#I feel like I missed something real important

[vettelsvee]

THE MOMENT I KNEW | Max Verstappen

Max Verstappen x Girlfriend!Reader

SUMMARY: After a few races where he didn't get the results he expected, Max decides to go out with some friends to disconnect from everything. Unluckily, one of those days when he arrives home after having some drinks, he finds out that he missed his girlfriend's birthday as soon as he sees the cake she ordered on the trash ↳ REQUESTED BY ANON: Maybe something angsty?? Like maybe bro goes out with his friends and forgets readers bday until he sees the cake in the trash can and realizes bro screwed up

WORD COUNT: 2007

WARNINGS: Curse words, mentions of being drunk, angst

TAGLIST: @hc-dutch @raavadakedavra @coffeedestroyingperson @evey-kuznetskova @bowielovesyou @chaoswithus @isotopemylove @iceman-kazansky @gwginnyweasley @formula1-motogpfan @myescapefromthislife @regalbanshee [in case you wanna be tagged just tell me so i can add you!]

VEE'S NOTES: I've absolutely loved this one my God. With this fic, we mark a total of 6196 words written this week (not counting my uni essays and other several projects), so I'm quite proud about that! Also, thank you so much for the support all this week, hope you liked all the fics! I'll be uploading this upcoming week's posts tomorrow. Let me know in the comments or on the anon inbox your thoughts on this one! See you next week :) ↳ MAKE YOUR REQUESTS | LET'S TALK! | JANUARY UPDATE CALENDAR

© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

Max stumbled into your apartment, fumbling with the keys and opening the door with trembling hands, his pounding headache reminding him that it wouldn’t be this bad if he’d listened to the bartender’s advice to stop after the last gin tonic.

As soon as he stepped inside, he froze in the doorway, scanning everything as if it were his first time entering the place, even though he had been living there for nearly five years, the last two with you. He took a few unsteady steps toward the small entryway counter, where he dropped his keys and realized the silence was far heavier than he had anticipated.

His laughter, faint and fueled by the false sense of security that alcohol had provided, quickly dissipated. Taking a cautious step further into the living room, he noticed there were no lights on, no plates or leftover food on the small coffee table in front of the TV, and most strikingly, you were neither sprawled out on the couch watching one of the romantic movies you adored nor curled up asleep with one of your cats.

Despite the glaring signs, Max didn’t panic, at least not as much as he should have, even though something inside him whispered that the situation didn’t sit right.

It wasn’t until he wandered into the kitchen to get a glass of water and rounded the island that his foot stumbled slightly, nearly sending him sprawling to the floor. Puzzled, he looked down to see what had caused him to trip. His heart sank when his eyes landed on a discarded box, its lid broken as if it had been thrown to the floor, angrily, on purpose.

That’s when reality hit him like a freight train.

He turned his gaze to the left, where the trash can stood partially open. Inside, he saw an untouched cake, decorated with intricate floral designs and a message that read, “Happy Birthday, Y/N!” The sight struck him like a blow to the chest, the pressure so intense it made him want to vomit.

“No… No, it wasn’t today…” 

Desperately, and trying to figure out what to do, Max ran his hands through his hair, as if that might somehow help him calm down. His breathing grew more erratic with each passing second, his eyes glued to the cake. It didn’t feel real. He couldn’t understand how he had managed to forget such an important date… you, his girlfriend’s, birthday. Something so obvious had suddenly spiraled into a waking nightmare.

He noticed his phone sitting on the kitchen counter. Grabbing it quickly, he checked for any missed calls or messages from you, only to realize after several failed attempts to turn it on that it was dead. He blamed his drunkenness not only for not noticing he didn’t have his phone with him or that it was out of battery, but for forgetting such a meaningful day and breaking every promise he had made to you.

Deep down, though, he knew all the excuses were hollow. Any justification he tried to offer would be nothing but foolishness.

Setting the phone back on the counter, he decided not to waste any more time. He headed toward your bedroom. The door was ajar, and though the lights were off, he could make out your silhouette lying on the bed, your back turned to him. You gave no sign that you had noticed his arrival. The only sound in the room was your muffled, quiet sobs. As Max stepped closer, he saw you were clutching a pillow tightly, as if it were your only source of comfort.

That was the moment Max realized he couldn’t avoid facing the situation, no matter how impossible it felt to fix things right away.

“Y/N...” he said softly.

You didn’t answer, and your silence hurt more than a thousand words could have. Max knelt beside the bed, close enough to reach out, and gently began stroking your face. You didn’t resist his touch, but your indifference pierced him deeply.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured, his voice trembling as he fought to hold himself together. “I swear this wasn’t my intention… I wanted to come home earlier, but Lando insisted we stay a bit longer, and then I didn’t have my phone…”

“You forgot, Max,” you interrupted, your tone sharp but laced with pain, anger, and sadness. You still wouldn’t look at him. “Goddammit, Max, you forgot my fucking birthday ever since the moment the clock struck midnight.”

Max fell silent. Once again, reality hit him square in the face, forcing him to acknowledge that anything he said would likely be inadequate. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, trying to find the words to explain himself calmly, to admit his mistakes while grappling with the weight of his guilt.  

“You know it wasn’t my intention,” he began, his voice low. “It’s just… with the shitty season I’ve been having and everything that comes with it, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. I just needed to step out of my comfort zone for a bit, to clear my head…”  

“And you thought doing that on my birthday, after promising me a dream day, was the most appropriate choice?” you cut him off, finally raising your head. Your eyes were swollen and red from crying. “I know you’re not in a good place right now, but I also know that until now, every promise you’ve made to me, you’ve kept. You didn’t just forget about me, Max. You left me here, alone, all day, like I didn’t matter at all.”  

