#I guess I am part of this universe now!!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Real Eyes, Fake Lies (Part 11)
Pairing: soulmate!Lee Jihoon x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 2.8k
Warnings: Hanahaki!AU, angst, all hurt no comfort, swearing, tears, the usual 🙂↕️
Summary: What do you do when you find out the one person that was created by the universe to be yours doesn’t want you back?
A/N: It has been WAY too long since I've updated this story and I apologise for that 🙂↕️ I finally feel like I've gotten my life back on track to finally be able to post a long awaited update!! Thank you to everyone who still reads and enjoys my fics, it means a lot ! 🥹 - Tae 💜🌸✨
Previous | Next | Masterlist
Ask to be added to my taglist!
“Do you know what’s wrong with him?”
“His girlfriend left him, genius. What do you think is wrong with him?”
Jihoon rolls his eyes. His housemates have as much subtlety as an earthquake. Their naturally loud voices seep through the closed door of his bedroom as he stares at his ceiling, a sigh leaving his lungs in the darkness as the outside voices drone on.
“Hyung,” Mingyu sighs. “It’s been over a week now… Should we call someone?”
“Who would we call?” Junhui retorts. “His soulmate? Because up until last week, I thought his soulmate was Ji-ah.”
The mention of her name creates another pit in Jihoon’s stomach. He hates it. He wishes he could just get over the stupid emotions that run through his veins at the mere thought of his not-soulmate, now also not-girlfriend.
“His parents are hours away and he has no siblings that we can contact.” Junhui continues, frustration laced in his voice. “I don’t know who we could call.”
“Doesn’t hyung have a cousin who-”
“I can hear everything you guys are saying. You know that, right?”
Jihoon’s hard voice carries through the door, his housemates falling silent on the other end.
“Jihoon-ah.” A deep voice mutters, causing him to tense up. He knows that Wonwoo knows how to get through to him. “Can we talk?”
After a long pause, Jihoon’s bedroom door slightly creaks open. “Wonwoo, I told you yesterday,” he stares at the ground, refusing to make eye contact with the older man. “I am fine-”
“You are not, Jihoon-ah. And we both know it.”
“How do you know?” He snips.
“You haven’t left your bedroom since Ji-ah left you last week.” Jihoon sucks his teeth at her name.
“I never left my bedroom before she left me.” He hisses back.
“Yes, you did.” Wonwoo retorts back.
“When? To go on dates with her?” he barks. “To take her out? To go visit her family? Well, guess what? She is gone, Wonwoo, so I have a whole lot more free time and I choose to spend that time at home.” his voice cracks slightly, bottom lip shaking as he moves to close the door once more, his frown deepening as Mingyu grabs a hold of the door before it closes.
“Hyung, we’re sorry.” Mingyu’s voice is softer now as he looks at him with sad eyes. “We’re so fucking sorry that you’re going through this but we are here for you and want to be there for you.”
“I don’t need-”
“Please don’t push us away.” Wonwoo frowns, his hand resting over Jihoons. “Jihoon-ah…”
Jihoon shakes his head quietly, a small hiccup leaving his lips. “Wonwoo, I promise, I’m fine.” He gently lets his hand fall from Wonwoo’s as he moves to shut the door to his bedroom once more, wiping the stray tears that threaten to spill from his eyes.
“I truly don’t know what to do, guys.” Jihoon winces at the defeated tone of his older housemate’s voice as he climbs back into the comfort of his bed once more, hoping to forget about the world around him for a little bit longer.
Jihoon heaves a loud sigh as he steps into his first Film Studies class in nearly two weeks, slumping down in his chair, rubbing at his temples slightly as Professor Park begins his usual droning on. He really should be listening to the lecture at hand, but he can’t bring himself to. Not when he can feel the eyes of multiple people in the class lingering on him. He’s sure that word has gotten around now about his very public dumping and the fact that Ji-ah was obviously never his soulmate. He hates that he can feel the sympathy radiating off of his peers, and even off of you, his real soulmate, sitting directly beside him with your stupid perfect hair and stupidly neat notes that you wordlessly offered him to help catch him up on the classes he missed. He accepts them graciously, spending most of the lesson copying your notes into his notebook.
“Professor,” a deep voice from the back of the room calls out near the end of the lesson, drawing Jihoon from his thoughts.
“Yes, Jaebeom?”
Your soulmate glances at you at the sight of your body tensing up at the mention of the newcomer’s name. He tilts his head slightly as he feels nerves begin to bubble in the pit of his stomach from you, causing him to raise a brow. You take a slow breath before scribbling idly on your page again, indifference on your face, but Jihoon knows it’s a front.
Why are you so tense?
“About the extension on our group project?” Jaebeom’s voice lulls out in a drawl, a clear cockiness hidden in his tone.
“Ah yes,” Professor Park hums, nodding his head. “I know some of you have gone ahead and already submitted your essays and presentations to me, and I’m thankful for you guys for getting these to me on time and even earlier. For the remainder of you all who have yet to submit your projects, I’ve extended the deadline by two weeks, due to an unavoidable event I must attend.”
