#I am extremely mentally unwell when it comes to him. I know this

[hetalia-club]

HWS Italy is not hot.

Oh yeah? What about this?

I rest my case plebian

This man IS the embodiment of sex

[wonijinjin]

in sickness and in health

author’s note: please take care of yourselves everyone! being sick is not fun. dedicating this to my dear @babyleostuff <3

synopsis: when you get food poisoning cheol is ready to sacrifice his night to take care of you.

word count: 1.0k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairing: cheol x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of throwing up, being sick, fever, exhaustion, bad mental health

it was around 12am when you realised something was wrong; you never really got sick, but you could feel it coming before it even happened; head pounding and shivers crawling up and down your spine, making you anxious. after a bit of panicking about why you felt this bad you calmed yourself down and went back to scrolling through social media on your phone, scared of waking and troubling the man next to you. seungcheol was already asleep by that time, being extremely tired from working since 3am, having been to several music show recordings and dance practices. you found him so peaceful as he slept and you were so glad to see him rest after many days of hard work. however as the minutes went by while looking at your phone you could sense an increasing nauseating feeling in your stomach, not being able to focus on the blogpost you were reading anymore, being too occupied with trying to make it stop and squirming under the blankets of your cozy king sized bed to make it more bearable. as if on cue to the peak of your struggles cheol stirred in his sleep next to your helpessly thrashing form, turning to you, his sleepy frame trying to process the cause of your distress. “what’s wrong, my love?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. “don’t worry, nothing. go back to sleep.” you tried to sound as convincing as you could. he didn’t buy it. “love, i know something is up. tell me, please?” he begged, more alert when he saw how your protests were interrupted by a weak sob. “i think i am gonna throw up cheol.” you mumbled with a terrified look on your face, trying to stay perfectly still so your upset stomach could get some relief. seungcheol first thought that you were trying to pull a prank on him since you never got sick, but when he looked at your features closer he realised how pale you looked, and how sweat was glistening on your skin. “you sure? like right now?” he sat up in no time as the question left his mouth, ready to take you to the bathroom to let out whatever was making you feel so miserable. you didn’t have time to answer him whatsoever as you bolted towards the mentioned room, getting to the toilet just in time for the agonising pain and suffering of the next few hours to begin. in your hurry you had a hopeless attempt to lock the door in order to shut cheol out; you hated if he saw you in any other state than your most perfect one, if he saw your imperfections, how you felt unwell sometimes or how you struggled with life from time to time. he always scolded you for thinking this way, but you couldn’t stop it; you wanted to be his strong partner, someone who he could rely on whenever he needed to. “i am coming in.” you heard him say and suddenly you felt a warm hand on your back and another one taking your hair out of your sweaty face, snapping you out of your feverish daze. “i am here, you are okay, love. breathe for me please. that’s it, good. let it all out. don’t worry i am here.” you could hear cheol’s voice through your eardums, blood pumping in your veins with much more speed than ever. seungcheol held you close to him as you spat in the bowl one last time, making sure you were really done before placing you on his lap, your knees no longer hitting the cold tiles of the bathroom, only feeling his warmth surrounding you. “my poor baby.” his voice was low and hurt while he kissed your forehead, frowning upon sensing how your skin burned under his touch. “you are burning up. you definitely have a fever my dear.“ he announced, but you could barely register his voice and words; you were utterly drained, barely able to keep your head up straight.

cheol of course took note of this, gently guiding you to lean into him even more while he got comfortable on the floor, cradling you into his chest. “i know you don’t feel good my love. do you know how did this happen?” he wondered with concern laced in his words. you slightly shifted in his arms, looking up at him. “i think i might have food poisoning, cheol.” he cooed at you, kissing the top of your head, rocking you from side to side as you whimpered in pain. “it’s okay love. it will be over soon i promise.” he chanted softly in an attempt to calm you down as exhaustion took over you, the high temperature making you shake with chills no matter how close seungcheol kept your body to his. “love, you with me?” he questioned after a few minutes of silence, but didn’t get a reply; you fell asleep fast, totally knocked out from the sudden wave of late night sickness. he was relieved to see that your immune system was trying to get that much needed sleep to heal, although he was concerned about the effects of not taking medication before your slumber; he didn’t have the heart to wake you so he let you rest anyways.

he never stopped holding you through the night, not even when he moved you to the bedroom and got a cold towel to put on your head, moving a trash can beside your bed just in case, or when he stayed up all night to watch over your distressed form, wishing that you would get better by the morning, kissing your cheek from time to time to let you know that he was there, that he was gonna take care of you no matter what.

[the-apocalypse-is-upon-us]

Okay, I think Im getting what you're saying. Thanks for assuming good faith in my ask. That sentence about Nagito being very very obsessed with the Ultimates. I think that's another case of people relying on their old memories of danganronpa (if they even played the game) + fandom mesh + fandom characterization. It bugs me too when people treat their vision of the characters like the "real" one, the only one, and especially- like you said- if they cant be bothered to research what theyre talking about.

Yeah, lool! And, don't worry, i understand which sentence you mean! Still seeing that characterisation prevail even today, even amongst so called 'fans' of him, is pretty frustrating and one of the main reasons of me making that post. I think Nagito mostly suffers from pathologisation, meaning the fans see his extreme beliefs and the fact that he is definitely supposed to be some flavour of neurodivergent/ mentally ill and they make it all about how "it's soo sad how poor Nagito has only those beliefs to give meaning in his life 🥺" completely ignoring that 1. No, he doesn't, 2. Believing that literally takes his agency away, making so all his perceived 'flaws' are just him being 'brainwashed' towards the system (all the characters are, he just lays his beliefs more openly than others in a way that could be taken as 'unerving') and 3. He wasn't created in a vacuum, and i think in some cases it's helpful to examine the creator's own biases when it comes to their works, especially when it's about a marginalised identity (people with mental/neurological disorders) he has misrepresented before, e.g. Toko and Syo as an example of D.I.D. I also think that a lot of it has to do with the fandom desperately trying to fit Nagito within an established 'archetype', whether they like him or dislike him, which is an imoossible task considering his complexity in almost all his aspects, but usually within his 'fans' the archetype i see most of is 'poor, mentally unwell baby who doesn't know what's best for himself other than manipulating others, and needs big alpha Hajime to protect him and coddle him 🥺' which is... Not only an insulting fucking take but I literally can't see where the poor, inferiority complex Nagito is coming from other than like...ableism, like at this point they havent played the game lol. Anyway, I'm glad i could clear things up, and if you want to continue talking about certain character takes and whatnot, feel free to keep sending asks or even dm me! I am always happy to have a convo about these things! :⁠^⁠)

[inamindfarfaraway]

I just finished watching a playthrough of Shadow Generations and I am mentally unwell. A few thoughts:

SHE’LL ALWAYS BE IN HIS HEART

His SMILE! His real actual smile with soft eyes! For her!

He also didn’t know it was her when he first ran in to save her, he just heard a random child in trouble and immediately dropped his urgent mission to protect them! Because he’s a hero!

“I’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine.” He lets himself hope… after everything, he thinks he finally has a second chance. Shadow, aways the pessimist, has no fear of paradoxes or breaking the timeline or anything bad coming from altering the past. He doesn’t dismiss it as impossible. He just believes. And with the context of Dark Beginnings, those imaginary flashes of him and Maria in a field of flowers, this is literally his dream come true. “I pretend that’ll see you again, and that I’ll save you from all the things I failed to.” IT HURTS

Shadow, Omega, Rogue and Sonic are all friends who love each other and enjoy each other’s company! Shadow was having so much fun challenging Sonic and respects him too much to play dirty with his ridiculously overpowered new tricks.

He did the fake Chaos Emerald con in reverse! Rogue has been rubbing off on him.

Black Doom and the new powers he gives Shadow were seriously unsettling. The way this teenage boy clutches his head and screams in agony as tendrils of darkness and viscera grab him, drown him, rip out of him… I did not like that. Hasn’t he suffered enough? It does look cool, though.

So that was an extremely cathartic final boss fight. It’s nicely ironic that Black Doom keeps saying that Shadow was “made for” destruction when we all know that he was made to heal and save lives, and he calls Shadow’s resistance “meaningless” while Shadow’s awesome theme song playing underneath goes “You’ve found the meaning that you searched for so long”. The army saw him as a weapon and his creator used him as a weapon and now his other creator is trying to do the same, but he’s not! He never was and never will be!

Speaking of boss fights, I wasn’t expecting to have any feelings about Mephiles, of all characters. But damn. A one-dimensional, pure evil villain reduced to a terrified tragedy desperate to matter and simply survive. “I want… to exist!”

I’m not over the fact that SHADOW SHOWS YOU WHERE TO FIND THE LIGHT. SHADOW SHOWS YOU WHERE THE LIGHT IS. A terminally ill child gave her new family and only hope that name for that reason. I. I’m crying.

