#I genuinely kind of feel bad because like. HOW did you get there

[alchemistc]

Tommy has a bad date and goes to visit Abby at her loft, only shocker, Abby left months ago and The Himbo is staring at him from the other side of the door.

He tips his chin. Raises an eyebrow. Scans down, back up, just in time to meet the kids eyes.

"U - uh hi?"

He gets it immediately. What would have drawn Abby in despite the age difference, despite the knowledge that all her friends and family were gonna give her shit, despite -

Well. He's fucking adorable, for a start. Bright bright blues eyes that look like maybe they're always a little wet, the foundation for a really great muscle base, even though he clearly hasn't figured out how to balance cardio and weight lifting, pink full lips, an adorably puppy-dog slash to his face, legs for fucking days. God. Yeah okay. Tommy'd been younger than Abby too but not this young.

"Is Abby home?"

Something strange crosses his face. Confusion, upset, maybe some genuine pain. He shakes his head, opens his mouth. Snaps it shut. Tommy's had a shitty night and honestly for a second he thinks making the look on this kids face go away for a few minutes would fix him.

"Patricia?" Tommy asks, because maybe at least Pat will be lucid enough to sit and with him and mope to the tune of whatever's on Hallmark.

The kid swallows, brows knitting together. "She uh. She passed. A - a few months ago now."

Tommy has to dig his nails into his palms to keep himself from being rude as hell. Sure, things with Abby hadn't ended great but Christ he'd loved Patricia. She could have at least sent him a fucking pigeon. Smoke signals. Something. It's not this kids fault though.

"And Abby ...?"

This kid doesn't know him from Adam. He'd have every right to kick Tommy off the welcome mat and shut the door. Something sad and vulnerable crosses his face. "Are you Tommy?"

Tommy's brow jumps. His posture shifts. "Cross my heart I'm not here to steal her back from you." He doesn't know what Abby's told people. He'd promised he wouldn't do what he'd done to her to another person and left it at that. They'd been together for years and Tommy honestly doesn't know if she'd go the bitter route and tell everyone, or if she'd be ashamed and hide it.

The kid laughs, watches Tommy's fingers make an x over his left pec. The face falls after a moment. "I - uh - I actually don't think she's coming back," he says, choked up just a bit, rising inflection on the end of his sentence. The wet eyes look a little watery now. "S -she went to find herself after her mom died and I don't think - I don't think I'm gonna be a part of whatever she finds."

Yeah. Fixing him will definitely make Tommy forget how terrible his date with Frank had been.

"Can I buy you a drink, kid?"

He blinks. Swallows. Does a piss poor job of hiding the way he's feeling, and Tommy wishes he remembered how to be so open. "Evan. Buck. I - Evan Buckley."

Tommy nods. Grins. "Kind of a mouthful. You mind if I just call you Evan?"

Something passes across his face. He takes a step back. "Uh - if you're serious, I would - that'd be - I just have to grab my wallet?"

Tommy shrugs. He'd offered to pay, but it's entirely possible he still gets carded at bars. "I've got time."

Evan opens the door wider. Gestures him in. Tommy passes the threshold and takes in the space. It looks fucking exactly the same. Evan hasn't made a mark on this place at all.

Tommy's got no room to resent Abby, but if he did...

Evan reappears in record time. He's changed his shirt.

Tommy is absolutely not going to read into that.

"You like craft beer, Evan?"

Evan pulls a face, and Tommy laughs, letting himself be ushered right back out the door. His keyring, Tommy notices, only has a house key and a car key.

Tommy slaps him on the back. "Fine, I won't subject you to my refined palette. I know a place that has a PB&J special."

Evan's stride is fucking ridiculous, as he keeps an easy pace with Tommy down the hall. He turns his face, his body, fully into the space Tommy occupies. Tommy's just waiting for him to trip over his own goddamn legs. "W-what uh - what's a PB&J?"

He already looks brighter than he had five minutes ago.

If Tommy were a shittier person, he'd spend the night trying to to get straight into his pants.

"Pabst and a shot of Jameson?"

He blinks. "Oh. Hey, that's clever. Sorry, when I bartended all the drinks were either in Spanish or some hokey touristy lingo. I mean I memorized like a thousand drinks but no one ever ordered them."

He's honest to god pouting as he says it. Tommy wants to bite that bottom lip.

