#I got them both 5 years ago
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birdy-bird27 · 11 months ago
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I think I need to go to sleep soon my brain is once again is being haunted by the sad thoughts
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dreamlogic · 2 months ago
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aye can i get a fuckin uuuhhhh
break. on my burger
#shit chat#family cw#got sicker than i have been in years my bank closed my checking account on accident work is nightmarishly busy#and my mother is sending strings of long voice memos in the family group chat again#i simply will not be listening to them. at most i'll ask my dad or brother for the sparknotes version#bc her pattern for the better part of this year has been radio silence. no attempt at communication whatsoever#and then BAM like 5-10 min worth of voice memos screaming crying sobbing shaking#I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY CHILDREN TO FORGIVE ME. I'M CRAWLING ON MY KNEES ON THE DESERT FOR A HUNDRED YEARS REPENTING#WHAT THE FUCK IS FAMILY FOR YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I'M SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I'M ALONE BECAUSE#MY FAMILY ABANDONED ME. I HAVE NO ONE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I'M BEGGING. I NEED HELP I NEED MY KIDDOS AROUND ME PLEASE I'M DYING#followed by several minutes of sordid updates on her shitty miserable life#which is tbf pretty shitty & miserable. she's extremely physically disabled & mentally ill#her partner had a severe stroke a couple months ago and is still recovering. they've both been in & out of hospital#neither working. partner's adult son who lives with them is the only income in the household#partner's permanently disabled mother also lives with them. plus 2 large dogs 6 cats and 3 each of chickens & ducks#they're in court suing their landlord bc he's trying to evict them but the property is an uninhabitable shithole to begin with#but like. whenever i do make the mistake of responding to one of her groupchat tantrums#she's just like 'oh you know me im a survivor :) i just miss yous is all :) now that you're here i'm gonna bitch about my life for an hour#and ignore everything you have to say and show active disdain & boredom whenever you tell me anything about yourself or your life :)'#and if i offer help she refuses it#like it's just a bid for attention. expecting unconditional love and absolution and salvation from us bc That's What Families Do#she doesn't actually seem to give a shit about any of us as real people. just this ironclad delusion of unconditional family support#that she frankly has not earned#my brother actually did go visit her in the hospital on thanksgiving. driving 2hrs out of his way to do so#and she was a raging passive aggressive bitch to him and threw the gift he'd brought her back in his face#ma'am i know you're Going Through It but so are the rest of us & frankly you've given me zero reason to want to interact w/ ur caustic ass#plus this is petty but yet another way in which she doesn't listen to me & makes no attempt whatsoever at genuine relationship#i've told her numerous times that responding to groupchat voice memos is hard for me. that i love & miss her#and if she wants to see me or needs help or whatever to please contact me one on one either by call or text#nope. refuses to respond to/initiate individual contact. ONLY traumadumping in the fam chat. TLDR MY MOM IS A DISFUNCTIONAL TOXIC NIGHTMARE.
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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago
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just a few little bits from the past few days
#both the word count screenshots are from the same day - just different sections of the text. so that was like 4000 words in#one DAY.. huzzah!! (< making up for the fact that I did 0 words the 3 days before that lol.. so its not actually an accomplishment ghjjh)#In renpy I think you can have multiple separate texty cody whatever documents and still jump between them so long as they;re#labeled properly. Rather than like... having one extremely long 60.000 line file where in some places youre in a menu within a menu#within a menu within a menu within a menu within a menu within a menu jhbhj#But that was the way I started doing it lke 5 years ago when I actually made the base of everything so I feel like it'd be too much#work to change it all that dramatically now. But that means I cant just get the word count for the whole document I just have#to jump around to the few sections I worked on and highlight them to get the word count for only that portion#.. the one tiny fraction of the whole monster text wall. Though it is of course spaced out and organized into#clearly labeled sections within that because otherwise I have trouble discerning text on a screen. still.#Resuming a project that's been basically abandoned for 4-5 ish years is just always finding weird stuff like.. why did I do this that way..#why did I write that... why did I organize that in this manner... what the hell am I referencing in this note... etc. lol#Anyway... also......................cat with plum on his head.#everyone point and laugh at mr. plum head boy..!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:3c#I've been obsessed with Calico Critters' social media presence from afar (like how I mentioned one of my possible dream jobs would#be to be the person that sets the scenes and arranges all the toy animals at a tiny little table and etc. to take the type of pictures they#post on their facebook page and stuff) and I see all their photos of them posing the rabbits as if they're in a swimming pool#or on a nature hike or etc. etc. BUT I have never really seen them in person. Recently I was at a store (in a KN95 mask and not staying#very long still of course. wastewater covid levels are still high where I live (and most of the US truly)) and it just crossed my mind#to actually go to the toy section and see if I could find any....wow.... Its like meeting a celebrity.. the Latte Cats....#Of course I didnt buy them because they're like... very expensive?? like $25 - $40 just for one little pack of a few critters like#what is shown. but.... I still got to see them................ my beloved.. I want their outfits... T o T#Oh and then lastly just a pot of purple clover looking things. I just think theyre neat lol#photo diary
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getoo · 29 days ago
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i'm scared i just made an appointment for the optician to try contact lenses but in order to do that i need to check my eyesight first and the last time i did was a bit over a year ago if it changed enough i need new glasses i'll probably cry
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morrigan-sims · 1 month ago
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another late night / early morning wip pic under the cut
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>:)
#I love that you can just TELL that they hate each other lmao.#I had a lot of revelations about their relationship and about Wymond in general today. It was a lot of fun to figure this stuff out.#morrigan.txt#wip#blender wip#yes I still think about RTQ/ATQH on the regular even though it's been over a year since I posted a story post.#I got the idea to do wedding portraits for Rosalynn and Wymond and also for Maeve and Adelia.#also I'm contemplating changing Rosalynn's middle name?? it literally doesn't matter at all but it makes more sense for her middle name to#be her grandmother's name than her mother's name.#so it would be Rosalynn Gwendolyn Oakes if I remember my family tree notes correctly.#(yes I have family trees of Anvia and Oryn going back to the end of the war. which was ~100 years ago.)#so that's 4 generations for Anvia (5 if you count Fallon's future child) and 3 for Oryn.#I KNOW TOO DAMN MUCH ABOUT THESE DAMN KINGDOMS#I'm never going to get them and their stupid fucked up relationships out of my head.#even though it's not the focus of the story I just love the worldbuilding I came up with for all of it.#and I love Oraine's worldbuilding too. It's so different from both Anvia and Oryn and I love it for that.#and the Empress is SO much fun. She's like a cross between Eleanor Guthrie and this one arcanaloth NPC from one of my campaigns.#but also nothing like either of them at the same time.#idk she's a lot of fun.#who knows if/when I'll ever finish these portrait renders but just thinking about RTQ/ATQH again is a lot of fun.
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redgoldblue · 2 years ago
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for the wip guessing game:
sure, done and/or trouble, please
sure
*looks around* anyone else going insane over gomens? everyone? yeah, okay.
Crowley was never sure how much of that feeling was emotional and how much was just the contact of an angel against the skin of a demon, but was amazed how quickly he’d regardless grown accustomed to it.
done
state of disrepair baby! technically i could have fulfilled all of these from state of disrepair but i decided to go for some variety instead
Steve is scrubbing a handful of tissues across the sticky clear fluid coating his abs, which all things considered is an image Danny could’ve done without, but he stops long enough to look up and joke, “Yeah, I talk you up when you’re not around, Danno. I’m only rude about you to your face.”
trouble
This is a SPN destiel fic that. I have not actively worked on for over a year but I still like it and the premise (Dean gets love-spelled and Cas is the first person he sees! oh no! whatever will the outcome of this be....) so I haven't given up hope of finishing it yet
“I was praying to you in my sleep?” “Not exactly. You just...” He frowned slightly, apparently having trouble verbalising it. “You wanted. Very loudly. It was distracting, so I came in, but you were asleep. And it eased when I got here, so I stayed.”
send me a word and i’ll tell you the sentence it appears in in my wips!
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theiris1002 · 2 years ago
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A new picture of snoots take because I think it's been awhile since I posted one. He loves going under his water dish (it used to be snakeys but I rehomed him)
((I ended up venting in the tags about why I rahomed snakey))
#snakes#snake#snoot the hognose#my pets#i do miss snakey but i was the best thing in hindsight he was draining all of the energy i had for pet care#he only ever ate live consistently and i only got a car 3 days ago#and the only place that sells snake food for a good price is a 40 minute bus ride away#and my job put me on a opposite sleep scedule to him it got to the point where i would be geting ready for bed see him awake#and feel nothing but dread and then he wouldn't even eat so i stayied up for nothing#i got him to eat frozen for like 2 years but he would never eat it in the winter but then i moved him into a 4x2x2#because the tank snoot was in was agravating my anxiety and i figured upgradeing both of them was a good idea#but he only ever ate frozen twice in that take maybe 5 times total as i got him live so he wouldn't starve#i brought him to a localy owned reptile store and they said he looked healthy and they weren't woried about getting him to eat#i got snaky when i was 13 and had no idea what i was doing snoot kinda taught how nice it was to have a snake that would eat frozen thawed#right as i was becoming an adult that had to take more responsibility for my pets#all in all it was a good desition because i would not have had the energy to make snoots take as nice as it is now or get marcus at all let#let alone plan on makeing his life better#wow geez i just vented alot but the situation around snakey was complicated and emotional for me#and i did post a few picures a long time ago and i dont think i ever said what happed to him#also i blame petsmart for everything they told me the 13 year old that he was only eating live but not my mom#she apparently only found out when she looked at his paperwork he shouldn't have even been out where people could see him
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thepandalion · 6 days ago
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just had to pause mid reading a fic because a character assumed another character's age (as in, assuming they're a kid. which I mean. canonically 14 at the time I guess?) and like. as a person who has that happen to me. I would not allow that to continue to be a conversation
#literally TWO DAYS AGO a stranger assumed I was 12#for the record. Im 21. that person saw me at uni and instead of assuming Im an adult getting a degree assumed Im on a school program#like started the conversation with “so why ARE a bunch of schoolchildren here?”#and when I said I didnt know. asked if Im just on a different school program to the other kids#like.... maam. I graduated high school 5 years ago#if someone came up to me and said “oh I'm sure this event will be boring to a kid your age” I'd straight up Leave#I'd go “an adult actually. thanks for your input tho” and leave#also did do that before when I was 19 and working at a middle school (library volunteer)#a teacher walked into the faculty break room and saw me and went “kids arent allowed” to which both me and the principal said I work there#and then I left to go eat my lunch outside#like I am properly employed here and you treat me like a student. what the fuck#I hate when ppl assume things about me. like I know I look like a 12 year old girl. but like. Im neither of those things#like I have pronoun pins on my bags and nb shoelaces and pronouns sticker in my phone case and am. legally an adult. for 3 years now#but ppl see short and blond and wears bright colors and go “ah. thats a little girl”#gonna be real fucking embarrassing for them when I have a phd and would correct them to “actually I work here” at uni#and yeah ok its a medical condition my entire family has#my mom is always assumed to be a couple decades younger (people sometimes ask if she's my sister sorta “couple decades younger”)#and I know people assume my 30 year old sister just graduated high school despite the fact that she too is working on a phd right now#but they both have brown hair and idk how but I think my blond hair does play a part in people assuming Im not even a teenager#like. I start getting anxious when theres kids around. because I'm worried someone will lump me in to their group#legit got so upset at that happening to a fanfic character I felt the need to write an angry vent post about it#anyways hot take but assuming. anything. about anyone. is a bad idea
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irndad · 5 months ago
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i wish i knew you wanted me - s.r.
