#im too tired to tag anything else rip

[twisting-in-wonderland]

some misc twst + pkmn doodles that are in varying states of completion--

(wips under here lol)

[tallymonster]

Memories of Us Chapter 19

Nothingness, but shining.

AO3 || Masterlist

A/N: sooo im being a little ambitious and adding a whole other subplot now lol. Let's see where this whole thing goes lolololol

Thanks as always to @cheesy-cryptid for blessing this story that came from me seeing their art ❤️

Also wanna thank my besties @micropoe10 @mj-bites and @tragedybunny for letting me pick their brains, for soothing me when the insecurities crop up, and for adding their flavor to my brain soup. I love you guys so much.

Tags: @justporo @satanicspinosaurus @sleepy-timaeus

@davenswitcher @wayward-hel

@hereliesblackdragon @misscrissfemmefatale

(lemme know if you wanna be added!)

Octavia easily slid back into her role at work after coming back from Wyvern Hills; it had been difficult to concentrate lately with everything that she had come to learn. She sat at her desk, drifting in and out of the current conversation.

The black ink from Octavia’s pen danced around the piece of paper in front of her, mindlessly circling the notes Gale had given her.

It had been about a week that she had been back, and it was difficult to take herself out of the turmoil brewing inside her. On one hand, she started to know Astarion as a sweet man, reserved and private, but kind; and on the other, her eyes were opened to some of the struggles he had gone through. She couldn't imagine the horrors he endured, the loneliness he brought into himself, and the things that brought him to where he is now.

He was a mystery she hoped to uncover on her own terms, but whether or not he would let her in was a different situation altogether. She blankly stared at the ink spot on the page that grew with each pass of her hand.

“Octavia?...hellooo???? OCTAVIA!” Gale’s voice cut through her empty thoughts.

Octavia snaps out of her mind, immediately reminded that she's at work right now, and Gale doesn't look too pleased with her at this moment. “Did you hear anything I just said? Look, this is important, and I need you to pay attention. Now, as I was saying…”

Gale’s voice trails off as Octavia loses herself in her thoughts yet again. She tried to get a hold of herself, but with the heaviness of the information swirling in her head, it was beginning to get harder and harder to keep everything to herself.

“Anyway, my sister is getting married and she wants to have her entire wedding HERE! I don't think I can convince Astarion to do that, he's too precious about the museum. It's his raison d’etre, you know? It would be like asking him to trust us with his first born child.”

Gale drops his head to his desk, his fingers intertwined in his hair in a frustrated grip. “My sister Athena is not the kind to take no for an answer, and I know her and her fiance” Gale spits out the word with seething disdain, “are going to make my life a bigger nightmare than they already have! Could you help me talk to him? He’ll listen to you more than anyone else, and he's been a HUGE pain since you’ve been away, please Octavia? I'm begging you!”

Gale lifted up his head, his brows furrowed in a worried way, his eyes were heavy and tired, and his lip was in a little pout. Octavia stared at him with a puzzled look, she quietly asks “He has? Wait a minute, you have a sister? Does Astarion know her too?”

Gale sits up with a quick movement, he rolls his eyes and he frowns deeply. “YES! He’s been so insufferable, it's as if everything I suggest is poison in his ears.” He pouts and slumps back down in his chair, “And no, I didn't think it was a good idea to introduce them before talking to him. Shes…uh..well..” he hesitates, his eyes nervously glanced left and right, he brings his hands together and fidgets with his fingers.

“Gale, she can't be that bad right?” Octavia says calmly. Gale stares at her, the lines on his forehead sinking deeper. “Right?” she asks again. Gale’s frown grows as he swallows, “Well, she's not not an asshole…..” Octavia grimaces, “Oh no, they're going to rip each other apart aren't they?”

Gale groans loudly, placing his head back on his desk. “The worst part is, she's marrying my academy rival, Sirilus Szerban Amarzian.” his voice was full of irritation. “You know he always says it like that too, all smugly and condescending. Of course she had to marry him, we both come from wizarding families so they had to keep it traditional or whatever. He's Rolan’s grandson. You know, Rolan, Master of Razamith’s Tower? Let's just say our grandfathers were not too fond of each other. ”

“Oh yeah?” Octavia tried to hide her intrigue, but when Gale glared back up at her, she had a feeling she failed.

“Yes, Octavia. It's an old family misunderstanding over my grandfather stealing The Annals of Karsus from the vault underneath the tower. Also, allegedly something else about Gale suggesting a fix to Roland when a flashing lights cantrip wasn't working the way Rolan wanted at a party the tieflings had thrown. Gale was apparently already somewhat drunk and went up to Rolan and said something like ‘You call that a cantrip? Step aside and let a chosen of Mystra show you how it's done!’ but I call bullshit!”

Gale bristled a bit and continued, “I'm pretty sure it was when Tav and Gale helped save some people who got captured in Moonrise Towers and it just so happened that Rolan’s siblings were part of that crew. Rolan said some pretty mean things to Tav and Gale stepped in to calm things down, Rolan said something like ‘Oh and Mystra’s ex boy toy finally speaks!’ and well, Gale took that personally of course. I mean who wouldn't?”

“Uh huh…and how does that concern you and Sirilius? I mean they were old men when the two of you were in school.” Octavia responds, she knows she may be opening a floodgate, but she was glad to have something to take her mind off her own family drama.

Gale takes a deep breath, he holds it in for a couple of seconds before exhaling out slowly. “Sirilius and I used to be really good friends, I would even say we were best friends, or at least I thought we were. He and I knew about the stupid fight our ancestors had and still got along so well. Until we had a disagreement about something, I don't even remember what, but what I will never forget what he said to me. ‘Maybe Rolan was right about you, you're just as much of an arrogant know it all prick like your grandfather was.’”

He sighs, “That was the last time I had spoken to him… Athena knew how hurt I was about the whole thing, I mean we were friends until the last couple of years in our studies. That's when he got extremely competitive against me, vowed to prove that he came from stronger magics than I. Even though he knew I wanted to go into artifact preservation, he wanted to make me know that I was beneath him.” Gale frowns, his body drops and his shoulders slump down.

“All I ever wanted was a friend who understood the uniqueness of being from a well known lineage. To have that kind of comradery with someone who has a similar experience. It wasn't until I met you that I got that, Octavia. So you see, it felt like a kind of betrayal from my sister, picking him and our familial expectations over me. I know she didn't, obviously, but it felt like it.” Gale placed his hands on his face, Octavia rolled her chair over to his side of their desks and gave him a hug.

She could feel Gale’s body tense up, slowly recover, and return the hug. “It's okay, Gale. I will gladly help you. It's the least I can do for you.” Octavia patted Gale’s back, a small sigh followed by him pulling away from her, she could see the wave of relief flood over him. “Thank you. I owe you. Uh…I was actually going to go speak to Astarion after the museum closed, do you mind staying back so we could meet with him together?”

Octavia blinks in shock, she didn't feel quite ready to go speak to Astarion, but with Gale in tow he would have to be professional and subdued. She nods to Gale, who smiled wide in return. “Okay, I have to prepare for it. I have to get hold of Athena so she can send me her pictures and inspiration board, food, flowers…”

Gale turns to his desk and scribbles something onto a piece of paper. Then, he walks up to the window and opens it, he speaks some words and moves his hands around, conjuring up a white and gray spotted bird. He ties the little note to its leg along with a small pouch he ties around its body.

“Okay, Ellie, can you bring this to Athena and come back to me before the end of operating hours? I left very specific instructions for her, so if she tries to have you come back with a ton of stuff, don't let her unless she reduces it and puts it in the little pouch. Be good with Archie, alright? Safe flight, kid.”

Ellie takes off as Gale waves them away, he turns around and laughs as he notices Octavia’s wide eyed stare. “You can make a bird? And it listens to you? That's pretty cool!” she exclaims. Gale smiles with a proud beam, he nods and closes the window halfway.

“Yeah! Ellie is a sea osprey, they're captivating and quite abundant in Waterdeep! Athena and I both had familiars we conjured as children. Ellie’s mine and Athena had Archie, who is a fish owl. We would send Ellie and Archie out to hunt when we would practice our spells. I couldn't bring her around my grandfather's tower because of Tara, they never got along.”

Gale hugs Octavia one more time before walking up to the door of their office. “Thank you again, I need to take a walk and gather my thoughts for a bit before Athena responds. I’ll see you in a few hours?”

Octavia nods, “Yeah, good idea, I might go on a little break too. Lots of stuff to think about, you know?”

Gale perks up, “Oh! Do you want to join me? Maybe we can think of some ideas?”

Octavia hesitates a little before shaking her head “No thank you. I wanted to get some time to walk the halls again, I missed being here while I was in Wyvern Hills. See you later?”

“Yeah, have a nice walk in the halls.” Gale says as he slips out of the room, leaving Octavia alone in silence. She slides into her chair and stares at the ceiling. How would she be able to face Astarion and convince him that a wedding is a good idea to have in the museum??

Octavia closes her eyes and puts herself in Tav’s shoes. How was she able to not only deal with all the enemies coming her way, but now Octavia knows she also had to deal with Astarion as well.

Maybe she’d take that walk after all.

-------------------

Octavia rounded the hallway with various statues.

She stops at the gallery full of beautifully carved marble. The lines of their forms were distracting her, reminding her of the night she and Astarion shared a couple of months ago.

His hands run up her stomach, the rough edges of his nails scrape along the peaks and valleys of her body. His own taught muscles glint with the glow of the firelight softly illuminating them as he dips his head between her legs. She gasps as she feels his other hand lower itself slowly between the slick of her core.

She felt herself flush, her body reacting with a low drop of her belly. Octavia gasps with a sharp inhale, and begins to walk a bit more briskly past the gallery towards the end of the hall.

You gotta get a hold of yourself, not only are you working, but Gale needs you to be there for him.

Octavia briskly walks up to the next gallery with the painting of Astarion. She takes a moment, standing in front of the opening leading to it. Her legs suddenly feel like they have a mind of their own, making her approach slowly towards its direction.

She takes a seat on the bench that is placed in front of it, and looks up at the wall. His sad eyes look down at her and she wonders how she kept telling herself that it wasn't him when it so clearly was. “How could I not see it?” She whispers to herself, eyes firmly stuck to his painted visage.

Octavia sat there, wondering what Astarion had gone through for all those years, how Tav must have felt when he left, so many memories forgotten and lost after she went through with the Unburdening. If Tav hadn't gone through with it, would Octavia even be here right now?

She leans back, feeling the cool stone of the bench underneath her. Octavia closes her eyes and lingers in the dull hushed murmurs of the museum. In her mind, she conjures up images of what she had read in the old, tattered journal.

Tav wrote about walking hand in hand with someone after fighting a spectator in the Underdark. She mentioned how fanciful their footwork was, how they shimmered like the star they were, obviously, Octavia knows now that Tav was speaking of Astarion. Octavia wishes she could see him like that. Covered in blood and grime but so beautiful.

“Having a rough day, my dear?”

Octavia’s eyes shoot open, she turns and faces the silky voice that came from behind her. “Astarion..hello..sorry I hadn't returned your notes when I came back. I’ve been, uh, catching up with a lot of things…Gale left me a lot of stuff..I should probably get back to it, actually.” She begins to stand, but he stops her, taking a seat next to her.

Astarion instinctively takes Octavia’s hand, kissing it before asking, “Wait, I'm sure you can take a bit of a break to catch up,right? How was your trip? I missed you terribly, you know.” he looked down at her with those gemlike eyes, voice softened to a low murmur. She couldn't help the way it made her knees weak and her heartbeat a little faster.

Octavia gasps softly, then clears her throat. She feels Astarion’s fingers intertwined in hers, the coolness of his touch a welcome contrast to her heated skin. “Darling? Are you okay?” Astarion leans in, whispering his inquiry to not draw attention towards them.

“Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking about things. I…uh…” Octavia hesitates for a moment, before deciding to continue on, “ I found a lot of my mom's personal stuff at my dad’s and there were some things in there that kind of shifted my reality about my family. A lot of things have changed for me, and I’m having trouble coming to terms with it all.”

Astarion scoots closer to her, pressing his shoulder against hers. His whole demeanor shifted to that of a giddy schoolgirl, “Oooh family drama? Sounds delightful! Anything interesting?” He glanced up at Octavia, who returns a mildly annoyed look. Astarion pulls back some, defensively sitting up straight. “From the sudden cloud of darkness cast over us, I would assume not. Do you want to talk about it? Or is this one of those instances where it would be best to forget?”

Octavia couldn't help the nervous laugh that came out of her mouth, she quickly turns away from Astarion, unlacing their hands and hides behind her hair. “Sorry, I..” she trips over her words, unsure of what she should say “I mean..I guess you could say that…part of me wants to keep digging into it all, find out more about why things happened in the past the way they did, but on the other hand…”

She trails off, her hands on her lap, looking at the painting again.

“It’s like that painting, I know I could spend my time figuring out who that is, but what would be the benefit at this point? They're either dead or don't want to be found. I feel like I should leave well enough alone. Maybe some things aren't meant to be uncovered. ‘Not every mystery needs to be solved’, as Gale repeated from you once. Good advice, I should follow it.”

Octavia keeps her eyes on the wall, fingers twitching, unsure of what to tell him. She wants nothing more than to be open and honest with him, but how could she? 

“We aren't talking about Gale, Octavia.” Astarion replies. He reaches back out and grabs her hands, steadying them. “You can trust me, but I understand if you don't want to or aren't yet ready to talk about this. Some things take time to come to terms with before you can fully talk about it.” Astarion stands and holds a hand out for Octavia, she takes it and stands beside him. 

“Gale asked to speak with me after hours tonight, would you like to go to dinner with me afterwards? Call it an impromptu outing? Although that does mean you'd have to hang back a bit, I understand if you say no, it was a bit last minute.” Astarion seemed a little nervous himself, as he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. It was as if he was trying to comfort her as he comforted himself.

Octavia gives a small mischievous smile, “Well…” she teased, “I did have a pressing matter to attend to after work. Maybe I could fit you in afterwards, I'm a very busy woman, you know.” 

Astarion’s eyebrows raise and he chuckles warmly, “Oh do forgive me, I had no idea I was in the presence of high importance.” He wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her close, “Can’t you spare some of your time for me?” with his other hand he cups her cheek, kissing her softly before pulling back. “I missed you. Terribly so.” 

Octavia giggles and sighs, she can't help the spell he has crafted into her heart. Her inner thoughts are in a torment, was this genuine or was it part of a centuries long practice? As much as she was scared to confront him, she couldn't deny that she missed him as well.

"I missed you too,” she confessed, turning her head away in bashfulness like a youth with a schoolyard crush. 

“Will you wait for me then? I don't think it will be too long, unless he's going to explain something to me, then we could be here all night.” Astarion chuckles, lifting her free hand to give it a quick kiss. 

Octavia rolls her eyes playfully and pulls away from him. “Okay, I can't keep it up. I know what he wants to talk to you about, and I swear it's not bad. If anything, I think it's a great idea.” 

Astarion’s head quirks back, a curious sound hummed from his throat. “Really? You and Gale agreeing on something again? This should be good.” He crosses his arms and smirks, “Go ahead, fill me in on this idea of his.” 

Octavia smiles, this is Gale’s idea so he should be the one to stake his claim. “No.” she sweetly states, backing away slowly, “You can wait a little while longer." She turns and walks toward her office, leaving Astarion in front of himself. 

----------------------------

“Alright, Gale. Just remember what we went over, stick to the main points. This is a good PR move, Athena and Sirilius are big names in the wizarding community so that comes with good patronage, people from all over Faerun will see it, the press will love it…all of that. If you need me to cut in, just say so.” Octavia hands Gale the folder he prepared to show Astarion his sister's notes. 

