#too tired to spell check

[twisting-in-wonderland]

some misc twst + pkmn doodles that are in varying states of completion--

(wips under here lol)

[peoplecallmelucifer]

"Is the human dancing?"

"Doesn't look like a dance to me. Maybe a ritual?"

"Why don't we just ask"

"And potentially disturbe a ritual? You know wjat happened to Zaati when he decided to not be culturally sensitive"

"Yeah yeah, he got a spear thrown an inch of his face by a very angry Attra matriarch..... and now they are married."

" I'm just saying Dessa, If you wanna talk to him, stay close to cover"

Vakk was an asahole, But Dessa knew he had a point. So she aproached the sparing mat slowly while watching thw human performe his routine.

"Uum, excuse me" They said

" Huh?" The human said with a slightly startled reaction" OH! m i hogging the mat? Sorry. I'll be done in a minute or 2 if that's ok"

"No, that's allright. I just wanted to ask you as to what this ritual is" now relaxed Dessa said.

"Ritu- OH! yes this does look pretty ritualistic I guess. Mind I finish though?

" Oh no, not at all!"

The human just smiled and nodded, proceeding with his ritual. While Dessa kept watching.

And shortly after the human knelt slowly, put his forehead to the mat, slowly rose while obviously avoiding touching the amt with his hands, took a step backwards and boues the final time.

"Wooh!" He said, jumping in place. Conpletely shattering the calm demeenor he exuded not 10 second ago.

"Now, Propper introductions! I'm Teddy, I'm a translator and linguist with UN diplomatic core" the human said stretching his arm. A gesture of good will found in many species

"Dessa, amature xenoculturologist and medical officer on board this station" Dessa replied

"That explains your interest in my, ritul" Teddy added with a smile

"Well, yes. I find different beliefs and rituals other species performe intriguing. If you would be willing to explain I'd be greatfull." Dessa said trxing to be as cordial as her curiosity would allowe

"Please, talk more casually. I hear enough diplomatic talk a work as it is. And I'd be glad to explain." Teddy said

" What you saw was called Nage-no-kata it's a stric performance form made of 15 techniques of Judo. And Judo is a martial art I train"

Dessa looked confused " Military skill? Is my translator malfunctioning?"

"Yeah the translation pack still isn't up to speed with coloquialism and cultural elements. That's another reasons I preffere casual conversations lets me know what I'll need to work on in the future"

"Ok so. What would the proper translation be?"

"Well.." Teddy paused "either fighting sport or self defence skill"

"... so the translator wasn't wrong..."

"Technically not"

"And you humans .... made military grade combat into a sport" Dessa stated withoit a hint of wmotion

"Well no, the sport was develloped before" Teddy retorted

"Well... I don't know if that makes me feel more or less uneasy"

"Look it sounds bad if you phrase it like that but Judo has among the lowest rate of serious injury qmong human sports and among the highest percentage of highly educated people in its ranks"

"That ... sounds like a salesman pitch"

"Did it help calm you down though?"

"I ... guess? I stil don't understand why a linguist would need combat training"

"I actually started practicing as a teenager so I wasn't even a linguist-"

" you teach combat to kids?! And I tought Attra were militaristic" Dessa interrupted

"What I was gon a say is that Judo is ot just fighting it's a philosophy." Teddy retorted, seemingly finding this ordeal amusing

"Another sales pitch?" Dessa asked.

"Yup."

" I stand guard .... that's a coloquialism for I'm listening for my people"

"Noted" Teddy said before co ti uing his explenation

"As I said. JUDO is a philosophy. It's based of using the oponenta strenght against him. If pushed, you pull back, if pulled, you push. But it's also built upon respect. Towards the referees, towards your coach, towards your oponemt and even the mat you stand on during the match"

"That woukd be all thw bowing". Dessa persumed

"Correct!" Teddy said happily " you see, I used to be a troublemaket as a kid and gor cought shoplifting. The judge saw I was just a lost kid so he offered me a deal. I can get a record which would make getting a job much harder, or I can join his friends program that aimed to reform troublemakers" Teddy said with a melancolic look

"Ok so ... you were a criminal?" Desaa asked

"Basically, yeah"

"And what stopped you continuing doing crime is ...combat training"

"I guess."

