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executive dysfunction

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Kid today (probably like 6 years) came up to me and was like "teacher teacher what's your name" and i was like "asha :) also im not a teacher" and he was like "okay asha asha asha I need help" and i was like "okay buddy what's wrong" and he showed me this chunk of metal he'd found sitting in the sun that he was just carrying around and it was super sharp and super hot from the sun and he was like "my hand hurts :(" and i was like "ok. put that down. does it still hurt?" And he did and was like "no." and then he picked it up again and immediately went "my hand hurts :(" again and then I was like "kid. put that down and stop touching it" and he was like "ok but when I touch it my hand hurts :(" and i was like "Please Just Stop Touching That. If you dont touch it your hand won't hurt" and this went on for like another 2 minutes before i got him to realize that if he stopped touching the metal it would not hurt. Kids are so fucking weird man

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funny how the popular conception of reptiles is that theyre like, slimy and wet. meanwhile they have smooth dry scales, while we mammals are covered in glands that secrete water and oils and other chemicals. where do we sweaty greasy synapsids get off calling lizards slimy

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My mom’s friend’s parents had two beautiful cherrywood coffins built by an artisan for them and stored in their basement until they were needed. Which I think is so badass. Why put the burden of buying the $2k+ casket on your family when you’re dead? Why not preorder so you can have a Halloween decoration?

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Veni vidi conveni consedi

I came I saw I fits I sits

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byron, shelley, coleridge, blake soothe my soul lest i should wake and if my homies all be fake drown them in the fucking lake

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thinking about the character a lot today. call it pondering my blorb

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if not friend why friend sha—

never mind

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truly from the bottom of my heart i hate the level of enshittification etsy has reached because it's still the best place to buy patterns for my hobby and every time i go scrolling through endless ai-generated bullshit to finally dig up a human-designed pattern i like, i'm hit with a deluge of 'popular!! 563 people are looking at this right now!! it's in 134632 baskets!! you must buy immediately!!!' it's a pdf file. it's a fucking pdf file. do you get off on trying to give people fomo over a fucking pdf file. fuck off. get diarrhea forever.

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you dumb dumbs don't need AI to come up with ideas, you just need a husband who's had 2 glasses of wine and an innate desire to make you happy.

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happy first week of august to those who celebrate

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foliage study :-) there's an angel in the garden

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I love love love saying "I scavenged a working microwave in the boylands" but nobody ever knows the reference and it breaks my heart

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it's crazy how plausible all the shit the corporations do in the murderbot diaries is. that one scene when murderbot was talking to those humans who had signed a 20 year corporate work contract and it asked them if the contract specified 20 years by the standard local calendar or by a proprietary calendar created by the company was downright unsettling 😬 if the ceos of modern earth companies read these books they would probably start crying because the government won't let them do most of this in real life.