#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now
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territorial-utopia · 5 months ago
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
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campgender · 9 months ago
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from “Meet Me Tonight” by Maggie Cee in Because the Boss Belongs to Us: Queer Femmes on Bruce Springsteen (March 2011). available on the Queer Zine Archive Project (link)
image description: pages 13 & 14 of a zine with a black and white map as the background. squares of text pasted over the map read:
[
] show at the Garden. We meet at some awful sports bar across from North Station, me, Dad, and the guy with tickets, who is also named Mike. I never have to sit in my nosebleed seat because Dad, who somehow in this loud arena is charming and confident, finds an empty seat near his on the bottom tier.
The bar is packed and playing nonstop Springsteen. The men look like rougher, hipper versions of Dad, but the women, with their highlights and shiny lace camis under leatherjackets, look nothing like my mother, who favors polar fleece and cotton. It is the whitest, straightest crowd I've been part of in a long time.
Tell me, little girl, is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone? Tell me, baby, Is he good to you, can he do to you the things that I do? the speakers blare.
Stumbling for conversation, I mention that my roommate has a recording of a lesbian punk band coverlng "I'm On Fire." And that's when it happens, the one and only time my father has uttered the word "butch" in my presence. "That's a creepy song. And it would be even creepier in a butch version." l have no way to respond, no language that is remotely appropriate that I could use to deflect the idea that butch is creepy, no way to tell my Irish Catholic father that a song that may be about prostitution or incest or plain old "creepiness" also echoes my deepest fantasies.
The boundaries we keep with our parents are there for a reason. But I have no trouble telling you that I want to be the girl you wake up thinking about, the girl who can cool your desires.
Sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my soul At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the middle of my head.
We inherit, we long to escape, we get out, because we have to, dreaming is not enough. And we create our sexuality out of refracted reflections and bits of longing. It’s a long ride from this queer co-op apartment to Atlantic City, but hang on, baby, I'll meet you there.
end image description.
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thewollfgang · 1 year ago
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I have almost reached the middle of the sketchbook I'm using exclusively for Astarion. A lot of pages are just down right embarrassingly bad and I'm still trying to find the right style (I'm leaning more towards realistic(?), at least on paper, I think). Weirdly enough, I haven't done much digitally despite the frustration I feel when I try reaching for an undo button on my sketchbook. XD I'll be focusing on digital next though so I can color without worrying that doing so would ruin the drawing.
It's been raining (finally) nonstop for a few days now and it's put me in a very artistic mood. Nothing like sketching and hearing real rain instead of the recordings they use as the background noise in the scary story comps I listen to. I would love to sit on my porch with my sketchbook if I wasn't afraid of getting sick again. The aesthetic isn't worth it lol.
Game wise, I have robbed almost everyone in the tower, just because, and have done the trials in the gauntlet. The most frustrating was the Faith Leap Trial, especially when I realized the answer was right there on the floor. I got hella spooked when I thought it wasn't going to give me a choice on whether I wanted to go to Shadowfell or not after I accidently clicked on the portal. I'd like to think I'm not missing anything but I will do my usual wandering before entering, just in case.
there is something truly awful at the way tumblr formats asks so i read this message yesterday but had to wait till I got on my computer to format a proper response.
Every time you mention drawing Astarion I go and make a few drawings myself. I got a new phone with a little stylus thingy and I really adore the way the notes app handles the digital pencil too. It feels really authentic but I can still hit the undo button XD so we are in a similar boat! Astarion has one of those faces that I feel like I have to draw a few dozen times to get the hang of, plus i get annoyed with his hair and how swoopy it is so i just doodle a bunch of squiggles and call it good.
I've been sick the last few days so I haven't done much besides lay around and drink lots of Sprite and Gatorade. God bless antibiotics for real. I have been playing bg3, but not on my main game, but on two other multiplayer games I have with my friends. It's interesting to play different versions of Act 1 and make different choices. (Somehow, I'm romancing Astarion in all three????) I cheated just a little with the Leap of Faith trial cause you can hit the O key and put yourself in tactical mode and see the path XD cheap, I know, but I aint bovvered.
In my main game I am still overwhelmed with Act 3, but I managed to get a few things done, but STILL have not found Orin in her other disguises, but I did find a bunch of very sus toys in a creepy dude's basement. So there's that. I think the desire to explore everything is a detriment to me in this Act since it's simply so large and there's so much to do. I need to take it in little chunks and small quests at a time. I'll get there! .......Eventually!
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fellthemarvelous · 1 year ago
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Yes! I actually came up with the theory while I was high, but I'm all for jumping in with ideas that sound completely unhinged.
I think the record shop is so full of clues though. From the songs playing in the background to the covers of the LPs to the comic art on the walls to all the copies of the "Every Day" single.
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I brought these up and no one is talking about them either.
I feel like the record shop is so much more important than we've been led to believe based on the fact that no one visits it at all, other than Aziraphale, but it's where key elements of the story are set up.
I have many more unhinged season two theories that I keep to myself, but this show has kept my brain going nonstop.
The Small Back Room - Maggie's Record Shop (unhinged meta no one asked for, part 1)
I'm going to cover these in two separate posts because there are a lot. This post is going to be dedicated to the artists with multiple covers in Maggie's shop.
*This is all bonus content from The Arrival (2x1).
What is the purpose of the record shop? It's called The Small Back Room, and it's connected to Aziraphale's bookshop. And a small back room seems like a place someone would store their records.
"If I owned a record shop, I'd be more concerned about people breaking in and leaving more records behind." - Nina
And someone left more records behind. Records of "Every Day".
Aziraphale hears Gabriel sing a human song that Aziraphale is unfamiliar with, so he goes to the record shop to ask Maggie, who actually has way too many copies of "Every Day" because of a pub in Edinburgh, the place with the cemetery that has the statue of Gabriel.
There is more to it though. The pub called the Resurrectionist that plays "Every Day" over and over on the jukebox (and somewhere in America John Mulaney is cackling like a madman) now has direct ties with Aziraphale's personal life because they ended up in Maggie's record shop.
The place where they met Elspeth and Wee Morag, Mr. Dalrymple, messed with dead bodies, and where Crowley saved one woman's soul from Hell.
We heard one passage from Aziraphale's diary, and it was about the time he and Crowley went to Edinburgh that started off with them looking at the statue of Gabriel.
We know Aziraphale has more than 600 volumes of personal written history (as of 1827).
Where is he going to store records of his life on Earth? A record shop that no one other than him visits, attached to the building he owns.
The walls lined with record covers that are telling stories. Clues as to where the story is going to take us? Could they be Aziraphale's diaries or other important records Aziraphale has kept for thousands of years?
And is anyone else concerned about "Come on Over to Our Third Floor Apartment" or is that just me? Heaven is the third floor when you look at the button arrangements on the lift. âŹ†ïžâŹ†ïž âŹ‡ïžâŹ‡ïž
Oslo Revival 1. Come on Over to Our Third Floor Apartment (We're Having a Party / Just for You / Four in a Bed / Have This Drink / It Doesn't Taste Weird / We'll Take Care of You / We Love You / You're One of Us Now / Together Forever) 2. Disguises (Carol and Her Hat / The Bicycle / Memories of a Windchime / Lunch / Who Am I Today? / Make Me Cry / Peggy Asked for Her Jumper Back) 3. It's Raining in My Kitchen (You Cast a Spell on My Wife / Running into Danger / Transcending the Patriarchy / Plumbing / A Dozen Eggs, (Too Many) / Someone New in the Bedroom) 4. Better Together
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Kubasulu 1. Great White Lies (Fishy Business / Fluent in Shark-asm / Vanish into Fin-air / Gettin' Chummy / You're Gill-ty / No-fin Left to Lose / I Chews You) 2. Sweating in the City
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Rat Keith 1. Look at This Mountain (The Mountain I Climbed / Assorted Wailing Chants of Peril / I Ate Some Berries (Shouldn't Have Done That) / What Happens on the Mountain, Stays on the Mountain / I See It in My Dreams / Soiled Leaves and Soft Bark / Don't Touch the Mushrooms / Huddle for Warmth / My Map Blew Away / This is My Home Now / Finally Rescued) 2. A Dog in God's Hot Car 3. Chem Trails
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Raga Koboj 1. Raga Koboj 2. Earth, Swallow Me Whole (Why Can I Just Stay in Bed? / Sighing Loudly / No One's Going to Lunch / I'm Hungry But I Don't Want to Eat Alone / I Wonder What's on the Menu Today / Probably Something Mediocre / I'm Tired / It's Friday / I Wish It Would End) 3. Just Sounds 2.0 (Falling Coin / Stubbed Toe / Oops! / Rice in a Bowl / Spoon Clang / Gagging / Crinkled Paper / Bad Alphabet / Winded)
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Deaf Dust 1. Change the Lightbulb (Cartwheels in Mexico / The cinnamon candle / Hold Me / Let Go / Who wait's for us? / Awesome / The basement's pretty dark / Broken Bulb / Stairway to your Mum's house) 2. Snapshots from the Moon
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Randa Ransom 1. Doin' it in the Dust (Hard on the Rocks / Ridin' the Horizon / Tall Drink of Water / Wear My Hat / Call My Name / Let Me Use a Saddle / Just Us in the Dust) 2. I'm Lost and I Don't Speak the Language (Lost in Tokyo / WHat's that shop selling? / Sex Dolls (Self-Assembly) / Where's the Bathroom? / This Toilet is Singing / More Sex Dolls / There's a Cafe for Cats / I Want to Go Home / What's Home in Japanese? / Take Me Anywhere Taxi Man) 3. The Answer May Surprise You
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Georgina O'Georgia 1. Gorgeous in Georgia ("Oh, George You're Gorgeous" / "It's Georgia with a G!" / "Get your hands off my hair" / "Yes, that's my real name") 2. Spur of the Moment
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CT Bazz 1. Locking Up & Looking Down 2. Dank Balaclava
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I've never seen anyone talk about these though, but they seem important. Have I missed conversation surrounding these? I'm just really curious as to what other people might think.
As I said above, there is a part two, but that part will cover artists with only one cover.
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qu0kkahan · 2 years ago
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Date Night With SKZ
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pairing: skz x reader
genre: fluff
type: imagine
a/n: this is my first post so don't keep too high expectations for this one
° đȘ𐑂 ♡ đȘ𐑂 ₒ đȘ𐑂 ♡ đȘ𐑂 ₒ đȘ𐑂 ♡ đȘ𐑂 °° đȘ𐑂 ♡ đȘ𐑂 ₒ đȘ𐑂 ♡ đȘ𐑂 ₒ đȘ𐑂 ♡ đȘ𐑂 °° đȘ𐑂 ♡ °
[đŸ„‚] chan
a fancy dinner date
order a bunch of food with unpronounceable names.
dressed in fancy gowns and suits.
BANG CHAN WITH GELLED HAIR
probably end up getting McD later because fancy food is never filling
[đŸ„‚] leeknow
  cat cafe date because you both love cats
you'd have to drag him to go though
constantly complaining about how soongi, doongi, dori would be jealous that he's meeting other cats
would probably start cooing at how cute all the cats were and have a shine in his eyes the whole time
would probably want to adopt every cat there
promises to be back but would feel guilty again thinking about soongi doongi dori
[đŸ„‚] changbin
 bicycle date by the han river
both of you had been thinking about cycling even though you weren't the fittest person to exist.
he would constantly motivate you with promises of food whenever you whine about how tired you are
finally when you stop you find a quiet place to sit and admire the view, holding hands
he would slowly rub his thumb over your knuckles as you try to catch your breath
he would have to practically push you all the way back so you can go home, order takeout and cuddle on the couch 
[đŸ„‚] hyunjin
 museum date
you wanted to ask him about this new museum in town and finally when you got time to ask he'd already pulled out two tickets for the weekend.
he would lowkey highkey hate the silence that inevitably comes with museums so he would start whispering his opinions on everything there
"I'm not kidding yn, try looking at the picture at this angle *proceeds to break his neck* the dog really looks like kkami"
you'd be somewhat annoyed but consistently trying to hide your tiny giggles as you stared at him adoringly.
[đŸ„‚] han
 would take you to a music store since you both loved music
air guitars to the background music in the store
will buy you any album that you look at for more than 2 seconds even though you repeatedly tell him not to.
promises to buy you a guitar so he can teach you how to play your favourite songs
and scream the lyrics to your favourite songs in the car on the way back.
will surprise you a week later with a fully personalised mixtape that he recorded.
[đŸ„‚] felix
 picnic date!
would probably spend hours looking for the perfect sunny day
when the day arrives hed get to the park an hour before to make sure everything's just right
would find a beautiful field of flowers to sit in and eat the food he made
would bake you one of those mini pastel cakes because you had gushed about how pretty they were for days.
would pick some flowers to put by your bed so you can remember him when you see them
[đŸ„‚] seungmin
 cafe date with the soft vibes.
usually, you both discuss dates with each other but this time seungmin really wanted to surprise you so you sat back and let him figure it out.
On the day of the date, he was super hyped, talking nonstop your intertwined hands swinging between the both of you
you were pretty surprised to find yourselves in front of this new cafe you had wanted to go to but hadn't really told him about.
"I asked your best friend" he whispers into your ear with the biggest smile at his accomplishment.
you both decide on your drinks and desserts even though you mostly stole his much to his endeared annoyance.
you would walk back holding hands in his pocket to them warm as you both shared earphones and listen to day6 songs.
[đŸ„‚] i.n
carnival date!!!
would grab your hand as soon as you reach there to pull you to the game stalls.
somehow immediately is a champ at everything and before long your tripping your eyesight covered by a bunch of plushies in your arms
he would finally convince you (after 23 minutes of begging) to finally get on the huge Ferris wheel despite your fear of heights.
would hold your hands as soon as you get in the empty carriage, his thumb drawing circles on your knuckles.
you would cling to him as soon as it starts moving and almost scream, closing your eyes when it shudders to a stop when you're at the top.
he would slowly ask you to open your eyes to see the sky.
hed grab your face tenderly and meet his lips to yours, kissing you till you reach the ground again.
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motherjoel · 4 years ago
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get her (spencer reid x fem!reader)
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summary: you finally get a boyfriend after pining for spencer for years, but spencer is suspicious of him
a/n: idek how i got this idea but i hope you guys like it lol. also we all know how sassy spencie gets when he’s upset afbjvbadas
wc: 2.3k
warnings/includes: some language, angst & fluff
“Someones looking chipper today,” said Emily as you walked into the bullpen with a smile on your face.
“What, just cause we catch serial killers for a living, I can’t have a good night?” you asked and shot her a wink. This caught JJ’s attention from a desk over.
“Alright, I’ll bite. Who’s the guy?” she asked, opening the files on her desk. You blushed for a moment before deciding to indulge them in the details.
“If you must know, his name is Justin and we’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now,” you smiled, giggling at your friends reactions. Garcia was nearby, pouring herself a mug of coffee.
“Wait, my ears were burning. Are we talking about love?” she asked, taking a sip of coffee and leaning on your desk.
“I wouldn’t call it love, but it’s something,” you wiggled your eyebrows. Spencer and Derek entered the bullpen together, walking over to the crowd you had assembled.
“Woah, how come I wasn’t invited to the party?” Derek asked, setting his bag down at his desk and joining the rest of you. Spencer lingered near your desk, curious about the gathering as well.