Jihoon hears his classmate’s sighs of relief, and in turn, he breathes out as well. He knew he had neglected his end of his project with you for the last week, and he feels grateful that he can make up for it.
“I do hope the rest of you,” Professor Park sends a look to the back of the room, “get this done in due time. Class dismissed.”
Jihoon wordlessly offers your notebook back to you, a frown forming on his face when he sees you duck your head, letting your hair fall over your face. He glances to see a taller man wearing low jeans and a beat up baseball cap on his head march- no, strut down the stairs to reach the door, sauntering out with what Jihoon can only describe as a sleazy grin on his face. Once he steps out of the room, you immediately collect your things, bow your head to Jihoon with a little smile, and jump up to leave the classroom.
“Professor,” your soulmate approaches the teacher. “I appreciate you extending the deadline-”
“Oh, Jihoon-ssi!” Professor Park smiled. “Are you feeling better? Miss Choi told me that you were unwell when she submitted your project to me last week.”
“Oh.. Yeah, I’m feeling alri- Wait. Submitted?” Jihoon blinked.
“Yes,” he smiled. “Both of your arguments had wonderful points to pit against each other. Well done! I will be posting your grades in a few weeks!”
You finished off the project for him? Why are you so… nice?
“Uh… Thank you, Professor.” Jihoon bows his head in thanks before slowly stepping out of the classroom, starting to walk in the direction of home, the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance.
Jihoon takes a deep sigh as he finds himself sitting down at the park bench that is so familiar to him now, letting the raindrops land on his clothes and face as he tilts his head back.
“Jihoon-ssi?” your voice is quiet over the sound of the loud rain, but Jihoon could hear you. He always does. He blinks as he feels the heavy raindrops that land on his hoodie abruptly stop, looking up to see a pastel umbrella being held over his now drenched body. “What are you doing out here?”
Jihoon shrugs quietly for a moment. “I… don’t know.” He glances down at the wet sleeves of his hoodie. “Just.. Thinking.”
“Well, I think you should think away from a torrential downpour next time,” you quip with a little smile, hoping the joke makes him crack a smile.
“Nah,” he hums. “It’s comforting, the rain..”
“Comforting?” You echo, tilting your head innocently as he hums a confirmation.
“Mm. Rain doesn’t have colour.” He glances at you for a moment, slightly amused by the cluelessness on your face as you just blink at him. “Ah, it’s silly, really,” he continues. “The sky doesn’t have colour when it rains, it reminds me of what the world looked like before everything changed. Everything is so different now.”
“You’re right.” You agree quietly. “Everything is different.”
“Thank you,” Jihoon mumbles after a brief silence. “For helping finish off the project while I was… y’know.”
“Oh, that?” You shrug. “That was nothing. You had all the arguments, I just articulated them for you. Figured that you already had enough on your plate so I thought you wouldn’t mind if I submitted a little early to get it out of the way for the both of us.”
“How do you do it?”
“Huh? Do what?”
“... Live.” Jihoon’s voice is barely above a whisper as you settle down on the park bench beside Jihoon, still holding the umbrella over his head. “How do you just live life so damn happily while you feel like absolute shit all the time? And don’t deny that you don’t, I have felt every single emotion you have felt for weeks now.”
You pause for a moment, looking up at the sky before humming. “I suppose I just got used to it.” You shrug. “It kind of just became like a background noise for me. It’s just always there.”
“Even when the pain is doubled now? Because of me?”
You shrug once more. “It’s not something I haven’t dealt with before. I can feel the pain for both of us, Jihoon-ssi. It’s okay.” You give him a little smile. “I have had a lot more practice at loss than you have.”
Jihoon feels the irritation bubbling up inside him slowly.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
You blink in confusion as you glance at him. “Huh?”
“I have experienced loss too, you know.”
“I know that, I just-”
“I am more than capable of feeling these emotions too.” He frowns.
“I know,” you emphasize, “I just wanted you to know you don’t have to face them on your own.”
Jihoon scoffs quietly. Who does she think she is, giving him advice on how to deal with his emotions? “I know that too. You don’t need to point out the obvious, Choi.”
“Do you know that?” You retort, raising an eyebrow. “Because from what Mingyu told me, you’ve barely left your room until this week.”
“Ugh,” Jihoon groans, leaning his head back. “Am I not allowed to have time to myself?”
“Of course you are,” you sigh. “But you’re also-”
“You know, you should think about facing your emotions on your own instead of relying on everyone else around you.” Jihoon hisses at you with a glare as you freeze with wide eyes.
“H-huh?” He can feel your doubt seeping into his veins.
“Your brother, his soulmate, Soonyoung, Seokmin,” he rambles. “They’re always at your beck and call when they could be living their own lives with each other and not have to worry about you every five fucking minutes like you’re their child.”
“I…” You balk, Jihoon wincing at the feeling of your stomach twisting inside him. But he doesn't care, he wants you to hurt as much as he does. It’s your fault he doesn’t have Ji-ah anymore, afterall.
