#I can and will lose anything paper
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
More writing-based notes for scenes I want to put in Where the Wild Things Go when I get back to my computer:
- Go back and input a scene talking about why the Hummingbird wants to leave their parents permanently, preferably by showcasing the parent’s attitude towards Wild Things.
- Go back and show more of the Hummingbird adjusting to living in a forest and the culture that goes along with it, probably before the Hummingbird has their full transformation and they’re still living with the Spider alongside the other young Wild Things
- Show the Hummingbird learning to craft a spear that they can use in hunting and learning how to use said spear.p
- Show how the Wild Things typically survive in the wintertime, since large farmland is pretty much impossible given the circumstances. As a result, the Wild Things are more social with each other and hunt in groups to ensure that nobody dies of cold and that everyone gets to eat.
- The Hummingbird creating a place to live, possibly sharing a living space or living nearby the Cyclopean Feline, basically finding the materials to decorate it and make it livable.
- Show a different winter, and a much harsher one, where a group of Wild Things are nearly shot to death after chasing some sort of animal into the field near the Civilized Society. This leads to a Civilized Person leaving a couple bags of food near the edge of the forest, which leads to a debate about whether or not the food is safe to take or if it’s been poisoned/if they’ll be shot upon entering the field to grab the food. But desperation leads the Hummingbird to go out and grab the bags before quickly retreating to the forest.
- The Hummingbird, now a much better flier, doing air trickshots through the trees alongside other flying Wild Things.
- The Cyclopean Feline adopting a young Wild Thing (maybe 12-13?) and the Hummingbird agreeing to co-raise the kid with them. The kid is probably on-par with a griffon but has the front half of a tiger and the back half (including the wings) of a dragon. Basically show them raising and interacting with the kid.
- The Hummingbird unwisely getting near the Civilized Society and spotting a partially transformed kid inside the wall who is being chased. Hummingbird then dives down, grabs the kid, and flies away with them, which causes a ruckus within the wall and gets the Hummingbird in vague trouble when they get back.
- Another average day in the Hummingbird’s life now that they’re slightly older and a more functional adult, plus them checking in on the now fully-transformed Wild Thing they saved. They also fly around with the Tiger-Dragon.
- The Civilized Society getting more and more aggressive towards the Wild Place, which eventually leads to a party of them going out to capture Wild Things. They nearly capture the Tiger-Dragon, who’s probably around 16-17 at this point, but the Hummingbird saves them and gets captured instead.
- The Hummingbird is caged inside the wall and meets an old classmate of theirs, who is their jailer. The classmate recognizes them and is horrified by their transformation, but the Hummingbird eventually convinced them to unlock the cell and let the Hummingbird fly away.
- Civilized Society continues to be aggressive, which causes more and more Wild Things to leave the forest in search of somewhere better. The Hummingbird, Cyclopean Feline, and Tiger-Dragon stay as long as they can, but eventually also choose to leave together in search of somewhere safer. The Spider, however, opts to stay so it can continue to care for young Wild Things. The family wishes it luck and then leaves.
- Show a couple different places that the family travel to and see if it’s a good fit for them, leaving for various reasons. They do, however, eventually find a place they like and decide to stay. They then have to learn to adjust to this new place and to having fewer Wild Things around.
- The three of them continue to live their lives and they all slowly get older. They also reminisce along the way about the Wild Place, and the many creatures who lived there alongside them.
- Eventually, the Hummingbird and Cyclopean Feline are quite old and struggle to do many tasks, but are still relatively happy and enjoy their life together, especially since the Tiger-Dragon is capable of caring for them. The Hummingbird does eventually die (although not of violent causes), and dies looking up at the sky and seeing the birds flying around.
