#I never had a dog before therefore never had a dog die either

[birdy-bird27]

I think I need to go to sleep soon my brain is once again is being haunted by the sad thoughts

[triflesandparsnips]

So I understand that there are Good Omens show fans who have never read Good Omens the book, and that makes me deeply sad because--

Like, there's so much depth to the story being told about humans and humanity and the choice between good and evil -- and how that's actually a false dichotomy whoooops -- WHILE ALSO not really being about Aziraphale and Crowley at all (who are, imo, basically there as embodiments of "Impressive Failures" for the purposes of Theme and also Plot).

BUT IF you want to know why I've shipped them since the book-- here's the moment it happened for wee teenage me:

Wednesday (before the end of the world)

So it's Warlock's birthday party. And there are all these children and security guards and also an angel doing magic tricks while a demon is disguised as a caterer. This bit is basically the same as the show, so hooray.

But as wee me understood the characters up to this point, they were still basically enemies who had been in the field together for way too long and knew each other's moves well enough for the same tempting/thwarting of one another to become kind of boring and repetitive and generally pointless-- particularly once they realized that they could, for instance, just live their (separate!) lives watching humans being weird (Crowley) and seeking various sensory stuff (Aziraphale) while doing the least work necessary to keep their respective bosses off their backs.

The Arrangement was borne not out of hiding a friendship or anything, but instead the realization that sometimes covering for one another would just... cut down on their total overall workload. They were, at best, employees of two different, competitive companies-- though in same kind of department, doing the same kind of work-- who discovered they liked to have lunch at the same deli and that their jobs were sometimes distressingly more similar than either was comfortable with.

SO ANYWAY. BACK TO THAT WEDNESDAY. They're not covering for one another with this whole Antichrist thing-- they're now actively collaborating, and they've acknowledged (mostly) that it's not to cut down on their individual workloads, but rather to preserve their identical-- but not shared (not yet)-- goals of Getting To Continue The Lives On Earth They've Grown To Enjoy.

But like-- still not friends. Not really.

Until Aziraphale fucks up a bit, Warlock accidentally gets hold of a security guard's weapon and starts waving it around, and:

Then someone threw some jelly at Warlock. The boy squeaked, and pulled the trigger of the gun. It was a Magnum .32, CIA issue, gray, mean, heavy, capable of blowing a man away at thirty paces, and leaving nothing more than a red mist, a ghastly mess, and a certain amount of paperwork. Aziraphale blinked. A thin stream of water squirted from the nozzle and soaked Crowley, who had been looking out the window, trying to see if there was a huge black dog in the garden. Aziraphale looked embarrassed. Then a cream cake hit him in the face.

My teenage brain exploded at this moment.

BECAUSE: there is no reason for Aziraphale to do that.

Work-wise: If he got shot, Crowley would get discorporated, but not die-- and anyway, it would happen in such a way that both of them could explain it away easily to their respective sides (and possibly even be commended for it!).

Collaboration-wise: If Crowley had been watching Aziraphale, and if he'd seen Aziraphale have the chance to change the gun but not do it-- then yeah, probably that would've been annoying enough to have warranted some chilly conversations once he came back topside, and therefore, Aziraphale choosing to save Crowley could've been a reasonable, logical choice to keep their working relationship on an even keel until they'd sorted out this Doomsday thing.

But Crowley was looking the other way.

Work-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and secret-collaboration-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and so it is, overall, really weird that Aziraphale saved him.

But his automatic reaction-- in a blink-- is to stop Crowley from getting shot. And he knows it's weird-- he feels embarrassed that his sudden, unthinking reaction is to save his "enemy".

And the final bit is just a couple paragraphs later:

With a gesture, Aziraphale turned the rest of the guns into water pistols as well, and walked out.

SO LOOK: He changed only the pistol about to shoot Crowley. His automatic reaction had nothing to do with saving a party full of humans, many of them children-- nothing to do with Heaven or Hell-- nothing to do with preserving the coworker he needs to stop Armageddon--

It was all to do with saving Crowley. Who may be the enemy, but he's Aziraphale's enemy. And another part of his life on Earth that he's doing all of this just to preserve.

Which may also be, for the first time, the moment he lets himself realize how important Crowley in particular is to him.

...and so anyway, that's how I started shipping these two immortal idiots, and one of many reasons why everyone should read the book.

[icarusredwings]

I dont CARE that it's November 9th and "Halloweens over" ITS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH ILL POST IF I WANT TOO

Anyway.

Thinking about apocolpse au.

Wade getting bitten by a zombie, Logan freaking out, Wade dying, and him coming back (Again)

"Didn't you just die?? I literally fucking burried you!!"

And wades like:

"Of course. Man, God REALLY hates you dosn't he?"

And he's bassically the same person except just saying, "Rahhah har ran re" (translation: I think the devil doesn't want me either)

"What?? Oh for fucks sake... tell me you're kidding.."

"Rah?" 🤔

"Great so now you stink more and you can't talk. Fucking lovely."

"Mmmmh..." 🥺 (would you still love me if I was a zombie?)

"*sighs, blushes and grumbles how insane this is and how much of a bad idea this is* Fine! Come on...."

"Raah!!" 😄

And sometimes his limbs fall off because I think it would be funny if you just saw him stop, turn around, pick up his arm and shove it back into place like a dislocated shoulder. (Marvel Magic)

But its very obvious that Wade is still consious and so logan leads him around, puts a leash on him, ties him up when he goes to sleep the first few nights so wade dosn't eat him, sometimes luring him with a piece of his thigh or telling him he'll feed him soon to make him behave.

The only thing about this resource wise is that it seems Wade is a bottomless pit, not ever able to get enough. It's like all the nutrients just pass right through him, so he can't get fed meals daily, but Logan will share at least one bite of his food. It makes Wade so happy and way more "wade like" than zombie.

Logan has learned that the hungrier Wade gets the worse it would be, snapping at logan a few times.

"Grr-"

"Aye! That's enough outta ya"

"GggRah!"

"Hey!! I said no! Bad! Bad wade!"

"Mmmh??"

"Bad!!"

"Mmh....rahah.."

"I forgive you. But stop trying to bite me. I feed you, don't I? I hold your hand and tell you that I love you?"

Wade is actually extremely friendly for a zombie (duh) and still yaps at logan except its nonsense. Logan tries hard to understand him and talk back.

He holds his hand sometimes, even lays next to him only to scold him if he gets too bitey. This is hard because wade already had a biting issue and seeing as he practically ate anything or anybody now it was more difficult.

"...aahh-"

"Wade- No."

"Ggr.. raahh"

"Wade! No! Bad."

"Mmmh..."

"Ill feed you tomarrow. Don't bite me mkay? You wanna hurt me?"

He shakes his head like a dog shaking off from a bath, or that ate a bee.

"Then don't bite me."

"Mmh? Mrah?"

"No. No kisses right now. Im still not even sure if thats safe.."

"Mmmh...🥺 ahrrah?"

"No, not even a tiny one."

"Mm...😔"

Until Logan grunts and pecks his hand. "There. Happy?"

"🙂‍↕️mh"

"Good."

Honestly Logan felt bad, pitited him. No matter what food he ate it wasnt enough substance to sustain him and sometimes Logan would wake up to find him eating a different zombie that made the mistake of trying to eat Logan.

You ever wake up in the morning, lose your zombie boyfriend, call for him only to walk outside and see him knawing on some poor chaps arm like a happy puppy who found a chicken leg? Logan has. Many times. And he wishes his phone would charge so he could take a picture of it but unfortunately theres no electricity in the post apocalypse world.

This being said Logan is like- THE perfect guy for apocalypse au because he can smell everything and hear anyone before they even get to you, he has better wilderness survival skills then anyone I know and he'll never NOT have a weapon on him because of his claws. The only downside is that he's tired easily, needs a lot of food, and would lowkey be withdrawing from his tabccao and alchool, therefore very moody.

"Stupid fucking apocalypse having to happen when im fucking alive!! Why can't I just NOT live through ONE major historical event! Is that too fucking much to ask? One damn decade where everything is fine and dandy and- WADE! Get your ass away from that!! It's radioactive!! For fucks sake!"

"Rahahrah?"

"NO!! You can not become Spiderman! That's not how that works!"

"Aawr..😔"

The whole thing is they're on a quest to find Laura and Gabby, because when everything went to shit, they were on a cabin trip and now Logans brain is itching because he dosn't know where his babies are and its driving him insane. Once he finds them, they're gonna shack up somewhere with food and animals to hunt, and hes gonna make a little shed outside for Wade to sleep because he'll kill him if he bites one of the girls.

He dosnt care that much about himself really and he hates himself deep down for not being able to trust wade anymore but even wade dosnt trust wade, sometimes wandering off on purpose, staying about 30 feet away from him at all times, growling and giving Logan that glazed over look of unconsiousness. The only good thing about this, though, is after he removes himself from the idea of hurting Logan (because if logaj were to become infected - HA! Your all fucked. Utterly fucked. The whole humanoid species would go extinct because he'd kill anything that moved) he feels more trusting of him and it's not uncommon for them to hug after either. Afterall Wade- Some how???- is still wade and is very affectionate and sensitive when its not returned.

This whole thing also makes him think worse about himself, kicking reflective objects or staring at himself in a shop window in utter shock and disgust with a face of 'thats me..?' While logans raiding the place for supplies.

Did you know zombies can cry? Well, Wade could. Not a lot, only able to get a bit of liquid from dehydration, but sometimes Logan will catch him just... sitting there.. crying. Upset with himself for being bit. Upset with himself for trying to bite logan all the time. Upset at how ugly he is. Upset that he's starving all the time. Upset that he can't even talk to anyone, and Logan just has to guess what he's saying 90% of the time. Bro is literally

When they DO find Laura and Gabby, the girls are doing great. Laura was going to blow wades head off until Gabby ran in the shot, hugging him instantly, only to be ripped away.

"Of course my dad is the weirdo married to a zombie." Laura grunts, but is secrelty happy that wade is still 'alive'

Gabby, being as young as she is, thinks it's so SICK that her dad is a zombie now, giggling when he talks to her and holding his hand. She's not allowed near him for long, and not at all by herself, but Gabby bassically becomes Wades number one supporter, defending him when he messes up and snaps at laura.

"He's just hungry!! He's not bad! It's not bad to be hungry!" She'll say. "You wouldn't kill me if I was hungry.." she tells her bigger, more survival oriented sister whos suggested putting wade out of his misery, for his own sake. "I tried that... he found me again 3 days later." Logan tells her with a pang in his chest. It had taken everything in him to kill him the first time, and sobbed himself to sleep the next 2 days. By the third when he noticed Wade following him from a distance he couldn't believe it.

Not even the apocalypse could keep them away from each other..

[affluent-havoc]

Time for Hiro! Spoilers up ahead!

I'll be honest. These designs were so easy. Just came naturally. Therefore, I kinda don't really have much to say. Regardless though, first design, I gave him a tie die shirt, either something he got from a dingy flea market that costed way too much money or perhaps something he made himself. Baggy pants for both outfits were a given though I made sure. Additionally, he keeps the sandals but I gave him socks with this design solely off of vibes. Hiro just gives me socks and sandals energy. For the second design, his work attire, I'll be honest again. It's a bit lazy in some ways, which both works with Hiro's nature while also just being like, a design I guess. Basically a combo meal of his original design and outfit in the anime. A bit of a snazzier shirt that looks similar to what he wore in his og design, an ill-fitting overcoat in line more with his anime appearance (after all his og coat was from a school uniform), and of course sandals. Ya can't go wrong with sandals. Also I feel Hiro just doesn't wear standard shoes. Man is destined to have the dogs out and no one can stop him unfortunately. I also gave him a little pouch. dunno what he's got in there. Maybe some snacks on the go or literally all he owns. Probably a coin flip depending on the day... In regards to the outfit in context of his work, I see him helping his mom still at this age. Hiro will never not be a mommas boy. Additionally, I see him having his own little clairvoyant shop of his own though I do see him also popping in and helping out with the others and their work in their own way. Maybe he helps fill out Komaru and her little shop while she works on her manga on the side. Perhaps he might pop in at Makoto's school and help out. Not sure how but he could get it done... maybe. I dunno though. I just like the idea of Hiro being there for the others and being that older friend in that Hiro kind of way. Not exactly one of sage advice but just being that guy B]

As for some of his other features, I gave him the small glasses in line with his appearance in the Danganronpa 3 anime. I dunno. They just work for me. I also changed up his hair a bit by having it a mix of both up and spread out like in his original design. It's also still a bit funky though. I genuinely have no idea what to call this. It's weird and unique and I guess Hiro's rocking it so that's gotta count for something! Additionally, I styled his facial hair a bit differently though it's literally just his mustache being slightly more hairy and defined and him having the stubble/sole patch combo. Now Makoto and him can be stubble buddies!! (also chest hair buddies which I say now cus my gosh I should have given Makoto chest hair before but I'm realizing that now so screw it! just going to say that now. right here. cus why not) Also, yeah. Hiro's got the chest hair. I had to. Probably should have drawn it a bit curlier but shhhh. Just imagine the chest curls cus I am both too lazy and too tried to go and edit him now -_- One other thing of note I wish to mention is the tattoo he's got on one of his legs. I thought it'd be very dumb if he had one and it happened to be a really shitty tattoo of his mom. Don't have any specific lore for it but I think the beauty of the tattoo is that any story can work. This is Hiro after all. Maybe he got some crappy tattoo artist to do it for him off of a doodle he drew on the spot of his mom by memory. Maybe he tried needle-poking the dang thing himself even! Maybe even Syo did it for him cus he happened to be a bit out of it and happened to ask help from the local fiend of all people. Sky's the limit on what could have happened and I love it!