“Well, Y/N here has a special someone
” Emily said, raising her eyebrows. You didn’t notice Spencer visibly deflate from beside you, but JJ did. Spencer had confided in her about the crush he had on you- he never planned to act on it, but now that he knew you were taken, he regretted keeping it to himself. Spencer was almost thankful when Hotch left his office to announce a case. He didn’t want to hear the “dirty details” (as Garcia called them) with this Justin guy. What kind of name is that, anyway, he thought. Everyone stood up to make their way to the conference room before Hotch stopped them.
“A child was declared missing after her family was killed. Time is of the essence, we will debrief on the plane,” he said. Everyone grabbed their go bags and you shot a quick text to Justin, letting him know you wouldn’t be home for a few days. Spencer noticed you smiling at your phone and looked away, trying his best to ignore it. 
After debriefing, everyone was scattered throughout the jet to go over their files and come up with theories. You normally sat with Spencer- he was your best friend in the office- so you made your way to the seat across from him. Although he was your best friend, you hadn’t mentioned Justin to him before today. You’d had feelings for Spencer when you joined the team, but you never thought he would feel the same way so you did your best to move past said feelings. They still lingered, however, when you fell asleep basically on top of each other on many jet rides home, or when he would bring you your favorite coffee on fridays. You decided that the best thing to do was to get in a relationship, which you did. Spencer didn’t look up when you sat across from him on the jet.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him before,” you said, feeling bad that you kept a relationship from your best friend.
“Hm? Who?” Spencer asked, feigning cluelessness. 
“Justin, my-uh, my boyfriend,” you said. Spencer tensed.
“Oh, that’s okay. You don’t have to tell me anything,” he shrugged and looked back down at his files. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but he was acting weird. 
“I know, I just feel like
 you’re my best friend, and I should have told you about him,” you said, suddenly feeling foolish. Your use of “best friend” seemed to warm Spencer up.
“Really, Y/N. It’s fine, as long as you’re happy,” he said with a soft smile. You nodded and silently opened the manila folder, returning focus to the missing girl.
-
You had been working the case nonstop for hours without any leads, and you were feeling hopeless. After a long time of staring blankly at an evidence board, you excused yourself to call your boyfriend. Once you stepped outside, you hit call, only to be sent straight to voicemail. That’s weird you thought. You didn't want to bother him if he was busy, so you sent him a text.
hey, it’s a pretty rough case and I just wanted to call and talk to you. call me when you get the chance <3
You hit send and walked back inside, visibly deflated. Spencer took notice of your disappointed slouch, but remained focused on the profile, as did you. A call from Garcia came in after you had all been sitting in a stumped silence for a good 20 minutes.
“Guys, there was a little girl who just called the police, she claimed to be Sammie Smith,” said Garcia, voice laced with concern. 
“Were you able to triangulate the call?” asked Hotch.
“Unfortunately no, but let me play it for you. It sounds like there's some sort of train in the background,” Garcia said, proceeding to play the audio. You all listened intently.
“Spence, how many trains go through the geographic profile?” you asked, walking over to the map Spencer was looking at and leaning down next to him, unintentionally pressing your chest to the side of his arm.
“Um, just one, but the unsub could be keeping her anywhere along the tracks,” Spencer said, ignoring the feeling of your warmth. 
“Garcia, can you play it again,” asked Prentiss, leaning on the table.
“Sure thing.” You all listened intently. 
“It sounds like the train stops during the recording- maybe she’s being kept near the station? Garcia, what’s the address of Sammie’s uncle?” you asked, thinking about a possible lead.
“Let me see
 it’s 327 Lavender Road
 which is a block from one of the train stations in the geographic profile,” she said urgently.
“Thanks Garcia,” Prentiss said as you all raced out of the conference room and into your SUVs. 
-
The case was successful- or about as successful as catching a serial killer could be. You had saved Sammie’s life and she had an aunt across the country who would care for her. As you all piled onto the jet, you checked your phone again for a text from Justin. Nothing. You sat with Spencer on the couch, taking a deep sigh.
“He still hasn’t texted you back?” Spencer asked, looking between you and your phone. 
“How did you know?” you asked, shoving your phone into your pocket.
“Well, you left the conference room yesterday and you came back discouraged, and you’ve been constantly checking your phone since then. Basic profiling,” he said, pulling a book out of his bag.
“Hey, whatever happened to the moratorium on profiling each other,” you said with a raised eyebrow. Spencer shrugged.
“I don’t know, I was just skeptical of this Justin guy. I mean, maybe there was a reason you didn’t tell any of us about him until now,” he said nonchalantly. You felt a little sting.
“Spencer, don’t you think that’s a little presumptuous? I mean, you didn’t tell any of us about Maeve,” you said.  Spencer snapped his eyes back up to you. You felt bad bringing up his old scars but you needed to defend yourself.
“What’s this got to do with Maeve? At least she returned my calls,” he said, more angry than before.
“Spencer, why are you being like this?” you asked, getting the attention from the other team members now.
“Why am I being like this? I wasn’t the one who took a break from our job to call a boyfriend that won't even call me back,” he snapped. His eyes widened a little when he realized what he had just said. He had hurt your feelings. You stood up, tears brimming in your eyes. “Y/N, wait-” he started.
“No, I get it. I’m just gonna sit over there,” you said, grabbing your things and moving to the opposite end of the jet next to Emily. Spencer watched you walk away and he had never felt more guilty. He looked at Morgan who was sitting nearby and witnessed the whole fight. 
“What do you have against Y/N dating?” Morgan asked, moving to sit next to Spencer. He seemed to already know the answer.
“Don’t make me say it,” Spencer put his head in his hands. Morgan clapped his shoulder, laughing lightly.
“Reid, we’ve all seen you two together. You guys cuddle on the jet home after cases. Cuddle. Spencer ‘I don’t shake hands’ Reid is tangled up with a girl he doesn’t even call his girlfriend,” Morgan said, shaking his head.
“She has a boyfriend Morgan. I’m in love with her and she’s-she’s taken,” Reid said, more quietly now. Derek widened his eyes.
“Damn, this ain’t no puppy love then. You’re in love with her?” he asked, taking on a more concerned tone. Spencer nodded his head, resting his chin on his hand and looking at you, trying to get some sleep in the uncomfortable chair. You probably would’ve slept better next to him. 
“Then you gotta get her,” Morgan said before standing up and walking back to his original seat, putting headphones on. Spencer thought about what Derek had said, but decided that he would wait a bit. He wasn’t the type to just “get her.” With one last look at you shifting in your sleep, Spencer opened his book and tried to read, being only plagued with thoughts of you the entire ride home.
-
You exited the jet even more tired than you were before, if it was possible. After fighting with Spencer, you just wanted to see Justin. You wanted to prove to yourself that he was real, that he was a good guy. So, the second you got back to the office, you hopped onto the metro and took the train to his apartment, saying quick goodbyes to most of the team. Spencer not included. You walked up to his door and gave a knock, which was met without a reply. You tried again before wiggling his doorknob a bit. It was unlocked, which was odd for him. You began to worry a bit, so you decided to go inside and check it out. Your gun was drawn, just a precaution, when you heard screaming coming from his bedroom. You ran quickly to his room before bursting inside, pointing your gun at the source of the noise. Or, sources.
He was on his bed, presumably naked, under the sheets. Next to him was a woman you didn’t recognize, similarly naked. You opened your mouth in shock, slowly lowering your gun.
“So this is why you weren’t answering my text,” you said, still in a state of shock.
“Y/N, I-” Justin began.
“Nope. Nuh uh, I’m good, I’m
 I’m gonna go,” you said, tears brimming in your eyes. As you stormed out of the apartment building, you walked and walked until you had finally stopped crying. You felt so stupid. And you were lost. With a sigh, you pulled out your phone and called the first number that came to mind.
“Hey, uh I’m lost and
 can you pick me up?” you asked, sniffling a bit.
“Send me your location, I’m on my way,” Spencer said before hanging up. You sat down on the sidewalk and sent him your location. He lived nearby, so it only took a few minutes for him to arrive. Once he saw you, he stopped his car and got out, sitting next to you on the ground. You sniffled back a few tears.
“I found out why he wasn’t answering my calls,” you said, fiddling with a pebble you found on the ground. Spencer looked at you, waiting for you to continue. “Turns out I wasn’t the only woman he was fucking,” you said, standing up angrily. Spencer winced at your harsh language. You started to cry again, this time from anger. “But I’m okay!” you said pacing for a bit.
“Don’t lie to me,” Spencer said, watching you warily.
“I mean, god! How could I be so stupid to think I had finally found someone?” you asked angrily, repeatedly kicking a lamp post. 
“Y/N
” Spencer stood up and walked over to you.
“No, I’m an idiot!” you yelled, angry tears streaming down your face. Kick, kick kick. When kicking wasn’t enough to satisfy you, your fists began to bang on it repeatedly. Poor lamp post.
“Y/N stop!” Spencer said, trying to grab your fists. “You’re going to hurt yourself,” he said, gently grabbing your wrists and turning you to face him. You took one look at his face and collapsed into his embrace, both of you sinking to the ground as he held you and shushed you, whispering confirmations in your ear. “Just breathe, breathe,” he said softly, stroking your back. Once you had calmed down, he spoke again. “Hey, look at me,” he said, and you did, looking up at his sympathetic face. “You deserve someone who values you,” he said softly.
“Like who?” you looked down at your entwined hands, heart drumming against your chest. 
“Like
 like me,” he confessed, eyes flickering down to your lips. You slowly removed your hands from his and put them on the sides of his face, gazing into his sparkling eyes.
“I don’t deserve you,” you said softly. As if to prove his point, Spencer leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, tasting your salty tears. You pulled away after a moment, savoring the way he tasted.
“You deserve everything,” Spencer said before kissing you on the forehead. You giggled and pulled him in by his tie, slamming your lips together again, this time with more intensity. He was surprised at first, but his hands quickly found their way into your hair as he moved in synchronicity with you, eventually pulling away for air.
“I love you Y/N, I always have,” he said, breathlessly.
“I love you too, Spencer Reid.”
-
taglist: @rigatonireid​, @yesimaunicorn​, @aworldoffandoms​
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robincantfunction · 3 years ago
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Hi! Can I request an Alex from Julie and the phantoms x fem! reader, where Alex and y/n are best friends with the prompt number 20 “have you seen my- hoodie
 and you’re wearing it” please?
ALEX AND THE READER ARE JUST FRIENDS IN THIS FANFIC. IM SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION, AND IM VERY SORRY IF I MADE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE <3
wow posting a fic more than twice a week? who is she?
requested: yes/no (requests are open)
warnings: fem!reader, like one swear word, a suggestive comment (lemme know if i missed any)
summary: the band are writing a song in the garage (the song i used is the ramblings of a lunatic)
a/n: thank you for the request!! i have to admit writers block really got me good for this, but i love alex so much!! this is kinda just a band x reader with an implied luke x reader (i hope that's ok!) but i kept the alex x reader aspect for the hoodie part :) sorry it took so long!!
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they were all sitting down in the 'studio' as luke calls it, luke and y/n writing random lyrics in their notebooks whilst reggie mindlessly strumming his bass, alex was balancing his drum sticks on his nose and bobby was late. as always. y/n wrote as she hummed to herself, trying to come up with a rhythm.
I'm setting pen to paper again Lost my sense of home from the words that I've said But the thoughts have begun to ferment in my head And content manifest don't feel good enough for them
"have either of you got anything?" she looked up at reggie "possibly, writing a brand new song for just a few days time is a lot of pressure i have to admit" luke nodded. the two had been nonstop writing for what felt like forever, trying to create their best song yet.
So I Try and transcend my ego But don't we know It will never work Maybe I'll just descend to dirt Flirt with becoming food for worms
"well you two never dissapoint, i'm sure we'll get there" alex looked at her, to make sure she was ok. y/n got stressed easily, and was hard on herself and the lyrics she'd create. she nodded at him and the silent communication was understood. "i think i have some decent lyrics, but it really will need a good tune to go along with it, reg - alex?" their song writing process was always different depending on the situation. most of the time luke and or y/n would have a song practically done, chords in mind aswell, and then the others would build off it and add to it. but in desperate situations like this, y/n and luke would be on lyrics and reg, alex and bobby (when he turned up) would try and create a killer beat.
Would anyone listen to this The ramblings of a lunatic My mind does play an awful trick The ramblings of a lunatic Would anyone listen to this I'm running from my emptiness My brain is tired, my stomach sick The ramblings of a lunatic
in the background she could faintly hear a bass playing, and subtle taps on the drums. but when she was in the zone, when she got an idea, it was like the whole world went fuzzy, and all she could hear was the lyrics forming themselves.
Why has constructing sentences become like pulling teeth Wiping dental records clean Is the carcass even me? Is This catharsis Therapeutic plunge to darkness Or elaborating upon my mediocrity
as the door to the garage opened she got taken out of her trance. "hey guys, sorry i'm late-" "-i was just making out with cassie" she muttered, thinking no one else heard, but clearly luke did as he tried to stifle a laugh, ending up just covering it up with a cough. "i was with cas and lost track of time" y/n rolled her eyes "oh yeah no totally, we get it you were busy. might wanna button your shirt up properly though" this time it was everyone except bobby struggled to maintain their laughter. his face fell in embarrassed, that was a look she wouldn't forget for a long time. "seriously bobby it's fine" she smiled, although under her breath she mumbled "not like we're trying to write a song for the orpheum or anything". it started getting cold in the studio, so she got up and walked to alex's bag, knowing he'd have a spare hoodie she could nab.
Maybe this is a result Of me finally accepting That I'll be alone forever That I deserve forgetting It's a pointless endeavour And maybe it's upsetting But I've never felt more comfortable In the concept of things ending
she kept writing, although now very aware of her surroundings. after some time she noticed alex looking in his bag puzzled "have any of you seen my-" he looked up at y/n chuckling a little "hoodie... and y/n is wearing it" she smiled cheekily "sorry, did you want it back?" he shook his head "na it's ok don't worry. i was looking for pen and noticed it wasn't in there, thought i lost it" everyone chuckled slightly at the two. luke leaned over to say something only y/n could hear "looks better on you anyway" she blushed slightly, luke and her always had a flirty friendship. "ewww they're gonna fuck in a second- look he's undressing her with his eyes." alex deadpanned, making the entire group laugh, they always joked about luke and alex, but nothing had come of it yet.