Max searched desperately for a way to salvage the situation, to apologize, to do something, anything, to prove how deeply sorry he was. But when you turned on the light and sat up to face him, he realized he was out of options. He didn’t know how to continue without disappointing you further.  

“You know this has been really hard for me…”  

“Hard for you? Seriously?” you interrupted, leaning closer and pointing your finger at him. “And you think this has been easy for me? Watching you shut me out, never telling me what’s going on in that head of yours? Not to mention your fans… They’re fully convinced that your shitty season is all my fault, that our relationship is ruining your career.”  

“Y/N, I know…”  

That was a lie. He didn’t know. Max had ignored the comments and criticism because, deep down, he believed you weren't to blame for his performance, especially when you rarely even went with him to the races anymore.  

“There’s nothing I can say to argue with you,” Max admitted. “You’re absolutely right. I’ve been a complete asshole today, and I’m truly sorry. I love you, Y/N, more than you know…”  

“Are you sure you love me?” you shot back, your voice trembling with anger. “Do you love me, or your damn career? Because lately, it feels like your whole world revolves even more around cars, races, speed, adrenaline, and your constant need to be the best at everything.”  

“Hey…” Max tried, his voice faltering.  

“Every day, you show me more and more that we’re no longer a team… that I’m no longer a part of you. And I know I’m not the only one who sees it.”  

Your words hit him like a dagger, but he knew he deserved them.  

“It’s not just about you forgetting my birthday today, Max. It’s everything. You don’t listen to me… you don’t give me anything, not even a minute of your day, let alone affection or support. Why should I stay in a relationship that, instead of giving me life, is killing me inside?”  

Your words struck him like a bucket of ice water.  

“You don’t get it, do you?” you asked, frustration and sadness mingling in your tone as he stayed silent. “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t be afraid to show me who you are, flaws and all. But you’ve always done this, Max, keeping me at arm’s length, never letting me into your life.”  

“I don’t do that, Y/N, it’s just that…” he began, summoning his courage to explain, but you cut him off once again.  

“Damn it, Max, yes, of course you do!” you yelled, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. “Do you realize that even though I’ve been with you, I’ve been completely alone? Alone, Max, utterly alone! I’ve tried so many times to talk to you, to make you see that a few bad races aren’t the end of the world for someone like you, but…”  

You stopped yourself abruptly, your throat aching and your head pounding. You felt no remorse for the way you were speaking to him since he deserved every word, but you couldn’t help but feel a deep sadness. Sadness for the Max Verstappen you had once known. A man who had been so proud of himself and his achievements after years of hard work, now emotionally shattered and, worse, so determined to hide it from everyone, including you.  

“I can’t keep giving you everything I have while you keep taking and taking, without giving anything back.”  

“I’m sorry…” Max muttered, but the words felt hollow.  

“A simple ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t fix anything, Max,” you replied, your voice quieter now but no less wounded. “I wish it were just about today, but like I said, I feel like you’re pushing me further out of your life with every passing day. You’re becoming a stranger to me, Max,” you admitted, trying not to let your voice waver. “You’ve been like this for months, and I don’t know what else to do to stop us from falling apart… though it feels like that’s exactly what you want.”  

“That’s not true,” he answered immediately, desperation in his voice. “Y/N, seriously, I love you more than you could ever imagine.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, tears welling up again. “Because I feel like you’re showing me the exact opposite.” Your voice trembled with the weight of her words. “Sometimes it feels like you love your career, the success you’ve achieved and the crowds chanting your name more than you love me.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, his voice barely audible. “You know I want to, but… I don’t know how to fix this anymore…”

You looked at him, your eyes searching his face for some sign, some silent promise that would make you believe things between you could change. But Max’s words only made you realize that you had to stop thinking fantasies and start facing reality.

“Maybe you can’t fix it,” you confessed, the words breaking you from the inside. “I can’t keep going like this, Max… I can’t keep feeling like I’m not enough… like I’m not good enough for you.”

“Seriously, there has to be a solution…” he pleaded, his voice full of regret. “I’ll do better from now on, I promise…”

“You don’t get it, do you?” You turned to look at him, the pain evident in your expression. “Things won’t magically get better if you take me to dinner or buy me a million-dollar necklace to make up for today. That won’t fix anything, Max…”

“Y/N… Y/N, please… I need you…”

No matter how many times Max said those words, he knew that any promise he made now would be meaningless, especially considering how much he had already failed you.

Feeling that there were no more words left to say between them, you slowly got out of bed. You gathered the few belongings you had on the nightstand and, with a sense of finality, began to pack a bag, all the while feeling Max’s powerless gaze on you.

“I can’t keep waiting, Max,” you said, her voice steady despite the anguish inside. “Today, no matter how much I tried to turn a blind eye, let it go, and even put myself in your shoes… This… everything… after many tries… God, Max, all of this… That was the moment I knew.”

[weneeya]

touch starved w/ hinata, atsumu, sakusa, bokuto m.list | rules

note. omg i heard 2020 is back? guess i'm back with it then

Hinata as touching cheek to cheek

You always came to watch Hinata play, there was no exception to the rule. He was your lovely boyfriend, and obviously your favourite player. It was the first match of the season today, and you were in the front row to see him be as good as he always was. 

When his team won the game, you made your way through the crowd to join him and the rest of his teammates. You waved at Bokuto who saw you first, before your boyfriend turned around and yelled your name with a bright smile. You almost ran and jumped his open arms. 

The second you were in his arms, Hinata pressed his cheek against yours, making both of you chuckle a little. He loved doing this so much. It was a simple touch, leaving no room for imagination on your relationship with him, but without being too demonstrative. 