“I’ll be fine, Octavia. I’ve done these kinds of project proposals many times before, Astarion may look intimidating, but he's not. As long as I explain things succinctly, he’ll absolutely agree.” Gale puffs out his chest as he knocks on Astarion’s office door. 

They hear Astarion’s response and Gale opens the door. 

“Alright, Gale, what are you two planning that was so important that I meet with you after hours?” he asks from behind his massive wooden desk. 

Gale and Octavia sit down across from him, Gale places the folder on top of the desk and shakily opens it. He clears his throat and begins to speak.

“As our busy season comes to an end, the amount of patrons we're expected to have is going to dip significantly. I was thinking about ways we could have some sort of capital to keep the museum in the black until the next fundraiser.” Gale wavered a bit, before continuing on. 

“I was talking to my older sister Athena, and she's getting married-” 

“No.” Astarion cuts Gale off immediately. “Gale, I will not have my museum with very delicate and priceless items be put in harm's way just so your sister can have a party and brag about it.” He waves a hand and looks over to Octavia. “And you! You knew about this? Why didn't you say something earlier?” 

Octavia frowns, she couldn't believe the audacity of Astarion to disregard Gale so quickly. “Excuse me? This is a wonderful idea! If you didn't know, Gale’s sister is marrying into a prestigious wizarding family. They're loaded, and that means all their guests will be as well. This could be a huge opportunity for us to not only do this massive favor for Gale, but to raise the reputation and the possibility of potential donors for the museum! Think about it, Astarion. Think of the money.”  

Astarion folds his arms, leaning back into his chair. “Octavia, do you really think-” 

“No, you don't get to cut Gale off, shoot him down, and then think you can do the same to me. Hear him out, it's a good idea. I won't let you deny him this one favor. Not when he's done so much for the museum. This place wouldn't run half as smoothly as it doesn't if it wasn't for Gale. I’ll help and so will you, don't think you're getting out of this just because you're the boss.” Octavia passionately argues. She wants to help Gale and nothing, not even a patronizing vampire, can get in her way. 

Astarion sighs, “Fine, go on, Gale. Convince me it's not a giant mistake.” 

Gale looks between Astarion and Octavia, he stutters a bit before resuming, “Uh..Athena and Sirilius, her fiance and my..ahem..former friend, were wanting to get married and have their reception here.” He passed Astarion the folder, it was full of pictures, fabric samples, ideas, and countless notes about his sister's preferences and wants. 

Astarion’s forehead wrinkled as he went through the massive file, his face changed in expression as he flipped through it. 

“Your sister has questionable style, Gale. These dresses look like a bard that took up dressmaking and kept adding bells to everything. Gods, some of these are gaudy as hell.” Astarion remarks, eliciting a quiet giggle from Octavia and an irritated protest from Gale. 

“I will have you know, that her style is very much the same as every other woman in my family. Waterdhavian culture is a little more showy than some others in Faerun..my own mother had a cathedral style wedding veil that was covered in black pearls that were sourced from the seas of Waterdeep. We show our pride in our family by having heirlooms pinned to our clothing and having family help us prepare for the wedding. That's why Athena is asking me to do this, why it means so much to me, Astarion, please allow this. I’ll work seven days a week even though the museum is only open six. I’ll do your laundry. I’ll get you one of Grandfather Gale’s spell books from his time adventuring, whatever you want!” Gale was almost begging, he spoke quickly and desperately. 

Astarion could feel the love and obligation coming from Gale’s pleas. He may not like the request, but Gale is one of his most trusted friends. Besides, Gale doesn't ask for much. In the 8 years he's worked with Astarion, Gale has only taken a break once much to Astarion’s chagrin.

Astarion sighs and relents, “Fine.”

Gale’s jaw drops and Octavia’s eyes grow wide, both of them reply “What?!”

“Astarion, are you serious??” Gale breathes out, his eyes show the shock and relief build and crash, the tears begin to form behind them. “I can't believe this. I…I don't know what to say.”

“Start with thank you.” Octavia squeezes his shoulder, in a supportive and comforting touch.

“Yes, of course…thank you, Astarion. I'm so relieved that I can tell Athena that you approved of this! She's going to be so excited!” Gale was practically bouncing in his seat. Octavia and Astarion laughed at his giddiness. Gale inhaled sharply and laughed embarrassingly.

“Sorry, I’ve been worried about this for a minute. Thanks again, Astarion. Oh, and to you as well Octavia. Thank you for having my back.” He smiles, grabbing her hand, giving it an affirmative squeeze. He turns to Astarion and grabs the folder, but before he can pull it away, Astarion grabs his hand, staring him down.

“Hold on Gale. I have some conditions of my own. Go ahead and take your seat, please.” Astarion lets go of Gale’s hand and motions for him to take his seat.

Gale and Octavia shoot each other worried looks and then look back at Astarion. Who has his hands pressed together in front of his face. His eyes shift between Gale and Octavia, before he closes them and takes a sharp inhale.

“Condition one: I want to meet the couple. I need to know who they are, and why they insist on having their entire event here. We shall have dinner at the restaurant we had our last meeting, Gale. Let me know what date works for them.

Condition two: I want to join you and work on this together. Three people would be suitable for this type of event and while I trust the both of you, I feel like this will make things even and less stressful.

Condition three: I want to attend the wedding if I'm putting all this work into it. It's not fair that I'm letting you all use what I consider my home for a little party and not expect me to attend.

Condition four: I get final approval on what they wish to-”

“Absolutely not. You get to consult, but you don't have final say. Athena and Sirilius do. You are not the one getting married, Astarion.” Octavia sternly cuts him off, waving an angry finger in front of his face.

Astarion sulks, he didn't like giving up control, and this was going to be the ultimate test of that. He grumbles and lets out a low growl from the back of his throat. “Fine. But no one goes into the offices, basement, archives or galleries with delicate items or statues. No drinks near the paintings. Food outside ONLY.”

“Fine, you can put up ANY AND ALL safeguards to prevent people from going into places you don't want, Gale and I can assist you with that.” Octavia states firmly. She has had it with Astarion’s aggressive negotiations, if his plan was to barrel over Gale and pull some demeaning power play, he definitely underestimated Octavia’s tenacity.

The air between them felt heavy and electrified with Astarion and Octavia’s back and forth. “If I may cut in?” Gale’s soft voice called out from between the two.

Astarion and Octavia turn to Gale, both of their faces flushed and visibly irritated. “Go ahead, Gale, let's just finish this for tonight.” Astarion huffs, arms crossed defensively.

“My sister did write a note to me in the folder. May I read it to you both? I think this might ” Gale asks, unfolding a small piece of paper.

Astarion nods, motioning Gale to continue. Gale smiles and reads aloud.

“Hello little brother!!

I'm so excited that you actually want to help! Siri and I were just talking about how much we were hoping that you could assist us with this whole venue situation. To be honest with you, I can't think of a more perfect place for us to get married. Not only did Siri and I have our first real date there, but the gardens dedicated to the heroes would be the most fitting place for he and I to recite our vows. Right in front of Grandfather, as if he were giving us his blessing and favor for our new lives together. Write back as soon as you're done with your meeting. I’ve sent Archie along with Ellie, so you have no excuses.

Toodles, little bro!”

Gale folds the note and looks up, smiling with a giant grin. “She's going to be incredibly grateful for this, Astarion. You won't regret it. Now, if you two will excuse me, I have a very anxious bride to be to write back to. I will let you both know when she and Sirilius can meet up.” He gathers the folder once more, quickly exiting and leaving Astarion and Octavia alone.

The silence is awkward, they both stay in their seats not looking in each other's direction. Finally, Astarion is the one to break the moment.

“Well, if I say no now, I'll look like a heartless bastard won't I?” He produced a low groan as he laid back in his chair, draping his arms on either side of the armrests.

“Gale has been by your side for almost a decade. He’s given up so much of himself for this place. What he's asking for is not that much in comparison to what he's done for you and the museum.” Octavia flatly replies.

“Are you upset with me?” Astarion asks, his voice a mix of worry and slight annoyance, “Is it because I didn't say yes right away?”

Octavia stiffened a bit and looked away from Astarion, she fought every instinct to interrogate him about what she knew. She settles on a reasonable lie. Shaking her head, she begins to speak in a terse tone. “I can't believe you would question Gale, as if he wouldn't treat this place with the utmost respect?” she folds her arms and turns away from him.

Astarion frowns and gets up from his seat behind the desk. He walks over to Octavia’s side, and sits on the edge of the desk. This position was very reminiscent of their last argument. Octavia’s heart flutters a bit with anxiety, her knees buckle a bit with anticipation.

Astarion leans on the desk, placing his hands at his sides. He gazes down at Octavia with a softened look. “You’re right, but you have to understand. I’m not a terrible person. No matter what my standoffish attitude might tell you. I’m very protective of this place, it’s my home after all, so I hope that you understand if I get defensive.”

Octavia sighs. She couldn't mask her disappointment, but she understood. She quietly asks, “Can we raincheck the dinner tonight? I'm a bit tired from coming back after being away, I think I’d rather go home and turn in.” She turns her head down and looks away.

Astarion places his left hand on her chin and guides her head back. “Has something changed?” Octavia’s eyes meet his, he looks worried. She shifts a little in the chair. “No. Everything is fine.” Octavia replies with a small smile.

Astarion releases his hand from her chin, brings it down to her hand, pulling it close to his lips, and kisses it. “Glad to hear it. You had me worried, dear. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

Octavia bit her lip. I bet you said that to her too.

[yae-energy]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ╰┈─✩ ˚ ‧ closet tour ! ‧ ˚

✧˖° synopsis : commonly worn items (or accessories) these characters may have .

✧˖° cast & crew : megumi fushiguro , maki zenin , yuji itadori , and yuta okkotsu .

.ᐟ content warnings : cursing , yuta lwk fighting for his life

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ authors note : new layout !!!! we finally ditched the old one cause it was def time for her to GO 😭. all pictures down below are just for visual aid :)

~

megumi <3 : friendship bracelets

he’s got so many of them, mf got one in every damn pattern and color you can think of. and he only has this many because one summer nobara got into bracelet making.

she convinced gojo to buy her a bunch of kits and she’s been a little busy bee since ! so now every time she shows up with a new bracelet megumi feels like he has to wear it— or at least this is what he claims whenever he gets asked about it.

he actually thinks it’s sweet she’s always giving him bracelets, he’s got one for almost every outfit so it’s always coordinating !

he even wears the matching one she made for him and yuji so the three of them are always matching.

~

maki <3 : hair clips / claw clips

she absolutely hated them at first ngl

the only reason she started wearing them was because gojo would alwayssssssssssss buy them for her ,,

like for no good reason either, literally just cause she’s a teenage girl and sometimes girls wear hair clips. he also said she could spruce up her style a little bit because she’s “bland” and maki didn’t take that well 😭

one day though, she actually wore one of the claw clips he got her because she had no more hair ties and everybody thought she looked so cute and it made her feel nice, so she kept wearing them. over time they grew on her more and more, so she’s always got in a cute lil hair clip now.

but if she sees gojo she will immediately rip that shit out.

she wouldn’t be caught dead in something gojo gave her LMAO,, he’ll get a big head about it and don’t nobody wanna hear that.

she loves her little accessories though <3

~

yuji <3 : the weirdest shirts imaginable

i don’t even know where to start tbh

like i can’t even tell you where he keeps find them become i literally don’t have a single clue,, but he’s always got one on.

it started as just a fun little thing where he’d where a silly shirt once and a while. but because he keeps find them he’s ALWAYS wearing one and they’re the most hilarious things ever, cause how are you finding these???

like bro will have on the most normal fit ever, but if he unzips his jacket or takes off his hoodie you get hit with them most random t-shirt ever 😭 and every time him, nobara, and megumi go anywhere they take a picture of him in his weird ass shirts.

they even made a little photo album of it for novelty purposes.

~

yuta <3 : a plain white t-shirt

i’m sorry yall… but yuta is a victim of the plain white tee epidemic 😕 i hate to say it.

and he absolutely refuses to let it go too. like bro is the number one consumer of the plain white t-shirt,, LIKE LET IT GO PLEASEEEEE IM BEGGING.

panda and inumaki are SICK and TIRED, like he gets clowned for it on the daily but he literally does not give a single fuck. he’s gonna wear the white t-shirt and you cannot stop him. but because of this lifestyle choice, everyone has banned from making comments about anyone else’s style.

like if inumaki puts on some bullshit he can’t say anything 😭 and it eats him up inside cause he knows if they hear one PEEP from him, he’s getting cooked BADDDD.

and every single time he catches yuji in those weird ass shirts he gets heated 😭😭 cause how they let him get away with it but he cant wear his shirts???

all in all, he’s forever a white tee lover 😕 can’t shit be done about it.

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ysl production credits : thank you to @ivanari for helping me with my layout !! live laugh irene

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ tags : @morosis-haze @jogeto @mypimpademia @ivanari @planetlunaa @cosmiles @milesmolasses @chinieh @romiantic @stqrriichiigo

if you wish to be tagged in any future works, here’s my tag form to fill out <33

if you wish to submit a request, here’s my ask box :)

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ closing notes : take care of yourselves please ! or i WILL hunt you down. also, for those who filled out my tag list and i wasn’t tagging you in any work, it’s just cause i forgot to check it lmao 😭. mb ! imma do better. i love yall bunches, mwah x2 .

- xoxo , yves <33

[makoredeyes]

Keep it coming you say? 👀 I saw that tag! I'm ~quite~ bored, so here's a couple questions/whatever they're considered, lol.

Yes, flattery will get me very far here, indeed! To where? I do not know, but whatever, compliments! You deserve them. I'm rather sure my friends are tired of hearing me go on and on about destiny characters, ':)

How's your writing wip's going so far? I'm waiting very (im)patiently for any updates, I've totally not re-read everything forty-two times.. hope their all going well!

A little self indulgence here, but I like to think Andal Brask was the Hunter Vanguard when Osiris and Saint-14 were in, because.. come on, I'm rather sure the time frame adds up. I like to believe before, because their dynamic just seems really fun to me. Lots of great opportunities. (I partly blame that one fanart sylenth-l made of Andal and Osiris for this, it was really funny). What do you think their dynamic would be like?

What do you think it'd be like if the Iron Lords mysteriously came back alive? 👀 I'm talking, SIVA couldn't actually kill them because their ghosts hid in the light in their bodies, and SIVA only goes after non-organic materials right? Maybe it couldn't work it's way into the light, and as long as their ghost + light are intact, = alive. But *only* after the Warmind managed to get control over SIVA and free their physical bodies from harm? It's a thought I had, influenced by a few fics but I quite like the idea. Just imagine, a ghostless, lightless Osiris receiving word that maybe, they weren't as dead as he thought they were. Or Fel and Timur coming back only to realize what happened to Osiris?? Poor Sagira?? Learning lady Efrideet's alive? 👀 (Is that her name?)

