#so i don’t hafta think abt it any more lmao

[khonshuscondemned]

HELP. rewatching ep 3 and. was reminded of this post . and there was a bit of going off that happened in the tags but they felt unfinished so now we’re diving in all over again.

so the part latched onto (this time) happens before khonshu tells marc to take the kid to the ledge- when Marc wakes up after having stabbed Goon #1 & #2 is already down for the count and turns and sees The Kid (Goon #3) and he . he has his little panicked moment (‘…wh-what..? -oh my god- oh, god- steven, what did you do??’) and steven tells him to sod off it wasn’t him (really, marc- you’re covered in someone else’s blood and you immediately think it’s steven who had anything to do with your little blackout??) - and then The Kid/Goon #3 groans, and he groans loud- too loudly to be ignored and it’s Back To The Grind. Marc puts his Khonshu hat back on , he turns around. His hand is clenched around the knife’s handle. his eyes are narrowed and his brows are drawn- he’s readying for the next fight.

And then he sees it’s The Kid. he sees the kid as a kid. not as Goon #3. suddenly the khonshu hat is almost flung free of his head- you can see it in Marc’s eyes, in the way his movements slow, in the way he recalibrates, the way he reevaluates his options bc . he doesn’t wanna hurt a kid. hell, tbh i don’t think marc wants to hurt anyone , anymore, i think he’s tired of the blood. (u really get a sense of Marc’s hesitation via the gifs in the ref’d post , it’s heartbreaking. but gratitude for gif-makers bc over-analysis of character expressions is a fond pastime while we wait for season 2 rip)

(also uh quick aside: khonshu says this line, something like ‘I know you enjoy the work I have for you’. this .. never sat right. maybe before- … maybe. but this marc spector? he doesn’t seem to enjoy this very much at all. not like, the way I think he enjoys existing with layla, or the way one would enjoy a picnic or catching sight of a wishing star or little things like that . but then again, i don’t think marc spector quite knows how to enjoy little things just yet- im not quite sure he understands that not everything comes with a price, and certainly not true joy. that kind of happiness can come free if you know where to look. ok tangent over)

Back to the scene, it’s about 9 mins in- Marc turns, sees it’s the kid. and he drops the fucking knife.

there have been a few in-depth watches of this scene before bc we had been curious as to the way Marc uses weapons (hint: he fucking doesn’t this man uses his fists and that’s it in this particular scene at least). not sure why we glossed over this bit or why it hits hard(er?) now, but. no wonder jake took over, of course jake would leave the kid alive- he does it for more reasons than we can count but for sure we know he keeps the kid alive cos he knows it would kill Marc to have blood of that sort join the stains in their bathroom sink ya know?

It’s just, ironic that Marc still. ends up with that kids death on his hands . that Marc. cant be trusted sometimes, not with hands Jake Lockley is more accustomed to. tsk. anyways - TLDR marc is tired of the bloodshed, jake has to take over and fill in a lot more now than perhaps ever before (and it’s not going unnoticed anymore) bc of it, and now Steven’s gotten mixed up in the mess and it’s. it’s killing me all over again . bc marc does literally everything he can to like. not hurt this kid. and he still ends up with three dead goons anyways. sigh.