#I finally found people to play with
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Guys i love dnd
It’s so fun
#I finally found people to play with#I’m having so much fun#I literally am so excited i can’t sleep after sessions#like I’m so tired#i woke up so early and we played for eight hours and then chatted for three more#and I’m so tired but so wired#i literally can’t sleep#I’m planning for next week and the stuff to work out in the meantime#it’s crazy
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode
#house md#prince's talk tag#flashing#repitition#so as i was watching this show i noticed they'd say the episode title in the episode#so i wanted to see how many times they did it#the people on livejournal who made transcripts of the episodes are my saviors and without them this would of been so much harder to do#thank you all for your service and i hope wherever you all are you're having a great day#sometimes they would use a variation of the word like in the episode poison they would say 'poisoned' or 'poisoning'#i did not include those instances#there was an instance in 'merry little christmas' where they do play the song in the show#but since ella fitzgerald was not a character in the show i did not include it#where as in the episode 'joy to the world' the students are singing it in the concert so i did include that#i apologize for the tonal whiplash when you get to that part but it did make me laugh#one of the times kutner says 'locked in' is overshadowed by the POTW's voice over but i assure you he says it and thats why its in there#out of the main characters from the one who said the title the most to least are#House > Foreman > Wilson > Chase > Cuddy > Adams > Cameron and Taub > Kutner > Thirteen and Park#this took a bit to do lolol its probably been done already but i wanted my own#there is a chance im missing some on technicalities but idc. im fine with this#there are two more i wanna do but with a character saying another character's name but ill do that some other time#EDIT: When I was making this video I was unaware that the Pilot episode went by two names: 'Pilot' and 'Everybody Lies'#Basically everywhere I looked the first episode was only referred to by 'Pilot'#which I found weird bc i remember seeing somewhere that the last episode was paired with the first episode in terms of title#but i couldn't find hard proof so I decided to leave it out at the time#well i checked again last night and yea the pilot IS also called Everybody Lies so I updated the video#I also think it goes well with the fact that House does say 'Everybody Dies' in the finale so another reason to fix it#AND he says it without Wilson while he and Wilson say the title of the pilot sooooo yea hehehehehe
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Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.
I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.
This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.
The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.
It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…
The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.
#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea#tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head#she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her#outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake#his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they#won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it#it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance#these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it#and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs#likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died#but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts#two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy#Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever#I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke#like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons#like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows#and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like#the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions#against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits
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even though i know the leverage team gets back together as soon as season 2 starts and we barely see any time of them being apart, it makes me unreasonably upset that they not only spent six months apart, but that they didn't know they'd all join back up eventually!! like wdym hardison spent months trying and failing to track down parker?? wdym parker gained a family and then spent half a year alone again?? wdym eliot had found a way to do some good or have some kind of purpose until it was suddenly over?? wdym nate & sophie had finally caught up with each other but came to realize that neither of them were in a place to have that relationship and spent months not knowing if that had been their last chance??
#leverage#leverageposting#especially parker and hardison. i get sad thinking about how she had adapted to maybe finally having people and then it was over#only for 6mo but as far as she knew it was probably forever#and then for hardison like. trying to track her down and failing. desperately trying to figure out how to find her. wondering if shes upset#that he hasnt contacted her. but also wondering if maybe she doesnt want to be found. maybe shes over him? maybe shes gone.#sophie at least evidently spent some of that time devising a way to get the team back together (and putting on a play)#the fact sophie managed to get an invite to parker while hardison couldnt find her is funny tho. i imagine soph had a different strategy.#trying to track her down means always being a step behind. id like to think soph instead predicted where parker *would* be.#wherever the shiniest thing to steal is. or that she set up a whole grift to both steal from a museum herself but also to entice parker to#steal from the museum and find a note hidden in the back of the most theft-worthy painting etc. idk.#but anyway hardison also looked so sad in the stork job when they briefly thought parker had run off ('trust me she is gone' 'whos gone?')#so actually losing her for 6mo + assuming it was probably forever is SO SAD#and parker not having her 'more than a team' team OW OUCH IM IN PAIN
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I can't stop thinking about Blade saying gifts are unfamiliar.