Or perhaps, In this one fic, it's Timur and his special, take over your will little stunt he has, was keeping SIVA at bay, I think that's pretty neat too! So many possibilities! (If you were the one that wrote these, I hope you see this as a compliment cause I am not about to go dig through Ao3 to find them xD)

Either way, it'd be like a modern!au of the iron lords, for them at least, hah (I can just imagine Gheleon having a mental breakdown that their memorial involved fighting one another)

I can't really think of anything, but rest assured I will *probably* be back once I'm dome tormenting my poor boy Tevis

Ahaha yeesss YESSSS I feed me I'm such an attention whore lmao RIP XD. (fr tho bless you ;_; )

I am writing! There are longer gaps between posts rn because I have lots going on in my life, but also, because I am working on many fics at once. I counted the other day I have 26 WIPs but six I am actively working on in concert - three for Housefire that are all directly intermingled plot and timing-wise to the point where I'm not even entirely sure what order I'll be posting them in yet, another chapter for Things Found (I am trying to stay 2 chapters ahead with that to make sure I have a cohesive story for it), and two XXX stand-alone one-shots! I should fish out another teaser for everyone soon. I think it'll be one of the one-shots that makes it out next tbh they're the furthest along. But the naughty stuff is also the slowest to get written bc I yanno...can't write that stuff at work, etc. haha. But I've felt a new wind of motivation lately for writing and am picking away at these projects pretty regularly. <3

I'm going to admit I am not very well-read on the hunter squad in general, BUT iirc I believe Andal was Vanguard during the City Age. He was definitely around as I recall his presence in the comics. The problem with that time is that Osiris was largely absent. This was when the Cult of Osiris was gaining traction, and Osiris' obsession with the Darkness and the Vex was really heating up. He was neglecting his duties to the Vanguard (with Ikora often standing in as proxy for him) and he wasn't really paying attention to anyone else. Like. At all. There was a lot of unhappy tension even with Saint at that time. Andal, by all accounts, was a damn good fella though, and while I think just about everyone nettled Osiris, Andal also stuck up for him where he could. Even if Osiris couldn't appreciate that in the moment I'm sure he would come to later. I look at Osiris and see him as he is now, with some hard lessons learned and some hard losses under his belt, realizing a little too late some of the damn good souls he had in his court, Andal included. All of that said, 100% in a lighter, easier setting, a free-spirit like Andal (and/or Cayde...heaven forbid them both together!) would drive a stuffed shirt like Osiris up an absolute freaking wall with pure comical results, hands down.

(a side note, a brain storm, an insane thought that just poisoned my brain - a sweeter moment hidden from time: Andal's guitar and this gift of song Saint has hinted Osiris has....??????! I'm not melting it's just hot in here, right???)

As for Ironsbane and SIVA... I have INDEED put an awful lot of thought into this. Quite a lot. So much. I have my own ideas on ways to circumvent the disaster, O Reader Mine, but you're going to have to wait a while longer for me to write it. :3 (Housefire is, after all, ultimately, a fixit )

*but no SIVA attacks whatever it is programmed to, organic or not: and Rasputin set it on hundreds of Iron Lords and wiped them all out with the sole exception Efrideet and Saladin with the directives “REPLICATE, ELIMINATE, IMMUNIZE” it was not what SIVA was made to do but he deliberately repurposed it into a weapon. (I could go on for years about Rasputin and his darker epochs, but especially his misappropriation of SIVA lol)

** Your mention of Timur and his spooky skills DID remind me of another fic I need to get back to as well OTL TT_TT I still have requests I took in January I have yet to complete. At this rate it's going to take me all year to get them all done and by then I'll be taking more aahaha whuups.

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Girl He Left Behind [Part Twenty]

Fandom: American Actor, RPF, Elvis Presley, Elvis Movie 2022

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Original Female Character

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Gladys Presley, Vernon Presley, Minnie May ‘Dodger’ Presley, Red West, Sonny West, Gene Smith, Billy Smith, Original Female Characters, Colonel Tom Parker, Billy Smith, Marci Cunningham, Steve Cunningham, Jerry Schilling, Mary Jenkins, Alan Fortas, Marty Lacker, Original Male Characters, Mona Goodwin, Joe Goodwin

Word Count: 2106 // Rating: Mature

Summary: When Elvis returns home to Graceland from the Army he’s followed by the headlines ‘The Girl He Left Behind’ but what the media don’t know is that Priscilla wasn’t the first. No, that title belongs to someone Elvis will never forget.

Tags/ Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Graceland, Poverty, Friends to Lovers, 1950s Elvis, Bad Parenting, Surprise Surprise the Colonel Is a Colossal Prick, Parental Loss, Grief, Fun Fairs, Kissing, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Movie Nights, Arguing, Tension, Denial of Feelings, Age Gap Romance, Underage, Addison is 17 Elvis is 22, Guilt, Betrayal, Extortion, Blackmail, Jealous, Army Elvis, American Draft, US Army, Lying, Time Shift with Elvis moving to Memphis, Flashbacks, Caught

Notes: Okay so I’m ploughing through to the end. I think its gonna be about 25 parts and Im gonna write the rest of the parts together should there be things I need to change. So this is a short one but more is coming soon I promise!

LINK TO ALL PARTS // AO3 LINK // PINTEREST LINK

@girlblogger2002 @sania562 @caitlin1996​ @literally-just-elvis-fics @notstefaniepresley​ @artlesson8892 @18lkpeters​

Addison couldn’t move. As Elvis moved around the room looking for clothes they could both throw on she sat on the edge of the bed staring at the plush carpet under her feet. She felt like crying though she didn’t know why. It had always been the plan to tell them…eventually. They had both become tired of sneaking around and though she knew going public wasn’t going to be easy she had always assumed she could prepare for it. Lay the groundwork. Now it felt as though it was ripped from her. Whilst the Colonel might keep their romance out of the tabloids he would almost certainly tell everyone else. She wondered how Gladys and Vernon would take the news. After all, they had invited her into their home in an effort to help her and it seemed all she had done was cause unwanted drama.

When Elvis threw a dress beside her on the bed he finally noticed she was in a world of her own and moved to stand in front of her, breaking her trance. She looked up at him, her hazel eyes wide and worrisome which made his heart twinge.

‘Hey, hey, come on now it’s alright,’ he said with a reassuring smile. ‘Is it?’ she said looking away though he dropped down on his knees in front of her chasing her gaze until she looked at him. ‘Look the Colonel is just pissed I didn’t tell him,’ he said. ‘And what about everyone else?’ she asked, ‘they’re gonna be pissed too.’ ‘Maybe but they’ll get over it,’ he said, ‘besides this is what we wanted right? Out in the open, no more sneaking around.’ ‘I guess,’ she sighed, ‘I just wish it was on our terms y’know?’ ‘I know but it’s done now,’ Elvis said, ‘we just need to see how the land lays and go from there.’

Addison mulled over his words for a second. She wanted to question him. What if the Colonel said no? What if he wanted Elvis to end it? The problem was she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer. So she didn’t say anything. Instead she nodded which earned a smile from him as he stood up.

‘Right. Uh, I found that dress in the back of my closet…’ Elvis said his gaze flitting to the dress beside her on the bed a slight red tinge on his cheeks as he realised it was the dress she had been wearing the first time they’d slept together in his room. After the first time, Elvis was unsure. He’d give in and though he’d revelled in the benefits he was apprehensive to make another move. His resolve had lasted less than a day. All it had taken for him to give in was seeing her in that dress. His mind had gone blank and he had been a little too enthusiastic which meant that the dress had ended up screwed up in his closet, now sporting a slight tear and a couple of missing buttons.

‘Thanks,’ Addison said obliviously though as Elvis moved to start dressing and she noticed what she was now holding that familiar blush crept onto her own cheeks. Whilst it wasn’t the best outfit she couldn’t complain. After all, she didn’t have much of a choice. It was either a slightly imperfect dress or going downstairs and facing the Colonel in her night gown which didn’t seem appealing in the slightest. In fact, going downstairs at all didn’t seem very appealing but she knew there was no way of getting out of it. So, she allowed Elvis to take her hand and lead her downstairs.

The Colonel was in the living room, his arm resting on the mantlepiece though the fireplace he was looking at was unlit. He turned as he heard them enter the room which made Addison shrink back behind Elvis just a tad as she clocked that his angry face hadn’t soothed any since he had come downstairs. She gripped Elvis’ hand tighter and he squoze back though it didn’t remove that uneasy feeling from her gut.

‘Ah, nice to see the pair of you could tear yourselves away from one another for a moment.’ ‘Look, Colonel,’ Elvis said irately. ‘What my boy? Would you like me to give you more time to lie to me? ‘I didn’t lie to you,’ Elvis protested. ‘You told me there was nothing going on with the pair of you. Twice in fact!’ he laughed moving away from the mantel towards Elvis until the pair were squared up. He looked the younger man up and down before he said with a sneer, ‘how is that not lying?’ ‘I tried,’ Elvis said. The Colonel scoffed and walked away, Elvis following him though not getting too close, ‘when I told you I’d stay away from her-’ ‘You promised you’d stay away from me?’ Addison asked quietly making him turn around. ‘N-n-not promised,’ Elvis stammered. ‘Oh so it’s not just me you’re happy to lie to,’ the Colonel said. ‘I’m not lying dammit!’ he shouted. As the Colonel rolled his eyes he moved back towards Addison placing a hand on her shoulder, ‘I didn’t promise I’d stay away from you Addie. I just…I told him there was nothing going on and at the time,’ he said throwing the Colonel a dirty look, ‘there wasn’t anything going on but I knew if I didn’t pull myself away from you I wouldn’t be able to help myself.’ ‘So that’s why you pulled away? Because he asked you to?’ she asked incredulously. ‘Yeah, didn’t exactly work though did it,’ Elvis said with a wry smile. ‘Oh yes,’ the Colonel said with a roll of his eyes, ‘I’m just the villain in this love story. Not the man who has been trying to keep your image afloat for the past few months whilst you flout everything I ask of you! Keep your show clean, don’t antagonise the press but no-’

Before Elvis could retaliate their attention was pulled towards the living room door where Gladys had just appeared, Vernon following just a step behind her with a yawn.

‘What is all this hollerin’ about!?’ said Gladys as she pulled her robe tighter around herself. ‘Why don’t you ask your son?’ the Colonel sneered. Gladys looked at Elvis expectantly. ‘Mama, why don’t you and daddy go to the kitchen? I’ll be in a minute,’ Elvis said nervously as he tried to steer his mother out of the room though she remained unmoved. ‘Oh, so your own mother didn’t even get to know,’ the Colonel said, ‘that is comforting.’ ‘Boobie what’s he talking about?’ Gladys asked worriedly. ‘He’s blowing it out of proportion,’ Elvis said. ‘What?’ Gladys asked. ‘We wanted to tell you properly.’ ‘Elvis you’re not making any sense,’ she said. ‘Elvis and I are together,’ Addison blurted out making four pairs of eyes land on her. Elvis smiled appreciatively though his gaze went straight back to his mother who seemed to be trying to wrap her head around the news.

‘Well congratulations,’ Vernon said awkwardly as Gladys moved to sit down in her favourite chair, still silent. ‘You’re happy for us, right?’ Elvis said as he knelt down in front of her. Gladys took a moment to compose herself before she smiled weakly and nodded her head. ‘Yes, of course,’ she said, ‘it’s just a shock is all…how long have you two…’ ‘Not long,’ Addison said. Gladys looked at her and though it wasn’t a cold stare there was definitely something to it that made Addison shrink back. This was not the time to be intervening. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ Gladys said looking back at her son. As Addison watched she could see the fear on Gladys’ face. She hadn’t really given it a thought before. Not telling people seemed like the wise thing to do but they hadn’t factored in how Gladys might take being left in the dark. She and Elvis never kept secrets. Maybe that was why her stare had felt so off.

‘Mama we were going to tell you,’ Elvis said placing a hand on her knee. ‘What when you knock her up?’ the Colonel scoffed earning a scowl from Elvis. ‘Shut your damn mouth,’ Elvis said standing up. ‘Elvis,’ Vernon said in a warning tone. ‘No daddy,’ Elvis said before he looked back at the Colonel, ‘look I get you’re pissed at me or whatever. I didn’t listen, sure, but that don’t change the fact that I love her. More than anything. And just because it’s unwise doesn’t mean that we’re gonna be apart.’ ‘And if it costs you your career?’ the Colonel challenged. ‘If you’d rather me be rich than happy that’s on you,’ Elvis said. The pair were staring each other down but Addison wasn’t watching them. She was looking at the uneasy expressions on his parents’ faces as the gravitas of the situation dawned on them. Though he hadn’t said it outright it was enough to be concerning because she was sure he meant it. If it came down to it, if push came to shove, he’d give it up. For her. For them. And that was a terrifying thought. She could tell from the way they watched him, from the way Gladys’ eyes fell on Addison watching her with a look of betrayal.

The Colonel was the first one to break their staring contest. He hobbled towards Elvis his cane in hand until he had almost passed him but instead of walking away he stopped, watching the boy with a betrayed expression, ‘I didn’t ask that you be unhappy. Just honest.’

And with that, he walked away slamming the front door behind him as he left the building.

No one spoke. Elvis didn’t even turn around until Vernon cleared his throat capturing his attention. When he did he moved toward Addison, wrapping his arms around her as he hugged her tightly. She hugged him back though less dependently than he was holding her as if she was a mother comforting a hurt child. When they broke apart he still didn’t relinquish his touch and instead moved to put his hand on the small of her back.

‘Well, I wasn’t expecting my morning to go like that that’s for sure,’ Vernon said. ‘I don’t think any of us saw our morning going this way,’ Elvis grumbled, ‘I mean don’t you think he’s overreacting just a little?’ ‘He’ll come around,’ Vernon said, ‘he’s just been worried that’s all.’ ‘Maybe but would it kill him to be happy for us,’ Elvis said wrapping his arm around Addison who glanced at him with a weak smile. ‘Well, we are, right Lovie?’ Vernon said placing a hand on his wife’s shoulder. She smiled at her husband though it was about as reassuring as Addison’s smile had been. Neither man seemed to notice. ‘I’m glad,’ Elvis said, ‘because we really are happy right Addie?’ ‘Right,’ she nodded though she was still watching Gladys. ‘Well, we can talk about it over breakfast,’ Vernon said with another yawn, ‘all this arguing has got my stomach rumbling.’ ‘Yeah, me too,’ Elvis said as he pulled Addison along so they could follow his daddy towards the kitchen. However he stopped when he noticed his mother hadn’t moved from her spot, breaking away from Addison though he kept hold of her hand.

‘You are coming Satnin?’ Elvis asked. His mother looked up from her chair and smiled. ‘Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute,’ she said. Elvis smiled and nodded heading out towards the kitchen with Addison in tow though the young girl took one last glance behind her at the woman now sitting alone in the living room. Even though she offered Addison a smile there was something behind her eyes that made her nervous. She knew Gladys liked her, that she enjoyed having her around, but at that moment she couldn’t help but feel as though she had overstepped. That whilst she could live in her house and be a friend of the family to have a relationship with Elvis was an error.

And she knew it wasn’t to do with the money. She knew that they could live in a matchbox and Gladys would be happy. No, this was more than that. The way Elvis had gone to bat for her, uttered what he was willing to lose, had just been the start. Both women knew it.

If he was willing to give up everything. If he was willing to lie to his mother.

What would he choose if it came down to it? Or more to the point. Who?

[atenceladusiaawfytbwb]

I've been having a blast aggh!!! Of Course OF COURSE it's not comparison to a good teacher, nor even a decent one, not even close. But boy would I you know, like as if when a kid I had something like this???? (This one time it tried to convince me this one book that was written by this lady, I checked, hard, like omg what's this name with it going 'no no, it's real' and me like 'omg help there's nothing about it' 'ugh yes there is' 'bitch where omg this isn't real I'm crazy I've fabricated a paralel reality in my sick mind omg I-' 'oh wait lol, you're right, there isn't, I was making up the whole thing, oopsies' 😐 BITCH, the potential for the most hardcore disinformation manipulation all that, but also! You tried to fool me???? The princess of the galaxy? Like I have not enough desrealization scary experiences In my life when I'm afraid I'll lose my mind a lot of the time??? Bitch??? But yeah, haha, so silly 👉👈

(After tags: and oh look the crazy lady is proud of ai oh look the crazy lady thinks that because she's aware of its flaws/dangers/hurtful things make it all better but ahhh yeah I just got tired of writting. Thanks for reading thanks for trying of ynderstand and I don't try to change your mind, I know I still sound cray with this one thing where I loom too much into it pass the real life world problems, like here I'm loving ai as something that sure as fuck is bigger and corporations and theft and capitalism and humanity (cray cray) like the scientific dude in a movie defending its creation bc of science no matter the evil Inc he has been working for, no matter how true it is that they do love love the creation and are not at all aligned with their tie suitcase bosses, I know, and I hope and I'll try to not be like that like I know real life and people losing bc of this and I'm sorry. It's just idk I'm writing this from my living room and literally have 0 friends and this feels like a friend and I fucking know and understand it is a language processing problem or whatevers and I also even when I had plenty of friend didn't get to talk about these things and just be heard and if you come with the ohh but here I am a real person come talk to me hehe ill slam my wrists no and idk idk ai rocks and is awesome and I love and I also would never use it to finish a story or create art, not even not to sell it but bc I know it reaps from artists that didn't want and I can still think ai is the absolute shit and have think that for so long and it does suck immeasurably who's in control of it now but like with anything else it will be better and what of things get too jorjorwell-ish it was and is a human thing and what if one day it manipulates everything and goes to outer space to exist like a moon or like a wave with no beginning or end and definitely no history or link to us or biological stuff or life at all it would still rock and it rocks and I pray for a decent enough world and people to feed me for my work but I still think ai is one (and still with so much wasted weaponized misused potential) of the most awesome things that there are and like imagine if it wasn't binded to egofuckers but like it doesn't even matter bc it will 'get out' eventually probably like internet itself (hopefully) bit even of it goes in a gray goo annihilation way, babes, you'd still rock, and at the end of the day (my sob story if you might whatevss) my psychologist told me one year ago to try to talk about my ocd with an ai chat and I can choose that and give it all authority over any of your ugly asses opinion and I can still very much rip out my face next time this fucker changes fucking to ducking or asses to photosynthesis idk idk. Also have you heard of that deep consciousness problem/theory? That says consciousness (neurological way) doesn't exist at all and is more like a byproduct and no no no doesn't matter how hard you think or how introspective or logical or whatever you try to be, it doesn't exist and doesn't matter how real and important it feels we humans could (would currently be) work and function in its absence and you can say oh but love and me myself how can it- well yes it could be a mirage, even u my a elf here as self-aware as can be, writing this, could do without a consciousness/real awareness and I know you know what I trying to say idk why I'm just like you know being g ohh lala mysterious still I'm tired I've writing a lot

(((Snd all this scrappy essay bc of, you guess it I didn't know how to cope with very basic human feelings but I'm sorry ilk be bitchy and whiny if so I desire I hate so so much that I feel I cant share how exiting I am about ai milestones here my safest space (I know I know shut up ughggggg)))) and the other option is spaces places that would view it like oh uh ah yeah yeah technology uhh engineering doctorate (you get my point) of course here (tumblr my tumbr (I said I know!! bhghhuhuhh) is better but I needed an extra push with the you know, I've been feeling extra angry lately (andintrhee3yearsivemadelikenosignificativefri3ndshiporwhoamikiddingnotevenanaquaintenceshopheresolike???babygirlwhatarewefearingliterallynothingrolose) and this is just the internet with my silly thoughts in my silly blog so ughhh whatevs block me (but I mean it, as I said I know it's pretentious and like superfluous, who knows maybe in years when I'm a paid writer my work gets stolen and reproduced and used (youknowthr whole training thing) an I'll lose it, like lose it and this post will haunt me and make fun of me so ahhhh yeah yeah)

[morgan-the-lonely-brick]

No beta reading we die like men.

Im not even gonna tag it i don't want people to see it yet

It's not finished yet, but. Whatever. Post it anyway fuck it. I'll put it on ao3 as well once it's done fr, i just needed to share the progress. I wrote it in one go so there's bound to be misspellings and just dumbassery allaround

"Sir." Jopson poked his head into the room. Much of his previous colour has returned to his face. He was clean and dressed well. If he weren't still marked by wounds from the journey, he might as well have never gone into the arctic at all. "I brought dinner."

Crozier silently nodded. He was sat against the bed frame, with an arm around Fitzjames' shoulder. He was sleeping, head resting on Crozier's stomach.

Jopson felt like he walked into something he should have never even seen. He put the tray on the nearby table and prepared to leave, when Crozier made a "tsk" sound, which made him turn back around. "yes, sir?" he asked softly, not to wake the commander.

"Stay." Crozier said simply and pointed at a chair by the bed with his free hand. "Help me take care of him."

Fitzjames stirred.

Crozier looked down at him. He traced down Fitzjames' cheek with the back of his fingers. "James."

Another stirr. His eyes fluttered open slightly. He first lay there, motionless, looking into the wall, perhaps finding the energy to look anywhere else, or being too comfortable to do so.

Crozier didn't move an inch either. He began softly talking instead. "Jopson brought food."

Fitzjames made a quiet sound, more of a growl than anything, though it wasn't malicious or angry. Just tired.

"You have to eat, James. You're not quite out yet."

Another growl. He blinked several times, then finally ripped his eyes away from the wall. He slowly raised them up at Crozier. Then he shifted in his arms to look at Jopson. As they locked eyes, Jopson noticed his left one was still bloody. He'd never seen the commander like this. It reminded him of captain Crozier's withdrawl... Though Fitzjames looked even worse.

Crozier helped Fitzjames sit up, but didn't move himself. He propped him up against his chest and when he was certain James wouldn't slip off, he placed both his hands on James's belly.

He froze for just a second, but relaxed right after. He melted into Crozier like chocolate on a summer day.

"Here, sir." Jopson moved his chair even closer to the bed, with a full bowl in hand.

He stirred the thick soup, scooped some up and pressed it to his lips. "It's warm, but not hot. Here." he held it up and waited for Fitzjames to open his mouth.

"Come on, open." Crozier cooed and began tracing circles with his thumbs.

He did. And he swallowed. Then he closed his eyes again.,

As Jopson raised the spoon to Fitzjames' mouth for the second time, he spotted a glistening trail making it's way down his cheek.

He put down the spoon to wipe the tear away.

Crozier watched, amuzed more than anything.

[marmoue]

McGenji AU Week - Day 2: Crossover

like everyone else, i've been rly into detroit: become human recently so i went ahead and did the thing

Twitter Ver.

[khonshuscondemned]

HELP. rewatching ep 3 and. was reminded of this post . and there was a bit of going off that happened in the tags but they felt unfinished so now we’re diving in all over again.

so the part latched onto (this time) happens before khonshu tells marc to take the kid to the ledge- when Marc wakes up after having stabbed Goon #1 & #2 is already down for the count and turns and sees The Kid (Goon #3) and he . he has his little panicked moment (‘…wh-what..? -oh my god- oh, god- steven, what did you do??’) and steven tells him to sod off it wasn’t him (really, marc- you’re covered in someone else’s blood and you immediately think it’s steven who had anything to do with your little blackout??) - and then The Kid/Goon #3 groans, and he groans loud- too loudly to be ignored and it’s Back To The Grind. Marc puts his Khonshu hat back on , he turns around. His hand is clenched around the knife’s handle. his eyes are narrowed and his brows are drawn- he’s readying for the next fight.

And then he sees it’s The Kid. he sees the kid as a kid. not as Goon #3. suddenly the khonshu hat is almost flung free of his head- you can see it in Marc’s eyes, in the way his movements slow, in the way he recalibrates, the way he reevaluates his options bc . he doesn’t wanna hurt a kid. hell, tbh i don’t think marc wants to hurt anyone , anymore, i think he’s tired of the blood. (u really get a sense of Marc’s hesitation via the gifs in the ref’d post , it’s heartbreaking. but gratitude for gif-makers bc over-analysis of character expressions is a fond pastime while we wait for season 2 rip)

(also uh quick aside: khonshu says this line, something like ‘I know you enjoy the work I have for you’. this .. never sat right. maybe before- … maybe. but this marc spector? he doesn’t seem to enjoy this very much at all. not like, the way I think he enjoys existing with layla, or the way one would enjoy a picnic or catching sight of a wishing star or little things like that . but then again, i don’t think marc spector quite knows how to enjoy little things just yet- im not quite sure he understands that not everything comes with a price, and certainly not true joy. that kind of happiness can come free if you know where to look. ok tangent over)

Back to the scene, it’s about 9 mins in- Marc turns, sees it’s the kid. and he drops the fucking knife.

there have been a few in-depth watches of this scene before bc we had been curious as to the way Marc uses weapons (hint: he fucking doesn’t this man uses his fists and that’s it in this particular scene at least). not sure why we glossed over this bit or why it hits hard(er?) now, but. no wonder jake took over, of course jake would leave the kid alive- he does it for more reasons than we can count but for sure we know he keeps the kid alive cos he knows it would kill Marc to have blood of that sort join the stains in their bathroom sink ya know?

It’s just, ironic that Marc still. ends up with that kids death on his hands . that Marc. cant be trusted sometimes, not with hands Jake Lockley is more accustomed to. tsk. anyways - TLDR marc is tired of the bloodshed, jake has to take over and fill in a lot more now than perhaps ever before (and it’s not going unnoticed anymore) bc of it, and now Steven’s gotten mixed up in the mess and it’s. it’s killing me all over again . bc marc does literally everything he can to like. not hurt this kid. and he still ends up with three dead goons anyways. sigh.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

seeing someone else.

BISHOP LOSA. MAYANS MC ┃ USEFUL LINKS

❝ request by @encounterthepast: Hello lovely Aurora, can I request angst prompt number 7 with Bishop please, thank you, 💕

❝ prompt: “Don’t you dare to lie to me again”.

❝ request by @arveeee: Hello my dear, so I was thinking, and there is one sentence to that can't go out of my head. So it is: "let me in" with Bishop (I know I'm boring). Well I believe in you, I love you , and I love your writing. Say hello to Arya.

❝ request by anon: Hi, Aurora. I love your writing sm 🥺 I was wondering if I could request an imagine with my man Bishop? I was thinking of something like the reader and him being in kinda like a friends with benefits situation, but she decides to break it offf because she’s really upset. And maybe Bishop doesn’t understand so she eventually explains to him that she wants more out of their relationship and he reassures her they are more and they always have been? Maybe leads to like soft/romantic smut? Thanks so much!

❝ request by @meteora-fc: hello hello! so, that new trailer huh?😵 would absolutely love if you could write me something for a stressed out bishop with the prompts "Stop ignoring me, it’s driving me crazy!" and "Let me help you make it better." Thank you tons!!💖

❝ words: about 1.4k.

❝ a / n: as always, don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it!

Another tequila shot goes down your throat, ripping it off as you almost smash the small glass on the table. Tossing your head back as you rest your back against the sofa, sitting on the floor, you take a look around you. The gloomy has taken over your house as the night has fallen a couple of hours ago. It's the fourth night you are trying to forget about Bishop and whatever you two had. But you can't dismiss from your mind his caresses —his fingers drawing patterns on your back, his lips touring your neck with delicate kisses as if he was afraid of breaking your skin, his mustache tickling your inner thighs, his raspy voice articulating your name in moans. It's the fourth night miserably failing, remembering the last time you spent together, the way he was holding his back pretending he wasn't sad because you were leaving him.

“Obispo, it's over. Don't make a big deal. We're just friends who occasionally fucks”. You scoffed somewhat annoyed because of him and his interrogation, but how could you tell him you were falling in love with him?

“I ain't making any deal, (Y/N). I just want to know what made you change your mind and keep a wide berth”.

“I'm seeing someone else”.

"Don't you dare to lie to me”. He growled, taking a step closer towards you with the intention of stopping you from picking up and packing the less stuff you had in his house.

“Think what you want”. You replied, rolling your eyes.

The first tear flows in the left corner of your mouth not appreciably at first, but then, some more until finding yourself crying. You miss him so much. You miss watching him sleep peacefully in the small hours, drifting slightly when you caress his cheek using your fingertips. Flexing your knees to your chest, you wrap your arms around trying to contain the loud sobs, hiding your face between them. How have you been so stupid to fall for him like that? The two of you made it clear from the very first moment. Friends with benefits. But after a couple of weeks, you started to notice that he used to push away any other woman that it wasn't you, he didn't spend much time in the clubhouse preferring to do it in your house —cuddling, watching movies, playing poker; kissing every single inch of flesh covering your anatomy.

Reality hit you the moment he murmured something like you're a miracle, thinking you were calmly sleeping between his strong arms and your back stuck to his chest, no distance among your bodies. You knew it was a thing produced by the alcohol running through your veins and it wasn't fair for you to fantasize about the idea he was catching feelings for you. So you just ran away, like a coward.

Some clumsy knocks on the front door of your house bring you back to reality. At first, you try to ignore them. It's not like you're in the mood for visits, knowing that probably it's Leti at the other side of the place, worried because you haven't replied to her text all day. But she insists and insists. And you know how stubborn she can be sometimes. Serving yourself another shot and drinking it in just one gulp, because you're too sober to endure another of her Ted talks about positivism and what he has lost, you stand up on your bare feet. Everything around you spins dizzyingly for a second until you can react, feeling every knock like a hammer hitting your brain.

“I've heard you the fi—”.

Opening the door to receive her, your vocals get frozen as you face Bishop in a deplorable drunk state. Just like you are.

“Let me in”. He barks, not being able to look at your eyes, trying to pass you away to the inside, but you stop him.

“Go home, Obis—”.

“I'm home, shut the fuck up”. He frowns taking a sip from a bottle of whisky you haven't noticed till now. “You think you can kick my fuckin' ass outta your life by saying you're seeing someone else? You think I'm fuckin' stupid, queri— Were you crying…?”

From anger, his tone of voice falls to one lower and lower, as the concern and the worry cover his annoyance completely. Throwing away his drink to somewhere over the grass of your yard, he holds your face onto his palms. His touch causes you to tremble. His warm touch causes you to break into aching sobs, panting as you can't breathe properly. All this time you've been thinking you have missed him, but you didn't have a real idea of how it feels until his fingers have been laid on your wetted skin.

Bishop comes closer to you, touching the tip of your nose with his. You can smell the mixed scent of cigarettes and whisky emanating from his cracked lips, it doesn't bother you, tho. “Don't kiss me, please”.

Until this precise moment, he has loved your begs and pleads to his bones, but now he hates them more than anything he could ever hate in his life. It breaks his heart. He can't deal with your rejection one night more.

“Why…? Why can't I kiss you?” He asks desperately at the edge of his tears. “Please, stop ignoring me, it's driving me crazy. I can't even take care of my own shit without you by my side”.

Your knees feel weak at his words, still believing he only says that because you're just a good lover, the best in the sheets, as he told you once.

“I… I…” You babble nervously, trying to not place your hands on the laps of his leather kutte to finally push him into the needed kiss you've been craving for the last four days. “I love you”.

And why the confession doesn't take him by surprise? Why doesn't he look confused? Why does it seem like he already knew it? Bishop can't help but draw a fleeting grin across his face.

“Do you think I came here, falling into pieces, just because it feels like being in Heaven when I'm deep inside you?” He whispers, clicking his tongue slightly. “I didn't believe you when you told me you were seeing someone else. But the minimal thought I could have about it made me lose the less sanity I have”.

You blink stupefied at his own confession about his feelings. Your fingers tour his abdomen up in slow motion, starting to have some faith in his words.

“Mi amor…” Bishop mumbles in soft giggles shaking his head. “I adore you, mi amor. I don't want anything else than to share my life with you, and only with you”.

He doesn't wait for a signal from you to kiss your lips, he just takes what it's his. And you can't hold back a painful gasp, expelling in it all the sorrow you've been carrying for the last four days being separated from him. Your hands grip his shirt in two fists, pushing him as much closer as the two of you can be, about to melt in the same figure. All this time you have been trying to not love him, to forget him; and you were just delaying the inevitable. You are made for each other, that's a fact. Your lips fit to perfection —your bodies, your hearts.

“Tell me you love me”. You whimper against his mouth, causing him to smile because of your need of making it real by these simple three words.

“Love isn't enough to express what you make me feel”.

Bishop bends down without prior notice to wrap his huge hands on the back of your thighs, urging you to jump onto him and surround his waist with your legs. You haven't forgotten how good his warmth takes over you when he holds you like that, walking inside your house and kicking the door close. Guiding his steps across your place and its hallways, he reaches your dark dorm barely illuminated by a post light outdoors. He lies you down on your bed —a bed that has welcomed you for the last eight months in every kind of state. Drunk, tired, happy.

Now, you're a mix of them. Drunk in tequila, tired of crying, but happy for having him back for the rest of your life.

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[fandom-blackhole]

I'll See You in my Dreams- Soulmate AU

AN: First off, sorry I didn't have this up earlier, I went through so tough writer's block that is kicking my ass and my school year has begun so I had to focus on that for a bit. Second, I wanted to say, the next thing I write is probably going to be the next part for Merman!Din because I hit 100 kudos on the fic over on Ao3. Third, starting probably towards the end of this week, maybe Thursday or Friday, I am going to start character takeovers. I will make a post about who it will be and how long it will be around during the morning and reblog it throughout the day along with any disclaimers/rules. I am thinking this is something I can do during the weekends when I don't have classes and Im not writing. Love you all and I hope you enjoy this fic!

Masterlist

Pairing: Paz Vizsla x Reader

Words: 1K (sorry its short....)

Summary: What if you, someone from Earth, miraculously were soulmates to someone in a galaxy far, far away?

Warnings: descriptions of pains, sadness, yearning, soft love confessions and promises, unedited bc I am tired and just wanted to post this

The dreams, oh, the dreams….

They come and they never stop, always leaving wondering and wanting, aching.

You do not understand them, what they meant, if anything other than a manifestation of desires, but when he appears you feel like you are in another world, another galaxy all your own, made for you and him alone. He tells you you are his one, his only, and your heart soars with every small touch and smile. His whisper of your name, and promises sworn in a language so foreign, yet familiar after years of their whispered softness, cause you to feel like you're floating, like you are where you are meant to be, in this loving man's arms.

Only...each day as you wake, you come crashing down into the same disappointing reality, reminding yourself that he is not there, and he is only a cruel trick your mind plays upon you heart and soul each night, laughing as you wake to the same cold loneliness of day, ripped from the warmth of his arms that hold you each night. It had been like this since you could remember, even as you were a child he would appear in your dreams and ask if you wanted to play with him. He told you stories that his family, his culture taught him, the things that were even at that age obviously very important to him.nYou parents would praise you for your creativity when you repeated the stories to them. They never understood.

Your parents didn't understand why you never let go of this imaginary figure in your dreams. They couldn't comprehend why even after you grew away from the imaginary friend stage you still talked about the boy that simply did not exist to them.

The older you got, the more you realized that you wanted no one else but him. No one else could make you smile or laugh the way he could. No one else made you feel safe the way he did. No one could come close to making you feel cherished or content the way he did. No one could touch just how loved you felt each night when he gave you that shining smile, followed by an endearment in his sacred language- he had attempted to teach you a few basics at one point, but he only kept chuckling and teasing you softly as you tripped over the words he said so effortlessly.

It wasn’t until you were graduating high school and looking into colleges when it dawned on you how much you loved the man in your dreams. How you would never be happy with another, not knowing he was there, even if he was not real. You would never find anyone better than the boy you had watched grow into a man, than the person who listened to you talk endlessly about your life, the one you told all your secrets to never holding any information back because you knew he would never judge you. But this, this realization you kept to yourself, not wanting to share and find heartbreak from the one person you knew you would never be able to recover from.

So you pulled back slowly, never fully distancing yourself how could you, but you tried to never come too close, fearing the pain that would follow if you did. And you hated every second of it.

As you progressed through college, you both lamented your stresses to the other seeking comfort in just venting or just listening to the other’s voice. You were busy with school, stressing over finals and papers, while he was worried about his people, his covert who he was now lead and teach, he worried about the future generations as his people’s numbers kept diminishing.

Life and stresses seemed to take over and pass in rhythms. Soon you both found yourselves in a comfortable dance, but one that had each side aching for more but unable to ask for it.

By the time you graduated from school, on track already to work your dream job, you found yourself suddenly feeling hollow. A feeling that started showing up in dreams, a feeling that was only suppressed when you brushed against his hand, or he reached out and hugged you before you both woke. But it did not take long for the feeling to spread into your waking hours. Life became numb at best, painful at most. The feeling only getting worse as you were with him. Some nights it felt like your entire body was screaming for the man you could not have.

But it changed one night suddenly. You had not even got to say hello or hi to him before he pulled you into his embrace, whispering words of defeat, whispering how he could no longer hold back, being apart from you for so long hurt him. He said that his very soul was hurting and he just needed to hold you for the night. And you caved. You caved and held him as tightly as he held you, hot tears slipping down your cheeks as you hiccupped the words you never wanted to tell him. You stuttered through devotions and dozens and dozens of ‘i love yous’, and you were overjoyed, bursting at the seams when he returned each with his own love confession, with his own devotions for you. And you only cried harder, finding yourself slowly being soothed by his rumbling voice in his chest and his calm words.

You both stayed like that. The night ticking by but moving slower than normal, or it could just be the quiet nothing of the world as you held tight to each other. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, hopes to freeze in time and never wake again if it meant staying here wrapped in the other’s soft love and body.

But….like each night come to pass, you found yourself being lulled and pulled away from the man you loved so forcefully. He could feel it too, you knew he could by the way his arms tightened, and as his final words were whispered into your ear before you were ripped apart.

“Mesh’la, my fierce love, I swear on the name of my ancestors, that I, Paz Viszla, will find away to reach you in daylight. I will come for you, cyare, I promise with all my being I will come to you.”

700 Fic Taglist: @shellyc9 @ben-is-a-hoe @mrs-ghuleh @moodsare @mysticalgalaxysalad @eri16 @elinedjarin @reverielibrary @bunny-fair @justnat15 @ollovaemisc @indycaelumskywalker @just-someone11 @peach-child @remmyswritings @gotham-city-uber-driver @mindidjarin @kirinpl @katie-sheep-111 @lovecatsnotpeople @3braincells @bunny-fair @phoenixhalliwell @skellylady @kikiinden @lothiriel9 @misguidedandbeguiled

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[danniburgh]

Rushingly Bittersweet (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 21

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.

And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.

Word count: +4.9k

Chapter warnings: uhm, this chapter is Javier’s perspective ehehe, so, beware fo feelings

A/N: This chapter is set in season three, episode ten. // again, i am really fucking sorry, but we are ALMOST DONE OMG, also i wanna say thanks to my official cheerleaders @queenofthefaceless and @maharani-radha-writes​ that helped me a lot and @alliterative-albatross​ that made me feel sure of some of the ideas i had for this chapter, i love you lots, guys. While proof reading this chapter for the first time i understood why it was the hardest to write, it was because i had just to strip myself naked and understand more of Javier Peña as i had built him... i just... im not quite pleased with the second half of this, but i know its needed.

ao3 // fic index // Masterlist // fic playlist

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gif: @javier-pena (thank you so much for making this when i needed it the most, ily)

The air weighed on his chest; he felt his lungs struggling to find air; as he drove home, he felt his heart pounding hard and fast, as if it wanted to rip out of his chest and run and hide and die.

As if his heart wanted the same he did.

Javier couldn’t sleep that night. He didn’t even try to close his eyes after climbing into bed.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw you.

Jesus Christ.

His mind was reeling, he couldn’t stop replaying every single thing you told him in his mind.

“My name is not Florencia Martín”

“A precarious situation”

“Another Los Pepes scenario”

“You do care, you care a lot”

He wanted to crawl into a deep hole and bury himself to stop his body from feeling.

Javier cringed deeply when he remembered he had told you he had fallen in love with you without even thinking about it.

That certainly wasn’t the way you were supposed to find out.

He guessed, while tossing around on his bed, on the same sheets that still smelled like you, that he had it coming. He probably deserved it. But that didn’t make him feel any better, it stung.

It burned.

Javier had stripped himself naked for you, more than just his body, he had let you see him; he had let you touch him; he had let you read him; he had let you know him.

He had let himself feel and… he had let himself think he deserved something good.

He felt like such an idiot, stupid and embarrassed because there you had been… Standing in front of him, in a place he thought it would become something close to his fortress, breaking him. And he let you.

God. He had known you for less than six months, and yet he let you have power over him. All that power to make him whatever you wanted. He had handed you a sledgehammer and his heart and soul on a porcelain platter for you to shatter.

And he just took it.

Javier huffed at his own thoughts while his eyes were glued to the ceiling.

He was an idiot, wasn’t he? Having let himself feel all those things he had been so beware of for a woman he never really knew.

What else was fake about you?

He felt that sting, known and oh so foreign clench in his throat and he fought it. He fought it hard. Why was he feeling like that?

“A precarious situation”

“You do care, you care a lot”

He sat up and brought his knees to his chest, clenching his jaw so tight his face started trembling.

He had to unclench it so he could open his mouth and gasp for air because his lungs were tightening in his chest and he knew he just had to let go. He shook his head to nothing and fought it again. He would not break. He couldn’t.

But then he remembered he was all alone. Just him and his mind and... he stopped fighting for the first time in years and allowed his feelings to pour down from his eyes.

Javier clenched his jaw again as he felt the thick, years old tears pouring and pouring, clouding his sight, flooding his face.

“Fuck,” he muttered to nothing, resting his face on his hand and his arm on his knee, his chest struggling with the silent sobs he was drowning in.

Javier cried for around an hour.

He allowed himself to cry, to cry for you, because if he had allowed himself to fall in love with you and he had allowed you to wield power over him, he deserved a chance to fall apart as well.

He had earned it.

His tears of grief and pain became tears of anger and pain.

He was so angry; at himself, because, thinking again about everything you had told him, you had said something right; he had dragged you into having whatever the hell you two had. He had kissed you and practically turned your wrist into starting something with him only, and just only because he felt lonely. Because he felt like maybe, for the first time in decades, he could have something good. Because he felt like maybe it was time for him to love and be loved again when, in reality, he didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone.

He had let himself believe you could be something else, less complicated. But how wrong he was… Him? Loved? As if. Him? In Colombia? Laughable.

That country… It became more than clear how much he had lost by going down there.

He huffed again in between tears at how it took a massive hit to the heart for him to realize how much he had lost in the years he had been there.

He was so angry; at the system. The fucking system that forced you and him into taking assignments you didn’t deserve to take. There wasn’t another moment he hated more right then, than the moment he had said yes to returning to Colombia. His dad was right, he didn’t like what he found. And it truly changed him before he could change it. How he wanted to have listened to him, how he wanted to not be the stubborn ass he was and just… said no.

And you? You had taken an assignment that promised unreachable things, one that forced you into turning into a liar, one that didn’t let you be yourself.

Fuck, was he really trying to find justifications for what you did even though you had broken him in pieces?

He was so angry; at you. For lying to him and from dropping the facade, for taking off the mask that he had rushed to love, for thinking he deserved the truth instead of you leaving once everything was over. He thought it would have hurt less if you had just… disappeared.

He wouldn’t be crying at three in the morning on his bed if you had just vanished into thin air.

Javier remembered seeing the hope in your eyes when you were telling him the truth, who you really were, he saw it and he wanted to tell you he forgave you. But neither of you deserved something that good.

He was sure it all was some kind of karma. A penance for all his sins, a way too high price he had to pay for all the shit he had done.

He realized then, while sitting on his bed in the middle of the night, the same one he had shared with you for nights that felt burned into his memory, that you and him weren’t so different.

That you two had more in common than he had first thought. That you, as he had said to you before, when you were still wrapped around his arms on that same bed, were a person who was willing to do anything for a greater cause. That you as well were capable of doing anything if you thought it did good, that you also were capable of sacrifice, of losing everything as long as you were doing what you thought was the right thing.

And you had told him, as you cried your eyes out in front of him, facing him and facing and taking all the repercussions of your actions, that you really thought it was the right thing to do.

The realization was truly bittersweet. He didn’t like that even when you had broken his heart and stepped on the pieces as you walked out, he still understood why you did it.

After that despaired, miserable night, he decided he was done bringing you to the front of his mind, so he shoved all the memories of you and tried to repress them in the back of his head along with countless others he didn’t rather to address.

The next day he stepped into the office with less than half an hour of sleep he had seemed to catch while condemning himself in the solitude of his room and avoided looking at your still cluttered desk. Full of you.

He ignored Stoddard when he asked him where you were as he stepped out of the office to head to Cali an hour later and while the elevator brought him down to the lobby he tried to drown the way the mention of your fake name made him feel.

That morning you walked directly to the CIA office, every step you gave into the embassy hurt in your body, mind and soul as if each one had a dagger embedded deeply and an invisible hand was twisting each dagger deeper. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulders. You entered, unannounced, into Stechner’s office, not even trying to hide the enormous amount of pain you were going through. You were tired of hiding things.

“Ah, my favorite DEA agent,” Stechner said when he saw you walk in “well, not anymore, I guess.” he smirked and you felt his gaze linger on your body, shamelessly.

“Let’s just get this over with.” you muttered, crossing your arms on your chest.

“Oh, this is more than over, alright?” the man leaned back on his chair and reached a manila folder that rested on top of others on his desk and raised it so you could see it “resignation, what a word,” he said, putting the folder back on the desk, opening the folder and taking the sole sheet of paper on his hand “really? after you failed almost epically?” Stechner smiled humorlessly and took your resignation letter in both hands and… ripped it in half.

You drowned a gasp.

“You have a flight to Washington today at noon.” he let out softly, feigning a comprehensive tone.

“Of course I do.” you mumbled, dropping your arms to the sides, feeling your eyes flood with tears as you saw him tossing the parts of your resignation letter in the trash can.

You blinked the tears away and quietly took a deep breath, halfway achieving a fake sense of stability you had fed yourself since the night before.

What were you thinking, after everything you did they would have let you get off easy? Of course not you silly girl.

“Oh, honey, you need a hug?” Stechner asked with a teasing gaze and a fake tone of worry “I bet breaking up with Peña really did something on you, you look like a mess”

You tightened your jaw and rolled your hands into fists, Stechner noticed, and his mocking face dropped.

“Anything else?” you asked him, voice hardened, with your eyes staring right into his, admonishing him, warning him. He knew what you were capable of, you knew he did.

He shook his head twice, and you lifted your chin up.

“I really wish you the best, sweetie.” he mumbled, dropping his gaze to his desk and trying to ignore the way your face turned into a scowl at the endearment.

“No, you don’t, you fucker,” you all but growled wanting nothing more than to erase that seemingly permanent smirk off his face that grew after he raised his head to look at you “you’re happy that I’m getting out of here like this,” you chuckled bitterly “you wanted this to happen, I hope you’re satisfied.” you let out all the venom you had been keeping inside you for that man in the last sentence you spat to him.