"Oh we are talking about this more later over drinks!" Dessa said grinning from ear to ear

"Ok, but you're buying" Teddy added

[orphicachilles]

They can bond over this

prometheus design based on this post

[mac33cheese]

I've talked abt how what if saiki got severely injured to the point of not being able to fully heal himself post meteor or him straight up dieing

But what abt if he had to reset time again and using mind control to make it seem like the meteor isn't there ect. Basically the volcano time loop all over again.

I think he'd have an insane breakdown if he has to keep feeling the guilt of having to put everyone in a time loop, not allowing them to really grow up. But also sense we know that by the time the meteor cane he finally accepted himself n stuff, so like I think he would have an easier time mentally dealing with the meteor.

I think it would take just as long as the volcano arc tho. The volcano was country destroying, but the meteor is WORLD destroying. Even if he is better mentally he would definitely still have some sort of breakdown after another one or two more failed attempts. But it's likely he would at least have more support (that's if he were to finally explain his powers to his friends).

Anyways, I think that in the scenario that he had to make another time loop for the meteor, he would have panic attacks a month or so leading up to when he had to stop the meteor.

One last thing, with this idea AND him getting severally injured by the meteor... I got nothing else, that's just an idea

[why-the-heck-not]

at that weird stage where like ik it'll take only couple more hours and I'll be pretty much done with this thesis, but ohmygod. It's the boring "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it"-stuff. And now I got to it and the bridge is so boring !!!!!

[wordsandgears]

Midnight burger posting at midnight

In an Au where the EX “rescued” Ted (A.K.A hostage/ forced vacation as Casper puts it) along with Casper:

Casper’s whole thing with Ted is to get him out of his shell (he sees himself in Ted and hates that he can relate to the helplessness of determinism and its shackles, for he too once felt the burden of mundanity)

Ted’s adamant that someone is coming to get him and almost ejects them out into space in whatever vessel the EX was driving

(the EX is very good at holding people in place)

Every time they stop somewhere they have to wrangle him in, I picture Casper making a joke about needing to get one of those child leashes for him

That usually makes him so offended that he forgets about escaping and they can carry on with their journey

Wherever they are Ted has something to say about the state and the use of whatever planet/space object they’re on (Ted propaganda, always some sort of false)

Very unwelcome in red’s rectangle (should’ve stayed behind but is very untrustworthy)

Ted’s wild west persona would be a priest with a past more sullied than an oil spill in the ocean.

Escalating tensions with his tries of descalations of repeating laws and penal codes, not really playing along but also not not playing along.

Not as smooth as Casper and not as gung ho as Ex,

Like Casper in the before Throwing-Ava-into-deep-space times Ted would be adamantly against any “meaningless” detours that extend their time together.

Helping with the jailbreak cements the fact that Ted is a traitor, and a bittersweet (at lest in Ted standards) reunion makes him finally look back in his actions, though outwardly he acts the same to most

(except to Casper and Ex due to the fact that being that powerful and that old you could probably read anyone)

At the battle of time’s melody Ted is solemn yet abrasively uncooperative

There’s three ending for Ted in this Au. (1.like Canon he wonders the universe, by his own valuation) ((2.he gose with BurtBurt to simply see what’ll happen, maybe to gain some semblance of routine he once had)) (((3.and most outlandishly, he stays and raised plant babies with a sentient bush and inter dimensional robot)))

Character design

BurtBurt - I imagine she always wears a fur coat, like most people of her race she has three sets of arms, one set is always crossed and another always has a pen and paper in hand. Her hair has cartoony swirls at the ends and her skin is a very pale pink

Verge - basically double trouble from she-Ra but blue, wears the space equivalent of any weather survivalist gear. Color blind

Minski - a more human humanoid spider, looks human except for the six arms protruding out the back and eight pitch black eyes. Waits finely tailored suits.