And I can't stop thinking about Kafka and Silver Wolf, hearing that, and making it a mission to bring him gifts whenever they travel somewhere for their script - even if he's there with them. About the confusion in his eyes when they steal buy something and turn right around to hand it to him.
About his room starting out completely empty except for the bare minimum necessities, a few spare clothes and what he needs to take care his Shard Sword, but filling up with little trinkets and gifts over time. Clothes and jewelry and perfume from Kafka and posters, figures and plushies from Silver Wolf. About them also bringing food back, expensive specialties swiped from a restaurant and the weirdest option they could spot in a lone vending machine, a category of gifts that doesn't leave anything behind (except the photos they both take of the three of them eating together, or of the faces he makes when Silver Wolf manages to trick him into trying a suspicious snack while he's distracted with polishing his weapon).
About Kafka spending hours finding clothes and jewelry she thinks would suit him, because that's her love language. She gets him makeup too, refusing to let his good looks go to waste. She knows he can't put it on himself, they both do, and he doesn't care for his appearance enough otherwise - but he'll let her do his makeup for him anyway, because she enjoys it, and because he finds it soothing.
About Silver Wolf also buying him clothes, but the ones she gets aren't his style at all, and just barely his size. She gets them for him, but just so she can steal them right back - her love language is quality time, and she fills Blade's room with gifts she can borrow along with a moment of his day. It still counts as a gift, she insists, practically swimming in an oversized jacket she swiped from his closet.
About how in another life, Yingxing gave gifts to the people he loved and in this one, Blade receives them from those who love him.
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr blade#hsr kafka#hsr silver wolf#lads. lasses. i care them and i have an agenda to spread.#stellaron hunters#one day i'll have a better tag or will i#i still don't have a great one for my trailblazers ot3#why is coming up with tags so difficult?#anyway#woe sap be upon ye#fresh from my dms with fero and a little more polished#ray's records#i think getting the people she loves all prettied up is kafka's love language#she has an eye for what would suit them and she likes to indulge her fantasies#silver wolf isn't safe from it and doesn't mind it so sometimes when the time is right kafka will make all three of them match#identical pieces of jewelry they each wear on a necklace a ring or an earring#coordinated colors found in each of their outfits#and after silver wolf's line about how blade promised to game with her i think that's how she shows her love#spending time with the people she cares about#filling blade's closet with jackets so she can wander into his room to snag one#and take the opportunity to sit next to him and play a game for a while#it's the next best thing until she can smack a controller in his hands and finally get him to play a fighting game together#man i do love them so much#kafbladewolf
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life comes at you so fast
#tw personal#tw death#tw cancer#not my usual silly goofy post but it’s hard to remain that way when there’s a lot weighing on your mind#cancer sucks#and it’s unfair how quickly it can take people from us#one moment they seem fine and the next they’re in the icu with a week left to live#he passed two nights ago#i wasn’t planning to post about it but i have the tendency to disassociate from my grief#so here i am instead of wherever the hell!#it’s heartbreaking because he and his wife weren’t just my mum’s bosses - they were long-time friends#i have clear childhood memories of playing at their house with their son#his youngest child is only 3 years old#as soon as he found out he started giving his final messages to his staff#obviously nobody wants to die in that situation#but you could feel how much he *wanted to live*#when i was told about his death it was in the morning and it didn’t feel real#every time i had seen him in the last year he always had a smile on his face#it’s always been hard for me to deal with the prospect of death#and understand how fragile life is#how REAL mortality is#it hits even harder when it happens to someone who was so FULL of life#sighs#life comes at you fast#sometimes in all directions and in every possible and testing way imaginable#i’ve been trying to write and feel any sense of normalcy this evening but for a multitude of reasons i have a sinking feeling in my stomach#sometimes when i’m upset i try recycle the feeling into excitement or happiness over something else#yeah … i can’t really do that tonight#apologies if my energy is bleh. hold your loved ones close. now i return you to my regular scheduled programming