For the most part, I think he turned out decently well. Also it was just so fun drawing and coloring that tie-dye shirt. I gotta admit that. (1) | (8)

[themoonstonechronicler]

So the fan stuff:

First of all: The Curses

(theres a lot of popular fandom curses) (The Canary Curse is the only one that is actualy referenced in canon, but it started off as a fan thing so im including it here)

The Canary Curse: Every season, Jimmy SolidarityGaming (the blonde british guy guy who wears the superman costume for the first 2 seasons) is the first person to permanantly die. this is not a planned thing, hes just bad at the game. His death also always heralds the point that everything goes to shit and everybody starts dying. however, in the fan space, this became referenced as the "Canary Curse", as a reference to the old practice of miners bringing a canary in a cage with them into the mines, so that if carbon monoxide leaked into their mineshaft, the canary would die before any of them could, and they would all make a break for it. AKA: the canary dies first, and the moment it does, its a herald that everybody else is going to die too. This later in season 4 became canon, and received its own poem: "Canary call The first to fall, Forever caged in different walls" it also gets really interesting in seasons 5 and 6 where, not to spoil anything, the curse gets interesting.

The Miner Curse: While never confirmed in cannon, the miner curse is probably the second most commonly referenced curse in fandom, and is closely tied to the canary curse. The curse basicaly just states that immediately after Jimmy dies, Mumbo Jumbo dies too. The name is a reference to the canary curse, with mumbo jumbo being the miner holding the canary, and therefore being the second one to die, once the canary is dead too

Scarlet Fever: The Curse of Joel Smallishbeans, that every time he goes red he immediately goes absolutely insane and starts desperately killing anybody he can

Bad Angel Curse: Skizzleman will always try to help his teamates as much as he can but will inevitably fail and be the first of his team to die

Sacrifice Curse: Scott Smajor will always sacrifice his lives for the sake of his teamates, or as part of deals with other people.

theres a few more but i dont remember them, and none of them are canon, and arent reference too comonly in fandom so you should be fine not knowing any of it

Next the way people are typicaly drawn:

so basicaly everybody in the server is usualy drawn based off their skin, but in a lot of fanart you will see them drawn with certain animal characteristics added. the reasoning for this is basicaly from what i can tell it started with Grian and Jimmy and then people had fun with it and kept adding animal features to people

Grian: is typicaly portrayed a bird person. Usualy with either red, blue, and yellow Parrot Wings (typical part of grian designs of all forms because of "pesky bird") or with purple and black wings (because those are the colors of the watchers). The reason this all started was because he had a whole "pesky bird" thing in hermitcraft season 7, is really good at flying around on elytra, and also just generaly REALLY gives off bird vibes with his manerisms, so it became a comon way of depicting him, which then spread to other characters

Jimmy Solidarity: Usualy drawn with canary wings because of the canary curse

ImpulseSV: usualy drawn as part demon (because hes an "imp")

Skizzleman: usualy depicted as an angel (hes a nice guy+is best friends with Impulse+Bad Angel Curse)

TangoTek: usualy depicted as part blaze or just covered in fire.

Rendog: partialy or entirely a dog. for obvious reasons

PearlescentMoon: usualy depicted as part dog or part moth. the fandom is not in concensus on this

Scott Smajor: Always depicted as an elf with his head surrounded by a halo of stars

Joel Smallishbeans: usualy is part ogre because he used to straight up just have shrek as his minecraft skin

Lizzie LDShadowlady: fairy

Geminitay: usualy deer, though shes only been in 2 seasons

and finaly, we have the celestial symbolism. basicaly the winner of each season is assigned a a celestial body they represent.

Grian: The Sun (grian means "sun" in irish)

Scott: The Stars (has a halo of stars on his skin)

i wont spoil who the rest of the winners are, but the winners of the other 3 seaons are assigned "The Moon", "Mars" and "The Earth"

anyways thats about all i an think of in terms of fanon stuff, but theres a lot and i have a bad memory so if youre ever confused about a fandom thing please just ask so i can ramble at you for another few hours <3

this is way fucking deeper than i imagined. with all of the curses and animal symbolism i felt like you were explaining christian saint lore or something

[anniflamma]

Man, I'm going a bit crazy with the idea of Mephiboseth and Absalom a bit here like, for starters Mephisboseth has to deal with the whole drama that if it wasn't because he had already been injured that the people who took care of him would have never loved him or let him live long enough as he is now. Cuz he is the heir of Jonathan after all, but also its the exact reason that he is the son of Jonathan that David cares about the boy so much, maybe just as much as Solomon, even though it isn't so noticeable when there's a lot of the problems in the family that arouse due to David's many wives and children.

One of which is of course Absalom. And to an extent I feel like he would become jealous but, I also like to think about he would grow out of that when he sees that 1)Mephisboseth poses no threat to him, heck less threat than his brothers currently do, 2) He seems a bit more lonely in the regard that he is the only heir of a lost family whose only person he could call a familiar being the maid that saved and keeps caring for him like a mother. And 3) Maybe the idea of Tamar being close to Mephisboseth would be nice to write about (but will also add a sadder tone when Mephisboseth can't do anything about what's going to happen to Tamar. 😔) especially considering how her other bothers might be.

Like maybe Mephisboseth is also quite the contrast compared to Absalom who is pompous and extroverted in his own regard. Like even when the deals of the court get to be too much Absalom can go back to Mephisboseth because with him there's no need to put on a show so that he can look better than his two (one really, the second son seems to be as invisible as middle child gets) brothers. After some years he might not care much about his father's favoritism because well, he knows he is great enough by himself. Not as wise as Solomon but enough, probably because Mephisboseth and Tamar hype him up a lot. (And that care that Tamar shows to them probably is what makes Amnon so bitter to the point of committing horrible things in the first place. Because not only is he hurting Tamar, he also hurts Absalom who wasn't present at the one time Tamar needed her, and Mephisboseth who even if he was, wouldn't have been strong enough to help her— or maybe would have tried and ended up getting more hurt because of his disability.)

Either way of how you put the story, the tragedy will so deep throat that I can't stop thinking about it.

And sidenote, the fact that Siba was kept in charge of Mephiboseth during the rebellion of Absalom was just a little note honestly but my mind went to the idea that maybe, because Mephiboseth cares about Absalom so much he would have tried to help him in any way he can, and David— who had met in secret with Jonathan before, who knows the lengths he would have gone for to be with the one he loves– tries to impose him from meeting Absalom in the case that another son of his, the son of *Jonathan*, dies. (Not to mention he would also have broken his covenant with Jonathan if Mephiboseth were to die.)

Sorry mate. I'm so sorry but you are suffering with me after giving me this idea 😔

Hey, I have no problem suffering with you! Where are all my papers on Mephi/Absolom stuff!? 😫

I couldn't agree with you more on this! There are so many themes you could explore with a story about Mephiboseth. The conflicts... The emotional turmoil... aahh! I believe the dynamic between Absolom and Mephi would be such a fascinating aspect.

Mephiboseth suffered greatly from the trauma of his accident and the sudden loss of his father in one single day. Following this, Siba, Saul's servant, tended to him and relocated him to a place literary called “Nothing,” reinforcing Mephi’s belief that he is insignificant. Even in the Bible, his insecurity is evident as he refers to himself as “nothing more than a dead dog.” Therefore, when he gets an summon to David’s palace and meet the king and his family for the first time, I always wonder about what is his perspective? Does Mephi harbor resentment? Is there jealousy towards Absalom and David’s other sons who grew up in a luxurious palace— a life that was meant to be his? And imagine if Jonathan had survived, then Absalom and Mephiboseth would have grown up together as brothers….

And yhea, It is pretty much canon that Absolom and Mephiboseth are the opposite from each other. Like you said, one is beautiful, popular, pompous, extroverted and a prince. And the other is lame, introverted and a "nobody". Which is something I can eat everyday! I just love the opposite attracts trope!

For Absalom, he had grown up in a grand palace that strictly forbade the presence of anyone with disabilities. David, for a really stupid reason, held a strong dislike towards those who were blind or deaf. However, everything took a different turn when David brought a new child into the court, publicly declaring him as his own son and warning sternly that any harm towards the boy would be met with severe consequences. I think this sudden change could leave Absalom confused and somewhat resentful of his father's abrupt favoritism towards this random boy. He probably would feel jealous at first, but probably quickly shifts and not lingering on these emotions for long.

I also see that the relationship between David and Mephiboseth is not entirely healthy. David's protectiveness towards Mephiboseth could even borders to an obsession, stemming from his fear of losing "Jonathan” again. I thinks that Mephi would looks and resembling his father in every way, When Mephiboseth stands before him, David is overcome with emotion.

Picture him trembling on the floor before the king, uncertain of his fate, why he is here. In a surprising turn, David pulls him into a tight embrace, tears streaming down his face, perhaps softly uttering Jonathan's name. Confused and hesitant, Mephiboseth eventually returns the hug. 😭

David has good intentions and cares deeply for Mephiboseth, but his love for him seems to come with conditions. It raises the question of whether David's affection for Mephiboseth would remain unchanged if he were not Jonathan's son. The likely answer is no, something that Mephiboseth probably already knows about. The only reason David lifts the ban on disabled individuals entering the palace is because he desires to have Mephiboseth live with him and his family.

Then we have David's overprotectiveness during the rebellion. Despite being torn between loyalty to Absalom and David, Mephiboseth is forced to remain at the palace due to Siba's influence. Siba, believing that a lame person should not stand beside the King, prevents Mephiboseth from joining David but as well not allowed to follow Absalom. It could be that David might actually be alright with leaving Mephiboseth behind at the palace. A recurring theme in "The Prince’s Psalm" is how others underestimate David and try to forces him to stay low and at home. His family unknowingly hurts him when they are doing it. This mirrors how David unknowingly makes the same the mistreatment he endured from his brothers onto Mephiboseth.

There could be also a theme with David not viewing Mephibosheth as his own person. When Siba lies that Mephibosheth has betrayed David and that he has left the palace, David becomes enraged and gives all the inheritance that he would give to Mephibosheth to Siba instead, not taking time to think or ask for evidence. It also shows that he doesn’t really know Mephibosheth, that he immediately believes someone else's words. It gives the feeling of "putting him on a pedestal." What I'm trying to say here is that David loves Mephibosheth for Jonathan’s sake. It's a beautiful thing between David and Jonathan but not as much for Mephibosheth, if you know what I mean.

And there are so many parallels between David and Jonathan’s story with Absalom and Mephibosheth. It has the same story beats but the roles are reversed. The "shepherd" stays in the castle while the prince is on the run from the king.

Regarding Tamar, it's a very sensitive topic. The assault of Tamar in the Bible is only used as motivation for Absalom to start the rebellion. After that, Tamar isn't important narratively anymore. She is only mentioned once more after the assault, when Absalom names his firstborn after his sister. This act struck me as such sweet thing, cuz it's probably the only time in the Bible where a male character celebrates having a daughter. Personally, I've always been uncomfortable with female characters experiencing trauma solely to drive the motivations of male characters. As well as that a character would sexually abuse another character just to hurt someone else. Amnon comes across as nothing more than a creepy stalker in the bible, and I don't think he doesn't need any additional motivation for assaulting Tamar. Like you said, I really like the idea of having Mephibosheth and Tamar become good friends, leading Amnon to feel jealousy. But it wouldn’t be the main factor why he was harming Tamar in the first place. He was obsessed with her already and resorted to trickery to manipulate David into sending her alone to his bedchamber—a situation that would never have occurred if she hadn't been ordered or coerced into it. I do think that both Absalom and Mephi would blame themselves that they couldn't protect her but then Absalom redirects that resentment towards David. This would happened to Mephi as well but he becomes conflicted. That he don't want to blame David for forcing Tamar to be alone with Amnon at first but then realize it later. I'm not sure about what I could add to Tamar's story…. Perhaps keeping her involved in the story could enhance her character arc? For instance, instead of Siba aiding Mephibosheth in meeting Absalom secretly, maybe Tamar could fulfill this role instead? I dunno, I'm not sure.

