irisinluv

[irisinluv]

Aight so I’m crawling out of writers block to present…. Yandere discord for those of you who are 18+

Wuv yall

Xoxo

[irisinluv]

Careful What You Wish For

TW: Depictions of violence, toxic relationship, slight nsfw themes at the start, magical bargaining, and not proof read

You know, when you have a deadbeat boyfriend, you think that surely, the worst thing that can happen has already happened. He forgot our anniversary, asked me for money on my birthday, punched my uncle at a family barbecue, the list goes on. But sacrificing me to a demon is an all time low.

I really should’ve realized something was off when he asked if we could spice it up in the bedroom…. And that he’d do all the work. This, coming from the guy who thinks missionary is too much work. But hindsight is 20/20…. I eagerly agreed. He tied me up with some itchy nylon shit, and while his knots were sloppy and didn’t feel sexy in the least… I still was so unbelievably excited at the initiative. I was completely bound to the bed, he had slipped a blindfold over my eyes…. This was new, exhilarating, and completely out of character for him.

As I listened, holding my breath as the anticipation built, I could hear him muttering to himself, heard the nightstand drawer open, and I shivered as my mind flashed to thoughts of the vibrator I kept in that same drawer. I felt the warmth of his body as he climbed ontop of me, sliding my shirt up ever so slowly. This was the same man who spent all day raging as he played Fortnite against 9 year olds, I really couldn’t believe it, I was soaked already any he hadn’t even touched me properly yet.

I squirmed at the agony of waiting, and then a knife sliced my chest from my sternum down. Burning pain crashed over my body. As I screamed in shock, fear, and pain, struggling uselessly against the ropes, he started chanting. It was some unknown language that commanded more respect than the stuttering pronunciations falling from his inexperienced lips. He fumbled over the words, his cadence was off, and yet; despite his less than stellar performance, a low pitched hum filled the room.

A sound like grating stone followed soon after, my ears straining to locate its source. I screamed the safe word, sobbing as I felt hot blood dripping down my body and pooling on the mattress beneath me.

That’s the first thing the demon saw when he appeared. My bloodied form yanking at the ropes, panicked sobs and pleas that oddly enough included the word “avocado,” and then the one who summoned him. A greasy man who appeared to be wearing a Minecraft t-shirt, now splattered with blood.

“Belial! Lord of the fourth hell! I, Matt, Duke of discord, present to you this soul sacrifice in exchange for my hearts desire!”

The throbbing pain from my chest, coupled with the blood loss made me lightheaded, and so it took me a moment to realize he was talking to someone, offering them my soul.

The demon remained silent, assessing. Matt continued,

“In exchange for this mortal soul, my wish is to never have to lift a finger again, to have all the money I could ever want, I want to be treated like royalty!”

If let out a frustrated scream at that, I’m bleeding out on the bed, the woman who’d been providing for him financially, making all his meals, doing his laundry, giving him below the desk support whenever he wanted it, and this is what I get in exchange? He’s sacrificing my soul, for what? So he can rot online for the rest of his life?

“Matt you lazy fucking asshole let me go!”

The demon watches silently as the I thrash and scream at Matt, and how Matt only rolls his eyes and says,

“I’m sorry about her. This is why I can’t wait to get rid of her, I mean really, I’m suffocating over here!”

I’ll show him suffocating…. But that’s when the demon finally speaks.

“I will accept your bargain. In exchange for this mortal soul, all your wishes shall be granted.”

Matt’s pimpled face breaks out into a grin and he pumps his fist in the air as if he’d just won a match. I sob in terror, still unable to see the figure, but his voice was deep and eerily calm. The demon snaps his fingers, and suddenly I feel the gash on my chest knitting itself back together. I gasp and take a few sniffling breaths as I assess what is going on, confusion wracking my brain. Aren’t I supposed to be damned to eternal torture or something now? Why is my head no longer pounding from blood loss? Why are my wrists no longer raw and throbbing from yanking the ropes? A hand reaches over and lifts the blindfold from my face, and I blink against the light.

The demon is tall and imposing, dark jagged wings and horns clashing with an eerily beautiful face. He strokes my face gently before turning to Matt, who is looking equally confused,

“You end has been fulfilled, allow me to uphold my end of the bargain.”