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My controversial jjk take is that mahito should've remained the main threat/antagonist throughout the whole thing
#the thing with sukuna was that despite all his efforts to be a curse he was ultimately deeply human#and as powerful of a threat as he was that fact would never go away (which is why his ending was a sort of second chance/redemption)#same with kenjaku to an extent#kenjaku finally found someone to keep them entertained for a long. long time and not abandon them like tengen.#their reason to change was also deeply human they were very starved for company/connection in a way that most mortal humans couldn't provide#meanwhile mahito wants none of that#mahito's entire existence is an antithesis to every positive human emotion he literally is the only lasting permanent scars on yuuji#I feel like gege fumbled the human/curse dichotomy in the story the moment it became about people vs people#bc the story became way more focused on individual good and bad apples as apposed to the whole that it started out being about#I feel like gege bringing mahito back for the final conversation was him acknowledging this#gege could've still had gojo die by sukuna's hand and have the whole shinjuku showdown play out#but then it could've continued to be about the curses the story started out wamting to eradicate#sukuna was never the 'sole' only problem in the world he was merely an example of what this system makes#I feel like gege just gave up on those bigger picture themes for the purpose of shallower but character focused conclusions#which doesn't work for me at all tbh#the people who inherited the sorcery world might not be as bad as the original higher ups but they are NOT good#this is better but only just barely#jjk spoilers#jjk 271#idk i'm rambling
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I think it would be rly sick if you went to go build a crow rook and the surname was Arainai
like…. just another little compradi trying to bring glory back to your house - rinnala and taliesin are dead by the house’s hand, zevran failed and deserted, guili murdered in the night, all semblance of power lost once again. the house is trying to claw its way back up, futile as it seems. that’s the way of house arainai, isn’t it? talon to knife to talon to knife to nothing, same as it’s been since the house first lost power in the early dragon age. but you, bright-eyed little crow, you’ll break the cycle, won’t you? for the family?
after all, caterina’s prized heir is right there - the demon of vyrantium, the infamous mage killer, sleeping just down the hall. you can be quiet, can’t you? all those means at your disposal, and all the opportunities you could want. you could find a way in under that armor, get to something soft and bruisable and make it bleed. he’s far from home, isn’t he? without a friend? confidantes are few and far between - even a demon must get lonely.
maybe he’d even trust you. you’re a clever little bird, right? you can find something to exploit. after all, what does a would-be talon do except claw, except maim? what else would you be good for? there is no gentleness to crows - you are here to deliver a message: run, little demon, quick as you like.
house arainai will make carrion of you yet.
#there is no world in which I think this would happen BUT I think it would be fun#house arainai doesn’t even have beef like this I’m just making it up for sport#just a cute little assassination attempt to enemies to lovers arc for the nerves#I also 1) don’t imagine caterina is dead (but maybe over the course of the game) and 2) I think other succession plans would be followed#but what if someone put a contract out for Lucanis and he realizes that caterina was the one who would’ve had to approve it?#and there’s any number of people who would call in a contract like that in exchange for power#but what is gained in taking one man out from a line of succession? who benefits from his death enough to pay for it?#and then he realizes (whether it’s true or not) that the person who stands to gain the most with such a contract#is illario (who would finally be clear in his path to first talon)?? what then???#ohohoho they didn’t tell me what betrayal Lucanis is coming back from so in my mind I am giving him them all#I know the betrayal will (presumably) be related to the [redacted] thing but I am inventing new problems for fun#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: tevinter nights#lucanis dellamorte#also I wrote this as a little brainworm treat but now I’m like ‘am I……… playing a crow rook??’#(not until I finish my beloved depressed orlesian girlboss warden rook#but maybe someday)#idk man my brain is so rotted from rotating this game and this character around in my mind like a gas station hot dog#went directly from ‘I should write a baseless and unfounded account of this guy whackin’ it’ to ‘and also I want to end his bloodline’#the blorbo dichotomy………….#also ALSO I think it would be even funnier if every faction had to kill their double#mourn watch rook smothering peepaw with a pillow for the grave crime of uhhhhh kidnapping manfred from the necropolis#SOMEONE PUT THAT OLD MAN DOWN HE’S TEACHING THE SKELETON THE FOUND FAMILY TROPE#da thoughts