Though if Mephibosheth and Absalom's relationship were romantic, then David would probably immediately spot it. 😅 I don’t think that he would mind in the beginning, and even it would make him reminisce his memories with Jonathan. But when Absalom starts the rebellion, he obviously sees him as a threat to Mephibosheth. And after Absalom’s death… Yeah, there we have the sad juice. David mourns for his son's death and we have Mephibosheth mourning too by David's side. It's like a reflection of Saul and Jonathan, but this time, it’s “David” who died. And it's the King and the “prince“ still living.

I WANT THIS TO BE A BOOK SO MUCH! 😫

[woomeme-land]

Ummm uhhh lemme ramble about my dead children and teenagers thank you very much

For starters they all come from the same village with a heavy anti-monster sentiment. It's not EVERY village who has this sentiment, just that particular village. Also it has some cult mentality in there

Under cut lol

Carmine Schmidt/Chara Dreemurr

Hope

Born Oct 31

9 at fall, 12 at death

AMAB NB | They/Them

Was considered 'cursed' therefore outcasted and picked on a lot

Liliana would constantly talk with (TO) them, talking about the Bible and try and 'cure' Chara of their curse

It only pissed them off and made them hate religion

Sometimes hung out with Liliana, Brooklyn, Jacklyn, Shannon, and Damien (they hated that.)

Went to the mountain to disappear and fell

We all know what happens next

Good intentions, horrible execution of plan

Trust them buttercup poisoning is an awful way to go

'Humans are dangerous and awful and shouldn't be trusted.'

Liliana Hernandez Garcia

Perseverance

Born Dec 24

11-13 at death

Cis girl | She/They

Raised in Catholic household

Friends with Brooklyn, Jacklyn, Shannon (Lyric's mother) and Damien (Lyric's father). They also considered Chara a friend (it was not reciprocated)

Stood up for Shannon when she was being bullied

Saw Asriel carry Chara's body and went to Mount Ebott for answers like three days later girlie are you stupid

Did a Very Rude Pacifist (wanted answers, not get all buddy-buddy with 'demons')

Brutally killed by a Royal Guard in Waterfall

Their death is what prompted Tori to leave

Love thy neighbor until you're a monster then it's just Keep Yourself Safe

'Monsters are Ontologically Evil™ beasts' (doesn't actually know what ontologically evil means)

Brooklyn Jackson

Kindness

Born May 2

11-13 at death

AMAB NB | They/Them

Parents weren't all that great but their aunt and uncle were amazing

Pretty damn vegan

Was out of town the week Asriel came and Liliana went to Ebott so they were shocked to hear what happened

Went to Mount Ebott to collect herbs and try take their mind off of Liliana and Chara's disappearances

Did a Neutral (somebody (I mean somebodies) had to die)

Got heat stroke trying to outrun the Guard and died

Secretly agrees with Liliana's radical anti-monster sentiment (would never say it out loud)

Wants to forgive, forget and move on but finds it hard to

'Monsters... Are really something. (they're beasts).'

Jacklyn McBean

Bravery

Born Aug 18

12-14 at death

Gender means nothing to this bitch but They/She

Just appeared one day and never left

Orphan up until age 10 they were adapted by this widowed man

Behavioral problems that were temporarily dealt with

Joined Da Squad somewhere around 4-5???

Okay okay either they were sent up to Ebott by the leader to 'put the demons in their place' or just randomly went up there

Either way she was incredibly reckless and hostile

28 killed, 14 injured

Either a Merciless Neutral or Aborted Genocide

Either way they got humbled halfway through Waterfall and decided to lay low

Got to Hotland and fought the gaurds with little to no healing items

Dumbass

'Monsters suck n all but I ain't better dan dem.'

Amari Chandler

Patience

Born Jan 28

10-12 at death

Cis guy | He/They

MAMA'S BOYYYYYYYYYYY

Friends with Lyric and Clover (besties)

Wanted to be a swordfighta

Found Chara's locket and dagger in the Ruins (the annoying dog happened) and replaced the ribbon and toy knife with those

Didn't really trust Toriel but stuck around the Ruins for almost a week before homesickness came in

Tried to betrayal kill Toriel, obviously failed because she's still alive

Bit of prick energy

Can cry on demand

Any monster who approached got the betrayal kill treatment

Just pretend to be this weak lil kid that wants to be left alone, and strike when their guard is down

6+ betrayal kills

Anyone else who just wants to chat was spared

Got to Asgore

Asked to leave

Nope.jpg

'They're demons. That's all they gonna be to me.' (Doesn't actually believe this, does he?)

Michelle 'Lyric' Chapman-Roffe

Integrity

Born April 18

12-15 at death

AFAB Librafeminine | They/He/She

For some reason, people really hate their entire family

Inherited Ma's birthmark, which people considered a Devil's Mark

Her older brother have unspecified developmental disorders

~~lyric autistic???~~~

Anyways people really hated the family

Well, save for a select few

Amari and Clover were, and still are, his besties

Daddy's Kid

Was pretty distraught at Amari being declared missing and later declared dead

Met this old widow who happened to be a former ballet instructor that's still in touch with plenty of her students

Free/reduced cost private ballet lessons

Shit went downhill tho

Old widow dies, ballet instructor forced to move away, Amari going missing, people hating the fam more

Despite his family and Clover's best efforts, their mental well-being continued to deteriorate

Until it became too much.

He went to Ebott and saw the hole and purposely fell in

They just randomly blurted out their name was Lyric when they met Goat Ma and she stuck with it

Toriel was friendly, too friendly in Lyric's eyes. Probably planning on eating them.

Explored the Ruins, trying to learn more about the place, fell into a bunch of dirt and ashes that refused to come off.

Anyways they managed to find an exit and entered Snowdin

Uh oh.png

Some monsters managed to recognize Lyric as human and saw the ashes + dirt that looked too similar to monster dust and assumed he killed someone because the results and pain of Jacklyn and Amari's actions were still fresh

Lyric tried to explain but it fell on deaf ears

Eventually one of them blurts out the whole 'Get seven human souls to shatter the barrier and destroy humanity' thing

That sets them off.

If treating these demons the way she wants to be treated isn't working, then he'll have to treat them as they treat her.

As enemies.

6 of them were killed, seven injured, the other three retreated.

The ruckus brought in a couple witnesses tho

All they saw was a human attacking a bunch of 'innocent' monsters and sounded the alarm

Couple minutes and tons of walking later Lyric eventually breaks down into tears, homesick, stressed, injured, mourning the loss of one of their dearest friends, the sort.

Dalv heard the crying and... Due to the fuckin snowstorm (and that he's bit of a dummy dum dum (affectionate)) couldn't make her out to be human

So he slowly approaches, using his magic to try and console them

It only triggers their fight or flight response and they chose fight

Kicks him in the vampballs

Goes on a tearful rant on how all monsters are the same

Dalv realizes that this is a stressed out child and not some mindless killing machine and tries to talk them down

Lyric isn't fucking having it and prepares to attack again (most likely because he's assuming Dalv is just trying to trick them)

Kanako jumps in, tries to deescalate the situation

Lyric realizes that they attacked an innocent person, in front of a child no less.

Gives the two some cinnamon bunnies, apologizes, heads out

We all know what happens next

haha they didn't die instantly to axis

Took a bit

Dalv had the misfortune of witnessing it

Yada yada yada chujin was a fuckin idiot bla bla bla Ceroba fucks up, ye ye ye soul released

'I'm not a big fan of monsters. At all.'

Alexander 'Clover' Armstrong

Justice

Born Feb 25

9-11 at death

AMAB Demigender | They/She/He

Has elements from UTY but with some deviations

First of all her parents weren't comically abusive but were horrible for each other and thus were horrible for them

Also lived in a worn down home on the outskirts

Had an older half sister Alexandra, or Ivy (Totally not from Undertale Ivy's Justice no) that went missing one day (not on Mount Ebott mind you)

Ma n pa stopped talking about her like she never existed

Anyway both parents were trying to turn Clover against each other

And they almost grew up too fast

Met Lyric and Amari and instantly got attached

The Chandlers and the Chapman-Roffes were more like family to him

Cowboy obsession

Fake southern accent

Amari went missing, they cried. Lyric went missing, they cried.

Where were they?

Are they ever gonna come back?

Where did they go?

To Mount Ebott.

So did several others.

Clover got tired of waiting and set off

First deviation is that they're more dead set on their mission and don't stay with Tori... That often.

Sometimes they found the Echo Flower containing Lyric's last words

Sometimes it's bits of their body rotting somewhere (don't ask)

Waterfall was the farthest they got before The Fuckin Flower intervened.

Classic UTY shit

Then the Petalled Bastard told Clover that Asgore has dat soul collection goin

They're pissed off because that must include the souls of their BEST FRIENDS!!!

You'd think that she'd go full Vengeance at that point but...

He surprisingly doesn't.

Most of the UTY shit happens but when she spared Ceroba, she said she's going to the damn castle anyway.

The gang try to talk him outta it but Gunhat serious as all hell

Ain't no way Asgore finna get away with killing (or ordering the killing of) their besties

Over their dead body.

Oh yeah clover fuckin dies to the GOAT

Martlet asks Asgore for Clover's gun n hat and Asgore obliges

The funeral happens

'Well Ah'll say, them monsters are a colorful bunch. Still really hate Asgore though.'

Freya 'Frisk' Sanders

Willpower, Determination, whatever

Born Nov 7

7-9 throughout the whole thing

AFAB Neutrois | Doesn't care about pronouns they mean nothing to Frisk

Actually scared of everything that's going on

That bored expression is just a front they're scared and wanna go home

Sans talking about how great of a job he did protecting them... most likely sarcasm, right?

Then he basically threatened them... And brushed it off as a joke.

What the fu-

Anyways they did an Extermination Route next reset because they're mad... Up until Papyrus which they spared. Still killed Undyne and a ton of others tho

Snas judgement, Asgore fight, Flowey absorbs the souls, reset.

Frisk figured that mass homicide wasn't a good idea and does True Pacifist

I got places to go -> I want absolutely nothing to do with... A lot of you. Some of you are fine.

Remember kids mass homicide doesn't solve shit

Sorry about making most of them racist I got this idea from a bloke from reddit and I liked it

[thethingaboutdeath]

Ummm uhhh lemme ramble about my dead children and teenagers thank you very much

For starters they all come from the same village with a heavy anti-monster sentiment. It's not EVERY village who has this sentiment, just that particular village. Also it has some cult mentality in there

Under cut lol

Carmine Schmidt/Chara Dreemurr

Hope

Born Oct 31

9 at fall, 12 at death

AMAB NB | They/Them

Was considered 'cursed' therefore outcasted and picked on a lot

Liliana would constantly talk with (TO) them, talking about the Bible and try and 'cure' Chara of their curse

It only pissed them off and made them hate religion

Sometimes hung out with Liliana, Brooklyn, Jacklyn, Shannon, and Damien (they hated that.)

Went to the mountain to disappear and fell

We all know what happens next

Good intentions, horrible execution of plan

Trust them buttercup poisoning is an awful way to go

'Humans are dangerous and awful and shouldn't be trusted.'

Liliana Hernandez Garcia

Perseverance

Born Dec 24

11-13 at death

Cis girl | She/They

Raised in Catholic household

Friends with Brooklyn, Jacklyn, Shannon (Lyric's mother) and Damien (Lyric's father). They also considered Chara a friend (it was not reciprocated)

Stood up for Shannon when she was being bullied

Saw Asriel carry Chara's body and went to Mount Ebott for answers like three days later girlie are you stupid

Did a Very Rude Pacifist (wanted answers, not get all buddy-buddy with 'demons')

Brutally killed by a Royal Guard in Waterfall

Their death is what prompted Tori to leave

'Monsters are Ontologically Evil™ beasts' (doesn't actually know what ontologically evil means'

Brooklyn Jackson

Kindness

Born May 2

11-13 at death

AMAB NB | They/Them

Parents weren't all that great but their aunt and uncle were amazing

Pretty damn vegan

Was out of town the week Asriel came and Liliana went to Ebott so they were shocked to hear what happened

Went to Mount Ebott to collect herbs and try take their mind off of Liliana and Chara's disappearances

Did a Neutral (somebody (I mean somebodies) had to die)

Got heat stroke trying to outrun the Guard and died

Secretly agrees with Liliana's radical anti-monster sentiment (would never say it out loud)

'Monsters... Are something (Fucking beasts).'

Jacklyn McBean

Bravery

Born Aug 18

12-14 at death

Gender means nothing to this bitch but They/She

Just appeared one day and never left

Orphan up until age 10 they were adapted by this widowed man

Behavioral problems that were temporarily dealt with

Joined Da Squad somewhere around 4-5???