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a/n: okay this ended up being so so long forgive me!!! i hope you like<3 summary: based loosely on 'bad habit'. spencer got asked out by reader 5 years ago, when he was recovering from his dilaudid addiction, and turned her down. now, he's in love with her, and pining for her. also, jealous!spencer. she fell first, he fell harder. wc: ~2k
She’s very pretty. It’s distracting. Right now, she’s staring intently at his hands, and he feels hot under her gaze. It’s been a while since he’s done this, the little rocket trick, but she’s visiting the office, and Garcia had mentioned he’s a magician. 
“That’s incredible!” She exclaims, a giggle in her laugh, and he feels the swoop of his stomach, the butterflies of it all, “You got them so high up!”
“It’s just physics,” he laughs, meeting her warm gaze. Her smile is one for the ages. 
She’s here dropping off a file. They’ve known eachother a really long time, actually. She was an expert witness for them, once, years ago. She spoke with ease, both on the stand and in person. Equal measure kind and measured, and Spencer had adored her on first glance. They’d met when he was just getting clean from Dilaudid, and Spencer’s been in love with her since not long after than first meeting. That’s pretty much the only thing about her he wishes he could take back. 
He still has a hard time thinking about it, the fact that he met her when he was barely himself. Still, she’d been kind, listened to him talk and let the others tell her that he was…going through something. It was on his two month sobriety date (which she’d had no way of knowing) that she’d asked him out. 
Sometimes, when he can’t sleep, he replays the memory in his head. How she works just south of their office, and how they’d meet at the café nearest, and chat for an hour before calling a cab home. 
On the other side of the veil, he can picture that night, years ago now. How she’d looked with the snow kissing her nose, dotting the edges of her faux-fur hood. She’d stuck out her tongue to catch a snowflake, and he’d almost combusted and the adorability of it. 
“You look nice,” she’d said, although at the time he’s pretty sure he looked gaunt. He’d only recently started to gain the weight back- but still, her praise felt like stardust. 
“You look nicer,” he’d said back, gently bumping her shoulder as a fond gesture. Her little grin is well-worth how awkward they both look on the street.
“Listen,” she had said, stuffing her hands into her pockets, the size of the coat causing her hands to disapear from sight entirely, “I asked JJ and Morgan, and they said you’re not seeing anyone.”
“Oh, yeah. They love reminding me of that. Not everyone can be like Morgan and have dated half the western hemsiphere.”
He felt embarrassed, her watching him. It’s nice, but sometimes feels like staring into the sun. 
Her chuckle was nervous, not fully reaching her eyes. 
“You okay? 
“Yeah,” she swallowed again, before speaking, “I was wondering, um, if you might want to grab a drink with me?”
“Sure,” he’d replied back, amenably. He couldn’t tell why she looked so nervous, “I can’t really do hard liquor, though. Maybe we can invite the team.”
“No, Spence, I was wondering if you and I could go on a um, a date.”
And he’s frozen. Because this might be the second time he’d ever been asked out, and second, this might be his dream girl. She’s gorgeous and kind and she’s in front of him, asking him out. 
“I um,” his mouth was dry. He’d be a bad boyfriend. He was a recovering drug addict who already was bad at talking to people, and she lit up a room whenever she walked in. She finds him easy to be with, easy to care for and he’s bound to fuck it up. He couldn’t imagine giving that up because he was too greedy to take what he got. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
He almost took it back with incredible speed, with that flash of disapointment on her lovely face, and the knowledge that it’s because she wanted him, before she quickly regained her speech.
“That’s totally alright! We’ll just be good friends, yeah?”
In the here and now, they are friends. Best of, really. And he made the right choice. He’d lashed out at Emily a month later in a withdrawl, and he knows that he’d have done the same to her, and now, she’s still in his life. 
The drawbacks of course, to being her friend, means she has dates. Boyfriends, as well, and he’s been a…friend, through it all. Good friend. She’s never suspeced him of anything more, of course, after he’d categorically rejected it. 
(Even though this rejection plays in his head all the fucking time, like a torturous groundhog day.)
She’s beautiful today, a blue blouse with a scarf lazily around her neck, and the way she’s leaning over his desk to see the  trick before she drops off her analysis. 
“Alright, Spence,” she says, her rose perfume wafting in the air prior to her hopping off the corner, “Did you need anything else? Today is my half-day, and Harry wanted to take me to Art Insititute.”
Harry, is the boy on rotation at the moment. Spencer has no impulse control and a super-computer expert best friend, so Spencer knows that Harry is 6’0 on his Driver’s License, and is a Financial Analyst. Spencer knows from her own mouth that this will be the third date, and that he’s a little boring but she’s attracted to the fact that he was direct and wanted to go out again. 
Low bar, but one Spencer couldn’t even clear. He doesn’t say any of that, though.
“That sounds fun,” he says, instead of saying that he’d love to walk her through the inscriptions on each art piece, love to kiss her in front of something thats’ beauty does not come close to her’s. “Are you thinking it might run long, or are we still doing the bookstore and TV at mine after?”
He’s been looking forward to this all week. He bought special marshmallows for her cocoa. He also htes to imagine her date running long. 
“Nah,” she smiles, “besides, he’s just some guy. You’re Spencer.”
Morgan doesn’t say anything when he looks down at his. paperwork, and scribbles instead of thinking, the best he can. 
________________________________
Don’t think about the fact she was on a date. Don’t think about how Harry might have got to kiss her. Just don’t bring it up. 
“How was the date?”
She shrugged, pulling at the spine of a hardcover novel. 
“It was fine. Like I said, he was kind of boring.”
“So why’d you go out with him again?”
“I dunno, Spence, I just… I want a boyfriend, you know? I want someone to want to be with me.”
She is so beautiful. She laughs with her whole chest, and she listens to his stories and chimes in with her own expertise. She has a voice that seems like it’s spun gold thread, and he’d give anything to kiss her. 
“I get that,” he says, instead of anything he’s thinking. She’s wearing brown lipstick, transfer proof. He’s in love with her. “There’s got to be guys lining up for a girl like you.”
“That’s a nice thought, Spence. Not the ones I’d like.”
___________________________
This thought haunts his evening, and when he parks and they start the walk-up to his apartment, a confession hammering at his throat, a physical urge. She’s giggling at some long physics joke he’d made, and he’s addicted to the soft bell of her laughter.
His apartment is small and lovely, and he enjoys having her in the small and dark of the night, the sun set over what he wishes were two lovers. 
“You are really pretty, you know,” he says, once she’s settled into his chest, a sick satisfaction of knowing Harry got a quick thank you text before she darted over to Spencer’s arms. 
“Thanks, Spencer. You’re a good friend.”
“Why do you always say that?”
“That you’re a good friend?”
“I’m not saying you’re pretty because I’m a good friend. I’m saying it because it’s true, and I enjoy saying true things.” 
“You don’t…I don’t know why you’re saying that, Spencer. We’re friends and I adore you and I’m here right now, but you don’t need to make it harder on me.”
She looks nervous, and a little disapointed. He wants her to know, that even if he’s missed his shot, she’s not going to be alone. He’s gonna spend the rest of his life hating whoever knew to take the best thing offered to him, but Spencer- he knows he is not going to be the last to love her. He grabs her hand without thinking, her doe eyes peering into his with some emotion he can’t pin down. 
“Hey, I’m not trying…to make anything hard for you. I don’t ever want to do that. I just… some day someone’s gonna see you and want to be with you and I’m going to watch it and know it was inevitable.” 
The words taste like barbed wire. 
Ask me again, he wants to beg, I’m ready now. I’ll do it right. 
Is that even true? Is it just that he wants her bad enough he’s willing to risk not doing it right?
“You’re so sweet,” she sobs, and oh, she’s crying. Just a little, but tears prick at the corners of her eyes. “You make it so hard to be your friend. And I know that’s my problem, that you’ve always been straight up with me. I asked you out and you said no, and I know that-“
“I know that I was too late, and freaked out about being with someone like you when I was still so fucked up.” they’re so close to eachother, he can smell her chapstick. His chest aches. “Sweetheart, that had nothing to do with you. It was all me. It’s a train I missed that I’m gonna spend the rest of my life wishing I’d caught.”
He feels uncomfortably bare, even in the oversized sweater that she’d gotten him last Christmas, and that he’d pretended had been from his lover all of that week. But it’s important that she knows.
“What do you mean, ‘too late’?”
Her voice is small, so quiet he barely hears it. She threads her nimble fingers into his slender ones, and his heart is hammering. 
“I-I was on Dilaudid, or just barely off, you know- you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me. You asked me out when you didn’t even know that.”
“I know you now. Years worth of knowing.”
“And you haven’t asked me since.” 
“Spencer,” her voice is warm, rich like silk and grainy old music, and he wants to drink this image in, her fingers stroking the side of his face like he’s holy. He wonders if he’s dreaming, with how good she feels to be so close to. 
Ask me again, he wants to beg. I’m ready, now. 
“Spencer Walter Reid,” she says, properly holding his hand, bringing her soft lips to his hand, kissing his knuckle. He feels anointed, blessed by a higher power. “Could I take you out on a date?”
“Yes,” he says, finally. Five years of waiting melts away as he kisses her, warmth and light seeping into existence, a dream brought to tangible life, to touch and reality, “Actually, wait,” he says, and finishes before her face can fall, “Would you be my girlfriend?”
