comfortable with someone he’d constantly lay on the dad jokes (especially the 18+ 🏳️‍🌈 fruity 🏳️‍🌈 ones)

- Husk waits up for Angel Dust — whether it be 5 AM in the morning— before packing up the bar

- Every 🩷 motif on Angel Dust are the places he’s most sensitive area (so technically his sweet spots)

- Despite Husk being an alcoholic he has actually has a high tolerance of alcohol and would take a lot to get to that point (something emotional related)

- Husk’s real name is either a “Henry” (most likely), “Huxley” or a “Henrik”

<> Henry means “estate ruler” which I thought made the most sense because he owned a casino at one point 🤔

- Adam admires Angel Dust and his porn videos so much he copied his eyeliner (same shape and everything 🤣)

- Alastor cheated when he challenged Husk to a game of cards (there’s no way he wouldn’t have)

- Husk’s casino is called “The Lucky Cat” (or something like that) which is funny because it’s the opposite of him

- Vaggie mistakes Huskerdust’s flirting (who are clearly dating) as Angel sexually harassing Husk 🤣

- Husk zodiac sign is a Leo ♌️ (🐱)

- Angel definitely teases Husk about his age despite being 12 years younger than him (or supposed to be if he hadn’t died in his 30s)

- Husk hates cats which is why he hates his sinner form so much and hates the animal noises that comes out (particularly when matching with the right mood)

- Niffty definitely “ships” Huskerdust and definitely makes fanfiction about them 🤭

- Angel Dust would definitely get triggered by Alastor if he pulled Husk’s chain in front of him (because it mentally brings the former right back to Valentino again)

- Whenever Cherri Bomb and Husk argue Angel Dust is quick to diffuse the situation (not canon but definitely implied in 1x06 “Welcome to Heaven”)

- Husk can read nonverbals not just because it’s necessary for a bartender but also necessary for a gambler (literally need exceptional body language skills to see if someone is bluffing etc)

- Angel Dust becomes “Anthony” whenever he’s severely intoxicated or drugged up

- Fat Nuggets acts like a emotional support animal which is why Angel Dust doesn’t have the heart to rehome him (despite being gifted by Valentino)

- After watching Princess and the Frog for the umpteenth time Angel officially calls Husk “Shadowman” (IFYKYK 🤭) much to his annoyance 😂

- Husk was a bouncer before he died (he definitely had that “bouncer” energy in episode 1x04)

- Angel Dust doesn’t have Voxflix so he has to sometimes miss RuPaul’s Drag Race (and gets irritable when he has sacrifice missing it 🤣)

- Lucifer brings in the other Deadly Sins to help out with Charlie’s hotel as a side job thing and make them become “teachers” for their respective sins

- Angel Dust’s Italian surname would either be:

<> Romano - (inside joke of his VA’s surname)

<> Soprano - (classic Italian surname 🤣)

<> D'Amico or D'Angelo

- Husk was/is also very good friends with Beelzebub (back when he was overlord) because of their common interest in authenticity and alcoholism 🤭

- When Angel said “Gawd Niff why you being such a mess?!” in 1x06 he was probably quoting off something that Henroin, his father, said to him

- Viv may have based Husk, ironically, on her cat called “Valentino” (minus the wings obviously 😂)

- Angel swore off dating after what happened with Valentino (albeit may potentially think about starting dating again with the right person demon *coughs* — Husk)

- Husk always talks / texts — depending on how Angel feels like doing — until he falls asleep whether doing it via platonically or romantically 🥹

- Angel often catches Husky singing to himself (either “Too Sweet” by Hozier or “Loser Baby” and would watch him for a moment 🤭

<> In other words he enjoys just listening to him sing and watching him be in his own world as he gets more and more into it

- Husk has poker-themed songs on Spotify — who definitely has '60s - '70s music — (but he doesn’t know how to separate them into playlists so he has them in the “Liked Songs” category 🤣)

- Alastor messes with Husk’s Spotify playlist (despite not enjoying technology but likes watching him suffer)

Huskerdust / Anthusker edition:

- Angel is terrified of horror movies (however picks them out regardless for the sake of jumping into Husk’s arms when picking out movies 🤣)

- Husk is definitely “forced” (metaphorically) to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race with Angel Dust and would be the type to get upset if he watched it without him 🤣

- Husk & Angel call each other “baby” and “loser” (affectionately) because it reminds them of their duet