Hinata did not care, but you were more discreet than him, and he understood that you did not want your intimacy to be shown to the whole world like this. Pressing your cheeks together was the best way he found to keep being clingy to you in public. 

Atsumu as hiding his face in your neck

Everyone knew how much Atsumu loved to be seen, to have all the attention on him all the time. He was the biggest show-off you ever met, and sometimes you wondered how you ended up dating a guy like him. Until you saw the way he looked at you, and how needy he was between your arms when you two were alone. 

Today was no different. It was early in the morning and you were making breakfast for the two of you. Alone in the kitchen, you were softly humming to the song playing on the radio while cooking the eggs. You were stopped by two strong arms sliding around your waist to keep you in place, and a nose nuzzling against the skin of your neck. 

You giggled softly at the feeling, and one of your hands rested on his arm around you. It was too early for Atsumu to be awake, so you were not surprised to see him being so sleepy and touchy. 

“You should have stayed in bed,” you told him in a soft voice, and he grumbled something against your skin. 

“Missed ya…” You understood in his half said words, before you put the eggs on the side and turn off the gas. 

You slowly turned around to be facing him, but it did not last long, his face soon hidden back into your neck. You ran your fingers on the back of his neck, and he hid his face even more, if only it could be possible. It was those moments which made you remember why you loved this man so much.

Sakusa as feeling your pulse

Sakusa hated crowds, it was nothing new : and being a world famous volleyball player did not help at all. He despised them, but he could not simply avoid them all of the time. Thankfully, you were now by his side to help him get through this. 

It was an important meeting for the teams which were about to play a friendly game for both the public and the wellbeing of practices. The real problem was how many people were there for the encounter. Sakusa was in a pretty bad mood, and everyone had noticed it, especially his own teammates. After a quick talk, Hinata made his way to bring you there. 

You were now by your boyfriend’s side, holding his hand while talking to him to try to ease his poor mind. He was glancing here and there from time to time, but his attention slowly began to focus on you. You knew he was solely focusing on you when his fingers slowly moved down to rest on your wrist. 

Sakusa closed his eyes for a second, his touch on your wrist taking note of your calm pulse. It always soothed him down, knowing how relaxed you were next to him while he was a nervous wreck. He stayed like this until he felt his own pulse slowing down, before he looked back at you. 

You gave him a light smile, and he nodded as an answer, as his lips were hidden behind his mask. With that, you waved at him and left, the match about to start. He waved back at you before a light sigh escaped his lips. He would never be grateful enough for how much you were helping him all the time, with even the smallest details.

Bokuto as resting his head on your chest

It was safe to say that Bokuto could not wait until he finally got home to you. The man was tired from practice ; not physically, but mentally for sure. All he wanted to do was to spend time with his pretty girlfriend and care about nothing else but the comfort of your presence next to him. No surprise he almost ran away when the coach told him they could leave the gym. 

He probably never came back home so quickly before, and it almost surprised you who did not expect him to be here so soon. You were laying in bed, reading a book, when you heard the slam of the main door shutting. You did not have the time to move from your position, Bokuto was already in the bedroom. 

Before you could say anything, your boyfriend let his broad figure fall right on top of you. You gasped slightly for air, putting your book to the side so he would not destroy it. A smile dancing on his lips, he wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on top of your chest. Eyes closed, he simply hummed softly in satisfaction. 

You ran your fingers through his messy hair, and it simply made him nuzzle even more against your chest. It was all he needed, your body pressed against his and nothing else around. Your chest was definitely his favorite pillow ; no wonder why you always ended up like this while laying down with him. 

You decided that it was perhaps the right time to take a break from your book and just relax for a moment. You kept playing with his hair while your free hand ran along the top of his back slowly. It didn’t take long before the two of you fell asleep like this, in the warmth of each other's embrace.

thank you for reading!!

[guess-my-next-obsession]

posts marked with * are NSFW and 18+ ONLY. MINORS DNI.

cowboy like me* — reader has a reputation, just like javier, and when the two meet at a party in laredo, they realize they may have met their match. 3.8k

you are in love — fluffy timeline of reader and javier falling for each other. 1.8k

ours — “Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves. They’ll judge it like they know about me and you, and the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do. The jury’s out, but my choice is you.” 1.3k

cruel summer* — reader finds herself in a summer fling with javier peña, but soon realizes that he may want something serious from her. angst, smut, and fluff follow. 4.9k

friends from quantico* — reader and javier were the best of friends when they met ten years ago, and when they meet again in Bogota, it’s clear that the relationship has changed into something more. 2.6k

A Symptom of Age* — joel is exhausted and has a case of impotence, reader proves she doesn’t care the best way she knows how. 3.4k

What I Love* — joel details what he loves about reader. soft sex. 1.4k

Christmas Tree Farm* — part of 8 Days of Christmas ‘22. from The Stable Girl universe. smut and domestic fluff. 4.2k

Drunken Serenade* — smutty fluff about how reader won over the grumpiest guy in Jackson. 2.5k

The Babysitter* — pre-outbreak!joel x babysitter!reader. smut and feelings. 1.2k

Dust To Dust* — reader and joel have a well-practiced routine. smut and soft ending.2k

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A Warm Bed* — reader gets lonely and so does joel. FILTH. 3.4k