He snaps his fingers, and Matt screeches as his limbs snap to his side, immobile.

“Your first wish, to never lift a finger again.”

Another snap of his fingers, and gold coins begin raining down around Matt, thunking against his head and causing him to yelp and curse as the heavy disks continued their assult, pooling at his feet and slowly starting to swallow him up.

“All the money you could ever want.”

With one last snap, Matt’s prone form begins to be wrapped in bandages, his panicked screeches muffled at it wrapped around his face. A beautiful sarcophagus materializes, and Matt is lowered inside, the sounds of his terror cutting off as the sarcophagus sealed shut, standing silent and still amidst a pile of gold coins.

“And finally, to be treated like royalty…. Enjoy the pyramid, Matt, Duke of Discord.”

And with that, the sarcophagus and gold all disappeared, leaving me alone with the demon. Unsure of what to expect next, I was silent, terrified. He flicked his wrist and all the blood disappeared from my clothes and skin, the ropes securing me to the bed unraveled. He took my hands in his own and lifted me from the bloodied mattress, and then he smiled.

“Finally…. You’re mine.”

[irisinluv]

Caleb Love and deep space thoughts- SPOILERS AHEAD

Second update of brain dumping my thoughts as I play through the game… this time entirely Caleb focused

Ok so I’ve been reading Caleb’s anecdotes, dates, every scrap of info that becomes available to me…. And holy shit he’s such a simp!

Man almost fucking died, was lost in space for 2 weeks, and he’s just like “haha hey pipsqueak! Yea secret training mission, sorry, I’m back online!” As he’s in a hospital bed. Like baby boy not letting mc know he almost died???? And then the card/memory/whatever it’s called where he’s sick, and she has to basically beg him all day to let her in? Man wants to be Superman for her. Seriously, he’s out here becoming a pilot cuz it would pay well and help provide for mc, and if anything happened he could just whisk her away.

He literally worships the ground mc walks on. Obsessed with the necklace he gave him, kissing the pendant before each flight, not letting her lift a finger at the house when it comes to chore type things, using his evol to win her plushies at the claw machine… also he’s soooo obviously into the domestic life with mc! His house is bare bones before the reunion. Then MC shows up and there’s the scene where he’s surrounded by boxes, setting things up….. I picture him totally kicking himself for not having everything set up sooner, bc he got a house just so she could move in. I see him just living in an apartment that’s part of the officer barracks. There’s no reason why he has a whole ass house if not for mc. He just didn’t expect her to have infiltrated his ranks as a spy and to pop up so soon…. But hey she’s here now and so he’s totally buying everything and having a hot ikea build sesh in that slutty little tank top of his.

Oh and you know he’s a cheeky idiot about the fact that mc picked his room when deciding where to stay. Like we got that from the gameplay obviously…. But I just want to take moment to appreciate how hard that man must have been grinning on the inside. I also think it’s so cute that mc really is just making his place a second home. She’s got a little garden going at his house! She talks about the little yellow flowers she planted there in one of the text messages, and when he mentioned restocking his snacks on a community post mcs already planning on raiding it.

Also he’s been so obsessed with her since they were kids. Like he’s got some weird amnesia brain trauma shit going on after his deep space incident, and he scored poorly on the mental health portion of his exams (not him answering the “what’s the greatest challenge with flight missions?” Question with “it’s hard to get home on time”), and I’m assuming he was also an experiment by ever like MC is (but I haven’t gotten to the point where I can say that for sure), but like. That isn’t why he’s the way he is. Man was out here protecting her from bullies, the thing where he’d buy two of everything for mc, think he said something like “I wanted to grow up to be the most loyal… well you know, I could be” LOYAL HUSBAND? But from the jump he’s been doing everything for her. It’s so interesting getting this background from all the memories and whatnot. Like he’s made it such a source of pride to take care of mc in every tiny way, and so when she says stuff about not needing him, or uh, I don’t remember what thing it was part of but she fixed some electronic and was like “damn that was easier than I thought, guess I gotta stop bugging you for every tiny little thing, I can just figure it out.” and he PANICS! Like no baby- that’s his comfort thing. No matter what else is going on, at least he can feel needed and wanted when you come playfully whining to him that you can’t find your favorite mug. He’s the walking advertisement for acts of service. Also one last thing.