- Fat Nuggets, Frank (post 1x08 🤭), & Niffty are definitely Angel & Husk’s “children” 😂

- Husk due to being the “King of Consent” always fusses about being able to touch Angel even when given the okay 🤣

- Angel goes to Husk’s room whenever he has PTSD / nightmares about Valentino (platonically)

- Husk keeps the “Huskerdust dynamic” with Angel Dust in front of other people; but in private he’s more laidback towards him

- Husk is actually sensual and clingy within the relationship with someone (which is why he’s so emotionless before getting intimate with someone)

- Angel & Husk sing/dance to each other when feeling down to make each other feel better

- Husk definitely watches Angel Dust’s porn movies in private in his spare time (mainly at bedtime where there’s no one around 🤭)

- Angel uses the white noise of Husk’s saxophone to help him sleep (especially after a nightmare about Valentino)

- Husk sings / whistle “Loser, Baby” constantly to himself (and sometimes Angel Dust joins in)

<> Huskerdust have a sort of “pact” that if Angel wants any sort of physical contact with Husk he either has to make the first move or give him a “green light” (because Husk won’t take initiative until allowed )

- Anthony first fell in love with Husk (who fell harder) — since the pilot episode 🤭 — but didn’t know how else how to react so he relied on “Angel Dust’s” personality

- Husk is the “take it slow” type of person (implied) and not the one to always rush into a relationship

- Angel & Husk would definitely go for midnight flights with this soundtrack in the background:

- Husk always gets roped into cuddles & purring (particularly when Angel has one of his rough nights of being SA'd 💔😭)

- Angel is obsessed with Husk’s tonality and gets all sorts of worked up (in a good, sexual way)

- Huskerdust constantly argue about whether Angel should go to Heaven or stay in Hell with Husk ~ which often lead to a heated make out session 🤭

- Angel goes to Husk’s room whenever he has PTSD / nightmares about Valentino (platonically)

<> Husk cuddles Angel — for the umpteenth time — he’s had any sort of nightmare & or PTSD (intimately)

<> Husk’s favourite part of Angel’s body would be his chest and his gold tooth every time he smiled

- Angel always sends acronyms to Husk which irritates the latter in frustration not knowing what it means (ie BAE etc) 🤣

<> Huskerdust would come to an agreement of having an “open relationship” (practically polygamous) due to the fact that Angel Dust is a sex worker & pornstar

- Angel Dust is foreign to lubricants (or if he does know he’s used to it in a very little amounts) and might need a “reintroduction” to a brief sex-ed lesson with the right person

- When in a very drunken state Husk always subconsciously finds himself in front of Angel’s door and knocks on it without thinking 🤭

- Even as Anthony — Angel Dust — will make occasional dirty jokes or sexual innuendos (even in front of Husk) but it’s genuine rather than OTT hypersexuality

- Husk always thinks (internally) that Angel is beautiful every day but really falls hard when he’s just woken up with disheveled hair and no makeup on

Credits to: @a-schmoozer-and-a-dummy

- Even when dating Angel Anthony gets a little anxious about the topic of sex when talking to Husk (and quickly shuts it down)

- Husk always puts planning his dates with Angel 200% effort and goes to great lengths (also always thinking of the best romantic spots to take him)

- Angel always end up falling asleep against Husk’s chest (especially when the purring starts 🤭)

- Post episode 4+ (hopefully gonna happen in S2) Husk lets Angel rest his legs over his lap

Credits to: @huskerdustfanart for giving me this idea

- Angel tries to teach Husk how to use his phone and what certain apps actually do 🤣 (much to his irritation of being able to use it)

- Husk doesn’t like other people sitting on the counter of his bar however will let Angel do it (which is saying a lot in itself 🤭)

Credits to: @triona-tribblescore for giving me this idea

- Angel often suggests Husk to give him a massage after he’s finished working (knowing full well he loves them) which the other always consents to and ends up sighing with absolute satisfaction 🥰

- Huskerdust actually met as humans (since their timeline is roughly within each other) but forgot they met by the time they arrived in Hell — what with being 12 years apart — and chose different names for themselves entirely

- Angel teaches himself how to read non verbals (by being around Husk so much 🤭) and roast people

- Husk loves Angel Dust’s New Yorker accent but enjoys his Italian one even more — even when he rambles in fluent Italian — because he likes to think that was his “real self”