“Just go away!” He barks. “When will you realize that your help isn’t needed?! You’re not needed! I lost the one girl I truly fucking loved because of YOU! Why would I want you around?! Leave me alone already!”
After a long silence, Jihoon finally turns his head to look at you, staring at him for what seems like hours with the same look that you had on the day you brushed hands for the first time. That isn’t what frightens your soulmate, though. What frightens him is the fact that he can’t feel anything inside him anymore, besides his own pain.
“... sorry, I’ll leave you alone.” You mumble robotically, delicately placing the umbrella beside him before rising and walking through the heavy rain in the direction of your house, letting the rain run down your clothes.
“Fuck.” Jihoon sighs heavily and buries his face into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut as he hears your footsteps move further and further away.
He needs to apologize. He knows he does. He knows he said those words out of anger and hurt, and he knows you definitely didn’t deserve it.
But why can’t he find it in himself to go to you and do it? You’re literally two tables away from him right now.
Jihoon, he scolds himself, it’s been days. You need to man up and tell her you’re sorry.
Could he be worrying a little now because since he confronted you, he has felt no emotions whatsoever from you? Has he finally lost the tether from you?
“Hello you!!” A loud, cheery voice snaps him into reality. He blinks as he stares at his cup of ramen in his hand, fidgeting on the hard steel of the cafeteria chair underneath him, trying to figure out where the loud voice had come from.
Seungkwan makes his way over to where you’re sitting, draping himself over your back. Before he can ask how you are, you jolt up quickly, scooting away from him like you’ve been burned.
“Hey.” You give him a little smile, pressing yourself up against the wall. “Where’s Hansol? You should be with Hansol.”
Seungkwan’s face contorts slightly as he sticks his lips out in almost a pout. “He had to run to make his next class… Bug, what’s wrong-”
“I actually have to run too, Kwan.” You stammer out quickly, grabbing your backpack and stepping out from behind the table. “Talk later?”
“But, you haven’t even touched your lunch…” his voice fades out as he watches you rush quickly out of the cafeteria, surprise etched on his face.
Jihoon watches on, just as surprised as Seungkwan as he reaches the table with him, Soonyoung and Seokmin.
“Okay, what the hell was that? What happened to Bug?” Seungkwan immediately questions Soonyoung, who upon further inspection, looks just as out of it as you are.
“We don’t know,” Seokmin speaks for his soulmate. “Every time she’s at home, she stays locked up in her room and only leaves to cook dinner for us and clean up. She didn’t even come down for movie night the other night.”
Your soulmate’s eyes widened slightly as Soonyoung took a deep breath. “Something has happened and she won’t tell us what. She doesn’t even speak when she’s at home anymore.”
“We’ve tried to talk to her, get her to come out of her room, do anything, but she doesn’t budge. I’m getting worried.” Seokmin bites his lip.
“I don’t know what the hell has happened to our Bug. She is literally just doing fucking chores and whenver one of us tries to hang out..” your best friend rubs at his temples. “She keeps insisting we hang out with our soulmates. With each other. I don’t know why the fuck that doesn’t mean she can’t hang out with us too.”
Jihoon feels sick as your housemate’s words sink in to him.
When will you realize your help isn’t needed? You’re not needed!
Fuck.
“Jesus Christ, Jihoon-ah.” Wonwoo breathes out when Jihoon finally steps through the door. “You were supposed to be back four hours ago. What the hell were you- Jihoon-ah?”
His eyes widened at the sight of his housemate stepping under the lights of the hallway, lip trembling and hair sticking in six different directions. Jihoon truly didn’t mean to take so long making it home. He supposes he lost track of time wandering campus with his racing mind.
He knew his words had gotten to you. At the moment it felt good, for you to feel the pain he did. But now? Seeing his friends, your family agonizing over how detached you are?
What has he done?
“Jihoon…” Junhui looks on worriedly, reaching forward to slip the backpack off his housemate’s shoulders.
“I… I knew what I was getting into when I chose to date her, Wonwoo.” His voice quivers as he stares at the ground. “I knew that she already had a soulmate, but… I-I didn’t think…”
“Of course you didn’t.” Wonwoo agrees.
“She told me that he had moved countries years ago… There was no chance he’d come back…” a small tear slides down his cheek as his housemate hums in acknowledgement. “And when I… when I found my soulmate and I-” Jihoon chokes back a sob. “And I rejected them to keep a hold of Ji-ah…” His soft cries echo into the quiet hallway. “I… I felt their heart break inside of me, I’ve felt their pain for weeks a-and now I feel their pain on top of my own and… fuck, I broke her, man.”
“Oh, Jihoon…” Junhui sighs sympathetically as Wonwoo pulls Jihoon towards him, bringing his head into his shoulder as his arms wrap around his back in a warm embrace.
Jihoon pauses for a moment. He blinks once, twice, and a third time before he lets out a soft sob, his hands gripping onto Wonwoo’s shoulders desperately as he buries his face into the soft fabric of his shirt.