The Third Date* — you invite joel in after your third date. smut and fluff. 2.6k

After Work Relief* – Joel helps relieve your tension. 1.5k

power outage* —frankie and reader find a good way to kill time during a storm. 1.5k

blind dating show — reader finds herself in a local bar’s dating game-show, the contestants Will, Benny, and Frankie. only one man can walk away with the prize, and we all know the perfect pilot for the job. 2.5k

blind dating show p.II* — part two of ^ where reader accepts an invite to frankie’s barbecue. things get spicy. 3k

oblivious — reader and frankie are the best of friends until a fight on a camping trip reveals things that neither of them ever dared to admit. fluff follows. 3.7k

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i’ll be home for christmas* — Frankie comes home after a long month of work just in time for the holidays. 2.5k

a new friend (½) — reader gets lost in the woods and frankie shelters her from not only the storm, but her shitty relationship. 4k

when we were young — reader sees their ex, frankie, in a bar after five years. 2.5k

the addams family* — part of Spooktacular ‘22. frankie gets turned on by wife!reader in a morticia costume.

facetime movie night — part of Spooktacular ‘22.

christmas cookies — decorating christmas cookies w frankito.

dressing room tears — reader struggles with weight gain and finding jeans that fit her, frankie is there to remind her how beautiful she is.

i can take it* — edging with sub!frankie.

lost in love* — frankie likes the way you look beneath him.

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caught* — reader is dating santi, but frankie urges her to tell him about their affair.

real love, baby —plus size!reader meets frankie in a bar. fluff fluff fluff.

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cold — reader misses din and the warmth that only he can bring 1.5k

sleep — din likes to watch reader sleep 1k

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the cabin — din finds peace and a family on the outskirts of navarro <1k

dieter:

don’t you want me, baby* — a few years after meeting you in a West Hollywood diner, dieter begins to grow impatient at your seemingly disinterest and his own burning desire for you.

first one to jump strips* — part of Spooktacular ‘22.

amazon* — dieter and reader try out the amazon position.

marcus pike:

the delay — part of 8 Days of Christmas ‘22.

[jerzwriter]

Ethan and Kaycee have been through quite a bit together, and even if they're still a secret, they're very much together. But when Ethan realizes they missed a big dating milestone, he goes all out to fix that.

Book: Open Heart (Late Book 2 Timeline) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Kaycee MacClennan (F!MC) Rating: Teen Words: 2,230

A/N: Thank you to @peonierose for this ask about my pairing first dates. I never realized I never wrote an official first date for Ethan x Kaycee! Participating in @choicesjanuary2025 - Prompt: First Date. I didn't have a lot of time to proof - so I hope it's not too bad! lol :)

Ethan Ramsey didn’t get nervous. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself as he adjusted his tie for the tenth time. A pained look crossed his face as he checked his reflection in the mirror a final time. It still wasn’t right. “It’s a tie, Ramsey!” He cursed. “It’s not like you haven’t done this a thousand times before!”  But as he hastily tossed the offending object onto his bed, he settled on a more casual approach.

There was no reason to be nervous. Sure, he was going on a date – an important date – but it was just Kaycee. That’s when he stopped in his tracks. Of course that’s why... it was Kaycee.

This wouldn’t be a typical first date. There would be no getting to know each other, no auditioning for the coveted role of significant other. With more than a year’s worth of history under their belts, that was already taken care of. They had danced around their feelings as if they were avoiding a pathogen. They clung to their denial even as the longing consumed them. Then they came close... so close... only to backtrack again.

Through it all, Kaycee remained his constant, even when he hadn’t earned her loyalty. She comforted him after losing a dear friend and helped him save another. She had awoken parts of him he had buried long ago despite his best attempts to keep them underground. She saw him – the real him – and she loved him as he was. To reward her for her devotion, he ran off to the Amazon, enduring a brutal WHO mission to escape the inevitable. That’s how much she terrified him.

Or so he thought. While he hadn’t led the easiest life, he soon learned that he hadn’t known what true terror was. The night he held Kaycee’s gaunt frame in his arms and watched the light dim in her eyes, that’s when he knew. Unsure if she’d live to see the morning, he promised if she made it through, the time for running would be over. He’d face his fears and do everything in his power to let her know just how cherished she was... and he had.

For months now, they were finally together, albeit secretly. That was her wish, “Let’s keep this quiet until my residency is over, OK?” she insisted. It wasn’t his preference; it wasn’t even hers, but he understood why.

Last week, when Ethan realized their relationship was missing a crucial milestone – an official first date – he knew he had to remedy that, and no ordinary date would do. Now that the night was here, Ethan was determined to give Kaycee the kind of night she deserved. And that’s why he was so nervous... it had to be magic. She deserved nothing less.  

_____

Over at Kaycee’s apartment, she was a bundle of nerves herself. Sienna and Jackie had turned her tiny bedroom into a makeshift glam squad headquarters. Which was just as well; her hands were far too shaky to deal with makeup today.

“Stop fidgeting,” Sienna gently scolded, curling the last strand of Kaycee’s hair. “You’re going to ruin your makeup, and I’ll have to start all over again.”

“I still don’t get why you’re so worked up over this,” Jackie chimed in. “It’s Ethan. He helped save your life. You already know he loves you, and he’s provided you with mind-blowing orgasms. This improvised rom-com night is just to have something to tell your future rugrats – who I will refuse to watch – for the record.”

Kaycee shot her a look through the mirror. “Thanks, Jackie. Your romantic advice is greatly appreciated.”

Jackie smirked. “Hey, anytime.”

Sienna stepped back to admire her work. “Ta-Da! What do you think?”

Kaycee looked at her reflection. Her soft golden curls perfectly framed her face, her makeup was subtle but striking, and her midnight-blue dress hugged her curves in all the right places. “I think… I might be able to pull this off.”

“Pull it off?” Sienna laughed. “Looking like this, you may get a proposal!”

Kaycee laughed off that notion. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, now, Si!”