He babbles all the way down the elevator, across the parking garage to Tommy's truck. Doesn't even pretend to make a fuss about driving separately. Tommy's a virtual fucking stranger and Evan just hops right in the passenger side and asks him about his license plate.

"No shit? I'm at the 118!" Evan says, and Tommy forces himself not to make the joke about stranger danger he'd been planning. That's an awful coincidence, unless it's not. Maybe a few drinks in he'll feel a little less tight lipped about the Abby of it all. Maybe this kid will do just as good a job of patching Tommy's night as Tommy plans to patch his.

He barely stops to breathe the short drive to the bar, and Tommy can already tell he's in way over his fucking head.

After he drops him off, tucks him into bed if he needs it, he's pretty sure he's gonna have some choice words for Abby.

Until then, he's gonna spend the next few hours doing everything he possibly can to keep the sad look off his face.

[gay-dorito-dust]

May I ask for the batboys reaction to their BFF that they have a crush on saying “EWW, gross, he’s like my brother”, in response to someone saying that they’d make a cute couple?

Welp confession is off the table if that’s how you see them ngl.

Dick tries to take it in stride but is hiding the fact that he’s having to come to terms that his best friend and his crush only sees him as a brother figure. Yikes. That’s worse than being friend zoned, you might as well have stabbed him and it would’ve hurt a lot less than being considered a brother.

Dick will act like he isn’t affected but if you were to squint you can see that his smile wasn’t genuine and his eyes didn’t twinkle like they normally did, but even if you were to call him out on it he’ll only laugh and discard your concerns with a vague answer.

He hated hiding this from you but he knew there was no way he could ever confess, no way in fucking he’ll could he confess when you’ve made your stance clear as day, even if he wishes it was a bad joke or a dream that he’ll inevitably wake up from. He’ll think that he’s accepted his fate but every time he looks at you smiling or leaning against his side, he’ll be reminded that he was just lying to himself, much like he’s been lying to you about feeling absolutely nothing romantic towards you.

He’ll live his life living a lie if it means that you’ll never know how he truly feels, even if it hurts or until he finds someone else to love, knowing deep down he’ll never love another as deeply as he did you.

Jason felt as though he had died. Again.

He’s unsettlingly silent after the whole thing and would answer you in short or dry responses so often they you just decided that talking wasn’t what he wanted to do right now. He was processing the fact that there will most likely not be a reality where you two end up together if this is how you saw him in each one.

He will most probably put some distance between the two of you as a result of this, so don’t be surprised when you hear nothing from Jason for weeks on end. He’s just trying to figure out what to do now because he was planning to confess, but you saying he’s nothing more to you than a brother kinda made that plan backfire in his face.

Jason knows that feelings aren’t easily discarded as much as he would love them to be but he couldn’t force you to feel the same as him and so he’ll have to accept that you were still in his life, even if it’s not going to be his partner. After all he just wanted you to be happy even if that happiness may not lie with him.

Tim quickly throws away any and all plans of confessing to you early quick because if you only see him as a brother figure, then he’ll see that confessing will only make things weirder between the two of you.

He’s trying to think how your friendship can continue when there was a one sided infatuation on his end because as far as he was aware they tended to end badly and extremely messy. He didn’t want that to become of you two and thus he’ll probably chuckle awkwardly along with you, waving off the ladies suspicions of you two ever being a couple, even though it hurt his heart to do so.

It’ll be obvious that he’s hiding something from you but you weren’t going to say anything until he did, which mean even more pain shooting through poor Tim as he tries his hardest to act as though he’s not got a crush on you. However this tends to make him come across as stiff, awkward and a bit cold at times, and or he’ll bury himself into his vigilante work to the point where he doesn’t allow himself free time with you anymore.

That was the last time he’ll ever trust a stupid romance movie where the friends get together ever again.

Damian kinda saw this coming from the moment your whole body poetically recoiled at the thought of being with him romantically.

So needless to say that while expected that kind of response from you, it still hurt him nonetheless to know that his affections were reciprocated even in the slightest. Damian didn’t think he would ever allow his feelings to become out of his control but here he was, crushing on someone who’ll never see him in the same light assumably.

He hates it and despises it greatly but realises there’s nothing much he could do but accept your words as truth and not cross any boundaries. So don’t be surprised that Damian gets cold with you, well more cold than usual, he’s just nursing a broken heart and being in the presence of the person who had inadvertently broke it wasn’t his ideal day out.