Okay okay either they were sent up to Ebott by the leader to 'put the demons in their place' or just randomly went up there

Either way she was incredibly reckless and hostile

28 killed, 14 injured

Either a Merciless Neutral or Aborted Genocide

Either way they got humbled halfway through Waterfall and decided to lay low

Got to Hotland and fought the gaurds with little to no healing items

Dumbass

'Monsters suck n all but I ain't better dan dem.'

Amari Chandler

Patience

Born Jan 28

10-12 at death

Cis guy | He/They

MAMA'S BOYYYYYYYYYYY

Friends with Lyric and Clover (besties)

Wanted to be a swordfighta

Found Chara's locket and dagger in the Ruins (the annoying dog happened) and replaced the ribbon and toy knife with those

Didn't really trust Toriel but stuck around the Ruins for almost a week before homesickness came in

Tried to betrayal kill Toriel, obviously failed because she's still alive

Bit of prick energy

Can cry on demand

Any monster who approached got the betrayal kill treatment

Just pretend to be this weak lil kid that wants to be left alone, and strike when their guard is down

6+ betrayal kills

Anyone else who just wants to chat was spared

Got to Asgore

Asked to leave

Nope.jpg

'They're demons. That's all they gonna be to me.' (Doesn't actually believe this, does he?)

Michelle 'Lyric' Chapman-Roffe

Integrity

Born April 18

12-15 at death

AFAB Librafeminine | They/He/She

For some reason, people really hate their entire family

Inherited Ma's birthmark, which people considered a Devil's Mark

Her older brother have unspecified developmental disorders

~~lyric autistic???~~~

Anyways people really hated the family

Well, save for a select few

Amari and Clover were, and still are, his besties

Daddy's Kid

Was pretty distraught at Amari being declared missing and later declared dead

Met this old widow who happened to be a former ballet instructor that's still in touch with plenty of her students

Free/reduced cost private ballet lessons

Shit went downhill tho

Old widow dies, ballet instructor forced to move away, Amari going missing, people hating the fam more

Despite his family and Clover's best efforts, their mental well-being continued to deteriorate

Until it became too much.

He went to Ebott and saw the hole and purposely fell in

They just randomly blurted out their name was Lyric when they met Goat Ma and she stuck with it

Toriel was friendly, too friendly in Lyric's eyes. Probably planning on eating them.

Explored the Ruins, trying to learn more about the place, fell into a bunch of dirt and ashes that refused to come off.

Anyways they managed to find an exit and entered Snowdin

Uh oh.png

Some monsters managed to recognize Lyric as human and saw the ashes + dirt that looked too similar to monster dust and assumed he killed someone because the results and pain of Jacklyn and Amari's actions were still fresh

Lyric tried to explain but it fell on deaf ears

Eventually one of them blurts out the whole 'Get seven human souls to shatter the barrier and destroy humanity' thing

That sets them off.

If treating these demons the way she wants to be treated isn't working, then he'll have to treat them as they treat her.

As enemies.

6 of them were killed, seven injured, the other three retreated.

The ruckus brought in a couple witnesses tho

All they saw was a human attacking a bunch of 'innocent' monsters and sounded the alarm

Couple minutes and tons of walking later Lyric eventually breaks down into tears, homesick, stressed, injured, mourning the loss of one of their dearest friends, the sort.

Dalv heard the crying and... Due to the fuckin snowstorm (and that he's bit of a dummy dum dum (affectionate)) couldn't make her out to be human

So he slowly approaches, using his magic to try and console them

It only triggers their fight or flight response and they chose fight

Kicks him in the vampballs

Goes on a tearful rant on how all monsters are the same

Dalv realizes that this is a stressed out child and not some mindless killing machine and tries to talk them down

Lyric isn't fucking having it and prepares to attack again (most likely because he's assuming Dalv is just trying to trick them)

Kanako jumps in, tries to deescalate the situation

Lyric realizes that they attacked an innocent person, in front of a child no less.

Gives the two some cinnamon bunnies, apologizes, heads out

We all know what happens next

haha they didn't die instantly to axis

Took a bit

Dalv had the misfortune of witnessing it

Yada yada yada chujin was a fuckin idiot bla bla bla Ceroba fucks up, ye ye ye soul released

'I'm not a big fan of monsters. At all.'

Alexander 'Clover' Armstrong

Justice

Born Feb 25

9-11 at death

AMAB Demigender | They/She/He

Has elements from UTY but with some deviations

First of all her parents weren't comically abusive but were horrible for each other and thus were horrible for them

Also lived in a worn down home on the outskirts

Had an older half sister Alexandra, or Ivy (Totally not from Undertale Ivy's Justice no) that went missing one day (not on Mount Ebott mind you)

Ma n pa stopped talking about her like she never existed

Anyway both parents were trying to turn Clover against each other

And they almost grew up too fast

Met Lyric and Amari and instantly got attached

The Chandlers and the Chapman-Roffes were more like family to him

Cowboy obsession

Fake southern accent

Amari went missing, they cried. Lyric went missing, they cried.

Where were they?

Are they ever gonna come back?

Where did they go?

To Mount Ebott.

So did several others.

Clover got tired of waiting and set off

First deviation is that they're more dead set on their mission and don't stay with Tori... That often.

Sometimes they found the Echo Flower containing Lyric's last words

Sometimes it's bits of their body rotting somewhere (don't ask)

Waterfall was the farthest they got before The Fuckin Flower intervened.

Classic UTY shit

Then the Petalled Bastard told Clover that Asgore has dat soul collection goin

They're pissed off because that must include the souls of their BEST FRIENDS!!!

You'd think that she'd go full Vengeance at that point but...

He surprisingly doesn't.

Most of the UTY shit happens but when she spared Ceroba, she said she's going to the damn castle anyway.

The gang try to talk him outta it but Gunhat serious as all hell

Ain't no way Asgore finna get away with killing (or ordering the killing of) their besties

Over their dead body.

Oh yeah clover fuckin dies to the GOAT

Martlet asks Asgore for Clover's gun n hat and Asgore obliges

The funeral happens

'Well Ah'll say, them monsters are a colorful bunch. Still really hate Asgore though.'

Freya 'Frisk' Sanders

Willpower, Determination, whatever

Born Nov 7

7-9 throughout the whole thing

AFAB Neutrois | Doesn't care about pronouns they mean nothing to Frisk

Actually scared of everything that's going on

That bored expression is just a front they're scared and wanna go home

Sans talking about how great of a job he did protecting them... most likely sarcasm, right?

Then he basically threatened them... And brushed it off as a joke.

What the fu-

Anyways they did an Extermination Route next reset because they're mad... Up until Papyrus which they spared. Still killed Undyne tho

Snas judgement, Asgore fight, Flowey absorbs the souls, reset.

Frisk figured that mass homicide wasn't a good idea and does True Pacifist

I got places to go -> I want absolutely nothing to do with... A lot of you. Some of you are fine.

Remember kids mass homicide doesn't solve shit

[astralcrescent-fr]

Hi. This is Astral. The cat everyone loves to unfairly shit on and talk shit about. Don't worry, I get it. You love having a helpless target to bully. Well. Earlyish this year, I started making adoptables.

They made me very happy. I love seeing everyone's dragons and making them something that makes them smile. It filled my heart and my life with joy. Unfortunately, my life is and always has been a living nightmare.

One that only seems to ever get worse-- not better-- because of the people we have unfortunately been surrounded by for over 20 years. Many of these people now populate the spaces that you all rumor and gossip monger in, using it as a platform to perpetuate hatred, incivility, and cruelty directed unfairly at myself and others.

Some of these people ruined our real life in a very real and permanent way that ended in my and my family's homelessness.

Some of what is said about my body, my system, is true. Most of it is not-- or else is founded in hatred and bigotry. Most of the time we choose the high road and refuse to acknowledge their simple-minded, petty, sociopathic, monstrous behavior. But the fact of the matter is several of these people have irreparably ruined our entire life and have sentenced us to death.

Some deliberately got us put on the streets with nowhere to go and with none of the things we need to survive. They cost us our home, job, insurance, healthcare, doctors, medicine, sanity, peace of mind, clothes, bed, mobility assistance, cancer treatment, HRT, pets, ability to care for the pets we have left, father-figure, right to see our father before he died, ability to feed or clothe ourselves, or have any hope for living one more year on this planet. They also have held almost everything we own hostage for two years, knowing we will never afford to pay to get it back. I will not name these people because I am a better person than them and they get to live knowing that fact.

This summer we spent 2 weeks without power in 109f heat. We have lost almost all of our teeth because of them. Our dog died because they denied us the money we needed to care for her. Our father figure-- who we have a dragon named for-- also died because the person caring for him had to leave to come scrape us off the streets because of these people. We are trapped in an abusive household, where we are constantly being tormented and put in states of desperation where we act and behave in ways that humiliate us.

We suddenly developed a condition that has made even white webpages trigger life-threatening migraines. We lost the ability to use our glasses, as a result. Our doctor told us "Just go to a neurologist" and when we said Texas rejected us for healthcare, insurance, medicaid, disability, and foodstamps-- she just shrugged.

We have untreated skin cancer and a high probability of cervical cancer. We have a herniated disc in our neck, caused by one of the people who talk mad shit about us, that requires surgery they have actively refused to pay for despite us having a surgeon willing to testify against them. Instead they sent their abusive siblings to blackmail us into silence. Then our mother abruptly went into a coma. Then our cat nearly died. Now, just the other day, our father died and we can no longer afford our utilities.

We have begged for financial assistance for 2 years and all people do is accuse us of being a scammer for being disabled and poor, and they perpetuate this rancid narrative about us that is either objectively false or founded in bigotry and therefore not remotely a reflection on our actual character.

So we are literally, actually, dying in real life. We are going to be homeless for the second time in two years because of the very same people you love reading talking shit about us in your sociopathic little circle-jerk spaces while having zero self-awareness on how that actually makes YOU look like as a person.

There are two facts here.

Either people help us get financial aid.

Or we die.

There is no third option.

What has been done to us is an act of inhumane cruel and unusual torture on a helpless person who was never in power.

We will not be fulfilling our outstanding art orders as we cannot. If you want us to be able to, you need to help our family.

Those are the facts.

You can help us in these locations, bearing in mind that Ko-Fi lies when they say they don't take a cut-- they absolutely do.

The only way to guarantee we get the entire sum is to go directly through our caretaker's paypal.

But people like seeing the funni number bar go up more often than not, so we also link our Ko-Fi. Just be aware, that because our needs never really get any Better, that the goal is constantly being reset. Because. We live in poverty. Have no jobs. Have been rejected for All Aid by Texas. (That's Mama Luigi, to you.) And have no one left to provide for us. Because all of our providers turned out to be liars.

-> Ko-Fi -> P$yp$l

[nathank77]

11/23/24

7:34 p.m Added to Significantly 7:50 p.m

That most fucked up part about Riley is i appear to be the problem. I have a mental illness therefore I should cope with it right? It's not that easy, mental illness is real. Ocd is fucking terrible. It's legit living in fear constantly about everything. You want to die but you don't want to die and you're constantly trying to protect yourself and you're in constant fight or flight over micro things like touching a door knob or a light switch or a corner of a plastic bag that touched that other thing...

And my anxiety from it was so high due to Riley I almost went hyper!! It's so stressful that i don't think while I live here even behind my barricade that I'll ever go into remission bc everything is contaminated by Riley!! Her hair is everywhere! And I mean just not touching her is incredibly soothing. It's the smallest little bit of relief. Same with my barricade. I'm safe here in this corner.

The saddest part is i don't think my graves will go into remission here. I think regardless of Riley it's impossible to go into remission while my environment is always stressful and negative... and while knowing everyone in my life thinks I'm the problem and I should just get over it... and they truly don't care about me... knowing that is severely affecting my mental health. Knowing that even if we rehome her... they didn't do it for me. I was irrelevant I was the problem..

Its sad that Mike abandoned me... cause he is an ocd therapist.. I would never be able to get flooded without going fully hyper and having to increase medication and being in constant fear but he could have helped WITH SOME OF IT.

Regardless one of the worst part is they don't care about riley either... and she's just an object to them all. Not a living thing that deserves a better life...

And this is going to sound fucked up, but even if Riley never leaves and i live behind my barricade until she dies, I'm really not going to try with her. Why? Well to protect my mental health and my thyriod... I mean sure it's avoidance behavior but my thyriod dictated that it's the only way.... beyond that if I don't get attached to her when she dies in my house in pain suffering and becomes stiff and cold and is laid out on the floor like Nala I'll still be sad. But I won't be as traumatized. If mom walked into my room and said Riley died, I wouldn't believe her and I'd say I'm not going out there until you remove her body and put it in a casket.