And so is he at the end! They finally let him cry, even if we only saw one tear. Still! Emotional vulnerability for the win!

He could have frozen them in time and kept them alive… but he chose to move on. To save everyone else, to maintain his relationships and the life he’d built for himself in the present, to look forward to the future. To do what they’d want him to. I’m so proud of him. I’m so happy. My heart has been shattered.

[holodeck-enthusiast]

The Night After

...

*after the episode "All Our Yesterdays"*

...

That night, for obvious reasons, Bones found it hard to sleep. Only 3 earth hours left to the beginning of the alpha shift. Bones had already taken a dose of melatonin and it's not working. He refused to fight the thoughts, and was thinking about that another extreme stressful day three of them have had. He embraced the physical and mental pain, something he's actually very good at.

...

Comm chimed, breaking the monotonous humming of the ship's environmental sound.

"Doctor, please accept my apologies for contacting you at this hour. I assume that you were asleep...and this not an emergency...I just.."

Bones noticed the prominent hesitation in Spock's voice. He almost never hesitates. What's got into him again?

"What is it Spock? You feeling unwell?"

"May I come your cabin, Doctor? I need to say something to you and it shouldn't take long"

Bones smiles. "Literally anytime you wish, Spock, you poi.."

He stopped and closed his eyes.

"Yes, of course!".

...

Bones sat up on his bed and commanded the room computer to put on a light. His room is next to Spock's. It took around 45 seconds till Spock came in.

"What is it Spock"

Spock came closer to Bones's bed. Took a small pause before standing straight with his arms behind.

"Doctor, I came here to formally apologise to you for my behaviours in the cave yesterday."

.

Bones let out a sigh of relief. He was genuinely concerned of it's a healthy emergency; Spock's assurance usually means nothing when his own health is concerned.

"You were clearly affected Spock! You weren't yourself"- Bones smiled.

"You were severaly unwell" Spock continued "I used extreme physical force TWICE, especially when, in reality, you were helping me..."

Bones definitely hadn't needed this apology, but he realised Spock needed to let it out. He didn't interrupt.

"... Although my psyche went back in time, which apparently I had no control over, I should have known best to adapt to the situation. I am ashamed that I failed to do that, and I thank you for taking the responsibility."

"Thank you, Spock. But then you should also recall that it is probably because of you I am alive right now..."

Spock maintained eye contact in silence.

"...see, Spock...it is not news to both of us that these strange new worlds always do strange new things to our minds. That's the part of it. I was never eager to join this mission and now I'm in it for this long..my life is here!.."

Bones stopped for a moment and stood up from his bed. He walked to Spock and stood face to face.

"Plus I do think I deserved a slap back there!" He laughed. "I always call you names. Never realised it could've affected you that much. This human characteristic is very, you know, common among friends. I forget the fact that you do not realise how close and unhinged I feel around Jim and you."

"You always are unhinged around everybody, doctor" Spock let out a microscopic smile.

Bones laughed finally. "Go to your bed, you..." Again he closed his mouth. He'd need to practice for god's sake!

"..pointy-eared Vulcan?... probably I do not like it because that's actually incorrect."

Bones went back to his bed tiredly. "How come?"

"Firstly, to my great sorrow, I am only a half-vulcan; secondly and most importantly, my ears have prominent curvatures here, it's not technically a 'point'."

Bones yelled "Dammit Spock! Just go to you cabin and let me die in peace for...what...2 and a half hours!"

"Good night, doctor.' Spock let out another microscopic smile and left the cabin.

...

Both of them slept like babies afterwards.

.

.

.

.

.

[junipers-hellspace]

I Need Help .

Hi Tumblr. I feel pathetic for reaching out here but I have no where else to go. My name is June. I'm a 15 year old mentally unwell teen girl who is in an abusive relationship and I need help getting out of it.

My girlfriend and I have only been together for a few months. We've known each other for a little over a year now. We are both mentally ill and we both have shitty home lives. I'm recovering from a self harm addiction and anorexia. I've stayed with my girlfriend for as long as I have with hope that she would get better but she hasn't - she is actively getting worse and harming me and every one around her. I'm telling you all this so you have a backstory.

Anytime I do something that upsets my girlfriend, she threatens suicide. She will say she wants to/is going to overdose or simply kill herself and keep me up for hours trying to talk her down and then stop responding. In the morning she tells me she stopped responding because she fell asleep and didn't warn me. Every night she does this I have horrible panic attacks because when she stops responding I'm left to think she went through with it and killed herself. She does this every time I have to talk her down, which is at least once a week - normally more. This is extremely detrimental to my mental health. The thought that my girlfriend killed herself and I couldn't convince her not to is horrible, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

She's also extremely obsessive and possessive. At first, I didn't see this as a problem because I am also that way. I was also extremely obsessive towards her and toxic in that way. I admit I was wrong for that and I was toxic. But she took it further than I ever have or ever would. I recently got back in contact with an ex of mine because he reached out to me. I never intended to replace my girlfriend with him or even get back into a relationship with him. When I told her I was talking to him again she said I was going to replace her and started talking about wanting to kill herself because of this. She got into a verbal, screaming fight with her father because he wouldn't let her come to my house. She told me she planned on physically fighting him that night if he didn't let her come over and that she would stab him. She has put me above her friends and has started ignoring her friends and getting mad at them for trying to be with her and not letting her be with me every moment she can. She has damaged her relationship with her father, her mother, and her friends because of me.

She talks about wanting to kill or injure people a lot, to the point where it's not just intrusive thoughts, it's something she wants to do and as she has stated, is willing to do. She has talked about being a sadist and wanting to hurt/hit me before. And she does. She does hurt me. She bites me to the point of leaving deep marks that last days, she twists my wrists and arms until they almost break, and she never stops. I've cried and begged her to stop hurting me before and she smiled at me and didn't stop. She has a history with hitting people and being physically abusive towards her friends and family. She has told me this herself. When she gets upset, she hits things. I don't want to be one of those things.

As I stated earlier, I'm in recovery for a self harm addiction and for anorexia. My girlfriend says she supports me and will help me recover, but she doesn't. When we hug she feels the need to tell me she can still feel my rib bones so I haven't gained as much weight as I think I have - but the thing is, with recovery, the way your body looks and how much you weigh doesn't matter. You are supposed to heal your relationship with food and yes of course get to a healthy weight. I don't know if she knows how triggering what she says is because she says it a lot. She always mentions how I am still bony and it's triggering She also encouraged me to relapse and cut myself again just so I could make her a vial of my blood. She wanted me to cut myself and ruin my progress and mental health and risk getting sent back to a psych ward just so she can have a vial of my blood.

I'm scared to break up with her because if I do I know she will try to kill herself. And if she succeeds, her blood will be on my hands. I will be the one who caused it. And if she doesn't succeed, I'm scared she will come to my house and hurt me. I'm scared she will hit me or kill me. I don't know what to do. I can't tell her parents and I can't tell my own because that would be unsafe and I would be put in more danger.

That's why I'm coming here. I need help. Any help. I need advice. What do I do. If you get this on your feed and you read this far, please reblog. It could save my life. Thank you

[infinitelyelvish]

I found a Notes file from my descent into emotional turmoil as I watched the last four episodes of The Clone Wars. Enjoy

But why is the logo red. It's supposed to be yellow 😰

Ashoka's talking to Anakin for the first time since walking away 😭

Anakin's having a whole mental break down over seeing her again.

The graphics this season and episode are amazing. The best visuals for the worst to come.

They're all back together 😭😭

R2 is so excited to see her, poor little guy.

Not Bo Katan pulling the Satine card on Obi-Wan.

The whole 501st standing to attention for Ashoka with her colors and markings on their helmets. Is this the last time they're all not affected by the chips?!

HER LIGHTSABERS?! Is Anakin about to give her her lightsabers?!?!

Commander Rex. He deserved that being more than an on the flu decision.

He did give her her lightsabers back 😭

"I took care of them, they're good as new. Maybe a little better" 😭

"Anakin. Good luck." Is that the last time? I'm so nauseous with the impending last time he'll be Anakin and his first time he'll become Vader to her.

I cannot get over how good the animation is. This is so unfair. They need to go back and redo the entire series.

Rex and Ashoka having moments before battle together. I'm unwell. 

Badass landing!!! Let's go!

"Beat you." I swear if Rex dies or becomes a soulless drone😭

the lack of music during the opening sequence and credits is foreboding.

I wonder if the moment may be upon us.

I’m going to be sick

Dooku is dead. It’s coming.

Tell Anakin. Did he? Did he??? 

I keep having tears well up. I’m unprepared. 18 years and I’m unprepared.

They have Jesse. 

At this point is it a mercy of the clone dies before order 66? That way they still have their own faculties?