Yall noticed how he put his hat on mc like right after the reunion? The only thing I could think of is what it means when you put on a guys cowboy hat. Like damn Caleb. She’s still in shock that you’re not dead. But get it ig.

[irisinluv]

Mile high club with Caleb. ✈️

Idk how planes work but there’s gotta be some level of autopilot by 2048 or whenever this shits set in. That or he can just use his evol to help stay on course while doing unspeakable things to you. But regardless. He’s making us part of the club.

[irisinluv]

Ok so here’s the sitch. I binged chapters 1-15 of love and deep-space play throughs on YouTube, then realized I was invested, missing tons by not having the myths (?) and dates and cards and whatever else, so I am now playing the game for myself so I can have every ounce of lore and properly become hyper-fixated on this game.

Wasn’t sure if this should go here or my side blog but Caleb exists so it stays here.

Here’s what I’ve decided/my thoughts on everyone so far….

Caleb: I would fold in two seconds for that man. Scary soft dom vibes. Like I’d run away and he’d be like “☺️ it’s ok, it’s my fault for not making the place more secure, let’s make sure you’re not hurt and then I’ll cook you a meal and you’ve gonna sit right there on the couch and be comfy!🥰” and the would get that serious look and say softly, “But also- let’s not try that again? Ok?” And then if I tried to get up… def couldn’t. Idk why we were in a chair with wrist restraints when we were being interrogated. Mans whole Evol is gravity. His superpower is legit invisible bondage. Unless I’m missing something here. But. Man…. Toss me around like a rag doll… also not him in game asking mc if he should collar her.

Sylus: sugar daddy brat tamer. Lets you run around the n109 zone getting into trouble, but he’s always watching and he runs the place so when you get yourself in a tight spot he gets to swoop in and be like “mmmm, had enough of that yet kitten?” Oh and he’d totally be the clicker type. Like the counter where every time you click it the number goes up? Would just let you do your thing, you’d think you’re being sneaky, and then he’d show up at the end of the day like “42…. Damn. Hope you don’t have plans tomorrow” But then when you’re good….. mmm. Yea that man matches energy. You saw him give mc his card in game. That man just wants to spoil you rotten. I just know it. Even the twins are like “yo- that man’s feral for you, just chill here and ignore the crime stuff and let him make you his spoiled princess, ok?”

Rafayel: The whiney act he has is not my personal cuppa tea, but I feel like I need to give this man a chance when I get more into the game and lore. Cuz we all know that he’s not this aloof whiney ditz. He’s always got everything planned, keeps so many secrets, always gets us to go where he wants, do what he wants…. And then adds the whiney shit as a manipulation tactic. Still am confused that he’s a mermaid, and like, a god? And has a magic girl bond with mc? This is honestly one of the biggest reasons I’m playing the game for myself and really diving into everything instead of just watching play throughs of the main story. But. Yea, manipulative whiney rich boy who’s not actually whiney. Also so totally see this man laying down, arms wrapped around your waist as he uses your stomach as a pillow. Where he can look up as you with puppy dog eyes if you protest…. But also you really can’t move cuz his body is pinning your legs and his arms are not budging.

Zayne: Daddy? Sorry…. Sir? Sorry…. Doctor ? 🥴 no but fr, I want to take him to a cat cafe. I want to find a scruffy little alley cat that hates everyone except Zayne and casually will climb on his shoulders. Zayne will be there with his rbf as someone is talking to him, not showing any reaction and acting like you’re the weird one for being shocked as a cat suddenly appears on his shoulder. We will raise a cat together if it’s the last thing I do. I LOVE how cold presenting but deeply loving this man is. Did you see him when his rival tried to take us to dinner? Lord he was so icy smooth with it too, like yes sir turn down the peasants, doctors orders said I need more vitamin D…. Also I want that man to be a father. I want his babies. I want him to make them cute little snow animals and help me meal prep healthy school lunches (he would totally cut the sandwiches into little dinosaurs and make those themed lunches. Doesn’t care if he’s busy, will always be willing to spend the extra half hour making cucumber stars.)

Xavier: I won’t lie to yall I don’t like this man very much. I don’t know. He’s giving “I’m gonna pine from a distance cuz I don’t wanna hurt you” vibes. OMFG EDWARD CULLEN. XAVIER IS EDWARD CULLEN! yea. That’s my headcannon now “I can’t tell you why I’m so mysterious…. It’s safer if you don’t know…” *sparkles in the light* like sorry man has a light Evol, he literally does. And there’s a flower field scene I just did as one of his bonus thingies….. holy shit this fandoms gonna hate me for this but that’s it. They’re the same. I will continue seeking out things that validate this. Confirmation bias hates to see me coming.

Anyways. Love yall. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Have to wait for the daily stuff to refresh cuz I need to be level 21 to start chapter 3, and I’ve done everything I can to earn xp already. I’m level 20, it’s so close it hurts. I just want to speed run the main storyline till I have Caleb around, is that too much to ask?

[irisinluv]

Yan who is into chubby girls but reverse the roles now

Ya know I am slut for a bear of a man. So. I gotta know what direction you’re going with this, but I like where it’s going 🤤

Like maybe Yan wasn’t a Yan for MC till they made some comment about him being hot? Like he got stood up or something at the bar and a drunkenly bold mcs there eying him up like “Well they’re stupid for passing up a full course meal like you… If I were them I would’ve shown up with waivers cuz I’d be a ride you wouldn’t survive. I mean look at the arms on you… yea whoever she was is missing out big time, I’d climb you in a heartbeat…. But anyways, nice meeting you!” And then like. Gets pulled away for some reason before Yan has the chance to process being objectified like that, and the fact that he loved it.

Orrrr Yan not wanting to reveal himself till he’s made himself into your dream guy, till he knows you wouldn’t be able to turn him down. So he starts stalking, and then only grows more obsessed when he realizes that veiny, muscular guys freak you out, and you don’t think skinny guys could handle you… yea he’s pretty over the moon to realize that your ideal type is already him. His plans just moved way up.

Ooooooo! And him using it to fluster you???? Like I’m sorry but a whole ass MAN like that who knows he’s sexy makes me want to scream and hide because I physically cannot handle it. Annnnnd now I’m picturing running flustered from this Yan and then getting pinned for it. (Sorry but chubby/bigger primal doms are the only way to go, and then if you add the fact that they’re completely and totally obsessed with you…..)

Ahfisbifbsidf Anon idk what direction we were supposed to go here but now I’m just making myself blush so. Sorry if chubby reader from the original post was supposed to be the Yan, and that’s role switch you meant…. I’m just a simple girl alright. My mind goes where it goes. Sorry for being a whore over here 😂

[irisinluv]

Yan who’s way too into chubby girls 💕

If you get self conscious and suck in your tummy cuz your Yan boyfriend just walked in, I’m not responsible for the things that are gonna happen. This man is feral for your squishy ass self. His favorite parts of you are your thighs, your tummy, and your rolls. So why tf did he just come home after a long day, to you denying him? Yes- denying him, I mean you sucking in is practically stealing from him at this point. What- are you mad at him or something? Is that it? Decided to punish him? That’s fine, but I hope you know you’re gonna end the night so full of him and his cum that your belly distends well past normal, unable to contract your abdominal muscles because they’re so sore from the positions he contorted you into.

Bonus: This man is weird.

He has zero concept of what’s conventionally normal or embarrassing, it’s a problem to the point where you’re too busy being concerned about his mental wellbeing to be self conscious, more weirded out if anything. I mean he licked your double chin once, like got his tongue all in there and everything. After you were done being soul deeply mortified, you genuinely wondered if you needed to book him a new patient consult with a therapist.

He used the rolls on your sides like custom handle grips when he makes you ride him, his fingers seeking to disappear between the folds of your flesh, sinking into you in every way possible.

Can and will use your body as a stress ball, hand warmer, and oral stim. He will try to have his hands, teeth, or tongue on you at all times.

So. Yea…. Your boyfriend may be a crazed weird…. But hey, at least you don’t doubt that he finds you attractive anymore?

[irisinluv]

Yandere Christmas 🎄

Yandere Christmas just sounds lovely. I mean what does your particular Yan do with you for the holidays? Are you their present? Do they tie you up in pretty bows and ropes, or have you dress in festive lingerie for them to unwrap? Are you the Christmas feast? Or is the holiday all about you? Are they bouncing up and down, practically vibrating as you walk down the stairs to see the entire living room is filled to the brim with presents? What about traditions….do they love the idea of a certain meal Christmas morning? Are you guys baking cookies to leave out the night before? Is your yan reading the night before Christmas before you go to bed, even though you’re far too old for bedtime stories? And caroling may or may not be off the table depending on your yan…. But holiday karaoke isn’t! They just really wanna sing baby it’s cold outside with you…

And what if you don’t know about your Yan yet? Imagine waking up Christmas morning, so excited to give your family their gifts, eager to see what you received in return… except you’re not in your bed. You’re in Yans bed, hand and feet tied up with surprisingly resilient ribbons, Christmas lights twinkling on the headboard, and a few presents laying on the nightstand.

Orrrrrr what if you do the whole big family Christmas on Christmas Day. You’re at your parents house watching your nieces and nephews open up Christmas presents and you’re gushing over how cute the little baby clothes are, the little tiny shoes, how cute the toys are….. all the while yans hand is tight on your thigh, imagining maybe they’d give you a different kind of present once they get you alone tonight. They can’t help but picture yalls little baby girl in a tiny Christmas dress, or a festive onesie, all snuggly and pouting as she can’t put the wrapping paper in her mouth…..

A Christmas proposal would also be top tier. I mean they may or may not have kidnapped you…. You might basically be spouses already…. But imagine them on one knee, eyes sparkling with all the reflecting Christmas lights, pouring their heart out as they hold up a red velvet ring box with a little green bow on the top. Imagine them sliding in the ring and then sweeping your off your feet, twirling you around until you are both dizzy. When they finally set you down you both laugh as you realize you ended up under the mistletoe like some sort of perfect ending to a hallmark movie.

Bonus- you said Bernard from the Santa Clause was your childhood crush and now yall aren’t allowed to watch those movies anymore.

[irisinluv]

Eeeee!!!! I’m part of your LIST!? Screaming crying throwing up 🥺 Thank youuuu! Alsooooo….. some more recs I’m legally obligated to share:

@threepandas @heartfullofleeches @yandere-sins @meo-eiru

Any yandere x reader blog recommendations? Please

Hello! Ooh, some blog recommendations? Hmm, I have a list somewhere, one moment please!

Ah-hah! I knew it was here! Thank you for your patience! ☺️

List of yandere blog recommendations:

@hotnbloodied @yandere-daydreams @lovelyyandereaddictionpoint @yandere-wishes @ozzgin @suiana @lxdymoon0357 @kikyoupdates @irisinluv @wanderingwnderland

@circeyoru also writes high quality yandere pieces for Solo Leveling and Hazbin Hotel, so definitely check out their stuff! Hope this helps! 😉 Have a lovely day!

[irisinluv]

Hello! Can I be 🪻 anon? Also are you working on/going to work on the villainess reader series? I love it so much! I love the humor of reader as she tried to be evil and fails.

You can absolutely be 🪻anon! And I have that series on hiatus at the moment cuz I had a series of bad life events happen while writing it, so it’s just kinda bleh in my mind at the moment, but I am hoping I get the motivation to pick it up again soon! I had so many thoughts about what would come next. Part 3 was gonna be mc buckling down and researching in the library, cuz she definitely ignored all the politics and ins and outs of the magic system and now doesn’t know nearly enough about the mage guild…. Who she feels like would be a pretty good resource for fixing cross dimensional body swapping.

[irisinluv]

Thinking about a Yan emperor who kidnapped you and is growing tired of you rejecting him…. So he poisons your wine and then when you start coughing, he takes a swig of the antidote and makes you kiss him to receive it.

[irisinluv]

Y’all need to help me come up with what to do to celebrate 1K on here….. I can’t believe that many of you are tuning into my self indulgent shit posting…. But ily for it. Just gotta figure out what to do once we hit the big 1000….

[irisinluv]

The first time your spouse ever saw you come home from work with tear tracks down your face was the last time you ever came home from work at all.

“Baby it was just a bad migraine. I can go back to work.”

“No.”

“But-“

“No.”

You huff as you’re dragged back to bed for the billionth time.

“Come on, I’m gonna be late!”

“Can’t be late, you don’t work there anymore.”

You laugh as they bury their face in your neck, leaving slow open mouth kisses and you say, “that’s not how it works, I can’t just not show up ever again.”

“Sure you can, you sent an email yesterday saying you quit effective immediately.”

You pull back and stare at them, hard.

“I did WHAT?!”

Let’s just say you didn’t end up getting up and going to work that day. Or any day after. They’ve been wanting you to quit anyways, they can provide for you, and they don’t like sharing you with your coworkers. This just sped things up.

[irisinluv]

Yandere Demon

They were supposed to steal your soul. Haunt you for a bit, feast on your fear, and then when your terror was at its peak, consume your very being. It’s an easy enough job. They’ve done it countless times. So imagine their surprise when their routine gets disrupted.

You’re washing your face at the sink, eyes closed as you massage your skin, splashing water onto your face as you lean over the basin. The demon is behind you, lined up perfectly so when you inevitably stand up, you’ll catch just a glimpse of them before they disappear. You’re bent over the sink, pausing as the water fills your cupped hands. You splash the water into your face to rinse the soap. They watch and wait for you to finish and straighten…. you pause as your hands fill with water, you splash it in your face. You pause as your hands fill with water… and you land a swift back kick towards them, whirling around with a viscous cry, teeth barred as water droplets fling from your still damp skin, fluffy cat ear headband not detracting from the terror the demon feels as their victim hurls a toothbrush holder at their head.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU PERVERT!”

They’re so shocked and frightened that it takes them getting whacked in the temple with a curling wand to remember that they can dematerialize.

You pant as you frantically look around for where the intruder may have gone. You’d caught a glimpse of them behind you while bent over the sink. Just able to see part of their legs in your upside down vision. You acted on instinct, fight or flight kicked in…. Literally kicked.

The demon, now invisible, yet still shrinking back, expecting another blow, watches in shock as you dial 911 to report a “masked intruder”…. They’re a being of darkness? An old god? Not some mortal in a Halloween mask!

They’ll show you just how terrifying they can be.

Needless to say…. The demon is now YOUR demon, and they’re putting off processing the raging hard on that appeared after you attacked them.

[irisinluv]

Hey what if I made a yan discord server and we all just chat about general chaos…. We could have a channel dedicated to telling everyone when our favorite VNs update, one for suggesting fics, we could have a show and tell corner where we can hype each other up… and ya…. Maybe even putting some lofi bots on for just chill body double spaces? Idk…. Thoughts and suggestions.

Update: I did it. Click the link in my pinned post!

[irisinluv]

Eric Minisode #1

Parts 1 & 2 from Eric’s perspective. I drafted this before my hiatus and while it’s now discontinued …. Figured this deserved to leave the drafts.

She’s in my mother’s drawing room…. And I can’t say I’m upset. I watched her peek into a couple of rooms, curious to see my betrothed outside our usual hours. She seems…. Different than usual. More lively and curious. But then I suppose the only times we interact are at opposing ends of the grand hall, or at balls and social events where we must host and entertain. I know small details about her- like she loves to ride horses, spends her days in her personal drawing room working on embroidery and other ladylike things…. But they’re generic details I could guess at from any lady of the court.

It’s fascinating watching her when she’s in her own element… I can’t help but slip into the drawing room after her. She’s examining mother’s pottery with a small smile, seemingly lost in thought. I’m glad someone’s admitting mothers work- as a child, I’d often watch as she carefully worked the clay, teaching me how to mold it just right, and then watched in amazement as she would glaze it a few days later in intricate designs.

I watch my betrothed giggle to herself and I can’t resist revealing myself,

“What’s so amusing dearest?”

Oh…. Well this is fascinating. She always speaks with such careful measure, as if each word is thought out. She gets flustered on occasion, I have noticed that much, but she responds by stopping to collect herself before carrying on with the same careful grace.

This current version of my beloved is much more…. Open. I’m not sure she even notices how easily I can read her like a book- is this what she’s like when caught off guard? Perhaps I have misjudged my beautiful bride…. I can’t help the thrill the runs through me knowing I’ve surprised her, caused this shift. This thrill turns to shock as she asks to spend the day with me in the library. I see I’m not the only one who can catch the other off guard….