If mom comes to me like she did with Nala and says Riley is dying right now i think you should come out there.. I won't do it to myself. I don't need the trauma... I'll always remember how I couldn't touch Nala with my bare hand while she died next to me and I felt her body go cold through my hoodie sleeve as I had my hand on her back to make her feel safe. And skye made a comment, "you can't even touch her." I'll remember that until the day I die.

If I ever get a family and get out tbh I think I'm cutting off my sister completely. And I'll see my mother barely ever. I don't want this family. They aren't my family. "You can't even touch her." I was already traumatized watching Nala die and feeling her body get cold as she ruptured on my couch next to me. And I'll always remember that I couldn't even touch her with my bare hand... and that my sister made a comment about it and that I was hurt before she made that comment that I couldn't touch her with my bare hands bc i wanted to. I thought about it but I couldn't do it bc of my ocd.

I cannot go through that with another dog. Riley has made me never want a dog again. Riley is going to die very young here. She will have all sorts of health problems and never see a vet and she will die in this house like Nala in severe pain. We don't deserve a dog. We can't afford a dog. And If I'm to ever get a dog again... it's being taken to the vet. When it's time if we have the time she's getting put down and I'll have dealt with my ocd and my trauma from Nala.

Until then it isn't worth going hyperthyroid and living in fear just to slowly watch her health deteriorate at a much faster rate than it should bc my family can't take her to the vet. I'm not going to subject myself to that kind of stress and that kind of trauma. Knowing she ate all that stuff and she still hasn't had a cat scan. Knowing she's got two bald spots and they still haven't taken her to the vet to get treatment...it's only going to get worse and worse. She's so depressed. She's so anxiuos. And she's just going to get sick and die at like 5 years old.

I mean I can't subject myself to more trauma. It will still be traumatizing. But not as much. It'll still fuck me up whether i walk into the room and watch her die. Or whether i stay in my room and aviod it.

No matter what, knowing my family killed another dog bc of negligence is going to kill me. My thyriod needs to stay safe. My mental health needs to stay safe. And Nala is the only dog i need to cope with the trauma from. I just want to save Riley before my family kills her.

My final thought is I'm anxiuos about liv retaliating bc I yelled at her. But I guess if she rubs shit on my food I'll kill myself if I get sick. I guess if she hurts my car I'll call the cops and say I'm suspicious of her bc of a recent argument. And if it's badly damaged like undrivable I'll commit suicide. It's always a way out... bc I can't afford car stuff. Hopefully watching me live behind a barricade scared to touch a dog is enough for her to laugh at me and is enough retaliation. Hopefully she's mature enough to be like well I mean look at him I don't got to do anything. This is enough. I'll just watch him suffer. I got to sleep soon and I needed to self soothe. I have a way out. And hopefully she just laughs at me being mentally ill and it's enough.

[code01746]

@akagamiko said: “ there are times where i can’t see things that i should. ” // [ 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐀 (𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏) ]

❝ out of willful ignorance, or because you realized it too late? ❞

　even if rosinante repeated his life another thousand times, not doomed to repeat his mistakes but instead free to change things as he wished, he still never would have expected this day to transpire the way that it has. he was just fishing one moment, alone on the furthest corner of a secluded spit of beach, and suddenly he was approached, out of the blue, by one of the most terrifying pirates alive, redhaired shanks.

or, that's what he thought; although it had been several years since rosinante had submitted his 'indefinite leave of absence' to the marines (long enough ago to, at this point, be understood as a resignation in everything but name) he still remembered the things that were repeatedly drilled into his head. specifically, a list of pirates not to engage with, under any circumstances, if they happened to cross paths. not without proper authorization. not without a full squadron, preferably with several devil fruit users and an admiral or two. never alone. you will die, they told him. you are unprepared.

it was a lot of scary talk for a guy who, now that the two were sitting beside one another, ultimately just seemed like... a guy. he was surprised at first, of course he was; he expected to be completely alone, and even enveloped himself with his silence technique for added concentration while fishing. he got too concentrated, it seems, being so surprised when shanks shook his shoulder (presumably after several failed attempts to shout through his soundproof wall) and he jumped out of his skinーoff the dock into the water. thank the seas this man seemed to realize intuitively that he was a devil fruit eater, and therefore would drown without his help. rosinante couldn't help but wonder if he had rescued poor souls like that before.

and now they were just... sitting there, having a conversation together, rosinante looking like a wet dog and too self-conscious to shed his clothing despite how weak the seawater-soaked clothes clinging to his skin made him feel. he hadn't noticed that shanks and his crew had set themselves up on the beach. so it was true; shanks, despite his fearsome reputation, really did just... drink & party a lot, huh?

　　　　　　❝ you don't seem like either type. ❞

[looseratinthegarage]

Hi! I've been thinking about this for awhile but how would slashers survive an zombie apocalypse with or without a s/o?

Slashers in a zombie apocalypse

Omg I had sm fun writing this!!

Michael Rz

•Terrified. Undoubtedly. Terrified. But! Would do remarkably well! He’d dig a hole somewhere and call it home.

•he’s a big man so food is an issue. But he manages.

•would have constant adrenaline if he has a s/o. He wants to protect you and keep you safe. If you die, especially if it’s because of him, he’ll…. He’ll walk unarmed into a swarm of zombies and fight them with his bare hands. Once he is inevitably turned, his body will wreak havoc while his mind is finally put to rest.

Michael Og

•lil man would be fine. He’d pick a house to make a base in and board it up.

•if the zombies are drawn to noise he’ll be totally okay. Dude doesn’t speak and is so quiet walking around. There’s no way he’d gain their attention…. Unless his unbathed stench brought them…

•I think he’d kill a bunch of zombies…. and eat them. Therefore turning into one. Unlike someone else on this list, he wasn’t trying to fuck around, he just needed food and went nom nom.

Jason

•Now this one’s interesting! Are we talking about zombie Jason? Or living?

•Zombie Jason is a fucking unit and would turn the most people. The only drawback is he kills extremely violently, he rips his victims apart, aka he makes a lot of crawlers or immobile zombinos.

•Living Jason I think would get very overwhelmed. He’d use his machete and or some sort of long ranged weapon that isn’t a gun.

•He’d do well for a long time, but Pamela would call to him from the other side, but only if he was alone or if y/n had been infected/died. He’d cradle his mom's head and possibly his s/o or a belonging of theirs and bury himself in the earth.

Hewitt Family

•Thomas goes into sheer panic. But less panic when he remembers how far from civilization they live.

•Thomas, Hoyt, and Monty if it’s before that even cut Thomas gave him will work together to make huge scrap metal and wood walls on the perimeter of their property.

•Luda Mae goes up into the attic to find scraps of cloth, old guns, and other helpful stuff. She’ll be handling the house and cooking as she normally does, while Thomas, Hoyt and again, maybe Monty, will patrol the perimeter.

•The tea lady moves into the Hewitt estate, and Henrietta brings her trailer into the encased property.

•they’re very stressed about how they’ll be able to provide food for everyone. They’ll turn one or more of the fields into crop land. Luda Mae, Thomas, Monty, and Henrietta will work the fields as well. Not Hoyt. Never Hoyt. I think he’s worried about breaking a nail.

•Long story short, I think they’ll do very well for themselves.

Sawyer Family (-choptop)

•Almost a complete disaster. Nubbins has a zombie chained up outside, he’s been calling it his gross dog. Drayton and Bubba tried to build a wall around the house, but couldn't do it by themselves. Bubbas panicking because they’ll have to eat his pet chicken. Drayton is taking his stress out on everyone. Grandpa is god knows where, no one’s remembered to check on him.

•Yeah they don’t make it.

Freddy

•he would either do amazing or instantly get turned, no in between.

•I think he’d bite a zombie- “how ya like that bitch” and then turn…. Like an idiot.

•Undead Freddy is far more nightmarish than living Freddy. Yuck!

•or on the other hand would kick some undead ass.

•his powers wouldn’t really help him? If my memory serves me well, the more people fear him, the more power he has. Zombies can’t feel fear, there’s only one thing they think about nom nom. Hence he’d have to use his claws or another weapon.

Yautja

•100% fine. Out of all of the boys, he’s good. Like- he’s going to be completely fine. Bruh doesn’t even live on this planet.

•He’ll make sure there’s not a scratch on his s/o, and gods forbid you get infected he can easily cure you with yautja technology.

•they can’t infect him, cus he’s, ya know, a fucking alien. So even if they do bite him, he’ll just be more pissed off then anything.

•He’s not worried about it, he can hop in his ship and just leave. Depending on your mate, he might let you bring family or close friends with you both. He’s not going to be happy about it. But he’ll allow it. Will also allow pets…..hesitantly….

[freakingoutthesquares]

The Think Tank: Russell Senior Words: Pat Reid, Photographer: Retna Taken from Select Magazine, October 1996 Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

Pulp's fiddle maestro Russell Senior dispenses earthy wisdom on Lovejoy, pastry dishes, Tony Blair and Cinzano.

Which are worse - pigeons or rats? I'd say rats. Pigeons wouldn't survive a nuclear holocaust, and rats would. I think that's got to be against rats really.

What's your favourite haircut? I always think Stuart from Menswear's hair looks very nice, a kind of centre parting that doesn't make him look like a swot.

What's your favourite non-UK country in the world? I like Italy very much and I found Iceland a place I'd like to go back to. Apart from that, you can stuff it really... In America the generosity of spirit is totally genuine, they do want you to have a nice day, they really do. And anyone who's got a little cafe, they want it to be the best cafe and they want you to enjoy it. And you don't get that on the M1 at all.

What is the secret of being really well dressed? Go to a lot of jumble sales. This suit was made by a tailor in Sheffield called Ashley Rogers. I think the London East End gangs used to go up there to get their suits made in the '60s. He effs and blinds, makes a chalk mark on you, swears, drops his fag, and goes and does it. I'd formerly never paid more than £10 for a suit. This one was the princely sum of £250.

Is there any cause that you would be prepared to die for? No. Other than rescuing my loved ones from a bad fate. I have in the past been involved in left-wing things and put myself in mild amounts of danger, but I'd never be the one at the front of the picket line. I'd always be three or four rows back, pushing.

If you could invent a new recreational drug what would it be like? It would put you in the frame of mind that you're in just as a thunderstorm breaks, when the electrons in the air dissipate and you get that unaccountable euphoric feeling.

What do you reckon to Lovejoy? Is antiques dealing really like that? Not in the slightest. He trolls about in his aimless fashion and 17th century bronzes and ancient manuscripts just happen to turn up on his doorstep. Most antique dealers basically buy junk for £10 and sell it for £20. My specialist field was glassware, which is hard to provenance because it doesn't have marks. That stuff is rare and valuable cos there isn't much of it. There's lots of great things that aren't worth a lot of money, like potatoes. If potatoes were rare they'd be worth a fortune, cos they're delicious.

Which is better - rock music or dance music? I'm not a massive fan of either, I prefer pop music. I used to be a rocker, I still like Motorhead, actually. I don't like dance music particularly, cos I find it difficult to dance to. I don't claim any knowledge on the subject.

If you had to do national service, which regiment would you choose to serve in? It'd have to be the SAS, because apparently they get shaved every morning no matter where they are.

If you had to give up your life and go and live in a novel or film, which one would it be? Film: probably La Dolce Vita. Novel: Possession by AS Byatt. It's about these two researchers, a bloke researching a nineteenth century male writer and a woman researching a nineteenth century female writer. They don't like each other's authors very much, but they uncover letters that show the two writers were lovers. As you might guess, the two researchers end up being drawn to each other's writer and therefore to each other. Rather like the owners of the dogs in 101 Dalmatians. I didn't know it was a 'post-feminist novel', or I certainly wouldn't have read it.

Is Tony Blair selling out the Labour Party? Well, he does have the distinction of being the first Labour leader to have sold out before getting in office, so he might be a total subversive like the Tory posters make out. God, those posters are so racist. This sinister black figure with red eyes, behind a red curtain. I think they're definitely trying to play a subliminal race thing. I wish Labour were as the Tories portray them to be - I'd probably vote for them. I'm more of a Scargillite. I didn't vote for Kinnock because he was too right-wing.

What do you make of the new Suede album? Haven't heard it. I think Bernard was a hard act to follow. They were just so hot, and now they don't seem to fit into the lineage and canopy of 'britpop' that's been defined. It seems like it could have all been there without Suede. I thought their singles were great. I remember thinking at the time that they were better than ours. I didn't think their albums were as good as ours, though.

Going to Knebworth? I'm not, no. I just fancy a night out in London. I haven't been for ages. It's the most exciting city on earth, everybody you meet around the world wants to live in London, and Londoners say 'It's so boring'...

Who are your violin-playing role models? I'd be hard put to emulate even the worst busker. I don't like Nigel Kennedy's playing very much. I like classical music as it's habitually performed, I don't like all that extra fortissimo.