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so theres these 2 zombie apocalypse daughters and im a disappointed parent who plays favorites
#twdg replay got me feeling Feelings....then i remember i have Another zombie daughter i neglect these days >.>#this is not me pitting 2 bad bitches against each other im just thinking abt ellie and her poor life choices lol#clem got Everything ellie threw away : ) fool#ellie im so sorry its not your fault#sometimes i remember how important ellie and tlou were to me before ......#anyway :) *thunder stops clouds part sun shining birds chirping*#clem is happy at her forever home with her found family and baby boy and co leader girlfriend :) peace and love on planet earth :)#clem does Not get the appreciation she deserves and i stand by that. clementine you will Always be famous. the original. the blueprint.#CLEM I LOVE U BBY GIRL i will give u ur flowers forever#all wlw who stopped playing twdg before s4 go play s4 right now i am no longer asking#the amount of people who havent played s4...wat r u doin....its the final season...pains me#anyway back to my brain hell :) guess i'll just sit here by myself#thats ok :) my house now#it speaks#twdg#tlou
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i am freeeeeeeee [collapses into a pile of dust]
#the last hour went okay bc we were just playing a card game and doing gifts/cards phew#also i found out theyre celebrating my bday on... august 25th? hewwo?? they didn't tell me until now 😭😭#my sister will be back at uni in sept and my parents are leaving on a trip the first day of sept so i'll be alone again for it fsdjkl#which. mixed feelings about that. i won't have to be afraid of them interacting w me but also :'( a little sad to be home alone for it#for the third year in a row fsjdkl#OH WELL. i should just be grateful tbh fdsjkl#the one thing i'm very sad about though is i can't go upstairs anymore bc the new security system has motion detectors#last year i watched jerma on the TV up there and sat on the comfy chairs... it was so fun fdsjkl. can't do that this year though AUGH#alas!!! i will somehow make it fun anyways maybe i will just ask if i can use the oven so i can make myself a cake again this year#SORRY FOR PERSONAL POSTING SO MUCH TONIGHT BTW. its been rough this evening fsdjkl but im going to go draw now :3#dandy.cmd#vent //#ALSO CONGRATS TO ME FOR BEING RLY QUIET AND AGREEABLE AND NOT ADDING ANYTHING NEW TO CONVOS HURRAY#finally i have gone back to highschool me thank GOD i've gotten too comfortable having opinions around them since i graduated fdsjkl#being around people (in the workplace and going to a counselor) who treat you like a Real Human Person will do that! wow!#abuse cw
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Guys I’m dming my first ever dnd session tonight!!!
I am so nervous that I didn’t prepare well enough or balance the encounters right so I don’t know how it’s going to go but I’m really excited about it
#it’s a complete home brew world too so I don’t even have like a book to fall back on#I have been working on the setting for like months but I just started prepping the campaign a few weeks ago when I finally found people#who wanted to play#it’s called The Woode#and it will become my whole personality for severa months just a heads up#The Woode dnd#homebrew#dnd homebrew#dnd 5e#dnd 5e campaign
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Nana I am still to this day trying to understand your Kuon love pls😭😂
He is so baby :((((
I know he made mistakes (MAJOR ONES) but then again based on his past & the fact that in the end he pulled through & tried to make things right -> I have a big soft spot for people actually taking responsibility when they fucked up
#you get one more chance & that’s it obviously#but I feel like this is something that will haunt him forever#that he finally found people to play soccer with that were just as passionate as him#& he fucked it all up#& that’s another thing that I find perfect for selfships#also he has long-ish fluffy wavy hair - what did you expect?#also the moment I truly started liking urahara was when he bowed down in front of ichigo to apologize for#putting them in danger in season 1 -> again people taking responsibility when they fuck up IS SUCH A MATURE AND SEXY THING#letters to nana 💌#bakugous-forehead.ask#Kuon <3
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Jimmy may have a bad memory but he is a CLEVER and hardworking boy
who pays very close attention to how other youtubers do things, and takes notes, and works so hard, and now he has 810k subscribers because he knows how to do it.
