#I am no longer disgusted at all | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

verishere · 7 months ago

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You shipped Frans when you were younger

I never shipped any non-cannon ships ever which now that I think about it is kind of insane, though frans specifically I was always disgusted with (not for any good reason and I'm fine with other people shipping it now, but I really did not like shipping at all at the time, unless it was two OC's.)

Gotta remember though that I walked into the Undertale fandom at age 12, and that's the age I am basing this answer off of, so don't blame me to hard for not understanding shipping lol.

#I still don't ship non-cannon ships #I don't DISLIKE it when other people ship characters and will still view the art or fic or whatever it is unless its like. Fontcest.#but I don't ship any of em myself #which is probably born of me getting into fandom in general really #REALLY young #I got into it before I understood any kind of love and just kinda stuck with that I guess. I am no longer disgusted to the point I have to #click off if it's non-cannon but I still don't look for ships when I look for fics.#oc posts #asks #ask games #EDIT: Those prev tags kinda come off wrong when I reread them #I am no longer disgusted at all #those tags made it look like I still was just not quite so bad #but unless its a really bad one #*cough* fontcest *cough*#I will not be disgusted

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ducktracy · 7 months ago

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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

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i-am-l-ananas · 1 year ago

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just because your peers are reaching “life milestones” before you doesn’t mean you’re falling behind in life. You’re not behind in life. You’re not you’re not you’re not you’re not and maybe someday you’ll believe it

#one of those nights folks!#I know when and if a person reaches so called life milestones is arbitrary!!! But why am I so behind???#it’s just. more people I grew up with are getting married and having kids #I don’t even think I want kids!!#it’s just that it goes along with them having the relationships and stability to do so!!#and I’m envious of that!#and it’s pathetic that I still blame all the bullying I went through for my lack of relationships when I know it’s really my own fault #for not bettering myself and going out and meeting people and instead waiting for a future where I’m no longer disgusted with my body #ack sorry if you opened the tags only to be slapped in the face with vent #it be like this sometimes

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outlying-hyppocrate · 5 days ago

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i really, truly, terrifyingly am unaware of who i am as a person. obviously, interests don't make up an entire personality. but what am i without them? the labels i use to describe myself no longer fit me. i have these swathes of names in my head that i don't want to belong to me and they do nonetheless. i am rotting. i am dying on the inside. one day i will fit to my own ideals and i will be happy and healthy and see beautiful sunlight stream through my windows again.

#random thoughts #(probably being dramatic because i watched another review of those lacey flash games and those always scare the shit out of me.#stop that crispin your language is so cheap and disgusting!!)#conflicting labels and interests and terms to describe the amalgamation of personalities i refer to as mine.#i have no concept of time and it is making me sick to my stomach. i do not remember. so many things.#this is only recent. i have not gone outside in a while.#not properly at least. there was yesterday (or whenever tuesday was) but that was for. legalities.#i sit in my room and i lose track of time and i drink water and i rot and i rot and i rot.#hey what's all this talk about rotting i need to promote the album......... 60 streams in just four days wow!!#listeners in japan and new zealand and germany and all that. amazing.#spotify no longer has malice mizer on the podcast i used to listen to. but there's another one.#i need to talk about random things. i have so much to say.#i've been speaking every day but i need to extend my reach to more people. there is a chance i am very mentally ill and i can't even tell #any of you.#in more ways than one now ! ! ! ! !#the term “crazy person”. i really do feel like it.#and i can't tell if it's properly me or myself in a way that. is. i will not elaborate.#something something four years of speculation.#that's cured momentarily i had a human interaction. i think i need to write meaningless words now. (sorry.)#torturous cloth bleeding desperately for the shrines you see nothing is ever really anything when you look at it beyond the surface of seas #and pretty intricate little cobwebs dancing a tune and spelling out the number 50 which is insignificant and means nothing obviously you #know this now #but as a member of us do you isolate yourself place yourself on a pedestal ever i think we're really all just that purple-blooded syndicate #i got into the things you like so i could be a part of you and now you are a part of me altered in the back of my mind though here you see #he took his own face and name now so he is different in some respects #no i don't like this i can see his face peeling in the forefront of my mind perhaps it is something i ought to share to the world through #song #(okay i just needed to do this. fine now. this post is also scheduled. may or may not delete.)#the internet is really scary!!!!