#long post#also personal notes because this is more reliable than paper#I can and will lose anything paper#dear god this story is gonna be a long one#it’s already at like 4k words and that was only with a few scenes#writing
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ohhhhmygod im gonna be sick. actually nauseous and i did it to myself - there was a spider on the countertop and i Panicked, grabbing the first distance-killer i could grab. it was a grease cleaner spray. i buried it in the stuff, walked away to recover mentally, came back
it fucking fell apart and dissolved into the cleaner. i both feel horrible and im disgusted beyond words. how the fuck do i get rid of it
#slamming my face into a wall repeatedly#i cant leave it there to deal with after Sleep#bc my cats like to go onto the countertops when no one is looking#and i dont want either of them to get poisoned#but i cant rinse it into the sink with the faucet hose bc there's stuff in the sink#but idk if i can bring myself to do dishes with That next to me#and my fear of spiders is so intense that i Cannot get close enough to take care of it with a towel or somethin#im very good at fucking myself over in various ways!#if i had an appetite id lose it. permanently#what if! instead of dealing with it! i curl up in a corner and cry#except im not gonna do that ive filled my tears quota for the year & doing nothing wont help anything#sorry for venting again i just. ohhhhh this is horrible this is Terrible#if i still had my whacking stick id tape a big wad of paper towels to the end and clean the mess up that way#from a Distance!#absolutely unprompted#i wish i wasnt so terrified of spiders#they scare me So much....#the point of feeling physically ill! and like sobbing! or panicking! and this spider was Big!#i wish they'd stop coming into the house.... i hate killing them but i cant function knowing theyre there#but i can't force myself close enough to put them in a cup and bring them outside#so now i have THAT on my counter. disintegrated spider.#life is too fucking much lately... jesus.... i should really just bite the bullet and get this shit over with#no use waiting a month in perpetual terror unease and guilt. do it scared yk yk#im tired of my chest hurting and not being able to eat! i dont like it! i need change! terrifying horrible change!
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
i really dont understand studying at all like genuinely i don't know what it is . i know about "taking notes" and "reading the textbook" and that's it . quizlet doesn't do shit for me because i don't know what to. do. with the cards. look at them ? am i supposed to just look at them . No one bothered teaching me actual skills bc i got good grades when i was 8 and now i am so hopelessly lost . why did no one think to teach me this for when stuff got harder than four plus three
#text#ive never understood flashcards . like what to do with them. how is that any more different or helpful than just like... writing a list on#paper of vocab terms or whatever#and like conceptually i know 'learning' is like. not only committing things to memory but also being able to engage with it which#is why teachers loveeeee group discussions and essays. but like. you read the text and then you go to class and Discuss but how do you#Learn what the text is saying like how do you . put it in your brain and udnerstand and remember it .#i think im missing something very simple because everyone else in the world seems to understand this fine#like where does the part where you go oh! i understand this and can explain it in my own words. Happen#how do u force it to happen if its not something ur autistic about#Like the only example i can think of rn of this is when i hyperfixated on hpa axis dysregulation + trauma a couple weeks ago#so i was learning stuff about it for Fun and not for school so no comprehension tests or notes or anything#and basically i'd just put on a webinar while i sorted seaglass or worked on sewing or whaever#and i can explain the concept fine. ur brain controls ur body so if it gets too scared ur body loses its shit basically.#but i dont remember most of the words. i still can barely define neurotransmitter#i can apply this to my own life but i confuse the hippocampus and the frontal lobe and the amygdala etc#and i couldnt point out any of them on a diagram#i dont get it . like i know a lot and simultaneously nothing at all abt it#how am i supposedto be remembering words and numbers AND understanding the concepts AND im supposed to do that between#reading the book and engaging in thoughtful conversation with my peers i dont understand
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
disgusted and frustrated and disgusted again with all the non-USA Jews on instagram who are both sides-ing the shit out the us election and leaning heavily into "don't vote democrat"
YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID AND SELF-CENTERED AND DID I MENTION STUPID AND PRIVILEGED AND ALSO STUPID!
