#I don’t know if you can tell

[dont-fiddle-with-my-riddles]

july 11 - essential - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 218

(my bad yall i’ve actually been writing my own little story w my ocs!!)

James rubbed the spot between his eyes, fixing his glasses. “Love, we really don’t need it. We already have one at home.”

Regulus gasped dramatically, leaning close to whisper-yell at his boyfriend. “It?! His name is Oreo and I love him,” he held up the black cat, which was splattered in white spots, close to his face.

James rolled his eyes. He thought it would be a great idea to take Regulus to a cat cafe for a date. What he didn’t realize is how much his boyfriend loves to take things — or rather pets — home with him.

“This is essential to my life. If I don’t have him, I will perish due to the rapid waves of a horrifying storm that takes ahold of me because I didn’t take this angelic fluffball of-”

James put his hands on Regulus’s shoulders, leaning over the table as he had done plenty of times now. “You’ve said this about every single cat that came to perch on your lap. Besides, you’re going to make Apollo feel bad,” he reminded, holding up a polaroid picture of a ginger cat with way too much energy.

Regulus simply grumbled in response. “Fine.”

James smiled. At least he knew what to get Regulus for his next birthday. A cute little Oreo cat.

[sherlock-on-opium]

[methinmycoffee]

To(l)k(i)en Black, and how South Park over does characters

‘Member Randy? I mean, remember when he was a relatively uncontroversial, pretty well liked character. I wasn’t his biggest fan, but I enjoyed him well enough, I felt he didn’t overstay his welcome in episodes but still managed to deliver a full story. I feel like this was the general consensus. But over the years, probably starting when Randy won the Bro-Down in 2015, he’s become much more disliked. He’s a rude, asshat, weed farming, terrible father who overtook like 4 whole seasons.

To a much lesser extent, I feel like something similar has happened to a Mr. Butters Stotch. I never liked him, his character type just tends to not be my favorite, but I think they’ve changed him so much, and not for the better. They took the “cute guy says some awful things” joke too far, and now he’s just kind of a jerk. I don’t think he got overdone to the extent Randy was, but he still got so many episodes that they ran out of things to do with him and began to turn him into an asshole (with arms and legs and everything).

And I feel like something similar might happen to Token, (who I will call Token because every time it’s written down in the show, it’s spelled like that [The List, TMI, South Park is Gay, etc]). His first episode, Here Comes the Neighborhood, is pretty decent, Token is a good character with realistic personal motivations and a pretty funny song. I like him, I feel like he had potential to be a great character, if he was developed a little more. But recently he’s become more of a central character, and we’ve lost a lot of the character we used to have. It hasn’t happened yet, at least not like Randy or Butters, but I feel like we’re on track to over-do him.

This could just be me, but Token is becoming so nothing. He doesn’t really do his own thing anymore, just becoming a prop, sort of a character for other characters to interact with, in usually racially motivated episodes. I feel like this might turn him into a character that just sort of takes over episodes, but doesn’t really do anything. Let me be clear, he hasn’t yet, I still like Token and his role in the show, but I’m nervous that he’s going to shift into a worse character and ultimately make the show less enjoyable because of his Flanderization and how over-done he is modern episodes.

I feel like the show has a tendency recently to go “oh people like this character” and then make them the star of every single episode until fans of the character and people who don’t like them are sick of them. Or “oh they like it when this character does x” and then ruin the fun for everyone because it’s not a sometimes thing anymore. Or they take those things and inevitably run out of ways to use that character or idea, so they put it into situations where it does not work and end up making the character into an unlikeable hodgepodge of terrible and underdeveloped traits.

[shush-your-face]

Reading and writing smut isn’t enough, I need someone to come here right now and absolutely take me apart <33

[kangals]

friendly advice from vetmed: I know that when your animal has an infection that is generating a lot of discharge, you want to describe that to the veterinarian, because it’s a concerning sign. that is true. I also know that the most common word for this type of discharge is “pus,” so it’s logical that that’s the word that you’ll use when describing what’s going on. and in English, we often add a “-y” when we’re using a word as a descriptor.

but. the word. the word you are looking for. is purulent.

please stop sending in messages telling the doctor that your dog has a “pussy wound.”

[moonilit]

He got some fact checking to do

[lilislegacy]

piper: what’s a cute little thing that belongs to your partner and whenever you see it, it just reminds you that they’re yours

will, softly smiling: nico’s playing cards

nico: *trying not to blush*

leo: calypso’s threads. it comforts me to see them sitting on my table

calypso: *looking at him lovingly*

hazel, with heart eyes: frank’s bow. i always think of how handsome he looks when he shoots it

frank: *giving her heart eyes*

percy: annabeth’s fucking mile-long blonde hairs that i pull out of my buttcrack in the shower

annabeth: *evil cackling across the room*

[odetojupiter]

andreil are perfect for each other bc neil thinks he’s mysterious but gives so much away whilst andrew thinks he’s being straight forward but is actually being mysterious

neil’s out here giving andrew all his secrets whilst thinking ‘no one can know’, and andrew’s out here going ‘everyone should know this already’ but actually no one figured it out.