Say something in a foreign language. "L'erba dell baccino e siempre piu verde." The other man's grass is always greener. It's from an Italian version of the Furry Freak Brothers comic.

It's the night before the Warrington gig and you've got 'gout'. Who do you nominate as your replacement? Anybody who could play the guitar and the violin to the standard of the average 15 year old. Someone able to master the rudiments of the notes, the squeakiness of the noises and the random element.

If pop music was made illegal tomorrow, what career would you pursue? There's a number of possibilities. One is being an inventor; I do invent things. Just domestic appliances, little gadgets to amuse myself, like a new kind of pastry dish. I do like to think that at some point in my life I will (a) write a novel, (b) do some inventions, and (c) open a restaurant.

Do you know anyone who's had cosmetic surgery? Me. False teeth. Three front ones. I lost the originals on a piece of wholegrain bread. Apparently, after assault, the second biggest cause of tooth loss is wholegrain bread.

What's the most erotic moment you've ever seen in a film? A film called The Beast by Walerian Borowczek, I remember that being quite saucy at the time. It was the less explicit things that were the most erotic, the heaviness of these oak-panelled rooms, it might have been Bach playing... I don't find squalor erotic. I know it's a Pulp thing and I recognise the truth of Jarvis' lyrics, but I like sophistication, Cinzano, these kinds of things..."

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

One of my favorite narrative choices/interpretations in twdg is how tied together Clementine’s “death” scene and Lee’s death are. Yeah sure, there are the obvious visual parallels but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about.

For the longest time, I was one of the people who always shot Lee, y’know? It just makes sense, you can’t let Lee become a walker, it’s so much more tragic for Clementine to be the one to put him down. Clearly shooting him is the right answer. After all, the player percentages don’t lie.

But then years passed and I eventually played the other route where I asked Clementine to leave Lee, and I am no longer one of those people.

Don’t get me wrong. Both endings make me cry. They’re powerful in different ways, but there’s something about the way that leaving Lee to turn into a walker can affect an interpretation of TFS and Clementine as a character.

[note: this turned into a bit of a Clementine character analysis and it’s long and I’m sorry that this is the way I am]

Y’see, having played through the series as much as I have, I’ve grown to love this narrative that you can build leading back to this choice and the ways it stuck with Clementine over the years, and subsequently affects the way she raises AJ.

When you ask Clementine to leave Lee, he gets the chance to give her a little more advice and it get progressively heavy:

Lee: You can leave me. It's okay.

Clementine: You'll be just like them.

Lee: It's okay. It won't be me.

Clementine: Lee...

Lee: Clem, it's time to go. You gotta get out of here.

Clementine: You can come with me.

Lee: No, honey, I can't. It's okay.

Clementine: Please?

Lee: You have to go, now.

Clementine: Maybe...maybe...I shouldn't let you turn.

Lee: I don't want you to have to do that.

From here, you have a set of options that allows Lee to explain why she shouldn’t shoot him: Shooting people changes you and Lee doesn’t want Clem to get used to that, she can remember him alive as her last memory of him rather than her shooting him, she should save the bullet, or the noise will draw more attention than it’s worth.

After that, depending on your choices, he’ll further explain himself. I usually get:

Lee: Pulling the trigger of a gun and ending a life, Clem...you feel yourself lose something every time. The first time, the most. Don't do it unless you absolutely have to.

Clementine: I'll go. I'll...leave you. I'll go as fast as I can.

Lee: And as safe as you can. Always be safe.

Lee is barely breathing at this point, he can’t keep his eyes open, he looks like he’s on the verge of turning into a walker at any moment. Clementine, gun her in her little hands, turns to him and one last time, asks him not to go.

Like… the whole scene is more than enough to make you teary eyed.

There are a lot of reasons for making this choice, most of which you’re allowed to explain through Lee. Some people have a more logical take on this by saying that it doesn’t matter if Lee turns or not, Clementine isn’t in danger with him chained up, therefore she doesn’t have to waste a bullet in killing him. That bullet might be the difference between life and death in the future. 

Then there’s a more emotional approach of not wanting Clementine to be the one to have to kill Lee, forever traumatizing her even further after everything she went through with the stranger and her parents. Lee can’t ask her to do that, he can’t force this little girl to kill him just so that he won’t turn into a walker. It’ll change her.

I like to think it’s all of the above. Lee’s made sure that he can’t get to her, she’s armed and knows how to protect herself, and he cares more about her having an extra bullet that could save her life rather than wasting it on him when no matter what, death is inevitable for him. It’s like what he says about Larry if you tried to save him: 

“It's like with Larry, honey. He was goin', one way or another. But at that moment I couldn't do more violence. You have to be careful about that. It'll consume you.”

She shouldn’t do that if she doesn’t have to. Lee has no idea what’s going to happen after he dies, if he’ll just be dead and gone or if part of him will remain as a walker, or something else. He reassures her that the walker left in his place won’t actually be him, but no one actually knows that. Yet, that doesn’t matter, he cares more about Clementine than himself at this point.

But what does this choice do to Clementine?

Sure, she doesn’t have to live with the fact that she killed the man who swore to protect her, even after she was indirectly responsible for him getting bitten in the first place. He asked her to leave him there, to let him become a monster, to leave before she could see him like that. He makes sure she knows that this was the right thing, the best thing for everyone, and I do think she believed him, or at least want to, in that moment. Underneath her grief and stress of the worst day of her life, she at least had Lee’s last words to her and his reassurance that she’s going to make it through this.

But then we move onto the other seasons, and Clementine isn’t the little girl she was in the first season. Season two is pretty much summed up with: “Clementine does ANYTHING and gets punished for it.”

She goes through so much shit in S2. You can try to make all the morally good choices you want and Clementine will still end up getting slapped around, people she grows to care about fall dead all around her, and she gets a lot of blame for it. She’s forced to kill a dog that attacks her, Kenny lashes out at her more than once, blaming her for Sarita’s death no matter what you do, she can’t save Sarah, she couldn’t save Luke, everything is falling apart and by the end, everyone’s fucking dead with the exception of either Jane or Kenny, depending on you choices. 

Clementine carries all this shit with her, like Kenny and Bonnie telling her that just because she’s a little girl, she thinks she can get people killed and it’s okay since she’s sorry. Of course she’s going to internalize all of it and bring it back to Lee. She has conversations with Kenny where she’ll open up about how it was her fault he died. Kenny, for all his faults, will usually try to reassure her that it wasn’t.... but then pulls the shit he does so y’know... mixed messages that help no one.

But by the end of it, no matter what ending you get, little newborn AJ is left in Clementine’s care.

From all of this, we know that Clementine tends to blame herself for the deaths of those she cares about, which is traced back to Lee. It’s when we get to ANF that her tune changes a bit. She’s jaded, bitter, selfish, and Lee was right..... all of this violence did change her. 

I mean, she just fucking shoots the guy who traded her bad bullets, and while she didn’t mean to... she still pointed a loaded gun at his head and pulled the trigger, something Lee taught her to never do unless she had to. Then, she wants Javi to cover for her, to lie... and if you don’t, because hey murder and lying bad, she gets upset and tries to make Javi feel like an asshole for telling the truth rather than validating her actions.

When I say ANF Clementine is my least favorite, it’s because her behavior, while it makes sense, is so frustrating and unbearable at times. It making sense doesn’t excuse it. 

She steals, lies, pulls several Kennys where she gets pissy when you don’t do what she wants you to, is willing to assist in Lingard’s death if it benefits her without even considering any other options or what a dark place he’s in, and she’s at a point where she just assumes everyone around her will inevitably die or leave her. That’s just what happens, that’s why she’s alone, and as a means of coping, she tries to spin it this way to alleviate some of the pain she’s had thrown at her for years.

Now, ANF Clementine isn’t all bad, she has a lot of redeeming moments where the Clem I knew in the past two seasons will shine through. You as Javi can help her grow and get onto a better path than the one she was goin’ down. She makes friends with Gabe, which is important since as far as we know, she hasn’t had a friend close to her age since Sarah. She has hope again after David tells her AJ survived, and she has more than just survival on her mind.

It’s just.... it’s sad to think that she’s at a point where she seems to have momentarily forgotten Lee’s final words to her. And when I think about it..... this behavior would almost make more sense if she DID shoot Lee, y’know? But in this timeline we’re discussing, she didn’t, she left him to turn and he gave his reasons for why he wanted that... but she still ended up this way. Nothing he could say or do could’ve prevented that. 

But at the end of ANF, Clementine has one goal: get AJ back.

Through all of this, through ANF and before the events of TFS... I truly believe that Clementine lost herself. 

She’s forgotten a lot of the things Lee taught her, she’s forgotten about her parents in the sense of “what would they think if they saw me now,” she’s overwhelmed with all that bad that those good things, that hope she had, has been put on the backburner.

She’s been forced to live in a world that’s cruel to you no matter if you’re “good” or “bad”, and that can put you into that selfish mindset where you tend to just disregard everyone you don’t have any emotional connection to, and even then, people you’re close to will get the same treatment, whether intentional or not. It’s unflattering, unlikable, and the only reason more people don’t see that is because it’s Clementine. 

It gets to a point where she has a few different paths she can go on, and right now, she’s on a destructive one. 

I think through knowing the Garcia’s, she was put on a better path but she’s still lost. She’s hyper focused on getting AJ back. Nothing else matters, nothing will stand in her way, and that leads to a breaking point in her character.

So...the McCarroll Ranch flashback is a thing. 

The varying interpretations of this scene are interesting to discuss.

Some will say Clementine was continuing her extremely selfish and destructive behavior when she found the ranch in flames and was willing to commit more murder in order to get AJ back, even if it meant traumatizing him with the death of his caretaker, and if she had shown up earlier before they were under attack, who knows how far she would’ve gone to take him away.

Others say no, that Clementine found the ranch compromised, she was acting in self-defense when she shot Eddie and AJ’s caretaker, Helen. It was either her or Clementine, as Helen was pulling a gun out when she spotted Clem, who reacted accordingly. If she hadn’t shown up, perhaps AJ wouldn’t be alive right now. We don’t know. 

For me, it’s a bit of both. She finds the ranch and panics because yeah, it’s on fire and there are assholes running around, shooting the place up. She holds Eddie at gunpoint, demanding to know where the kids are. He thinks she’s another asshole raider and even tells her that he’s not gonna let her take a kid, and she kills him. She doesn’t try to explain herself, she just demands the info and kills him. It’s not great, but yeah, he would've hurt her if she didn’t kill him. 

Then, she hears Helen talking to AJ, who is in the locker. I don’t know why she didn’t say anything. There isn’t an option to. Maybe she thought silence was the more peaceful route, or it would give her an upper hand. But, then Helen hears here and panics, pulls out a gun, and Clementine shoots her.

This is the moment. 

She shoots this woman in the children’s room, and after examining her body, realizes that she was the one caring for AJ. Clementine is looking over this woman, and you get pieces of her thoughts like-

“She was taking care of him”

“I had no choice”

“I’m sorry”

Then, Clementine finally gets what she’s longed for- she has AJ back... and he’s covered in blood, sobbing, terrified of her. She coaxes him out of the locker and he sees his caretaker dead on the floor.

This scene, with Clementine looking at the body, walking through rubble and fire to put AJ in the car, he’s staring up at her with this unfamiliar look in his eyes.... and she stops for a second... 

I truly feel like this is the moment where Clementine is suddenly hit by everything all at once, and she’s actually questioning, “Oh god..... who am I? How did I get here and what have I done?”

She did all of this for AJ, and now she has him, so it was worth it, right? Everything she did was a necessary evil and it was worth it... right?

... but imagine if Clementine did inject Lingard, killing him. She assisted in a man's death to get here. Was taking his life necessary? If you know how the choices work, then no, it’s not. But Clementine doesn’t know that. 

If you stopped her, then she still gunned down several people to stand where she is. She’s has left AJ so wounded by killing Helen, and while we know she didn’t have a choice in the moment, AJ doesn’t understand that. He doesn’t even recognize Clementine and she can see that in the way he looks at her.

“Pulling the trigger of a gun and ending a life, Clem...you feel yourself lose something every time.....”

TFS is where I think Clementine has found herself again and that’s why she’s more balanced and likable, and there are more references to Lee and her parents.... yeah, I know it’s mostly the writers doing it for fanservice and to make us cry, but I’m choosing to look at it in the narrative rather than with that intention.

Clementine has AJ back, she’s been raising him the best way she can, she’s taught him to use a gun since he needs to protect himself, and Lee taught her when she was little, too. She’s taught him to read,  taught him survival techniques she’s picked up, all that. She’s also more playful with him, she smiles more. She’s not a bitter 13-year-old like in ANF. Survival and safety is #1 and her attitude is mostly serious, but she isn’t afraid to tease or be a little silly.

But here’s the deal..... usually when I replay the series, I’ll leave Lee to turn but I’ll have Clementine tell AJ that if she ever gets bit, he’ll shoot her.