[dpspcehntr]

Hello 🤗 I have a question that has crossed my mind from time to time and I would like your (and maybe your followers) opinion on this, if you don't mind.

Thinking realistically, rather than with a romantic notion, do you think the LaDs men have had much, if any, sexual experience that hasn't been with MC?

Would God of the Tides have concubines brought to him, or gone on dates as a land lubber? Or do you think his bond with MC would prevent him from 'engaging' with anyone else?

Did Xavier date anyone before MC joined the guardians (I don't know the name I forget lol)?

I don't know anything about Sylus

Would Zayne have had a prom date or a girlfriend before he met with the current timeline MC? I know he says we are his only experience, but does that include just kissing someone?

I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!! One, I have also been rotating this around in my brain for quite some time and how I feel very lightly colors how I write for them! I haven't read much (if any at all) of the myths so I will just be looking at the present. I love thinking about this cause tbh sometimes the characterizations in game are not as full as I would like. I won’t keep this long but if you want more detail I’m happy to add to this post! Anyway! Here are my thoughts!

Rafayel is literally the reason I had this thought in the first place. I thought it was so silly to think that he as a rich artsy boy had never ONCE hooked up with someone. He absolutely is a FUCKBOY! I will hear nothing else about it. I can't image he's not when so much of his overall characterization just oozes that kind of energy for me. My exception to this is that I don't think he enjoyed himself very much. Used sex kind of like a numbing thing cause he felt the void of your absence hard. He's not like a community dick kind of fuckboy but he has definitely been passed around a few times, if not as a professional then in art school.

Xavier is another one who I feel has some experience before (re)meeting MC. His experience is alot more clumsy and unsure compared to Rafayel. More of a situation like 'I want to be ready when I find her so I'm going to try it with someone else to be good at it. There may only be one person he's had sex with before MC and it was so bad she just had to leave. When that failed he just turned to erotica and p*rn to fill in the gaps. Eventually getting used to using his own imagination and getting off when needed. So when the time comes he's very prepared and VERY horny.

Sylus is a bit of a hard one because yes absolutely he is having sex with people before meeting MC. His overall vibe very much eludes to the fact that he has lived a life and I'm sure that is included. I don't think he's slinging it out to anyone who asks but he has been in some kind of relationship before. If anything we can say he is very comfortable having sex and has had sex before meeting MC. I have some more thoughts on this but I will keep it there for now!

Zayne from what I know has said that he isn't experienced and we are his first and I believe that. He very much gives full focus on the task at hand kind of man. Definitely not in high school but in med school I image him having a non serious fling with someone just to say he tried. They broke up soon after and he just never tried again until he and MC reconnected. That being said, he is a bit of a perv and has ALOT of pent up energy so once they start they literally don't stop. Like a weekend stuck in an endless loop of sleep, eat, fuck until he's at work desperate for you once again. The problem for him is learning how to control himself now that has MC.

My ask box is open for further conversations on this cause I genuinely love talking about this! Lets keep the conversation going!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's Wild Out There but the Kisses are Good

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

NOV 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - I’m really enjoying this show. But I will be glad when it ends next week. I’m ready. The motorcycle rescue in the middle of the kidnapping sequence was so absurdly bad I actually laughed. Meanwhile, in the hospital room did you notice Q’s dad used chan/nai with Min? I actually gasped out “oh, mad respect “ when he did. Papang it’s so damn hot, could he PLEASE get the lead in a BL? Please GMMTV.  

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 9 of 15 - I like Earn’s sincerity and open admission in the new version, and I like how genuine and delicate Noh is coping with someone crushing on him. Probably because he knows how painful it is from the other side. The conversation between Phun and Aim was much better and more kind in the new version, too. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. 

Every You Every Me (Mon Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like this couple a lot, and not just because of all the sex positivity. I just enjoy their dynamic of artist and musician, introvert extrovert. Anybody wondering about that “up against the window blurring thing” with the shirt off the shoulder? That’s a very very old yaoi trope (mostly office yaoi from the early 2000s) that I haven’t seen in a long time. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it in Thai BL…… wild. 

Meanwhile, let the weird interweaving of the filming crew begin. The show within a show that we all suspected was due is now happening. I’m not sure about that. (I worry it will be some clumsy commentary on pair branding.) But how hot does Fiat look these days? 

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 7 of 16 - I really don’t like the second storyline. It find it unpleasant. I also don’t think the chemistry between Maxky and Bas is good. In fact I begin to suspect Star Hunter should cut Bas lose. Yes I said it.