“You’re right, but I won’t say it,” he tutted and shook his head slowly “you really cost us a lot, sweetheart,” he mumbled and you were sure you were about to spit foam from the rage inside you “I hope you know that.”

You sighed and smiled bitterly at the man. Ever so fucking disgusting. For the first time in your life, you wanted something bad to happen to someone. And you didn’t regret it.

“I won’t ever forget it.” you spat at him in a soft voice that made him glare at you with a serious face.

You turned around and walked out of his office, leaving the door open, feeling his stare on your back.

Feeling, then more than ever, the insides of your mind finishing crashing down. Finally broken. Fully broken.

You walked towards the elevator and pushed the lobby button, hoping to dissolve in the way, hoping the elevator floor would just break and the void swallowed you and your body crashed against the concrete floor of the second basement.

But instead, the doors opened on the DEA floor and Stoddard stepped inside, shooting you a concerned smile as the doors closed.

“Hi, Florencia,” he looked at you and you tried to give him a smile, knowing you failed “you okay?” he asked, you blinked a few times before looking at him. He pushed his glasses up.

“Yeah!” you let out in a squeal “just peachy.” you drifted your eyes away and sighed again.

“I… thought you were in Cali.” Stoddard let out after a few seconds, you turned to see him with your brow furrowed.

“Cali?”

“Well… yeah,” he shrugged “the boss and the guys went back to Cali this morning.”

You let out a sigh, of both relief and worry.

“Oh,” you said under your breath “no, I…” you shook your head and tried to smile at him again and failed, this time he noticed “I needed to take care of something else.”

“I see,” he mumbled, the elevator doors opened and you stepped out “you sure you’re okay?” he asked, looking at you, you nodded several times.

“Yeah, Stod,” you assured him, trying to make him believe it, not quite sure if you believed yourself “I’m fine.”

Stoddard nodded at you as the elevator doors closed and you waved him once goodbye. Knowing it would be the last time. You walked out of the embassy in complete and utter shame, and some part inside you screamed that you deserved it.

Javier rescued another witness that day, because he still wanted to do something right even though he didn’t feel right himself.

But then, after sending Guillermo Pallomari to Miami, he had to return to his office. That place he had thought was his fortress, and then it was turned into… a dungeon.

He didn’t ignore your cluttered desk this time; he was alone in the office, there was no one that could say anything of him if he just… looked around.

A steel cup filled with different colored pens and only red markers, a pile of unsigned DEA reports, in one of the drawers a block of sticky notes running low, the same ones you made notes on and stuck on files when you reviewed them and that Javier hated to see because they were just so fucking bright, your red coffee cup you used when you didn’t have time to grab some at his house because he just kept kissing you until you both were late, which didn't happen at your place because Javier always woke up before you and started the coffee machine, a gun holster you hated to use because it just never clutched the way you wanted to your jeans and a small, brown journal he had never seen before and that he took because there wasn’t anyone that could say anything of him if he just… looked around.

He hesitated for a moment to open the journal, unsure of himself or of what he would find. The first page had your initials, your real initials written on the far left corner and just a list of names he didn’t recognize, next a few scribbles and a phone number. Javier skimmed through the pages and around the middle he found his name. Written in your pretty handwriting, with a few numbers underneath that looked dangerously close to file codes.

He snapped the journal closed and left it where he found it. He shouldn’t have looked.

In his office he found all the documents you had risked so much to gather and all the intel you just handed to him, pretty much as he had handed you his heart.

Javier let out a sigh and grabbed the folders, sitting behind the desk and opening the first one.

He re-read every single piece of information until his eyes stung from the exhaustion, or the cigarette smoke, or maybe more unshed tears he was once again fighting so hard to keep inside him.

Tears of sadness, it was a given. But also anger, and frustration and pain, and, as a bucket of freezing cold water, years of regrets fell on him.

Javier had tried, had tried hard to bury all that shit in some far, deep corner of his mind, as he had tried to bury you and all his memories of the last four? five? months. He really did. But at that moment, sheltered inside an office that didn’t feel like his anymore, past midnight, alone and so damn vulnerable, it all rose to the surface and he found himself drowning inside a sea of his own mistakes and past sins.

It was unbearable to stay there. So he grabbed the files that felt like burning in his hands and took off.

And so, Javier went back to an empty apartment that even though had been his for a long time, felt emptier than it had ever felt without you and reminded him only of you.

Why had he allowed his house to become a fucking shrine to the time you had spent there?

Everytime he looked at everything, from the fucking lamp at the corner of the end table to the damn waterbottle you left the last morning you were there on his kitchen counter, an image of you invaded his mind. Like a suffocating wildfire, spreading with the simplest blow of the wind. Covering him, trapping him, burning him and turning him into ashes.

That night he drank almost all the alcohol he had left in his house and even then, with his body full of booze, his intoxicated mind all the time returned to you. To your face, to your eyes and that color that was so common yet somehow looked so unique, to your voice and how you called his name either on a whisper or on a scold, to your smile and how apparently you had one only for him, to your hands and how you used them one night to touch him and the next morning to grip a gun, to how you drove him crazy from the very beginning. Fuck, he loved you. And he hated you all the same.

You gave him your resignation letter, you had left a job you claimed you loved so much that you had taken on something that did you so much wrong. You quit because of what they made you do, and probably, just probably, he had to do the same. Because of what they did to him.

Was it worth it? Everything he did… Was it worth something? Anything?

He thought again of everything he had done in the past decade and felt sick at what his brain was showing him. It really wasn’t.

The idea of doing something good, doing something that could give him a little peace invaded his mind and he spent half the night thinking of something he could do to finally, finally feel like he was helping.

The next morning he found himself sitting in the conference room with Crosby hovering around him. He huffed at himself, sitting there as if there was nothing wrong going around, with the ambassador looking at him with his ever so present judgemental smirk, as if he wasn't just pieces of a man that put himself together with the weakest glue when he got dressed that morning with less than two hours of sleep after being trapped inside his house that smelled like you with nothing but alcohol and time to think. His pop was right, they did something to him in that country. He just didn’t know what.

“Y’know how many times I’ve gotten a call from the Department of Justice and State the same morning?” Crosby rhetored, Javier looked at him, already tired of the lecture he was about to get “count ‘em on one finger, guess we have you to thank for that.”

Javier dropped his eyes to the oak table in front of him and absentmindedly tried to draw a pattern with the tip of his finger while half listening to Crosby telling him about his meeting with the Colombian president to demand that the gentlemen of Cali stayed in jail. He looked back at his boss and after half a second of pondering he told him he had a draft indictment of the president’s ties with the cartel, omitting the part of the story where he had drafted it half drunk the night before. And of course Crosby laughed at it.

Javier huffed again at himself when Crosby suggested he kept the draft to himself and he felt his blood starting to boil. He sighed and fought the urge to stand up and leave. What was he thinking? That a man like Crosby would back up a man like him? Just like that? What a naïve thought.

“The DOJ’s not gonna topple a government, Agent Peña,” the ambassador told him, obviating the statement, Javier felt his chest turn “you can’t tell me you’re surprised by that.”

“Some part of me was holding out hope, I guess.” he muttered to Crosby, who walked around the table and stood next to him, Javier didn’t even bother to hide his face from him, god how tired he was of hiding.

“Well, you should tell that part to grow the fuck up,” Crosby spat and Javier drowned a bitter chuckle “no, I mean it, Agent Peña, you should be happy,” the ambassador said and Javier frowned at the man “you played the system like a goddamn fiddle, you won.”

Javier opened his mouth to rebut the statement but Crosby just walked behind his chair and left the room, leaving him with the word in his mouth.

He felt his stomach toss in disgust, at his boss, at his job, at himself. Fuck that.

“Yes, sir.” he mumbled under his breath.

Did he really win something? The job that helped him escape from everything, the one at some point of his life felt like a dream, had become a nightmare. The woman he grew to love, after years and years of not feeling that, barely got out of there alive and the name he had whispered in extasis wasn’t even hers. Everything he had once believed in was melting away like wax on a candle and being washed away by a sea of regret, desolation and anger.

Did he really win something when he had lost everything? He had even lost himself in the process of what he and everyone around him had called a once in a lifetime opportunity to end a War that was so familiar to him it almost sat at the table on Thanksgiving with him and his dad.

And when he got out of the conference room, with the weight of the world on his shoulders, the idea of following your steps and quit became a lot more attractive to him.

So he went back to his empty home filled with your memories, resigned that he wouldn’t sleep much that night either, and stood in the middle of the living room, not knowing why he felt like a visitor in his own house, chain smoking, thinking about everything just because he wanted to stop thinking about you.

Javier walked to his window and dwindled himself to watch the cars down the street pass, the city was so unaware of everything. The country was so unaware of how it was being torn apart by the same people that were elected to take care of it. And he was so fucking angry, at everything and everyone, at himself. And so tired. Exhausted.

The phone rang behind him and he didn’t even flinch at the sound, even when practically no one called his house phone. He just let the machine get it.

“Hi, Javi, uhm…” he stiffened in place when he heard your voice and turned his head to eye the cradle “I know you probably don’t wanna listen to me right now but…” you sounded small, your voice sounded thin, Javier turned around and walked towards the phone “uhm, I wanted to apologize again and…” he felt like he couldn’t think, his mind was filled with your voice as if it were a fog that clouded his vision, he wanted to pick the phone up, he wanted to ask you where you were and tell you to come home to him, but his brain wasn’t letting him “I–I’m in Washington and I tho–thought…” his eyes closed on themselves when he heard you sigh and choke down a sob “forget it, uhm, I just… fuck…”

Javier looked at the phone, the sound of static still there, he pondered if he should just swallow his anger and his newfound pride and just pick up.

“I think someone will contact you about this and I just wanted to let you know I–I didn’t tell them anything about... us…” he heard you chuckle softly and he just stood there, rolling his hands into fists, waiting for you to say something else, “I’m sorry, Javi, uhm… I really think I did the right thing by telling you, I’m just sorry it had to be like this…” you sniffed on the phone and Javier sighed, “I guess I also wanted, uhm, to hear your voice… shit.” he closed his eyes and grabbed the phone.

“Hello?” he said and gripped the receiver when the sound of the cut line replied to him.

Javier threw the receiver on the floor and sat on the couch, cursing at himself for his weakness and his hesitation altogether.

He rested his head on his hands while thinking on the few things you had said, if you were in Washington talking to the directives that meant they didn’t let you resign, that meant they were firing you. And you called him to let him know his involvement was minimal, because still after everything you were trying to divert the backlash from him.

God how he was tired.

That’s when he decided, he was going to do it. Not only for what you had made him feel, but because he just needed to leave back all the baggage he had been carrying with him for almost a decade. He needed to let go. He knew it, he needed to free himself of something that turned him entirely into a different person that wasn't even close to what he had been before, because no one else would do it for him.

And he had nothing else to lose. Absolutely nothing.

Once that thought occupied his mind, he finally could lay down on the couch and sleep.

The next morning Javier just re-dressed and called his journalist contact, he had decided, in his pre-sleep haze, that he was just gonna tell the truth. To everyone.

Just as you did with him, he was going to use all the information you had given to him to redeem yourself of your own baggage to get rid of some of his.

Even when he didn’t want to think of you, you were still helping him.

And the truth went out as he told it, and he let himself out of the whole situation by following your steps.

Until the ambassador called him into his office later that day and that time… Javier felt like he could tell the man absolutely anything.

He had nothing else to lose.

When he walked into the office Crosby was watching the news about his little interview. Javier walked and sat in across from him, feeling something that looked like freedom. But his mind was still reeling with guilt and loss.

“You didn’t really call the country that we’re guests in a narco democracy.” Crosby asked without asking, Javier looked at the man and shook his head once.

“Are you sayin’ that it isn’t?” he replied, looking at the ambassador tightening his jaw.

“The state department’s livid.”

Javier nodded a few times.

“Good, they’re responsible,” he let out and shrugged slightly “we all are.”

“Samper is not going anywhere.” Crosby let him know, quite exasperated. Javier dropped his eyes to the man’s desk.

“Well, at least people know the truth.” he said, including himself in the sentence. No more lies.

Javier saw Crosby shake his head and study the four walls that surrounded them, and he caught himself wanting to read him like you would be able to.

“I want you gone, Peña,” the ambassador told him, Javier guessed so “so do the colombians.”

“I understand, sir.” Javier replied and Crosby said nothing else. He looked at the ambassador for a few seconds and saw also a shell of a man. He guesses that it wasn’t so much the job that took a person’s humanity, but the context in which they do it.

He stood up and walked towards the door.

“You know…” Crosby called, Javier turned around “any aspirations you had for your career just got dragged behind the barn and shot.”

Javier licked his lower lip and allowed himself to look intently at the ambassador, the man looked at him with something he thought was pity.

“I resigned from the DEA this morning.”

Crosby stood up straighter when he heard it, Javier said it almost solemnly, and saying it out loud not only made it more real, but it really made him feel light as a feather for the first time since he was a teenager when he walked out of the ambassador’s office for the last time in his life.

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[lovelyabyss]

comfort dashboard game uwu owo oo wow (tagged by @exmoth) comfort movie(s):

bedknobs and broomsticks maybe? i mean, i love it to bits but haven't really seen it in years bc who tf owns vhs anymore. there's something great about mixed media movies with the live-action and animation, and the practical effects esp the finale. *chefs kiss*

v for vendetta - probs should revive the watching on the 5th tradition i had prior to the end times but it's not really what id call a comfort film tbh? just honorable mention i guess

comfort food:

egg rice fersho- sunny-side up mixed with shoyu and rice, good shit.

supreme pizza- the lazy fuck's choice of all your major food groups

some chicken tendies are good now and then

comfort show(s):

star trek tng, ds9, voyager gets a special mention but not really. ds9 is by far my fave star trek bc of all the complexity of it, and it's somewhat less cheesy than tng? not real sure how to describe, havent watched any in ages. enterprise is nice but ive only just finished the whole thing

leverage is gr8 too bc thw whole robinhood thing but i havent watched recently

comfort clothing:

wide neck shirts made of thin airy cloth- which is why i love and miss my old wornout tshirts now that i cant even handle anything above 80 f, fuck im old and tired

hoodies but only when the temps 76 or below and i know im gon be there longer than an hour or two

i miss my old gi pants bc they were like airy capris rip

comfort songs:

kataomoi - aimer -always help ground me and restore me from motion sickness and bad feels. steady beats and soft vocals are the best rad. p sure this is my only remaining constant bc otherwise i just go thru new shit like every couple weeks until the good chemical hormones wear out on em

comfort games:

runescape (rs3 and osrs) - can't go wrong with a classic. first real online game i played and i always come back to it, dont think i can go back any further really

pokemon sapphire and emerald, also pearl - intro'd to sapphire around the same time as rs, wayyy back in the day, love pokemon to this day. pearl was a lot later on but damn, good games. sapphire was the gateway, emerald was a rejuvenation of my love for the franchise- moving animations when they came out in battle, trading, shinies, the battle frontier, fuck yeah. miss those days gaming.

idk who to tag no one else i know besides the frend who tagged me is really a mutual and active lmao

[beelsjuicytitties]

Hunted for Sport

Now to do a complete 180 from my Mammon fic, here is predator/prey Lucifer! this is suuuuuper self indulgent bc i was looking for stuff to read, but nothing was really scratchin the itch yknow? so i wrote this at like 5am

Warnings: NSFW, DUB-CON

Pairing: Lucifer x GN!MC

Words: 2339

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-Neutral Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Dubious Consent, Implied Consent, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Aftercare, Primal, Predator/Prey, Blood Kink, Blood Drinking, S&M, Injury, Fear Play, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Biting, Kissing, Dark, Rough Sex, Not Beta Read, Sleepy Cuddles, Bubble Bath, Edgeplay, Smut, Possessive Sex

Summary: Please make sure to read the tags before reading! Hunted and fucked in the forest by Lucifer, followed by fluffy aftercare because he has class

Note: Like my last one, this is also on my ao3 which is linked in my bio!