“What?” I hear you say. “But... haven’t you been rambling on and on about how murder bad and how leaving Lee was better because she didn’t have to live with the fact that she killed him?? but you want AJ to?? CJ you make no sense!”

I know that, but allow me to elaborate. Remember, this is all my interpretation after years of replaying this series. This is the narrative I find most enjoyable. This is my Clementine and the way I interpret her. 

So, Clementine listens to Lee and leaves him to turn into a walker. He tells her that it won’t be him, he’ll be dead and gone, save the bullet. Yeah, yeah, I already covered this. But remember my “what does this do to Clementine?” question?

I swingin’ back to it because I didn’t really answer it directly, now did I? It’s basically followed up with another question: What if Clementine comes to regret leaving Lee instead of shooting him?

She herself even says that maybe she shouldn’t let him turn, and he tells her he doesn’t want her to have to do that. She listened to him, and left him behind to turn into one of the monsters that tore their world apart. She’s lived with the fact that she’s the reason Lee was bitten, that he died.... but there was always another thing that pricked needles into her guilt: Lee’s a walker. He’s going to spend the rest of eternity as a walker handcuffed to a heater. There is the big possibility that no one will ever find him, will never kill this walker version of him.

Was that the right thing to do? 

I don’t know about you, but the walker debate is kinda fun to explore, and oh boy, do they try to explore it in TFS.

It’s easy for us to be like “Nope, there is nothing to walkers because they’re dead. Nothing human is left behind. Leaving Lee is fine.” 

…but then I have to ask, why did most people shoot him when the episode released? Why do people still pick that option? You don’t want Lee to be a walker, but at the same time, it’s actually fine because nothing about him would be left behind?

Is it because you couldn’t handle seeing him as a walker and didn’t know if the ending would show it or not? It doesn’t, you know that now. Were you afraid he would hurt anyone else? Well, you chained him up. He’s not going anywhere. He’s no longer a threat. 

So why do so many people still choose to shoot Lee and insist it’s the right choice even if by this logic, it doesn’t matter if he’s a walker because it’s not him? Save the bullet, don’t put Clementine through that, right? 

Maybe you just like the way the tragedy plays out when Clementine shoots him, and that’s perfectly fine. Maybe you don’t believe there’s more to walkers, but still pick this because how can you not? It’s Lee! He can’t become a walker.

Again, I feel you. My reasons for always shooting him in the past were that. It’s Lee, he can’t become a walker. I can’t do that to him. I love him, and that would be wrong. 

But that’s the thing... I believe we’re not the only ones having this debate. Clementine is having this internal debate within herself at different points over the series, but it’s especially prominent in TFS. 

Lee asked her to leave him, but was that really the right thing to do? He took care of her, saved her life and taught her to survive, and after he was bitten, she left him to turn into a monster. He didn’t deserve that, but his final wish was for her to leave. Should she have shot him anyway, ignoring his wishes? Would that have been worse? Disrespectful? Is it okay to ignore his wish if you think he’s wrong and you think you know what’s best? 

What if there is a part of him still inside that walker form? There’s no way to know that. What if she condemned a part of him to cruel fate because she didn’t shoot him? What if he’s truly gone and she’s worrying herself over nothing? What if she had shot him and needed that bullet later, or what if the noise drew attention? 

...What about her parents? They were walkers, too... roaming the street together... are they suffering, too? Or are they truly gone? 

I believe this is what lead to her decision to tell AJ that if she ever gets bitten, he should shoot her. All of these thoughts and regrets can resurface depending on your choices, like in the dorms at the beginning of ep2.

AJ: You told me your friend Lee became a monster. But you didn't kill him... because he wasn't a threat. Is that why you didn't kill him?

Clementine: He didn't want me to. He said it would change me forever. But I know he...

AJ: He became a monster. Do you wish you did?

Clementine: Yeah.... Every day.

Or, alternatively:

Clementine: How can you ask me that? What you did is completely different.

AJ: I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you mad, at all.

Clementine: .....I...I can still hear him. Telling me not to do it.

AJ: I said I'm sorry.

Clementine: ...I still hear it, sometimes.

and yeah, yeah, I know that this isn’t canon for everyone. Reminder that this is my Clementine interpretation and it’ll probably differ from yours, hence why we’re going over these specific choices. 

Looking at these responses, Clementine admits that she wishes she had shot Lee, that even though he told her that it would change her and she shouldn’t have to... she still left him to die alone and change. Maybe she doesn’t even fully understand WHY he asked her to do that... why didn’t he ask her to shoot him? Did he think she couldn’t? Even though he kept telling her that she had it in her to defend herself? Wasn’t he scared of what would happen afterward? What if Lee was so sick and out of it due to the bite that he wasn’t thinking right? 

Again, all these kinds of questions could possibly run through her mind, which in turn affects her choice with AJ. She doesn’t want him to go through what she did, to regret letting her turn into another monster. It’ll change him to shoot her, but it’ll also change him to let her turn.... maybe shooting her is the lesser of two evils. 

The thing about Clementine is that she’s not a perfect teacher, she doesn’t have all the answers, and all of her experiences reflect in the choices she makes with AJ. She’s trying her best. She loves AJ, he’s her family and she wants what’s best for him. She wants him to be strong, to be a better survivor who can take care of himself if something ever happened to her. But, she’s doesn’t know everything, and she forgets that yeah, AJ’s a kid... and so is she. She’s not some thirty something who has all this world experience and can always make logical decisions in every situation, and neither was Lee. 

AJ sees this towards the end of the season when he starts questioning her.

AJ: I always listened to Clem. Always. But...I've been thinking more. I don't know if she's right every time.

So while she truly believes that this is the best thing... she also won’t take AJ himself into account. Well, she does but she fails to ask him what he wants, what he thinks, and when he starts questioning her, she becomes defensive and makes him promise that he’ll shoot her even though he’s saying he doesn’t want to. 

Which leads me to two particular scenes that I think reopen the wounds and reaffirm Clementine’s thoughts and fears. We’ll start with the obvious one: James. 

I know it’s easy to just call James and his dumb walkers crazy, that walkers aren’t people, yada yada. But for fun, let’s indulge him for a moment. James is a fascinating character study with the way he’s come to view walkers, and he eventually shares these beliefs with Clementine when she asks him for help, and when you leave Lee to turn, you get this conversation:

James: They used them as a weapon. I do this...to protect them. I know it sounds strange. But that's why I brought you here. To see them as I do. As people.

Clementine: As...people?

James: Well, not people, exactly. But... Something in between. Part of us is still in there. Deep down. So few of us die anymore. We turn. Not dead, not alive.

Clementine: God, I hope that's not true. That sounds like Hell.

James: To you, maybe. I think it seems...peaceful.

AJ: Do you really think there's people inside of monsters?

James: Somewhere, yes. Think about it this way... Has someone you cared about turned?

Clementine doesn’t respond.

AJ: Clem's friend, Lee. She let him... but wishes she didn’t. 

James: Do you really think...there's nothing left of who he was?

Here’s where my Clementine will remain silent, as you can either agree or disagree with him which doesn’t feel right for her, in this case. Though a little annoying that James takes your silence personally and won’t talk about Charlie later BUT that’s a topic for another ramble. 

Anyway, Clementine doesn’t want to think about this. She’s thought about it enough, let it eat away at her longer than she should’ve, and now James is here asking her if she truly believes there’s nothing left inside the walker Lee became? She doesn’t have time to reflect on this, she has to get James’ help to save her friends. 

However, I believe this conversation stuck with her, and that’s why she gets more defensive when AJ brings up the idea that if Clem gets bit, then she should bite him, too. Like.... No, absolutely not, AJ. That’s not what we agreed on to do if she gets bit. He’ll shoot her. 

Clementine: AJ, we've talked about this. A lot. If I get bit, you know what has to happen.

AJ: I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Clementine: But you brought it up, so we're going to.

AJ: It does something weird to my stomach. Like I'm gonna get the dookies.

Clementine: AJ, I need to know you remember what we talked about. What you're supposed to do if it happens. Listen to me. If I get bit, you'll...?

AJ doesn’t respond.

Clementine: Shoot--

AJ: No! No, I'm not gonna do that.

Clementine: AJ, you promised.

AJ: I don't care. I'm not gonna shoot you! If you get bit, I'd want you to bite me, too.

Clementine: What? You don't mean that.

AJ: I don't want to be alone. Please don't be mad. I can't live with you not with me, Clem. I know we've talked about it. So much. But don't make me.

And like.... here’s an interesting thing if Clementine doubles down on this:

Clementine: Alvin Junior, if you have a gun, you shoot me. If you don't, you use your knife. No knife, a rock to the head. As many times as you have to.

AJ: I said I don't wanna!

Clementine: I don't care what you said. You will do it.

AJ: I don't care what you say!

Clementine: Goddamn it, AJ! You can't break promises.

Like jesus. She is once again so blinded by what she believes is right and what is the best option for AJ that she’s not even thinking about the fact that she’s telling him that yeah, if you have no other options, bash my face in with a rock! Holy shit, Clementine! She isn’t understanding a big thing here, the thing that factored into why Lee told her to leave him. 

Of course, there are less harsh responses but I find that one particularly interesting.

Now, lemme explore the other scene: Abel. 

So, the beginning of ep3 has Clementine and AJ talking to a tied up Abel about where the raiders took our friends. But it doesn’t take long before Abel starts spitting up blood and panicking that something’s wrong. 

Abel: Shit... I never wanted things to end like this. Everything...it all got out of hand. Now look at me. I'm a fucking mess.

AJ: Will he turn?

Abel: No! ...My...my whole life, everything I ever got, I got with my own two hands and...and my will. For my body to turn on me...to take control... I'll tell you where to find Lilly. Just promise you won't let me turn. I'm begging you.

Look, I hate Abel, he sucks..... but I also really like him as an antagonistic character and what they did with him here. 

So, we have Abel here begging for them to make sure he doesn’t turn... because Abel believes that letting some turn is cruel, he’ll even admit that he believes there are people inside of walkers and that’s why you put a bullet in them, no one deserves to be a walker. 

Abel: You wouldn't do it...you wouldn't let me become...one of those things.  What if they...what if they can feel it...when they turn?!

And after he gives you the info-

Abel: You got what you wanted. Please, don't let me become one of those things. Please... I don't want to turn...

Do keep in mind that this happens before the James scene, too. Clementine’s already got this on her mind when she meets up with him and the barn scene plays out.... but this whole thing with Abel is a lot. You can be cruel and torture him or you can play nice, or you can do a bit of both. 

And by the way, if you let him turn, it reeeally fucks with AJ. So that’s fun. 

Now not only is Clementine trying to work out a plan to get her friends back and trying to protect AJ and all that, but she’s also dealing with these thoughts and ideas presented by Abel and James..... and like, yeah I know the Lee dream sequence was intended for fanservice and to make us cry.... but I dunno, kinda funny timing that she would have a dream about Lee that night after going through both of those events in the same day as well as doing prep to infiltrate the boat. 

While I love the dream sequence and this interpretation I’m talking about probably wasn’t all that intentional given that this would've been the perfect moment to explore or even hint at it but they don’t.... but it’s fine, it’s perfectly logical that she’s more worried about her friends who are still alive rather than if she did the right thing with Lee. 

I think it’s time I move onto the actual bitten Clementine stuff before this turns into a novel sooo.... Clementine gets bit after she and AJ get separated from Louis/Violet/Tenn. She’s bitten on her wounded leg, and after all the chaos of getting away from walkers and climbing up to safety... Clementine just lies there for a bit.

And you can feel it, y’know? She and AJ knew what happened, but Clementine still has to confirm it... and when she pulls away part of her boot to reveal the bite... she lets out a deep breath and says she got bit..... but they gotta keep moving forward. No time, gotta get up, gotta keep moving, gotta get AJ to safety. Nothing else matters. 

So they walk. They walk until it’s morning and Clementine starts to look awful... and I think most of us took this opportunity to tell AJ she loves him. 

Then all hell breaks loose, they’re surrounded by walkers and have to hide out in James’ walker barn, but Clementine’s too weak to fight. This is when the game starts to have us take control of AJ, switching us between the two as Clementine shoots walkers and AJ shuts the doors. 

Until Clementine runs out of ammo. 

The walkers are locked out, they’re catching their breath... and now they have a whole new problem to deal with. Clementine’s bitten, and AJ, similar to how little Clementine was, tells Clementine she needs to try to get up and leave with him. 

Clementine: Good job, AJ. You did it.

AJ: Now what?

Clementine: You need to find a way out of here.

AJ: We can climb up there. The monsters can't reach us up there. Let's go. Easy climb. C'mon. Please...try. You can't give up! You can't give up! I need you! I need you...

She can’t get up. 

Clementine: I'm so sorry, kiddo. This is just what happens sometimes.