If anyone had asked me during season one if I thought I’d become attached to the clones the answer was a resounding no. But now I just want to gather them all to me and hide them like they’re all little ducklings who need protecting. 

Why did Maul want Obi-Wan /and/ Anakin?

What was the dream?!

Maul trying to team up with Ahsoka was extremely unexpected!

She’s going to help him?!

He is the key to everything. To destroy.

She knows. She knows. She knows.

I know Anakin. 😭

It’s looks so real it’s feels like live action

She’s become so strong.

We’re all going to die. You don’t know what they’re doing.

Why is it that the site are telling the truth and no one was ever listening to hear it?

2nd to last episode. This is it. I’m already crying.

I wish I was good at something other than war.

Mace Windu over here pissing me off. Ahsoka knows more!!! Get off your high horse and listen to her!!! 

I’ll tell him myself when I see him. 

Rex is a real one  for not sharing what Ahsoka didn’t with the council.

Saying deserved to see her planet be free.

What ever happened to Korkie??? Did he die and I don’t remember it happening?

Is this box actually force user proof?

Rex and Ahsoka traveling through space, one last time.

She’s saluting him.

Is that the last time? Did I just lose Rex as I’ve known him?

It’s happening. 

He’s trying to fight it

He’s gone. He’s sending them to find her.

The droids are so upset, their people aren’t acting right.

Fives!!! She’s looking up what Fives found, FINALLY!!! 

Stupid Kaminoans. Rex told Padme 🥲

Is it now that the troopers have lost their ability to aim?

Tazing Rex, gotta love droids.

Is she going to be able to save him? Can she save him after the order has been given?

It’s not there 😭

“I am one with the force and the force is with me.”

They found jt!!!

He’s back!

Oh my god he’s back.

He’s the only one. How many can she save? Can she save more?

Last episode.

Not the monk singing 

Victory and death.

What victory 😭

They’re only stunning. I love my 501st commanders.

The clones are starting to appear in their white uniforms.

Why is Maul destroying the hyper drive? Now they’re just sitting ducks.

If they weren’t trying to kill us I’d be proud. 

What moon are they by? 

There’s no way. There’s no way they’re getting to a shuttle.

There are too many. Besides I don’t want to hurt them.

Loyal Ahsoka.

Rex is crying!!! I can’t. Please. I can’t. 

I love her so much.

They may be willing to die,  but I’m not willing to kill them.

I love these droids so much.

Mail was an interesting villain but if he’s going to steal this shuttle without Ahsoka and Rex on it then I hope he gets forced choked out.

That was a cool move with the force and double lightsabers.

Not the droids popcorning the clones.the droids!!!!

They’re all gone. The entire 501st. 

It’s just Rex now.

They buried them all of them. Their helmets 😭😭😭

She left her lightsaber. I guess they’re not the same since Anakin was the one to return them.

Who are these droids? Why are they in their Hoth gear? 

Vader.

He found the wreck.

When is this?

He found her lightsaber. Oh my god he knows she’s alive.

Does she know Obi-wan and yoga are still alive??? Does she know that Padme died? Does she know about the twins? I have questions!

[druidgroves]

ok here it is my whisper/deacon brain rot for their web weaving is under the cut. i'm mentally unwell about them.

1. trust no one

this one is pretty obvious. it's deacon's first and favorite lesson. little does he know that after coming out of vault 111, it was greta's modus operandi as well.

2. vulnerability is the last thing i want you to see in me, but the first thing i look for in you.

this quote was more deacon-focused, but it does apply to both of them. upon "first" meeting (that was face to face), deacon is still looking for any signs of cracking in whatever façade greta has created for herself by this point. he wants to pick people apart, but makes sure that no one can do the same to him. for greta, she isn't too great at emotions after being thawed out (she became a lot more withdrawn in that department, despite pretending to be an open book). she'll make sure she can pinpoint your vulnerabilities before you're even aware of them, just so you don't notice her own.

3. i don't understand your specific kind of crazy but i do admire your total dedication to it

this is peak whisper/deacon while doing shit for the railroad. they work together extremely well, in part due to whisper's career as a spy before the bombs (of which deacon has no idea about but he has Suspicions). a big part of their relationship is trying to outdo the other, constant one-upmanship; who can tell the most outlandish lies, put on the most well-crafted personas, or pull off the wildest stunt while clearing the way for safehouses. they are both insane.

4. i want to take a bite out of you, figure out what you're thinking

while working together, they obviously get to know each other--or they get to know as much of each other as they are willing to show. it's both fun and frustrating for them with neither wanting to fully give.

5. our eyes had the most devilish affair; meeting in secrecy in a room full of people.

these two dance around their feelings like they're legally obligated to, but they'll just say that neither of them have done anything about it because of "anti-fraternization" rules put in place by their fearless leader.

6. the nonsense has escalated

this was there purely because their nonsense (feelings) escalates. that's it.

7. the great pretender

i always see this as a deacon song But it fits both of them. they are both extremely lonely people in similar and different ways and put on different masks to compensate.

8. not because i don't trust you, but because i can't bare for you to see me as i really am.

another one showing how much they share and how much they don't. at this point in their story, greta has come clean about a lot of stuff: her real name, her career as a spy, looking for a son she isn't even sure she wants to find, as well as her familial connections to the calverts (who i argue could be partially to blame for the way the war went tbh). she has always lived with a lot of self-loathing and that's part of why she is the way she is, putting on different personas to hide the fact that she hates who she is. for deacon, this is when he tells her about the up deathclaws, about barbara, and about joining the railroad. they finally get to see the other's vulnerabilities.

9. sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them.

in trying to understand each other, seeing each other's ugliest parts, they find that they might never understand each other completely. it doesn't quite drive a wedge between them as much as things are a little awkward between two people allergic to talking about their emotions.

10. how to disappear completely and never be found

so deacon talks about wanting to "bug out" and leave sometimes, but in this case, greta is the one who bounces after destroying the institute. she's got a lot to deal with internally and needs her space to process.

11. an exercise in love: i have left the door unlocked, just in case

deacon won't admit it, but he's always on the lookout for her after she disappears. he listens for her laugh, the sound of deliverer, anything, but she doesn't show for a while. but if he knows anything about his whisper, she'll come back again, and he'll be there waiting.

[kakusboyfriend]

If your in the mood to write any Psimon headcanons do you mind doing a cuddle/comfort request? I feel like if anyone needs a hug is him.

Love of my life I am so here for writing fluff with him. He's so cute I want to eat him

Oh by the way I'm wicked evil, so I wrote down some reasons Why he would need comfort. I love my guys but I also love to torment them - sooooo it ended up being a bit more about That because I have a lot of thoughts about it. Sorry! Hope it's still fun to read regardless

• it's hard for me to find a villain that wouldn't be extremely stubborn to ask for help, whether it's because everyone already thinks they're weak or because they can't let the tough guy facade break for the sake of their reputation. Psimon is the former, definitely - everyone Knows he's as frail as a soggy sheet of paper, so he's not one to do anything to make himself seem even weaker.

• he's reluctant to ask for help, even if you're intimate. Unless he has a special relationship with someone, he doesn't let himself seem vulnerable around anyone. To be fair, it's not like he's surrounded by people that would jump to his aid should he need it, so it's not like he's missing out on much.

• he used to be better at holding himself together and taking care of himself. However, after the Miss Martian situation, he gets dizzy spells and migraines far more often, and straight up cannot work on bad days. Those are the days he needs comfort the most, no matter how stubborn he is to accept it at first.

• a funny idea to work with when it comes to psychics being sick is losing control of their powers and unintentionally making people feel sick with them. If the whole team is feeling nauseous out of nowhere, you really should check on Psimon before assuming it's a bug - he tends to do that when he's not well, and it's for the better that he leaves early. For everyone's sake.

• it depends on what's actually wrong with him, but usually he'll voice his concerns telepathically instead of speaking. I'm projecting, but forming words can be Taxing, and communicating in that manner is more private, anyways. Unless a bad headache is what's bothering him, then he'll do it verbally.

• if things are Bad bad, he's pratically nonverbal for most of the day, vocally and mentally. It just feels like a huge chore, and he gets by alright without speaking. He's very sensitive to light so he won't be typing either. You'll find a way to communicate eventually.

• to go with my last post, Psimon is very touchy feely when he's unwell. In public, he'll seek your touch almost constantly - not only is it comforting, but it helps him feel grounded instead of dissociating into the nether about it. In private or at home, he gets almost whiny for your touch - something he doesn't give himself the luxury to when with others. It's pathetic and sad, and you really do feel like giving him the world when he's that bad.

• however, if you give in, he'll wrap himself around you and not let go for hours. You're trapped like this, his face buried in your chest so he still has some grip on reality, hugging you as tight as he can. Well, Psimon isn't the strongest guy out there, so you Could leave if you really wanted to - but it's like a cat, really. You wouldn't dare wake him up, would you?