“Hyung,” he chokes out. “I r-really fucked up.”
Real Eyes, Fake Lies Taglist
@vixensss @hemmingsness @lizzymizzy-blog @kawennote09 @breakfastburritosattiffanys @im-gemmy @friendlywraith @devinkelsey19 @kameko-ko @mar-627 @Woozieeeee @milopenne @stellauniverse @addicsvt @changbinisms @phenomenalgirl9 @lanatheawesome @maidachi @jeanjacketjesus @sunnynapp @jihanniee @reallyshypost @jaeminsbuckethat @sweetchelly @iarayara @opheliaas-stuff @claireleem @hotricewoozi @beardedartgamingbakery @sumzysworld @lavayeon @unusuallyshy @woozixo @mirxzii @mhlsymlysn @seventeenthingsblr @kwanniesboo @loomsuhcats @markleehee @scuzmunkie @tumblerluvver @wooanghae @xxpr3ttyk173rxx @comingupwithacoolnameishard @whorecore-world @sana-is-ms-rmty @bitterbluemorningstar @reverieisntready @gaslysainz @softforyoongles @artemisdoe @studykaystudy @kpopishealing @kyrojackson @winchestersllama @palmsugr @j0j11 @cookiearmy @lateforlatte @eisaspresso
Permanent Taglist
@misshale21 @etaerealboy @kawennote09 @im-gemmy @devinkelsey19 @woozieeeee @loveless-lie @lixiel0ver @keymins @nen-nyy @lisaaaaamanobannn @i-dont-give-a-fok @miriamxsworld @jovialpartyneckoaf @jojowantstocry @roe-sinning @sarahisupset @sun-daddy-yoriichi @coveyland @side-angel @ateez-atiny
#seventeen angst#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#lee jihoon x reader#woozi angst#woozi x reader#lee Jihoon angst#seventeen au
119 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think it's amusing how much passive influence sneaks up on us without us even realizing.
To put it into perspective, what do you associate with this blog? Probably pink, my little pony and barbie right? I am the host of this blog (probably front 99% of the time) and guess what?
I like none of those things! I am nb masc leaning (i got the fashion sense of Kurtis Connor if you're curious) and the only thing I ACTIVELY have an interest in is Pearl from Steven Universe. When it comes to all the ponies, pink girly shit - none of that is me! It's all just passive influence from other parts!
Think about it, how often are you subject to passive influence? Is it more than you thought now that you're thinking about it?
#did system#did#did osdd#system#actually did#actually plural#osdd system#osdd#syspunk#systempunk#pluralpunk#cdd#cdd system#cdd community#polyfrag
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
Bet i can pick up mun up by the scruff easily/j
(Nuh-uh! You can't do that! Your hands are for in-universe shenanigans only-!
Oh... Huh!!!)
#ooc post#what wall is this breaking???#I guess I am part of this universe now!!!#well I was gonna be bc I cannot resist a self insert Imao#okay now I am really working on posts!!!#this ask just really made me laugh!!!
96 notes
·
View notes
Text
UNCHAINED 1/4
ᛜ Next >>
Intro and first Verse of Dark Matter by Les Friction.
Curiosity kills the cat.
#just so you know - the inconsistent room and sizes of the columns and lighting is INTENTIONAL#artist on tumblr#artists on tumblr#original art#digital art#scp fanart#scp#scp foundation#I REALLY didn't want to tag SCP stuff because it doesn't have ANY right now but also... it is within this universe#and this place...#you can see where and when the warping takes place actually ;)#and yes you may already guess who is the culprit <3#god I am so hyped to draw part 2 I need to balance this out#ENJOY
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reposting a connverse I made in 2021. Well, specifically posting this again after editing a few stuff.
I had been so bothered with how I kept editing Steven until I made his silhouette floppy-looking. So I fixed it a bit.
And that this was suppose to be flipped in the first place (which was why Connie's nose piercing was on the right side on the original.)