It’s maybe playing his cards too much, but her wide, ear to ear splitting grin is everything he needs to see, everything he might need to see for the rest of his life. 
“Took you long enough, boy-genius.”
“All you had to do was ask again!”
If she has a complaint about that, it certainly couldn’t be heard by the many, many kisses that would follow. 
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chleem · 2 months ago
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Mr & Mrs Starkey
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One shot: husband drew x wife yn 
Summary: In which your 5 year-old son catches you kissing santa claus, oblivious to the fact that it's just drew under the costume.
Genre: fluff, smut (shower sex , read at own caution
⋆.˚ please dont copy or translate my work!
♡⸝⸝ merry xmas! | mistletoe | halloween
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
You lean against the doorframe of the shared bedroom, watching ‘Santa Claus’ place wrapped gifts under the Christmas tree. 
Drew’s movements are very sloppy, due to the big red suit he’s wearing. 
“Seems like Santa needs to lose some weight,” you tease, not even trying to hide how funny you find his situation. 
Recently, your son, Ben learned about Santa Claus and how he brings presents to kids, and like any curious five-year-old, he's completely captivated by the idea of ‘catching’ Santa. The details of his plan are a little hazy to you—he mentioned it about a month ago, but you forgot the specifics.
You told Drew that no costume was necessary; just eat the cookies on the table and put the presents in place. But Drew insisted. And now, here he is, awkwardly fumbling around in a full Santa suit. 
Placing the last gift under the tree, he turns around, his white beard and hat threatening to slip off. His blue eyes meets yours with annoyance, lips pressed in a thin line. “Well, usually my elves do this.”
You giggle, finding Drew’s dedication to the part funny and cute. “Okay, Mr Claus,” you walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “take a break and have some cookies, huh?”
The annoyance in his eyes fade away, his shoulders relaxing under your touch. “You could’ve been my elf,” he murmurs, hands wrapping around your waist. 
“But I’m Mrs Claus, remember? I stay home, do dishes, yadayada,” you joke, rolling your eyes dramatically. “leave the heavy work- important work to you.”
Drew parts his mouth, looking down at you with a knowing look. 
“I did wrap the presents, didn’t I?” You continue to say. “Doesn’t that count for being an elf? I picked out the gifts, payed for it, set the tree up with Ben-“
Drew’s lips aggressively thrusts itself into yours; tongue fighting for access. You gasp into his mouth; taken aback by the abrupt action. That allows the slip of his tongue, tangling in with yours. 
The cheap fake beard makes it hard to concentrate though; the rough hairs getting in between. 
You pull away from him; eyes hooding with a soft smile on your lips. “Rude.”
“You talk too much sometimes,” he murmurs, a hand going up to cup your face. 
“Isn’t that why you married me-“
He plants his lips on yours again, and you giggle against his lips. 
Drew laughs too; the warmth between you two palpable, the quiet intimacy of the moment almost too perfect. Drew’s hand, still cupping your face, gently tugs you closer, his thumb brushing over your cheek in that way that always makes you melt. The kiss deepens, slow and soft, as if he’s savoring every second of it. 
When you finally pull away, both of you breathless, you find yourself caught in his gaze. It’s that look—the one that makes your heart race, the one that feels like he’s seeing straight into you. You smile, your heart fluttering a little more than it should.
“Maybe I do talk too much,” you tease, your voice barely above a whisper.
He smirks, his fingers tracing along the line of your jaw. “You can talk as much as you want... as long as it’s with me.”
The attempt to sound sweet and lovely is ruined by your incapability of staying serious; because how could you, when Drew’s fake beard is crooked and he’s got this silly red suit with the big belly on? 
“What now?” Drew murmurs, eyeing the silly grin on your face.
“I’m kissing Santa Claus,” you chuckle, reaching up to give his beard a playful tug.
He pauses for a moment, his eyes looking at you with a mischievous glint to them. 
“You naughty girl,” masked with a chuckle, a seductive tone is laced in his words, matching the smirk that’s hidden beneath the white beard. Drew leans in again, catching you in another kiss. 
This time, however, his hands start to roam around your body, feeling the material of your thick hoodie. 
His lips travel down your neck, kissing wherever is exposed. 
You let soft moans escape your mouth; the erotic feeling building in your lower stomach. With a hitched and breathless voice, you ask, “hey Drew?”
He lazily hums against your skin, hands resting just above your ass. 
“Wanna help me shower?” you whisper seductively into his ear, tugging the Santa hat off his head.
Drew pulls back slightly, an amused smile tugging at his lips as he looks down at you. “Y’know you don’t need to ask…”
You plant a kiss on his jaw, soft but deliberate, before moving away, your hand tugging at his sleeve as you make your way toward the bathroom. But Drew doesn’t follow, a thoughtful look painted all over him. 
“Stockings…” he murmurs, looking over his head at the fireplace, with the stockings that he needs to fill as ‘Santa Claus’.
You sigh, knowing exactly where this is going. After all, both of you are suckers for your son, always willing to put everything aside just to see his smile. You glance at Drew, trying to look annoyed, but the soft smile on your face betrays the affection you feel for him—and the family you’ve built together.
“Fine. I’ll shower alone,” you start, readjusting the fake beard he has on. “And I’ll leave Santa to his duties.”
“Thank you,” he sourly replies, his frown evident though the thick beard. 
“Yeah,” you murmur, your lips matching the expression he has. You pat his shoulder, before turning around, making your way to the bathroom. 
You make sure to add an extra sway to your hips, a lame attempt to convince Drew to ditch his costume and join you. 
But nope. Not even when you start stripping, leaving the door open for him to peek. 
——
The bathroom was thick with steam, the fog clouding the mirror as the water poured from the shower head.
You stand underneath the spray; getting ready to wash your body next. 
When you reach for the soap, a much larger hand takes hold of yours, stopping you. You glance over your shoulder, and sure enough, Drew, who presses his body close. 
“Hi,” you flirtatiously start, which comes out more hitched. 
Feeling the soft press of his tip against your back, the breathing gets much harder to steady. 
The temperature in here is definitely rising- not because of the shower. 
“You mad?” Drew’s voice comes out low, a soft smile on his lips as he turns you around to face him. 
You don’t miss the quick glance down to your tits; his gaze lingering longer there than it should be. 
You cock your head to the side, pretending to think it over, but the teasing glint in your eyes gives you away. His hands move to your waist, rubbing circles over your skin, his blue eyes searching yours for an answer.
Your lack of response serves as an invitation for Drew to start planting kisses along your neck, lingering longer on your sweet-spots. 
“Drew…” you softly moan, the thoughts forgotten as he starts sucking the skin on your neck. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, bringing him closer than he already is. His hands find themselves traveling down your body, squeezing your waist, ass, thighs, anywhere he likes. 
“I like this,” he murmurs against your skin, as his hand squeezes your ass again. 
“Mhm,” you lazily hum, running your hands through his wet hair, feeling his aroused dick brushing against your pussy. Shit.
His hands hook under your thighs; lifting you up effortlessly. And because of all the times you've done this, you instinctively wrap your legs tightly around his waist, pinning you against the tiled wall. 
This position causes his dick to brush against your inner thigh; your tits brushing his chest. 
“I like….”
Leaning against the wall, your gaze locks with his hooded blue eyes, feeling the weight of his stare on your lips. “…the way you take me in.”
You chuckle at Drew’s attempt at talk dirty, something you’ll always find amusing throughout your marriage with him. Okay, you liked it, but who were you if you didn’t play along with it? “Well, show me how much you like it.”
A dorky grin Drew fails to suppress shows on his lips, his hands’ gripping tightly on your flesh. His eyes flash down look at the closed proximity you both are in; before quickly flickering back up. 
That makes the blood rush to your cheeks, a flush creeping over your skin. 
“Gonna-“ he leans in and catches your lips in a messy kiss, his teeth pulling on your bottom lip. “-fuck your brains out.”
You breathlessly giggle at that too, your eyes softly focused on Drew, a smitten look in them. 
Without another comment, Drew adjusts his hips, and you feel his cock slowly entering you. Glancing down, your breath hitches as he thrusts in; deeply nested inside. 
“Fuck,” you moan out, tilting your head to rest against the wall.
The showering water that flows down might as well serve as lubricant- yet your walls still feel tight.
Your eyes close for a moment; and you feel Drew’s lips on your neck again- kissing hard enough to leave hickeys. He eventually trails down, lips coming in contact with your breasts. 
He groans as your hands travel down his neck, before tightening around his shoulders. Your nails dig in, averting the pressure there. 
“Drew…” you whine, hoping he starts moving, your eyes flustering open. 
He pulls away, his mouth opened slightly with the same smitten look in his eyes. “…looking at you like this-“ he delivers a thrust to your core; the shock of it causing a loud moan to escape your lips. He chuckles at that, before finishing his words, “makes me wanna put another baby in you.”
“Shit,” you breathe out, as his hips start to roughly slam into yours; one of his hands coming up to play with your tits. The sensation of his thick cock thrusting into you is enough to blur out his words. 
Your body bounces with each rough push his hips drill into your pussy- matching the moans escaping your mouth. He grunts, the sound matching the rising heat in the room, each exhale thick with the intensity building between you.
“F-feels so good,” you mumble.
“Feels good, yeah?” He chuckles lowly, repeating your words. You watch as a grin tugs itself at the corner of his lips, his blue eyes staring lustfully into yours. “Buried with my cock- you look pretty, babe.”
His words, the fast pace, his hands roaming all over sends an alarm to your core, your orgasm building and threatening to explode. 
“Fuck,” you moan, your walls clenching around him as he readjusts you; allowing his dick to thrust into the familiarity of your g-spot. “I’m, c-close”
“Yeah?” Drew kisses the corner of your lips, his moves never stopping. “Right on my cock, baby.”
His lips catches yours again, kissing you clumsily and swallowing the soft sounds you produced. 
The knot in your stomach goes undone- and you feel the warm liquid erupting out of you, over Drew’s cock. You clench around him again, as he continues his pace to chase out his own high. 
His moves become sloppier, his lips pulling away as his dick twitches inside of you, his cream painting your walls white. 
“Shit,” he chuckles, slowly pulling out to leave the tip inside you, just to push fully back in again. 
You chuckle tiredly at that, as he shoves his cum deep into your cunt. “Oh, Drew…” your tone comes out almost like a whine, your throat going hoarse. 
You don’t even try to hide how limp your body is, muscles giving out on holding onto Drew. 
“My beautiful wife,” he almost purrs, blue eyes staring into yours in a smitten way that makes the butterflies in your stomach to fly widely loose. He sets you down on the floor slowly, helping you regain your balance. 