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canni-killer · 11 months ago

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finish drawing. feel proud! see three pieces of art. i want to kill myself.

#ive been drawing for years why am i so bad #inconsistent also #bad AND inconsistent #anyways did anyone see the pic i drew haha its good right #who am i fucking kidding its awful #everything i make art writing knitting sewing etc its all terrible #no matter how much i practice i never improve #i cant write either my writing is terrible #and ive p much abandoned knitting #i occasionally sew holes in clothes but im bad at it #i have no fuckng skills #i should be good at this stuff its all stuff ive been doing sonce i was a fucking child #why is my baby cousin better at knitting than mr #why is my cousin so much better at art when were the same age and ive been drawing longer #i cant act either. or sing. i used to want to do musical theater but yknow #i cant bring myself to pick up my guitar cuz i know ill never be good at it. it frirates me to practice.#i played trombone for 2 ½ years and never got any better #i couldn't even read a single scale and my playing was quiet and bad #fuck #fuck fuck fuck #ill mever be good at anything #im a hack. talentless. unskilled. in every way possible.#can i find one fucking thing that im good at #“do it for yourself!” I CANT I FUCKING CANT if no one else likes it then its not good #and if its not good theres no point to it #becuz its just another way in which ive failed #i hate myself. im a disgusting failure #and im too cowardly to even kill myself #“im living for so and so :3” LIES LIES ITS ALL LIES IM ALIVE BECUZ IM A COWARD #everyone else will be fine without me. maybe happier even. i just cant do it cuz im fucking scared. another gd thing im a failure at.

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koko2unite · 2 years ago

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#feeling inadequate #is that a word #today #for some reason #i got shadowbanned again on twitter yasss #its so annoying #i havent posted anything that weird like ive seen worse #its just a fat guy no pp all that #seems like the less you got followers there the more easily twitter to shadowban you when people report you #its disgusting #i wanna restart so bad but i have tried that #and it didnt work out #the new account is still sitting there shadowbanned for months in 600 followers #i heard that you gotta reach 10k or 20k before shadowban no longer matters #but how am i supposed to reach it if everytime i post a new art i just got hit with one?#and its much worse on instagram #i have stuck in the number of followers for months #my post doesnt even reach non followers anymore #i fucking hate it #tumblr too #the only new followers i got are just sex bots sex bots sex bots #and it always happens when i post art #if i shitpost or post screencaps #none of this would happen #its so fucking discouraging #and my patreon too #6 people left and its because i was too focused on commissions #well how am i supposed to pay my bills if i dont take commissions?#my work is min wage my patreon doesnt even reach 100 like ofc i have to take comms #i just want art and pay bills why is this so hard

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mistyycowoa · 7 months ago

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I remember seeing a lot of people saying things like "oh people assume you're cishet before you come out because it's most common/seen as the default..." But I disagree. Cishet isn't the default in any way, even if common. My take of the day:

Aroace agender is the human default.

Everyone starts off as a baby. And babies are inherently aaa because. Obviously. Babies do not see bodies as anything (other than mother's milk which is food), it's not sexual. Babies do not want romance, only platonic love is enough. Babies don't understand gender stereotypes, and therefore everything is agender. It's just "thing", not "masculine thing" or "feminine thing".

As they grow up, kids of certain ages start understanding and putting weight on gender, giving them a gender identity/ideal. Their bodies look the same as their peers (purely body shape, ignoring hair and clothing etc), so they are the same, therefore there is no "two(or more) genders", and it's just "child".

Most children don't start feeling any kind of romantic attraction until a certain age (if ever). Sexual attraction comes much later too, when teens "discover themselves"(aka coming out as not ace) (if they're not ace).

All this to say, cishet is not default. Kis shouldn't have to "come out" as not cishet, because they shouldn't be assumed to be cishet in the first place. Adults shouldn't push their views onto kids who have yet to even understand these concepts, much less worry about it yet.