#I think I chose to keep it flipped then because I recognized Connie's silhouette was much stronger and sometimes I wanted my stronger parts#on the left side of the image.#connverse#Steven Quartz Universe#Connie Maheswaran#SU#my shiz#repostober#I'll be deleting my uploads for repostober by the end of the year except this one.#Editing it despite me saying I am not going to do anything two years ago.#I saved a speed paint of this on Youtube and you can clearly see I kept editing Steven worse and worse. 😵#I got his legs fixxed into a better stance at least.#What I specifically had a problem now is Steven's arm and jacket.#Like I think I can make his torso look more sturdy.#But I don't wanna dwell on it too much.#Steven Universe#Eugh this was suppose to be a scheduled post. and it just disappeared while editing it. I'm guessing I accidentally pressed the 'post now'#button?#teal
375 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay angel neil might be bumpy for a bit but i am tired of giving a fuck so you're getting a bumpy angel
#lol idk i'm struggling to get this part right.#well that's a lie#i know the exact reason.#it's that i wrote what i thought was a great transition scene but now i'm like 'eh' about it#like it's a fine scene but it would honestly be better suited to the vampdrew universe... so#i guess i'll cut it out and put it in there somewhere#but my problem was i was being a stubborn idiot and trying to fit it in anyway lol#but i think.#it's gonna be alright#killing my darlings or whatever#well i'm not killin it just giving it to vampdrew :) but you get me#anyway how are you? i love you#if you read all this then i am kissing the back of your hand<3#diaerie
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
ough. toriel my beloved
#comics may or may not be coming#(they are i am drawing them)#why is it so difficult. not the process of drawing but something about choosing a canvas size and marking the panels makes my brain lag#okay kingdings is something that exists i guess but can we have a little old lady interaction.#need more content of wingdings actually being a part of that world and an important individual for the people around him#rather than just existing as a satellite to a handful of characters and straight up being barely acknowledged by others#specially considering he was the goddamn Royal Scientist the man genius himself#anyway toriel. their relationship would be funny#she may be perpetually confused by his mannerisms but shes immune to creepy (re: her own creepy ass children across universes)#woman always sees right through him and thinks hes the silliest thing#she knows how badly you want a family mr weirdo come now you can sit at the thanksgiving table#feels kind of bad her efforts cannot undo the debilitating loneliness he radiates however 😔#but my favourite thing: will never Not kiss her hand#there are no romantic undertones it is just a gesture of reverence#will do it to your mom your grandma your sister. really any lady he feels he owes formal acknowledgement#and queen toriel is always owed formal acknowledgement#gugunghhuhguh. ily toriel cant wait to finally figure out how to draw you
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am insanely in Love with this drawing. Tumblr likes to botch the resolution tho, so if you want to see it in its full glory please click it (or open it in another tab, that also works)
#Sure it looks less like it is made of copper and more like it was made of brass but hey#For that sweet lighting effects? I can move past that#Also I am so so insanely proud of the lighting like look at it#Sure the dual light sources were on accident when playing around with some shading ideas but hey#And the lack of background is a little annoying to me but my art software would have crashed if I added any more layers with effects#This is part of a bigger project (an animation/story that I am entirely writing and animating in my pirated Powerpoint programm)#Do not ask me how it works for it took me 2 weeks to finish the current 8 slides (because of University etc)#And also do not ask me why I am using Powerpoint#Frame by Frame animations drive me insane (and I have no software to actually do that in) and I don't know how to work blender yet#Ahem anyway#My actual tags now#Uhhhh#Robots#robot oc#ocs#... Skull?#Man I don't know how am I supposed to tag this#tender and loving affection for your dead and long gone creator but you are a robot/program that only gained sentience after their death#How about that huh#(first one to correctly guess the two things the design for the robot was inspired by gets. A cookie. Two cookies... My lemoncake recipe)#digital art
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
TFW you are questioning your future because how much you fucking hate school and the workload associated with it
#just university things 🤪#the only reason why I’m sticking to full time schedule is becuase of scholarships#that way I don’t have I pay for school#but god I want to drop to part time student so fucking bad#vent#rant#I’m doing good at least 8 hrs of hw every day#oh yes also work on top of that#just fuck me I guess#this is such a poor me issue I’m sorry#like wow I’m forced to attend university full time so I get to do classes for free poor me#I am just having such a hard time balancing my work load#I don’t even like business why tf am I getting a bachelors in it#I know why it’s becuase im already now 3 years invested into it and I get to do it with no cost to me#do I really want to be stuck in some soul sucking corporate job rest of my life?#is this my career?#what the fuck am I doing with my life#I don’t know anymore#I’m jdut trying to make it day by day#try not be crushed by overwhelming sadness of our current reality I guess#AGHHHH
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just learned that
Apparently most people...don't...have near constant tinnitus that contributes to sensory overload and makes it difficult to process things like speech