You let his warm hands brush away the hair sticking to the side of your face, the shower head pouring warm water over both of you.
You stand in silence, staring into each other's eyes, both trying to regain your composure from the intensity of the sex. 
“Love it when you talk dirty to me,” you suddenly say, your tone a mix of teasing and heat, a sly smile playing on your lips.
Drew catches onto that; his lips curving into a smirk. His hands slips back to your waist, settling there as if it belongs. “I’k what my girl likes.”
“Geez, what a man,” you tease, your breath catching as his fingers trace over your skin. “Knows what his girl wants.”
You lean in and kiss him briefly, yet pouring your emotions into it. He returns it; bringing one hand up to cup your face, angling it to allow access to his tongue. 
Fuck.
After six years of marriage, he can still easily turn you on like a switch—effortlessly, every damn time. 
You pull away, catching the fucked-out look in Drew’s eyes, the blue beaming down at you. “I’m sleepy,” you murmur, which was your meaning of ‘fuck me in bed, I’m tired’.
“‘Kay,” he murmurs, rubbing circles along your jaw, “let me, give you the princess treatment first, yeah?”
You snort at his words, as he reaches behind you to grab the soap. You don’t miss his low chuckle, even finding his own words funny. 
You relax, and let Drew give you the luxurious ‘princess treatment’, cleaning you up and ready for bed. 
——
Christmas morning
“Ben’s acting weird…”
You whisper to Drew, as you place the dishes into the sink. You spare subtle glances over at your son, sitting on the couch. 
His attention is fixed on the TV, his new toy in hand—opened first, his excitement obvious.
Drew leans against the counter, sipping on the third cup of coffee he made this morning. Last night, well, both of you didn’t get much sleep. He furrowed his eyebrows at you, before shrugging. “No?”
“Um, not to you,” you keep your voice low, standing next to Drew as you both watch the living room.
During breakfast, Ben had been shy, avoiding your gaze and giving short answers to your questions. But he seemed perfectly fine when you tucked him into bed yesterday. “Did I do something last night?”
Drew snickers, and when you glance at him, he casually unzips his jacket. With a smug grin, he reveals the hickeys you’d left on his neck last night. 
Shit. This man is a dad, and he can’t seem to be serious at all during times like this.
His grin escalates into laughter when you roll your eyes at him, pushing his shoulder lightly. “I’m serious. Ask him for me, will you?”
“Alright, alr- I’ll do it.”
Drew doesn’t move, taking another sip of his coffee. 
You send him a glare, along with aggressively zipping his jacket back up. 
“You mean now, got it,” he chuckles, putting the cup down. You shake your head at him, a smile reappearing on your lips as he walks away. 
You busy yourself by scrolling through your Insta, liking posts you don’t care about. The soft whispers you hear are barely audible, drowned out by the TV and the occasional rumble of Ben’s toy.
It’s about two minutes in when you hear Drew’s throaty laugh through the house, Ben hurriedly yelling, “daddy! Quiet!”
“You got anything to support that?” Drew’s voice comes through, his attempt at keeping quiet failing miserably.
You glance up just in time to see Ben jump off Drew’s lap, rushing toward his room.
Meeting Drew’s gaze, you raise an eyebrow, skeptical. You walk over and sit down beside him, waiting for an explanation.
“You’ll see. It’s hilarious,” Drew says with a grin, clearly trying to hold back a laugh. You give him a sideways glance, not buying it for a second. 
Ben runs back, his familiar blue eyes meeting yours for a split second before he quickly looks away.
“Wanna show Mommy what’s in your hand?” you chirp, your gaze landing on the toy camera you bought him a few months ago, now clutched tightly in his small hands.
He ignores you; walking straight into Drew’s arms. 
“Well that’s rude,” you murmur, but both father and son remain oblivious, their attention now fully on the toy camera.
As you try to sneak a peek, Drew leans away with a mischievous grin, clearly enjoying whatever he’s looking at. Ben, on the other hand, glances at it nervously, his small brow furrowing in worry. 
Your curiosity grows by the minute, heightening when Ben says, “is mommy in trouble?”
His big, doe blue eyes meets yours again, and he looks like a sad puppy (much like his dad sometimes). It melts your heart; again proving you could never be mad at this kid. 
His dad, on the other hand, you might choke him to death if he doesn’t explain what’s going on right now. 
“Why don’t you tell mommy?” Drew teases, his hand rubbing Ben’s stomach in an assuring way. 
You can see the thought process on Ben’s face, the pout deepening as he concentrates. His small brows furrow, eyes narrowing in serious contemplation.
Finally, Ben points his little finger at you, his voice loud and clear. “Mommy kissed Santa Claus!”
Your mouth drops open in shock as your mind races through the events of last night. Shit. You kissed Drew, who was dressed as Santa. Then the shower together- But how did Ben catch you? Was he out of bed? Did he—
Drew flips the small toy camera’s screen toward you, revealing a paused video. There’s no mistaking it: it's you, mid-kiss, with Drew in his Santa costume.
Oh. So this was his great plan of catching Santa Claus. A hidden camera.
Your face flushes as you look back at Drew, who’s struggling to suppress his laugh. You quickly cover your mouth, trying to hide the matching smile creeping onto your lips.
“Oh, Ben, honey,” you start, your voice sweet but a little flustered. His eyes glance up at you, eagerly awaiting your response. Relax, he’s only a five-year old kid. “Santa needed help with the presents…and mommy helped him.”
You flash a small smile, hoping he’ll understand. Ben looks up at you with a puzzled face, clearly not buying it. 
Dammit, five-year olds are getting too smart these days. 
“Don’t worry; mommy’s on the good girls’ list,” Drew adds on, clearly enjoying this. 
You shoot him a glare - really? “Ben, mommy would never kiss Santa,” you say firmly. “I was hugging him- see?”
“But you kiss daddy like that all the time,” Ben loudly comments, fidgeting nervously. 
A soft laugh leaves Drew’s mouth, absolutely no help to his situation. Great, just another reminder to yourself to maybe keep the affectionate touches to a minimum around Ben in the future.
“Okay,” you start, trying to steer the conversation back to safer waters. “Yes, Mommy and Daddy kiss sometimes, but Santa—he's just, well, he’s just here to deliver the gifts. That’s all.”
You glance at Drew, who’s still trying (and failing) to hide his grin. “Right, Drew?” you add, shooting him a look that says get it together.
“Right, right,” Drew says quickly, trying to sound serious. 
“So, Ben,” you turn your gaze back to your son, holding his tiny hand. Gosh, he’s adorable. “Santa's just doing his job to make Christmas magical. Okay?”
Ben nods slowly, his tiny face scrunching as he seems to take it all in. “Okay, mommy.”
You smile fondly at him, reaching your arms out.
He lets out a laugh that’s eerily similar to Drew’s, a lighter sound as he buries into your embrace. The sound of his laughter fills the room, bringing a sense of joy to your heart.
Somehow, with all its goofiness, it’s moments like this that make everything feel so right.
You press a kiss to the top of his head, as he snuggles against you, you can’t help but think—god, he’s basically a mini version of Joseph Andrew Starkey.
“Mommy loves you,” you say, as Ben pulls away. 
“I love you too, Mommy,” he mumbles, his voice soft but genuine. Like every kid, though, his attention span is short. His eyes drift over to the Christmas tree, where a few presents remain under the glittering lights. “Can I open the rest?”
You nod at him, and Ben takes off immediately, racing towards the Christmas tree. You can't help but smile as you watch him grab the first big present in front of him, tearing it apart. 
Although, your smile falters as your eyes drift back to Drew. He’s lounging on the couch, a lazy smile on his lips as he watches Ben, clearly amused.
Without thinking, you slap his stomach a bit roughly, causing him to flinch in his seat.
"Hey!" Drew protests quietly, his eyes widening in surprise as he looks at you. "What was that for?”
“Really? ‘Good girls’ list’?” you shoot back, raising an eyebrow at him.
He scoots himself closer to you, his smirk deepening, “you definitely took it like a good girl last night.”
Fuck. 
You freeze, his words hanging in the air, sending a shockwave through your chest.
"God, you're impossible,” you groan, slapping his hand away, the one trying to slip under your cardigan. 
Drew’s throaty laugh escapes again, wanting to further tease you when Ben interrupts the short conversation. 
He proudly shows off the present he got from ‘Santa’; a toy truck that he’s been begging for since forever. His small hands grip the toy truck, eyes wide with excitement.
The warmth of the moment radiates off you, and everything else fades away. Ben’s joy fills the room, and for a moment, it’s as if time stands still. 
The Christmas tree lights flicker softly in the background, casting a gentle glow, and the world outside feels distant, as if nothing else matters.
What a jolly merry Christmas. 
-------------------------------
word count: 3.6k
ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: i want drew's kids. and i hate kids. but i want his.
other | mistletoe | hallow's eve
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verdantchan · 25 days ago
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Always You
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Pairing: Best friend! Bangchan x Afab! Reader
Summary: It’s hard to enjoy a party when your best friend who you’ve been in love with for years turns up with his girlfriend…
Warnings: MDNI, dom!chan, sub!reader, possessive!chan, unprotected sex (don’t be like them) dirty talk, cum eating, multiple orgasms (f!rec) fingering (f!rec) mentions of mastubation, spitting (chan spits on it yk..) tummy bulge, creampie
Wc: 2.7k
a/n: did I write and edit it this in one sitting? yes I did,,, is this also my return to writing fics after 5 years bc I’m so attracted to chan idk what to do?? Also yes 🤪
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‘‘Lixieee watch my drink, I nearly dropped it’’ You roll your eyes and smile at Felix as he practically jumps on you. His parties were always rowdy, especially when Jisung wormed his way into the planning. Colourful lights strewn around every pillar and doorway, countless bottles and cheesy red cups littering the granite countertops in the dorm kitchen, the air thick with smoke and the sickly sweet scent of liquor.
Part of you loved how committed the boys were to throwing the most stereotypical frat parties, the perfect way to unwind from the stress of uni life. You scan the room for that all too familiar face but find no sign of him, your shoulders dropping slightly, the disappointment in your chest too strong to ignore.
You and Chan had been best friends since you were 12, your parents pushing you together as an unlikely duo. You'd immediately become inseparable,spending every second with each other. People had always questioned your relationship, everyone thought you must be dating if you were so close, but you and Chan were just friends, at least that's what you convinced yourself it had to be.