I can’t help but stare at her as she reads. This feels like a dream. I assumed we would have a polite yet distanced relationship, this is, after all, a marriage of convenience. But in the past several months I couldn’t help but admire her poise, the way she commands a room, and couldn’t help but latch onto the little details I’d been able to learn from her. Now, she’s here, in my library, curled up in my favorite chair, so enthralled by her reading that I can see who she truly is under her noble lady facade. And I suddenly find it rather hard to focus on my work. This feels so natural, so right, I wonder why we’ve limited ourselves to such formal meetings this far if what we both seem to crave is simply companionship? How have I not noticed how much she, too, wanted this?

With that thought… I invite her to luncheon and a stroll. I noticed her admiring a painting of a rose garden and I couldn’t get the picture of her under the rose pavilion out of my head… so that’s where I plan to take her. And that’s where we were heading until a rather unpleasant interruption arrived.

I recognized her, the ambassadors daughter. What was more important, however, was the sight of my intended, sprawled on the ground, skirts pooled around her, pushing herself up on her arms, face crinkled in slight pain, and throwing out a blind insult... yet another layer beneath that porcelain mask… my love is a spitfire. I lifted her to her feet, admiring the way it felt so natural to have her in my arms, before letting her go.

The offensive rodent who caused my dearest to go flying was simpering at me, and I couldn’t help the disgust that ran through me- she was completely ignoring the one she had offended, instead was directing her apologies towards me. I exchanged looks with the princess and she spoke before I had the chance.

What a tongue that woman has on her… I know it is my role as the gentleman to defend her honor, but I’ve realized my new favorite hobby is simply observing her. She so easily defended her honor, reminding the lower class woman of her station, and I couldn’t help the thrill that when through me as she referred to herself as the soon to be crown princess. So easily asserted her claim on the throne, on me.

The thrill only continued as she surprised me yet again, grabbing my hand and leading me away. I couldn’t help the look I sent toward the ambassador’s daughter, despite being enamored all the more by my soon to be wife, I can’t overlook that she was hurt and insulted. I’d be remembering this. But, that was for another time. For now, I was being dragged down the hall by my beautiful rose. When she finally released me, the blush on her cheeks was so divine…. I couldn’t help but think of all the ways I might fluster her more so I might see it again.

In one day I have discovered that the woman who has sat across from me each dinner for the last several months, is in fact, my soulmate. Just like I pictured, she looked divine under the roses- admitting they were her favorite. I noted which foods she gravitated towards as well- and realized we shared several favorites, and that she was unbearably adorable trying to hide how much she was enjoying herself.

I don’t believe I’ve ever been in such high spirits as when I returned to my quarters after an afternoon of memorizing the way her smile crinkled her eyes, laughing alongside her as she told me all about her novel, and receiving her rapt attention as I spoke of my day in return.

When I go down to dine with her I find myself flustered… I’ve never before felt this strongly about a woman, and now all I can think of is how the wedding couldn’t come sooner. My mood is dampened, however, we begin to eat, and I see that porcelain mask of hers creeping back up. I realize it now, how our arrangement thus far has actively hindered our relationship. Sitting this far from one another feels like miles of agony, I feel as if I’m addressing a crowd each time I speak, my voice carrying across the vast expanse. The quiet intimacy of the rose pavilion and our two chairs around the tea table, the sound of her pages and subtle inhales as she became engrossed in a new turn in her book, the feel of her arm in mine as we strolled. These things, and the cold, formal way we were currently dining, did not match.

She excused herself to bed, and I imagine she felt the same disappointment I did- I longed to see her face clearer as she sampled the roast pork- did her eyes flutter the way they had when she took a bite of that lemon desert earlier today? Or did her nose crinkle as she disguised her distaste? These are details I cannot know from afar. These are details I must learn.

I meet with the head waitstaff and fix this immediately. From now on, my dearest love and I shall hardly be apart if I can help it.

Discontinues series

[irisinluv]

Yall why are there are all these vanilla looking men in my new town. At least the ones on the dating sites look vanilla. Besides the point that a man holding a fish as his cover image would never be close enough to me for this happen… how the hell am I supposed to be like “teehee would you like my location sharing turned on?” “Hey…. What’s your opinion on ropes?”

I need someone who’s just gonna grab my throat when we make out, bc these bitches won’t even hold my hand the right way let alone my throat.