#i feel big. i feel heavy. i cant change my diet because i am autistic. because there is barely anything to change after all that time.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Women make up for the other 50% of Tumblr’s audience.
Text
Might a girl live without any body horrors for just one fucking night
#le sigh#sometimes i really. really. REALLY want to shake my mother up. look her in the eyes and yell on top of my lungs#why? because she is the source of this... pesky and disgusting thought that i only ever am beautiful if i am tiny light and petite#which i am not. 1) i am 5'9 which doesnt sound like a lot but usually i am the tallest person in the room#2) i have been obsessively working out most of my life out of fear of growing big and this? this gave me a trained muscle#i feel big. i feel heavy. i cant change my diet because i am autistic. because there is barely anything to change after all that time.#i just want to. i just want to feel okay about the way i am. may i please for the love of gods at least see myself as normal. feel neutral#i am tired of weighting myself and having to talk myself out of the feeling of disgust when the digits get to 74#i am tired of stressing over a single sentimeter above my usual 100-70-100-ish figure#i am so so SO tired of seeing myself as ugly or fat the moment i put on something comfy and big. the moment my clothes are not a second skin#for the love of gods. please. how long is this going to take? how much longer can i possibly work for body neutrality?#i dont even ask to ever be positive about the way i look. i just. i just want to not eant to cut parts of myself off in delusional hopes#how many more nights will i spend crying because of this#how long. HOW LONG#this is too much#lena exposed
6 notes
·
View notes