You first started having feelings for Chan at 18, you were university freshmen starting the next big chapter of your lives together and you couldn't get him out of your head. His deep brown eyes that sparkled when he spoke about the things he loved, his soft curly black hair that you loved ruffling to annoy him and his dimples that became impossibly deep when he smiled. Being around him was both torture and comfort. Three years later and you were still completely in love with someone who views you as his best friend, nothing more. In other words, you're utterly fucked.
‘’Lix, have you seen Chan tonight? I thought he was coming’’  Felix still clinging to you in his tipsy state. His messy blonde hair slightly covering his eyes and freckle-dotted cheeks, a pink blush dusting his skin thanks to the many drinks he’d already knocked back.
‘’Nah not yet, he said he's coming later after his date’’ he slurs his words a little, all giggly and happy, not knowing the ache his words cause you. You hum in response, suddenly feeling less sociable than a few minutes ago.
‘’Ahhhhh speak of the devil’’ Felix laughs and nods toward the doorway, Chan's broad shoulders making it look tiny. His hand interlocked with hers, observing the room and briefly locking eyes with you before looking away.
Chan had been dating Euna for a few months, but it never got easier seeing them together. 
They'd met in one of your classes, Euna was sweet, pretty  and very popular with both the students and teachers. It hadn’t taken Chan too long to fall for her and spend less and less time with you. He swore nothing had changed between you two but you knew better. It wasn't long after they started dating that Chan began cancelling your plans because ‘Euna planned something’ or he ‘just couldn't make it that day’ You wanted to believe that it would all go back to the way it was soon enough but that day never came, Chan drifting further as time passed. 
You missed his smile, the way he would make you laugh, the way he would bring you your favourite food when you were tired or upset. You thought that maybe one day you would be together, that Chan would see you as more than just his best friend. Sometimes it felt like more between you two. 
He and Euna weave their way through the crowd, her trailing slightly behind, Chan looking back at her every so often with a smile, the sight of them making you nauseous though you wish it didn't. Chan lets go of her to pull Felix into a hug, Euna eyeing you awkwardly as the two of them catch up. Euna had never been rude to you, never made a snarky comment about you being friends with Chan, but she never really said much around you if you were honest. 
‘’Your dress is super pretty’’ you squeak out attempting to break the silence between you two, She offers up a small thank you and a tight smile and turns to Chan as he pulls her into his side, his attention now on the two of you instead of the tipsy blonde Aussie
 ‘’Hey y/n’’ Chan smiles as he lets go of Euna and pulls you into a quick side hug, letting go as quickly as he’d pulled you in, his soft musky scent filling your senses. The four of you make small talk, Chan's eyes catching your own as Felix rambles to Euna about his current pc build. The air starts to feel suffocating, his glances making you feel trapped. You quickly make an excuse to leave, Chan's smile faltering as you excuse yourself from their conversation and disappear into the crowd of bodies. 
It was impossible to think while Chan was standing there, his arms wrapped around Euna unapologetically. The jealousy burning more than the straight tequila sloshing around in your cup, you start to sway to the music begging yourself to forget about him and enjoy your night. You feel a pair of eyes follow your silhouette but you continue to drink and dance, the alcohol making its way through your system and drowning out every thought.
 You feel a figure behind you grabbing your hips and swaying with you, turning your head to see the blurred outline of Hyunjin, his hair in his eyes, a pair of red sunglasses perched on his nose. You let yourself melt into him, you'd always found him attractive anyway. You and Hyunjin move together perfectly, his smooth movements guiding your own as he whispers the lyrics to the song in your ear, his plump lips catching your skin slightly. You finally move your eyes to Chan still feeling someone watching you, secretly wishing it was him. You’re met with a sharp glare, his eyes never leaving you and Hyunjin, his jaw locked in annoyance, you roll your eyes at him and turn around to face Hyunjin winding your arms around his slender neck. 
You turn back to glance at Chan to find him charging your way, ripping you from your dance partner's embrace and towards the stairwell. 
‘’Chan what the fuck are you doing?’’ you yell, trying to wriggle your wrist from his strong grip as he pulls you upstairs and into one of the empty bedrooms.
‘’What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck are YOU doing y/n? Grinding all over Hyunjin like that’’
‘’We are not doing this right now, why does it have anything to do with you, Chan? Why do you even care?’’ venom coating your words, attempting to open the door and leave but being stopped short when he stands in the way, eyes burning into yours. Chan had never been like this with you, what had gotten into him?
‘’What? Are you suddenly into Hyunjin?? We both know he's not right for you y/n’’  his eyebrows knitted in annoyance.
‘’And how would you know what's best for me Chan? We hardly talk anymore!’’ you run your fingers through your hair, easing the tension building up behind your eyes. 
‘’Of course we still talk, you know i've been busy’’ he fires back, disregarding how much space really had built up between the two of you. 
’Give it up Chan and go back to Euna, what I do with Hyunjin has fuck all to do with you’’ you can't deal with the confusion, why is he acting like he's jealous of you and Hyunjin? Why does it matter to him? 
‘’’I’m your best friend y/n of course it has something to do with me, he's not right for you’’ 
‘’Oh my god get your head out of your ass chan, just like you said, you're my best friend not my boyfriend. You can date but I can't? I'm not gonna wait on you to notice me for the rest of my life’’ You turn your face away from him, your confidence and fire slipping as Chan studies you intensely, the room silent apart from your breathing. 
‘’My god you’re an idiot’’ Chan mumbles before grabbing your chin and smashing his lips onto yours, you melt into the kiss at first before snapping out of it and pushing him away
Chan what are you doing?’’ You feel dizzy as you maintain your balance, your hands still pressed against his toned chest. your lungs heaving in time with the thud of the music coming from below. 
‘’You really have no idea, do you? I’m fucking in love with you y/n, why do you think I even started dating Euna in the first place, I wanted to get over you, why else would I jump into a relationship with a girl I hardly knew??’’ The annoyance in his voice evident as he goes on, he runs his hand through his hair repeatedly,  messy waves falling in his face. 
You stare up at him stunned, your lips parted in surprise, he pulls you back in, his lips covering yours as he presses you into him with fervour. He deepens the kiss and walks you backwards, his hands pressing into your hips, his hold nothing like hyunjins. He pulls away his eyes searching yours for something, anything. 
“Tell me to stop, if you don't want this I’ll walk away” his voice is breathy and pained, evident that the last thing he wanted was for you to say now.
You've waited too long for this, for him to need you, touch you. You know it's wrong, his girlfriend just a floor below but you’ve wanted and waited too much to stop and walk away, you can deal with your moral shortcomings tomorrow. 
‘’Please, Chan’’ you whisper, desperate for him to touch you again, clenching your thighs together as heat pools in your lower stomach, your insides on fire for him. He watches how desperate you are for him, your answer clear.
‘’Fuck you’re perfect’’ you look at him pleadingly and he can't hold back anymore, he’d thought about you like this too many times to count, in dreams and when awake. When he can't sleep and he fucks his fist wishing it was you, how pretty your moans would sound as he rocked into you, how tight you'd be around him, how his cum would leak out of your fluttering hole. He was too far gone, a man possessed. 
You gasp as he pushes you back on the bed, his weight pressing you into the mattress perfectly, he licks and nips at your jaw, his hand finding your soaked underwear under your skirt, circling your puffy clit through the slick fabric. 
“You’re so wet for me baby, bet Hyunjin could never have this effect on you. Gonna fuck you so good you'll forget he exists’’ his words making you tingle, his fingers exactly where you need them.
‘’Only want you’’ Your voice comes out breathy and fucked out even though he’s barely touched you and it sends a rush of blood to Chan's already rock-solid cock, straining against the tight fabric of his black jeans.
He sinks two fingers into your tight pussy and you scream in pleasure and pain at the intrusion, his fingers so much thicker and longer than yours, the stretch taking your breath away 
‘’Yeah be a good girl and take my fingers in that tight little cunt, I know you can’’ The way he whispers as your pussy stretches around his fingers and wet squelches echo through the room has you throwing your head back, Chans other hand finding your tits as he stretches you out for him. You shake as he moves his fingers in and out of you, the stretch now dissolved into intense pleasure. He can tell you're close, your eyes closed in pleasure as you sigh out his name.
‘’cum for me pretty, cum around my fingers’’ You moan his name over and over as he rubs your soaking clit and plunges his fingers into your sopping hole,  your back arching in pleasure as he works you through your high. Shouting his name as you cum on his fingers. He pulls his fingers out, bringing them to his mouth and licking them clean. The sight alone already making you needy for more 
‘’Need you so bad baby, need to feel you milk my cock’’ he breathes out as he undoes his belt, desperate to be inside of you. You spread your sticky thighs, your glistening pussy on full display for him. His cock springs free from its confines, his pink tip leaking down onto the rest of his thick veiny length. It was no surprise he had the prettiest cock you'd ever seen. He gives it a few pumps, slapping your clit with his bulbous tip, and you moan in pleasure at the sting. 
‘’Take it, baby. Gonna stretch you out so good, gonna make you mine’’ his voice shaky as he presses into you, your pussy spasming around his hard length splitting you open, he slowly bottoms out with a moan stilling inside you. His cock making your stomach bulge with his size 
‘’Fuckfuckfuckkkk you're still so tight, such a perfect pussy’’ his words coming out more like a mantra, the feeling of you around him making him pussydrunk. He fucks in and out of you grabbing your thighs, spreading you wider for him, watching where you’re joined as he takes you. 
 ‘’talk to me baby girl, tell me how I make you feel’’ 
‘’Love it when you fuck me Channie, love your cock so much’’ your voice strained and whiny, writhing against the sheets as he sets a rough pace. He spits on your pussy, the liquid dripping down to where you meet, the sight only aiding his pleasure. 
‘’Bet you thought about this huh? Thought about how good it would feel when I ruin you, hmm baby? Bet you’d touch this little clit thinking about how good I would fuck you?’’ His thrusts become sloppy as he nears his orgasm, his fingers coming to circle your clit. Your moans getting louder as you get close for the second time.
‘’Cum with me baby, wanna cum in this pussy, fill you up with my cum’’ his thrusts getting more erratic and desperate as you orgasm together. You scream his name, your nails digging into his toned back muscles. Chan stills as he spurts his hot release into you, his cum painting your insides a milky white. He collapses onto you, his muscled chest pressed against your fucked out form, both of you breathing heavily. 
‘’Fuck you're mine, just mine’’ he whispers, his cock still inside you, both your release leaking out around his still hard dick.. 
‘’Yeah just yours, Channie’’ you breathe out dreamily, still coming down from your high  
You both lay like that for a while, Chan's face tucked into your neck, leaving gentle kisses, his cock stiffening again inside of you, the party coming to an end downstairs. Things had happened so fast you hadn't realised Chan brought you to his own room, the purple lights giving his skin a lilac hue. 
‘’Chan. What happens now?” You hesitate not wanting to ruin the moment, praying you didn't just fuck everything up with him with a simple question.
He sighs into your skin snuggling closer ‘’I meant it when I said you're mine y/n, Euna knows she and I are done, she knew I was in love with you. I want this, I want you’’ his voice soft and sleepy. 
Your heart nearly explodes, ‘’I love you too Chan, I want you too’’ you kiss him passionately, his tongue fighting yours for dominance, smiling into the kiss as he begins moving inside you again. It feels like a dream and you can't believe he's in love with you too, that he wants you like you want him. Now you have him you'll never let him go, you have always been his, even if he didn't know it. 
‘’It's always been you y/n’’
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-ty for reading!! Alr working on more hehe
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foone · 1 year ago
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why are printers so hated? it's simple:
computers are good at computering. they are not good at the real world.
the biggest problems in computers, the ones that have had to change the most over the time they've existed, are the parts that deal with the real world. The keyboard, the mouse, the screen. every computer needs these, but they involve interacting with the real world. that's a problem. that's why they get replaced so much.
now, printers: printers have some of the most complex real-world interaction. they need to deposit ink on paper in 2 dimensions, and that results in at least three ways it can go on right from the start. (this is why 3D printers are just 2D printers that can go wrong in another whole dimension)
scanners fall into many of the same problems printers have, but fewer people have scanners, and they're not as cost-optimized. But they are nearly as annoying.
This is also why you can make a printer better by cutting down on the number of moving elements: laser printers are better than inkjets, because they only need to move in one dimension, and their ink is a powder, not a liquid. and the best-behaved printers of all are thermal printers: no ink and the head doesn't move. That's why every receipt printer is a thermal printer, because they need that shit to work all the time so they can sell shit. And thermal is the most reliable way to do that.
But yeah, cost-optimization is also a big part of why printers are such finicky unreliable bastards: you don't want to pay much for them. Who is excited for all the printing they're gonna be doing? basically nobody. But people get forced to have a printer because they gotta print something, for school or work or the government or whatever. So they want the cheapest thing that'll work. They're not shopping on features and functionality and design, they want something that costs barely anything, and can fucking PRINT. anything else is an optional bonus.
And here's the thing: there's a fundamental limit of how much you can optimize an inkjet printer, and we got near to it in like the late 90s. Every printer since then has just been a tad smaller, a tad faster, and added some gimmicks like printing from WIFI or bluetooth instead of needing to plug in a cable.
And that's the worst place to be in, for a computer component. The "I don't care how fancy it is, just give me one that works" zone. This is why you can buy a keyboard for 20$ and a mouse for 10$ and they both work plenty fine for 90% of users. They're objectively shit compared to the ones in the 60-150$ range, but do they work? yep. So that's what people get.
Printers fell into that zone long, long ago, when people stopped getting excited about "desktop publishing". So with printers shoved into the "make them as cheap as possible" zone, they have gotten exponentially shittier. Can you cut costs by 5$ a printer by making them jam more often? good. make them only last a couple years to save a buck or two per unit? absolutely. Can you make the printer cost 10$ less and make that back on the proprietary ink cartridges? oh, they've been doing that since Billy Clinton was in office.
It's the same place floppy disks were in in about 2000. CD-burners were not yet cheap enough, USB flash drives didn't exist yet (but were coming), modems weren't fast enough yet to copy stuff over the internet, superfloppies hadn't taken over like some hoped, and memory cards were too expensive and not everyone had a drive for them. So we still needed floppy disks, but at the same time this was a technology that hadn't changed in nearly 20 years. So people were tired of paying out the nose for them... the only solution? cut corners. I have floppy disks from 1984 that read perfectly, but a shrinkwrapped box of disks from 1999 will have over half the disks failed. They cut corners on the material quality, the QA process, the cleaning cloth inside the disk, everything they could. And the disks were shit as a result.
So, printers are in that particular note of the death-spiral where they've reached the point of "no one likes or cares about this technology, but it's still required so it's gone to shit". That's why they are so annoying, so unreliable, so fucking crap.
So, here's the good news:
You can still buy a better printer, and it will work far better. Laser printers still exist, and LED printers work the same way but even cheaper. They're still more expensive than inkjets (especially if you need color), but if you have to print stuff, they're a godsend. Way more reliable.
This is not a stable equilibrium. Printers cannot limp along in this terrible state forever. You know why I brought up floppy disk there? (besides the fact I'm a giant floppy disk nerd) because floppy disks GOT REPLACED. Have you used one this decade? CD-Rs and USB drives and internet sharing came along and ate the lunch of floppy disks, so much so that it's been over a decade since any more have been made. The same will happen to (inkjet) printers, eventually. This kind of clearly-broken situation cannot hold. It'll push people to go paperless, for companies to build cheaper alternatives to take over from the inkjets, or someone will come up with a new, more reliable printer based on some new technology that's now cheap enough to use in printers. Yeah, it sucks right now, but it can't last.
So, in conclusion: Printers suck, but this is both an innate problem caused by them having to deal with so much fucking Real World, and a local minimum of reliability that we're currently stuck in. Eventually we'll get out of this valley on the graph and printers will bother people a lot less.
Random fun facts about printing of the past and their local minimums:
in the hot metal type era, not only would the whole printing process expose you to lead, the most common method of printing text was the linotype, which could go wrong in a very fun way: if the next for a line wasn't properly justified (filling out the whole row), it could "squirt", and lead would escape through gaps in the type matrix. This would result in molten lead squirting out of the machine, possibly onto the operator. Anecdotally, linotype operators would sometimes recognize each other on the street because of the telltale spots on their forearms where they had white splotches where no hair grew, because they got bad lead burns. This type of printing remained in use until the 80s.
Another fun type of now-retired printers are drum printers, a type of line printer. These work something like a typewriter or dot-matrix printer, except the elements extend across the entire width of the paper. So instead of printing a character at time by smacking it into the paper, the whole line got smacked nearly at once. The problem is that if the paper jammed and the printer continued to try to print, that line of the paper would be repeatedly struck at high speed, creating a lot of heat. This worry created the now-infamous Linux error: "lp0 on fire". This was displayed when the error signals from a parallel printer didn't make sense... and it was a real worry. A high speed printer could definitely set the paper on fire, though this was rare.
So... one thing to be grateful about current shitty inkjet printers: they are very unlikely to burn anything, especially you.
(because before they could do that they'd have to work, at least a little, first, and that's very unlikely)
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spokenforyou · 2 months ago
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sylus x fem reader
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TAKE CARE
synopsis: sylus comes home after a run in, wounded. and you decide to take care of him, in more ways than one.
warnings: dirty talk, unprotected intercourse, cream pie, vulgar language, mentions of wounds and blood, mentions of bruises, praise kink, spanking, m oral receiving .
wc- 2.4k
[minors don’t interact… by choosing to interact with this content, you are consenting to view something that is not appropriate and nsfw despite warnings!]
9:26 pm
Sylus is late.
You sit on the couch, curled up under a blanket watching a movie. A random romance movie filling the empty house with sound as you wait for Sylus to get back home from work.
You begin to worry, he called you around an hour ago, saying he’d be on his way.
Because of course, he had to hear your sweet voice. But he’s late.
You fight the urge to call him or spam his phone, even though you know he doesn’t care, he prefers it.
You sigh as you repeatedly check the time 9:40 comes around and you decide to send him a text.
You: Baby, are you alright? I didn’t wanna bother you, but I’m getting worried.
You set down your phone and lock it before returning your attention to the movie. As you see the couple on screen all you can think of is Sylus.
Your boyfriend of nearly a year and a half, the man you are in love with wholeheartedly. Reaching down you begin to twiddle with the collarbone necklace he bought you. Your phone dings and you nearly jump in your seat.
It’s Sylus.
Sy: I got caught up kitten. Late approach, I’m in the car right now. I’m sorry, give me 5 minutes or so, see you then.
You sigh of relief but can’t stop to wonder what caught him so late.
Not even three minutes pass and you hear a car door shut, you jump out of your seat this time. Haven’t seen Sylus since 2 pm, you rush to the door and unlock it. You quickly open it and run out of the mansion to him.
Sylus locks eyes with you as he heads towards the house, he braces himself for a jumping hug and chuckles.
You jump into his arms, wrapping your own around his neck as his wraps around your back. The height difference allows your legs to dangle.
He holds you until you decide to let go, knowing you love to be clingy, and he doesn’t mind at all. “Someone missed me?” He mutters against your hair. You drop yourself to the ground and finally get a look at him.
His clothes were bloody and he had a couple of bruises scattered on his face and arms. You feel your heart stop as you look at him.
“Sy, what happened…” You whisper as you reach up and touch his face.
He winces as you near a bruise. “A run in. I’m alright sweetie, come on.” He chuckles, brushing it off and leads you inside, locking the car with a remote as we head in.
He opens the door and closes it behind us as we step into the hallway.
“Sy… Let me look. I can help, you know I enjoy taking care of you.” You look up at him as he takes off his combat boots.
“Baby, I’m okay. But if you want to, I won’t deny you.” Sylus chuckles before taking your hand and leading you further into the mansion.
“Bathroom, the first aid kit is in there.” You squeeze his hand and he nods, leading you there.
Once you’re both in the bathroom, he switches on the light and sits on the closed toilet lid, to allow you to get to him with ease. His crimson eyes look up at you as he finally gets a good look at you.
“Pretty girl.” He says with no shame and you blush as you playfully roll your eyes. You turn and open a cabinet, grabbing the first aid kit.
Moving back over to Sylus, you stand in front of him. “Let’s get your shirt off, the blood is gonna only stain more the longer it sits.” You reach to take off his shirt and he nods but takes it off for you. He tosses the shirt somewhere and lets you continue.
“Sweetie, I’m not worried about the shirt. You and I both know I have enough money to buy a million of them.” He laughs, his deep voice echoing in the bathroom.
“Yeah you’re right, but still.” You chuckle and look down at his broad chest. Dried blood scatters across his skin and it tugs at your heart, you know his wounds heal themselves but it still upsets you.
Sylus watches your eyes waver and he takes your hand. “Sweetie, you know no one can hurt me right? No one can kill me either, only you can grant me death. Don’t worry okay?” He rubs your hand in his, and you nod.