AJ: But...but it wasn't supposed to happen to you!

Sigh.... now here it is. This is another big moment in Clementine’s character that changes everything. It’s that moment at McCarroll Ranch again- it all hits her at once. 

Clementine: I need to make sure you remember.

AJ: Remember what?

Clementine: The rules. What's number one?

AJ: Never...never go alone. So...so I can't leave. Not without you.

Clementine: AJ...

AJ: It's your rule!

Clementine: You won't be alone. Not for long. Get back to the school.

AJ: I don't know how.

Clementine: Sure you do. One of the first things I ever taught you. You need to make sure they can't smell you. So... grab that axe.

She’s dying, she’s going to die and leave AJ behind.

Clementine: Next rule: what do we do when the monsters come?

AJ: Clem...

Clementine: AJ...

AJ: Shoot them in the head.

Clementine: Got any more ammo?

AJ: There isn't any more.

Clementine: Okay, then. Fuck. And...the last rule?

AJ: I want to stay. With you. I know what will happen. And...and I don't care. I don't want to go. I just want to sit next to you and...and stay. Like that monster couple, from the train station. No one would hurt us. Just...sitting. Forever.

Clementine: I don't want you to leave, either.

AJ: Then don't make me!

Clementine: But it's not about what I want. It's about what you need. And you need to go.

AJ: Okay, Clem. Okay.

Clementine: Last rule.

AJ: No...

Clementine: What do we do if I get bit? ....Are you gonna make me say it? 

And this is Clementine truly realizes, understands for the first time why Lee made the choice he did... why he asked her to leave him.

Clementine: Just leave.

AJ: I can't let you turn into a monster.

Clementine: You have to.

AJ: But before, you said...

Clementine: I know. But now that we're here... My heart is saying something else.

She finally gets it. 

When Lee said she’s in his shoes now...? She IS in his shoes finally understanding a part of their situation years ago that she never could. For years, she questioned how he could ask her to leave him, WHY he did. She questioned if she did the right thing, regretted listening to him.... but now that they’re here and she’s presented with the same choice Lee was... she understands why her reasons for asking AJ to shoot her if she gets bitten were skewed, that what she thought was preventively protecting him from more hurt was only doing more damage. He’s already taken a life, and just like Lee said, he’s losing a part of himself every time he does it, and if she told him to shoot Lilly, too? and if he shot Tenn? 

What is killing Clementine with an axe going to do to AJ?

What is leaving Clementine to become a walker going to do to him?

What is the right thing to do?

Well, for Clementine, her answer is to ask him to leave. She knows she told him differently, but that was when this scenario was merely a “what if?” Now it’s happening and she sees the errors in her thinking, and no matter what happens now, she’s going to die. Maybe she’ll feel it, like Abel said. Maybe James is right and she’ll spend the rest of her undead life alone in this barn. Maybe nothing will happen. It doesn’t matter. 

But... we all know, AJ has another solution up his sleeve that Clementine never considered. 

He turns to leave her... and then turns back around and disobeys her wishes... and chops off her bitten leg. 

And she fucking survives. 

Clementine survives her walker bite. 

AJ did what little Clementine back in s1 couldn’t do... he didn’t listen to her, and this time, it worked in their favor. 

Clementine: When we were in the barn, you didn't listen to me. And if you had...I'd be dead. You'll have to be strong for the both of us.

AJ: You made it so I can. So...thank you. For everything.

Clementine: You're welcome. For everything.

Clementine still has a lot of things to work though, especially now that she only has one leg. She can’t move around the way she could before, she has to completely relearn how to walk on crutches, possibly a peg leg. She gets to sit down and breathe, rely on others and do some reflection on who she is and come to terms with all the pain she suffered, and grow from there. 

Now that she understands why Lee did what he did, she can take a step in the right direction of forgiving herself, to atone for all the mistakes she’s made and the people she’s hurt. 

She has a boyfriend/girlfriend/friends there at her side to listen and love her, she has AJ, she has her lovable pupper Rosie, and she has a home... for the first time since she was little, she has a home and she can find herself again. Keep movin’ forward. 

This is my favorite line of choices, my favorite way to interpret the connection between Lee and Clementine’s scenes, and how I view Clementine’s growth and understanding as a character in TFS. There are so many ways for it all to play out, no Clementine is the same between players, and I dunno I just... I find the whole thing so compelling. 

Clementine is such a fun character to discuss, to compare interpretations of, and I’m sorry for such a long post but this is another thing I’ve wanted to throw out there for a while. Now that I’m done, I’m gonna go make some tea and chill out. 

[cellsshapedlikestars]

Ok, so it’s probably gonna be a while until the next chapter of help me out (I want to get the second arc mostly worked out before I post anything, like I did for arc one), so I figured I’d share this nonsense little thing I wrote one night while in a melatonin-induced fog.

So here’s a snippet of this Jonsa-tinder-fake-dating fic that I don’t actually have a plot for and therefore may never see the light of day but I liked it so I’m posting it!

(thanks to @jonsa-creatives​ for the header)

.

Can you believe this? Sansa had captioned the screenshot she sent to her friends.

Tinder isn't a thing Sansa does all the time – she and Margaery had set up an account for her two years ago after she and Harry split and she uses it occasionally. Sometimes it's nice looking at guys and even flirting with a few of them, though she's never had the nerve to go through with any meetups (she has left more than one guy on read after even the slightest hint they wanted to take things into the real world).

But this is new - or at least she's never seen it before.

His photo had made her pause in her bored swiping (curled up on her couch, blanket wrapped around her like an old woman, heating pad on her lower back, six different snacks on the coffee table that she had sampled and ultimately decided weren't doing it for her or her uterus). Most men on this app take terrible photos, or choose terrible photos, and honestly, this one is no different. At least he's cropped out whoever he's in the photo with, most guys don't even bother to do that. He's not smiling, holding a beer in one hand with his other arm around the cropped out person that is clearly a woman.

He is pretty, though.

She's gotta say, the man bun, the beard, the flannel shirt, the cheap beer – none of it should be doing anything for her. Maybe it's her hormones all out of whack, but for some reason, she paused on his photo.

It wasn't his photo, though, that made her screenshot the profile and send it in a group text to her friends. Can you believe this?

Jon, 29, it starts. Good, fine. Well within her acceptable age range. But the rest of it...

Looking for a date to a wedding. I'm not kidding. Must pretend to be my girlfriend. Some PDA required (holding hands, etc), but feel free to punch me in the face if you're ever uncomfortable. Or just tell me and I'll stop.

**Warnings**

-the bride is my ex and the groom is my half brother

-I am desperate not to show up alone to my ex's wedding

-my dad is a dick and he WILL try to hit on you

-I'm terrible in large groups, extrovert with good social skills preferred

-this will be a full weekend and it's unclear if I can get a room with two beds this last minute

-did I mention the wedding is the third weekend in May?

-I will buy you a new dress for the occasion. You actually won't have to pay for anything, though now that I type this it sounds like I'm looking for an escort and I think that's illegal?

Sansa stares at the profile for too long. Why has she not swiped left?

The first text from one of her friends comes in, followed quickly by more, her phone buzzing almost constantly.

-Omg do it

-He's hot!

-Ok you HAVE to go to this wedding, it sounds like something straight off of Maury

-Yes! Go and then live tweet it for the rest of us

-Am I the only one that thinks this sounds like a trap? Like she'll actually end up in someone's basement?

-Shhh Mya, you're ruining all the fun

-Free dress! Hot boy!

-I literally NEED to know how the ex & half brother happened. I might die if I don't

-Does he have more photos? That one's too blurry

-By “blurry”, Marg means she can't see if he's fit or not

Sansa switches back to Tinder and sees that he does, in fact, have another photo. It's definitely not the shirtless selfie Margaery is looking for, but it makes something in Sansa's chest tighten. Against her better judgment, she screenshots that, too, and sends it.

-Ok, so you've definitely swiped right on him then?

-Of course she has, when has Sansa ever been able to resist a cute dog? I've literally watched her stop mid convo to cross the street and pet a strangers dog. It's honestly rude

-Was it a match???

-PLEASE FIND OUT HOW THE EX AND THE HALF BROTHER ENDED UP TOGETHER

Sansa's heart is pounding in her chest, because she hasn't swiped on him, either way. And now, for some reason, she thinks if she swipes right and they aren't a match, she'll actually feel shitty about it. But she gathers what little courage she has, bolstered by the glass of wine she had with her snack sampling, and swipes right.

They're a match.

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

The adoption

So lately I am having Jemima feels and yesterday I spent my evening making edits and somehow it turned into this.

It's a tiny bit long, it switches time in the middle and it's a lot less lighthearted than originally planned.

Enjoy?

The little girl looked sickly, apathetic and lonely. Humphrey's head had seen her walking the halls before when he had been left somewhere by his own body or by his fellow ghosts. He had never really talked to her, for one because she gave him a death stare that put fear into his very soul, and also because he had always assumed hat she was one of the plague ghosts and therefore spent her eternity with her whole village down in the basement and like the adults there simply wasn't interested in the upstairs ghost.

After the burglar incident however, Mary had told him that the poor little thing was haunting the pantry on her own, parentless and was now and then called to assistance because her song could be heard.

It just didn't seem right to him, leaving a child like this. Though he had never had children of his own, he knew too well from his own experience what being ignored, forgotten, only contacted when someone wanted a favour and being alone could do to someone. On top of being dead and the manner of ones death of course that had been probably traumatic enough to turn one into a ghost. It was sometimes hard for him and he was a grown man. He could only imagine how hard it had to be for that poor little child, living as an outcast. So he made the decision to try and befriend her. Either in a worst case scenario she would stare at him and drop him down the well, or in a best case scenario maybe they could keep each other company now and then. It was worth a try.

She didn't speak. She didn't sing either. She stared. That was kind of her thing. It made Humphrey nervous and the more nervous he got, the chattier he got. He told her every joke he knew, every children story, he, with or without body, got Alison to select children books for his daily reading so he could retell them to Jemima. According to the Captain that was her name. Sometimes when she stared on the floor or her doll and seemed to listen, just to give him a death stare when she found that he did not yet know how a story continued. He started to invent content. She had seemed to like the story about the pirates in the secret garden the most so far. To his great surprise and joy she had uttered the word "Continue" at one point.

After several weeks the death stares had stopped. A few weeks after that she started to look at him whilst he was talking to her, instead of having her eyes fixed to the floor. It was a suspicious glance but all in all he took it as a good sign. Besides it was nice to have someone who actually payed attention when he talked to them. The first mistake in the story about Betty her sister and the teaparty full of cavemen had happened by accident and Jemima had corrected him on it. From then on he made sure to integrate at least one mistake each story time and quickly it developed from Jemima correcting his mistake to giving her own input on the plot. Humphrey felt almost proud that she tolerated his company because she loved stories so much. Only when she started to suddenly appear next to him during the day, simply staring up at him, or down at him depending on if he was with body or not, he realised that she seemed to enjoy not only their stories but i fact his company

Even more time goes by. She talks. She sings. She stares (it's very much still her thing), they invent stories, he tells jokes. She starts asking questions. About his life, his death, the other ghosts. He answers her as good as he can and as careful as he can. He doesn't want to open wounds for her. Whilst they often talk about serious topics he tries to get her into more childish endeavours. He has yet to see her smile or hear her laugh and he hopes to accomplish that. She deserves to feel and act like a child no matter how many centuries she has been dead already. Sometimes he wonders if being a father would have been like this. To be worried about a little human almost all the time, and so, so proud and just wanting for them to be happy.

One evening he makes the grave mistake of letting a dog die in their current story. Jemima clutches her doll, Mrs Cabbage, and looks distraught. He tries to fix it by turning the dog into a magic dog who isn't dead after all, but even after the fix, Jemima doesn't seem alright. Not being able to repress the memories any longer, she starts to tell him her story. After a while she takes Mrs Cabbage into one hand and reaches for his hands as support. He later drys her tears with his tunic; he has to dab his own eyes a few times as well. It's the first time that he calls her my little Jem.

"Well I mean I understand If you don't want to, I just thought ...it's not that you could inherit anything, except the name. Or maybe you don't like the name...I don't know if it's a good name, Cheese is a good name, Bone is maybe a bit ..." He rambles nervously before he is suddenly interrupted.

"Will you still come talk to me? And play and tell me stories?"

"...yes of course, Mimi why wouldn't I ?"

"And you won't die or send me away to work for someone else?"

His face goes from nevous anticipation to understanding and fondness.

"No of course not, I can't die again, I don't think and besides that I wouldn't send my little Jem away"

There is silence for a few moments.

"Can I call you Papa?"

"Yes ...of course if you want to?...so is that a...is that a yes?"

Her answer ist the first smile he has ever seen on her face. From that moment on he is officially what he has been for over a year now...a father.