• like I said, he's got mad photosensitivity when he's unwell, so all he wants is to lay around in the dark with you instead of having the TV on. Instead, he'd much rather hear you talk about your day, or your interests, or just anything you want to - he loves the sound of your voice and how it rumbles in your chest when he's pressed against you.

• ok sickness aside, I do think Psimon would love to give and receive tight hugs that go on for a bit too long. He just melts into you, and if you pay attention you'll hear a little discontent noise when you eventually break contact. If it were up to him, you'd stay like that all day.

• dear god he needs reassurance nowadays. Like, once again you don't get a lot of that in villain teams. It may not be as punishing of a workplace as others, but it's certainly not a warm one either. His sequelae are a cause of deep seated insecurity for him, because of how easy it is to write them off as a flaw of character or lack of effort to recover. Not only that, but it's a constant reminder that he's not as powerful as he thought he was.

• we all know it doesn't matter to either of us, but to someone who used to take pride in his abilities, it's hard to admit things have changed. If he seems distant or cold, it's usually a sign you should reach out and try talking to him a bit about the issue. He may avoid your questions at first, but, bit by bit, he'll trust you enough to vent about the matter.

• it really is a patience game, and he's not easy to approach, but it's worth it. He's a gentle and sensitive guy when you're not his opponent, he just doesn't have the opportunity to demonstrate it until you're a bit closer.

[bone-marreaux]

I’ll add to this.

My grandmother is a devout Christian. Growing up I heard her talking about queer people going to hell. I heard her talk about how trans people were mentally unwell and needed to be institutionalized. I feared coming out to her and my grandfather very much. I love my grandmother despite her beliefs and she had always been on my side in everything else.

She was the first person to notice I was secretly dating a girl in high school. When I was forced out of the closet by my mother and she told my grandmother that I was gay, my grandmother said “no shit” and changed her tune very quickly. She doesn’t understand it, she still believes in the faith that calls gay people sinners. But she didn’t care, she loved me and accepted me and my girlfriend immediately.

She sat me down one day and thanked me for coming out. I was confused at first. She said “thank you for coming out as LGBTQ. I realized before that I was closed minded and awful. I’d never met an openly gay person and so I thought they were not good because that’s how I was raised. But then you, my beloved grandchild, came out and I realized that gay people were just like me, in exception that they just happen to love someone of the same sex. I see how much you love her and it’s no different than any other love. Because you came out I started questioning other beliefs I held. I opened my mind. I became a better person. A became a person that was accepting and kind, which I now realize is the type of person that Jesus would want me to be. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.”

Despite this beautiful statement, I was still terrified to come out as transgender. I knew I was male aligned but I couldn’t bear losing her support. Gay, bi, etc, that’s a lot easier for most to understand than gender non conformity.

Two years later I mustered up the courage to publicly come out. I changed my name. The next time I saw her she greeted me as my new name. No fuss. No questions. Nothing. I was not dead name to her anymore, I was my new name. I nearly cried. I overheard her on the phone a few hours later. She didn’t know I could hear her. She accidentally deadnamed me but halfway through the word corrected herself. She wasn’t just doing it in front of me. She was making an active change in every part of her life.

Other relatives were not so kind. My grandmother would get into actual fights with them over it. They would dead name me and she would hiss my preferred name at them with a glare that could send anyone running with their tail between their legs. My grandmother is not a weak and frail Alzheimer’s ridden woman. She is strong and capable and sharp. She will happily throw down with anyone who threatens her grandchildren’s happiness and has done so before. When my aunt stayed in her house with her kids and boyfriend, my grandmother caught the boyfriend physically abusing one of the kids and she reamed his ass so hard and threatened to kill him if he laid a hand on the kid again. She is no mama bear, she is a mama dragon. Fierce and strong and capable.

My grandfather is extremely transphobic. Him and I have gotten into loud verbal arguments over it while my grandmother slept because he knew if she heard him, she would destroy him on the spot. I am living in their house currently and he has threatened to kick me out if I don’t “go back to normal” and upon threatening to tell my grandmother what he said, he retreated. Because he knows for a fact she would kick him out for treating me that way before she kicked me out for being happy and living as my true self.

My grandmother texted me out of the blue last year around this time. It was only a few months after coming out publicly. She loves the holidays and has custom embroidered stockings for everyone in the family. She told me to pick the color I wanted for my new stocking. I was confused. She said “you’re [preferred name] now. You need a new stocking.” I nearly cried and told her the color and design I wanted and she made it. I hate the holidays but seeing my true name on a stocking beside everyone else’s on the mantle reminded me I belonged and was loved. The rest of the family has come around. Even my grandfather has at least shut up about it as long as he doesn’t drink.

I went out to eat with my grandmother one afternoon, just the two of us. The server was clearly gender non conforming so I asked their pronouns. “They/them” they said shyly, the excitement of being gendered correctly clear on their face despite trying to hide it. When they walked away, my grandmother looked at me and said “you can do that? Ask someone their pronouns?” And I said yes, it’s very respectful and polite to do so if you’re not sure. I got to explain how good it feels to be gendered correctly. I don’t think she fully understood but that didn’t matter. She almost used the wrong pronoun for the server but corrected herself, albeit awkwardly. They/them pronouns were a little baffling to her, but her effort was noticed by the server and their eyes sparkled when she did it. She tipped them over 50% of our bill. I told her it was very generous of her. She told me as we walked out the door “they helped me open my eyes more. Even if they don’t know they did it, they did. I want to repay them for that. And the service was fantastic.” (It was.)

Moral of the story, even old people who are dead set in their beliefs can change. It’s not hard. They are not stupid. It might take them a minute to understand. They may never understand. But what they do understand is respect over understanding matters. And once they open their eyes to that, it’s easy for them to change.

My 90yr old Irish Catholic grandpa doesn’t miss with my gender. He’s never gotten my name wrong, or my pronouns, never even faltered over it.

It’s all so natural too: son, big man, young man…

We’ve never talked about it. He’s the only one who hasn’t pushed for details. He just accepted it and carried on because it’s not a huge deal.

It’s so comforting.

[sleepyburito]

Venting about my father

Tw! mental issues not being addressed/someone refusing to medicate and for... I guess weird dad? and a parent seemingly living through their kid? Idk how to explain this one, parents yelling at their child and general bad parenting

So... Imma just start with the usual thanking god I don't live with my dad and I haven't meet with him in person since the year before covid and yeah I am very grateful

But I have a once a week skype call with him I literally can only get out of if I'm really sick, have a social event or play up my exhaustion to make it seem like I'm sick

So my dad is a fucking ping pong ball of emotions when it comes to these calls. Sometimes the call is nice and sweet while other times I feel like fucking crying afterwards

I don't ever tell a lotta people how bad things get even my mom doesn't know the full extent of things. Like she's seen some of the worst of it cause it usually results in me crying and needing a hug but there's a lotta little things.

a prime incident that makes me so fucking mad looking back on it now is when I was 13. It was my dads birthday and I had managed to send his birthday present but it was going to be a bit late. I let him know this but then he doesn't show up for our Skype call. Then he sends this message.

'I'm very disappointed in you ***' (not saying my legal name here)

and it turns out he's upset I 'forgot' his birthday and it takes him hours to answer and in that time I have a full on meltdown crying session while me and my mom try figure out wtf?

Then there was the time he got on my ass about studying (which yes I was not doing) in a way that made my stubborn self snap and so he got mad and I got so mad I started crying and next thing I know we're ending the call and I'm crying to myself in the kitchen.

I now offer last weeks call. I mentioned I hadn't gone out and socialised much but I had managed to go on some walks and get some nice time to myself (I hadn't I just wanted him to shut up with asking me what I did) and I mentioned I wasn't the most energetic and also mentioned I was unwell. He got... idk offended?? that I said two 'different' things and was still pissed even when I explained I was exhausted cuz I was unwell cuz I didn't wanna explain to him I was having a terrible period that left me curled up behind my mom on the sofa to help with cramps

now, here comes my 'living through me' theory

I'm a lot more introverted than my dad, me and my mom rarely leave the house for social events because it's not our thing and we just rarely have the energy for it. My dad however, would rather I go out like every other day which is a massive no for me as I once had social plans for a solid 4 days straight and ended up exhausted and barely able to function afterwards

He got a bit annoyed when I mentioned I hadn't done much over the week and had mainly spent time for myself and talking with friends online

then he asks if I'm going to start dating my platonic partner again (long story short, we dated romantically for nearly 3 years but then we both realised we were on the aro spectrum and now we're just something undefined just... us). And previously when we were dating ... he would ask really weird questions that made me extremely uncomfortable about us kissing, having sex etc and I just... did my best to joke my way out of it or change the topic but he'd continue on even when I tried to stop him.

Then he asks about my week plans and gets pissy again! when I say my plans just include more walks because I wanna get more fresh air and not be trapped in my warm house all day.