“Sylus, I just… I don’t like to see you like this.” You sigh and you pull away for a quick second to grab a washcloth, wetting it.
“I know you don’t, and it makes me happy that you care so much about me. But they’re healed for the most part, other than the bruises. ” Sylus watches as you bring the wet cloth to his bloody chest, wiping gently.
“Bruises take longer don’t they?” You whisper as you focus and he hums in agreement.
“The one on your face Sy… They punched your pretty face.” You look at him and sigh as your eyes land on the huge bruise on his jaw.
He chuckles at your silent compliment. “You can always make me pretty again until it heals.” His eyes scan over your features, appreciating the beauty of you.
“Would you let me do your makeup?” Smiling at him, you stop wiping his chest as it’s wiped clean.
“Wouldn’t mind, if it made you happy I wouldn’t object it. You know I’d do anything you asked me to.” Sylus smiles and glances as you grab a hot pad from the first aid kit.
“So if I asked you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?” You joke as you press ever so gently to his jawbone bruise and he closes his eyes briefly.
“Mhm. Anything.” Sylus mutters as he takes in the heat. His words make you smile ear to ear, although you’d never ask him to jump off a cliff.
“Baby?” He speaks up all of a sudden and it catches you off guard.
“Yeah, Sy?” You look down at him with curiosity, his arm patting your hip.
“Why don’t you sit on my lap, your legs are gonna start hurting. And this time it won’t be from me.” He chuckles, and you nod realizing that your legs truly do hurt from standing so long.
You sit on Sylus’ lap and he leans back to give you room to continue. His hands coming to rest on your hips.
“Does the bruise feel any better?” You look at Sylus, running a hand through his silver hair. He leans into your touch and nods.
“Got a couple on my arms but you don’t have to worry about those. The only one that hurts is the jaw.” He smiles softly before squeezing your hip.
You nod and giggle, “I know I just sat down, but my work is done.” He gives you a disapproving look and shakes his head.
“No, you aren’t.” Sylus smirks, and you lift a brow.
“What exactly did I miss?” You scan over his face and torso once more, checking for any marks you might’ve missed. You hear his low chuckle and your attention is brought back to his face.
“My lips sweetie.” He whispers before gripping your face in his palm and kissing you. He holds you ever so gently in his grasp and you wrap your arms around his neck like you did earlier.
His lips were tender and soft against yours, tasting mint on him.
Sylus slowly pulls away before giving you a small peck. Whispering he squeezes you again, “All mine…”
“All yours.” You repeat and he smiles, his gaze dropping to your lips once again. He quickly stands, wrapping your legs around his waist he leaves the bathroom with you.
“Sylus!” You giggle. “Where are you taking me?” You continue to laugh as he props you up higher.
He smiles at the tone of your voice. “To bed kitten.” Sylus kicks open the bedroom door and carries you over to the bed before laying you down and climbing on top of you.
“You know… There’s one more bruise.” He smirks as he hovers over you. Your eyes widen but then you catch on.
“Where exactly?” You chuckle and he holds his cocky expression before leaning down and grinding against you.
“Mmm, I think it might be there… Wanna check for me, sweetie?” Sylus’ hardness is evident as he grinds one more time. Honestly, you were shocked he got hard so fast. Yet again you were on his lap, and just looking at you gives him a semi.
“I’ll check…” You nod and he bites his bottom lip between his teeth before moving off of you. You allow him to situate himself to lie down on the bed, his upper body propped up by pillows.
You look down at the tent in his pants, gently nudging it with your hand, earning a hiss. “Where’d this giant bruise come from Sy?” You play along with his act and he smirks.
“Mmm, think from some pretty girl.” He looks at you his red eyes darker than ever.
“She must’ve been beautiful.” You smile and unzip the two zippers on his pants, his chest heaving with anticipation as you do so.
“Yeah, she is… Such a beauty.” Sylus whispers as you nudge on his pants, he lifts his hips enough for you to slide them off. But to his surprise, you yank off his boxers at the same time.
His cock springs out and slaps against his stomach, thick and dripping for you. He groans as the cool air hits his head and you giggle.
You run your fingers along his shaft and pretend to inspect. His brows furrowed as he bites back groans from the lightest touch. The most dangerous and wanted man in Philos falling apart from the slightest touch.
“i swear there’s pain from something…” Sylus tangles his hands in your locks and smirks.
“Maybe I need to check another way?” You look up at him before bringing his member to your mouth, immediately taking it in.
“Fuck baby…” He groans, low in his throat as you take him in, tongue rubbing against his tip, before you pull it out. You give kitten licks to the swollen red tip, and he hisses.
“Living up to your nickname huh? Shit…” He finally lets out a moan. His moans are the most beautiful thing you’ve heard and it never fails to make you pool between your thighs. You give the head a few more kisses before taking it back in.
He moans louder when you wrap your hand around the base that you can’t fit, stroking in time with your bobs. “Just like that… So good.”
You move your hand off his shaft and to his balls, gently fondling them. “Y/n baby… if you keep doing that I’ll cum.” He warns you and you continue.
He groans and feels himself get closer to the edge as you massage and suck him. “Baby…” He moans one last time before he grunts and finishes in your mouth.
His taste is something you so desperately craved, ropes shooting down your throat you moan around his length. He squeezes his eyes shut as that causes him to shoot out more cum.
Pulling you to him he kisses you, groaning at the taste of himself on your lips. His tongue slides into your mouth, he brings you to straddle him. He lowers you and you gasp, feeling his cock against your bare pussy. When the fuck did he take my clothes off? You think to yourself.
And then you realize, his evol. “Sylus!” You scold him.
“Had to baby… Couldn’t wait.” He laughs and lowers you down into him, his girth stretching you to maximum capacity. Thank god you were wet enough.
He groans and squeezes your hips, leaving bruises of their own as he attempts to bottom out. “So tight…” Sylus growls and thrusts up into you gathering more wetness.
You loosen around him and moan as he slowly thrusts up into you, your nails digging into his shoulders.
“Meet me halfway baby…” He whispers and you begin to bounce, meeting his thrusts. The sounds of your thighs slapping against his fill the room.
“Sylus…” You moan his name and he groans.
“You’re all mine baby…” He growls.
You bounce faster and he smirks as he finally sees all his length make its way into you, head bruising your cervix. He bulges into your stomach and he places a hand on it letting out a needy moan.
“I fucking love when you ride me kitten… Always do so good. Look so pretty” He watches you intensely, every face you make engraved in his brain.
“Sy… My legs hurt.” You whisper and he nods.
“That’s alright, here let me do it for you. Let me take care of you.” Sylus takes over immediately and thrusts up into you, lifting himself off the bed to hit deeper. “Just relax for me, let me make you feel good.”
You feel yourself tightening and you moan louder, feeling your walls clench him he moans. “Gonna cum for me pretty? Let go for me.” He kisses you sloppily but passionately, intertwining your hands as he resonates with you. Your hands glow and intense pleasure courses through the both of you.
Your back arches and you come undone on him, essence sliding down his shaft as he slows his movements, making love to you as you finish.
Sylus moans and fills you with his cum not even a minute later, painting your womb while he lets out a string of pretty moans. “Fucking hell… I love you so much.”
His thrusts finally stop and he stays situated inside of you while he softens, you both pant heavily and he rubs your back before lifting you. His cock slips out with a wet pop and he returns you to his chest.
You whine at the lack of fullness and he smirks. “Miss me that bad already?” Sylus leans down and presses a kiss to your lips.
“Always.” You mumble and he chuckles.
“Always take such good care of me, sweetie. My pretty girl.” He pushes hair behind your ear that had fallen onto your face.
“Likewise…” You giggle and he playfully smacks your ass.
“Now let’s go shower, yeah?” He smirks as he looks at you and you roll your eyes.
“No funny business.” You laugh and get off his lap to stand beside the bed, legs wobbling.
“Just gonna take care of you. Aftercare~” He gives you a mischievous grin and leads you into the bathroom.
You mentally curse yourself as you prepare yourself for more “care.”
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lauraneedstochill · 7 months ago
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if I see one more post about Aegon “bullying Aemond his entire life”, I will go fucking ballistic, I swear to g—
scratch that, I will actually go ballistic right now. this is the “Aegon doesn’t deserve such a shitty treatment” club and I’m the self-proclaimed CEO. we are about to do some analyzing and reading so BUCKLE UP.
gonna make one thing clear first — Aemond was bullied when he was a child. no one denies that, no excuses can be made for that. I’d only like to note that there wasn’t only one bully. here’s a quick reminder:
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now that we successfully counted to three, let’s look over Aegon’s other horrible crimes relationship with Aemond throughout the years.
📍 the night Aemond lost his eye (S1EP7), Rhaenyra suggests he should be “sharply questioned” (she means tortured) so they can learn who told him that her sons were bastards. Viserys, in his perpetual denial, angrily asks Aemond “who spoke these lies” to which he replies that it was Aegon. it is clear that Aemond does that to deflect suspicion from their mother but his words come as a surprise to Aegon.
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he’s in a tough spot — Viserys demands the answers “as their king”, not their father (to signify his authority and pressure them into telling the truth). and Alicent screamed in Aegon’s face and slapped him just a minute ago, so he may be less eager to defend her. he can easily lie and say that he overheard some maids gossiping or that he can’t remember where the rumor came from. instead, it takes Aegon about 5 seconds to back Aemond up.
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📍 we didn’t get many scenes with young Aegon and Aemond in general, but here’s a short bit people keep overlooking: when Harwin and Criston start fighting, Aemond and Aegon instantly gravitate toward each other. and moreover, Aegon puts a hand over Aemond’s back (which to me is either a protective or a comforting gesture). what a horrible brother, truly.
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📍 next we see them all grown up before dinner in S1EP8. I think it’s safe to assume that if Aegon has been bullying Aemond all these years, Aemond wouldn’t want to spend a second in his company. he’s seated between Helaena and Otto, both of whom are dear to him, so Aemond can stay at the table and chat with them. and YET, not only does Aemond voluntarily talks to Aegon, but their conversation seems friendly (you can barely hear it in the show so here’s the enhanced audio). Aemond makes a joke about Aegon’s drinking habits — Aegon quips back — and then, what a shocker! Aemond starts venting his frustrations to Aegon (“Even when the noose is so tight, they expect us to break bread”). nothing would’ve stopped him from venting to Otto but Aemond stays with Aegon. he wouldn’t have done that if there hadn’t been some level of trust between them. he wouldn’t have done that if he hated Aegon’s guts.