Shell - looks like a bush, has holly berries growing on them sorta like a birthmark or defining characteristic

Ava - how I imagine manuela dominguez form the magnus archives, white lab coat, long straight thick black hair, brown skinned.

Gloria - a Mexican Justina Machado, long dark brown curly hair that reaches her back that’s always tied in a bun or ponytail, her outfits are always pristine and bright as if she just got them that day.

Casper - Jake Johnson, grey hairs

Leif - just Leif

Random thoughts

PolyBurger should be a thing - let the employees and the boss and the regular kiss while HR looks on in jovial disapproval.

[a-bit-of-a-queer-one]

One of my favourite moments of the garden party scene is Fourteen saying, "She looked at me, the Warrior Queen of the Falooth" and Mel, who's just arrived nodding and going, "Oh", like she's heard that story a hundred times already

[spotforme]

i am absolutely facinated by the differences between how Petersen and how Havers's personalities have been added to. they both have basically the same amount of time on screen and they do just as little both, except showcase a little bit of their relationship with Lister and the Captain. so like, how is it that Petersen's characterisation (in fics and such) ranges from 'the bastard who's always drunk and does nothing but unwanted pranks on everyone because he doesn't care' to 'Lister's most close and trusted friend with great empathy who sometimes even helps out Rimmer just to be nice' whereas i feel like Havers is always very close to the same 'professional, actually efficent and very caring but also very tortured by his office crush' i don't think i've ever seen him portayed as mean, even before series 5 came out, to me there was really no way of knowing if he was belitteling Captain's compotence inside his head when he stumbled for excample. but for Petersen, he is actually the one Lister pulls a prank on, he doesn't even raise a ruckus for Lister trying to ruin his date, but he's still potraid as downright evil sometimes, not to say there aren't some mellow friend Petersens there too, but that's my point; there's so much variation! it's so different from Havers

given the roughly the same amount of interactions i just find it interesting how Havers's personality was constructed in such a uniform way but Petersen's all over the place. i'm thinking what could be the difference? that Havers is considered a love interest? so people just wanted to constuct a fun fling for Captain even if it didn't have much basis? (it's actually pretty funny that they're not the duo that ended up kissing at their reunion). or is it something like there's much more widely spread discussion about Havers's personality than i imagine there would've been when Petersen was seen, thus making everyone's own first impression of him cement in their head? i honestly have no idea, i just find the differences between how people treat characters in such similiar situations interesting

[gwennevlis]

About Johan's Plan

Spoiler! Monster // cw: suicide mention

I finished Monster a few weeks ago, and there's always been a part of Johan's plan that I had difficulty understanding. He wanted to commit the "perfect suicide", meaning that no one will ever remember that he existed (because everyone who ever met him will be dead).

I get the "perfect" part, it ties back to the "Monster Who Didn't Have A Name" story: Johan, like the monster, would kill everyone he ever knew, and remain alone.

And that was my revelation. Because, why would Johan not want to survive? It was basically all he did until he was pulled out of Kinderheim 511, he is the man capable of surviving everyone else (if I remember correctly Dieter's foster father described him with similar words), and it's said multiple times during the anime that Johan would be capable of surviving everything. It almost feels like he was destined to, just like the Nameless Monster. And maybe that's exactly why he planned to die. Or wasn't reticent when Nina shot him.

He didn't want to end up alone.

When he was a child and all he had as company was a fairy tale book, when he knew (or convinced himself) that he was the monster and that he would make its same end, maybe he planned to prevent that. Because if he died with everyone who knew his name, he wouldn't have to be alone.

[theflyingfeeling]

tomorrow-me: I'd really appreciate it if you could drag your arse to the grocery store so that I won't have to get up early tomorrow morning to do it you know?

now-me, wrapped in a blanket with tears in my eyes: but I'm just a baby?? 😭

[arsene-ee]

I’d really like to hear about your Lone Wanderer if you’re up for it. 🙂

OMGGGG YESSSS

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING <3 (fyi she is very self insert bc I want james to be my dad too T-T) Sorry if this is all over the place my brain just goes nyooooooom

So basically her name is Briar, I'm still not sure about her last name, I don't wanna give her a weird last name but I also don't want to give her a basic american last name (I'm not from the states so i have no idea what a good last name would be)

She is a work in progress character, I may have been playing fallout 3 since may but I just kept repeating the beginning lol so I didn't have a lot of character development for her until recently.