#long rant in tags :)#i am disgusted by people who see two little kids (3yrs old or something) sitting together and playing together and calling it “a date”. its #not. theyre children. they dont see it that way. its disgusting to push your adult views onto literal toddlers.#also i never even had gender dysphoria until puberty hit and i no longer looked like all the other kids but instead was split into looking #similar to 50% of the kids. (im agender and it bothered me that we didn't all look alike).#guys please. AAA isn't hard to understand. you once were one too. you literally were until you came out as whatever you are now.#homestly this might be a bad argument because people might start infantilizing aro/ace/agender people (if they havent already) but thats not #my point. AAA people's maturity are not hindered by just how they view their own gender/sexuality/romantic orientation #just like how “being childish” as an adult does not make you incapable of taking care of yourself like an adult. there are different #(shit what was i saying)#anyways all and all aaa people are people #and also aaa is the default not the exception #cishet is not default its just the most common.

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depresseddepot · 7 months ago

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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(

#im actually very upset abt this lol #all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk #and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao #so i guess i just. still can't go on walks #nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere #like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed #people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong #or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors #i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting #i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home #like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol #getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever #im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog #this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it #when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS #but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out #i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves #i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost #i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me #without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM #im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better #i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it #so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more #my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao #i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker #truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol

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incendiorum · 9 months ago

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I wish I could put you all in my head for like 5 minutes so you can absorb all of my thoughts and feelings on iovita's gender and then I could pull you back out and we could both nod and shake hands

#⌜❝ 𝚃𝙱𝙳. so long. good luck. goodbye. ❞ ⌟#I am only saying this because I have the WORST time articulating it and I LIKE to talk about it #but it's a (mostly) direct reflection of my own and my feelings on that involve a lot of wordless noises and vague gesturing #and informing you that certain things make me feel like a deep dark disgusting pit has opened in my chest blah blah blah #if you stay in there just a little longer I could show you the animations I make up in my head to certain songs?#and then we could nod and shake hands again etc etc #idk I just!#io................#io is.#that's it ig #they sway towards feminine descriptors for themself a lot because it's an 'opposite' to an outside perspective #[which is an opposite of how I do it. I like to pick masculine descriptors for myself for the same reason]#feminine descriptors and a masculine clothing style and full makeup makes the brain go brrr #and it's their default u know #but io will absolutely play it more feminine clothing/style wise sometimes in a way that still shows /something/ masculine about themself #the way they sit/stand/act/reveal #io plays with gender like it's sculpting clay #but they genuinely just #don't want to be anything #yknow?#me and io shaking hands about desiring just Not Existing. Actually. but still existing #not perception no body just The Person #RAHHHHH this is why I need to be able to put u all in my brain rq #anyway. had a gender crisis myself this evening. how are we doin #do i tag this #what do i tag this #ask to tag #?#i also think that io's relationship with gender is very human and also very inhuman together #because they at their core aren't really human. but the humanity of it. is important.

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pendragora · 1 year ago

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Might a girl live without any body horrors for just one fucking night

#le sigh #sometimes i really. really. REALLY want to shake my mother up. look her in the eyes and yell on top of my lungs #why? because she is the source of this... pesky and disgusting thought that i only ever am beautiful if i am tiny light and petite #which i am not. 1) i am 5'9 which doesnt sound like a lot but usually i am the tallest person in the room #2) i have been obsessively working out most of my life out of fear of growing big and this? this gave me a trained muscle #i feel big. i feel heavy. i cant change my diet because i am autistic. because there is barely anything to change after all that time.#i just want to. i just want to feel okay about the way i am. may i please for the love of gods at least see myself as normal. feel neutral #i am tired of weighting myself and having to talk myself out of the feeling of disgust when the digits get to 74 #i am tired of stressing over a single sentimeter above my usual 100-70-100-ish figure #i am so so SO tired of seeing myself as ugly or fat the moment i put on something comfy and big. the moment my clothes are not a second skin #for the love of gods. please. how long is this going to take? how much longer can i possibly work for body neutrality?#i dont even ask to ever be positive about the way i look. i just. i just want to not eant to cut parts of myself off in delusional hopes #how many more nights will i spend crying because of this #how long. HOW LONG #this is too much #lena exposed

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darkestrellar · 1 year ago

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What emotion are you?

DISGUST.

Your disgust is like a rot, a vile and toxic waste that festers and spreads, poisoning everything it touches. It is a feeling that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, a feeling that makes you cringe at the mere thought of it. It is like a disease that spreads, infecting everything in its path. Why do you feel repulsed at the sight of yourself? Is the weight of the world so much that you must push it away? I can see you swallow down your words - the scowl on your face is enough to know why.