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 1-2 of 10 - Penguin escapes zoo by turning into a human. Gets trapped in a boys school and a panther falls in love with him. How does a penguin know how to read? OK I’m not gonna try to figure out the logic of this show. There is none. Do I like it? Not sure. I’m not mad about the dynamic or the setting but the main foundational conceit is…… odd. It’s not uncommon in BL, the “my cat boyfriend” thing has been done for many years now. So I know what to expect. It’s not that. Or is it? I do like how the actor playing Junior looks a bit like a bird. I also like how the actor playing Sun really does behave like a cat in his social interactions, it’s funny. I think…… I’m not wild about this so far, but I like it better than I thought I would. Love seeing Jaonine & Nokia in any form. 

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 3 of 24 - I just don’t like Arc and Arm. Sorry not sorry. However, I do like the sides and future couples. So I’m sticking with this one. 

Jack & Joker (Mon IQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - Because I heard this episode was really rough and the world is a mess I gave this one a miss this week. We’ll see if I’m up for it next week.

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) 12 eps - (starts tomorrow) A naive freshman and the campus’s popular senior agree to pretend to be a couple - but their fake deal begins to generate real feelings.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) ep 7 end - Ooooo counter lift!!! And caught in the act. Very nice. It was a really good final episode and an absolutely fantastic kiss.

In summation: 

Two men work their last few days together at a failing company. I like this but I’m not sure I should like it. This is a classic office romance, short even for Korea, with more than usual workplace harassment (even for BL) in the guise of aggressive pursuit from older boss to younger employee. (The optics are NOT good.) It reminded me of Jun and Jun only shorter, colder, and with more dub con. Now, I happen to be one of the few who truly loved Jun and Jun, it’s very much my style of KBL. I think that’s part of why I liked this one so much. But I suspect that might have given this show too much shine by association. Still, eminently rewatchable and it’s nice to have Korean IP drop on YouTube. 8/10 

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 2 of 11 - Another one that is about abuse, but for some reason I don’t mind it as much as I did Let Free the Curse. Maybe it’s Japan? Maybe it’s the disinterested nature of the director’s lens? This show is examining the inclination of teenagers towards spectatorhood out of fear, while simultaneously giving us a contrived spectator’s perspective with its style of the filming. For example: there is a lot of shots in alleyways and looking in and out of apertures (like doorways and windows) at Hirukawa. He’s often seen from a distance, because Minase thinks of him as distant and somewhat like a specimen. It’s very clever and what I expect from Japan. But it also makes me feel distanced from the characters and their story (intentionally, I believe) which means it’s less raw than Curse, and a lot easier for me to watch. In other words, I am observing this BL, not living it. But that’s the point. And because of that, I’m also liking it. But I’m extremely wary. Japan never drops a kiss early on in a series without some serious trauma to follow.

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 13 - I love them all very much. Carry on.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 12 - So far as I can gather it was episode five that got this one censored and kicked off the air in China. So now we are in unchartered (and presumably only lightly censored) territory. Honestly? I have no idea how they get away with what they get away with these days. Onto the actual meet of the show. I don’t think the teacher should be flirting with the kid if he’s gonna blow hot and cold like that. He is ostensibly the mature one in the relationship. Although if he’s flirting with a child, that is clearly not the case. I get the conflict of the main characters a bit more. Because it’s all about class and the risks that you can take with your identity depending on how much autonomy you have in society. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 8 of ? - Basically this is just a narrative about bullying. And I’d like to get onto the revenge portion of the program, and that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. I do love that Dat asked for permission to kiss. Consent is very sexy. Also it was a good tentative careful cautious timid first kiss. The actors are older but it felt high school. (Although apparently Bach entirely kissed away Dat’s injury.) 

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 9 of 12 eps - Gosh I really do like this couple. And I like the legal proceedings. But I’m worried about whether this show is going to end well. 

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - Frankly I didn’t want LITA the original, so I’m pretty sure I don’t want the Japanese cliffs notes version of LITA. It’s somehow softer, which I wasn’t expecting from Japan. But I don’t mind. The brevity and softness are improving matters, IMHO. I continue to unequivocally loathe the wardrobe department. I’m offended on the actors’ behalf. 

Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 11-12 end - An odd and somewhat lackluster piece about two college friends, one Thai and one Korean, who get together and become boyfriends while investigating murderer - each speaking in their own language. Neither the BL component nor the murder component was well executed or engaging. It’s not terrible, but that’s no ringing endorsement. "Odd yet still somehow forgettable" is probably how I would put it. 6/10

It's airing but......

Love for Loves Sake got some kind of special supposed to air 11/9. Not sure what, why, or where. Only the rumor that it...... is. I'll believe it when I see it...... literally.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I am weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show is making it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment.

Secret Love (Sat YT) 10 eps - Another take on my beloved stepbrothers trope. Adopted into a rich family, boy falls in love. But when he is made the heir instead, everything goes wrong and he leaves. Now enemies the two boys reunite in uni.

DAMN IT! This is airing but in two minute increments on a proprietary app that’s mostly for Android, and it’s already up to episode 11. I’m not wild about this style of distribution, so I’m not gonna bother unless somebody cuts it together as a full piece. Although I do adore the premise.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YouTube) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me. And just very very odd. DNF

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

November BL still to come:

11/20 Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love

11/20 The Heart Killers (Thai Weds Gaga) 12 eps - Jojo directs FirstKhao & JoongDunk in an action romcom about assassin brothers (Khao & Joong) who meet a tattoo artist ex-booster (First) and a mechanic (Dunk). I'm highly amused that Joong plays the older brother to Khao and that we have a take on the Taming of the ShrewBL. I like that everyone is morally gray. This has all GMMTV's best chemistry in one BL and some fresh concepts that I've only seen tackled in m/m romance novels (check out Amy Lane's Racing for the Sun, thank me later). I'm excited. My only quibble is Jojo, I like his style but his characters can get unreliably messy so…... this gonna be interesting.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Apparently I have feels about wardrobe departments this week, because, to use an old fashioned term, this look on him absolutely slaps. (Love Sick)

It's rare for Thai BL to beat out JBL in the fashion department.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[superectojazzmage]

Among my mounting bad/unsure feelings about Arcane season two is a feeling of... I don't know, weirded outness over how Jinx is being handled. Just the way they seem to almost be trying to pretend like she wasn't depicted in season one as basically a sadistic, bloodthirsty, would-be school shooter who did shit like shooting animals for fun or blowing up buildings to try and impress her dad.

Like, the narrative of this season seems to be going out of it's way to handle her with kids gloves in a way that season one didn't, treating her as if she's just a "lol so quirky" kind of character or even a genuine revolutionary hero to be idolized as Zaun's leader compared to season one's "oh this lady is genuinely dangerously unstable and a threat to everyone around her". She's not treated as a villain - albeit a tragic one - she's treated like she's a flawed hero at worst.

Hell, I mean, you see it with the whole plot of Zaun following Jinx as a symbol of revolt. Because all throughout season one, Jinx's relationship with Zaun in even the most charitable light amounted to everyone except Silco being fucking TERRIFIED of her or outright hating her guts, and with good reason as she did nothing but make everyone's situations worse by being a mood-swinging killer who attacks anyone and anything around her at the slightest provocation and constantly goes into violent, hallucinatory fugue states at even the most mild of stresses. But than she blows up the council and suddenly everyone is literally equating her with a god worshiped in Zaun? Imagine if you saw people claiming the Unabomber was the Second Coming and you get an idea of how bizarre that is.

Everyone regarded Jinx as a walking bomb in season one. Even a lot of Silco's allies - from Sevika to Marcus - spent said first season saying Jinx was out-of-control and that killing her would be doing Silco a favor, and that was objectively true, especially considering Jinx ends up directly murdering Silco in yet another fit of blind rage and panic. Now we get season two and anyone who seriously opposes Jinx seems to be treated like either a jerk or a burgeoning extremist for not liking a terrorist who kills people because the voices in her head say to do it, and some people who despised Jinx in season like Sevika now act like they're just mildly annoyed by her childishness and weird behavior (something else that was played in a very creepy light in s1, but now seems treated like it's harmless).

Her crimes from season one and even this season are kinda brushed over; there's tepid acknowledgment that she killed Caitlyn's mom and two other councilors, but that's it and nobody really dwells on the fact that she basically did fantasy 9/11. And likewise, Caitlyn is treated as if she's becoming a violent zealot for shooting at Jinx while Isha is near, but nobody so much as comments on Jinx outright murdering numerous children through Grey-bombing Piltover or literally shooting a teenage Firelight in the back in season one just because she looked like Vi.