[anna-scribbles]

adrien tell ur mom to leave me alone !

[largemandrill]

I made another one

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

[rhinocio]

seemed like the right time

bonus:

[cassandracain52]

Reverse trope

where instead of the Bats forgetting that they’re adopted (something actual adoptees do on occasion and is hilarious) they forget that some of them *cough Damian cough* aren’t

_______

Jason in the heat of a probably ridiculous argument: Yeah well YOU’RE adopted!

Tim just as invested in said argument: So are YOU! We all are!

Damian who had previously been quietly watching this unfold while he drank his tea: Actually I’m not

Tim and Jason who didn’t realize he was there but are already DoneTM: …… Damian continuing to sip his tea entirely unbothered: :)

Damian: Because I’m not an orphan-

Jason: ok, yoU KNOW WHAT-

____

or like in their group texts (that we know they have thanks to Nightwing (2016) #79)

*Steph changed the group chat name to “Bruce Wayne’s Personal Orpanage”*

Jason: Really?

Steph: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Steph: It’s the truth Damian: Both my parents are very much alive

Steph: Shhh you don’t count

Cass: Mine too Duke: Technically so are mine

Barbara: I still have a dad so there’s that

Steph: YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE JOKE

Tim: Stephanie aren’t BOTH of your parents alive???

Steph: KNOW WHAT? FINE

*Steph changed the group chat name to “The Technicality Police”*

Tim: well that’s more accurate at least

Steph: :)

_____

Damian in his 10th argument with Tim of the day: That’s- this is-

Tim in full Antagonizing Big Brother mode: I’m listening

Damian -a Gen Z and best friend to Jon Kent- extremely frustrated: This is such Motherless behavior!

Tim taken aback: [voice cracking] W-what-?

Damian who didn’t mean to say that but doubling down anyway because his bloodline doesn’t believe in admitting mistakes: THIS! This is such Motherless behavior!

The rest of the family who is also motherless: :O

Cass whose been spending way too much time with Meme Queen Stephanie Brown and not involved in the argument but finding it entertaining regardless: [nodding along seriously] Facts

Tim: [visibly betrayed] CASS WHAT-

A video copy of the interaction gets sent out anonymously to the entire family. Barbara is the prime suspect but there is no proof as of yet (and they will never find any)

Steph, Cass, and Duke continue to respond “Motherless behavior” everytime one of the bats does something they deem questionable/insane. It is said often

It only stops when one night in the middle of patrol. Batman is in full Dark Knight mode (possibly in the middle of threatening someone) and descends from the ceiling into the middle of a warehouse drug deal, dark cape billowing out behind him-

and Steph just automatically whispers “Motherless behavior” forgetting her com was still very much on

She immediately realizes what she said and frantically apologizes but it’s too late.

Bruce just- Blue Screens. Completely stunned into silence

Dick -who was unfortunate enough to be the one teamed up with Batman tonight- is fighting for his life to choke back his laughter

Jason doesn’t even try to stop his and has collapsed to his knees from lack of air from how hard he’s laughing. Cass try’s half heartedly patting his back to help to no avail

The criminals are terrified into surrender from The Red Hood just laughing hysterically at seemingly nothing while Batman just Stands There

Damian ends up being the only one still functioning enough to continue arresting everyone, though he is privately amused and strangely proud

Tim and Barbara have saved both the com recordings and cowl footage to at least three different servers and sent it to absolutely everyone before Batman even recovers

Duke finds out second hand the next morning and is furious he missed the chance to see it in person. He declares he is moving to the nightshift so it doesn’t happen again. (He is all talk and goes to bed by 9 pm)

Bruce bans the phrase for life and promises swift and server punishment to anyone who dares to use it again

[mabbbish]

sky bound doodles + jays five stages of grief

[detentiontrack]

A lot of people think my autism is “getting better” but I think a lot of it has to do with being an adult and being able to make my own decisions. I used to have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns and on the outside seemed more “obviously” autistic. But I’m 19 now, so I have a lot more say in my life. I only buy one brand of socks. I only own 2 types of shoes. All of my clothes are the exact same. I only eat what *I* want to eat and think feels safe. I can drive and can choose when to leave for appointments and obligations. If I were still a child and forced to wear socks with seams in the toes or clothes that fit me wrong or foods that trigger my sensory issues or have my routine thrown off by other people, I would have A LOT more issues. But since I’m an adult, I have control over most aspects of my life. I’m not “less autistic” now, I just have more free will and know myself well enough to avoid triggers.