- Huskerdust often do slow dancing together (like Sway with Me or the Tango)

- Despite being a bottom Angel will rarely suggest he becomes a top with Husk once he starts to see the other get slightly exhausted 🥰

- Husk takes care of Fat Nuggets for Angel Dust whilst he’s at work (bonus points if he ensures their “children” are safe and looks after them as well)

- Angel doesn’t like anyone else using the term “loser” (takes it as an insult) unless it’s Husk as if it’s one of those inside joke things

- Husk always gives Angel a piggy back ride when he’s either really drunk or emotionally exhausted after work

- Angel boasts to everyone that he’s in the one in “charge” (as a top) of his and Husk’s relationship 🤣

- Huskerdust would definitely be the type of couple to always be in their “honeymoon phase”

- When Angel gives cuddles to Husk he always gives him head scratches and rubs his ears (where cats like it the most in real life)

- Husk always gives Angel a “Sex On The Beach” cocktail ad an inside joke about their past relationship

- After work Angel always gets escorted at night by Husk (like the minute his shift ends 🥰) to protect him from both Valentino and any unsavoury people

- Husk puts music on and starts to dance around (ie dramatically impersonating Elvis Presley) just to make Angel Dust even if it meant he gets to mock him for it

- Angel loves everything about Husky (although he’d love him 10x more when he’s his usual grumpy self)

- Husk would be the type of dad to build stuff from scratch for his kids (besides Angel loves his men with a tool; so it’s a win-win situation 😜

Angel pulls a “Gloria” (from Modern Family ) when it comes to refusing to take his heels off — even when they start to hurt his feet

<> Which makes Husk — being the gentleman he is — go and buys something comfortable for him 🥹

- Husk buys a pink set of cards for Angel (so he can play against him for fun 🤭)

- Angel sneezes mouse-like (small and feminine) and Husky sneezes whale-like (large and loud)

- Husk gets ferally overprotective particularly when unsavoury comments are made about or to Angel 😏

- When Husk goes to Angel’s shows the latter puts 200% extra effort into his performance

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

TMA/TME is like woke misgendering wtf are these people on about. Someone’s agab is absolutely none of your business and the fact that people will treat each other differently based on it is so fucked.

Oh HOW DARE transmasculine people use language to talk about their unique experiences with discrimination and whatnot, clearly oppressive and hurtful to transfems /s

it’s just such a weird hill to die on that comes down to oppression olympics. Trans women are more likely to get a attacked in public than trans men, but trans men do in fact still face conversion therapy, assaults, and corrective rapes if they’re outed. Applying the TME label to other people has always come off as very othering in an “I’m more oppressed than you so sit down and don’t discuss TERFs or any trans rights issue that affects more trans women than men” type of way. It’s also a conversation non-binary people are left out of because there is a very narrow scope of who these sorts of people believe are able to experience transmisogyny. Like is a non-binary amab only capable of experiencing transmisogyny if they personally align with a feminine identity? Or is it decided by what an outsider interprets them as being?

[the-aurora-my-beloved]

YIPPEE FIRST POST TIME

THIS WILL BE 18+ SO MINORS SHOO

okay so listen, I’m a big mechanisms polycule believer and as someone who is poly I’ve always imagined the polycule being a certain way. Because obviously not everyone is dating, but just because someone isn’t dating doesn’t mean they aren’t sexual with each other.

Sooo here’s how I think the polycule goes!

Aurora, Brian and Nastya are dating and have sex with each other

Aurora and Nastya do not date outside of each other and Brian, unless a conversation were to happen

Brian is dating the toy soldier and he’s the only one the toy soldier is involved with

Ashes is most everyone’s Dom/top, but they’re not really romantic with anyone it’s all platonic love

Brian is ALSO most everyone’s soft top and he is romantic with a few of them

Marius and Ivy are dating, they often have sexual relations with Raphaella

Jonny and Tim have crushes on each other but are too stubborn to say anything so they just fuck about it

Raphaella has a fat crush on Nastya, Ivy and Marius but isn’t saying anything, so she just stares at Nastya and the others a lot (especially during orgies)

Snuggles are never exclusive, everyone has gotten a snuggle with Nastya before and Nastya has gotten a snuggle with everyone (it was actually a little bit of a surprise when they found Tim and Nastya snuggling)

Me personally I view Nastya and Jonny as strictly having a sibling relationship, so they don’t do anything other than platonic/familial love