Speaking of Isha, I hate to say it, but she really does feel like she has no reason for existing beyond making Jinx look better. No themes of Jinx perpetuating the kind of abuse Silco inflicted on her by raising to be the monster she is, no acknowledgment of how dangerous somebody like Jinx would be as a mother, no questioning of the ethics of Jinx's actions, and Isha watching Jinx murder people is framed in a silly, comedic light compared to season one's blunt depiction of how Powder being exposed to violence from a young age warps her. Isha throws straight KILLS HERSELF via suicide bombing and it's framed as a heroic, beautiful act and not a horrific sight of a child being so radicalized by the terrorist that raised her that she thinks killing others and eve herself "for the cause" is good. The series dangles her and Jinx being friendly with each other in front of you like a parent jangling car keys at an infant. "Oooh look at Jinx and Isha dancing and dying their hair haha it's so cute don't think about bad things, Jinx is nice now!".

I just honestly am not a fan of this "Harley Quinnification" of Jinx after season one went out of it's way to tear down that kind of character. Such a big part of Jinx's portrayal there was ripping apart the idea of this manic pixie terrorist who is Totes Awesomes and only hurts bad guys as part of it's larger themes of the ugliness of violence and the dangers of valorizing it. And I really feel like we're losing that. Not even just with Jinx, but with Zaun as a whole, this season feels like it's going full "everything is Piltover's fault, Zaun didn't do nothing wrong, those Piltover babies should just shut up and let themselves be attacked for being big stupid oppressor doodoo heads!!!!" which feels very counterproductive to the series' messages and like frankly shit writing.

[ellabssucker]

now that i stopped crying... arcane season 2 act II spoilers.

uhm, first off, what. the. fuck.

not even 30 minutes into rhe first episode, BOOM maddie and cait hooking up?? maddie is actually such a sweet, caring girl and i feel so bad for her. she probably spent an unreasonable amount of breath and time trying to change cait's mind when vi was able to in a second. that whole ordeal aside, we are FINALLY (actually it was pretty quick) cait's 'redemption'. or at least she's less blinded by rage now. i mean, she stood in a room with jinx and let her and vi have a family moment with vander instead of trying to blow her brains out. which i think it's progress. i liked cait so much better in this act and THE TENSION WITH VI?!? i just know we are getting sesbian lex on the third act on that one agreement scene.

then seeing jinx actually healthy and relatively sane actually HEALED my heart. i relate to jinx in a way I can't put into words, and she's really important to me, so seeing the positive impact isha had on her was really main focus this act.

which leads to my least favorite part. isha's death. i have a lot to say about it, but i genuinely can't without crying and my head already hurts. she was so important to jinx and I'm scared for how she's gonna deal with isha being gone (which I'm still holding hope for that to not be true). but aside how important isha was for jinx and how she became a part of the family, isha was just a kid. I'm not sure how old she was, and we don't see much of how her lofe was before jinx, but i can confidently say the probably few times in her life she felt safe were around jinx. it hurts to know that little girl probably went through so much, and in such a short time, she was able to build such a strong bond with jinx which lead to her sacrificing herself for her. the look on her face as she tan towards vander almost looked relieved that she could do this for jinx, after jinx did so much to protect her. we saw from early one isha would do anything to protect jinx as well, because she was all the family isha had. the kid deserved better. I really hope she makes a comeback, like we've seen multiple characters in this show do. i really hope she's okay. i won't get over the fact they found a family in each other and i think this is gonna affect jinx greatly. as for how, i think it's gonna be positive. as in, she's gonna use her destructiveness for good rather than bad, cause i genuinely think isha made jinx a better person. i think she brought powder back, but with all the good qualities jinx has.

moving on (lie) to vander, that man just can't catch a break. he deserves better. the writers are inflicting unnecessary pain fr. he finally got his daughters back (plus one) and was on his way to healing and returning to his human self. if only it wasn't for JAYCE.

this bitch ass motherfucker is clearly going through some kind of psychosis but WHAT THE FUCK JAYCE. jayce when i catch you jayce. honestly i don't know what happened to him during that time he was gone on the hex, but i can't get through my head that he would just kill viktor like that, especially knowing what would happen to all the people he healed. but for isha and vander, I really can't sympathize right now. i always found jayce to be self-absorbed and changed his mind every two seconds. he fucked up. he ruined a family. we waited 3 years for this only for this bitch to come and we lost not only viktor, but isha and vander under 10 minutes.