#life in the shark lane#can i just#can we just stop giving my body shit to handle?#can we?#i am so tired#all i want in the universe right now is (redacted) and I'm questioning my ability to handle it and my ability to get my shit together enoug#and i guess this means I probably should have a real counseling session or whatever#i don't know how much more I can handle 'thing I thought was a pretty normal part of my day is actually a disability'#and amongst everything I have to interact with capitalism? but capitalism seems to not want me either#life in the shark lane in the tags
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
#twitter repost#i guess its probably not THAT controversial i think i just really wanted to get that off my chest#xxxholic#i guess#no but like even tho mostly the quality was incredible the fact they basically were like HAHA ASSPULL and then dipped soon after is so..#i think im even a couple chapters behind and im not even rushing to catch up on them cause it burned me so bad#also cause its clamp im like. they can and will get worse sometimes with their weird shit and i cant trust that they wont#in fact holic is a funny one cause altho im less familiar with other series i know full well holic is one of their least Messy™ ones#iykwim#obviously thats not an inherent metric but like holic is usually nonsense free but i will never stop giving clamp bombastic side eye after#parts of the og ending and MOSTLY the fakeout alt universe mystery arc turning into an irrelevant fetch quest like#how do u produce media so perfect and then do that#and its also so long past tsubaholis main writing period so its like who cares??? why now???#especially cause it was like boom hiatus#anyway thats the main reason u never catch me rereading rei much at all#like i dont have an encyclopaedic knowledge of it solely cause the twist outcome pissed me off and made me so fckin nervous for the future#also im just worried now the movies done theyll be like oh we wrote 2 chapters ajd back to hiatus good riddance!! like#I've seen the digital fear struck into the eyes of x fans i wouldnt put it past them#anyway im still excited but god damn am i nervous and fucking suspicious as hell#sigh#why cant we live in a no fakeout more interesting arc ender world where also they decided to not pull a teacher student age gap 'ship'#ship in quotes cause they obviously dont fcking love each other#but clamp is SOOOOO addicted to that trope they wanted to mess with it a little like a cat with yarn even if its non romantic#like they were like we r a thirsty flower if we dont do something problematic even as a plot contrivance with no romance we will dieeeeeeee#one day i when holic is public domain (yeah im gonna live until like 500 im so cool like that) i will release hit doumeki movie#not trying to be a hater btw they do great work but damn if those ladies dont make me nervous as hell for where this whole thing could go#or if they even wanna finish it
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
another evening another instance of me helping other people instead of doing stuff i have to do for tomorrow hhhh
#i have an exam and a test#but my roommate broke down crying became she can't do anything for her test that she has tomorrow#reasonable me wanted to say that she literally spent this week watching movies and tiktoks ans lying in bed so that's why#but the part of me who thinks of her as my best friend despite everything got up and sat with her to revise that shit#didn't get a thank you. didn't do anything for my exam. but at least i have a clear conscience i guess#because* not became goddammit autocorrect#anyway i can already feel the anxiety attack i am going to go through tomorrow during the exam mmmmm#that always happens when i can't do something on a test#gotta love university#she was crying because 1. her test tomorrow and 2. she didn't start any of the 3 projects that are due this week#and now im. battling with thoughts what to do about that#do i send her my finished projects for her to just change numbers and submit it#do i sit down with her and do it#or do i do nothing#sigh problems on top of problems#I don't want to be that person now who says that IVE BEEN SAYING that she needs to do the projects earlier instead of going who knows where#because with her current state it's only gonna get worse#but mannnn#she really should've at least start these instead of chilling these last 3 months
0 notes
Text
literally blocking buckt*mmy right now bc the amount of Not Caring I have is infinite compared to the trauma of the rest of that episode, and you’re not even watching the same show as me if you think that Chris leaving isn’t also a traumatic thing for Buck. Absolutely not in the same way it is for Eddie don’t get it fucking twisted!! But it’s a sudden loss, and it’s compounded by him seeing Eddie so messed up about it and being unable to fix it.
Again: he’s not more messed up about this than Eddie and in fact I might argue that no one on this show is more messed up about anything except maybe Bobby bc he killed a bajillion people w his negligence and Eddie just hurt his kid w his carelessness but —
but I have no interest in seeing or reading about him being happy with Tommy rn, and I have less than zero interest in whatever nightmare is happening wrt the daddy kink thing. Ppl are allowed to not like a thing that’s a major squick, just as ppl are allowed to like a thing that’s a major kink. Why is everyone screaming and yelling homophobia about it when Eddie just lost Christopher??
#lmao I have one priority and it’s christopher diaz#just call me eddie tbh the way I’m prioritizing that kid above my own safety and well-being#I need to go to bed so bad my palpitations are off the charts rn 😂#Eddie Diaz#911 spoilers#911 negativity#.txt#I know I know it’s an ensemble show and people watch for their own reasons and their own comfort characters or whatever#but I am the master of my universe and I am autistic: I can’t comprehend not being obsessed w single dad Eddie Diaz & his cheeky rascal kid#I guess even if u do love Eddie maybe this part was too upsetting and ur coping by forgetting it happened#in which case: that’s so vlad of you. wish that was me.#sry still gonna keep that content blocked for now lmao
0 notes
Text
Tw:internalized racism? I guess?