He got so pissed he ended the call for once and I am just so done.

This is from a man who stopped taking his very important meds several years ago (around the time of the birthday incident) and it now and then hits me that this is the result.

He is well and truly a stubborn asshole and I'm considering just lying half the time that I met up with friends so he can shut the fuck up. He doesn't even pay fucking child support, closest thing he does is send me money for holidays and birthdays

I just.... really really wish I could cut him out but I can't rn and it fucking sucks so badly and I just... I really wish I could tell him to fuck off

this is without including him trying to make me his 'perfect lil princess' and when he got me, a gender blob of a person he kept trying to make me a sports fan which also! didn't work. Also his weirdness about me cursing when jesus fuck he knows how teenagers are and that I'm on the internet and around people my age?

I can also add him thinking it's 'funny' to imply I have feelings for literally any of my friends which is just a fuck no (not just cuz of the aro thing but because I'm also a lesbian with a lot of guy friends-)

Oh and the period of time where he kept 'joking' about me becoming a nun and working for god (I'm agnostic now) and him getting pissed when he learned I stopped going to church because it just wasn't for me

Then there's the time he yelled at me for something my mom did and now I cry when I'm stressed and yelled at while also having bad financial guilt when people spend money on me

Oh and for basic clarification? my dad doesn't have any custody or guardianship over me as my parents were never married but broke up when my mom was pregnant with me. My mom got complete guardianship over me and my dad (when he lived in my country) would visit and when he moved I'd go over there and stay with him for a week.

I don't know how I feel about him but I do know I really wish I could cut him out of my life for good.

sorry for the random vent I just needed to get this off my chest

[icharchivist]

That's okay

You're allowed to be unwell about Zack, he's so sweet

Enjoy the good moments with your man. Especially if you say that they haven't been handling him so well so far

oh anon.

that's so sweet

thank you very much. i'm going to enjoy everything

but it's not as much as they've been handing it not well but..

if you don't mind spoilers, i'll explain,

Zack is supposed to be dead!!!!!!! He's supposed to be dead!!!!!!!!

Zack's death is supposed to happen before the OG timeline and it is a consequent element of Cloud and Aerith's storyline and even Tifa's to an extend. A major part of the plot rests on Zack's death, because it traumatized Cloud so much he forgot everything about Zack and /started to mix his identity with Zack in his mind so much so that he thought what happened to Zack happened to him in flashbacks/. Which is why Aerith, Zack's ex-girlfriend (only ex because Zack DIED mind you), start to take a major interest in trying to understand what's up with Cloud because "why is this random dude i just met who has ZACK'S SWORD on his back and who's behaving just like Zack doesn't know who Zack is.". And it's important to Tifa as well because when Cloud starts to recall stuff that happened to Zack as if it happened to him, but those things are stuff Tifa knows about, it means Tifa has a mental breakdown the whole game thinking /she's/ going insane because she doesn't remember Cloud being there at all and she wonders if she made up Zack in her own mind.

And the whole thing builds up the whole game as Cloud becomes more and more instable and comes to a boil when Sephiroth ends up using the fact Cloud's memories are so fucked up Tifa has an existential crisis to push Cloud over the edge and make him entirely his puppet.

Zack haunts the narrative, his death is extremely signifiant to the game, it's the mystery of the first part of the game on "what the fuck is going on with Cloud", and once you actually get to see flashback of Zack you see he's a sweet and cheerful guy who died protecting Cloud at all cost. And Sephiroth's manipulations hinges a lot on Zack, this is literally after breaking Cloud's mind over the Zack reveal that Sephiroth is able to use Cloud to start the apocalypse.

But in the remake they went with a whole thing about how Sephiroth came back in time so the Sephiroth you see in the remake is one from the end of the game who knows what's going to happen and is playing his cards differently this time around, which leads to the Specters, "keeper of the timeline" to try to do everything to set the timeline back on rail, but the Remake ends on destroying the Specters... which, meanwhile, affect a parallel timeline where ZACK DOESN'T DIE, and the remake and rebirth have the two timelines going on, one that has some canons elements but a different Sephiroth, and one where it's Zack progressing in the plot, and i'm pretty sure from what i've seen the timelines do end up merging and Zack is able to reunite with Cloud.

And everything i've seen? Zack is super in character, he's sweet, he's perfect, and like, do you know how many fix-it AU post canon i've had over "Zack comes back to life"? it's a lot. I had a lot. To say i want Zack back is an understatement

but i really hate the way the remake is going at it and i really hate the bait and switch over "ahah maybe the characters who died won't die this timeline" because i love those characters so much i wish they were alive, but the whole story of the game needs them to die to make sense.

And so i watch Rebirth!Zack content wincing because "why the fuck is he alive he shouldn't be there you're cheapening the thematics linked to his death" while also being "ZACK ALIVE AND BREATHING WE'RE SO WINNING"

so to say i am mentally torn about all of this is an understatement.

seeing Zack's death play out is literally the thing that got me into video games and especially in ff7, his death is one of the most impactful in fiction to me along with the other ff7 death.

i'm feeling played with.

but also. Zack 😭😭😭

so yeah i have a normal one everytime i see him--

thank you for reading. i'm going to cry over Zack again brb

[justtogetthrough]

I'm not ready for another week of work. I'm too sad and I have to much homework and housework to do. (Isn't it weird that those mean two different things)

[mercityart]

All art and writing is mine, do not steal. View my art on other socials too. To understand the characters back stories pls view my character design/info charts. https://linktr.ee/Mercitycreeps

Tw: these characters are mentally unwell individuals who don't typically have the means for therapy or medication, they aren't meant to be perfect, and just like so many other ppl they can be toxic and exhibit bad behavior such as self harm, possessiveness and so much more.

TW!!! MENTIONS NSFW AND POSSIBLY DESCRIPTIONS OF SUCH ACTIONS!!! A ❤️ WILL INDICATE IF ITS IN THAT CHARACTERS PART

-----------------------FIRST KISS----------------------

❤️Toby- Now in all honesty it takes a very very long time to get the courage to kiss you, but once he does there's no going back, he is absolutely head over heals. Toby likely won't give you a proper kiss even after having oral sex. He is the type of guy who can fuck your brains out no problem but when it comes down to wholesome things like kissing and hugging he is very nervous.

He's used to constantly moving fast and always doing hard work so the thought of such soft things is very confusing for him. Sure he can enjoy quiet relaxation time, but typically he does this alone without anyone but himself and nature.

You likely don't see sex before hugging or kissing as ideal when entering this relationship, and so you turn down his advances in this regard. He was confused, he just doesn't understand what he's doing 'wrong', so he had came to you for answers.

As you sat on the window seat enjoying a nice cold drink you look up to see Toby standing in the doorway after spotting his large frame in the windows reflection. He stood stiff, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck as he avoided eye contact before finally doing so, chewing on his lip. "Hey hun, you ok?"

Toby sighs and takes a deep breath. "Honestly? Uh, no not really. Um... I think we need to talk." This makes you freeze up.

Oh no. Not those words, not that sentence, that never means anything good. You sit up and give him your full attention in confusion. "Sure babe, I'm sorry, is... Is there anything I can do to help? What's bothering you?"

He walks forward and sits on the opposite side of the window seat, staring out at the cascading water droplets that race down the glass pane. "I don't understand. I keep trying to get intimate with you but you never want to do anything. Is it me? Did I do something?? Am I just reading the room wrong? I don't get it! We never do anything whatsoever. It's like- it's like we're not even a couple."He sighs and rests his forward against the window frame, looking to the side at you for answers.

"I... Toby... You know I love you, I do. Sex, that's not a necessity for a relationship. What if I'm ace? What then? Toby, it's not that I don't want to be intimate with you.. I don't want to have something so intense, so extreme when we never even kiss. Hell, I don't think we even hug! I try to cuddle you and you always get up saying you gotta do something. I've just kinda... Given up on intimacy." You frown and stare down at the seat, not noticing the shadow that looms over you.

"(Y/n)... Look at me." You jolt slightly as Toby's hand lightly places itself under your chin and tilts your head up to look at him. You do just that, staring up at him in confusion and worry, brows knitted together in concern, searching his expression. Toby leans in close, hand cupping your cheek as he observed you, he looked uncomfortable and nervous, uncertainty in his gaze as he leaned in nearly touching your lips when you pull away, placing a hand to his chest.

"You can't just do that to get what you want... I don't want it to mean nothing to you, I don't want it to be a burden..." You stand up, walking away without another word.

Days passed and the weather only got worse, just like your mood. You grew more and more depressed, your heart feeling like it had been shattered a bit. You feel undesirable, unloved, unappreciated, touch starved and lonely.

After the incident Toby has been spending less and less time around you, opting to find any reason at all to stay away. You lay staring at the ceiling, cheeks stained by your tears as you had sobbed, the sound of pouring rain and your music covering up the sounds of your pain.