also, where the fuck is ekko?!

i also can't get over the fact that ambessa won't change. even after everything that's happened, she's still manipulating, hurting and killing, risking other people's lives and bribbing people to get her ways and cause even more damage. and talk about 'sacrife'. all she does is sacrifice other people, including her own daughter and son, for her own thirst of blood and selfish reasons. we've been shown time and time again, she is not a good mother, or a good person, or a good leader, and she does not think about anyone but herself.

also stop fucking with mel's head, like messing with her brother? that's fucked up.

i really liked the visual, colors, and music of this act. i think I've never cried harder but also tried to appreciate the cinematography at the same time (which is really hard by the way). i feel like is jinx all over the place, but also still has that touch of the arcane, i feel nostalgic when something reminds me of how the aesthetic was on the first season. it's different for sure, but the feelings are still there. maybe it's just cause it feels like home but i can still see what it used to be on what it is now.

it's a masterpiece. i loved it. it fucking ruined me.

[deathdetermineslife]

how do you manage to get any followers or friends in the selfshipping community? is it just luck?

for months i’ve been trying to interact with others and follow people, engaging with stuff like ask games and hosting reblog games, but when i try to share any artwork or i reblog an ask game myself, its radio silence. like even in small discords i get ignored so bad

i don’t say this at all to be guilt tripping /gen, it’s genuine curiosity at how this stuff even works. like am i doing something wrong or is the community just like this?

here is my comprehensive and lame guide on How To Get Selfship Followers

step 1 - posting

so a lot of my posts are either kinda general or fun. folks I will not lie to you. these are all stupid shit that come to my mind on a day to day basis. for example, today, I thought, "man I'm such a loser I'm not in college like all my friends r" and then I was like "omg wait. i could make a post out of this" so I did that.

you also kinda gotta be conistent. so i try to post at least *something* everyday. even if its a reblog, tho, I don't reblog a lot of things other than ask games.

another thing with posting is that i do try to make a lot of community based content. so idk if yall remember but in the beginning of my account, I did the "things you can do if you have xyz f/o". i did like,,, I think almost 100 of those ?????? it was a lot. then I started making templates and I made some ask games and ofc I post a lot of general like,,, imagine stuff. oh also polls. people seem to enjoy polls.

step 2 - be positive

this is the big thing. as most of yall (hopefully) know, I do not fw proshippers !! but I don't talk about discourse unless its directly brought up. not only this, I put a big focus on just,,, being nice idk. like id like to think I'm a pretty down to earth person.

if you make a template and people tag you in it, say something nice! reply to peoples art, send in asks, things like that. i try to do my part in being nice. i also just like hearing about peoples selfships.

when people post promos and have the little "rb to be moots", reblog! when you come across someone having a bad day, maybe they made a vent or something, reply with a simple "I hope you feel better <3" or "your f/o loves you <3". things like that, ya know?

step 3 - have fun

genuinely. i post as much as i do because I like it. i didn't go into this thinking "oh... yea... I'm gonna get selfship famous..." like no I just wanna ramble somewhere bc none of my close irls r selfshippers.

you wont get popular or get followers because you grind out posts. literally one of my biggest posts on this account I wrote while I was half asleep one night and wanted to test out queuing on my account.

and in that regard, it is partially luck. i don't control what posts people do and don't like. sometimes I write up imagines and no one sees them. sometimes I write up a post saying "lol go kiss your fake boyfriend ooo smoochie smoochie" and that does numbers

step 4 - interaction

im only in two servers. one server (which was the first public server I think I ever joined ???? i could be wrong tho,,, bad memory blehg) that I don't own and then my own 18+ server. i don't think being in servers does anything,,, considering I'm only in one that isn't mine. i think its more like ,,, sticking to one or two places ?? like just being consistently in an area you're comfortable in.

i guess you gotta just find the right people ??? and like I mentioned, be friendly, but ya know. also I guess tags too? idk if you look at any of my regular posts I have 8 million tags on them. idk if that actually does anything or not because its kinda hit or miss sometimes.

i was gonna say something else but i forgot. see look listen I dunno how I got here but this is what I do ,,,, effectively nothing. also with the being kind thing, maybe this is how I am bc I'm pagan but I think that if you expect kindness back you wont get anything. sometimes its just nice to be nice. eventually you gain a reputation for being a nice person. you kinda have to not want that tho? like I don't see myself as particularly like ,,, super kind ,,,??? i just do what feels right.

