#I LOVE CHARACTER PSYCHOLOGIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘 Number of part: 29/30

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words, scenes of violence, coercion, psychological pressure.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: Hello my beloved armies 💜 I hope you are doing well 😊 I came to you with chapter 29... Um, I would like to officially admit to you that this chapter was the hardest for me to write out of all 29 that I wrote. Maybe 30 will also be difficult to write, but I'm ready for it 🫡 I don't know why, but it's hard for me to evaluate how this part turned out, whether it's worth all the time I spent and yours too, but this is how I see it 💔 Please let me know in the comments your opinion, maybe you don't like something? 🥺 As always, I appreciate and love everyone who reads and loves this story 🫂 You guys are priceless to me 😭💞

⊹ 🫂 Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and LOVE you🥰💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk, @ambiee3, @mianhae-baozi , @someoneelse0109, @medstudentlifestyle, @mskookie, @kooccult, @smokinghotstargirl , @curse-of-art, @curse-of-art2 @wintaemoonjen, @jungkookswifeeeeeee, @someonegoood, @kooko007, @indigomoonchild09, @zeytiable (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 29. Saved. 

Jungkook was not himself. He stood on the terrace of the top floor and nervously lit a cigarette. He inhaled the smoke and felt a little relieved. He had to go to Namjoon and his time was running out, but he needed to smoke at least one cigarette to put his broken feelings in order. He literally took puff after puff thinking about what happened and what he should do next.

Jungkook squeezed the cigarette with his fingers, finishing it all the way to the filter. His head was heavy with thoughts, and his heart was beating faster than usual. He replayed in his mind how he saw you in Namjoon's office. It threw him off balance. Angry, he later yelled at you in Jimin's office and sent you home because you had already done so much that you weren't supposed to. You did your part, even though he asked you to stay out of it, and that was the most annoying thing.

You always did everything for him. Even now, when you were pregnant, exhausted, ready to risk your life to get him out of this hell. You played spy games to get him out of the mafia world. You were threatened, but you did it anyway to find out important information and came to Namjoon to exchange it for his freedom.

He never wanted you to get involved in this shit. You were supposed to live a quiet life, not knowing what it means to trade information for survival.

Jungkook rubbed his palm over his face, exhaling the remaining smoke. He knew you wanted a different life for you. A life without blood, without blackmail, without threats. But how? How can he get out?

Once, at the beginning of all this, he wanted to escape. He fought. He tried not to get his hands dirty with what Namjoon made him do. But then he got used to it. And maybe he even started to like it. The power, the influence, the fear he saw in the eyes of others when he walked into a room... All these things made him who he was. And he was no longer sure if he wanted to leave it. So he was in no hurry to take any radical steps. And damn it, you noticed that, and that's why you're in Namjoon's office today. To beg for him.

Fuck...

Before all this, there was this bullshit about selling weapons to the Black Pearl. It's definitely Doohoon's handiwork. Jungkook knows that he did some business with Black Pearl's Sehun, so he definitely helped Doohoon pull it off.

Thanks to their actions, he was suspected of betrayed. Of offshore fraud, of a meeting that was actually trap. He flicked his lighter irritably, though he had no cigarette. He needed to get out of this somehow, to prove that he hadn't betrayed Namjoon.

Jungkook sighed heavily and turned to leave. But as soon as he stepped into the hallway, he saw Jimin. He looked worried.

"Jungkook-ah, I've been looking for you..." - He stopped a few steps away and looked closely at his friend's face. "Are you okay? Did Y/N leave already?" - Jungkook was silent. He didn't want to talk about your fight right now. But he had to say something, so he gathered all his will into a fist and said.

"I screwed up..." - Jungkook says tiredly, hinting at what you had fought about, and that he was set up and looks like a traitor to Namjoon. "And yes, she's already gone." - Jimin frowns. He realizes that something is going on. "Why were you looking for me?" - Jungkook asks because Jimin is lost in thought.

"Namjoon is calling us all together. He asked for everyone to be in the company this morning. And now we've been told that we're all supposed to come to his office. That's why I went looking for you, that we could go together." - Jimin replies. Jungkook nods his head and walks past Jimin, who immediately follows.

"I was just heading that way." - Jungkook says as Jimin aligns himself with him.

"What's wrong, Jungkook? Why is Y/N at the company today? And why were you two fighting?" - Jimin asks. Jungkook expected him to ask about it.