Would anyone listen to this The ramblings of a lunatic My mind does play an awful trick The ramblings of a lunatic Would anyone listen to this I'm running from my emptiness My brain is tired, my stomach sick The ramblings of a lunatic
"y/n are you nearly finished with the lyrics? i think i might have something but i'll need to check to see if it goes with the style and stuff of the lyrics" she nodded, getting back to writing "yeah just gimme like 2 seconds"
Maybe this writer's block that I've been perceiving Is to stop me diving deeply into my internal being And falling into darkness below my surface tension Emotional suppression my coping mechanism 'Cause all my friends are dying, some faster than the others Lungs filling up with fluid, place face under the covers 'Cause all my friends are dying, some faster than the others I'm trying to distract myself from the fears that I've discovered
"honestly though can you guys believe it? we're actually gonna play at the orpheum! we're gonna be legends" luke was already hyping them all up "that's if this doesn't suck butt hole, and if i'm honest i'm not convinced" they all rolled their eyes "shut up y/n/n. you're thebest songwriter i know" luke smiled at her "yeah! just believe in yourself man! what's it about?" alex asked, already curious of the meaning behind the song without even hearing it "writer's block. and how i can ramble when i really need an idea. and other stuff i guess"
Would anyone listen to this The ramblings of a lunatic My mind does play an awful trick The ramblings of a lunatic Would anyone listen to this I'm running from my emptiness My brain is tired, my stomach sick The ramblings of a lunatic
Would anyone listen to this The ramblings of a lunatic My mind does play an awful trick The ramblings of a lunatic Would anyone listen to this I'm running from my emptiness My brain is tired, my stomach sick The ramblings of a lunatic
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love-amihan · 4 years ago
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EP. 3; SWEET LULLABIES
amihan's note: this contains more writing than pictures!! really excited with this series, the ideas just kept coming in my head kfndkf how are you all liking this so far? i'd love hear your thoughts in replies! or you can send me an ask, whichever you're comfortable with ^3^)/ enough chit chats, here you go happy reading!
masterlist; regrets@1004
friend!megumi x fem!reader, friend!yuji x fem!reader
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you knocked on megumi's door bouncing on the balls of your feet, "gumi i swear to god i will kick this door down!" you shouted from the other side, hearing his footsteps you wear a glare on your face as soon as the door opened "sorry was doing something"
you let out a huff making your way inside his house, your glare soon turned to a soft smile seeing the acoustic guitar lying down on his couch. you turned and face him showing your smile, he raises a brow at the sudden change of your mood "for someone who grew up with a person that sang nonstop to them, you sure get excited every time"
megumi sat down holding his guitar, his finger mindlessly plucking the strings random chords filling the room. "but yuta's overrated" you said waving a hand around, you situated yourself in front of him leaning on your hand. "besides, it's not like you always sing to us"
he just shrugs looking up at you before returning his attention back to his guitar, "why did you call me so suddenly anyways?" your head slightly tilting to the side, "yuta said he was gonna be busy today recording a cover, he forgot that we we're gonna have one of those jamming"
"and you called me just for that?" you got confused since it's not like he need someone to hear him sing a cover song, "no, been composing something actually" you gasped loudly causing him to look back at you, "what?"
you pointed a finger at him other hand on your chest, showing you're hurt "and you didn't tell us- me?!" megumi grumbles looking to the side, his mouth slowly turning into a pout "it's nothing special, why would i need to?" you shake your head at him before realizing something.
"wait. does that mean i'm the first to hear it?" you look at him, your eyes sparkling in excitement. he shake his head, "actually it was yuta" you threw your hands up not caring about his statement, "no, i stand by that i'm the first" he let out a sigh, yuji really has been rubbing off on you.
"let's hear it let's hear it let's hear it" you chanted clapping your hands together, his fingers gliding in the right place for the correct chords. "it's still a bit rough, tell me if you hear something wrong or if you have any suggestion" he reminded you giving you a last look, you eagerly nod at him before he looked back down clearing his throat as the start of the song nears. his soft voice echoes the room blending perfectly with the warm sound of his guitar.
you stare at megumi with wide eyes after he finished his little performance, "what do you think?" he asked while putting away his guitar, "i think i'll have another famous friend" you exclaimed at him still amazed by his creation. he rolled his eyes at you, "so that's all i am to you huh? fame?" he crossed his arms playing around with you
you gasp sitting down next to him, "of course it's about your bank too, i mean jeez gojo really went into depositing money on your account" you turn and look at megumi who's laughing a little, "what? it's true" he raises a brow "the money?" you frown bumping shoulders with him slightly "about gojo silly"
you giggle hearing him breathe out in relief, "can't believe you really think of me like that" he shrugs "gotta be safe" you pushed him to the side yelling at him while he laughed at you.
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you repeatedly scroll on your phone getting frustrated as seconds pass by, you can't believe it yuji really forgot this. he's leaving you in his inbox, not even on read! you can't help but feel a little upset by this, it's been your thing for so long and it felt like it was part of your daily routine at this point.
you shake your head trying not to overthink, "no, he's most likely just busy" you said to yourself nodding in encouragement. you blink down at your phone screen not knowing you were calling someone,
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"y/n?" you heard megumi's voice from your phone speaker, "heyyyy i didn't realized i called you, sorry about that" you mumble to your phone as you press it against your ear, "did something happened? you don't sound like you usually do" he voiced out, talkative than usual.
you let out a sigh, lips slowly turning into a pout. "kind of a childish reason" you muttered drawing circles on your lap, "when wasn't?" you groan hearing his chuckle on the other side, "on a serious note, you wanna talk about it?" you shake your head before remembering you're on a call,
"don't wanna" megumi hummed, "wanna facetime instead?" you agreed angling your phone where he can see you properly, you waved at the camera seeing him leaning on his bed's headboard, you leaned on the pillow you're hugging mumbling your words "can you sing for me again?"
megumi looks at you for a minute before sighing, "fine since you're upset today" he cleared his throat beginning to sing you a song. before you knew it, your eyes are slowly drooping close, megumi's voice lulling you in the background. a few minutes passed and you're already fast asleep, he looked at your peaceful state longingly "so pretty" his voice cause you to stir in your sleep.
he purses his lips almost getting caught, holding his breath until you make no move of waking up. megumi smiled before taking a screenshot, "sweet dreams beautiful, hope you'll feel better when you wake up" he whispers before tapping the end call button.
-random facts;
megumi respects yuta more than the others because of his talents
yuta and megumi spend most of their time jamming
one time when the group decided to let loose, megumi got so wasted that he just randomly burst out singing on the top of his lungs
no yuji's not holding a video of that as a form of blackmail
you accidentally broke yuta's guitar back in your childhood yuta was and still so heartbroken bout that
maki is slowly getting encouraged by nobara to join her on making megumi confessed
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copyright © 2021 by love-amihan all rights reserved. do not repost in other platforms. reblogs are welcome and highly appreciated! <33
taglist; @lumpiang-toge @deanodonk @duhsies @syynnaaah @calamariie @champagnetvstes @kirustne @iamlowkeycrying @asheseiler @janessawonderwall @erueru501 @mknz01-blog @xmellows @sukunas-cult-leader
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hopelesshawks · 4 years ago
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Official Accounts Part 22- Keigo
Summary: (y/n) was perfectly happy remaining anonymous, even if her best friends were all pro heroes and she worked under THE Hawks. Handling the technical aspects of hero work from the background suited her just fine, thank you very much. That goes out the window when suddenly her twitter blows up thanks Denki and the famed no. 2 hero is asking her to run his own official twitter as a result
If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa
Warnings for manga spoilers related to Hawks’ backstory
Masterlist
Seeing Hawks without his wings isn’t any easier the second time around. If anything, it’s harder because the first time you’d seen him he’d barely been lucid, certainly not lucid enough to feel his wings’ absence, and he’d passed right back out before he could truly become aware of his surroundings. Now you can practically feel his grief as you step into his room. He’s sitting up in the hospital bed but his face is turned away from you as he stares listlessly out the window. The nurse who had helped you from your room to his gives you a quiet ïżœïżœgood luck” before closing the door behind you. “Are there any cameras or audio recording devices in here?” you ask with faux casualness by way of greeting. “No. HPSC can’t risk my health info getting out so this room is as private as it gets,” Hawks replies, “why?” “Because Keigo,” Hawks freezes, his eyes snapping to meet yours, “I kinda promised I wouldn’t call you that where anyone else could hear,” you finish. To your surprise, and his, a tear slowly makes its way down his face. “I’m sorry! You told me I could! I didn’t think you’d-“ “Me either,” he laughs, cutting you off before swiping at his eyes to make sure no more tears fall. “Sorry I guess it’s just uh- no one’s called me that in a very long time,” he explains as you sit on the side of his bed. “Do you want me to stop?” you ask cautiously but he shakes his head. “No it’s... it’s nice. Different,” he admits.
For a moment you both sit in silence. You figured he shouldn’t be alone but now that you’re actually in his room with him you have no idea where to start. “Hey, look on the bright side, at least you’re finally getting some time off,” you joke in an attempt to lighten the mood. “I don’t want time off!” Hawks snaps gritting his teeth. You’re stunned by his reaction. Not by the fact he doesn’t want to take time off. Hawks’ workaholic tendencies were no secret to you. More you were shocked by the vehemence of his reaction. “I’m sorry I just....” he says as he scrubs a frustrated hand over his face. “You just what?” You press slightly. “I can’t not work that long.” “What do you mean?” “I don’t know how.” “Hawks” “Keigo” “Right, Keigo. I know you were like the youngest pro ever to have their own agency or whatever but you still started your career at what 17-18? You lived before you were a pro hero you just need to recapture that a little.” “No... I didn’t. My hero education was a little.... different.” “What does that mean?” “It’s a long story.” “We’ve got time.” Hawks laughs at your response, although there isn’t much joy in it. You notice the muscles in his shoulders and back twitch as if trying to flex his wings and it pains you a little to see the way his face drops when he doesn’t feel anything move.
“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” you assure him. “No. No I want to tell you. I was planning on it actually. That’s why I was with Chargebolt when he went back home yesterday,” he explains. “Well in that case I’m all ears.” He takes a deep breath to steady himself and leans back against the hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Literally no one except the HPSC knows what I’m about to tell you. No one,” he admits as one hand grips the sheets tightly. You place a gentle hand on top of it and he shoots you an appreciative look before taking your hand and then returning his gaze to the ceiling. He takes one last deep breath. “My uh real name is Keigo Takami. My father is a villain. He’s currently serving time for multiple robberies and homicides. Endeavor was the one who picked him up. My mom had long been out of the picture by then and no one could find her so I became the state’s problem. I was 5, just starting to figure out how my w-“ his words catch in his throat for a moment and you give his hand a reassuring squeeze but say nothing to avoid interrupting him. “Just starting to figure out my quirk and I guess the HPSC took notice and saw potential so they stepped in, arranged a meeting with me. All I had were the clothes on my back and a little Endeavor doll my mom must’ve given me when I was little. They offered to make me a hero like Endeavor so I agreed and became a ward of the HPSC. By the time I was seven I had a hero name and by the time I was eight it was the only thing they’d call me. I barely remember a time before I was training to be a hero and the few memories I do have from before aren’t good ones. So yes, officially, my career didn’t start until I was 18 but pretty much my whole life has been devoted to being a hero. Without hero work I am nothing.” “That’s not true.” “It is. Everything I do outside of hero work is fake. My personality is manufactured. Quiet broken kids from broken villain families don’t play well in the press as top heroes so they killed Keigo Takami and birthed Hawks from the ashes.” “Well I’m not speaking to Hawks right now am I?” you ask. He’s a little stunned to find you’re right. “No, I guess not,” he concedes. It’s quiet for a moment.
“Move over,” you tell him. “What?” “I said move over!” you insist, using your free hand to push him to emphasize your point. He continues to give you a confused glance but eventually does as asked. You release his hand as you climb into the hospital bed, trying to be careful not to further disturb your injuries or his. Once you’re situated and comfortable you turn to Keigo and open your arms wide in an invitation, the same way Denki has done a million times for you. “What are you doing (y/n)?” “When was the last time you let someone hold you?” Keigo thinks about it and comes up pretty empty. “The HPSC isn’t the loving family type so much as the nonstop brutal training type.” “I figured as much so come here.” “(Y/n)...” “Look if you’re really that uncomfortable I’ll drop it but we’re friends now Keigo. And in my friend group when one of us is upset we cuddle,” you declare. Keigo’s calculating gaze casts over you looking for the slightest hint of hesitation, doubt, or regret yet he finds nothing to indicate your offer is anything but genuine. So he gives in. He falls into your embrace, letting you wrap your arms around him as he buries his face in your neck and wraps his arms around your torso. The silent tears come shortly after but neither of you comment on it. “How about you stay with me until your wings grow back. We can learn who Hawks is outside of hero work together,” you offer. Keigo freezes in your arms for a moment but only melts deeper into your touch when you move a hand to stroke through his hair. “I’d like that,” he responds in a whisper. “Good.”
Author’s Note: Honestly I expected this to end up longer but I’m happy with how it turned out. Keigo deserves friends and I’m excited to explore him outside of hero work. The next few parts should be interesting and I have a feeling the rest of the series will feature a lot of written parts based on the ideas I’ve got bouncing around rn but I guess we’ll see
Taglist [open]: @cathy8taffy @katzurras @grumpyfroggies @captaincyberqueen @itskindofafairything @420-uwu @someweirdshitman @oliviasslut @the-adzukibean @main-ruthyruth
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sparklesparklekoushi · 4 years ago
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Choose Your Glucose Guardian! (Ushijima Wakatoshi Ver.)
This is part one of a seven part series based on some of the Haikyuu! Captains.
This was originally posted on my Ao3 here: link
Minor spoiler-ish? Mentions a timeskip! team.
That’s all, enjoy!!
You don’t even know how you got here. You were in bed, in a really really oversized shirt with nothing under it. But no, nothing had happened prior to that. You were snuggled up to none other than Japan's volleyball ace, Ushijima Wakatoshi. A movie was playing in the background, probably The Princess Diaries for the nth time during the week. It was a normal occurrence, at night you would find yourself in one of his jerseys or snuggly shirts that were at least 2 times bigger than you, snuggled up to him watching the same damn movie or some other teen flick until who knows what hour.
He would fall asleep faster than you would, but you wouldn't have it any other way this way, you could stare at him lovingly without having to hide it. This way you could admire his peaceful features in contrast to how cold and stoic he looks when he is awake. He doesn't snore, but sometimes you'd catch him sleep talking about volleyball if you're lucky enough. When that would happen you would giggle and smile at what you would hear. But then again, you shouldn't be feeling this way at all

After all, these were against unspoken rules

The unspoken rules of being a sugar baby
Yes, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Ace of the Schwieden Adlers, was your sugar daddy.
Yet why did you feel this way?
Maybe it was the way he held you close, like you were something to protect. Or it was in the way he actually smiled when he was with you. Was it the fact that he wasn’t much older than you either? He was only 27 and you were 21, not much of an age difference there and that made you bond, you could say, even closer.
Another thing is that Ushijima would never do anything you wouldn’t consent to. He knew his boundaries and knew how to respect your space. In fact, he was more of a friend at this point than someone who was supposed to be spoiling you nonstop. He just appreciated your company while you loved his company. You didn’t need fancy gifts or anything lavish, you honestly just wanted him. You, if you were to consider him as a friend, really wanted to take things to the next level.
But then, who were you to be anything but a plaything to get bored of? You were just a university student, an art student at that. You were just an expressive mess who was in love with someone who truly isn’t yours. You weren’t poor, in fact, you had a stable internship at an art gallery and your boss says you would make it big someday. You sell cute art and it's fun and fulfilling, so why were you in this situation.
It was another day at an art fair, but this art fair was somewhat different. You weren’t at some anime convention or anything like that, you were selling your original art at a local art fair. You were all dressed up as this took place at a fancy gallery. It was fun, but then this was sort of a test of how much you would sell. You were honestly scared, since this could be a stepping stone to becoming a recognized artist.
Some people had bought your art pieces and it made you happy, you didn’t really know how to price things at first, but your art teacher at your uni had helped you throughout the whole process, in fact, they were the reason you were here now. You were seated at your table, taking a break from talking to all these people when you were approached by a red haired man who seemed to be in the same age group as you.
Woah, that's cool, wish I was this big at that age
 you thought to yourself.
He smiled at you when you met each other's eyes, “Excuse me, but would you happen to know the artist of these paintings?”
He was pointing in the direction of your most prized painting, the most expensive one at that. It was your definition of love at that time, a whimsical, beautiful thing.