Suddenly a loud crash reverberated around you after a bright flash, illuminating a figure from your window making you spring up in a panic, only to pause. There Toby stood, a sad look on his face as he was drenched from the storm. You can't help but take a small amount of pity on him and you unlock the window, opening it up for him and turning back to walk to your bed.

Suddenly strong arms wrap around your waist, Toby tugging you to his body as he buries his face in your shoulder. He inhales deeply, relaxing at your scent filled his senses.

"Toby...? What are y-" you are cut off by being turned to face him and his lips are planted gently on your own. The kiss was tender, his lips soft but rough due to the many scars he adorned. Slowly Toby pulls away a little bit, forehead resting against your own.

He was horribly touch starved and desperate for your affection, and he found himself actually enjoying the sweet softness of your touch, the kiss making his heart flutter.

"I've missed you... I.. I can't stay away from you.." 

Tim- Tim is often away for work and missions. He is apart of a logging company and often trucks the logs to wherever they are needed, not to mention thanks to his high position within the company he has to attend meetings all over the nation and sometimes outside of the nation.

He prefers trucking as this often helps him with his missions as he's not in one place for long and thus it's hard to link anything back to him.

Tim had been away for almost two whole weeks and you are missing him significantly but you knew that this was necessary for him and the others to live away from people and live as relatively normal and comfortable lives as they could. This doesn't take away from any of the feelings of loneliness you feel though.

As such you sat in your room, knees tucked to your chest you read a sappy novel that had been recommended to you, this only seems to fuel your touch starved mind however. You tear up a bit, but to rid of these feelings you decide to get up and eat a meal on the porch.

You are quick to get dressed in comfortable clothes and order some Chinese take out, it isn't until the order arrives do you realize you ordered not just your usual but also Tims. Instead of wasting it you pay in full and set it on the table beside your own as you prepare to eat. Then there's a knock at the door, did the delivery driver forget something??

You walk over and open the door a smidge only to see the face of none other than a exhausted Tim. Swiftly the door is yanked open fully and Tim is quick to find comfort within your welcoming embrace.

"I've missed you too darlin'.." he sighs in content, burying his face in your shoulder, far too comfortable to remove himself, so he chooses not to, lifting you off the ground to wrap your legs around his waist as he enters the home, closing the door behind himself. Inhaling deeply he chuckles, "Does my nose deceive me or is that sesame chicken I smell?"

Laughing you lightly ruffle his hair, "yeah, I accidentally ordered our usual sooooo," hopping down you lead him to the couch where the food was thankfully still hot. "Eat up handsome, you look starved."

Tim tolls his eyes and tugs you to the couch, rushing to eat, taking a few large bites before relaxing and slowing down. You can't help but laugh at how eager he is, but then you notice him staring at you, his head tilted at a odd angle and looking up at you with the softest gaze you'd ever seen.

Slowly Timothy reaches up, his thumb carresing your cheek gingerly and he leans in close, able to feel his breath dust across your lips as he speaks.

"You are the most gorgeous person I've ever met..." With that he tenderly kisses you, his lips tasting of tobacco and coffee, a bitter mixture but it is oddly nice, and you welcome it.

Brian- You have been at work all day long, it is storming out and here you are, it's nearly midnight, you hadn't eaten anything since breakfast at five in the morning when you came into work at five a.m. a couple of co-workers had walked out and you were made to work overtime and close that night.

You are absolutely exhausted, starving, depressed, stressed and have a horrific migraine and unfortunately your job wouldn't allow you the time to go out to your vehicle to get any medication for it. You honestly just want to get home as quickly as possible and sleep!

Finally as the clock ticked by you finish cleaning up everything and get to clock out. You lock up the place and head out to your vehicle in a hurry, trying to avoid the pelting icy rain drops that pour from the sky, though your effort is fruitless as you end up soaked from head to toe and to make things worse you trip and twist your ankle.

Once making it to your vehicle you rest your head upon the steering wheel, tears welling up in your eyes. You are beyond stressed and don't know how much more you can take before a full blown mental break happens. Lifting your head you inhale deeply, starting up the vehicle and drive home in silence.

Upon parking in the driveway you can only limp painfully into your home, allowing the rain to absolutely drench your shivering form once more.

Inside is quiet, lonely even as you remove your shoes and you trudge your way to the bedroom solemnly. Not even five minutes pass before you hear a knock at the front door so you are given no choice but to turn right back around and answer the door.

There under a red umbrella stands Brian, he seems in a happy and energetic mood but that quickly changes upon gazing at you.

He allows himself to push into the home and closes the door after closing and shaking the umbrella, removing his shoes. Brian places his large hands on your cheeks, staring at you with furrowed brows. "You look..."

"Exhausted? In pain? Hideous?"

"I was going to say stressed but those work too."

He tugs you to him and you can't help but bury your face in his faded yellow hoodie, a quiet whimper escaping your wobbly lips as they quiver, trying not to cry.

"Oh my little flower... Sweetheart... Shhh, it's ok. I'm here, I gotcha, it's ok to cry.." and with that you begin to cry, clutching at the fabric of his hoodie.

Brian holds you for what feels like forever, rubbing your back and whispering words of comfort as your voice sobs out almost incoherent sentences of how shitty your day was. He simply nods along and carries you to your room, making you rest on the sheets as he took out a pair of shorts and removed his hoodie, handing them to you to put on.

He turns away as you change and once done he holds you close once more, laying you down on the bed and then you notice the bag he had been carrying, to which he chuckles and hands you a McDonald's meal and drink. "I assumed you'd be starving so I got us food."

You relax slightly and immediately dig into the fries with a content sigh, stomach growling desperately for the delicious food. Brian can't help but chuckle at this, nuzzling his face into your neck happily. "I knew you'd like it."

You simply hum in response, mouth too full to give much else of a response. Once you eat every last crumb and are fully satisfied Brian simply scrunches of the garbage and puts it in the garbage bin beside your bed and lays back.

Tugging you down with him, his hands tracing along your skin, tickling at your sides lightly before pecking across your face, eliciting a array of giggles and squeals before finally his eyes lock on yours and his lips grow dangerously close to your own.

Searching your gaze for any hesitation or distaste as he pulls you into a sweet yet passionate kiss, his lips are a bit rough but he is so gentle with it, honestly taking your breath away with the amount of love that radiates from him.

Once you two pull apart for air Brian gives you a toothy grin. "Fuck you are so perfect. I love you (y/n)."

Jeff- You and Jeff have been together for a while at this point, cuddling and hugging isn't a uncommon occurrence and you would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy his touch. Honestly though you crave more.

You had figured that Jeff would have initiated more long before, afterall, he is Jeff. This doesn't happen though, and you are very confused by this. You have heard stories about how much of a flirt he can be, how many people he's kissed or more, you are a bit jealous.

Jeff and you are cuddling on the couch watching a vampire movie called The Priest when you decide to try and initiate some sort of affection from the man.

At first you are playing with his hair gently, then you are nuzzling at his neck. Jeff only hums happily at these movements and so you kick it up a notch, lightly pecking his neck. This got a reaction from him but not exactly what you expected.

Jeff tensed and sits up with you on top of him, making you sit up. Now you are worried. "Jeff..? Are you ok?" He simply shakes his head, taking a moment to collect himself.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what..? Kiss your neck?"

"Duh, what else would I be talking about?" Now he is getting agitated and his mood is going downwards so you sit there trying to think of how exactly to explain yourself, should you tell the truth or make something up?

"I... I'm sorry. I just- I dunno.. I really have been wanting your love lately... I keep thinking about what people told me, and- I guess I'm just jealous..." You look away, ashamed and embarrassed, not daring to look at Jeff in that moment.

"Jealous? Of what??" He stares at you in complete and utter confusion, mouth slightly ajar. Is he joking? "You- i- we've been together for a while and we still haven't k kissed! I'm jealous of the people you haaaave kissed..!"

Now this gets quite the reaction from him, eyes wide- erm- wider, and cheeks dusted pink. "You want to kiss me?"

"Uh, duh! I've been trying to kiss you, you friggin-"

he cuts you off and covers your face with his hands. "Jeff? What the heck are you doing?"

"Nothing!" You push his hands out if the way with a bit of a struggle and a little cat fight to find him trying to hide his bright red face, he is embarrassed. "Are you-?"

"No I'm not! You shoosh!" You honestly can't help but laugh a bit, apologizing as you do so, holding your stomach as you laugh far too much. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up."

Eventually you wipe the tears from your eyes and calm down enough. "Sorry, you are too cute." He simply huffs and pouts, crossing his arms before freezing up.

You had leaned down and pressed your lips flush to his own. Slowly but surely he relaxes and leans into it, the kiss heating up a bit. It's intense, passionate and desperate, hands tangling in one another's hair and/or clothes.