"Y/N came to get free me of Namjoon's hands." - Jungkook says shortly. He walks down the corridor confidently, taking a wide stride to make sure he makes it within the 20 minutes Namjoon has given him. Jimin walks beside him at the same pace to keep up. But when he hears Jungkook's words, he stops. Jungkook notices that Jimin has disappeared and turns around, finding him a few steps behind him.

"Free you? What does that mean?" - Jimin asks. Jungkook exhale heavily.

"That's what it means. She dug up information that the Black Pearl wants to take over Uranium from us. She came to Namjoon to tell him in exchange for my place in the clan." - Jungkook explains. Jimin widens his eyes, wants to ask something, but Jungkook doesn't let him. He turns around and walks away, throwing over his shoulder. "Come on, Jimin, I can't be late."

Jungkook and Jimin entered Namjoon's office in silence. The atmosphere in the room was tense. Everyone was already in place - Taehyung was sitting with his leg over leg, Yoongi was looking at some documents, and Hoseok was typing something quickly on his phone. Namjoon stood by the table, his arms crossed over his chest, and his gaze was as sharp as a knife blade.

Jungkook walked over to Hoseok and Taehyung and shook their hands, because he hadn't seen them yet. They sat down on the couch with Jimin and waited for someone to break the silence first.

"Is Jin not coming yet?" - Jimin asked to fill the silence, which for some reason seemed heavy, although Namjoon didn't say why he had called them. Everyone present, except Yoongi, who already knew the reason, realized that something serious had happened.

"He'll be later, we can start without him." - Namjoon said tensely and pushed away from the table and moved toward the chair. He sat down, put his hands on the armrests, gently squeezing the material of the chair and looked around at everyone in turn. Everyone present looked at their boss, waiting for an explanation. Only Jungkook was staring intently at the floor, clenching his intertwined fingers. "This morning, as soon as I stepped into my office, I received information that there was a rat in the clan." - Namjoon went on to say. The silence became even heavier. Everyone in the office seemed to be frozen, trying to understand what Namjoon meant.

Jungkook slowly looked up, but did not meet his boss's eyes. He could feel the tension coursing through his entire body, squeezing his lungs and making his heart beat faster. How do you prove you're not a traitor with all this evidence? His head hurt worse.

"A rat?" - Hoseok asked, leaning on the back of the couch. He tilted his head, watching Namjoon, trying to read his expression. "What do you mean?"

Namjoon gave a short hum as if he had heard a completely predictable question. His gaze rested on Yoongi for a moment, as if they had talked about this before, and then he turned back to everyone else.

"I mean, one of us has been transferring money through offshore firms, working behind my back with a man I kicked out of the clan a long time ago."

Jungkook didn't even need to ask who he was addressing. He knew. It was about him.

"Do you have any proof?" - Asked Jimin tensely. Namjoon nodded slowly, pointing to the folder in Yoongi's hands. He threw it on the table and leaned back on the couch.

"Of course there are, Jimin, otherwise I wouldn't have gathered you all here." - Namjoon said a little irritated. Jimin picked up the folder and began to look through its contents. Jungkook didn't even look at the files again, he knew what was in them. Taehyung frowned, rested his elbow on his knee, and intertwined his fingers.

"So who do you suspect?" - He asked without waiting for his turn to look at the evidence files. Jungkook looked up at Namjoon, and the latter he said his name directly into his eyes.

"Jungkook." - His name came out of Namjoon's mouth like a sentence. The room fell dead silent. All eyes were on him. Although he realized the gravity of the situation, he felt that he could handle proving his truth.

Everyone was looking at him-some with suspicion, some with doubt, some with indescribable shock. Jimin closed the folder and looked at his friend. His lips were pressed into a thin line, and his eyes were tense. Hosok took the folder and looked at the contents with Taehyung.

"I want an explanation, Jungkook." - Namjoon demanded. Jungkook sniffled and began to speak.

"I did meet this man, but I swear I don't know that he ever belonged to our clan. He called me when I was in the Suwon, I was waiting for a call about uranium. He said it was about a shipment, so I thought he was talking about uranium. And then he said he had samples and if I had time to meet him to examine them. I found this suspicious because I hadn't received any information about the samples. He started rubbing it in that if I didn't come, his boss would contact you and you would be unhappy. I went and when I arrived, it turned out to be weapons. Japanese weapons of good quality. I asked him where he got my phone, and he mumbled something at first, and then gave me a name. I think it was Takeshi Tanaka..." - Jungkook tells how everything happened that day, not noticing how tense Hoseok was. Jungkook had asked him to find out about this Japanese man, but he forgot to tell him that his people had gotten the information. Because of the whole uranium situation, it just slipped his mind. "I said I didn't know this Japanese guy, I said we didn't need the weapons and left. That was it, I never interacted with this man again. Namjun, I did not betray you. I have no reason to do so." - Jungkook finally finishes his explanation. Yoongi tilts his head and then rests his elbows on his knees, looking at Jungkook closely.