Just then, the doorbell rang. “Oh, crap! Is that him already?”

Jackie looked at her incredulously. “Kaycee... what’s the problem? You’re ready!”

“Jackie!” Sienna scolded. “Don’t make Kaycee more nervous than she already is! Go and tell Ethan she’ll be right out.”

With a roll of her eyes, Jackie headed to the front door, opening it with a smirk as she took Ethan in from head to toe. “Eh, I guess you clean up pretty well,” she acknowledged, kicking the door open. “Come sit in the living room, Prince Charming. Cinderella is just adjusting her glass slippers; she’ll be out in a minute.”

Ethan sat on the weathered couch, looking every bit the composed physician he was, even though he felt more like the nervous schoolboy he was decades ago. But when Kaycee stepped into the room, everything changed.

“Kaycee,” he gasped, his breath catching as he stood to greet her. “You look... you look...”

“She looks hot as fuck,” Jackie jumped in.

“Honestly, that works,” Ethan chuckled. “You’re stunning, Kaycee.”  

Kaycee blushed, tilting her head to the side. “You don’t look so bad yourself, Dr. Ramsey.”

“All right! All right!” Jackie scolded. “Please go on your date before you end up in her room and I need to put the white noise machine on to get any studying done.”

“She has a point,” Kaycee laughed, taking Ethan’s arm the second it was offered.

He escorted her to his car, a luxury sedan that was beginning to feel like her second home. Once they were seated inside, Kaycee turned to him with a teasing smile. “You realize taking me out like this comes with the risk of being spotted, right?”

He met her gaze with the confident look that often left her weak in the knees. “So, then we’re spotted,” he said, bringing her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss.

“Ethan,” Kaycee rebuffed, though her smile was sincere. “I told you. Only our closest friends can know about us until I finish my residency.”

“I’m well aware,” he grinned, leaning closer. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Yes…,” she sighed, rolling her eyes playfully. “Begrudgingly, but yes, I do.”

“Then just sit back and relax. Leave the night to me.”

_____  

The Boston cityscape whizzed by as Kaycee glanced out the window. “So, where are you taking me?” she asked.

“What fun would it be if I told you,” Ethan smiled as they pulled up to a heliport.

“A helicopter ride?” Kaycee said, her eyes wide. “What if I’m terrified of helicopters?”  

“Well, you’re not. You mentioned wanting to take a helicopter tour of Boston on the second day of your residency.”

Kaycee’s face glowed as she turned to him. “And you remembered that?”

Ethan’s face softened as he looked into her eyes. “When it came to you, Rookie, I paid attention. Right from the start.”

She leaned in to kiss him as they headed to the waiting chopper, her heart racing from the adrenaline and a tiny bit of fear.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

“Me? Pfft!” She said with bravado. “I jumped out of a plane, you know?”

Now it was Ethan who was wide-eyed, “You what?”

She couldn’t help but giggle at his reaction. “I’ll tell you about it later,” she said, placing on her safety belt. “Come on! I can’t wait to get up there.”

As they ascended into the sky, the city they both loved unfolded beneath them, a tapestry of glistening lights shimmering in the night. It was even more beautiful than she imagined it would be. “Wow,” she whispered, her nose all but pressed against the glass. “This is… incredible! I can’t believe you thought of this!”

Ethan was delighted, and while Kaycee was captivated by the view, he only had eyes for her. Wrapping his arm around her, he whispered in her ear. “Only the best for you.”

The pilot pointed out the city’s iconic landmarks as they circled the night, and Kaycee couldn’t help but tease Ethan when Edenbrook Hospital was pointed out.

“So,” she said, elbowing him in the ribs. “Are we going to land on Edenbrook’s roof?”

“Sure,” he laughed. “That’s a great plan to keep our relationship under wraps.” He leaned in and kissed her, his heart more full than he ever imagined it could be. “Just sit back and enjoy the view. I want you to remember this.”

She quickly reassured him. “It would be pretty hard for me to forget.”

_____

A short time later, Ethan was behind the wheel of his car again when Kaycee began thanking him for such a lovely night.

“Wait. Do you think the night’s over?” He asked with a furrowed brow. “What kind of man would I be if I didn’t take you out to eat?”

“You would be a man who clearly doesn’t know that my love language is food!” Causing Ethan to laugh. But Kaycee wasn’t done. “All right, the helicopter was a great way to have a ‘secret’ date. But we can’t exactly march into one of Boston’s finest restaurants dressed like this without being outed.”

“MacCLennan,” he groaned. “Please. Trust me.”

He parked his car and opened Kaycee’s door, walking to a marina nearby.

“What is that?” she asked as Ethan pointed to a massive yacht anchored just yards away, its sleek bow glistening under the moonlit sky.

“It’s a boat,” he deadpanned.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious. I know it’s a boat, but I thought you were going to feed me?”

“Oh, I am,” he insisted. “I’ve seen you hangry, and honestly, if that happens, I can’t guarantee you a second date.”

Kaycee’s playful punch landed on his arm a bit harder than anticipated, and he let out a little scream. “OUCH!” he yelled.

“You know, I think you’re on to something with that hangry thing, Ramsey,” she winked. “So I hope this ship has some snacks?”

“Snacks?”  He asked. “Do you really think I’m going to offer you snacks on our first date? I can do better than that,” he grinned as he escorted her onto the yacht.

A tuxedoed man greeted them upon entering. “Good evening, Dr. Ramsey, Dr. MacClennan.”

“Wait, is this a restaurant?” Kaycee asked.