You nodded, “Yes, that would be me.”
He smiles a little shocked, “Woah that's cool, how old are you? Aren’t you too young to be here?”
You knew he was joking as you both laughed, “For the record, I’m 20. So no, I don’t think I'm that young to be here.”
He nods in respect, “I’m Tendou, Tendou Satori. I’m actually asking about the painting for a friend.”
“(l/n) (y/n). If I may ask, who is willing to buy my painting?”
“I am.” A deep voice says sending shivers down your spine.
You looked behind you to see a tall man who seemed to be the same age as Tendou. And as much as you hate to admit it, he was really good looking.
You learned when talking to him that he was Ushijima Wakatoshi, and the Ace of Japan’s men's volleyball team. Soon enough he asked you to make him another painting
 but that didn’t go that well at first.
Some things had happened and your family disowned you completely as you shifted to a full time art major. You argued with them constantly recently as they never supported you
 And I guess going to local art fairs proved that you would not listen to them
 so a few days later you were disowned. You didn’t know what to do, but you did have enough money for now, to last through the semester.
Eventually however, you had to call Ushijima to tell him about how you would not be able to produce his painting anytime soon. He had been talking to you for a while now, about mundane things like your lives. He thought you were a breath of fresh air and that was when he suggested it.
You were hesitant at first, but he reassured you that he would never do anything that you didn’t like. So you agreed to his somewhat proposal.
So just like that, it's been a year since that has happened. In all honesty, you could walk away from all of this now as you can stand on your own feet and all that. But Ushijima wouldn't let you go. He would always say that he wanted you to stay with him until you finished college at least or he would make other excuses.
You just wish he would do that out of the fact that he wanted to love you for you, and not because you were some fragile girl.
That night, you couldn’t take it any longer. Your thoughts piling up and eating at you were causing you to think of crazy things, so in the middle of the night, you left his house. You wandered out in his old shirt and some leggings as it was a cold night. You brought your phone but put it on airplane mode so you could listen to music. It was going to be a rough night for sure

Ushijima stirred awake to find you missing from his arms. He was extremely worried. He tried calling you and giving you some time, but as 30 minutes passed and you didn’t answer, he couldn’t take it anymore, he had to find you. He heard you crying a few nights ago, and he wondered why. He thought that he might not be giving you enough art supplies or something, but he wanted you to tell him. So he hinted these things at you through the way Tendou had taught him.
He was honestly sick of this no feelings and strings attached relationship. He truly wanted to love you, but he was scared that you didn’t see him as anything more than a person to talk to, or dare he say it, a friend. He called up Tendou to help him and his friend sighed over the phone saying; “You better make her your girlfriend after this or I’m going to make her my sugar baby.”
That was enough of a push for him to find you and do what's right.
It was getting late, and both males had no hint of where you had gone. They had checked almost everywhere. That’s until Ushijima had realized that there would be a place you would 100% be in, the art gallery where you first met. It would be open until this time as it was open 24/7
 plus, you interned there. He sent a text to Tendou to meet him there as he ran over to the place. And there you were, headphones in, about to enter the building. He came up to you and enveloped you into a hug, a hug that made you feel loved.
“Be mine.” He says as your eyes widen.
You’ve never felt so happy in your entire life, and with that, you shared a kiss under the moonlight.
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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years ago
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Found Out
CW: Not much! Just some brief references to death and to pet whump
“Remind me why I’m watching fucking youtube videos of fucking gymnasts today?” Will asks, laid out on the couch with his legs over Mari’s lap as she fiddled with her phone. Brooke and Laken have half the carpet in the student lounge for their dorm covered in papers, markers, and pens, working on some kind of poster for a party Brooke is throwing. 
“Because,” Becka - she’s in a bunch of Will’s classes and is doing printmaking for her major, which makes her officially cooler than Will himself - says, sitting legs-crossed on the floor looking up at the lounge TV, then down at the laptop open in front of her. “Akio Nakamura literally grew up like two hours from here, he trains right near here!”
“I have no idea who that is,” Mari says without looking up, huffing a hint of soundless laughter. Will sits himself up a little on his elbows and turns to look as Becka finally gets the cast to work. Youtube pops up on the TV screen, the video frozen right at the start, with AKIO NAKAMURA, 20XX Musical Floor Routine  just underneath.
Paused and ready to begin is a screenshot from the video, of a short, heavily muscled teenage boy grinning over his shoulder at someone off screen. 
“He’s the favorite for the U.S. team for the Olympics this year! I always follow gymnastics and figure skating, basically that’s all I care about, but Akio is the best. He is definitely getting the gold this year.” 
“Oh, definitely,” Brooke says, with an exaggerated nod. “Definitely the gold, uh-huh.”
“Yes,” Mari cuts in. “I care very deeply about this and also agree that he will get the gold. Um. Whoever he is.”
“Fuck off, guys.” Becka flips them off over her shoulder without looking back and clicks, a narrator - presumably Nakamura himself - explaining the floor routine he’s about to do, that when he’s not competing he’s always liked to build himself a music-based routine, and this recording has been around for a long time and he’s just getting around to loading it up.
“For a long time I never touched these old recordings - you know, it just, you’ll see why later - but I think it’s probably time. And I really liked what we did.”
“We?” Mari asks.
“Sssshhhhh.”
The same teenager from the screenshot steps out onto a large mat in a gymnast’s leotard, taking position. His team is lounging in the background, talking to each other, to the coach, practicing their own moves. They’re a mix of blondes, brunettes, redheads, and people with black hair, a bunch of kids of varying ages, heights, weights, and looks. 
Will squints at a redhead in the corner of the screen, watching Nakamura take position from just in the corner, bouncing on his toes, rolling his shoulders, in a constant nonstop motion. Something about the redhead looks vaguely familiar, but the video is a little blurry from casting larger onto the TV and hasn’t settled into crispness yet. 
“Wait, I thought dudes didn’t get to use music,” Ben says from the table over in the corner, where he’s been steadfastly ignoring everyone else while reading a book and claiming it counts as hanging out if I’m physically here, okay, trust me, I’m an introvert. He looks up, now, with some vague hint of interest. 
Becka sighs and hits pause again. “They don’t,” She explains, patiently. “Male gymnast floor routines are all about strength, and rhythm isn’t really important. But Akio likes to use music and he does these videos where he does the same kind of floor routines the girls do? I think just for fun. But he has a whole youtube channel and there’s a bunch on here, and he’s been putting up old ones from way, way back. I guess some friend of his who died is in them, so he just got around to looking at them again.”
“Lovely. And you’re inflicting this on us because
”
“Mari, seriously, it’s so cool to watch. Just fucking deal with it, or keep scrolling.”
Mari grins, nudging Becka with her foot. “Kidding, Becks. I’m watching, I promise. Hey, where’s Chris?”
Laken shrugs without looking up from their current work very carefully gluing an intricate paper cutout down to the posterboard. “Dunno. Had something to do with his brother, I think.”
“I swear, I’m a twin and I don’t like my brother as much as he likes his,” Brooke says, rolling her eyes, and Laken snorts, eyes slightly crossed as they very carefully pull a small line of glue in a perfect spiral with the paper.
“Guys, for the love of fuck, just shut up and let me watch this.” Becka waves her hand backwards, and Laken and Brooke share a look and an eyeroll, but the room goes quiet. Becka hits play again, and the music kicks on, something bright and upbeat nobody in the room recognizes immediately. 
Akio rolls his neck, gets a grin on his face, and takes off across the mat, tensing at the last half-second before he seems to jump and fold forwards at once, backflipping once, twice, before he spins in the air and lands with his feet in perfect position, arms up - then he winks at the camera and rocks his hips, and Mari, Will, and Brooke all let out a sound somewhere between a gasp and laughter.
“Good God, that boy just had fun with his pelvis,” Mari says, mock-scandalized.
“Watch, just, just watch-” Becka waves her hand again and the group watches Nakamura dance across the mat, matching the rhythm of the song exactly, dropping into a split and then back up again like gravity is something he can simply turn off whenever he wants. He folds himself over backwards and walks on his hands before he’s back up on his feet, with a quick spin and another hip-rock, backing his way into the marked-off spot in the corner. There’s another running set of flips and jumps and Will is watching, and it’s crazy as hell, sure, but his eyes keep getting drawn to that boy in the corner.
Wearing the same leotard, the boy is dancing along with Nakamura, matching all his in-between-moves perfectly, a bright, shining smile on his face, clapping every time Nakamura nails a flip or a jump, edging his slow way up to just at the other corner on that side.
“Hey,” Ben says, but his voice is too quiet, and the drums are louder suddenly, like someone just turned the speakers up. Will hears him, though, and looks over to see Ben making the exact face as what Will is feeling.
Except

Ben swallows so hard Will can see his Adam’s apple move.
“All right, so in this one, one of the kids I used to train with, Tristan Higgs, and I had kind of planned out a bit at the end - okay, watch Tristan right
 about
 now.”
Nakamura lands a jump, moves into a dance, and the redhead runs up onto the mat, takes his own position with his arms up, and shoots Nakamura a brilliant smile before he takes off himself. He’s short, and heavily muscled, but that smile is unmistakable.
While the redhead runs, Nakamura dances to the side, watching him with a grin.
“What the fuck?” Ben says from the corner, slamming his book shut and standing up, walking closer to watch the screen. “Do you guys-... do you see that?”
“They can’t do this in competition,” Becka says, misunderstanding the sudden silence to be awe, confusion at the routine itself. “It’s too dangerous. But nothing happens, they just have fun.”
The redhead does three backflips and then spins, hits his landing perfectly - the team throws up a deafening cheer - and he launches into the dance right as Nakamura is back in position for his next run. 
They move around each other fluidly, for a while dancing nearly together. The group watches them move back to back, the redhead’s hair flashing coppery in the gym’s lights as he briefly drops it back onto Nakamura’s shoulder before spinning away, the team cheering them on and singing along with the song.
Ben’s eyes meet Laken’s. “Do you-... do you see-”
Laken looks away, shifting around, staring back down at the poster they’re working on alone now. “Yeah,” They say, voice slightly husky. “I see it.”
“But-”
“Let it go, Ben.”
“Laken, that’s Chris.”
“Holy shitballs,” Will says, “You’re right. It is Chris. Becka, fucking-... fucking pause next time they get his face on screen.”
“No worries, they’re almost done.” Becka blinks, puzzled, and the group watches Nakamura and the other boy do simultaneous flips across opposite sides of the mat, finish with a spin, and salute each other, before collapsing into laughter. “Does Chris do gymnastics?”
“No,” Laken says, before Ben can answer. He glances over at them and they shake their head, minutely, barely a motion.
The redhead starts to jump up and down, his hands flapping in the air, spinning in circles, as Nakamura laughs and runs over to him, saying something. The two high-five and hug before the redhead starts bouncing up and down again, clearly proud of himself, proud of Nakamura, just fucking thrilled.
“Laken-”
“I said let it go,” Laken snaps, and Ben’s mouth snaps shut.
Mari says, hesitantly, “Chris never said he did gymnastics.”
“Chris’s name isn’t Tristan fucking Higgs, either,” Will points out.
On the video, Nakamura’s voice is back. “We used to do that all the time. I’ve got about three more I’ll probably post. For the longest time I couldn’t even look at them, but
 I don’t know. He was so fun. Rest in peace, man. We still miss you.”
“That can’t be him,” Will says, pulling his legs off of Mari’s lap and leaning over. Becka pauses with the screen stuck on the jumping, happy teenager, his hands blurred mid-motion. “That can’t be. Chris isn’t named Tristan.”
“He’s also not fucking dead,” Mari says, breathless. “But-”
“But it looks just like him, he even does the, the thing with his
” Will hesitantly flaps his hands by example. “When he’s happy. Just like that.”
“His hair’s red at the roots, too,” Brooke says, a little thoughtfully, nervously. “Um. Chris is adopted, right? Maybe
”
“Nobody changes a fucking teenager’s first name,” Will says, shaking his head. “I’ve met his brother, he wouldn’t do that. He’s like a giant teddy bear person. If Chris wanted the fucking Ritz that guy’d try and buy it for im. But, like, what do we know about Chris?”
“Not much,” Ben says, staring at the screen, stomach flipping. Ben knows more than anyone but Laken, thanks to Dylan being a fucking piece of shit about the pet thing. And he knows, he thinks, what he’s looking at now. “But-”
“I’m done with this,” Laken says abruptly, pushing themself to their feet. “You guys keep playing fucking detectives all you want, but that’s not Chris. I’m out.”
The group stares after them as they leave, and there’s a long, long moment of silence that draws awkwardly out, everyone trying to see if someone else will be the first person to speak next. 
“Um, I’m-... I’m gonna go talk to them,” Ben says, grabbing his book on the way out, catching Laken just outside the elevators. “Hey, wait-”
“No,” Laken says, hands in their pockets, jammed in there like they’re trying not to choke someone. “Go back in there, Ben.”
“That is Chris,” Ben says, soft and insistent. “That’s him before they-... before he was-”
Laken doesn’t answer him. Their jaw sets, and the black eyeliner seems to make them look flintier, hardened. “We don’t know that.”
“Yeah, Laken, we absolutely do. You telling me that smile isn’t one hundred percent your boyfriend’s smile? You going to tell me there’s some other identical fucking redhead who stims like that when he’s happy who was at a gym literally across town, whose friends from then think he’s fucking dead, and it’s not your fucking boyfriend, who was oh just coincidentally a pet for some rich asshole-”
“Don’t say it,” Laken snaps. “Don’t you fucking dare say it.”
“We should show him the video, Laken.”
“No.”
“What if it-... what if it helps-”
“What if it doesn’t?” The elevator dings and the doors open. Laken pushes away from Ben and steps inside, turning to stare at him, their expression baleful and oddly vulnerable, both at once. “What if it just makes shit worse for him? He’s-... he already has these nightmares
 Don’t you think Chris has had a hard enough fucking time without us throwing that shit in his face, Ben? His past doesn’t belong to us.”
“Show his brother, then,” Ben says, and Laken looks away from him as the doors start to roll closed. “Show his brother, okay? Please? Promise you will, it might help Chris to see-”
Laken doesn’t look back up. The doors cut them off from view and Ben watches the floor count tick down as it moves, before he turns and goes back to his room, flopping bonelessly on the bed.
“God damn it.” 
That was definitely Christopher fucking Stanton in that video.
Wasn’t it?
Ben pulls his phone up, lying on his back, and types into the search bar, Tristan Higgs gymnast. Some old scores and meets come up, but no pictures. Nothing he can use. Then he deletes that search and types instead, Tristan Higgs death.
What pops up first is an old news article from fucking years ago about some kind of double-homicide after a break-in. Ben reads it, staring at the words, but something like dread slowly closes its claws over his heart.
The sole survivor of the attack was the couple’s fifteen-year-old son, Tristan, who has been placed in the care of relatives while law enforcement follows a series of tips

Ben finds a Facebook page for the gym that was in the Nakamura video. Now that he’s started, he can’t stop. They have an Instagram, and he scrolls and scrolls and scrolls and scrolls. He must sit there for a goddamn hour looking at fucking gymnastics bullshit he doesn’t care about. But then he finds it-
Throwback Thursday: the whole crew has pizza at Vanni’s Pizzeria after a great meet back in 20XX!
There he is, right there towards the front with Nakamura’s arm around his shoulders, shorter and significantly more muscular, with a bit of red hair flopping over one eye.