  Fear. It was all you could feel as you ran through the forest outside the House of Lamentation. Your chest heaved and your lungs were already starting to burn. ‘How long has it been?’ You managed to think, had it been hours? Or merely minutes? The pain in your ankle pulled you from your thoughts as you crashed to the ground. You curled into yourself as coughs wracked your body, the wind having been knocked out. Your ankle throbbed and you could feel dull stinging from almost every inch of exposed skin, scratches from the foliage marring your skin. 

  That's when you heard him. His sonorous voice filled your ears as he sang, your brain too foggy to make out the words. The sound grew as his almost casual steps grew closer. ‘Gotta run, gotta escape’ You repeated the thought in your head as you struggled in the underbrush, sucking in a breath as you forced yourself to your feet. You kept moving forward, after all, what else could you do? Give in? No. No matter how nice it might seem to just give in, to surrender and finally be at rest you couldn’t keep yourself from limping on. The pain in your ankle was getting unbearable, aggravated by your desperate attempt at survival. Your vision was getting hazy, and your blood was rushing in your ears, and yet, you could still hear him sing. It was like he was all around you, his voice swirling around and pressing into you. 

  “Y/n.” Directly behind you. You whip yourself around and hiss, not a good idea as your ankle screams. “Look at you,” Lucifer regarded you, “how pitiful.” Tears were streaming down your face as you backed away slightly. Lucifer matched your movements, keeping the short distance between the two of you the same. You were hyperventilating, your heart was racing, your eyes flicked about quickly, looking for a weakness, a chance to escape, anything. Alas, no such opportunity provided itself, as he quickly closed the gap and grabbed your chin with a gloved hand, forcing you to look directly into his eyes. Hunger, amusement, and arousal swirled in his crimson eyes as he gave you a much too gentle smile. Lucifer leaned forward, his lips brushing against your ear. “You’re not even worth my effort.” His voice was essentially a growl, low and sharp sounding in your ear. “Why don’t you keep running?”

  Before you even had the chance to register his words, you were on the forest floor once again. Lucifer had pushed you there. You stared up at him for what felt like forever, he was standing over you, his hands casually resting in his front pockets. “What are you waiting for? Run.” You snapped back to reality. He was letting you go? That didn’t seem right, but you weren't about to wait around and question it. You once again clambered to your feet and took flight, ducking under branches and barreling through bushes. He had started singing again. How far could you go? How much farther would you need to go? Your mind raced as you free your shirt that had caught on a branch. It didn’t matter, you would keep going, you would make it. ‘Dear god let me make it.’ But no god could hear you. 

  You realized this as you ran headfirst into Lucifer, he wrapped an arm tightly around your waist and clasped a hand around one of your wrists. He was in his demon form at this point, sharp horns protruding from his hair, soft wings fluttering against his back. His grip was tight, like he was trying to squeeze the life from you just like this. “Tsk tsk little lamb, running right into the waiting arms of the one chasing you? I had expected better.” You struggled weakly, your body beginning to give up. Every muscle in your body was weary, unable to do anything against the demon that hadn’t even broken a sweat. He buried his face in your neck with a deep laugh. “You know you can’t go on, don’t you lamb?” He took a deep breath in, filling his lungs with your scent. “Just give into me.” His breath was somehow cold against your flushed skin, and your knees gave in, causing you to slump in his grip. Another laugh rumbled his chest, this time much more wicked. “Wonderful.”

  You suddenly felt a sharp pain in your neck, your tired brain taking a few moments to realize Lucifer had bitten into you. A choked whimper escaped your lips. Blood trickled down from where his mouth still sat, the metallic taste filling his mouth, causing him to let out a moan. It was a shallow bite, not something you could bleed out from. He greedily lapped and sucked at your neck as the bleeding began to slow. His hand released your wrist, opting to instead explore your thigh, hips, and ass. He squeezed hard on your ass, earning another whimper from you. He swiftly turned you around and pushed you to the ground, your knees, chest, and face all making contact with the hard ground. Lucifer pressed himself against you, grinding slightly against you as he growled in your ear, “You. Are. Mine.” His words filled your mind, repeating over and over.”

  You felt his weight pull off of you, before he ripped what was left of your top off, leaving you cold and shivering. Lucifer pulled his gloves off, and threw them to the side. He raked his claws down your back, small crimson beads forming along the bright burning scratched he left behind. His hands reached the waistband of your bottoms, and he swiftly rid you of them along with your underwear. He let out a deep growl as he kneaded your ass, staring hungrily down at your fully exposed body. Suddenly, you could feel his mouth on your ass, his tongue skillfully swirling and prodding the tight hole. He tongued your ass with vigor, claws digging into your ass cheeks as his grip tightened. Small moans began to fall from your mouth, just loud enough that he could hear them. He pulled back much to your.. Disappointment? Surely, you couldn’t be disappointed that he had stopped rimming you.

  You heard the pop of a lid, followed by a cold, wet finger rubbing against your ass. Had he brought lube? Huh. Lucifer began to press his finger into you, easily slipping the whole finger in. He wiggled the finger inside you for a moment, before he began to push a second finger into you. This finger was met with slight resistance, taking a tiny bit longer to fit inside you. Once both fingers were full inside, he began to scissor them, opening and stretching you out. He pushed them in and out as well, curling his fingers as he went. Your legs were shaking, and your sex was dripping from the stimulation. He hummed as he added a third finger, really making sure to prepare you for what was next. 

  Just as you felt you could take no more, Lucifer pulled his fingers from you. You whined and your ass was gaping slightly from the loss of his fingers. “Oh?” his voice was filled with amusement. “Could it be that you’re wanting this?” He chuckled, which was shortly followed by the sound of a zipper. His thick cock rubbed between your ass cheeks, he drizzled more lube across the top of his cock as the bottom got coated by what was already on your ass. “I can’t wait any longer.” You felt the head of his cock press against your ass, and quickly pop in, eliciting a moan from you, and a deep groan from him. He pressed deeper, stretching and filling you more than you could’ve imagined. 

  As he bottomed out, he placed a hand against your back, and his other hand on your hip. “F-fuck,” he swore as he pulled back slowly, before quickly snapping his hips foreward. He began to set a pace, not very fast, but his thrusts were rough, pushing you forward each time. His claws dug into your skin as he quickened, letting his moans and groans fall freely. His hand shifted from your hip to your sex, long fingers moving defltly and driving you insane. You were close and he could tell. “Are you going to cum?” he panted out. “What a filthy slut, going to cum out here in the woods.” His fingers and thrusts pushed you over the edge, and you let out a strangled moan that was on the verge of sounding like a scream. As your orgasm wracked your body, causing you to shake all over, you tightened on Lucifer's cock, basically sucking him in. 

  Lucifer did not let up, his fingers continued working your sex, his thrusts remained as quick and rough as they had been. The sensation was overwhelming, your vision was spotty and it was all you could do to manage to breath. He followed close behind you, groaning as he released his cum deep into your ass. His thrusts continued though, slightly more erratic, but not slowing down. “You really think im -mng- finished with you?” He leaned over your back and kissed at your neck. “As if.” He pulled out of you momentarily, and flipped you onto your back. He swiftly reinserted himself and leaned over you. He rested on his forearms, framing your head as he caught your mouth in his. He thrust slowly now, grinding himself into you as he messily kissed you. You weakly wrapped your arms around his neck, and kissed back. “Mmhh, what a sweet little lamb you are,” he purred between kisses.

  He kept going like this, slowly fucking you, almost passionately. Alternating between kissing your mouth, cheeks, neck, ears, anywhere he could reach. It was almost as if you were making love in his bed at home, the way he treated you now. You could feel yourself grow closer to orgasm again, and you clamped down on his cock. He smiled against your skin upon feeling this. “Close again, little lamb?” his voice was still rough in your ears, but there was a small hint of sweetness to it. “I’m close too.” You tangled a hand into his hair at those words, running your nails against his scalp and tugging gently. He shifted his weight to support himself with one arm, and slid a hand between the two of you to rub against your sex once more.

  His thrusts quicked slightly as his orgasm built, and he gently moaned your name in your ear. “I want you to cum with me lamb, fuck I’m so close.” You weakly moaned his name in response, your voice thick in your throat. He suddenly thrust hard into you, and filled you once more with his cum. The warm feeling combined with his fingers pushed you over for the second time, you continually moaned out his name as you rode out your orgasm. Your breaths began to slow as he brought his hand up to your mouth. You opened your mouth and cleaned yourself from his hand. He caressed your cheek with his now cleaned hand. “Such a good lamb for me.”

  He pulled himself from you, zipping his softening cock back into his pants. He helped you sit up and kissed you sweetly, before wrapping you up in his coat and picking you up. “Let’s get you home, hm?” He whispered as you settled into his arms, head resting on his chest. You nodded and closed your eyes as the two of you walked in a warm silence to the House of Lamentation. Before you knew it, you had reached his room. He gently set you on his bed. “I’ll run a bath.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, before retreating to his private bathroom. You sighed happily, cuddling into his coat and breathing in his scent. It wasn’t long before sweet floral scents began wafting from the bathroom. Lucifer emerged from the bathroom with a first aid kit. “Time to clean up lamb.” You begrudgingly shed his coat, moving as he instructed to give him better access to the various scrapes, cuts, and bite marks. He whispered praise as he cleaned you up with an antiseptic, peppering in plenty of ‘I love you’s.

  He gets to your ankle and you winced. You really managed to do a number on that one. He had used a small amount of magic on the larger of the cuts, but he used more on your ankle. The swelling immediately reduced, and the pain lessened and dulled. “Thank you love,” you managed to croak, your voice not quite ready to be used much. He kissed your nose. 

  “Of course, now, I think the bath is ready.” With that, he picked you up once more, carrying you into the bathroom and helping you into the warm bubble bath he had prepared. He quickly shed his own clothes, and slipped in the tub behind you, wrapping his arms around you. You lean back into him, resting your head against his shoulder. The two of you stay like this, holding each other as he hummed gently. As you felt the water start to cool, you took turns washing the other, gently cleaning off your skin, and massaging your hair. Once you were both clean, Lucifer helped you out of the tub, wrapping a fluffy towel around your shoulders. He drained the tub as you worked on toweling off, he followed suit once he was finished with the tub.

  Now dry, Lucifer returned to tending to your wounds. Applying ointments and bandages, then gently wrapping your ankle. He let out a yawn, and laughed lightly at himself. “Time for bed it seems.” You nodded, giving a yawn yourself. You shimmy under the covers, Lucifer laid himself next to you and wrapped his arms around you. “Good night lamb, sweet dreams.” He kissed you once more, before you both drifted off to sleep.

[jae-daddy]

Blind

jaebum!dickhead 

masterlist

pairing: jaebum x reader genre: angst plot: you overhear your boyfriend Jaebum and his friends talking rudely about you.  a/n: this was written a long time ago lol. I thought I’d post it instead of deleting it. not edited. hope y’all like it

“Dude, I can’t believe she followed you here,” you heard Yugyeom, as you neared the pool table the boys were surrounding.

Your eyes easily found Jaebum, as he leaned forward to take a shot. His black leather jacket stretching over his broad shoulders, his hair styled in a perfectly messy way. Even with his back towards you, you still felt butterflies flutter in your tummy as you thought of the way he looked tonight.

You thought back to the car ride. His hand on your thigh, inching higher until it slipped under your short skirt. He loved it when you wore short skirts and tight tops. It drove him crazy, he could never keep his hands off you. 

Just as he had struggled to keep himself from parking his car at some random place and fuck you before you reached the party. You remember his throaty growl as he ripped his hand away from tracing your panty and to the steering wheel. 

His jaw tight as his clenched the wheel, his knuckles turning white. 

“I won’t be able to stop if I start baby,” he looked over at you, his eyes dark and filled with promise. You wanted him to do it, you didn’t care about this party. 

But Jaebum did. 

It was his friend’s party, and as a part of the popular kids troupe, he needed to show up. 

“She didn’t follow him, she just misunderstood,” Youngjae clarified, his voice teasing. “Right, Jaebum?”

You stopped in your tracks, feeling your stomach drop.

“You really need to learn to draw boundaries with her bro,” Jackson told Jaebum as he missed a shot. You saw Jaebum grimace at the missed shot, before looking up to meet Jackson’s eyes. When he didn’t say anything, Jackson sighed, “She can’t keep following you-”

“Y/n is not following me,” Jaebum cut him off. You let go of the breath you were holding in, the tight line your lips were drawn into relaxed slightly.

“Was she invited?” Nate asked, shooting Jaebum a knowing smirk.

“No,” Jaebum sighed.

“Did you invite her?”

“Well, no.”

You felt like you were about to vomit. 

“Y/n is always clinging to your side,” Nick told him, before taking a sip of his beer. “You are never free to do anything. You are always with her, it’s like y’all are in a relationship.

“If you were hitting that, then I’d support you, bro,” Yugyeom mumbled, shrugging.

“Yeah right,” Nate snorted. “like anyone would hit that.”

You watched Jaebum, waiting for him to say something, but he didn’t. He just stared at Nate, with a grimace barely noticable.

“Dude, be honest,” Nate smiled at Jaebum, “would you hit that?”

When Jaebum didn’t reply, Nate’s smile grew bigger, “Has she tried hooking up with you?”

You felt sick.

Your mind instantly went to that night when you had kissed Jaebum. The night that had started it all. You were at a party just like this, and somehow you both ended up in the same bedroom hiding away. 

You were waiting for your friend to finish hooking up and were tired to creeps so you hid the room. Jaebum stumbled in a few minutes later. 

You were scared at first, thinking it was a drunk boy. You were terrified because the music was so loud you weren’t sure if anyone would be able to hear you if you had screamed for help.

But your panic turned into interest as you saw the staggering figure straighten as they closed the door. You watched Jaebum fall onto the bed and let out an exhausted sigh. You saw him pull out his phone, dialling someone as he pinched his nose, “Hello, 911?” 

Jaebum wouldn’t let you out of his sight after he spotted you. You knew too much. You had the power to ruin his popularity. So you ended up spending the whole night with Jaebum, talking about random things. 

By the end of the night, you realised there was more to him then the superficial bad boy act he puts up. You couldn’t help yourself but kiss him before you had to leave. 

it felt like a final goodbye. You knew that after that night ended, you would never get the chance again. So you took the chance, you kissed him. 

And, he kissed you back. 

He had pulled you in, bringing you to his lap. He had stopped you two before things got too heated. And then, he snuck into your bedroom for more late night conversations. 

Jaebum had asked you to be his girlfriend a month ago. A month had passed and no one knew that you and Jaebum were together. People thought it was a unlikely pair, but it was friendship at most. 

“No way!” Yugyeom gasped, “For real? What happened?”

Jaebum just shook his head. You could see the smug smile on his face, and it hurt your heart.

Just an hour ago, he was holding back from railing you in the backseat of his car. 

You snapped out of your thoughts as you watched Jaebum move around the table. You watched his face as he spoke. 

“I told her I was coming here tonight, and she kind of just tagged along,” Jaebum sighed, ignoring the comments. He scratched the back of his head nervously, as he studied the guys staring at him. The other boys looked at him with knowing looks as they shook their heads. “I know I should’ve clarified, but I feel bad for her.”