I gave her the same s.p.e.c.i.a.l. as james bc I thought it would be adorable outside the vault so

s-5 p-8 e-4 c-7 i-9 a-4 l-3

but recently I have been thinking about lowering intelligence and perception and raising charisma and luck, because I think that would be funny.

in every playthrough I do with her she gets the child at heart perk, so yeah she's a child at heart. her favourite settlement is actually Little Lamplight because 1: it looks cool af and 2: she likes teasing Mayor Maccready.

she's bisexual, but she never was in a relationship before or really felt anything towards her fellow vault inhabitants or anyone she met outside, how she discovered it shall remain a secret to us all (it were the gronak the barbarian comics)

she doesn't have any companions because they are very annoying when it comes to sneaking around (looking at you dogmeat and star paladdin cross)

she her favorite colour is pink.

She carries the teddy (the one from the toy box in "Baby Steps") around with her everywhere, as well as a bible which once belonged to Catherine and then belonged to James until finally she took it with her into the wasteland, although she herself is agnostic it means a lot to her.

I would love to be self indulgent and give her a phobia of dogs but i'm still unsure about it, and it would add a lot to her character because the wasteland is a scary place with actual monsters and her biggest fear being dogs would be interesting to say the least.

She definitely takes like 100% after james lookswise, well structure wise some of her facial features come from catherine but for the most part she's just james' mini me.

her birthday is the Lone Wander's canon birthday 13th of July 2258.

she is very high Karma (i legit cannot be mean to NPCs, I was so upset when I got low Karma for helping that one guy impress Sienna Pretovia)

she wears Jonas' glasses, she doesn't need glasses, but it's a sentimental thing...as well as a fashion statement.

speaking of jonas, he and her were up to mischief quite a lot, he was like an older brother/cousin to her and everytime she got into a fight with Butch she hoped it was jonas that would treat her because she loves to trash talk her classmates (and the overseer) and he tolerates it. (I LOVE JONAS SO DAMN MUCH!!!!!!!)

she scored clinical test subject on her G.O.A.T., which, in my understanding, is really cynical because it would force her dad to experiment on her (I have no idea what a clinical test subject actually does), she wanted to be a pip-boy programmer, she always thought Stanley's work and talk was interesting, she was really dissapointed with her result (honestly I'm pretty sure the results of the G.O.A.T. are actually predetermined by the overseer but that's just my opinion)

she ends up sacraficing herself for project purity, not because she doesn't like the botherhood of steel or something (actually she thinks they are sus but that's not important rn) and she also doesn't want someone else to sacrafice themself for it...her family started it so her family should end it to, that's kind of her way of thinking about it.

this sacrafice is also kind part of my idea of implementing her into fallout 4 (idc about nv tbh), thank you dr. li for becoming part of the institute, I mean Madision must feel horrible first two of her closest confidants die and then their daughter sacrafices herself for their life's (???) work, that must have left her with severe survivor's guilt so her creating a synth version of briar could be kinda her way to cope I guess, but I'm still not sure about this one lol (i just want my girl to interact with the now older maccready because i think that would be funny)

Like I said she's still a work in Progress character. ALSO ALSO I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR LONE WANDERER TOO!!!

[princekirijo]

thinking about your post on gushing over persona designs and also a reply youve left on one of my posts before... >:3c would you wanna talk about your thoughts on 3rd tier p5 personas because id love to hear em

I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS THANK YOU LEAF >:3c

OK so like disclaimer: I have yet to get to the third semester in Royal myself (I am playing through the game at a snail's pace 😭) so this is more like my thoughts based on a) just the designs in general, b) the designs in the context of the characters and c) what context I do have of the third semester (I know most of it but obvs it will be different once I actually play it). Oh and of course these are all my personal opinions so that's just something to keep in my mind!

For a more general overview of the personas, I actually think the design principle behind these personas slaps so hard. The way that each of them are in a sense, the real, true version of the original character of the initial designs is actually amazing and such a perfect final form for the thieves (considering their whole thing is ripping off their masks they wear in society blah blah blah). And also each of them try to incorporate a part of the character into the persona design (I'll explain that a bit in a minute) is really really cool. However, as with anything there are designs that nail these ideas and then there are some that for me miss it. Overall though, I think they are a solid set of personas and in general I would say I like them as a collective (not as much as the initial and they slightly lose out to the second tier designs but not by much).

Now for a more detailed persona by persona breakdown:

Raoul: Oh boy. Raoul. OK this is tricky for me. As like a design I think he slaps so hard. He looks sleek, cool and I love his head and wing design, I think they continue on from Arsene's monster gentleman look well and bring a more modern vibe to the persona (which a lot of these personas seem to do). And I think its a fitting design for Joker (purely from an aesthetic point of view, I find it hard to comment on it from the point of "does this fit Joker's personality" because that's really down to player interpretation). But hoo boy. There's two major issues with him for me.

Obvious one is that he's a DLC Persona. Instant loss for me. It adds no sentimental factor to him as a Persona (i.e. no awakening scene), all you do is just pay however much it is for him and then bam you have a cool Persona. That was a huge missed opportunity on Atlus' part. However, this brings me into my second issue, is that even if he did have an awakening scene there is no way it would ever top Satanael. Like Satanael is such an underrated persona for me, its a shame he's underutilized in the games too, because like wow that awakening scene. Is there any bigger fuck you to a god then summoning the devil through the power of friendship and humanity's hope to shoot him in the face. Unparalleled. But back to Raoul I just don't think he tops Satanael and he's stuck in DLC which lessens his impact/importance for me even though he's probably one of my favorites design wise.

Diego: I actually really really like him. I don't know why but I appreciate the swagger this Persona has. I think what Diego does best is really capture Morgana as a character. He's cocky, confident, considers himself as a bit of a ladies man (Diego looks like a playboy sorry) and successfully brings a modern twist to Zorro (and you know fits the whole this is Zorro unmasked because well it is literally Zorro unmasked). I can see why the design wouldn't appeal to some people because admittedly it is a bit boring but all in all I think its a solid look.

William: Yeah William slaps. He's a great design. I really enjoy how he's a more punk (might not be the right word but that's the best I can think of rn), cool, sleek version of Captain Kidd. I think he really fits Ryuji in the sense that it actually looks like something Ryuji would wear lol. It fits as well with the whole "Ryuji embracing his role as the delinquent" and again as is with a lot of these designs, brings a modern twist to it. This doesn't really mean much but I really like the sleek boat that he rides on. It just looks cool and honestly that's how I feel about William. He just looks really cool and very Ryuji.

Celestine: My Ann bias might come through here but oh boy do I adore this design. I think out of all of them, this is the one that executes the third tier design principles the best. First: it's a really cool upgrade for Carmen, and it really looks like it was made for Ann. Like the confidence the swagger and yes there is the whole sexy dominatrix thing going on with her but to me it feels like this is much better executed. The men at the end of her pigtails is to be quite honest a really neat design and a nice continuation of the elements we see in the previous personas. Which brings me to my next point: this is one of the two best examples of another aspect of the third tier personas: the fact that they are shown to be a fusion of sorts between the previous two personas. I don't think the ones I've mentioned so far execute this as well as Celestine and one other I'll get to later do. The combination of the Hecate color palette and Carmen's features plus the elements of Ann herself (Celestine is very fashion model to me) is done so well that I actually think it's probably the best designed of all of them.

Gorokichi: Oh Gorokichi. I have seen two opinions on this persona: people either love him or they hate him. I am very much in the later camp. I really hate this design NOT because of the actual design itself but more so the design in context. Look on its own I love how flamboyant it is. The pink fur coat, the ridiculous heels, that Groose looking hair style it's honestly really fun and different. It looks like something out of Zoolander. This all being said, in context... no. Look Yusuke is a flamboyant character. He's an artist he's passionate we know this. But this persona is far too gaudy for him. Gorokichi looks extremely materialistic and honestly way too tacky for Yusuke. Idk I'm sure other Yusuke fans feel differently but for me I just think it's probably the most out of character of all the personas in terms of how the designs relate to the character. There's something about it that just doesn't sit right with me 🤷‍♂️ I will say though I think it does an OK job at being a fusion of Susanoo (who is by FAR the better design btw) and Goemon. Again all of that is just my personal opinion but I think this is probably the weakest of the third tier personas.

Agnes: OK after writing like essays for the others I'll be honest I don't have much to say about Agnes. Like it looks cool af it's a batmobile ass looking motorbike and I think it fits Makoto I just... don't have much else to say. I don't really understand the color scheme for this one I'll be honest considering that up until now Makoto's personas have primarily been blue so this black and gold combo kinda comes outta nowhere, but it's fine. It's just missing something for me.

Al Azif: Star Destroyer. OK but in all seriousness I like the design. Again not much to say, the sleek technology + hacker vibes obviously fit Futaba very well and all in all I like it. Like Agnes it's just kinda there for me. I will say though it does feel like a Pokemon evolution more than a fusion between the previous two. Like the Salamence line (creature -> ball -> powerful creature). Does this mean anything.

Lucy: OK I promise I'm not running out of steam or anything but again, Lucy is kinda just there for me. I've honestly been sitting here looking at it like "it looks cool. It looks like an upgraded Miladay. It's cool. Why a spy I don't know but its cool". And that about sums it up to be honest. I get that the figure she is based off of was a spy but like why a spy for Haru. Was this just a case of them going "well it looks kinda like a modern business woman and looks like a spy which is what Lucy is based on so a spy it is". Is that what's happening here.

Hereward: And here he is the main man himself. By FAR my favorite third tier Persona. Sorry Celestine I love you but have you seen this man. This Persona design hits the nail on the head. Is it a good representation of how Akechi has changed as a character? Yes absolutely (dark hero vibes). Is it a good combination of the previous two Personas? Without a shadow of a doubt knocks it outta the park. Does it fit with the initial Persona unmasked theme? Yes yes it does. I also wanna mention that I like the idea that Akechi awoke to Loki and Robin Hood at the same time (full credit for that idea goes to whoever drew that phenomenal artwork I am so sorry I can't remember their url) and Hereward being a really good combination of both of them leans into that idea nicely (that's more a coincidence tbh cause I don't think it's explicitly stated which one came first). Also this quote from the wiki really sums up how good I think Hereward's design is:

"In a similar vein to how Robin Hood's design was largely inspired by comic book hero Superman, Hereward's design may have been inspired by Batman, hence the black armor and the bat wing-like protrusions on the back of his head. This may be an allusion to Akechi's role in the third semester, symbolizing his transformation from a seemingly-altruistic hero to a feared warrior seeking to see through his own personal justice. It also can be seen as a visual combination of Robin Hood and Loki, incorporating the bow and weapon of the former and the dark aesthetics of the latter."

Ella: um. Yeah I gotta be honest on this one, I don't feel... qualified? enough to give my thoughts on her because I feel like I haven't fully grasped Sumire as a character. I think the whole Cinderella persona thing she has gong on is great and it fits what I understand of her story but as for Ella's design. Why a wedding dress. Like why. It looks appealing but like??? I don't know tbh 💀💀

And yeah that about sums up all my thoughts. I will say that like I feel my thoughts will change once I get the full story of the third semester because already I feel like a lot of these designs are missing (or I'm missing the context) some connection to the actual story of the third semester. Like these personas are supposed to represent the sort of wrapping up of the thieves character arcs and I feel like that aspect is, while the idea of the personas being based off of their original personas leans into this, ultimately underused. I don't know maybe my thoughts will change once I play it properly. Uh hope you had fun reading this because I've been typing for like an hour no joke 💀😭