#i don't know what to tag this#this is not a vote to fuck up. we already saw what happened when trump got elected the first time#WE WILL NOT SURVIVE A SECOND TRUMP PRESIDENCY#has kamala harris been milquetoast as fuck about antisemitism? yes. unfortunately she has to do that in order to#court muslim voters. and there are many more muslim voters than there are jewish voters.#but these non-usa jews on insta who are making israel into a single issue... YOU ARE JUST AS WELL INFORMED AS A COLUMBIA STUDENT#and that is NOT a compliment. they're telling on themselves that they don't know anything about usa politics other than news abt jews#i unfollowed goyim en masse on October 7 because of their despicable uninformed and downright evil takes on jews#and today i am unfollowing jews en masse because of their dangerous uninformed and downright stupid fucking takes on this election#trump is already blaming jews for if he loses the election! he is priming his base to harm jews if he loses! and you think him WINNING#would somehow be BETTER?!#vote the Dems in and THEN you can hold their feet to the fire about their antisemitism#but for fuck's sake-- if the Republicans win? you better get your aliyah papers in order. there's no hope.#if you abstain from voting or you vote for trump/jill stein/harambe... then you deserve what you get. the rest of us don't. but you do.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
if i ever get around to it i'll maybe write a boring book for people who think they're boring
#just me hi#if i ever get around to it i'm going to be an even Worse writer >>:33#i'm primarily an artist but my spirit is made out of writer so it's a lot goin on hfbshf#if i ever get around to it i'll make a terrible book for people who think they're boring to find funny#and if i ever get around to it i'll make a comic only chronically sleep-deprived people will find enjoyable#and if i get around to it i'm going to put ALL my brain chemicals into something and just throw it into an open blender and hit the max#setting hgbhfvsh#and if i get around to it i'll make a thousand unfinished stories and put them in nice brown paper with a nice string bow to really tie the#together lol :3#maybe i'll make a page of just a ton of ideas with an interesting question to be answered and bury it for the worms to enjoy#if i ever get around it i'm going to paint my parents!#if i ever get around to it i'm gonna learn a bajillion languages#if i ever get around to it i'll learn to play the sax#if i ever get around to it i'll build sandcastles with murder mysteries inside#if i ever get around to i'll delete all those screenshots my computer stored that i didn't know about lol#if i ever get around to it i'll really look into the tropes i like#if i ever get around to it i'll daydream of that middle part i can never figure out#i don't think i'll ever finish anything but i also never have nothing to do :D#'if i ever get around to' it feels like a wish you're content with not coming true#sometimes you still hope on it but y'kno i don't think i'm gonna lose sleep over this one boss hbfshv#//yea tho i'm gonna head to bed lol :> toodlesss !!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I did a sketch on paper with a pencil for the first time in like a decade because i'm definitely not obsessed with him.....I might put it on my tablet and redraw it digitally to make it look better when I can make myself not have art block and migraines
#honkai star rail#star rail#dan heng#imbibitor lunae#hsr#sketches#arts#honkai star rail fanart#dan heng fanart#imbibitor lunae fanart#star rail fanart#hsr fanart#hes so pretty. i want to draw him pretty. but im in one of those bad art funks where i cant draw anything so hes not pretty enough!#i have decided i hate drawing on paper with pencils and digital is more fun#i forgot how gross paper gets when you erase more than a few times.....and i erase too much because im bad at drawing lines#and everything blends together too much. digital is better. i'll try to make pretty dan hengs 🥹#but i need to stop getting pain when i sit at my desk and try to draw so i can actually do it and also lose this art block#i really want to draw pretty art but im never satisfied ffjddkdk especially pretty characters i love#also it looks like tumblr made the quality garbage? is it just me? why it do that???? click on it i guess maybe it looks better that way
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place
#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd#but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well#just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well#which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out#which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore#its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi#see the other thing is#if i talk about my mental health at all#people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint#or feel sorry for me which i also dont want#all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all#like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff#i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly#im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares#i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to#and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one#they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored#im losing my mind steadily#and thats not even onto the physical problems#but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying#‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket#if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your#fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces#sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues#but then i talk to other women and it is#it just doesnt make sense and i hate it#but i never rly got help on private insurance either so#tbd#depression cw
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Losing my mind from lack of sleep again and having the worst creative block (I just barely managed to squeeze out those last two doodles, ugh)
I've tried designing more puppets (decided to build frank frankly as a ventriloquist style mouth btw once I have the materials)
I've tried revisiting multiple fanfic wips (so many Logan angst ones that are at like 90% completion but I need that motivation to finish them)
I've tried coming up with more analysis prompts but I can't think of anything that's extensive enough to post about
I'm just out of ideas on everything... But my hands are itching to create Something but I can't seem to actually do it
#its driving me nuts#its like when i have an idea in my mind and i HAVE to get it out of my mind and onto paper or into my phone or computer asap#and until i do i cant focus on anything else#except now its like theres an idea but its just blank?? and i cant get it to go away so i can focus bc theres nothing to write down or draw#im losing my mind from this it feels awful#orbs thought bubbles
1 note
·
View note
Text
if Scott wins against jimmy I am never voting for Scott ever again in any upcoming polls.