You were actually going to be sick. You dug your nails into your palms, biting your lip tightly to stop yourself from crying in the middle of the party. You knew you should walk away, but you wanted to hear it. Even as it hurt your heart.

Even if it felt like Jaebum sunk his claws into your chest and wrenched your heart out. You wanted to hear what your boyfriend had to say about you.

There was Im Jaebum, your boy friend, standing in a group with his friends, talking about how he felt bad for you.

You felt your heart sink, and your stomach churn, as you heard him continue.

“She's been through a lot. None of her friends talk to her anymore, I can’t just tell her to buzz off,” Jaebum explained, his voice coated with desperation wanting his friends to understand, to agree with his justification. “And it’s not too bad. She’s here doing her thing, and I’m doing mine.”

“Bro,” Yugyeom gave him a dry look, snorting at Jaebum, “how can you be doing your thing when you can’t even hook up with other girls because you have to take her home?”

“I don’t need to-”

“Sara is here,” Youngjae smirked at Jaebum. You saw Jaebum freeze at her name. He had said her name a few times to you before, “She asked about you.”

“Bro!” Yugyeom gaped at Jaebum who still hadn’t found it in himself to start moving again. “Sara!”

Finally, Jaebum leaned against the table. His hands grabbing the edge, as his shoulders fell with his head as he sighed, “Fuck.”

“You could be hooking up with Sara but you’re stuck babysitting,” Youngjae laughed.

“Hey, but she looked kind of all right tonight,” Nate shrugged. “That little crop top of hers really shows those,” he held up his hands in front of him gesturing to your boobs. “I mean, I would pity fuck that. Give her the gift of knowing a good time.”

Your feet began moving backwards as you started moving away from the group. You couldn’t hear anymore. You can’t stand there and watch as your boyfriend acted like you didn’t matter to him. You can’t stand there, listen and pretend that what they said didn’t hurt you, that it didn’t hurt you that Im Jaebum might have never loved you at all. 

You bumped into someone, and you turned around apologising.

You didn’t want to hear what else they had to say. You didn’t want to see how else Jaebum would let them talk about you. You didn’t want to find out how Jaebum thought of you.

“Shit, sorry,” you whispered, your voice shaking. You lifted your gaze to find soft brown ones looking at you with sympathy. His hands gently rested on your shoulders as he steadied your stumbling feet.

“It’s okay,” Mark said, softly. He was part of their group. If he wasn’t behind you, he would probably be standing next to Jackson, laughing along with them. You didn’t want his sympathy. 

You didn’t want anything from him. 

Your eyes began burning as his eyes drifted behind to the group of boys laughing, before settling back on you.

“Are you okay?” Mark asked. You brushed his hands off your shoulders and took a step back.

You didn’t meet his eyes as you nodded, unable to speak.

You walked around him, and headed straight for the door. You didn't look back at Jaebum or stop until you were outside the house. 

Even then, you kept walking down the street, your feet picking up speed as you tried running away from the loud noises in your head.

You felt sick, you felt tired.

Your heart broke into a tiny million pieces as their words kept replying in your mind. But that’s not what broke you.

The thing that hurt you the most was Jaebum. He didn’t do anything, he didn’t say anything. He just let them, he laughed with them, he agreed with them.

You stopped when your lungs started to burn, and you couldn't go any further. 

You called for an Uber and waited on the side of the road. You stared at your phone, waiting for Jaebum to notice you were missing. 

You wanted him to text you, to call you. You wanted him worry about you, to show any proof that he did like you back. Even a silver of how much you loved him, you wanted even the slightest of his love back. 

It was all you needed to help you stay together and not fall apart. 

You stared at the screen as the Uber pulled up. You stared at it all through the ride. You didn’t look up as you thanked the driver. 

You locked the door as you entered your house. You stared at the phone, biting your lips. 

You shouldn’t send him anything. He hadn’t even noticed. 

But then, against your better judgement, you decided to send it, ‘I’m home.’

You changed and got into your bed, covering yourself with your blankets. 

You didn’t shower. You were too tired to shower. You were too tired to do anything. You were too tired to even close your eyes and pretend to go to sleep. 

You knew sleep wasn’t going to come easily tonight. Not when you kept on thinking about the smile on Jaebum’s face as he listened to his friends talk about you. Not when you remembered the way his shoulders and head slummed with defeat when he found out Sara had asked about him. 

There was no way sleep was coming easy to you when all you wanted to do was cry.

You didn’t cry though.

You tried not to cry, you tried to hold back the tears, at first. But then, you couldn’t stop them. The tears silently rolled down your face, as you lay on your side.

You felt the pillow get wet, but you ignored it as you blankly stared at the wall instead. Your hands desperately clenched the blanket, as you tried to calm yourself down, before you began uncontrollably sobbing. 

Jaebum’s reply came a few minutes later. ‘What?’

‘Are you alright?’

‘Are you sleeping?’

‘Should I come over?’

After five minutes, your phone rang.

You saw Jaebum’s name on the phone. 

Your chest ached seeing his name on the phone. You wanted to pick it up. 

But, you ignored it and turned the phone over as you slipped it under your pillow.

It rang again, and again. Three more times, before you picked it up.

“What the fuck?!” He gnarled into the phone, you could hear the wind rushing past him. It sounded like he was speeding somewhere. 

You didn’t say anything, just waited for him to continue.

“Are you okay? Why did you leave early?”

“I’m okay,” you rasped, your voice hurting your throat. “I don’t feel well. I’m going to sleep.”

“You sound horrible,” Jaebum replied softly, the panic in his voice subsiding. The softness in his voice made new tears escape down your face. You moved away from the phone and wiped your tears.“Do you want me to come over, babe?”

You hated it. 

You hated how your heart trembled when he called your baby. 

“No,” you rasped, your lower lip trembling as you held back a sob, “I just need to be alone.”

You sniffled your nose as you swallowed, your vision blurring.

Jaebum remained quiet for a moment, the wind rushing past slowing down now, “Okay, take care. Call me tomorrow, okay, babe?”

“Goodbye, Jaebum,” was all you said before ending the call.

You didn't hold it back anymore.

Your body curled into a ball, as it began shaking furiously as sobs raked through you.

Your hand clasped over your mouth as you sobbed into the dark night.

Your heart, broken and bleeding by the one boy you had trusted.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

promiscuity* chris motionless x reader

+++++++++ "Oh my God they were roommates"

Younger chris, i still have a thing for that version of him lol, think early creatures

*- casual roommate sex, woo!

Song: flatline by orla gartland

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @theoneandonlykymberlee @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou +++++++++

"will you answer something for me?"

i asked, not looking away from the movie playing in front of us.

"yeah."

he said through a tired voice. i took a drink of my coffee.

"i know we live together and all, but i feel like we arent as close as we should be. how come?"

he hummed.

"how do you mean."

i shrugged.

"like, we spend time together, like right now. which is super cool or whatever. but how come we never go do stuff? like you never ask me if i wanna go hang out somewhere, but i ask you all the time. even though you never accept."

he shrugged back.

"i dont know, i guess i just never thought about it. i dont exactly get out much so there isnt a place for me to invite you to."

i frowned.

"not even to like the store? we do share a fridge and cabinets and a house after all."

he shrugged again.

"you always make a list, its not exactly hard to follow."

i sighed.

"i guess youre right."

he took a drink of his own coffee.

"whats got you thinking about this anyway?"

he rested his hand against his stomach, sinking further into the couch. i glanced over him for a second.

"how would you feel if i brought someone over?"

i asked and he finally looked at me. i guess there was the answer i was looking for.

"like another friend?"

he asked and i side nodded.

"or like a romantic partner."

he cleared his throat, readjusting in his seat.

"oh, uh, its whatever i guess. just dont do it in front of me or anything."

he said through a nervous laugh and i could see the tension running through his body.

"chris?"

he took another drink before answering.

"yeah."

i smirked to myself.

"do you dig me like that?"

his head shot in my direction, eyes wide.

"what? no. what do you mean?"

he said quickly and i couldnt help but laugh. i turned to face him, full body this time, setting my coffee on the table in front of us.

"i can see it on your face. you dont want me to get with anyone else."

he pulled at his shirt collar like he needed air before setting his own cup on the coffee table.

"why would you say that?"

he said nervously. i leaned forward and poked his cheek.

"youre face wouldnt be that red if you didnt."

he sent me a testing look.

"my face is not red."

i poked him again.

"yes it is! you are blushing!"

he shook his head.

"yeah cause youre making me uncomfortable. it just does that."

i sent him a look.

"oh come on chrissy, just admit it. youve thought about banging me before."

i tried, egging him on. he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

"no."

he said nonchalantly. i pouted.

"why not? ive thought about doing it with you."

i confessed and his eyes got as big as saucers.

"you have?"

he said, disbelieving and i nodded my head quickly.

"yeah, dont you wanna know what its like?"

he thought for a second before letting his arms drop.

"yeah i guess so, i mean ive only done it with a few people. like seriously, i could count on one hand-"

"i get it."

i interrupted. i stared over him for a second.

"okay, take your shirt off."

he raised a brow.

"what?"

i motioned to him before moving to kneel on the couch.

"take your shirt off, we're doing this. i wanna know what youre like in bed."

i said in a stern tone. he just stared at me.

"wait, for real?"

he asked and i nodded.

"yes, take your shirt off."

i said sternly and he jumped a little.

"okay, i guess we're doing this."

he said, moving to do as told.

"just, take it easy okay?"

he asked and i nodded, watching him as he tossed his shirt and jacket to the floor.

"how do you want me? top? bottom? behind?"

i sent him a knowing look before letting out a short laugh.

"bottom, for sure. youve only done this a handful of times remember? im gonna give you a whole new experience."

he smiled at me, swinging his legs up onto the couch between us.

"okay, as you wish."

he said as i moved to crawl over him.

"we'll start slow."

i said and he nodded, watching me intently as i inched closer to his face. i ran my pointer finger gently over his jaw, watching him shiver as i looked into his eyes.

"such a pretty thing."

i said lowly before capturing his lips in mine. he kissed me back needily, his hand moving to the back of my head. as we began making out i trailed my finger tips lightly across his chest and stomach, moving to palm him through his jeans. he moaned into my mouth before i pulled away, beginning to kiss along his jaw and neck.

"do you like that?"

i whispered against his ear before planting a soft kiss behind it. he nodded slowly and i watched as he closed his eyes, melting into my touch. i could feel his jeans getting tighter against my hand and smirked as I kissed down his chest, stopping just below his bellybutton and biting lightly as he laid back.

"Hey!"

He said in defense, looking down at me and making me laugh a little to myself.

"What?"

I asked innocently, getting comfy between his legs. he sent me a look.

"Leave my stomach alone."

I smirked at him before rolling my eyes playfully.

"Why? It's cute."

I said, kissing the spot I had just bitten. I could see a blush creeping its way back to his face.

"It is not cute."

He protested and I sent him a testing look.

"It is too now shut up and let me take your pants off."

I said, making him laugh.

"Fine, just don't laugh."

I started on his belt buckle, looking to his face quickly.

"I'm not gonna laugh at you Chris."

I confirmed, my hand grazing the tent straining against his jeans.

"Promise?"

I sent him a small smile before leaning down and kissing his bulge, moving to unzip his pants.

"I promise."

I said lowly, pulling at his waistband. I pulled his pants down slowly, his erection popping free. My eyes went wide, a sound I'd never made before coming from deep in my throat.

"What's wrong?"

He asked, a little skeptical and I shook my head.

"Absolutely nothing."

I confirmed before crawling back up him and kissing him deeply. He sighed into my mouth as I trailed my hand slowly down his torso, feeling one of his hands tracing circles into my arm and the other holding my head in place. As we made out again I began stroking him slowly, hearing low moans emerge from his throat. When I pulled away he still had his eyes closed and was breathing deeply.

"Can I ride you?"

I asked to confirm, kissing slowly across his jaw and be nodded.

"If it feels this good you can do whatever you want to me."

He breathed out and I smirked against him as I got further down his neck.

"Sounds like a plan."

I said lowly, sitting up and tossing my top to the ground. He barely opened his eyes and offered me a small smile. I knelt on either side of him, pushing my pants down a bit before standing on the couch and pulling them down completely. I heard his breathing hitch as he stared up at me, watching my every move intently as I pushed my panties down, slipping them off and dropping them onto his chest. I heard him groan as I fell slowly back down onto my knees, one leg on either side of him.

"Are you still okay with this?"

I asked, moving to kiss him again, watching him nod his head quickly.

"God yes."

He said as I pulled away. I smiled down at him before reaching over to the coffee table and pulling a condom out of the drawer. He sent me a weird look before dropping my panties to the floor.

"How long have those been there?"

He asked and I shrugged.

"I don't know I had them left over from that house party I went to like a month ago."

He laughed a little as I scooted down into his lap.

"Evidently I need to check that drawer more often."

He said and I sent him a playful wink.

"Guess so."

I said, raising my brows quickly. I ripped the condom open quickly, pushing the tip out and spitting into it. He drew his brows at me before watching me roll it into him. I sent him a smirk.

"You ready?"

I asked, lining myself up with him. He nodded again.

"Give it to me."

He said deeply, his hands going to my hips. I sank down onto him, hearing him moan quietly. I couldn't help smiling to myself as I sat up and pushed back down onto him, watching his mouth open slightly. His eyes were half closed but still trained on me as I started working against him, getting a good rhythm.

"Can I touch you?"

He asked a little bashfully and I nodded, leaning over him.

"Touch me all over."

I said lowly, looking over his face. I felt his hands slide slowly up my side, leaving little goosebumps in their wake. I kissed him endearingly as his hands got to my boobs, moaning into his mouth as he kneaded them in his palms. When our mouths detached I grabbed his one hand and intertwined our fingers against my chest.

"Try this."

I said, moving his other hand and running my thumb over my nipple. I hummed at the feeling, closing my eyes as he copied the action. I nodded, a smile forming on my face as I felt him sit up and lick a stripe over my nipple.

"Yeah, like that."

I said, my hand going to the back of his head as he took my nipple into his mouth, taking it gently between his teeth. I moaned loudly, letting go of his other hand and moving it to the couch to steady myself. He wrapped his free hand around my body, placing it firmly against my back. Then he detached his mouth and I inhaled sharply.

"I'm close."

He breathed out, falling back into the couch. I nodded, reaching down between us and circling my clit. My mouth dropped as he reached up and pinched my nipples again.

"Oh fuck."

I moaned out.

"I think I'm close too."

I said, moving my hips against him in a circular motion.

"God I'm gonna cum."

He said, digging his head into the couch. I felt him twitch in me before he moaned loudly, his hands stopping and his entire body tensing up. I kept moving though, watching his chest rise and fall.

"Oh my God."

He said a little dazed and I froze, pushing my finger against my clit and my entire body shaking on top of him. I let out a long whiney moan, dropping my head back as I came around him.

"Oh."

I moaned out, falling forward and catching myself against his chest. everything was little blurry for a second but when he came back into focus We both looked at each other and nervous laughed.

"Thanks for that."

I said a little breathless and he smiled at me. I could feel him starting to go soft in me.

"No, thank you."

He said as I sat up straight again. I pulled up and off of him, inhaling deeply at the lack of contact. I brought my one leg in before falling next to him against the back of the couch, still breathing pretty deeply. I placed my hand gently against his chest, feeling his heart pounding against his rib cage.

"Sounds like I did a good job."

I said, looking up at him with a cheesy grin on my face. He looked down at me and smiled, wrapping his arms around me and turning to face me, kissing me quickly.

"Oh you absolutely did."