[feminurge]

love how myrkul chose ketheric. big guy. big vibes. zaddy, tbh, if anyone cares. love how bane chose gortash. rich prick energy. still a decent sized guy. he looks like a wattpad villain. and then bhaal turned around and literally just took the first rabid stray he found and of fucking course it had to be a chihuaha-sized woman

[radioactive-earthshine]

I know DC won’t do it because they’re cowards, but in my heart of hearts, I know that if Kon had introduced Bart to the family as his bf, not only would Ma and Pa have loved him, Baby Martha would’ve loved him as her stepdad

Your heart is pure and correct. Bonus for Lophi having found a family too with Ma and Pa (we ain't killing her to prop Konbart up).

Ma and Pa would be delighted with Bart and their hearts would be at ease with him. It's never easy to be with a Super, loving them is easy yes, but dealing with the the dangers and complexities associated with them is something else entirely.

But seeing the way both Kon and Bart glow around each other as they celebrate each other's weirdness brings them joy. And they keep the pride stuff out a lot longer.

[screamingtheo]

Happy New Year!

I guess other people would now write something inspirational but I'm not good with words...

I tried sleeping through midnight but got woken up because my neighbors celebrated very loudly. I'm too lazy to tell them to be quite, so I just lay here and listen to their singing :)

[applepies-and-starlight]

Hi hi it's 1am here and the thoughts are Not Great so scroll past if you don't want to see the pettiest vent in your life 'k thanks ♡

So you know that post about me being scared about sharing my work if it isn't the popular opinion or anything generally commonly appealing? Yeah so as I was typing out the tags my brain threw a core memory at my face and went "you absolutely know why"

Anywau basically like, i was an undertale fan during the undertale renissance (is that how you spell it?) And i was fucking OBSESSED over glitchtale (until early season 2 + before camila was outed to be a shitbag) and thought glithtale was very very cool

Ankther thing is that i was a chronic deviantart scroller at the tjme (also on google images) and i love lovr loooooved looking at people's art

So i was like "hey i could do that too!" And started making fanart for glitchtale, specifically that final battle part where they're in The Orb™ in s1

I was doing it in school because at this point everyone was basically just hanging out (my elementary's system was 1st grade to 6th grade (i was... 5th grade iirc) And also had this weird systen where the younger half of elementary would go home 2 hours earlier than the older half (1pm), idk why) and like, because there was literally just 4 people here because small school, i showed my wip to the other 3 people present in the area

They made fun of it

Yeag,,

They made fun of. Basically Everything.

The thing that primarily stuck with me was how they teased about frisk's posing and the overall edginess of the piece, but mostly how frisk looked stypid (which, 1. Y'all play fnaf and brag that you're cool though kids you don't have room to talk; 2. It was The Orb™ fight,,, of course it was gonna be edgy,,,,)

It's somewhere in a landfill now, i threw it in the trash and never fished it out... probably decomposed by now, it's been 8 years (holy shit it's been 8 years)

I... think they apologized? Idk i just know they had a "wait shit no-" moment when i threw it in the trash but i was already mad about it so, yeag

Like... i like to say that it doesn't affect me that badly anymore but i'm pretty sure it still is? I literally can't look at my art anymore without thinking of how bad it looks compared to everyone else's and i also am physically unable to Not agree with others (i literally forced myself to hate homura akemi pmmm because a friend didn't see the nuance in her character and just relegated her to "bitch" lmao) and Good Lird i have crippling perfectionism because if 1 person hates it then everyone does right??? Lmao

Deadass nowadays i just can't bring myself to make or share any ideas or pick up anything creative because i HAVE to get it perfect in 1 go otherwise i'll be ridiculed for it; I'm Trying to outgrow these problems but it's jist So Dicking Hard akfjshdjdhr and it seriously doesn't help tjat there was a seperare (smaller) incident where i found one of my drawings crumpled on the floor by someone

Man i'm kinda fucked up am i?