Pinched it from @moonhund!!

#disgust is a very correct result for him although it's not typically himself he is disgusted at #the colour choice on this quiz text and bg made it so hard to read but oh well 😭 just heads up for anyone else who tries it #i am alive but i have not been checking my dash almost at all as i've been very tired and needed a break + focus elsewhere #will probably be a bit longer before i'm back around and get to normal-ish activity again but i hope everyone is doing well #point your finger and deny (dash games)

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fragglerockopinions · 2 years ago

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I'm in so much pain it's embarrassing. I'm going to look back on these memories of me writhing alone too afraid to sleep biting my knuckles crying about nothing and laugh.

#It's not nothing but it kind of breaks the rhythm and sound repetition to rephrase it as ptsd nightmares dunnit #Okay so the good thing is I am no longer emotionally constipated.#The bad thing is now I can cry and also I haven't felt joy and safety in forever 😐😐#You'd think work would distract me but no! Just sitting in barn staring at horses biting each other and thinking holy shit I'm depressed #I'm so broken that while I was crying last night I felt an urge to go to my parents' room and cry to them #Like holy shit what is wrong with me #No amount of possible comfort from my dad is worth the screaming and disgust from my mom #We had a 'talk' about my mental health aka me avoiding the subject entirely and them going yep you are fine and also you're disgusting #Shave your legs you're making everybody sick and that's why you have no friends #But I did bring up the possibility of me needing to see a psychiatrist #Because of you know the ptsd #But as always they were like 'you were at that school for three months cmon it couldn't have changed your life'#Woman. Sir. I was 12 my brain was still new and I was just gaining sentience #And as soon as I became my own person I get held to a chair and beaten up like in a fuckin gangster movie #Forced to get naked in a room with hateful little girls laughing at me for getting beat up #Who all think I'm a dangerous predator lesbian who's going to kidnap them despite being 12 and 4'8 and #those little girls talked about how they wish their hot stepbrothers would touch them #But I was the predator because I had short hair :(( ?????#It's always my fault for getting beaten up and my fault for people wanting me dead and being disgusted with my existence #I was beaten up because I was annoying I was s/a'd because I was ugly I was abandoned because I was and am repulsive #Man #Fuck the guy who said he would rescue me from this and didn't. I'm not just magically not being abused now that I don't talk to you anymore #In fact it's so much worse enduring abuse when you don't have any friends to talk with or escape to isn't it!!! That's weird huh!!!!!!

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djarinova · 2 months ago

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i wiiiiiiiiish i wasn't so fucked up actually

#i wish i was a better person lol #btw if i ever get drunk again it's over im done and im giving up #i dont like who i become when i get close to black out #and i do not enjoy being black out drunk #and i dont like that i get touchy with people.because i dont like physical touch sober so why the hell am i touching peoples hair when drunk #and i wish i hadnt fucking told her that i liked her fiancée #which apparently i did????? because that's just not fucking true #i dont like him in any way #and there sbeen a whole fucking fight over this 2 years ago #and to be clear #the incident that is being classed as 'liking' him was before him and her got together and we were 15 and talking over xbox #and i thought he voice sounded nice #so i created a whole fucking fantasy about meeting someone online and talking to my boyfriend over the phone. bec i was a lonely 15 yr old #who thought she'd never have love #so like #it was never about him #and if she has told him that i used to like him. well friend #that will be the end of this friendship fr and i will no longer be hanging out with the group #I feel so disgusted about this possibility bec if this ever became 'group lore' I'd probably kms #i was absolutely fucking wasted when i said something to her. and btw i don't fucking remember that conversation w her #i only know bec she told my boyfriend??#and btw i have also had the conversation w him about speaking to that guy over call and he knows it was not a thing at all #and she literally told my boyfriend in words that i used to 'like' her fiancee #which is. not fucking true!#and it's infuriating to think that she has spoken to her fiancee about this #i didnt even remember this shit until last year because it meant that little to me #anyways i wish i was dead or whatever #and my boyfriend also said it i get touchy (and btw i do not mean like. sexually touchy. just like touching peoples hair) again while drunk #then we're going on a break. and btw i feel like the bolter about this whole situation and i dont want to see them for nye #em talks

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aizenat · 4 months ago

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I would love to see one just ONE female artist get big and not get plastic surgery and/or lose a shit load of weight. Men (aside from Drake) don’t be doing that shit? So why do every single one of them do it?????