“Not exactly,” Ethan smirked as they walked into a stunning room surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows. A candlelit table was in the center, and Ethan pulled out Casey’s chair as the boat began to sail with the Boston skyline twinkling behind them. “Since we aren’t ready to go public yet, I thought privacy was of the utmost importance, and this is as private as it gets.”  

“Wait,” she said, a little crinkle above her nose. “You...”

“Rented the yacht, hired a chef and a wait staff for the ultimate private dining. Yes,” he said with a satisfied grin. “That’s exactly what I did.”

Casey’s mouth hung open, her hand over her chest. “Ethan!” She gushed, “This is... unbelievable! You know that you were going to get lucky at the end of our date no matter what, right? You didn’t have to go to these extremes.”

“Well, If I had known that, I could have saved a pretty penny,” he laughed, taking her hand across the table. “Kaycee, we had quite an... eventful... start to our relationship, and we still have challenges... like having to conceal our feelings for a bit longer. And you’ve handled everything with such grace. You deserve this. I wanted our first “official” date to be an extra special night. I hope I delivered.”

“Ethan Ramsey,” she beamed, squeezing his hand. “You have more than delivered!”

The waiter served all of Kaycee’s favorite dishes: lobster bisque, shrimp scampi, then homemade pasta and braciole.

“Wait!” she said when that last item was served. “This looks awfully familiar!”

“That’s because it’s your mother’s,” Ethan advised. “I knew no one would make it as good as she does, so she made a batch, and I had it flown in from Philly.”

 “Flown in from Philly?” she yelled. “Ethan! Isn’t that a little... over the top? I appreciate it, but...”

He held a forkful of the dish up to her mouth. “Do you want to continue complaining, or would you prefer to eat?”

“Eat!” She said, groaning with delight as she took a bite. “Definitely eat.”

When the final course arrived—a box of pizza from her favorite Boston spot, Pizzaria Regina —Kaycee burst out laughing. “Ethan! Are you kidding? I can’t possibly eat another bite!”

“Good,” he said, leaning closer. “Because we have the yacht for the night. It has a bedroom, you know, and I have some ideas for how we can work off dinner. But I know you... you’ll want a snack after.”  

She laughed, nudging him playfully. “What about dessert?”

He smirked. “That is dessert. Though there are cannolis and cupcakes, too.”

“Cannolis and cupcakes?” She gasped. “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

“You might want to wait for the bedroom course to make that declaration,” he teased with an affectionate grin.

Kaycee leaned in and kissed him. “You’re something else, Dr. Ramsey. I’m so lucky you’re mine.”

“And you’re perfect, Dr. MacClennan. So you deserve a perfect ‘first date.’ Did I deliver?”

“I think so,” she winked. “But let’s get to that bedroom course. It’s the only way I can say for sure.”

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[salvadorbonaparte]

That is a fair call out! I mean I kinda post about this a bit on my side blog but that's mostly just screenshots and gifs. So here's a very important update:

Good Books of January 2025 (as of January 12th)

Greek Lessons - Han Kang (made me feel shrimp emotions for an entire day and it's soooo language related as well and I want to talk about it more but I'd explode)

Dallergut Dream Department Store - Lee Miye (I need to experience the "crossing the pacific ocean as a killer whale" dream so bad I swear to God, also just a really whimsical cozy read)

Supercommunicators - Charles Duhigg (Language! Communication!)

Ghosts of Honolulu - Mark Harmon, Leon Carroll Jr (I hate to admit it but Mark Harmon can write really well, this was a real page turner for a nonfiction book and I feel like I learned a lot about Japanese-American history)

Good Films of January 2025 (as of January 12th)

Godzilla Minus One (horrors of war, trauma, a gigantic scary lizard monster, love and hope and perseverance and forgiveness and me crying on new years day)

Mutt Boy (Not sure if this film is actually good or if I'm just weird after watching so many films with the same guy but it's definitely interesting, absolutely insane how the main catalyst of the plot is a group of bullies killing and eating a disabled teens dog like he should have been allowed to go full John Wick on them)

Operation Mincemeat (Definitely the most generic on the list but do you see a pattern of me going back to watching war related films)

Steel Rain and Steel Rain 2: Summit (the constant threat of nuclear war, a commentary on the two Koreas being still used as chess pieces by other nations, a tragedy, blatant propaganda but also surprisingly nuanced, weirdly pro nuclear weapons, a really silly satire that made me laugh so hard, attractive people)

Conclave (I'm not going to spoil anything for those who still want to see it in theaters but there's a twist to this film that made me so incredibly happy)

A City of Sadness (linguistically so interesting, definitely makes me want to learn more about Chinese and Taiwanese history, I am really missing some context to articulate my thoughts better but there's something about day to day life during political upheavals and the way this terror is still punctuated by mundane beauty as people try to carry on despite the disappearances)

It's been twelve days into the new year and I already watched some absolutely phenomenal films that I am sure will haunt me for a while and then also just some really really fun ones

[snocodill]

Guys what happened between the time I left and rejoined the mha fandom??

Like?? Now people are telling me that kiribaku and tododeku are rarepairs and I can’t safely admit that I don’t like bkdk anymore? What happened ??

[oddly-casual]

Fiona and Cake spoilers seriously

(Something I noticed abt Betty and Simons relationship)

I love Betty and Simon’s relationship, I think their back story is so cute and romantic and all that lovely stuff don’t get me wrong.

But there’s this under tone of Betty constantly giving things up for Simon and we don’t really talk about it a lot???

Like, Betty let Simon have his moment with the artifact and the pubic, she also doesn’t go to her trip in favor of going on an expedition with Simon. Then when she goes to leave again she stays for Simon.