(well, sometimes clever and always hardworking)
context:
If anyone wants my spreadsheet just lmk. my data mostly came from the youtube wiki and MaxData's visualization of new life smp members' subs numbers. oh, i'll include that!
Jimmy was at 609k when new life started in may 27. he made a (lovely!) pink house.
Twenty one days later he's gained 201,000 subs.
Between cpk and pix now probably, having jumped ahead of oli & pearl.
Y'all when people talk about jimmy being dumb, watch and think how much is an atrocious memory, and how long is not being quick to understand things. If he settles in and works at it! If he's in a group event in mcc and not individual! If he has a strong team captain in mcc who he can listen to! (he's said the last one is how he succeeds).
Jimmy can fucking do it, just in his own way - and he doesn't care to put a lot of effort into learning some things that some viewers want. As I barely care about minecraft, I do have an interesting perspective here! <3
Jimmy can't just get by on his minecraft skills plus his winning smile, comedic timing, charisma, and skill at social rapport and interpersonal... okay I've made it sound like a lot but he has some brains. Those brains just don't know the recipe for... things I also don't care about.
Jimmy Solidarity. You appreciate him. Good.
#late night jimmy rantings#came back to edit tags#cause it's easy confidence#and his humility#how much he appreciates every one who has ever helped him and he will say over and over how lucky he was with who he found#his lack of real ego#his willingness to fail! in public! and just laugh it off and be mildly self deprecating#unlike the 'are you okay i promise you're smart please it's okay' self deprecating i've been seeing in one CC i finally started watching#he works with other people easily#and skizz says he makes space for other people right?#he works hard cause he can't just rely on being an amazing builder or redstoner or whatever who people will just come back for#he's a professional silly boy who loves to play the fool#please people please understand he is the one running these jokes#go listen to his *acting* as he's saying don't call me ken while he's making these shorts#i think one problems with 'internet people flip out about jimmy's relationships with his close friends based on what they see online'#is that many people don't understand how well he can act?#jimmy can make untrue things look genuine through acting#he said once - when asked - that if he couldn't do this he'd love to be a voice actor#solidaritygaming#solidarity gaming#new life smp#jimmy solidarity#nlsmp
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I finally beat Shadow of the Erdtree's final boss.... it was hard but going slowly day by day helped learn most of the patterns (and survive the ones I still didn't get completely) ;;;;;;;; TIS DONE
#I have.... thoughts about it from a narrative standpoint but I think I need to rummage them a lil' before speaking#from a gameplay standpoint : I didn't like him as much as Gael or Malenia but it was very impressive visually#AND not that bullshit of a boss (except two (2) attacks where I'd like to speak with fromsoft lmao)#Gael remains unmatched in terms of “oh shit that boss is so cool and so fair” to me but hey#SotE's last boss had some visual theme callbacks from other fromsofts that I appreciated too hehe#anyways Imma go try to help some people now kmfjdgh#also I love the rakshasa armor so much omg it's PERFECT for Anma#i struggle with how much more squishy it makes you but the thematics of it ? perfect for her#yeah she's savage yeah she'll do more damage to tear you appart even if it costs her#she's probably be more skilled than how I play her anyway lmao#anyways rly glad I finally found an armor that I rly like for her hehe#both visually and thematically#chef kiss#elden ring#sote#elden ring sote#shadow of the erdtree#beary games#beary talk
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when you go to Karlach after killing Cazador and turning down the ritual and she says she knows he'd hate it if she told him but she's so proud of Astarion
and if you play Astarion's origin after doing the above when you talk to Karlach and she literally says I know you're going to hate this but I'm so proud of you
she loves him so much I want to cry daily
#bg3 spoilers //#connor plays bg3#I finally found a video of the Astarion origin version of that quest I was shocked so few people were interested in it on youtube??#I do miss his voiced lines in that scene but Karlach telling him to his face how proud she is of how much he's grown is just. so much
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