#I JUST WANT THE PAPER BAG MAN TO WIN SOMETHING FOR ONCE#IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK??????#THE ONLY UPSIDE TO JIMMY LOSING IS THAT WE CAN BULLYHIM#FOR HIS EVER SO GREAT LOSERSHIP IN THE LIFE SEERIES#LEAKING INTO OTHER THINGS.#this man is such a loser that he can’t even win a poll that’s designed in a way where one of the qualifications#is being a loser.#damn.#this wet cat with sprinkles spritzed onto his face is an amazing disaster#when it comes to winning literally anything.#his loser boy swag is so powerful that he still manages to lose at losing.#jimmy solidarity
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Life is short, eat the damn cake" is all well and good until you're diagnosed with pre-diabetes and high cholesterol and suddenly you can't eat the damn cake
#lynx tales#chocolate and potato chips are what make life worth living#and they just want me to stop eating things I like?#I don't think life is bearable if all I can eat are uncooked vegetables#this had to happen on a week where my meds sgot messed up too#so i AM feeling the full force of every emotion ever#and I can't seem to actually be able to DO anything about my meds#because one i just fucking#LOST#like how do you lose a bottle of pills still in the CVS bad with the big stiff paper attached#I have looked Everywhere#no dice#my therapist said I should just call them#but that is............................bad#phone bad#and also#it's psychiatric medication so what's the likelihood they'll just replace it#the other one.......no idea what happened there#I know it got resubmitted#but I haven't had any updates from the pharmacy so like#everything hates me#especially my body#anyway this post was about food#I would rather die than not be able to eat what I want#I cave chocolate and salt all the time every damn day#I'm tying not to give into that so i don't die i guess#but I would kind of rather die than let the last little bits of real joy and control I have over my life go away
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Depression is wild sometimes. I spent 6 hours wallowing in nothing, just vegetating in my chair, and now it's like I just woke up and am ready to do workout and start the day. Thank god I had the foresight to get up at 6 am so it's only noon
#My doc said to try and reduce my dose which I think I did too fast#I immediately went from a full pill every day to a full pill then 3/4 pill every other day alternating#At first I didn't notice any major change and chalked up my lack of motivation to the weather#But yesterday I felt like Absolute Dog shit. Like full empty. Didn't want to do anything I usually procrastinate with#Nothing at all. So I took the remaining quarter. and another full pill today#I think I'll go with taking a reduced dose twice a week for a bit before going further#Hopefully I can get back to writing my fucking paper soon. Either today or tomorrow#Personal#Maybe I should've noticed a bit sooner that my usual morning lethargy went from an hour and a half to like. Three hours+#Who would've thought#At least I manage to get up early so I don't lose the entire day. That'd really kill my mood
0 notes
Text
desperately trying to find a radqueer post with the number 24 in it. please i need to find enough radqueer posts to write out all of the lyrics to gold by james marriott /j
#can you be bored at 24#sick to the bone of wanting more#throw a paper airplane and watch it fall#have i waited too long again#im losing sight of the same friends#ill be back where i was i just dont know when#/lyr#i did not google the lyrics to the song when typing that if i got anything wrong feel free to put me down
0 notes
Text
loosing it
#LOSING MY MARBLESSS#how tf am i supposed to like myself and want to live when the world is terrible and people are cruel#this paper came out showing data that having pronouns in a job app will make u less hireable#even LESS so if its anything other than he or she#FFFFFF#how am i supposed to normalize using they them pronouns when i need to cosplay straight girly to get a job so i can#pay rent and buy food#sigh
0 notes
Text
just remembered i was supposed to get the Grief Chapter vinyl preorder (the one with the signed card) alongside a hoodie as a christmas gift and while i understand it was a preorder so it wouldn't arrive immediately as it was meant to ship out after the album released... it literally never arrived.