Christopher fucking Stanton, smiling at something just to the left of the camera, just like Chris always does.
He screenshots the photo and sends it to Laken. They send back, pretty sure I told you to go fuck yourself Benji.
Ben waits. Thirty-five seconds after that, Laken sends another text.
Okay. I’ll show Jake.
Ben tells himself to close the apps. That he has reading to do, and other things to care about. Then he spends the next five hours learning everything he can about Tristan Higgs, anyway.
---
Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @slaintetowhump , @astrobly @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @moose-teeth , @cubeswhump , @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @orchidscript
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mcyt-transcribed · 3 years ago
Text
youtube
transcript of “where I've been”
TW for discussion of cancer and Covid-19
 Here’s the Google Doc link or you can click on the read more.
Techno: Yo, Technoblade here with another upload, oh my God I can’t believe it. We’re back, we’re playing Bedwars, uh, I don’t know why I said that in the present tense because I actually recorded these Bedwars games a few days ago. I have- I’ve played like, almost no Bedwars since the win streak, which was like, I dunno, years ago - so, you know, forgive me if I’m a little rusty. These are literally just the first three games of Bedwars I played, recorded them, and then just threw them in this background footage because, you know, I like live commentaries a lot, but I feel like sometimes, when you have a topic to talk about, having to play a video game simultaneously can sorta- it can sorta detract from the commentary, you know?
But before that: a plushie commercial filmed on my iPhone.
We got the first one - it’s Technoblade. He’s in a flying pose. He’s flying to save some civilians or he’s falling flat on his face. Depends on who you ask. Alright. We got the- We got Technoblade. He’s sitting down. He’s- He’s seated. He’s seated. It’s incredibly exciting. Uh, we got- we got Technoblade but he’s- he’s a giant- he’s a gigantic pillow. It’s Technopillow. This is actually- This is actually really- This is really soft. You’re gonna have to take my word for it.
These plushies go on sale on September 3rd at 3 PM EST at youtooz.com. The last ones sold out in around eight hours, so be prepared. I mean, one of them was like, two minutes but ehhh, it’s not happening again.
So where has Technoblade been? I know I’ve been gone since like, June. I was actually being really productive in July, which I know you guys are gonna- You’re not gonna believe me when I say that because I made no content. But I was! I was, you gotta believe me, okay? I was getting so much work done IRL; I was like, filling out paperwork, making business moves, working on merchandise, buying new equipment to make new videos. ‘Cause I really wanted- I really wanted to increase the rate at which I was making videos, ‘cause I kinda spent- You know, I kinda spent like, all this time becoming a famous YouTube and then instantly like, stopped uploading. Which, I mean, to be fair, I guess that started more in like 2018. So, that’s more just a pattern now.
 But I figured, you know, this whole thing where I go two- you know, one or two months without uploading- I don’t want that to be me, man. I wanna be uploading at least once per week. So I spent a lot of time preparing to do that. And the plan was that I would start doing that in August, but I took a- It didn’t- It’s, uh- It’s not going great, I’m not going to lie to you.
So in the last two days of July I noticed that my right arm was starting to hurt a decent amount and I thought- My best guess was that it was some kind of repetitive stress injury, ‘cause you know I’ve been playing video games since the age of like, five. It’s pretty much nonstop. I was gonna get carpal tunnel at some point but, uh, I took a few days to rest my arm and it really didn’t
 really didn’t feel any better after that. And so after a few days of that, I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed that my right shoulder was starting to swell like crazy and I was like, “Oh my God! I must’ve broken a bone, this is-” I mean, this- It looked- it looked crazy.
So, you know, the next day - August 2nd - I, uh, headed over to the doctor to see what was wrong and uh, they ran a couple of scans and then they came back and they told me that, uh, the reason my arm hurts is because I have cancer.
That really couldn’t have gone worse, I don’t think. I feel a bit silly talking about this with, uh, Minecraft in the background; it feels a bit out of place. But I’m a Minecraft YouTuber - I don’t- I don’t do a face cam. Which is I guess how most people would talk about serious things, with a face cam. I also probably, uh- *chuckles* Also probably a bit weird to plug my merchandise in the- in the same video, like, “Hey, guys, I have a- I have a terrible disease, also buy my plushies, bro.” But uh- *laughs* Listen: I’ve been waiting so many months to sell those plushies, bro. And it keeps getting delayed and now cancer thinks it can stop me. No no no no no. I’m trying to make some bank, bro. I wanna get paid, also they look fantastic, I mean just look at them, they look incredible. Alright?
I mean, I guess it would be ideal to like, split up the announcements, but I’m going back into chemotherapy next week; I don’t got time for this, man. We gotta go!
To be fair, I could make this a lot weirder; I could have like, the thumbnail be a giant red arrow pointing to my tumor with the caption “Might die! Not clickbait!” *laughs* Yeah, just the ultimate- the ultimate YouTuber, bro. We’re clickbaiting the whole process.
So after the scans come in, I get transferred to another hospital which has an oncology award, so it’s a lot more specialized towards what I need. And I’m sorta like sitting there in the bed for a couple of days like, “Hello. Could I please get some healthcare? Could I- Could I just get a- Could I just get a crumb of healthcare? Please! Like, I *stutters* I wanna see people sprinting, you know? I feel like I want to see some urgency, you know? If you guys gotta- *stammers* You know, there’s like, this tumor on my arm - if you guys could just- if you guys could just get rid of it. Just get rid of it right now! Could we just go? If you gotta cut off my arm, cut off my arm, bro - do what you gotta do. I won’t complain, man, I’ve won enough Minecraft tournaments. I’ll just play Minecraft with my feet from here on out, bro. I’ll still be B tier at least, okay? It’s fine. Do what you gotta do.”
But then the doctors are telling me, “Oh, well, we can’t- we can’t do it immediately. We gotta- We gotta find out what it is, we gotta run some tests, do a biopsy.” I’m like, “Okay, do the biopsy.” Like, “Oh, well first we gotta do some scans.” I’m like, “Alright, dude, the scans.” And so it took a couple of days and then they did a biopsy, uh, three days later. And then I was like, “Alright. Let’s go!” And they were like, “Oh, well, the biopsy is gonna take like, a week or more to get back.” And I’m just sitting here like, “Bruh, please. Please, just treat me.”
I mean, it makes sense. It makes a lot of sense and I’m sure they know what they’re doing, but I’m just sitting there in the hospital like, “Please. Please, healthcare.” So they get the biopsy and they send me home and they’re saying like, I’ll come back in like a week or so when they have a treatment plan prepared, and so I- It was a very fun week at home ‘cause I was sitting there still not getting treated and I was just like, looking at my tumor like, “Alright, Mr. Tumor. You know, you need me to survive so it’s in your best interest to just- to just chill out for a little bit, you know? We don’t wanna go too crazy.”
And faintly- Faintly if you strain your ears, underneath my skin you can hear:
[Dream’s speedrun music plays for a few seconds]
Techno: Yeah, it was a really fun week. But I did finally get started on chemotherapy, which is a wonderful process. Let me explain chemotherapy. So basically uh, you know how society has progressed for thousands of years of technological and medical innovation? So basically, one of the top three ways we have to fight cancer is uh, for you to go to the hospital and then they uh, plug you into a machine and then they inject poison directly into your veins for several days. That’s uh, that’s one of the best ways we’ve got of going about this and the poison- it’s supposed to kill the cancer - it uh, also kills things like, you know, blood. But ehhh, does anybody really need blood? I feel like it’s pretty optional, you know? Uh- *small laugh* Blood for the Blood God as it were, alright? Uh, I’ll take what I can get.
I, uh, you know, I used to have a channel meme- ‘cause back in the day- you know how my motivation always goes up and down in, like, cycles? I used to have a meme where whenever I’d get super motivated I’d, ya know, I’d start uploading, like crazy. I’d also do things like get a haircut. And, so, I joked that, uh, the less hair I had, the more I’d upload. ‘Cause that’s- the hair was holding me back. And so, if that’s still true, I gotta say, chemotherapy, that’s gotta be daily uploads or something, bro. *laughs* It’s gonna be- Chemotherapy Arc is gonna be fantastic for content.
Well, ya know, after I got diagnosed, I, uh, I’ve been making a lot of phone calls- ya know, informing all of my distant family members about the situation- and, I gotta say, of all the phone calls I’ve made, nobody took the news worse than my health insurance provider. They’ve been inconsolable for weeks. They were like, “You got what!? No!” 
I mean, I had no idea they cared so much. They’ve just- oh my God. I- I think they’re the real victims of this. I mean, could you imagine? Could you imagine? Like, look at me! I was a healthy twenty-two year old, I, like, barely went to the doctor, even for, like, regular appointments. I- I guess I went to the dentist, that’s the one thing I did. I was the freest paycheck they’ve ever seen in their lives. They could’ve been milking money off of me for decades. And then, bam, cancer, bro. *laughs* Oh, those poor guys. 
Uh, the one- the one favor I- I do wanna ask- If you guys could all do one small favor for Technoblade- uh, you know that coronavirus thing you been hearing in the news for the last couple of years? Uh, I want you guys to get rid of it. Just, uh, I want it gone. Just a couple days should be sufficient for you guys to do that.
No, but, seriously. I’m kind of, uh, immunocompromised right now, which means, uh, if a bacteria touches me or, like, a virus touches me, I will explode. So, yeah, uh, I wanna- get the vaccine, is what I’m saying.
I’m gonna get cancelled by the anti-vaxxers for saying it, but it’s such a good vaccine, bro. Pfizer got full FDA approval, this week, for people aged sixteen and up. I think you- you can also get it if you’re eleven to fifteen if you’ve got emergency approval or whatever. Uh, I mean, if you have any concerns, don’t listen to a Minecraft YouTuber, but, please, at least talk to a doctor. Because it’s- it’s so good bro. It’s so good.
The hospitals are currently getting flooded by unvaccinated people. I’m gonna go ahead and speak on behalf of all cancer patients when I say that it is incredibly annoying when the- when the hospitals are getting overworked by people dying of preventable diseases. I’m just saying- we got dibs on those hospital beds. So, ya know, you- you probably don’t- you don’t even want them really. You don’t even want to need them. So, I think the vaccine
 what is it? It, like, reduces the chances of you needing hospitalization from Covid by, like, ninety-six percent? I mean, it’s so effective, bro! Come on! I mean, you might still get, like
 I mean, you could still catch coronavirus, but, like, the symptoms are gonna be so much milder, bro, I’m just saying. Think about it. Think about it. Talk to a doctor.
I remember when I first went in for chemotherapy, A: I was thrilled, ‘cause, like, yo! Healthcare! Inject it into my veins, bro! Let’s go! But, also, like, the first couple of days were actually pretty chill. I was like, ‘Dang! This is easy, bro!’. And then it kicked in. And then it kicked in. My energy levels were zero; they were absolutely nothing. It’s hard to describe how tired I was, but I think my one example is- so they let me go back home. And after several days of resting, I had a virtual appointment with a doctor. And, so, they were, like, ‘Alright’. And I was just sitting there, like, ‘Wait a second. You guys want me to sit upright in a chair for an hour? What is this, the Olympics, bro? I’m going back to bed! What? What?’ *laughs* ‘Wha? Let’s calm down here. Sitting in a chair? Am I Superman? Like, come one, bro.’
As you can probably tell, I’m feeling a lot better right now. Which is, uh, I think that’s part of the process, is, uh, you get a little bit of recovery time to, uh, ya know, eat a lot of really good food- get the weight back- and get ready for the next round.
And, uh, before we go back for the next round, I’m gonna be playing a lot of video games, uh, making some content, seeing if I can get some more videos prepared, because, uh- I know people are gonna be like, ‘No! Technoblade! You don’t need to make videos for us! Please rest!’
Nah, this isn’t about you, bro. This is about me. I enjoy this, man. This is, like, one of the safest and most fun things I could be doing right now, bro, I’m gonna do it. I don’t know how much content I could make, ‘cause I’m kinda slow, but we’ll see. We’ll see.
I already have a video prepared for next week, uh, September third. You guys are gonna love it. It’s, uh, it was actually- it’s kind of, kind of an old video. It was, uh, from a few months ago, but it’s very good. So, yeah! You guys have that to look forward to. 
And, for the record, I know I’ve been complaining a lot in this video, but I just wanna clarify that the doctors I have are, like, insanely good, bro. I’m gonna be getting some of the finest healthcare in the world, so don’t worry about me too much.
I think the treatment has already started to show some results. I- I mean, it’s been so short of a time, so the results aren’t gonna be insane or anything, but, at the very least, the speedrun music has stopped playing. 
So, yeah, that’s where I’ve been and that’s what I’m gonna be doing for the foreseeable future. Wish me luck, and, uh, wear a mask, I guess. Ya know, standard coronavirus procedures. All that coronavirus stuff and like, getting vaccinated - that goes double for Californians, okay? But it helps everywhere.
Uh, that’s all I’ve got for today. See you guys next time!
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phroyd · 3 years ago
Text
One of our Great Comedians leaves us this day! Rest In Peace, Jackie! - Phroyd
Jackie Mason, whose staccato, arm-waving delivery and thick Yiddish accent kept the borscht belt style of comedy alive long after the Catskills resorts had shut their doors, and whose career reached new heights in the 1980s with a series of one-man shows on Broadway, died on Saturday in Manhattan. He was 93.His death, at Mount Sinai Hospital, was confirmed by the lawyer Raoul Felder, a longtime friend.Mr. Mason regarded the world around him as a nonstop assault on common sense and an affront to his sense of dignity. Gesturing frantically, his forefinger jabbing the air, he would invite the audience to share his sense of disbelief and inhabit his very thin skin, if only for an hour.“I used to be so self-conscious,” he once said, “that when I attended a football game, every time the players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.” Recalling his early struggles as a comic, he said, “I had to sell furniture to make a living — my own.”The idea of music in elevators sent him into a tirade: “I live on the first floor; how much music can I hear by the time I get there? The guy on the 28th floor, let him pay for it.”
The humor was punchy, down-to-earth and emphatically Jewish: His last one-man show in New York, in 2008, was titled “The Ultimate Jew.” A former rabbi from a long line of rabbis, Mr. Mason made comic capital as a Jew feeling his way — sometimes nervously, sometimes pugnaciously — through a perplexing gentile world.“Every time I see a contradiction or hypocrisy in somebody’s behavior,” he once told The Wall Street Journal, “I think of the Talmud and build the joke from there.” Describing his comic style to The New York Times in 1988, he said, “My humor — it’s a man in a conversation, pointing things out to you.”“He’s not better than you, he’s just another guy,” he added. “I see life with love — I’m your brother up there — but if I see you make a fool out of yourself, I owe it to you to point that out to you.”He was born Yacov Moshe Maza in Sheboygan, Wis., on June 9, 1928, to immigrants from Belarus. (Some sources give the year as 1931.) When he was 5, his father, Eli, an Orthodox rabbi, and his mother, Bella (Gitlin) Maza, moved the family to the Lower East Side of Manhattan, where Yacov discovered that his path in life had already been determined. Not only his father, but his grandfather, great-grandfather and great-great-grandfathers had all been rabbis. His three older brothers became rabbis, and his two younger sisters married rabbis. “It was unheard-of to think of anything else,” Mr. Mason said. “But I knew, from the time I’m 12, I had to plot to get out of this, because this is not my calling.”
After earning a degree from City College, he completed his rabbinical studies at Yeshiva University and was ordained. In a state of mounting misery, he tended to congregations in Weldon, N.C., and Latrobe, Pa., unhappy in his profession but unwilling to disappoint his father.Hedging his bets, he had begun working summers in the Catskills, where he wrote comic monologues and appeared onstage at every opportunity. This, he decided, was his true calling, and after his father’s death in 1959 he felt free to pursue it in earnest, with a new name.He struggled at first, playing the Catskills and, with little success, obscure clubs in New York and Miami. Plagued by guilt, he underwent psychoanalysis, which did not solve his problems but did provide him with good comic material.Nevertheless, he found it hard to break into the nightclub circuit in New York — in part, he claimed, because his act made Jewish audiences uncomfortable. “My accent reminds them of a background they’re trying to forget,” he said.
While performing at a Los Angeles nightclub in 1960, he caught the attention of his fellow comedian Jan Murray, who recommended him to the television personality Steve Allen. Two appearances in two weeks on “The Steve Allen Show” led to bookings at the Copacabana and the Blue Angel in New York.Mr. Mason’s career was off and running. He became a regular on the top television variety shows, recorded two albums for the Verve label — “I Am the Greatest Comedian in the World Only Nobody Knows It Yet” and “I Want to Leave You With the Words of a Great Comedian” — and wrote a book, “My Son the Candidate.”
After dozens of appearances on “The Ed Sullivan Show,” Mr. Mason encountered disaster on Oct. 18, 1964. A speech by President Lyndon B. Johnson pre-empted the program, which resumed as Mr. Mason was halfway through his act. Onstage but out of camera range, Sullivan indicated with two fingers, then one, how many minutes Mr. Mason had left, distracting the audience. Mr. Mason, annoyed, responded by holding up his own fingers to the audience, saying, “Here’s a finger for you, and a finger for you, and a finger for you.”Sullivan, convinced that one of those fingers was an obscene gesture, canceled Mr. Mason’s six-show contract and refused to pay him for the performance. Mr. Mason sued, and won.The two later reconciled, but the damage was done. Club owners and booking agents now regarded him, he said, as “crude and unpredictable.”
“People started to think I was some kind of sick maniac,” Mr. Mason told Look. “It took 20 years to overcome what happened in that one minute.”His career went into a slump, punctuated by bizarre instances of bad luck. In Las Vegas in 1966, after he made a few ill-considered remarks about Frank Sinatra’s recent marriage to the much younger Mia Farrow (“Frank soaks his dentures and Mia brushes her braces,” one joke went), an unidentified gunman fired a .22 pistol into his hotel room.A play he starred in and wrote (with Mike Mortman), “A Teaspoon Every Four Hours,” went through a record-breaking 97 preview performances on Broadway before opening on June 14, 1969, to terrible reviews. It closed after one night, taking with it his $100,000 investment.He also invested in “The Stoolie” (1972), a film in which he played a con man and improbable Romeo. It also failed, taking even more of his money. Roles in sitcoms and films eluded him, although he did make the most of small parts in Mel Brooks’s “History of the World: Part I” (1981) — he was “Jew No. 1” in the Spanish Inquisition sequence — and “The Jerk” (1979), in which he played the gas-station owner who employs Steve Martin.Rebuffed, Mr. Mason set about rebuilding his career with guest appearances on television. His new manager, Jyll Rosenfeld, convinced that the old borscht belt comics were ripe for a comeback, encouraged him to bring his act to the theater as a one-man show.
After attracting celebrity audiences in Los Angeles, that show, “The World According to Me!,” opened on Broadway in December 1986 and ran for two years. It earned Mr. Mason a special Tony Award in 1987, as well as an Emmy for writing after HBO aired an abridged version in 1988.
“I didn’t think it would work,” Mr. Mason said. “But people, when they come into a theater, see you in a whole new light. It’s like taking a picture from a kitchen and hanging it in a museum.”In 1991 Mr. Mason married Ms. Rosenfeld, who survives him. He is also survived by a daughter, the comedian Sheba Mason, from a relationship with Ginger Reiter in the 1970s and ’80s.“The World According to Me!” generated a series of sequels — “Politically Incorrect,” “Love Thy Neighbor,” “Prune Danish” and others — which carried Mr. Mason through the 1990s and into the new millennium.He published an autobiography, “Jackie, Oy!” (written with Ken Gross), in 1988. He also found a new sideline as an opinionated political commentator on talk radio. In the 2016 presidential campaign, he was one of the few well-known entertainers to support Donald J. Trump.Mr. Mason’s forays into political commentary caused him trouble. He was reported to have used a Yiddish word considered to be a racial slur in talking about David N. Dinkins, the Black mayoral candidate, at a Plaza Hotel luncheon in 1989. Mr. Mason was a campaigner for Mr. Dinkins’s opponent, Rudolph W. Giuliani. Mr. Giuliani said the incident had been blown out of proportion but nevertheless dismissed Mr. Mason from the campaign. Mr. Mason at first refused to apologize but did so later.
He drew attention for using the same word regarding President Barack Obama during a performance in 2009.Appearances on the cartoon series “The Simpsons,” as the voice of Rabbi Hyman Krustofski, the father of Krusty the Clown, confirmed his newfound status, and earned him a second Emmy. Not even the 1988 bomb “Caddyshack II,” in which he was a last-minute replacement for Rodney Dangerfield, or the ill-fated “Chicken Soup,” a 1989 sitcom co-starring Lynn Redgrave that died quickly, could slow his improbable transformation from borscht belt relic into hot property.“I’ve been doing this for a hundred thousand years, but it’s like I was born last Thursday,” Mr. Mason once said of his career turnaround. “They see me as today’s comedian. Thank God I stunk for such a long time and was invisible, so I could be discovered.”
Michael Levenson contributed reporting.
Phroyd
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beanie-beebo-writes · 3 years ago
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Chapter 6
You rolled over at around 2 AM for what seemed like the millionth time. Despite having no nightmares, you were plagued with hourly panic attacks that tore you from sleep. You didn’t even know what could have caused them; you had been doing so well since your last incident weeks ago. You felt so hopeless, and wondered if it was even worth the effort to sleep. Yet every time you tried to stay awake, your eyes drifted on their own accord. Without thinking too much of the consequences, you reached over and grabbed your phone and called Jensen. You were met with a series of grumbled responses. Before you knew it, he was at your door.
“Jensen, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking and didn’t know what else to do.” You said, half crying at your possible mistake.
“(Y/N), never be sorry for needing someone. C’mon, let’s lay down.” He said, putting an arm around you.
“Could we go on the couch for a bit instead? I kind of need to get away from my bed.” You asked.
“Sure.” Jensen said.
And there the two of you sat for several hours, until the sun broke across the horizon and the birds began to sing. You had both ended up falling asleep in what had looked like not the most comfortable positions, but it couldn’t compare to the restful sleep you had gotten. Your alarm in your bedroom woke you up around 5 AM, causing you to half stumble off the couch as you were intertwined between Jensen’s limbs. The small struggle caused Jensen to come around, waking up a little more when he saw you return from your room. You rubbed at your eyes and let out a large yawn.
“I know you’re gonna protest, but I think you should take the day off. You look like you could use it.” Jensen said, still on the couch.
“I don’t think I can afford that, Jensen. I just started working here.” You said.
“Well, maybe I could pull some strings for you. I could talk to Bob for you. I think he’d understand if I explained it to him briefly.” Jensen said.
“That’s the last thing I need is him knowing what I’m going through. He’ll probably let me go when he finds out.” You said, crossing your arms.
“Alright, I can spare the details. You just need a break, that’s all.” Jensen said. 
After some thinking, you realized he was right. The past few weeks had been rough on you. You were basically running nonstop, and it had finally caught up to you. And boy did you feel it.
“You don’t have to call Bob, I’ll do it myself.” You said. “You’re right, I’ve been running myself ragged. I just know as an adult, I have a responsibility to myself and my coworkers. I can’t afford to take time off etcetera etcetera.”
“That may be true but as Jared has told me, you can’t put an oxygen mask on everyone else if you don’t put one on yourself first.” Jensen said.
You sighed. “Damn, you guys are like Buddha.”
“It comes with experience, trust me.” He said.
After you called off for the day, you and Jensen spent the day watching whatever was on daytime TV, Netflix, and napping in between. If you could do this every once in a while, you wouldn’t complain. The refresher was nice and you even got some bonus time with Jensen. The two of you fit together like puzzle pieces; always comfortable around each others’ presence. It was something you hadn’t felt in a while with someone.
Around noon, Jared stopped by with some fresh lunch. You had been snoozing at the time so Jensen took it upon himself to answer the door for you. The two of them had been talking for a little bit before you finally woke up to the steaming aroma and the sound of talking.
“Remember when this was happening with you a long while back? It’s all I can think of.” You heard Jensen say.
“Yeah. She’ll pull through though, just like I did. I haven’t known her for that long, and I can already tell she’s one to reckon with.” Jared said.
You groggily opened your eyes and looked over to Jensen and Jared standing in your kitchen. The TV had still been playing quietly in the background, playing some infomercial on jewelry. You inhaled deeply and sat up, letting out a loud and satisfying stretch. Doing so caused the guys to look over. You clicked off the TV and stood up slowly, your joints cracking as you stiffened them.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Jared asked, still holding a large paper bag.
“Honestly? Like I could still use another nap.” You said humorlessly, still chuckling lightly.
“I bet. I brought you guys some food; figured you could use a nice hot meal.” Jared said while holding up the bag slightly.
“Thank you, maybe you could join us?” You asked, walking over to where he stood.
“Well, I didn’t bring enough for three.. But that’s okay, I just had lunch not long ago. Sure, why not?” He said.
He held the bag out for you to take, and you gladly accepted it. You set it on the counter and looked inside. Inside were two fancy grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, the ones held together with a toothpick and an olive. You smiled up at Jared, grateful to have found another good friend to confide in. Or at least, you hoped.
“Well Jensen, I say we dig in before it gets cold.” You said.
“Sounds like a plan to me.” Jensen said.
The three of you sat at your small kitchenette (Jared had to pull up an extra folding chair from whoever knows where you had it stashed), just happy to be in each other’s presence. You giggled as you observed Jared’s large stature cramped to the confines of the small-ish chair.
“Oh like you’ve never seen a giant man sit in a chair half his size before.” Jared snarked playfully.
“Actually no, I haven’t.” You said in between chuckles.
Jared smiled at you alongside Jensen. “It’s good to see you smile.” Jared said.
“I tend to agree.” Jensen said.
“Hard not to.” You said, mouth half-full of sandwich. “I don’t mean to intrude in any way, so let me know if I am. But earlier, I heard you guys talking about Jared going through something a while ago. So you’re telling me you both of you have gone through something similar?” 
“Yeah actually-” Jared said, sitting back into his chair. “-And you’re not overstepping at all, don’t worry. We wouldn’t have talked about it with you around if we thought it was something you didn’t need to know.”
“What he said.” Jensen said. “And yeah, Jared went through a bout of depression about five years ago. It happened when we were on set, actually. He has no shame on sharing it with others, but isn’t really ready to let everyone know about it just yet.”
“What got you through it?” You asked, intrigued.
“I know Jensen was talking about therapy before, and how it helped him. I know it’s going to sound like a broken record, but that majorly helped me get through it. That and a great support system.” Jared said.
“You two really are joined at the everything, jeez.” You said. “Jensen and I were actually just talking about therapy last week. I agreed to try it, but I’m just a little scared how it’s going to turn out.”
“It can be scary, especially since it’s new territory for you.” Jared said.
“So, what do you say it’s about time we schedule you for that therapist?” Jensen asked.
---------
One Month Later
You walked down a small hallway until you reached an ajar door that had the name "Mr. Roslin" on it, and knocked lightly. A man in his late forties was sitting at a small desk in a computer chair; he turned around and smiled.
"You must be (Y/N). Please, come in and take a seat." He said.
You walked into the decently sized room and sat on a padded chair several feet from the therapist. Mr. Roslin shuffled a few papers on his desk before turning back around with a notepad and pen in hand.
"So (Y/N), tell me more about why you're here today." He said.
"Well
 My friend.. er date.. said I would benefit from seeing you." You said.
"And why would they think that?" He asked.
You sighed. "Well, lately I've been having these.. panic attacks. Quite a lot of them actually."
"Have you had them before?"
"Many times, yes. Just haven't had one out of nowhere in quite a while."
"Hm. I think I have just the thing for that."
Mr. Roslin turns around in his chair and pulls out a sticky note from his desk. On it, he scribbles a few notes before handing it to you. It read: "5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste."
"Have you heard of grounding exercises before?" He asked.
You shook your head and stayed silent so he would continue.
"Grounding techniques or exercises are coping skills that keep you in the present. Let's say for instance, your thoughts or a panic attack are keeping you from doing a task at work. These exercises help you stay in the moment instead of focusing on those pesky thoughts or feelings." He explained.
"Oh wow, those sound useful.. Thank you." You said.
"Mhm. They are only useful though if you practice. That'll be your homework after this session, until I see you next. He said.
"Sounds easy enough. Thank you Mr. Roslin." You said.
"Don't mention it. By the way, have you ever been formally diagnosed previously?" Mr. Roslin asked.
"No sir, this is actually my first ever appointment to see anyone like this. I assume I have anxiety, as my doctor long ago said I may have it. He was the one who gave me the breathing tips." You admitted.
"I see. Just for your information, I'd like to know if knowing your diagnoses would help you in any way, or would you feel they would set you back?" He inquired.
"I feel the diagnoses could help explain some things, so you can tell me." You said. 
"It's only your initial appointment but from what I can tell so far based on our phone conversation and now, you have both anxiety and possibly a smidge of depression. It isn't uncommon in the psychiatric world to have both. They tend to work together to make your life more miserable. The depression tends to be more of the negative thinking (at least in your case), while the anxiety of course is the panic/anxiety attacks." He explained.
"The anxiety I figured; the depression I never thought of though. Will it ever get better?" You asked.
"With a lot of effort and time, you will find it a lot easier to cope with what you have, so yes." He said.
"That's good to know. And for the panic attacks, do you think taking up a new career can enhance them?" You asked.
"Certainly. New environments and added stress are definitely a factor. They should fade after getting adjusted. But if they don't come talk to me and we'll hash it out together." He said.
"Thank you for that, it's very helpful to be in the know." You said.
"Always; knowledge can be very powerful. Is there anything else you would like to discuss today?" He asked.
"Yeah actually, there is. With my.. date. I'm not really sure where we stand. We're moving at quite a fast pace, and I'm scared something is going to go wrong or something. My life usually works that way, and I know our relationship so far isn't exactly normal." You said.
"Well, have you talked with them about it?" He asked.
You paused for a moment; you hadn't thought to ask Jensen about anything besides that one time. It seemed to be a logical thing to do.
"It is okay to communicate these things in a relationship. If anything, the relationship will be stronger if you communicate how you feel and what you expect." Mr. Roslin said.
"You're right. I just.. I don't know. Wouldn't it be awkward to talk about those things?" You asked.
"It's only awkward if you want it to be, remember that. You could always phrase it something like.. 'I wanted to talk about our relationship. Where are you and I right now? Are we still dating, or are we looking for something more?'. Most importantly, let them know how you feel. If you're afraid, let them know." He said.
"Okay, I'll try those things." You agreed.
"Perfect! Unless you have anything else to discuss with me I'll write you in for another two weeks from now.  Does that sound good?" He asked.
"That sounds great Mr. Roslin, thanks for everything today." You said.
"No problem, take care (Y/N)." He said.
You walked out of the office and made your way to the curb where Jensen had parked his truck. You hopped inside and exhaled in relief.
"Well? How did it go?" Jensen asked.
"Actually, it wasn't that bad. He's pretty helpful; although I didn't expect homework." You said.
"Hey, taking care of yourself is hard work." He said, cupping your face in his hands. "And you've already taken the first step; you're doing great." 
You smiled and glanced at his lips before quickly giving them a peck. 
"Hey Jensen?" You asked.
"Yeah hun?" He responded.
"There was actually something I wanted to talk to you about." You said.
"Like what?" He asked, gently pulling away from you.
"Us. I wasn't sure for a bit, but I think I'm scared. Something always goes wrong in my life, and I would hate for it to be us. I'm not breaking up with you or anything, I'm just unsure. I mean, I can tell you like me, but in what way? Where are we taking this? Is  it even going to go anywhere?" You asked.
Jensen was taken aback at all this information at once; he raised his eyebrows.
"Wow, uh. I guess we do need to talk." He said. "To repeat what you said: yes, I do like you. Hell, I like you a lot. That part, is never going to change, as far as I can tell. We can go wherever you want with this. If you want it to be a fling, let it be a fling. Although, I would really prefer something more than that." Jensen explained.
"Wait.. you would?" You asked, eyes lighting up.
"Yeah! I mean, if that's okay with you of course." Jensen said.
“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.” You said.
You grabbed Jensen’s face gently and gave him a passionate kiss, pouring all of your emotions into him. He responded gently, meeting the same level of passion without being too rough. In that moment, everything felt good. You knew it wasn’t perfect, but you had faith in both the man in front of you and where he was guiding you.
End
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linkfms · 4 years ago
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☠    *   what  is  up,  party  people  !    i’m  jojo  (  she/her  ),  23,  and  in  the  pst  timezone.    it’s  been  a  while  since  i’ve  been  in  a  group  so...  pls  bear  with  me.    anyway,  under  the  cut  you’ll  find  more  info  on  resident  emo  boy:  link  !   i’m  so  excited  to  write  with  u  all,  and,  if  u  ever  want  to  plot  give  this  a  lil’  like  or  send  an  im  over  @  yea right#4256  !
lincoln  “link”  seong  was  spotted  in  the  fashion  district  adorning  prada  combat  boots,  with  some  airpod  pros  on.    they’re  most  likely  listening  to  when  you  were  young  by  the  killers.   you  may  know  them  as  @hyperlink  or  as  that   jeon  jungkook  lookalike.    their  twenty - fourth  birthday  just  passed.    while  living  in   tribeca,   they’ve  gained  a  bit  of  a  reputation.    they’re  known  to  be  erratic  but  on  the  other  hand   vehement.    wonder  if  they’ll  be  the  next  person  to  hit  the  headlines.   (  cis male  &   he/him  )
↳     THE  BASICS:    STATISTICS.
full  name:   seong  hyunjae  (  성  í˜„ìžŹÂ  )    /    lincoln  seong.
nickname:  link,  and  will  probably  only  answer  to  link  !
age  &  date  of  birth:   24  &  november  21,  1996.
hometown:   born  in  busan,  south  korea,  but  moved  to  jefferson,  connecticut  in  2006.
current  location:   tribeca,  new  york.
education:  completed  high  school  and  attempted  first  semester  of  university,  but  decided  to  pursue  music  instead.
occupation:   drummer  for  indie/alternative  rock  band,  my  time  (  sound  is  similar  to  bands  like  the  killers,  the  1975,  and  paramore  ).   also  is  an  affiliate  with  an  esports  organization  !   doesn’t  play  competitively,  but  streams  and  creates  content  for  them  weekly.
sexual  orientation:   pansexual  &  panromantic.
gender  &  pronouns:   cisgender  male  &  he/him  pronouns.
↳     THE  BACKGROUND:   BIOGRAPHY.  (   tw:  mentions  of  alcoholism  &  abuse  )
seong  hyunjae  (  later  given  the  english  name  lincoln  seong...  thanks  linkin  park  !   )   was  born  in  the  heart  of  busan,  south  korea.    his  parents  married  at  the  age  of  21,  due  to  the  cultural  expectations  of  having  a  child  born  out  of  wedlock.    while  things  seemed  to  be  smooth  sailing  for  a  while,   the  couple  realized  the  real  struggles  of  adulthood.   financial  issues  came  into  play.   stress  from  working  multiple  jobs  every  single  day  took  a  toll  on  their  mental  health,  as  well  as  their  relationship  with  each  other.   link’s  mother  began  to  develop  an  alcohol  addiction,  and  her  abusive  behavior  came  following  after.   their  home  was  falling  apart,  with  four-year-old  link  falling  asleep  to  muffled  screaming  and  glass  being  thrown  on  the  next  room  over.   his  father  was  able  to  withstand  it  for  a  while,  but  he  drew  the  line  after  coming  home  from  work  to  see  large  cuts  on  the  side  of  his  son’s  thigh,  and  a  bruise  forming  across  his  cheek.   that  was  when  he  knew  his  wife  was  dangerous.    so,  one  night  when  lincoln’s  mother  as  at  work,  he  packed  his  belongings,  grabbed  link,  and  left  without  looking  back.
for  a  while,  it  was  just  the  two  of  them.    they  found  ways  to  make  it  work,  and  despite  the  fact  that  it  was  a  constant  struggle,  his  father  never  wanted  link  to  lose  his  childhood.    in  fact,  his  father  gave  him  everything  he  could  give   —   but  most  importantly,  as  cheesy  as  it  sounds,  his  unconditional  love  and  support.    as  someone  who  lost  his  own  parents  young,  he  made  sure  that  link  would  never  feel  like  he’s  being  deprived of  that,  ever.   they  created  this  tight-knight  bond  because  of  that,  which  can’t  ever  be  broken.   and  now,  link’s  fondest  memories  always  involved  spending  time  with  his  father.    one  favorite  memory  of  his  involved  morning  jam  sessions  after  breakfast.    link’s  father  was  previously  a  lead  guitarist  in  a  garage  band  with  a  few  of  his  high  school  friends,  so  while  he  was  playing  riffs  on  his  electric  guitar,  eight-year-old  link  would  be  banging  the  coffee  table  with  plastic  straws.   
when  link  was  about  ten,  he  and  his  father  sold  all  of  their  belongings  and  moved  all  the  way  to  jefferson,  connecticut  for  a  job  offer  that  he  couldn’t  refuse.   fast  forward  a  few  years,  and  he’s  a  teenager  in  high  school.    growing  up  link  was  more  of  an  introvert,  and  would  spend  his  time  in  the  computer  lab  playing  video  games  or  browsing  in  online  forums.   he  was  a  regular  in  this  my  chemical  romance  forum  (  under  the  username  @hyperlink  ),  and  made  a  lot  of  his  lifelong  friends  over  there.    one  of  his  online  friends  jokingly  suggested  one  afternoon  that  they  should  start  a  band  over  their  nightly  skype  call,  and  while  it  was  initially  shrugged  off  as  dream  more  than  an  arm’s  reach  away,  my  time  was  born.    link  had  to  endlessly  plead  his  father  to  buy  him  a  secondhand  drum  kit  off  of  craigslist  for  christmas.   but  once  he  found  it  under  their  tree  that  year,  it  sparked  this  drive  in  him  to  learn  and  practice  nonstop. 
their  first  official  band  practice  happened  a  day  after  link’s  high  school  graduation  (  which  was  also  the  first  time  everyone  saw  each  other  in  person  !   ),  and  they  spent  that  entire  summer  making  music.   at  first,  link  only  thought  of  it  as  a  hobby...  since,  he  was  attending  his  first  year  of  university  that  fall.   but  after  playing  their  first  few  shows  and  making  all  these  memories,   he  couldn’t  keep  the  band  in  the  backburner.   he  dropped  out  not  too  long  after  to  pursue  his  music  career  full-time.   moved  out,  spent  the  next  few  months  working  long  shifts  at  the  local  amusement  park,  and  shared  one  two-bedroom  apartment  with  his  bandmates.    one  of  their  songs  went  viral  one  crazy  night,   and  the  next  thing  they  knew,  they  were  being  signed  into  a  record  label.   now  ?   they’re  one  of  the  biggest  alternative/indie  rock  bands  out  there  with  multiple  platinum  records,  sold  out  world  tours,  and  millions  of streams  each  year.   their  time  finally  came.
↳     THE  INSIDE  LOOK:    PERSONALITY.
link  definitely...  gets  babied  a  lot   (  by  his  bandmates  and  his  fans  ),   and  he  uses  that  to  his  advantage  :]   because  of  that  he  gets  away  with   a  lot  of  things,  but  it’s  usually  with  things  that  are  small  like  eating  the  last  slice  of  pizza  and  it  would  be  justified  with  “  no  he  is  a  growing  BOY  he  NEEDS  it  !  ”
that  being  said,  he  eats  nonstop.   the  guy  carries  a  sandwich  bag  full  of  cheerios  wherever  he  goes.   his  friends  know  that  if  they  can’t  finish  eating  something,  they  can  always  donate  it  to  link  for  a  good  cause.
when  my  chemical  romance  announced  their  reunion  tour  in  2019,  he  threw  his  phone  across  the  room  and  cried.   my  chemical  romance  (  with  green  day  and  linkin  park  as  a  close  second  !  )   are  his  all-time  favorite  bands,  and  a  lot  of  my  time’s  sound  is  heavily  inspired  by  them.
when  i  tell  u  that  this  man  is  so  chill,  i  mean  it.   like  things  could  LITERALLY  be  on  fire  and  he’d  be  like   “  just  throw  some  water  on  it  it’ll  be  fine  😎  ” ...  he’s  not  the  type  to  worry  about  things,  and  is  more  of  a  go  with  the  flow  type  of  person.   he  doesn’t  even  need  to  be  zooted  to  be  like  this.   KJFGDG
being  in  the  band  and  a  part  of  the  entertainment  industry  caused  a  small  shift  in  his  personality.   maybe  he  just  blossomed  ?   who  knows  !   but  because  he’s  been  exposed  to  the  rockstar  life,   he  was  able  to  open  up  more.   he’s  always  seeking  thrills,  big  or  small,  and  won’t  have  the  time  to  think  about  the  consequences  for  his  actions.  
because  the  my  chemical  romance  forum  that  was  once  his  second  home  shut  down,   he’s  since  moved  on  to  reddit.   social  media  isn’t  really  his  thing  (  and  his  fans  always  get  mad  at  him  for  posting  a  selfie  once  a  month  then  dipping  ),  but  catch  him  on  subreddits  making  comments  or  starting  fights  for  the  sheer  entertainment  of  proving  someone  wrong. 
this  might  sound  bad  but...  he  still  can’t  wrap  his  head  around  the  fact  that  he  isn’t  ?   financially  struggling  anymore  ?   even  if  he’s  already  bought  a  house  and  two  luxury  cars  for  his  dad,  he  still  gets  ticked  off  if  he  sees  something  small  like  an  APPLE   that  is  marked  a  dollar  and  a  few  cents  over  the  usual.   he  catches  himself  using  things  until  they’re  ABSOLUTELY  worn  out,  and  still  leeches  off  of  his  bandmates/friends  when  he  can.  <3   also,  if  something  is  broken,  he’ll  be  the  type  to  figure  it  out  and  fix  it  himself.
people...  don’t  exactly  remember  the  last  time  he’s  slept.   it  could  be  the  insomnia   (   it’s  definitely  insomnia,  thx  childhood   trauma  !   )  but  it’s  almost  gotten  to  the  point  where  he’s  afraid  to  fall  asleep  on  his  own.   he’ll  always  try  to  find  ways  to  sleep  in  someone’s  company,  even  if  it’s  just  him  crashing  on  a  couch  while  someone  is  watching  tv  right  there.   if  he’s  alone  though,  he’ll  always  try  to  find  ways  to  distract  himself  like  stream  for  10  hours  straight.
speaking  of  trauma...  he’s  also  scared  of  relationships.  after  witnessing  the  way  his  mother  treated  his  father,  he’s  cautious  of  history  repeating  itself...  but  with  him.  so  whenever  he  catches  himself  even  falling  for  just  a  little,  he  dips.
his  life  revolves  around  the  4  m’s:   marvel  movies,  minecraft,  music,  and  my  chemical  romance.   that’s  it.
a  link  😏   to  his  pinterest  !   also,  i  don’t  have  any  wcs,  but  if  we  plot,  i  promise  i’ll  use  my  big  brain  to  brainstorm  something  with  u.  <3
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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years ago
Text
Enchanted - Adam Sackler (pt. 3)
OMG it feels like it took me forever to write this part and im so sorry for that but i’ve been so busy with school and just life in general, i barely get time at the end of the day to even start my computer and do anything. but i finally finished this part and im so excited for the story to continue!! as always, feedback is welcomed!
ps: im so exhausted, i didn’t have time to revise it so it probably has a bunch of mistakes, pls forgive me!
series summary: You are casted as Giselle in the Broadway adaptation of Enchanted with Adam as Robert.
word count: 3.9k
Part 1 - Part 2
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Chapter title: Princess
First rehearsal on the stage is thrilling for you, because even without an audience, the place has a special energy that hits you right at the moment you walk out. There’s no real set just yet, only a few props to signal where things will be placed once the designers are done.
Today’s walkover is about the date scene with Clyde aka prince Edward and you are excited to put your dancing shoes aside for just a little while, even though you know once this rehearsal is over you’ll have one with Matt and Adam for the ball scene, your absolute favorite. Trevor explains how he envisioned the scene to go, with the moving and changing set to make the audience feel like the two of you are walking through the city.
Working with Clyde has been the easiest so far. He is a genuinely nice and caring person, who obviously tries to put one hundred percent into everything he does, making it a real pleasure to work together with him. He definitely has the looks to play a prince, tall, tanned with a charming smile and luscious curls that bounce with every movement he makes with his head. You keep thinking about how he is basically what you would say to be your type, inside and out and you are actually surprised you haven’t fallen for him the moment his hand touched your waist. You like to think you’ve grown enough to contain your emotions.
“Have you had any costume fitting?” he asks as the two of you stand on the stage, scripts in hands while Trevor is discussing something with his assistant.
“No, but Misha has sent me a few previews. Have you?”
“Yeah, I had one yesterday. Can’t wait to step on stage in tights,” he grins making you chuckle.
“There’s no prince without tights.”
“Definitely,” he nods. “Anyway, your vocals are extremely on point.”
“How do you know?” you ask narrowing your eyes at him. You haven’t had any vocal lessons together, just solo ones.
“Cynthia showed me a recording last time, I was trying to learn the harmonizing and it helped to hear you too.”
“Oh,” you nod. “Well thank you, I’m sure you sing just as well too.”
“I’m trying, but no doubt you’ll be the star,” he smirks and you feel a blush warming your cheeks.
Rehearsing with Clyde feels like when you and Lora used to hang out in high school, just goofing around while trying to get your homework done. It’s productive, because you do what you are supposed to do, but you also keep making each other laugh with the constant joking and messing around.
After rehearsals you decide to check out the canteen for a late lunch together and it’s a suitable choice since your dance rehearsal with Adam starts in an hour so you have to stay around to be there in time.
“You can’t be serious,” you gasp, watching him dip his pickle into mayo.
“It’s a delicacy,” he chuckles before taking a bite and you actually feel yourself shiver.