Eventually though you two have to break away for air. Panting you stare down at Jeff who's gaze is hazed over a bit, watching you with a gaze full of absolute adoration.

Soon he's tugging you back to himself, "I'm not done with you yet."

Liu- Now surprisingly, Liu is a very jealous person and can be super overprotective at times. You are hanging out with him whilst he does his job doing tattoos and piercings.

You have no problem with their job, in fact you are so happy they have a job he loves. You don't mind that they get to see all sorts of body parts and gets flirted with on a daily basis, just shows that you are with a loyal, accepting, body positive, creative and handsome as hell lover.

You enjoy watching them do his work, seeing him zone into his headspace as they focus in on his work. You currently were helping them set up for their next client, apparently it was someone who was getting their nipples pierced so you were honestly quite excited as you have been contemplating getting your own pierced so watching it get done in person is a good experience to help with the decision.

After setting up you walk over to Liu, wrapping your arms around his waist as you look up at them in endearment. "Hola precioso." He coos, swaying you both slightly. "Hello to you too handsome." Liu smiles at you, hands tracing along your back, hands planted just above your ass as they pull you in closer, leaning in close only to back off and set you to sit on his desk causing you to pout a bit.

Then you hear the bell ring out and Liu goes to greet the client. After a few minutes a woman walks in, and you'd be lying if you said she isn't gorgeous.

She wears leather pants, a baby blue crop top with a Peirce the Veil logo across her chest, and she has a death hawk that is dyed neon pink with white tips. Not to mention of course she has tattoos and piercings adorning a good portion of her body.

"Alright, if you could just take a seat and remove your top I'll be able to get started on you." Liu rolls up a small tray table with the supplies they need, carefully putting on rubber gloves.

The woman removed her top and brallete, waiting patiently for Liu to finish up. Liu is careful with explaining everything he is doing to her, being sure to be as gentle as possible, though she keeps making slightly flirtatious comments back at him.

This typically wouldn't have bothered you however this time it really does, not because she's flirting but because Liu was reciprocating these advances.

You aren't sure what to do and grow antsy as you watch. Liu seems a bit more touchy than usual, though you try and convince yourself that it's your imagination but you can't help but grow jealous and feel hurt by what you are witnessing, feeling like a third wheel, it seems as though they both completely forgot you are in the room.

So you use this to your advantage and simply walk off, taking a bit of a walk around the streets where Liu works. After about an hour you assume the woman was gone and head back to Liu's work, after all, it typically only take anywhere between them to thirty minutes to do piercings and it is time for him to close up shop anyways.

Unfortunately though, you were incorrect as she is still there, leaning over the counter talking to Liu, receipt in hand. Liu is leaning close to her as well and when you walk in, the bell reverberating around you, they look towards you.

The woman is then quick to leave, winking at Liu as she shoves past you. Now you are not a happy camper, glaring at the floor, a growl escaping your throat in irritation, gripping the metal bar of the shelf beside you tightly.

"(Y/n)..?" Snapping back to reality your gaze fixes on Liu as they walk around the counter, grabbing his coat and keys. "What." Your voice is cold and clearly agitated making them stop in their tracks, staring at you. You don't notice though, glaring at the floor, not bothering to pay attention to your surroundings.

That is of course until you are brought back to the real world as Liu presses their lips to your own in a rough kiss. The kiss is deep and a bit heated, desperate almost before he pulls away with a huff.

"You're hot when you're jealous~"

❤️Sully- Now of course you had kissed Liu first, he seems to get the first of everything with you but for Sully that doesn't count for them, he needs to be the one in control of the body for it to count.

They have been trying to kiss you for so long, longer than when you had been kissed by Liu! They are desperate for your affection. He is very much respective in regards to your consent and boundaries, so they never ever do anything without you knowing and agreeing to it first, always asking you verbally for permission only to be rejected.

You of course have been teasing him, leading him on, trying to test their limit.

You and them are on a bit of a date, walking along a forest trail to a spot in the trees Sully enjoys as it's calming for him, and they want to have a romantic picnic with you. So here you two are walking your way down the trail in a comfortable silence. You of course are wanting to screw around a bit and egg him on.

You stop and lean against a tree, glancing back at Sully, a smirk gracing your features before you duck behind the tree, giggling all the while as Sully stiffens in posture and leans around the tree to see you. Y

ou of course dodge away and you two are playing a game of cat and mouse, unbeknownst to Sully you are guiding them to their picnic spot. Eventually you dash out from behind a tree and Sully is quick to trap you in his arms, the two of you collapsing on the soft grass of the small clearing.

He is smirking and you are breathing heavily, squirming beneath him. Sully watches and leans close to you before stopping, hesitating a bit. "Awww, what's wrong big guy~? Don't you want-" you're quickly caught off guard as Sully finally shoves his lips against your own, it's deep, heated and passionate, taking your breath away allowing perfect access for him to shove his tongue into your mouth, bodies entangling as your tongues fight for dominance.

Eventually you two break away, gasping for air greedily. "Don't tease me mi alma~"

Helen- Helen is very much a cold and serious individual, she rarely shows affection and frankly you are starting to feel neglected.

You understand that they had a very rough life and don't understand emotions very well, but that doesn't stop the feelings you have.

You are laying on the window seat watching the street, stray water droplets racing down the glass from the light drizzle that has been going on and off throughout the day. Your mind is foggy, fingers lightly picking at the fabric of your shirt as your mind is a bunch of loud chaos, it is one of those times where your mind is so loud yet painfully silent at the same time.

Unbeknownst to you Helen has been sitting in a chair off to the side of you, watching you as she sketches your body in great detail. He absolutely immersed themself in his art, only when she comes to and looks at the results does she realize just how sorrowful you appear.

She sits up stiffly and his head snaps in your direction, icy gaze focusing on your frame. "мой маленький цветок what is wrong?"

This makes your attention perk up, not because he spoke but the time they used. Her voice was extremely gentle and sweet, not her usual cold monotone. You sit up a bit and turn to look towards them only to find he is kneeling beside your seat, eyes scanning your features, brows scrunched in worry, completely out of character for them.

"Helen..?" You are completely and utterly confused, this only grows as he reaches out and cups your cheek in her palm, inspecting you a bit.

"возлюбленный you look so sad, as perfect as you are I do much prefer a smile upon your features. What is the matter?"

"I... I'm just a bit sad is all. It's no big deal, really!" This only makes them more worried, frowning slightly.

"моя возлюбленная please tell me what bothers you? I wish to fix whatever it is." You blush a bit, his words far more affection than what you are used to, all you do is crawl closer, turning your body so you can wrap your arms around her shoulders and legs around their waist, nuzzling into his neck.

"тебе одиноко? You need my love?" She coos gently, an arm planting itself to support your backside while the other lightly rubs your back as he stands up with you in arm, walking over to the couch to lay down with you on top of them.

"We rarely touch at all.. I... I just really need your love... I'm sorry..." You pout a bit, embarrassment evident by the blush on your cheeks.

This only makes him chuckle a bit, leaning his face in close to yours. "You could have just asked you know."

Then her lips are on your own, and you just melt into it, their lips are intoxicating, so incredibly soft and perfect. He is passionate and slow with it, hands lightly carresing your sides.

Once he pulls away you noticed the light blush that dusts her cheeks. "ты вызываешь привыкание."

Jack(EJ)- Jack is not commonly super affection, especially not with words, typically showing his love through acts of service. You don't mind this, but you'd be lying if you said you don't want more.

You love jack, truthfully, but he does not initiate physical affection ever and frankly that has been making you feel a bit lonely as of late.

You decide to go out for a walk one night as Jack is just too busy with his hunting and you don't want to sit there all by your lonesome. Now, you had thought a walk would be a good idea, something calm and mindless but you were very wrong that night.

You are walking around aimlessly, watching the sky through the trees as you walk, this is your first mistake. Your second mistake is merely wearing shorts, a t-shirt and a old pair of worn out, slippery sneakers.

You are just too interested with the stars to pay attention to where you are going and so you have stepped far to close to the edge of a ditch and the ground is muddy thanks to the recent storms causing you to slip.

You panic, legs kicking wildly to try and stop the descent but your shoes just don't have enough traction and you fall into the ditch with a painful this, gasping sharply when you land on your knee, hearing a loud pop. You cry out in agony, low leg angled at a incredibly unnatural way.

Thumping your fist into the ground you growl, trying to calm yourself and think of a solution. You take out your phone, you have barely any signal but it's worth a shot. Your phone rings a few times, only to be greeted by the sound of a voicemail box. You hang up, cussing angrily as you sit yourself up, leaning against the side of the ditch.

You can only wait and conserve energy, hoping that your lover would return your call.

Jack was on his way home through the woods when his phone rang, however the signal in that area is too poor to be able to answer properly. He's confused to see your icon, you knew he'd be home around this time, why did you call him?