step 5 - uhhhh idk im just rambling now

i guess i also went into this kinda like. damn sometimes this community is a cesspool of absolute meanie pants. i don't wanna be a Meanie Pants and just post my thoughts and the things I think about. i guess how I see it too is, I kinda like ? idk I think all these things anyways why not post them? kinda feels like a waste not to.

also ive been told my posts are pretty recognizable bc of how I format them ? my dividers and such. also tagging all of my imagines and stuff with my 🥀📜 emojis. i guess that helps too? because that's how I recognize certain accounts. "like oh there's them I recognize their dividers and their tags".

also you kinda gotta like,,, not let hate get to you. like have fun with it? i know that's hard, but, that's what you gotta do. when I get printer ink (bc. a hoe does NOT like buying printer ink) im printing out that fucking 8 mile long hate message I got sent. but also that's just the kinda person I am. like people being a dick and stealing my posts and telling me to swallow a glock 9mm doesn't upset me, im more like,, confused more than anything because never in my life have I ever sent hate to anyone. also I have had this "I do not care because you're some loser on the internet and you being an ass wipe is no where near as bad as the shit people have done to me irl" attitude.

TLDR; i dont think youre doing anything wrong because I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. i just... do... and sometimes, "just doing" is enough. maybe its luck, maybe I've been blessed by the tumblr algorithm and I've somehow figured it out, or maybe the community is just genuinely that bad and they pick favorites. maybe its all of the above! who knows. i try not to worry about it. i think at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun posting about your f/os and selfshipping, that's what matters.

alright thats all see ya. if you have any more questions feel free to ask however I fear I cannot answer them </3

[o-wild-west-wind]

here’s a take the tumblr algorithm pushed me that I just read with my own eyeballs: someone thought David Jenkins was burying his gays and functionally queerbaiting regarding Ed and Izzy because of the time Con compared them to Jesus and Judas, and according to them, Jesus and Judas were…..fuck buddies……so the comparison confirmed to them that Ed and Izzy were……canonically gay lovers……..?

look—I’m all for bible fanfic. I loved reading good omens and look forward to finally watching the show LMAO. I also am not Christian of any denomination and have not seen Jesus Christ Superstar which I know Con referenced, so I could be completely misunderstanding this!!! but, like…..when I hear Jesus and Judas….I don’t immediately think, “ah yes! my favorite canon mlm ship!” like. as if Jesus and Judas…..are not known for anything else………………..

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

[batsplat]

if more people knew Herstory (aka 2004 season and sete&vale) so many questions wrt 2015 season(mostly “why would vale….”) would immediately be answered addfghjk like guysssss guyssssss

it is kinda funny that there's a simple cheat code out there to understanding most of valentino's career but it's just about long enough ago that most people simply... ignore it. like there's a three year span that more or less tells you what you need to know about him. it's like you say! pretty much every possible "why would vale..." secretly has a straightforward answer, and 9/10 it's something that was established in 2003 to 2005. simple as

if anything it's almost annoying because it's too easy. the 2004/2015 stuff in particular is incredibly funny. oh, so you say you have a controversial last lap at assen where valentino beat a rival in direct combat and said rival reacted surprisingly poorly, making valentino reevaluate his relationship with the rival? might that tell you something about how a seed of suspicion once sown can remain dormant for months until valentino is given cause to revisit it? valentino quite literally says in his biography that he could never have hated biaggi because he wasn't a friend and didn't have the power to hurt him... the sepang pressers thing is genuinely just silly, I know this is mainly a function of when they happen in the calendar but what a bizarre coincidence. 2015 is like a slightly more opaque funhouse mirror version of 2004 - but so many of the major beats are virtually identical. which means you've got a season Out There where a younger less experienced less guarded less cynical valentino basically walks you through his internal processes so you get a really good handle of what his deal is. he's piecing together his identity as a competitor going forwards in real time - and then in 2015 he just reminds you of what exactly that identity involves. it's a reaffirmation and not a departure... he's not that inscrutable after all, in the end

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[thedreadvampy]

it's been a strange arc so far

when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'

when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'

the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'

[la-galaxie-langblr]

what is going on w my brain

[tenok]

.

[non-un-topo]

The irony of trying to start a "pain journal" but being too fatigued and having too much brain fog from said pain to start one

[dbphantom]

you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight