#the people who inherited the sorcery world might not be as bad as the original higher ups but they are NOT good

[nyan-bynary]

My controversial jjk take is that mahito should've remained the main threat/antagonist throughout the whole thing

[aaronsrpgs]

"Ancient World Fantasy" Reading List

(A little context to start. If you just want book recs, scroll on down to the first image.)

As I’ve been getting into RuneQuest (Wikipedia link), one striking component of the culture and community surrounding the game is that they’re very into the lore of its fictional world, Glorantha. I’m saying this as a comparison to a game like D&D, where the game is spread across tons of settings with no real sense of obligation to keep things in line with earlier editions.

Glorantha’s canon and worldbuilding has been going on since it was published in 1978 without, as far as I can tell, any big reboots. Which means that, unlike D&D, where people are bringing in all kinds of influences and doing direct adaptions of Jane Austen books and whatever, the RuneQuest game remains pretty tightly tied to the original setting. (There have been some exceptions. But not many!)

But since I run games for people who have ADHD or aren’t interested in studying up, I’ve been looking at all kinds of inspiration to drop into the game. Here are 20 novels that are roughly “ancient world” or “Bronze Age” like RuneQuest and deal with people interacting with strange gods, tight communities, and a world without fast overland travel or transferal of information.

I’m presenting them alphabetically by author’s last name.

The Brazen Gambit, Cinnabar Shadows, The Rise and Fall of a Dragon King by Lynn Abbey

I'm sorry for starting this post off with licensed RPG novels, but these are good! And I don't mean "good for licensed RPG novels." I've read tons of them, and most are so bad! But these are actually fun. Good character development in a sword-and-sorcery world. It's also an ecological apocalypse world, with godlike beings oppressing common folks, leading to a lack of technological advancement and knowledge of the past.

The Long Ships by Frans G. Bentsson

Written in the 1940s as a series of novellas, these stories take you on a tour of the Viking-era world, from Europe to the Middle East and beyond. Like a bunch of books on this list, this places them post-Bronze Age, so they're not officially "ancient world." But it gives a big spread of cultures, from the more clan-based Vikings to the bustling metropolises of Turkey. And it doesn't place any of them on any kind of linear advancement scale or whatever other gross way people "rate" cultures.

Tales of Nevèrÿon and Neveryóna by Samuel R. Delany

The master of weird sci-fi and gay historical novels, Chip Delany also wrote a fantasy epic. And it rules! Set on pre-historical(ish) Earth, these books describe the stories that maybe inform the myths we tell today? Dragons and slave revolts! A sort of "What if Game of Thrones was good?" series. Lots of good stuff about how people learn and how understanding expands.

I'm not listing the third book only because it's also a historical look at New York during the AIDS epidemic. It's an amazing book! But it strays from the "ancient world" aesthetic.

Baudolino by Umberto Eco

Another novel expressly set after the Bronze Age (this one starts in the 12th century). BUT it's about Medieval people's interaction with the knowledge they inherited from the past, specifically the myth of Prester John and the works of Herodotus.

I think I keep putting books like this on the list because roleplaying in a fantastical ancient world is not too far off from how Medieval people might have worshipped and referenced works from ancient Rome and non-European places.

Black Leopard, Red Wolf and Moon Witch, Spider King by Marlon James

One of our best living writers! These are fantasy novels expressly set in a fantastical version of ancient/Medieval Africa. The books explore the same events from multiple points of view and are full of cool magic, awesome spirit combat, and a vast number of places and cultures that actively deconstructs most games's portrayal of fantasy Africa as a homogeneous place.

The Wake by Paul Kingsnorth

I think Kingsnorth has been outted as a sort of eco-fascist? I totally believe it, so feel free to skip this one. It's a historical novel set in England in 1066, as the Normans invade from France. It's written in a faux Middle English language and focuses on the lower classes and how they try to resist the invasion. A good reminder that "Medieval culture" (and especially the Renaissance as a time that "culture advanced") is often based on certain classes of society, such as rich people and/or men.

Iceland's Bell by Halldór Laxness

Speaking of how class intersects with technological advancement, this book is set in the 18th century, but it focuses on Iceland at a time when it was ruled by Denmark, and the lower classes there were under an enforced poverty. It's a book about how a rich Icelander was trying to recover the stories of his people in order to create a sense of national identity and resistance. But it's also a story about how a destitute man acts like a total weirdo when he's not allowed to fish in his own waters and is cut off from understanding his place in history.

The Raven Tower by Anne Leckie

A big part of RuneQuest is people interacting with and enacting their gods. That's what this book is about! And it's about the strange vertigo that comes to people when they try to interact with the impossible timelines that gods exist on. Very good stuff.

Night's Master and Death's Master by Tanith Lee

Ostensibly set on Earth back when it was flat and demons roamed the world, which is basically RuneQuest. Sort of like a series of hornier, gay bibles? With lots of gender fuckery, fun sex, and cool monsters.

Circe by Madeline Miller

The story of the witch from The Odyssey, told from her point of view. Beautiful prose, tragic and beautiful characters, and a great share of mythical strangeness. Perfect if you want to learn how to run NPCs that are adversaries without being shallowly evil.

Ronia, the Robber's Daughter by Astrid Lindgren

Semi-Medieval again, but low class and vague enough that it could exist throughout ancient history. The daughter of a robber grows up in a tower full of robbers and generally has a wonderful time. Lots of weird monsters live in the woods, and there's a great starcrossed romance with someone from a rival robber gang. Perfect inspiration if you're running some cattle-raiding runs in RuneQuest; this is how to make robbers fun and sympathetic.

Read the book, watch the 1984 Swedish movie (which includes a great comedic scene of full-frontal dudity), and then watch the Studio Ghibli series.

A Stranger in Olondria and The Winged Histories by Sofia Samatar

Set in a world of pepper farmers and religious fanatics who worship a mysterious inscribed stone, these books do a great job of showing how people might interact with religion, rival cults, and mystery rites. It also portrays literacy and learning to read in places where it's gated behind social gatekeeping. And once again, the prose is beautiful.

The Palm-Wine Drinkard by Amos Tutuola

The first African novel published in English outside of Africa, The Palm-Wine Drinkard is a funny, hallucinogenic story about getting drunk, stumbling through weird landscapes, and encountering fantastical spirits and people.

Tutuola also wrote My Life in the Bush of Ghosts, the inspiration for the famous(?) David Byrne/Brian Eno album. I haven't read it yet, but I'm keeping an eye out!

The Green Pearl by Jack Vance

This is a sequel to Lyonesse, which I haven't read because I love staring in the middle of things. Set around a mythical British Isles when Atlantis was still above the sea and part of the group of islands. Some great wizard shit, warring clans, romance, and a wizard whose name is fucking Shimrod (in case you need more convincing).

Those are my 20 novel recommendations! I'm gonna come back to add some nonfiction, comics, and myth resources for running games in fantastical ancient worlds. You can read SpeedRune, my ancient fantasy game, here.

[three-houses-text-files]

annette/felix

c-a support + paired endings

c (i?)

Annette: ♪Today’s dinner is steak and then a cake that's yummy yum... Now it's time to fill my tummy tummy tum...♪ A: ♪Oh, this mountain of sweets, and treats that I long to eats... Oh, stacks of steaks and cakes and crumbs and yums...♪ A: ♪Goootta eat... ♪ Wha—! Ahem. Felix: I hope I'm not interrupting. F: Felix! You weren't listening, were you? F: I heard enough to know that you're hungry. A: No! I mean... Well, yes. At least tell me you didn't see the dance? F: You have nice footwork. F: Get something to eat. I can take over watering the plants. A: ... F: … A: YOU'RE EVIL, FELIX! F: And you're shouting. A: You can't just spy on people while they're singing without even saying anything! It's not right! F: I actually did call out that I was coming in. It's not my fault you didn't hear. A: Well... You need to speak louder, then! Ugh, this is so embarrassing... A: And of course I was singing some silly food song I made up. I should have been singing about...bears! Or swamp beasties! F: I didn't realize there were songs about bears and swamp beasties. F: That food song seemed to be close to your heart. Your stomach isn't far from your heart, after all. A: Oh, you are the worst! F: Huh. What was that about? F: I better water these plants. Wouldn't want them to get thirsty, or they might start singing too.

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c (ii?)

A: Hello, Felix. So, uh, it was your turn to clean out the greenhouse, right? F: Yes. A: Well, I went ahead and took care of it. I also cleaned up the warehouse. F: Why? A: I just wanted to...help you out...so that... OK, fine! I'm bribing you. So you'll forget! F: Forget what? A: Are you really going to make me say it? A: Before! In the greenhouse. I want you to forget what you saw and heard. A: If you agree to forget about it, I'll take your shift in the stables. Do we have a deal? F: No, thanks. A: No?! But that's not OK! You have to forget about it! Right this moment! F: I can't. It's permanently etched in my memory. F: A mountain of sweets, as well as steaks and cakes. Stacks of them, apparently. F: I’m also intrigued by those bear and swamp beastie songs you mentioned. F: Ah, and I've been meaning to ask about the move that went along with "crumbs and yums." Was that fencing footwork? A: Stop it, Felix! You're a villain! F: Hm? A: You think you're so funny? Keeping a straight face while mocking my singing and dancing! A: Well, you have to forget about it. Please! What if I make you a nice steak dinner? A: You like steak, don't you, Felix? It will be yummy. F: This isn't about steak. I just— A: Fine, be stubborn! Tell the whole world for all I care! I'll just learn to live with the funny looks I'll get from everyone. A: They'll all say, "There goes that Annette, the girl with the funny ideas about food!" F: You’re just the evilest of villains, Felix! I'll hate you forever and ever! F: Huh. I was just trying to be nice. F: "Funny ideas about food." Even the bullies in her head are ridiculous. F: I really don't understand that girl.

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b

A: ♪Oh, how I just love to clean. Clean the library room! Just takes a flash of light and then it all goes boom!♪ A: ♪A flash and then a big boom!♪ F: If you blow up the library, where will we put the books? A: ♪A flash and then a big—♪ Bah! What are you doing here, Felix?! F: I heard singing. A: You were watching me again, weren't you?! F: You shouldn't dance up there. You could fall. A: Oh, today of all days! I knew I should've chosen a different song... F: A different song? Like what? A: Any of them! The box song! Or maybe the dungeon song! F: Now those sound interesting. A: No, they're just regular songs! Oh, forget it. While you're here, can you help me clean up? A: I need the books on that shelf up there, but I can't reach them... F: Oh. Sure, no problem. F: What? You're not going to sing anymore? A: No way! It's too embarrassing! And that song isn't even finished, anyway. F: Ah, that's too bad. I wanted to hear what happened after the library was blown away. A: Hey... Don't look at me like that! OK, fine. If you insist, I'll sing just a bit more... A: ♪Oh, how I just love to clean. Clean the library room! Just takes a flash of light and then it all goes boom!♪ F: … A: ♪A flash and then a big boom, suddenly the deed is done! My! What a great job I did! Who says cleaning isn't fun?♪ F: Huh. That doesn't really explain what happened with the library. Maybe they'll build a new one? A: Ugh, this is so embarrassing...

——————————————————————————————

a

A: Phew! Now the flowers are all taken care of! A: Huh? Felix... Why are you hiding there? F: I’m not hiding. A: No? Then what are you here for? You don't even have a real reason, do you? F: No, I don't. A: Then why... F: Because of you. A: What?! What's that supposed to mean? F: I want you to sing for me. F: I hear your voice when I'm asleep, or in battle... It's like...it's like I'm your captive. A: My captive! What are you saying? Oh my, I'm suddenly really flustered... F: I can't help it... Ugh! I don't know what I'm saying. Forget I said anything. A: Felix! Are you...blushing? F: I don't know. Shut up. I'm not blushing. A: Um... F: Uh… A: Well! If you feel like that about it... I suppose I could sing for you sometimes. If you'd like that sort of thing. F: Oh? F: I’d better go. Bye. A: Hey, wait! You just got here... Do you want to hear me sing or not? F: Uh, yes. I do. A: Well, what song do you want me to sing? Bears, swamp beasties, boxes, or dungeon? F: I’d like to hear all of them. If you don't mind. Starting with the library song, in full. F: Sing for me. Please, Annette? A: Well... OK. Just this once...

——————————————————————————————

paired endings

After the war, Felix inherited the title of Duke Fraldarius from his late father, Rodrigue. Some time later, he married Annette, and the pair earned renown together by working hard at restoring their territory to and beyond its former glory. The people adored the pair: Felix for his fierce determination, and Annette for her boundless cheer. Years later, Annette threw herself into songwriting, and with the support and encouragement of her husband, she produced melodies that remained popular for generations. The lyrics became distorted over time, however, and the original meaning of the music was lost. (blue lions route)

After the war, Felix intended to abandon his noble title and make a living with his sword. On the day that he was to depart, however, he was waylaid by Annette, who begged him not to leave her behind. Instead, she proposed that they relocate to the Officers Academy when it reopened, and take up positions as teachers. When the school did reopen, it is said that the new sword instructor was notoriously harsh, but that he eventually learned to enjoy his work. He was seen to smile, on occasion, but only in the presence of the friendly professor of sorcery. (other)

[twitchesandstitches]

In the continuity of the crossovers, ficlets, original stuff and various AUs I like to write, I have an idea for the overall cosmology it takes place in. This is the multiverse, comprising the worlds characters might travel in and stranger realms from which magic and eldritch beings might originate, as well as many unique realms of no particular astral alignment but might make good plot hooks, brief adventures or sources of antagonists or treasures, or even answers relevant to a given story.

This cosmology is very much a work in progress and heavily inspired by a mess of different series - primarily the Great Wheel of 3rd Edition Dungeons and Dragons as seen in Planescape: Torment, aspects of 4th Edition D&D, whatever was going on in Exalted, and whatever else feels like an appropriate addition. Consequently any of this might change later on, and I welcome suggestions.

A few ground rules for how things work, on the scale of the regular universes the characters know. These are places that aren’t so different from the world we know.

On the current scene of things, the multiverse - and thus the casts - has only recently recovered from a catastrophic incident that occured about a thousand years ago, with brief flare ups resulting in further damage a little less than a hundred years ago. This has left many universes collapsed, arun with terrible monsters and destroyed civilizations; warbands of hopeful conquerors run rampant, and newly established societies struggle to gain a foothold, while roaming bands of nomads move from world to world. However, things are not all doom and gloom, as society is making a comeback and people are recovering, now exploring the ruins of the past to piece together what happened and restore lost technologies and arts.

The multiverse itself is still wounded; demons, cosmic horrors, world-eating abominations and mysterious entities of all kinds regularly invade the material realms and make a real nuisance of themselves.

The general tone is similar to Space Opera settings, with a dash of epic fantasy overlaid with sci fi aesthetics; grand and, well, operatic adventures in space, flying from planet to planet, battling with wicked warlords who command whole systems and entreating with ancient empires and vast galactic councils that all beings have a voice in. Battles and wars are fought with laser swords, rocket hammers and energy shields, with firearms shooting stuff like lightning, mini-rockets and chainsaw-grains instead of bullets. Power armor and mini mecha are ubiquitous among the more powerful factions, tending towards ‘mechanical exoskeletons’ in design.

Visually, as far as the stuff relevant to our characters is, the look is a little bit of a combination of post-cyberpunk space travel, with a hint of modern Mass Effect-style shininess, and a heavy dose of scavengerpunk. Spaceships are big, bulky, round and scarred by the ages. People wear leathers, hexagon-toned bodysuits, bulky spacesuit/exoskeletons, or whatever rags they can stitch together into something cool. (If you’ve ever seen Eclipse Phase artwork, you might get an idea.) Technology generally looks bulky, powerful and comically oversized for whatever it’s purpose is; evidently miniaturization was not in fashion before the big breakdown of things. Things mostly look like grand and glorious works of quasi-magical wonder, but worn down by the ages and scavenged, pasted back together and holding on with tape.

This is not universal, however. Certainly some newfound place of philosophy and enlightenment might harken to buildings of crystal spires that act as vast computers, the people wearing elegant lengths of cloth fashioned into togas and robes. The marauding warband trying to annoy them with loud music might wear bulky armor bolted together and painted red (BECAUSE IT GOES FASTER). And RIGHT NEXT to that, is a cyberpunk corporation world of gloomy spires, neon lights, and a lot of slots to plug your stuff into your body.

The overall technology level and series tone can be described as Warhammer 40k IF Mass Effect’s Paragon tone modified the setting to be less grimdark and stabby. (Alternatively, it USED to be super grimdark but the near destruction of all reality made things calm down a lot. All the people responsible for bad stuff got killed and the societies that enabled them were no longer relevant.) Minus the most destructive weaponry and world-buster bombs, barring caches of weaponry or automated factories that pragmatic factions or overeager warlords would just LOVE to have.

This translates roughly to a very high tech setting prior to the big catastrophe; technology capabilities are usually pretty good (to the point that space travel is pretty common for regular folks and not a national effort), but the most powerful and game-breaking things are the stuff of old civilizations, and are bitterly fought for and studied. Massive war ships that can destroy whole civilizations or legendary mech suits are irreplaceable and unique, because no one knows how they work or how to make more of them, due to the surrounding sciences no longer existing.

Modding. This refers to the use of biological alterations (mods, or biomods for more formal stuff), as well as slang for minor aesthetic alterations, and full on reshaping of someone’s body. This is EXTREMELY common in this setting, not just to enable hyper curves, gigantic sizes or other appropriate changes, but for more practical purposes. Someone might make themselves huge and with powerful muscles to be a better fighter, for instance, or alter their brain for greater thinking. Hyper fertility for one-woman population booms is also quite popular, linked to mega-curve changes. Often these alterations are NOT subtle in the slightest, and will show dramatic changes; how kink-related those might be is situational.

Modding also refers to cybernetics. In keeping with the aesthetics, these cybernetics might be polished or elegant, but they are rarely subtle. People don’t have tiny chips in their brains, they have huge bulky thinking engines fused to their brains in perfect harmony. Robot prosthetic limbs are massive, bulky and shimmering masses of machinery. Even synthetic muscle tissue WILL be pretty dang obvious, whether it be glowy, replace weaker organic muscles, or just be huge. Finally, cybernetics has no inherently negative effect just because it isn’t ‘natural’. Neither is sitting at a table looking at a phone or computer, but there you are! Any complications are strictly health-related, rather than innate or spiritual.

Now, to explain the fantasy-ish elements.

There are gods, and angels, and demons, and other beings. They exist far out in the multiverse, far from mortal dealings, and mostly they do their own thing. The affairs of mortals is not their main concern, but they do take an interest in us. Gods and similar beings take on different forms based on the cultures revering them, and they might be shaped by mortal belief, but there is a notable distinction between gods MADE from mortal belief, and those who exist apart from mortal relevance.

Magic is a thing. Specifically it follows the model of magic as just a thing that almost everyone can do, but it takes skill and training to do impressive stuff with it. An example: plenty of people have enough ability to, say, boost their skills to superhuman levels briefly or have great control over their body’s growth, but not everyone can throw a fireball. Typically people draw magical energy and shape it into various effects - perhaps forging it into one of a kind relics for ‘super science’ gadgetry - or more standard fantasy sorcery, with a hint of sci fi rationale to it. It can be understood and is rarely persecuted, and underlies a lot of the technological abilities in the setting. There is a distinction between arcane energy in its many forms, which is just the background essence of the cosmos, and divine magic, which is the raw power of genuine gods or spiritual powers, descending onto mortal believers and champions and empowering them.

Magic is hugely differentiated across the cosmos, and even in specific universes. It is heavily informed by culture and personal experience, and magic is more or less a power caused by emotion and perspective bleeding into the fabric of reality, backed up by energy and force of willpower, and shaping it. (Thus, magic is related to the soul; all beings that have souls can use magic, and using magic means you HAVE a soul.) In some places, you might have people who inherit influence over an element that their people are culturally tied to. In another, it might be a matter of academic study with little personal relevance. HAving them MEET can result in some interesting consequences for their abilities.

A soul, for that note, is the consequence of sapience and also sentience; self-awareness combined with the ability to say to the universe ‘I AM’. Clones, robots, self-aware golems, and every conceivable artificial being has as much of a soul as a naturally born human. They are people, and if it can ask ‘Do I have a soul’, then they do.

Many standards of sci fi, and indeed many archaic concepts (berserkers, knights, plate armor, weaponry of all sort and many varieties of ancient armor) are still quite present. However they are rendered with a sci fi aesthetic. Instead of knights, you have monastic orders of power armored warriors that rule as lords over regions. Instead of berserkers, you have ferocious warriors who have modded themselves

Some tech and sci fi thoughts:

As mentioned above, warfare is more similar to older forms of combat in the romantic tradition rather than modern notions of military action. This is partly because I find realistic warfare to be rather boring to really handle on its own. On a practical level, its harder to do it; one can’t just bomb your enemies into submission when targeting systems are difficult to figure out and you’re not really sure how they work except in the most arcane terms. (And they might be magical and can argue with you.) Modern military action CAN still happen, it’s just not an immediate option most of the time. Tanks, speedy jet-bikes, big time charges ad people gazing in awe as giant robots march into the field like living gods is definitely a feature here. Again, think of Warhammer 40k-style battles. Mechanized stuff is still relevant, as well. It is likely also televised and made into entertainment… which is super messed up.

Technology levels vary… a lot. In general it can be assumed that your standard space faring faction, band or society can produce their own spacecraft without relying on treasure troves of ancient relics or treasure hunts to find intact ships; this also implies intact understanding of relevant scientific fields. Thing might get iffier with things like energy-based weapons, advanced personal shields, or something, but they are still reasonably common. It’s usually a local question whether that means that such things can be made cheaply, or if there is a very large pre-collapse cache of them.

Magic involved with technology is very, very common. Cosmic internet that manifests as interconnected chains of psychic energy between populations, bizarre creations that only function because of their magical nature, the use of mental powers to safely navigate through mysterious realms or send telepathic messages to a distant world; all of these are reasonably common. Many groups may replace advanced scientific know-how with magical experimentation entirely, causing a great deal of diversity in individual tool use and fashions.

On that note: faster-than-light travel. It is a thing in universe (how else would you go from world to world to have fun adventures?) but it’s not easy. It is not simple and it can be very, very dangerous. There are a few different methods; phasing into other realms of existence to ignore the speed of light, as that rule won’t apply, is a common one, but this runs the risk of attracting the attention of potentially malicious cosmic horrors, and surging people up with magic, for all kinds of weird transformations. There is also the use of ancient artifacts that transport ships from one point to another, or complicated warp drives that do stuff to gravity at the cost of enormous fuel requirements. In general, this stuff can’t be weaponized, and its most common that public transit between the stars involves the cosmic equivalent of buses; people pack their ships into really large barges and go along for the ride, saving on costs.

Alien life. It’s there! It’s a big deal! And most of it doesn’t look like us, SERIOUSLY GUYS I HATE THE RUBBER FOREHEAD HUMAN TROPE SO MUCH IT CAN BURN IN A DITCH. Think in terms of Mass Effect or Animorphs alien designs for how distinct they can get. Alien races that are canonically similar to humans will likely either be reimagined as being derived from humanity or redesigned into something more appropriate to their homeworld or, if artificial, the circumstances of their creation.

Feel free to ask me about other stuff you might want to know, or should take into consideration for world building!

[dachi-chan25]

Aemon would have totally been the best Targ name for Jon. For one thing, there's his connection to Maester Aemon (his great-uncle) and his love for Aemon the Dragonknight. Secondly, Aemon is obviously a fantasy play on Eamonn which means "wealthy protector." Much cooler-sounding than Aegon, which was the name of some of the WORST Targ Kings in Westeros history.

Annony you are so right, but let’s see what Egg Kings ever did cuz recipts:

–Aegon V: Aka Egg, He was actually very Good with the smallfolk, but Highlords did not like this at all (cuz they were assholes) oh and also he was against Targ incest! thus planned to marry his children with the heirs of houses of Westeros, very good Job Eggy! Oh but wait his children pulled all a Rhaegar on him and decided none of them would marry their intended: Prince Duncan married Jenny of Oldstones offending Lord Lyonnel Baratheon, Prince Jahaerys and Princess Shaera ran away together and got married in secret offending Houses Tyrell and Tully and Prince Daeron broke his bethrotal with Olenna Redwayne (yup the Queen of Thorns herself) cuz he was hella gay. Egg dealt with all this stuff as best as he could but later he got obssesed with bringing dragons back so the lords would accept the reforms he wanted to make (reforms? good! scaring/threatening people with dragons to do what you want? Bad) and in his dumbassery he burned Summerhall in an experiment to hatch dragon eggs and died.