Upon reaching home he is confused to see the lights all off and the door locked so he clicks his voicemail to listen to what you needed in hopes to understand what's going on. "H hey Jack, um, sorry to bother you, you're probably busy it's just that uh.. I'm stuck in a ditch in the woods and you see, I would climb out but my leg is... Well. I can't tell if it's broken or if it's just dislocated but it certainly fucking hurts like a bitch. Um... Help?"

And with that the voicemail ends leaving Jack in a full state of panic.

Oh no. No no no. His precious little mate is lost, stuck and hurt. He hones in his senses, inhaling deeply he picks up on your scent. Immediately he's on your trail, running rapidly through the trees, it only takes him ten minutes to find you when a normal person it would take an hour just to walk to this area.

Jack peers over the edge, spotting your fragile body below and he relaxes a bit, hopping down to where you rest. "Jack!!" You cry out in relief, teary eyed and in pain, all you wanted was for your lover to be here with you.

Jack is quick to crouch over you, inspecting the damage in concern, a deep whine escaping his lips and his pointy ears flick backwards in discontent as he found you not only dislocated your knee but strained the tendon far too much.

He places a hand to your mouth, using his other hand and his knee to keep you still as he pops it back into place. Thankfully his large palm was able to muffle your scream, but the pain is only momentary.

You try to get up but Jack doesn't allow you, lifting you up into his arms, holding you close to his chest with a growl, warning you to stay still as he carries you back home.

Once home Jack is quick to set you on your bed, rushing around you to create a nest of soft objects and his scent before climbing beside you despite him being far too large to properly lay in the bed.

He holds himself above you, body supported by his elbows, claws lightly tracing your skin. Then his lips are on your own, possessive and strong, his rough lips pressed harshly into your own until you have to push him away for oxygen.

"My little mate, poor sweet lover, you need to rest, let me take care of you."

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[deadmomjokes]

Please yell so much about batman

Okay so first off, I am LOVE. I love my mentally unwell disaster child, but more than that, I love that they actually gave us a mentally unwell disaster Bruce. Because my #1 complaint about Batman, especially movie iterations, is "When does he sleep?" This addresses that: he's literally a nocturnal shut-in. He's pale af from never seeing the sun, which probably doesn't help the depression because his Vitamin D levels must be lower than mine. For most people with an average circadian rhythm, day sleep is not nearly as refreshing or useful as night sleep (it literally takes a special breed to do night shift and not Suffer). So he goes out, gets beat to crap and beats several dozen people to crap, comes home, spends hours logging the night's activities, then sleeps all day. Absolute dumpster fire of a life, and I'm SO proud they address that. Because a nice, healthy Bruce/Bat Balance is something we see from a mature, seasoned Batman. This is year 2 for our Bruce, and he's just all in on the Batman thing. Which, of course, begs the question, "What kind of person does that?" The answer is, "Someone very, very Not Okay."

Let's be real: no sane, stable, well-adjusted, healthy person decides one day, "I'm going to risk my life and legal freedom to go out and be both a detective and a vigilante, while dressed as a giant bat." Bruce is very explicitly none of those things in this movie. He's visibly sleep deprived, he can't make eye contact, he has no idea how to act around human beings, can't hold a conversation, he looks viscerally uncomfortable just existing in his own body, is always Too Still, doesn't blink enough, and hyperfixates so hard it may actually be killing him. He pours everything into Batman, to the point that you get the impression that he feels like Batman is the real person, and Bruce is the construct. He's incredibly unstable and unwell. He is Consumed, and they don't shy away from showing that that's not a good thing.

They also show exactly how bizarre Batman as a concept and person is. He's so surreal and uncanny compared to the legitimate detectives and average people he's Looming around, and everyone is visibly and understandably unnerved by him. He looks about 3 seconds from snapping at any given moment, but in the still, laser-focused way of a big cat or snake. He's either freakishly still, or all brutal motion, and you never know which you're about to get. I finally understand why criminals see the Bat Signal and high-tail it out. They did such a good job of showing us that side of The Bat-- an urban legend horror story, possibly a cryptid, who at the very least is Not A Normal Human Being.

I was so refreshed by how real and grounded everything felt. In a superhero movie, it's easy to get swept up in so much suspension of disbelief, it stops having any real meaning to you as a person. But this was a viscerally real city, with real people, and real issues. Set design was on point, man. That's my Gotham right there.

Also, the sound design! Not just the music, which was PHENOMENAL (bangin' as always Michael), but the use of sound. Foley artists absolutely killing it!! The use of the bootsteps to herald Batman's arrival and underscore how eerie and deliberate every motion is. The tiny little creaks and shuffles of the leather suit, again underscoring the extremely subtle motions he makes. The breath effects for when we're in Riddler's perspective. All the gritty little details of a dirty, crowded city-- nothing was silent, which is just how it should have been!

And holy crap it was SO GORGEOUS. The color! The use of light and, more accurately, shadow! The hallway muzzle-flare-strobe-effect fight! They spared no detail, and some of the shots legit gave me chills. And, of course, at its most basic it did its job with telling us the story and enhancing our understanding of the characters and their inner workings, but it did so in such a thoughtful, deliberate way, that's an essay for another time. But it is for sure on the way.

I have way more feelings and Thoughts about this, so I'll put them in another post below a cut for spoilers because I have GOT to talk about the visual symbolism, theme/thesis, and overall story commentary. So stay tuned, much more yelling to come (probably tomorrow because I done jacked up my neck somehow and typing position is not a great one to be in atm).

But yeah, conclusion part 1: THE BATMAN YES

[menfenced]

More thoughts about Moon Knight. Spoilers below. 

I want to talk about a moment in the third episode when one of the gods asks Marc, “Are you unwell?” Up to this point, Steven has been the one freaking out about the existence of Khonshu and Marc, and for good reason. It has completely upset his life and the person he wants to be and it’s just a really confusing and often disorienting experience. 

Meanwhile, Marc has been the one who seems to have all the answers and who has been holding it all together. And yet, when the gods ask him if he is unwell, he finally admits that yes, he is unwell. DID is often an extreme coping mechanism for trauma. The mind can fracture into identities to dissociate from that trauma, to bear the weight of that trauma, or to attempt to protect from that trauma (as just a few examples - I am by no means an expert on DID). While Steven seems to be a personality that is somewhat shielded from traumatic memories, Marc seems to be the opposite. He seems to be the person that is still trying to take on and deal with the weight of that trauma as well as new traumas in their life. So yeah, he is unwell. But I think that the way he is unwell and the way he feels unwell is very different than what the gods are asking him.

The gods have a specific purpose behind this questioning: they want to know if Khonshu is taking advantage of this mortal. They want to know if Marc has the mental capacity to even be accepting this role of avatar. And while that may come from a place of genuine concern, it’s also a bit... patronizing. 

They’re not asking this question to learn what it is that Marc needs to become well. They’re asking this question so that they can classify him as a less fortunate person who needs their protection. And in all honesty, I don’t know what Khonshu’s past behavior or future intentions are, so they could be correct in their assessment that Marc needs to be protected from him. There’s definitely some manipulation happening there with Khonshu’s ongoing threat to take Layla as an avatar if Marc refuses, so I know that Khonshu isn’t exactly a model of morality. But at the same time, I do also wonder a bit about how he sees Marc. 

In one episode, Arthur asks Steven if he thinks Khonshu chose him because he would be easy to break or because he was already broken. In the comics, it’s the former. Khonshu isn’t the one who actually causes the initial trauma for Marc, but the deity does suspect that his own multi-faceted nature is part of what pushes Marc into DID. From what I’ve read so far about the comics, Khonshu does seem to be incredibly manipulative and antagonistic at times, but in the show and the comics, he also occasionally behaves as if he does actually see Marc as a worthy person. When he sacrifices himself for their mission in episode 3, he trusts in Steven to help achieve something very difficult and then trusts Marc to be the one to save him. Despite the manipulation, Khonshu does at least grant Marc a level of respect as a capable person while the other deities are mostly just seeing him in relation to his illness. 

I do think it would be really interesting if the show is leading towards a more compassionate understanding of each other between Marc and Khonshu, one that respects Marc as a person and recognizes that innate human dignity as something that exists because of his humanity and not despite his mental illness. That’s not to say that Khonshu can’t still be somewhat antagonistic in this or future stories. Part of what I love about Layla is that she is already seeming to see him as a whole person and love him, whether he’s Marc or Steven. You don’t get the sense that she’s in love with multiple people or that she views one of these people as the “real” Marc. Since learning about Marc’s DID, you see her really making an effort to see Steven and to love him because he is a part of the person she loves. I know they’re probably setting up a reveal that Marc killed her dad or something, which... I don’t really want, because honestly I just want someone in his life that sees him and loves him completely. But who knows. Maybe we’ll get back there. 

Mostly I’m just excited to see where this story goes.