"What do you mean there's no Jungkook-ah? Everyone knows your position in the clan. You're not here of your own free will, and you could easily want to go behind Namjoon's back. Here are the facts: we get evidence of a meeting, a money transfer from our company, and it looks like you want to cooperate with the Black Pearl. And then your girlfriend comes in and tells us that the Black Pearl knows about Uranium, about which knew only seven people, and they want to intercept it. What are we supposed to believe?" - Yoongi asks. Jungkook took a deep breath, trying to control the rage boiling inside him. His fingers clenched into fists so hard that his nails dug into his skin. He turned his gaze to Yungi, who seemed to have already passed his sentence.

"Yes, I'm not here by choice, but isn't it stupid to betray your boss, who already has you in a vice grip? Why should I make my situation even worse? It's not logical." - Jungkook defended himself.

"You said that the man seemed suspicious and insisted that you examine the samples." - Jimin interjected. "Why didn't you call me, why didn't you ask me if this was the case or not?" - Jimin's voice sounded protesting. Jungkook deliberately kept silent, saying that he couldn't reach Jimin and Hoseok at the time because they were resting and simply didn't hear his calls, so he went alone to check what the samples were. Jungkook was silent, weighing whether to tell the truth.

"I called you, but you didn't pick up." - Jungkook said calmly. "I couldn't wait because that man was pressuring me, I couldn't not go because if it was really Uranium we would have gotten our asses handed to us by Namjoon." - Jimin's eyes run over his friend's face and realizes that he hadn't mentioned this moment during the story, but now he said it because he was pressured. Jimin cast a quick glance at Hoseok, and he looked as guilty as he did.

"Why didn't you tell us that you went to Suwon, by the way? Why were you there at that time? The photo said twenty minutes past nine in the evening?" - Taehyung asked, holding the photos in his hands. Jungkook shakes his head and barely holds back an exasperated exhale. He has to admit that he went to his parents' house with you to tell them that you two met, because it's his alibi. But he doesn't want you or his parents to be questioned.

"I went to my parents from Y/N. I had some time and so we decided to visit them. However, I did not know that I had to report to you about my every move. There was no need for that before." - Jungkook says, trying to sound casual but not irritated. Taehyung looked away, his lips pressed into a thin line. Namjoon sighed heavily, running his hand over his face.

"The evidence is well faked if it's not real. I asked Jin to find out everything about this evidence, so we only have to wait for him." - Namjoon said. Everyone was quiet. But not for long, because Jin walked into the clan leader's office. He looked as impeccable as ever, with a lingering smile on his face.

"You're all so miserable. Did someone die?" - He asked as he came inside.

"No one yet, but who knows if anyone will die today, it all depends on what you got." - Yoongi replies in an indifferent voice. Jin let out a short laugh as he sat down at Namdujun's table.

This was not a surprise to anyone. All seven men were very good friends and almost like family. Jin was the oldest, so he could afford to behave like this even with the leader of the Ran Noir clan. On paper, Namjoon is the boss, Yoongi is his right-hand man, and everyone else is subordinate, but in reality they were seven best friends who were very close, almost brothers. Even though Jungkook was with them for four years, he managed to become one of them. He has respect for his older Hyungs, especially Namjoon, even though he resisted him in every way possible at first.

Jin opens his laptop. Everyone looks at him intensely.

"Oh my God, Yoongi, what are you talking about? Inside you’re awakened your bloodlust?" - Jin turns his head to the window, peering out into the dusk. "Is there a full moon tonight or something?" - Yoongi rolled his eyes, and Taehyung and Hoseok laughed softly.

"Jin, that's enough, get to the point." - Namjoon ended his jokes. Jin bit his lip, still smiling, and then folded his hands over his laptop keyboard.