“Oh my God, you are a psychopath!” you laugh shaking your head at him.
“Nah, I just have a sister who ate some really weird shit when she was pregnant, and I tried some out. This one turned out to be pretty good.”
“My statement still stands. Psycho,” you joke.
When a familiar tall figure appears you spot him right away even from just the corner of your eyes. It doesn’t take long for Adam to spot the two of you since the canteen is not big enough to make it hard for anyone to see who’s really there.
“What a coincidence!” Adam cheerfully greets you standing at the table. Clyde hops to his feet as their palms meet and they do that typical half-hug thing men always do. Then his eyes wander over to you and you let a smile take over your lips.
“Hi Adam, ready to dance?” you ask as he snatches a chair from the table next to yours and he sits down.
“I was born ready! Hope your feet don’t break easily,” he jokes and you just shake your head chuckling.
“It’s not fair you two get the pretty dance while I’ll be in the background in tights,” Clyde sighs, but you know he is just furthering the joke.
“Clyde is not too excited about wearing tights, as you can see,” you explain to Adam who understandingly nods.
“I’m just saying, that out of the three of us,” he says gesturing around the table, “I’m definitely not the right one to wear tights on stage.”
“You’re right, I have nice thighs,” Adam nods and you can’t help but start laughing loudly. Somehow the image of him wearing tights is just so absurd you’d really love to see it.
Clyde sticks around for a little longer, the three of you having a nice conversation, a normal one which is surprising given the fact that Adam is present, but maybe this is the proof that he can be normal sometimes too. Then Clyde needs to leave and once he is out of the canteen Adam turns to you.
“Clyde wants to fuck you,” he simply says and you almost choke on your apple juice.
“Excuse me?” you manage to get out between coughs.
“What? Did you not notice how hard he was trying?”
“He wasn’t trying, he was just being a nice, normal person. You could try it,” you grimace at him. So much for being normal for once.
“Oh come on! I bet he’ll nut tonight thinking about you.”
“Would you stop unloading your dirty fantasies on me? Not everyone is as kinky as you. Most people don’t make a whole film about their relationship filled with all the sexual details.”
“Holy fuck, you watched the whole film!” he gasps happily and you immediately regret opening your mouth. You really should have thought about what you say. “How did you like it?”
“Honestly, I have no idea how you got away with making it, if I was your ex I wouldn’t have let you make it.”
“She saw it.”
“I bet she loved it.”
“She loved it when it happened in real life and I didn’t lie in the film,” he shrugs and the blush is back on your cheeks as you think about everything you saw in that film. The most intimate moments of a quite passionate relationship were revealed right in front of you and if you are being honest, you felt like part of it by the end, no matter how disturbing it was to see Adam in such scenes.
“I’m actually surprised you watched it.”
“Why? You were nonstop bugging me to watch it.”
“Yeah, but I thought you wouldn’t.”
“Well, I did and the trauma can’t be undone now,” you give him a look and checking the time you see that if you don’t leave now you’ll be late and Matt will be furious at the both of you.
You manage to dodge any further questions about the film as the two of you head for rehearsal, though you can tell he is curious about what you really think. It was definitely not a good idea to bring it up right before rehearsal, because now you have to get through 90 minutes pressed up against him, dancing to an incredibly romantic song, staring dreamily into each other’s eyes. Not ideal.
The song is critical. Not because it’s that bad, but because you are a real sucker for the kind of music in movies that could make you cry because they are so perfect for the scene. You’ve seen the movie way too many times and dreamed about dancing with that one person, but you never thought you’d actually dance to this song with someone and that person is now Adam.
It’s all fun and games when you are just learning the basics, not even touching, just standing in a line with Matt in front of the mirror and dancing like you have an imaginary partner. You keep peeking at Adam in the mirror and he is not that bad, in fact, he is doing great so far, you don’t know why he said he is not a good dancer.
“Okay, ready to combine?” Matt claps his hands, wiggling his eyebrows as he takes a step back, giving the two of you space to get close.
You hesitantly turn to Adam who closes the distance with one long step, standing right in front of you. Looking up at him you remember Lora’s comment on his height when it will be like to kiss him and you quickly furrow your eyebrows trying to get rid of the thought.
“What’s the look for?” Adam smirks down at you, tilting his head to the side gently.
“Nothing,” you purse your lips.
Matt helps you find the right position, Adam’s palm feels warm on your back and you suddenly wish your shirt was a bit thicker, covering you better. You feel his defined muscles under your palm on his shoulder and your eyes linger a little longer at the way your hand gets lost in his hold.
You first try it without the music, mostly both of you staring down at your feet to make sure you are doing the steps right and Matt gives you time to adjust, but you can’t keep your head down forever.
“Alright, let’s make a try and this time try to look into each other’s eyes at least half the time,” Matt requests and you bite into your bottom lip, trying to control your nerves. This is just dancing with Adam, the weird guy who made a kinky film about his past relationship, remember? He is weird!
But he is so tall and his eyes are so dreamy and his hands are

“Okay, five, six, seven, eight!” Matt’s clapping interrupts your thoughts as you start the choreography again.
You have to watch your feet at first so you know you’re heading in the right direction, but a few steps later you force yourself to bring your gaze up and your eyes meet his.
It just hits different. Being so close to him, feeling his touch on your back and palm, you suddenly feel a strong urge to run your fingers through his hair and you almost do it before you tell yourself to behave. There is just something in him that makes your whole mind stop working properly even though you have a pretty strong opinion about him and the kind of man that he is.
For a spare second you even forget to breathe as you are staring into his eyes and there’s a feeling in your guts that you just can’t identify and before you could get further in this sensation Matt’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.
“Amazing, this will look fantastic!”
You force a small smile to your face as you look at the choreographer and he brought you back to reality just in time.
You try to lock this feeling up in the remaining time so you don’t embarrass yourself with something. The last thing you need is to say something that gives away the conflict you are having in you.
“You’re always so fast to leave!”
Adam’s voice stops you when you are already out in the hallways, ready to leave and stay unnoticed, but that last part apparently did not work. Wrapping your hands around the strap of your bag you turn around and see him heading in your way with long steps, his hair flowing with him.
“Why should I be here without getting paid for my time?” you tilt your head with a half-smile and your comment makes him laugh.
“Good point. Do you have to be somewhere?” he asks catching up with you and now you are walking towards the exit side by side.
“Apart from my bed? Not really.”
“Great, then let’s get a beer or something.”
“It’s not a suggestion or an invitation, he states it like you’ve agreed on it weeks ago and you find yourself being quite okay with it.
Settling in a nearby place you order yourself the beer that’s been talked about, but Adam just sticks with iced tea and you give him a puzzled look for his choice.
“You said we are getting a beer.”
“Yeah, for you. I don’t drink.”
“What?”
“I’m a recovered alcoholic, I don’t drink,” he explains and now you have another piece of information about him that you put into your little Adam Sackler file in your head.
“So you are trying to get me drunk?”
“I’m not saying I don’t hope to have you spill something juicy about yourself, but I’m not forcing you to drink either.”
There’s a boyish smile playing on his lips and you roll your eyes at him as the drinks soon land on your table.
You find it amusing how fast he can make you forget about everything you’ve been thinking about when you thought about him, and make you see him just as this funny, carefree person who is sitting right across you at the table. He really is funny and it’s not just the beer that’s telling you this, he has a great sense of humor, he is especially talented in saying the funniest things with the straightest face, just staring at you like he is meaning every single word that leaves his mouth when you both know it’s all just bullshit.
“I’m honestly having a hard time figuring you out,” you sigh leaning back in your chair, fingers fidgeting with your second beer on the table. You’re definitely not drunk, just loose in the best kind of way.
“What’s so hard about it?” he tilts his head, genuinely interested in your answer.
“I don’t know, you are just
 It’s like you have these different personalities and I can never know which is the real one.”
“What personalities?” he chuckles at your theory.
“One is this funny, normal guy,” you start gesturing towards him. “Then there is the kinky bastard who spanks girls and then there is this mysterious, serious side that I always see in rehearsals.”
“Kinky bastard?” he chuckles, clearly enjoying the discussion. “You’ll never let go of the spanking, right?”
“It just doesn’t fit into the picture,” you explain.
“That’s because we never had sex and we haven’t spent that much time together outside of rehearsals. I’m working there, of course I’m being serious! That’s just how adults act in serious scenarios. But the rest is just simply me, a mixture of the things you just said.
“So you are just a funny, normal guy with a hint of kinky?”
“Probably more than a hint, but yeah,” he nods smirking.
Spending time outside of rehearsal really helps you see Adam as a whole, the mixture of the sides you’ve experienced from him and you feel like it has brought him closer to you as a person, a colleague and maybe as a friend. You find him an amazing company actually, a great partner to discuss different kind of things. He has a somehow different view of the world than you, but you also agree on many things and this creates the perfect base for an actually interesting and enjoyable conversation.
“Stop!” You gasp laughing as you try to get Adam off a pole on your way home after he decided he is strong enough to hold himself up horizontally on it, but he is just probably getting close to knocking it straight out of the ground.
“They should make these more massive!” he grunts jumping back to the ground.
“You are massive,” you snort as the two of you leave the poor pole and continue walking towards your building.
“I am. In all means,” he smirks at you and you imitate gagging. His dirty comments stopped bothering you, he kept sneaking in something inappropriate into the conversation throughout the night and you just kind of got used to it. This is how he is, a kinky bastard, but at least a funny one.
“You know, we should hang out more often,” he suggests galloping ahead of you and turning to face you he does a funny dance move that makes you laugh.
“Oh yeah? So I should spend my little free time outside of rehearsals with the same person I’m with all day?”
“We are not together all day,” he protest and you just chuckle, knowing well he is right, you just felt like exaggerating. “You didn’t have fun tonight?” he asks as he returns next to you, walking side by side.
“I did.”
“Great. Then we will spend more time together,” he nods and it’s not a suggestion anymore, he is stating it like the most certain fact ever.
You don’t protest.
 Sometimes rehearsals are like one big chaos, especially when everyone is present on the stage, all dancers and actors with the production staff, but there’s no other way to rehears the big dancing scenes.
Today it’s the park scene again, you are wearing another flowy dress Misha gave you, that resembles to the one you’ll be actually wearing, Adam is dressed in dark jeans and a black shirt, nothing extra, and he seems to be enjoying that everyone around him is doing their absolute best while he has to do that one lifting and nothing else, just follow you around the stage.
Clyde is at the back, he has only a little stage time as the prince is looking for Giselle in the park, so beside Adam he is the other person who doesn’t have much to do.
“How do you know he loves you?” you sing with a bright smile and big gestures, grabbing Adam’s wrist as you pull from one place to another, dancers following around, the scene constantly changing around you to make it look like you are on the move. “How do you know he’s yours?”
You catch Adam smirking and you already know he is thinking about something dirty, as per usual. You do the lifting and you feel his hand smacking your ass when he puts you down, no one notices, but you shoot him a glare to which he just smirks again.
“Okay, amazing. Take ten, we’ll see the final part a few more times!” Trevor instructs when the music stops and people starts flowing off the stage.
“Stop touching my butt,” you tell Adam, the two of you walking towards the edge of the stage.
“I can’t, it’s just always in the way,” he holds up two hands innocently and you just roll your eyes at him.
“Hey, do you guys have any plans for tonight?” Clyde walks up with a bright smile as he joins the two of you, fingers fidgeting with the water bottle in his hands.
“I’m babysitting my niece,” Adam answers running a hand through his hair.
“You have a niece?” you turn to him surprised.
“I do,” he simply nods and it doesn’t seem like he is about to share any more details so you turn back to Clyde.
“I’m free.” “Wanna go for a drink maybe or something? I’m so done sitting at home when I’m not here.”
“Sure,” you nod and watch Clyde walk away smiling back at you.
“He is still trying hard to get into your pants,” Adam scoffs and you turn to him with a grimace.
“He is not.”
“Oh he surely is. I’m pretty sure he thinks this is a date or something like that.”
“It’s not a date.”
“Tell that to him, because the dude is keen on fucking you, princess.”
You eventually give up trying to convince Adam about your truth, and you also realize you don’t owe him a word. You know what this really is and that’s all that matters. Adam can think whatever he wants, that still doesn’t make it real.
“So you’re really going out with him, huh?” Adam comes up to you once rehearsal is over. You glance up at him nodding while you’re packing your stuff up.
“Yeah, why?”
“I’m telling you, he thinks this is more than just casual drinking.”
“So then what?” you sigh, confused about why he is so worked up by the thought of you and Clyde having a few drinks. “I’m single, he is a nice guy, maybe I also think of it as more. Is that not an option?”
He genuinely seems surprised by your answer and it tells you he clearly didn’t think of this version. Frowning a bit he tilts his head.
“So that’s your type?”
“Stop using that tone, please,” you sigh zipping your bag and heading to the door, Adam following you right behind.
“Okay, I’m sorry, but still, that’s not how I imagined your type to be.”
“You often think about what my type is?”
“I did a few times, yes.”
“Then stop,” you sigh stopping and looking at him. “It’s not like you have a word in it or something. If you hate the idea of me and Clyde going out so much, just come. He invited you as well.”
“I told you, I’m babysitting my niece. My sister would lose her shit if I cancelled.”
“Then there’s nothing I can do for you. Just stop thinking about it,” you shrug, clearly over it, but Adam is not on the same page.
“Cancel on him.”
“Why would I do that?” you ask with a puzzled chuckle.
“Because
” he is searching eagerly for the right words, his hands anxiously tapping on his thighs. This is a waste of time, you think to yourself.
“See you at the next rehearsal, Adam,” you sigh walking away.
 Clyde is awesome. Clyde is exactly the person you imagined for yourself a little while ago, he is nice, funny and just overall a good person. You enjoy spending time with Clyde and you find him attractive, but

But something is just off and you can’t tell what it is.
Sitting in a bar with him that evening you can’t stop thinking about that one thing that’s making you not fall for him even though you know you should be. Adam’s words keep repeating in your mind about how he is not what he thought your type would be.
Of course he is my type! You basically tell yourself defiantly, cursing Adam out for planting such thoughts into your mind. Stupid Adam!
By the time you and Clyde part your ways you are pretty sure this wasn’t a date which is a relief, but it still got you thinking why you are so against dating Clyde. On your way home you catch yourself pulling your phone out of your bag to text Adam and tell him you were right when you stop in your way in the middle of the street.
“Are you stupid?” some random guy growls at you who almost bumps into you. Looking up you mumble a short sorry before looking back down at your phone.
Adam was all you thought about all evening, you saw him in everything Clyde said and now he is your first thought and the person you want to talk to. He sneaked his way into all of your thoughts and this is starting to feel concerning.
Adam is not your type. He just can’t be.
Clyde should be.
Not Adam.
Right?
Right?!
-
general/forever taglist for Adam Driver
i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Adam taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Adam fics!
@superdriver​ @siren-queen03​ @holacherrycola90​ @spencer-is-amazing​ @unusual-kindred-spirits @hailthemightywoecloud @holy-kylo-stars​ @kowalskibro-adamdriverblog​ @hurricanesunset​ @writerandee​ @luxury-0pps​ @prncess91​ @malefoygal​ @zaahidahhh​ @filternotincluded @fire-in-her-veinz​ @emily-strange @ktellmeastory​ @grouchosgirl​ @tapismyforte​ @unusual-driver-paterson​ @beeblisss​ @septicvic97​ @cackleifyou​ @gotiashley​
if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!
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