Even Fiona is like “you went with her on the bus?” And Simon just looks all confused like “what? No, why would I do that?” Like- hello???

Then after that she gave up her entire life and mind to get Simon back to the point where she literally says “I don’t know who I am without him anymore.” And that just sucks! Since the beginning Betty has been the one giving up the most, her mind, her own possible career, and it’s a story of love of course and it’s very sweet but it’s also a story of sacrifice.

Their love wasn’t a perfect solution, it was already sort of imbalanced when it started and I lowkey love how we see those cracks even before they’re together.

Again, I love their relationship and I think it’s sweet. I just think we should talk about Betty’s side more, especially when she tells a story of what most women do in relationships, sacrifice.

[skrunksthatwunk]

kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.

and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.

and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?

hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.

it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

and that's that!!

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[todayisafridaynight]

any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

[jackass-jones]

I think the best way to describe my feelings about aini is like if you were craving this specific meal from some distant restaurant you haven’t been to in ages and you try to replicate it on your own and it actually tastes decently good but then you get to eat the original again and you’re like “oh god what the hell I’ve been making garbage this whole time why did I think I could beat the original”

[msvorderofoperations]

New dream diary.

This one was kind of odd in its tone. At times deathly serious, and others incredibly superficial. I dreamed that I was in a far future kind of setting where this game had kind of taken over the world at large for good and for ill. It existed in many forms: a miniature based war game, a trading card game, and mixed reality massively multiplayer online video game. I say mixed reality, not just as something that incorporates real world objects into itself, but as something that directly affects reality as well. It also conferred great powers on high level players. But I will get back to this in a bit.

Another aspect of this dream was that I was in a polyamorous relationship in a sort of hub and spoke system. Myself and a few other people were romantically involved with this one woman, but weren't really involved with each other. And for whatever reason, the polycule all lived together, except for the woman we were all romantically tied to. Some of them I got along with great, and we were good friends, but this one guy I did not much like at all and we pointedly tried to spend as little time around each other as possible. This is borne out at one point by this guy talking up how much time they are going to spend together the next time she visits, and I take him at his word. But when she arrives, she specifically wants to be with me.

This is awkward for a number of reasons, not all of them interpersonal. I had been prepping for a day to myself, playing a single player version of the card game which was offline but could still record progress and would update my associated stats upon the next time I logged in. I also had not fully bathed, and this is where the dream took a very tonally strange tangent. Instead of bathing at home like would be the sane thing to do, I instead find out about a fully automated robotic bathhouse in India, and opt to use it instead. Doing so involves me fully teleporting myself to the complete other side of the world, which I do as a lark. But in doing so, I forget to bring my shampoo, so my hair is still a greasy mess. And again, instead of just doing it at home, I feel the need to make the trip once more.

Unsurprisingly, one of the things our shared romantic interest wanted to do together was have sex. But in thinking I was not going to be partaking today, I gratified myself shortly before she arrived. Which the dude who lied about her being with him today (sorry that I don't have names here, my dream did not provide any so I have to describe everyone in terms of my relationship to them) makes fun of me for doing. Which, in addition to being shitty by itself, he implies that by doing so I am unworthy to be in a relationship with her because of it. For her part, she does not seem to pay this any mind. She is actually quite interested in the details, because she finds the idea of me touching myself to the idea of her very hot. From here the narrative starts to pull away, as for whatever reason my dreams will often be sexually charged but they almost never actually feature any explicit sexual content.

The narrative then takes on a more limited-omniscient perspective, showcasing the shared goings-on of the other members of the polycule as I am away with our shared love. Specifically, it starts with one of the people I am friends with investigating a recent, and hugely influential moment that happened in the MMO part of this game. It was a group activity that involved trying to stop the latest attack from the antagonist faction, which went about as bad as it could have. All of us had different roles and skill sets, which we had tried to apply as best we could to minimize the impact of this event. I will spare the unimportant details, but the long and short of it is the my role was the intelligence gatherer, and I found out what the object of this enemy incursion was. Despite being about a large scale attack across many parts of the in-game space, the main objective for them was a bomb, planted in a playground at a school. I tried to warn people of this, saying "Its a bomb, in the mirror in the playground." But for whatever reason my messages were becoming garbled and what people heard was "In the mirror underground" and no one could make sense of it, so they took it as being spam.

While the thing with the bomb was happening, the guy who was determined to undermine me was dealing with his own problems. He had proper heard my warning and had been trying to make his way to the school to either disarm it or evacuate. Unfortunately, he had run afoul of the bunch of extremely dangerous high-level enemy monsters. They were the weird giant worm-like things that could move shockingly fast, and had minor reality warping powers. Specifically, they had the ability to redirect kinetic weapons fire elsewhere, which was a big problem because that was the main way this dude engaged in combat. The last time he had fought these things, they redirected his bullets into another member of the polycule, and killed them. Vowing to not let that happen again, he instead tries to escape, but it proves very difficult as he has become surrounded. The one merciful thing about these worm enemies is that while they have incredible hearing and absurd reaction speed, they are completely blind. So while he can't find his way free or fight out, as long as he stays calm he isn't in much danger himself.

Eventually though, the time to stop the attack passes and the bomb does end up going off. It is discovered in the aftermath that the reason the placement went undetected was because the explosive being used is a new, novel compound that does not read as an explosive. It is functionally an inert mud in basically all circumstances, but once the catalyst is introduce it becomes a hyper-powerful energetic explosive. To the point that all it took to blow up this whole school was something about the size of a tennis ball. And the very weird thing is, the catalyst is blood. Any kind will work.