#sorry I’m not answering asks right now Daisy is just. laying in bed feeling the sad sjsjsjsjsjsj#having self respect is easy. it’s having self love that’s the hard part.#my friends are gorgeous and pretty and so smart and amazing but it’s.#I can’t talk to them about how frustrating it is to be I guess the non-ideal poc?#they’re either white with straight noses and colored eyes or Asian and are able to hang out with and relate to other Asians#for me I don’t. have that Sjsjsjs I’m#a Lightskin or whatever but I don’t fit any of the black niches nor am I accepted by them bc I am nawt black enough for their ideals etc#so it just. leaves me feeling isolated#I went to a predominantly white school and university and it’s hard explaining to a group of white people the type of agony of not ever#really being the ideal race if that makes sense?#like if I like a guy I have to worry about oh well does he find black girls attractive would he be willing to date outside his race#bc for the record black guys do not. treat me nicely and berate me for not idk being their Rihanna baddie so I just have been so turned off#from them I don’t think I could ever date a black guy tbh#it gets even more nerve wracking when you’re a 21 year old virgin and your mom is just shoving black guys down your throat to date sjsjsjsj#but even if they say oh you’re pretty you’re gorgeous Daisy etc I just. can’t believe them bc they will always be the first choice. I won’t#and that just. it destroys me and eats away at me bc being different only works when you fit in#*sigh* I have no black people to talk about this to bc my sister is thicker skinned than I am I guess and my mom would just say just date#a black guy or get black friends when ✨they don’t even desire me✨#so I rant to my little tumblr blog and hope these feelings pass even tho I’ve been feeling this for about two months now#I cried during my graduation bc I couldn’t feel proud of myself and felt so demoralized. I graduated with a degree in biomedical sciences#and never had I felt more worthless#but sigh sorry lovies for posting this I just. aksksk I’m crying now argh but yah#Daisy is sad but hopefully I will answer asks tomorrow I see them#all and yall are so sweet 💕
1 note
·
View note
Text
confidence guide for awkward girls 💫
LEARN TO SHUT UP. this is the first advice because it is probably the most important one, but the one that took me the longest to comprehend and master. girl, literally just shutting the fuck up does wonders. most of the times I was embarrassed out of my mind was coz I said something completely avoidable, only because I believed that being quiet was either rude or more awkward than whatever I rambled at that moment. bzzt, WRONG! being quiet means first of all being non-reactive, which gives you time to really reflect on what's being said and whether or not it even requires a response, and guess what; like 80% of the time, it does not. you are allowed to not respond, nod along, go "hmm" or "oh!" and leave it at that.
LEARN TO "FAKE" SMILE. this may seem controversial but it helps me so much. I've always been accused of looking mean, bitchy or just too serious, especially since I started to shut the fuck up (see previous item). and I am guilty as charged: I do have a RBF and when I am focused my eyebrow goes ò_o and I look judgemental and almost evil, and when I tried to balance it out by being funny or witty, it just came off even more awkward. the solution? I've started practicing a fake smile in front of the mirror when I was about 13 years old until I got the muscle memory of it so perfectly that now it's my response to nearly everything that I don't want/can't respond to. throwing an easy smile into a conversation will make you seem relaxed and in control even if you're bubbling anxious inside, and people will feel more at ease with you. also: learn to be generous with compliments, and try to make them your auto-response as well!
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF. comparison is the mark of insecurity and envy, and it's one of the ugliest and most useless habits you can have. yes, useless: what benefit do you get from comparing your face and body and circumstances to somebody else's? and please don't pretend you're getting "inspiration" from them. listen, you are your own lane. you are your entire universe. there is no other life to be lived, no other body to embody. this is it. these are the cards you were dealt with. the longer you try to peak into somebody else's cards, the longer you'll be ignoring yourself and neglecting your game. abandon ideas such as comparison, imitation or judgement towards others. confidence starts and ends with focusing on yourself.
LEARN TO CUT PEOPLE OFF. accumulating people in your life like they're pokémon is gonna be your downfall, because it's obvious not everyone can stay. imagine if a growing tree held onto all its leaves and branches, even the ones in obvious decay, how ugly and weak that tree would be, how much energy those dying parts would steal from the new ones in need of flourishing. it's the same with relationships. when someone disrespects you, hurts you, or simply doesn't align with you anymore, and you find excuses to keep this person around, what you're doing is betraying yourself, and how are you gonna have confidence in someone who betrays you? learn to cut people off or to simply let them go, and watch yourself become lighter and brighter.
QUIT BEING A BITCH. something people don't seem to understand is that the rude, conceited, mean girl persona is always revealed to be a small, petty and insecure rat on the inside. I've wasted years of potential connections trying to emulate the Blair Waldorf-y, Regina George-y vibes, trying to balance out my awkwardness with what I thought was their fierceness, because I was missing the whole point that their confident selves were lies. no girl or woman who is confident in herself spends any amount of time being a bitch, scheming to take people down, minding everyone else's business to make sure she stays on top. true confident people are kind even in the face of rudeness, they glow in shadows; their strength lies in tenderness. the sooner you give this mean girl show up, the better.
ABANDON YOUR NEED FOR APPROVAL AND COMPREHENSION FROM OTHERS. seeking approval is a very obvious trap but seeking comprehension is also dangerous, because the second people start doubting or questioning you – which is always going to happen when you decide to make a change of habits, traits, lifestyle etc – and you decide to explain yourself, you're accepting the premise that what you're doing is incomprehensible. if you're truly sure of yourself, there will be no need to assure others of yourself. if your peers or strangers don't understand it, so what? that's their enigma to sort out. respond to yourself and yourself only. if you understand and approve yourself, that's all you need, period. live for your damn self.