#when I say all of them I mean the black ones #cuz who cares about white celebs #i am utterly disgusted by black female artist’s inability to exist in peace without having to radically change their appearance #like why do they ALL have to fucking do it?#you have these pretty and bomb ass women all fuck themselves up with this shit!#like real talk I am literally like no longer sexually attracted to Megan thee stallion anymore with her current body #she looking like a Victoria secret angel which is pretty but those girls were always too skinny for me #like you supposed to be a country girl cornbread fed #bitch where?#can’t even sing body no more like what body girl you practically a skeleton now #I’m so annoyed it makes me think of lil Kim and how she look now #that’s what all these black female celebs gonna look in 10-15 years watch #literally won’t be able to recognize them

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feralsunflowerchild-deactivated · 6 months ago

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.

#i hate that he thinks he can just carry on and keep releasing music like nothing happened please please can’t he stay AWAY #and i hate that since my computer locked me out i have nowhere to illegal download it to listen to without giving him a cent #and i hate that THAT’S as much of a concern to me as it is; that i still want to listen to it so BADLY and can’t #and i hate that nocreature can talk about any feelings related to him with any nuance beyond either ‘’he should die’’ or disgusting wss cra #i understand i fully understand why we have to just ignore him as much as possible save for making it clear we know he’s terrible #and i’m glad people have been able to do that about this so well #but gosh dang does it get to feel isolating #like absolutely everycreature who’s a remotely decent person and understands the gravity and the grossness of what we’ve found out about hi #is able to just completely turn off and/or excise any positive feelings had about him or any missing him or still caring at all #heck a lot of people who’ve turned their backs entirely were in deeper than i’ve ever been for longer than i’ve ever been #so why am I like this #i hate this and i hope nocreature clicks the song or pays any attention #and i hope he’s otherwise forced to stay away again until he can actually get his head on straight be that a year from now or never at all #and can somecreature please get me a download or like an mp3 uploaded to tumblr or something #and can that please not be bad for me to ask

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kavehayati · 8 months ago

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Wow that was a very good session of haterism this is why I love this account 😻🤞✨

^^ also me cause I’d go right back to her wahoo

#I still hate her but <333 I feel a bit better #better enough to reply back to her but I’ll leave her be #oh one thing I forgot to mention is that she ALWAYS wants what’s mine #btw I don’t even have that much !!!! “I wish I could be stressed at all”#bitch I can’t stop shaking and nothing is sticking in my brain #“at least you could wake up early” BITCH. waking up early is hardly a flex when I wake up at fucking five am and study from day to night #STRAIGHT with NO BREAKS !!!!!#it’s hardly a good thing when I cannot comprehend a word #because I’m so stressed that I legitimately developed insomnia #you piece of shit I hope you get every bad thing that you’ve caused for me all the hassad the jealousy you disgusting human being and I wis #it multiplies a thousand fold for you #so that you don’t need to look down on me any longer like you look down on me AND dahlia #you’re so cruel #I wonder how any of your friends like you #and it’s pathetic that the only way anybody knows me is that I’m fatemas friend #I HATE YOU !!!! I don’t want to be tied to you for the rest of my life #why the fuck do you think I went insane after I found out the only reason Eris liked me was because I reminded her of someone else #THIS is why I feel like I’m a fucking nobody because I’m never ever myself I’m always someone else #how is that fair exactly huh #?!?!)!:$8392/@102@:&:9292/&/&29 #dora daily #such a jealous piece of trash she should’ve begged more to be my friend and I should’ve laughed at her face #these are not the only things she’s done #she was neutral and blamed me at times when a girl was bullying me and getting everyone to gang up on me #now she says it’s not my fault #after what hmmm ? after I went clinically insane ? after the panicking after loosing my family support after everyone hating me #when I say life is unfair I don’t mean generically #I mean quite literally life is more unfair to myself than most people #because I know it’s unfair but according to my analysis of others’ lives most cannot dream to compare to the shit this bitch put me through #for most of my developmental years

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