“ All three of the sons of the fifth Aegon had wed for love in defiance of their father’s wishes. And because that unlikely monarch had followed his heart when he chose his queen, he allowed his sons to have their way, making bitter enemies when he might have made fast friends. Treason and turmoil followed, as night follows day, ending at Summerhall in sorcery, fire and grief.”

–Aegon IV: Aka Supreme Fuckboy, supposedly he was super hot when he was young and married Princess Naerys (yeah this is the dude Aemon the Dragonknight hated for humilliating Naerys) but being a fuckboy he had lots of mistresses, not only that but instead of filling his court with good advisors he brought people who amused or flattered him and ladies that let him had his way with them. Dude was super gross and corrupted, ended up being morbidly obese for his excess in everything. His final act ro see the world burn was to legitimize his many bastards (going as far as to give the legendary valaryan steel sword Blackfyre to his bastard son Daeron, which was considered súper offensive) provoking the Blckfyre rebellion.

“ He is generally considered to be one of the worst kings in the history of Westeros, and is dubbed “Aegon the Unworthy” in the face of his excess and misrule.”

–Aegon III: aka Emo boy. He was the son of Rhaenyra, yes the one from Dance of Dragons. The events of said Targ Civil War let him completely depressed. Since Aegon came to the Iron Throne aged eleven, several regents and Hands ruled in his name at the beginning of his reign. Numerous political schemes, plots, and assassinations happened in those five years as the regents fought one another for political power. Basically the only thing that made dude happy was his brother and Hand Viserys return (he thought him dead) but still Egg the third could not be assed to rule, and Viserys gave very stupid advice like bringing mages from Essos in am attempt to hatch dragon eggs to stop people from calling him the Dragonbane, basically did nothing.

“He was regarded as a broken king who ruled over a broken reign. His brother Viserys did the majority of the ruling as his Hand. Aegon was melancholy to the end of his days, found pleasure in almost nothing, and locked himself in his room to brood for days on end. He likewise came to dislike being touched.”

–Aegon II: aka worst Uncle ever. So daddy Viserys had appointed big sis Rhaenyra his heir and future Queen of Westeros, but Egg the second’s momma did not like it, much less cuz Rhaenyra named her son Aegon (would you look at that a conflict caused cuz two Princes fit to inherit the throne had the same name? Who would have believed it?) and took it as a slight, yeah so as soon as daddy died he refused to accept his sister as Queen and took up arms with support from the Hightowers mainly and other people, Dance of Dragons was an awful bloody war that ended up with the extintion of Dragons and the deaths of both Aegon and Rhaenyra. Also he made his dragon eat his sister (he was rather fond to feed people to his dragon) in front of his nephew and kept him captive (“there can only be one Aegon”- Aegon II probably at some point).

“ Despite being considered as part of the Targaryen dynasty, unlike Rhaenyra who would be remembered as a usurper, history would not be kind on Aegon (though history is equally unkind to his half sister, Rhaenyra). In the tome Lives of Four Kings, Grandmaestar Kaeth would describe Aegon II as “grasping”, and comparing him with some of the worst Targaryen kings: the weakling Aenys and the tyrannical Maegor the Cruel.”

–Aegon I: Aka Original Trashcan. Came from Valarya to rain fire and blood to people who wished not to subject to him and give him all the power of a land he did not knew, his idea of mercy was not burning you if you kneeled, but he did not like violence and did not participate in tourneys OwO (fuck him) basically trash, the worst, nobody wanted him to unite the seven kingdoms, they were fine before you asshole. Bullying people to give you their homes and calling it a mercy just cuz he had dragons. Really a punk ass bitch.

“Although his reign had largely been peaceful, many of his subjects desired to go back to the days of old, when there were still seven Kingdoms. Others wanted vengeance for the deaths of their loved ones in wars, and yet others saw the Targaryens as abominations.Because of this, the reigns of both Aenys and Maegor were tumulus, and filled with battles and chaos.”

Bonus:

Rhaegar (to Elia) : Aegon. What better name for a king?

Me: *looks at the camera like I’m in the office*