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Box by cash register: “Free bananas!”

Me: “Hey are these bananas good?”

Cashier: “Yeah they’re good”

Me: *picks up banana*

Banana:

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ppl in the age of cell phones: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of books: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of textile art: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of picking lice: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of cooking: fucking up their necks

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Seen today on walk peace and love on planet earth

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Hush

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I've neglected the people's princess Kaladin long enough so here I am giving my boy some attention

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I love love and am terrified of it just like everyone else

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the concept of "getting the ick" is so innately seinfeldian that it's crazy that it was coined in the 2020s and not on a season 6 episode of seinfeld where elaine gets the ick from a guy she's dating who makes too big a deal out of celebrating his birthday

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"I asked ChatGPT--"

Yeah well, I asked the wasps nest in my attic. It sang its answer so beautifully to me, but I am so very afraid of it. Perhaps it will soothe my itching soul...

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im dying over this thread of algorithmically-generated/otherwise low-effort Kindle covers

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mind if I come over and behave somewhat like a scared animal before I adjust

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got me good with this whole email address thing. you make email account as child for one purpose neopets.com and now all this. bait and switch. not nice.

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i didn’t understand the black eyed peas when i was a child but as an adult they’re a very fascinating group to me. the way will i am talks about partying and the club is like he’s relaying information he received from secondary sources