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📍 at dinner, when Aegon pisses Jace off and the brunet springs to his feet, Aemond stands up too, which forces Jace to act as if nothing happened and come up with a toast. Aegon watches him with a shit-eating grin on his face. it’s the face that screams “I know you won’t dare to act up in front of my brother and my brother has my back”.
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when Aemond makes a toast and calls Rhaenyra’s sons “strong”, Aegon raises a cup to that. he can sit this one out — Aemond has his personal vendetta against the boys, and it would be safer for Aegon not to meddle. but what does he do instead? when Luke gets up from the table (clearly intending to go to Aemond), Aegon instantly stands up, comes up to Luke and not just stops him but slams his face into the table right in front of Rhaenyra without thinking twice. and it doesn’t look like Aegon is just messing with him — no, it looks like he wanted to do that for a while. like Aegon finally got his chance to stand up for his brother too. AND he also stops Baela from joining the fight.
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📍 S1EP9 is when we get a glimpse of Aemond’s ambitions: he deems himself better than Aegon, he thinks he deserves to be king. but once he finds Aegon and they get into a fight, it turns out that Aegon knows that Aemond is a better choice. he doesn’t want to fight him, he begs Aemond to let him go. and Aemond can do that — Criston has his back to them, so Aemond could’ve pretended that Aegon managed to break free. and even once they caught Aegon, I have no doubt that Aemond could’ve helped him escape. but it seems that, despite his displeasure, Aemond values his family the most. he can’t betray his mother’s trust, and he knows Aegon is the first in line to the throne. Aemond envies him, yes, he may even hate him because of that. but he values his family the most.
📍 as @florisbaratheons noted, during the coronation scene, when Aegon glances at his family, Aemond looks right at him and gives that tiny nod that says “I may hate this and think I am better for the job as king. But I’ve got your back.” I like that Aemond is the one who keeps eye contact in that scene. He could’ve turned away to signal his dissatisfaction with the situation, there wouldn’t have been any consequences for that. But he didn’t.
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📍 what I find interesting about S1EP10 is the beginning of Aemond’s dialogue with Luke. that’s the boy Aemond wished to get back at for years and yet, he starts by saying “Did you think that you could just fly about the realm trying to steal my brother’s throne at no cost?”. Aemond could’ve skipped that part — imagine him saying smth along the lines of “Wait, Lord Strong! Don’t you think you and I have other matters to discuss?” (to which Luke answers that he doesn’t want to fight and the conversation goes on). instead, Aemond makes a point to remind Luke: my brother is the king, and I came here on his behalf. you can argue that Aemond doesn’t do it for Aegon specifically but for his family in general. but Aegon is a part of the family, and S1 Aemond has his priorities straight.
📍 as much as I hate comparing the show and the book (these are two different things and should be viewed as such), I’d like to remind you that Aegon was the only one who stood by Aemond’s side after Luke’s death. I wonder why we didn’t get that scene… I guess it’s because it would be kinda hard to call Aegon “the main bully” after he literally throws Aemond a feast. but we do get to see Aegon supporting his brother: in S2EP1 he welcomes Aemond at the small council meeting despite his mother’s protests (“Aemond is my closest blood and my best sword”). and he trusts Aemond wholeheartedly, that much is obvious.
📍 let’s get to the most controversial part — the brothel scene in S2EP3: some people believe Aegon is being a bully at that moment. those people seem to forget one little detail:
it’s been only a few days after the death of Aegon’s son whose murder was a direct result of Aemond’s ruthless actions. does Aemond ever address it? does he express his condolences? does he mayhaps help to catch the killers, being the skilled fighter that he is? the answer is NO.
I do think Aegon’s joke was cruel (I wrote a whole post about it) but that’s all it ever was — a JOKE. the humiliation comes not from the things he says but from the fact that Aemond is found in a vulnerable position and surrounded by a group of strangers while his brother laughs at him. TGC explained it best:
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I also love @notbloodraven’s take on that scene:
Aegon lashing out so cruelly at Aemond seems to be an effort in making Aemond feel as badly as he does and blaming him for Jaehaerys without actually saying the words.
would this be the right way to act? no. but there’s no right way to grieve and to cope with the loss — and HIS SON WAS BEHEADED so maybe take 1% of the sympathy you show your favorite character(s) and cut Aegon some slack.
+ other things worth talking about:
📍 @bietrofastimoff23 analyzed S2EP3 beautifully and I can’t help but mention the scene that happens before Aegon goes to the brothel. it’s the moment when Larys suggests that Alicent and Aemond are plotting against Aegon. he isn’t surprised by the idea that his mother can do that — but the second his brother is mentioned, Aegon’s face falls and he shakes his head no. because there is no way Aemond would ever do that to him. and instead of asking for any proof, he asks Larys “who spreads these lies?” and then commands him to “tend to them.” Aegon can ask him to spy on Aemond, to find any dirt on him, find any weaknesses he can use — he does not.
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📍 it turns out to be true — Aemond was plotting behind his brother’s back. which is treason btw (I don’t think Criston intended to keep things from Aegon — he probably believed that Aemond would let Aegon in on their plan). and Aegon does have the power to remind Aemond of his place — he can throw him off the council with a snap of his fingers, he can take offense at Aemond’s attempt to publicly humiliate him (their conversation in High Valyrian — Ewan himself calls it a “public execution”). but that’s not what happens: as TGC phrased it, Aemond’s betrayal “breaks a bit of Aegon’s heart off”. an actual bully would’ve immediately pushed back, but Aegon silently sits down and doesn’t argue, he’s so defeated he can’t utter a word. he has the means to be a bully but he doesn’t contemplate it for a second.
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📍 I don’t want to talk about S2EP6 because it makes me sick but I will reiterate one thing: never ONCE Aegon made fun of Aemond’s disability or tried to cause him any physical harm. just want to point that out.
there is no moral to this story, I guess. if you managed to read till the very end, thank you. if you still hate Aegon, that’s your opinion and you are allowed to have one — but please, for the love of god, just stop making shit up. no, Aemond was NOT bullied as an adult, absolutely nothing suggests that he was. Aegon was naive to blindly trust him and it backfired on him, that’s the actual story. and if you are so eager to hold Aegon accountable for his mistakes, maybe it’s time for Aemond to take responsibility for his actions too.
+ some of my favorite critical posts about Aegon and Aemond: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x.
P.S. I will not argue with anyone so please don’t waste your time — I consider all my arguments solid and that’s enough for me. if you are thinking of sending me anon hate, pls go take a walk instead, it will do you more good. 🌿
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)
i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.
i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.
i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.
in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.
i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.
i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.
my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.
i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.
i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.
it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.
almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.
i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.
i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.
write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.
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princesssmars · 12 days ago
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sooooo....sub!vi and sub!reader tribbing.
nsfw. fem!reader. lesbian sex. tribbing ofc. inspired by one of the first nsfwtwt accounts i encountered 5 years ago...ill never forget you </3 wc: 905.
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at first glance, every woman vi approached thought she was a dom. in a way she could understand it, she was muscular and tall and had every other stereotypical dominant top butch feature that had femmes falling at her feet begging for a chance for her to strap them until they saw stars.
while she was always flattered, there was an uneasy feeling whenever she was commanding a girl in bed, a nagging in the back of her head that she just couldn't shake. she figured it was just her brain catching up to the fact that she had become incredibly desirable to so many people so quickly, that after a few more girls in her bed, she’d settle into a good rhythm
until she met you.
after a few shared drinks at her favorite bar and a sloppy make out in the back of a taxi, she’s got your pretty form pushed down onto her bed, sheets ruffled and both of your jackets thrown to the ground as your form writhes beneath her, your body so, so pliant for her. but that nagging feeling is coming back with a vengeance, and before she can stop herself she’s pulling off of your body with a groan and flopping into her pillows face first.
she muffles a somber apology, words barely legible through the soft fabric, telling you that she’ll pay for your uber home and that she is really sorry for getting your hopes up. she expects to hear you scoff and get up with a huff, to hear the rustling of you putting on your clothes before the slam of her door. but instead, it's quiet, the only sound reverberating through the room is your shared heavy breathing and the faint sound of crickets in the night.
she slightly jerks when she feels your hand graze her shoulder, so incredibly gentle as you tug on her so she turns onto her back, eyes locking onto yours. your face is…calm, understanding almost.
“is everything okay? do you want to just…talk about it?”
and maybe it's your delicate look and touch, the tone of your voice, and genuine inquiry about what she’s truly feeling instead of being mad at your ruined night, but she lets every little bottled-up emotion that's been building up for the past few weeks go.
and you understand her problem completely.
“im sorry you felt like you had to hold all of that in. if you want,I know a few ways we could help with your problem.”
her eyes widened and face flushed at the prospect. “you mean that you - you would?”
“wish I could, but i’ve never been very good at it. but there are other things we could do. together.”
and it's in moments like these, where after a long day of work she gets to come home, relax, and lose herself in pleasure with you in front of her, that she’s so grateful you helped her find this part of herself.
there isn't an inch of space between you, your shared borderline possessive embraces and the tightly connected collars around both of your necks ensuring so. she doesn't even want to (or can, at this point) think about how desperate she must have looked when you raised the surprise up to her gaze earlier, how she had shown no hesitation in attaching it around her neck before dragging you to your shared bed to get her hands on you and yours on her.
she’s brought out of her thoughts when a punctured cry is torn from her throat, the friction of your clits brushing and grinding together sending a burst of sharp pleasure up from her cunt into the rest of her body. it amplifies the heat already surrounding the both of you, a thin sheen of sweat covering both of your bodies from the strain of rubbing against each other for…for who knows how long at this point.
but it doesn't matter, she’d risk the chance of passing out if it meant she got to feel like this for even a few more seconds.
neither of you can speak, only shrill whimpers and endless moans bouncing off of the walls. luckily you seem to have maybe a few more brain cells active at the moment, aware of the impending fifth noise complaint, taking initiative, and pushing your heads together to lock your lips in a sloppy kiss.
and god, everything is just too much. the friction of your slick cunts meeting in a rabid frenzy, both of your hands scratching at each other backs and breasts, and the mushing of your tongues leading to drool dripping down your faces only catapults her into a mind-breaking orgasm, back arching and arms holding your body even closer to hers as she feels you both gush against each other.
and once your highs finally die down, you both take care of each other. the collars are taken off, and giggles are shared when you both stand up to wobbly legs to clean each other up in the bathroom. and it's in moments like these, where you're sitting across from each other in the tub, rubbing fruity-smelling suds over each other's bodies and sharking sweet kisses and praises, that she really, really loves being a sub.
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