Also in the ongoing investigation, there is a secondary site where no lives were lost but has fairly significant structural damage. In winding back the game state to see how bad it actually is, he sees that a player was present at the time of the event. It turns out to be the guy who was trapped by the worms. It seems in his frustration at having not been able to stop the explosion, in the ensuing chaos after he went on a destructive rampage in a place where there were no people present and then used the editing powers granted to high-level players to make it look like it was done by the opposing faction.

When my time alone with my paramour comes to an end, my friend quietly confronts me with the information that the other guys was responsible for the secondary destruction. We are keeping it on the down low not because we place any blame on him, but because we see that this event has enormously effected him and that we want to try and help him work through what he's going through. So we opt to try and organize a group activity for the whole polycule.

While that is happening, the subject of all our affection tries to make good with the dude who is clearly Going Through It and low-key making it everyone's problem. She tries assisting him with other aspects of the game like the TCG and the miniature, but at every juncture, he brushes her off and intimates that he is better off alone. Which obviously is very upsetting to her.

In the meantime however, we have finished our planning for the group excursion. We opt for something simple in just taking a walking tour of an area downtown and sampling the food and drink available at the best places there. As we are are out and about, an incident occurs. In a shared roadway, a dude in a pickup truck doesn't stop for us, and I end up doing pretty intense damage to it to stop it before it hits anyone. In trying to fix up his truck in the aftermath, I end up kind of ham-fistedly apply the high-level editing powers that I have only recently been given access to. I try to restore the surface of the hood of the truck back to what it was, but end up incorporating the surface of the road and the dirt beneath into it's appearance. While my friend shows me more direct ways of utilizing the powers to more useful ends, the troubled guy goes to check on the driver.

It's at this point that this take a turn for the worse. The driver is fully unconscious, which is odd because the truck had been moving very slowly at the time of the accident. In checking his face against records, it turns out that this guys is a known collaborator with the enemy faction and is wanted by the authorities. As this is happening we have opened the hood to see if there was any damage to the engine that we can repair. And we find...nothing. No engine, no battery, nothing that would allow this car to move under it's own power. Just ruptured containers and what looks for all the world like clay soil. We quickly realize that this car was being used to smuggle whatever this substance is, and by hiding it in the engine bay and impelling it through unseen means, cursory searches wouldn't find it. Some kid grabs a chunk of it, and before anyone can stop him, all hell breaks loose.

In handling it and tossing it to himself, it hits a mosquito and it becomes abundantly clear what this stuff is. it explodes with a incredible report, and the whole scene erupts in incredible carnage. Because of how crowded this place had been, the viscera keeps reigniting it, all while the shock of the explosions push the remaining amounts of the stuff all over the place. It has a terrible cascading effect where is seems that there is no safe place to be. Even those off street level in the buildings above are succumbing to secondary and tertiary explosions. I am able to survive the initial blast and try to corral people to stem the tide of violence, but nothing seems to be working. While all this mayhem is going on, I see my love trying to save someone who has broken off from the group. And I see in excruciating detail as a rogue piece of debris catches her in the head and immediately and soundlessly kills her.

At this point I wake up.

[keen-umbreon]

yall i am craving some of the foods that my old partner from team plasma made me all the time and i am so tempted to try calling all his phone numbers and visiting his old haunts. he grew all his ingredients in this wonderful green house that he technically-illegally owned off the side of a route. so it wouldnt be the same from a store, i know cuz ive tried ones from stores or from other people.

i miss: his crispy fried soy curls with nutritional yeast and veggie seasoning. his black-bean brownies. his apricorn smoothies with spinach and bananas and lovingly picked berry combos. his home-made-go-meals of buns filled with seitan sausage and cheese substitute or my favorite berry chunks that he'd always have on days where we'd have a raid on a breeding mill. his little candies that he would shape almost like pokemon but theyd always be lopsided. the way he'd always be able to find some form of food that would work great with whatever tea id bring and wed have a short picnic before we got yelled at for absconding for too long. how hed laugh at my jokes even when they were drier than the desert resort and his laugh was this quiet chuckle but it made my world. his roast potatoes with a thick garlic-and-brown-sugar glaze. how we'd both work so well together like the faces of a klink. his little sitrus-and-pecha buns that hed give me to take home the days after we got into fights with each other over different opinions as an apology. how hed love everything i cooked for him back, teas and breads and over-dried fruit leather. how i eventually learned how to read his blank facial expressions clearer than anything and ive never been able to read a human face but i could read his. he understood me and i understood him.

i wonder if he'd hate me now. if he would punch me in the face like he did that one counter-protester at that gym rally. hed probably do worse to me. i wonder if he got out. as part of my parole, i cant contact anyone from plasma. i miss him so much, i feel like im half empty. he wouldnt recognize me, hed see me only as the enemy that we fought against for so long. i dont even recognize myself today. my hairs the wrong color, wrong length, my facial expressions all different, the way i interact with others all wrong, other people are all wrong, trainers and pokemon all wrong, food tastes wrong, im all wrong. im going to bed. maybe everything will feel right in the morning light. i miss feeling right. i miss the certainty. i miss him. damnit alum.

#ooc all the food is from meals ive made or have been made for me and i legit miss those foods but i can never make them right anymore

#ooc so i put that feeling into this and also the feeling of missing someone important and of not recognizing yourself in the mirror anymore

#ooc this is a recovery story similar to mine but hes still in the early stages in some ways

#ooc i had so many nights where id miss something little and then id miss something like the feeling of closeness and shared bond

#ooc and then id go from missing the friendly hugs to full blown wishing i could go back to it

#ooc its the worst feeling to realize that you cant EVER go back to how you were before

#ooc but i wouldnt change my current happiness for that bond ever im a lot better of a person and a lot happier without them