GOOD LUCK, LITTLE STARS 💫
#becoming that girl#becoming her#it girl#it girl affirmations#it girl energy#that girl#lucky girl syndrome#personal excellence#self care#self love#self improvement#personal growth#wellness girl#wonyoungism#self development#girlblogging#this is a girlblog#1k#2k
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
please please please, charles leclerc
summary : "please please please don't prove them right" charles leclerc has been labelled as a noterious playboy so when popstar starts y/n y/ln starts dating him she puts him in his place. warnings : language, suggestive content, hate comments. a/n : i acc have so much unfinished works in my drafts rnnn
y/nusername n1 in sydney.
liked by taylorswift, gracieabrams, tyla, and 4,628,925 others.
user72 ugh i love her so bad
username13 taylor liking is crazyy like she has been y/n's idol for years
user99 so so proud about how far she has come stopp i could cry
username222 sold out show in melbourne WHAT
fangirl truly the best night of my life (not an exaggeration i fear)
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
y/nusername 48 hours in australia next to miami !!
》 TAYLOR MF SWIFT Y/N WHAT
》 cutest dump ever stfu
》 screamingggg
》 stopp she looks so happy let me sob 😭😭
》 confirmed she loves us aussies 🇦🇺
》 the dress was *chef kisses*
》 storytime rnnnn
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
charlesleclerc miami prep 💪
liked by landonorris, carlossainz, scuderiaferrari, and 1,992,451 others.
user23 oh damn.
username788 holy shit i just woke up
f1fan oml
user00 i'm so jealous of any girl he has ever been with
user23 my dreams are just dreams 😫
f1lover podium plssss
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
y/nusername guess where i am hehe
》 miami gp !!
》 is that charles's car i see 👀
》 "everybody is a ferrari fan"
》 y/n and f1 i'm here for it
》 oh great another influencer being invited to an f1 race
》 oh yessss
》 f1 omggg queen i love youuuu
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
y/nusername a little pit stop before my show tonight ;)
liked by charlesleclerc, taylorswift, sadiesink and 2,728,667 others.
sadiesink ugh i had the best time
f1fan i'm not okay y/n and f1 MY TWO WORLDS COLLIDING
user13 im shooketh
username22 omg sadie and y/n together again i love them smmm
f1lover OMG GUYS WHAT IF SHE WAS THERE FOR CHARLES
user72 this is too insane....but he did like her post so maybeee user23 omgg and on the podium he did wink at someone maybe it was her?!?! f1girl okay not to alarm anyone but i did see him walk into the paddock with y/n 🤭 user23 OMFG ACC
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
charlesleclerc miami the city that keeps the roof blazing
liked by y/nusername, carlossainz, taylorswift and 4,729,901 others.
user23 i love charlos so bad pls never seperate them
f1fan oh girl....
user52 yesss charles back on the podium again
f1girl yesss the caption miami by will smith on toppp
f1lover are u dating y/n???
user626 yesss give the people what they want
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
y/nusername miami you were amazing 💋
liked by taylorswift, charlesleclerc, chappellroan and 3,791,551 others.
user72 mommy
username90 we need the makeup routine rnn
fangirl the pose tonight was crazyyy
user52 omggg i was with my mum fangirl stoppp i would die
user00 her tour fits always eat so bad
f1fan in a perfect universe this would be my life
user22 okayyy what if charles was there?!?
f1lover y/n plsss come to monaco
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
hotones video with y/n out now !!
liked by y/nusername, tyla, charlesleclerc and 426,829 others.
y/nusername I TOLD YOU TO CUT THAT PART OMG GOING TO GO KMS
user627 oop
username22 i mean she has a chance so she might as well shoot her shot
f1fan not charles in the likes this is so messy
user72 oh to have her confidence
username78 omggg she is such a legend for this
f1girl this interview was so good omggg
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
charlesleclerc the best weekend of my life
liked by carlossainz, y/nusername, landonorris and 6,916,411 others.
y/nusername 💗
user62 girl f1fan wait was she there?? user62 nope
carlossainz finally
user562 i actually shed like real tears
f1girl so so proud
user90 im a new fan but this was emotional for me
username82 i hope he knows that we are all so happy for him
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
messages between taylor and y/n
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
y/nusername please please please out now hope you enjoy 🤭🫣
liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, taylorswift and 7,291,081 others.
user72 NOW THIS IS A HARD LAUNCH
username90 i died dead
f1fan fuck idek who i want to be more
taylorswift omggg i'm so shocked i defo didn't know about this for months
y/nusername 😭😭 plsss ily
user62 THE MV WAS SO GODDAMN HOT THE WAY HE WAS LOOKING AT HER OMLLL
f1girl this is just so perfect
user90 i fear im in a state of shock rn
user52 im not even phased cause i saw it coming
landonorris can i plss be in a mv next plssss
user62 helpppp
username11 y/n my queen
taglist⭑.ᐟ
@lottalove4evelyn @sweetestgirlintown111 @mxryxmfooty @hadidsworld @llando4norris @heavy-vettel @love2readd @depressedriches @nichmeddar @seonghwaexile
#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfiction#f1 fluff#masterlist#f1 2024#fic rec#formula 1#f1 blurb#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc smau#miami gp 2024#f1 grid x reader#f1 gifs#f1 instagram au#f1 memes#f1 scenario#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1
1K notes
·
View notes