so i can only assume that means it was never ordered for me in the first place after the person who was SUPPOSED to be ordering it had an argument with mom and said "i guess your kids won't have a fucking christmas then"
like wow just fuck me over because you hate my mom i guess. fucking bitch.
#ryan's rants#remind me to delete this later#it sucks too getting it with the card was a limited fucking offer!!!!!!#i'll literally never own anything signed by the fucking band because of this bitch!!!!#(<- too poor to just go to shows and like... have them sign a sheet of paper or anything)#also can you tell i'm a spoiled little bitch? it's 9pm and i'm literally abt to cry over a fucking stupid thing someone didn't buy for me??#like it's literally not that important. i'm about to lose my house. there's shit i need to actually worry about#like idk killing myself so i don't go through the nightmare that is homelessness for a second time#but nah let's be sad about a fucking vinyl record we don't even have a player for#and a fuckin stupid hoodie that was like 50 bucks on the site#can't believe we're gonna be fuckin homeless again#twice between like 2022 and this year#so like... only two years apart#and none of my fucking friends want to talk to me anymore. one of em keeps fuckin blowing me off for some discord server full of kids who#keep fucking harassing her and bullying her and shit#and i'm just so fuckin tired.#i really am.#i don't think i can keep going honestly.
0 notes
Text
when people say "ok but x bug has no benefit to nature" I bet they can't even name 5 facts about the bug they're shitting on. so how could they Possibly know what its function is in the environment and if it's "useless" or not
wasps being the perfect example, I still get people saying "oh bees are cute and pollinate :) yay. but WASPS ARE EVIL and they don't contribute ANYTHING!!!" and it's like buddy. wasps pollinate too. they also control spider populations. they do a lot of great valuable things. but even if they didn't, they're still worthy of being here. I see SO much hatred toward wasps and I wish people would try to learn a little more about them.
I'm mainly talking about paper wasps here because these are common ones we run into in daily life and most commonly deemed "aggressive". but wasps have body language. and if you learn to read this language and learn how to properly act around them, things will go a lot better for you! wasps can be curious creatures and they may come up to observe you, especially if you're wearing something brightly colored. this can be startling for sure, but my best advice is to just be still, DO NOT SWAT or wave your arms. try to just back away or sidestep so it loses interest and leaves. swatting is just gonna make them feel as if they are being attacked and increase your chances of being stung.
many stings happen due to unfortunate but accidental circumstances. unknowingly getting too close to a nest, stepping on a wasp on accident, one getting stuck in clothing, etc. I got stung once while gardening, went to pull a weed and the wasp was on it, so I grabbed her without knowing and she stung me because she was scared. this doesn't mean "oh wasps are AGGRESSIVE and EVIL" it means you stumbled into an unfortunate situation where the wasps felt threatened and defensive. instead of being like "FUCK all wasps" go forward trying to learn about common nesting areas, be wary of holes in the ground, wear gloves while gardening, and if you do have to be around a nest, try not to make a lot of noise. if the nest absolutely needs removed, call a professional.
#michaelpost#bugs#insects#wasps#another bug rant post but this time i dont think people are ready to hear it#I see MORE hate lately toward wasps than I see toward spiders#and its very annoying bc wasps are an extremely diverse group of insects and have many functions and benefits#it sucks badly to see bees get adored but wasps get shit talked
9K notes
·
View notes