"So the evidence we got on Jungkook is overwhelming." - Jin said. He connected the laptop to the display that hung in Namjoon's office and brought up the images taken in Suwon. “But let's take it from the beginning. Jungkook drove there in his father's car. I checked the license plate, and it's his father's car." - Jin flipped through the photos, and everyone looked at them carefully. "Here's a picture of him getting out of the car, and in the next one they're shaking hands. Then Jungkook and this guy go into the warehouse. And in the last photo, where Jungkook appears, he gets into the car and drives away. The time on the photo is 8:34 pm. That is, their meeting lasted about 15 minutes. And there are no more photos. But I am the best hacker Korea has ever had. So I got the video. The video near the warehouse and also in the middle. By the way, I did a little digging and found out that this warehouse belongs to Doohoon’s father." - Jungkook raised his eyebrows at this, his gaze turned angry. This was the proof that Doohoon was involved. He stared at the monitor as Jin opened the video file, and didn't notice Hoseok fidgeting nervously on the couch.

"Well, here's the video. But there's a caveat, it's without sound, so it doesn't tell us much." - Jin said, pressing the play button. The video starts and Jin comments. "We see Jungkook pull up. He got out and stopped. You can see he doesn't shake hands with Hyuwon right away. Then he's obviously inviting our tongsung to come in and evaluate the goods." - Jin turns off the video and turns on the second file. "Here's a video from the warehouse itself. Jungkook is looking at the weapons in the crates..." - He zooms in on Jungkook's face. "Hey Jungkook-ah, you look confused, not like someone who knows there are weapons in the crates." - Jin turns to Jungkook and winks at him.

Jungkook looks at the older hyung in surprise, as if he knows how to prove his innocence. Jungkook purses his lips and nods in appreciation. He glances around at everyone, and they're all looking at the video carefully. Jin plays the video back as it was and stops it when Jungkook leaves the warehouse. Jin goes to the folder where the video files were and Jungkook notices another file. Another video.

"So what? We don't know what they were talking about." - Namjoon says when Jin turns off the video. He smiled and turned in his chair.

"Did I mention I'm the best hacker in Korea?" - He asks everyone. Yoongi rolls his eyes so that he looks like he's seen his own brain, and Jimin huffs.

"Yes, you did." - He answered for everyone.

"I'm the best because I'm good at getting things that seem inaccessible, and I'm good at hiding things that need to be hidden. I had to find out what they were talking about. The camera does not record sound, but there is a program developed by our native Korean IT specialists that allows you to read words from lips. Guess who has access to it?" - Jin triumphantly opens the third file and text appears next to the video. It's a video of Jungkook and Hyuwon standing in a warehouse. "I'm about to save your ass, Jungkook-ah!" - Jin says jokingly. "You can read the text they're saying on their lips." - Everyone reads the running text carefully.

"Who gave you my contact number again?" - Jungkook's line appears on the screen.

"Takeshi Tanaka, you worked with him. He mentioned you and said you'd be interested." - Everyone reads Hyuwon's response. Hoseok interrupts the silence that was caused by everyone reading.

"Is this the Japanese guy you asked me to find out about?" - He asks Jungkook suddenly. He nods slowly. Everyone else in the room looks at them.

"Yes, about him." - Jungkook says softly. Namjoon turns his gaze to Hoseok.

"Did he ask you to get the information about this Japanese guy?" - He asks tensely.

"Yeah." - Hoseok says, a little guiltily. "I had completely forgotten Jungkook-ah. He called me that evening, probably after he met with this man, and asked me to find information about Takeshi Tanaka. I was at the club at the time. And the next day, I instructed my manager to find something on this man. If Jungkook-ah asks me, I know it's important." - Hoseok says.

"So did you find out anything?" - Jungkook asks, looking at hyung.

"I did find something, but with all the chaos with Uranium, I forgot to tell you." - He admitted. "Tanaka has ties to the Black Pearl, but he's not an arms dealer or anything. He's a drug supplier. We have never dealt with him. So it's obvious that this whole meeting is a setup." - Hoseok concludes. Namjoon exhales a deep breath. He seems to be convinced.

"I told you from the beginning that our golden maknae couldn't have done it." - Jin chimes in. "That's why I checked everything carefully. The money transferred through the offshore account that Jungkook allegedly made was made on the day he was in Suwon. Therefore, he could not physically authorize the payment. This required his personal verification code, which he could only enter from a device connected to our closed network. And that was not possible in Suwon." - Jin explains.

"It's obvious that Jungkook is innocent, judging by their conversation and the fact that someone had access to his device, the code that no more than 10 people know." - Jimin summarizes. "Jungkook was set up well." - Everyone is tensely silent. Namjoon runs his hand over his face and exhales heavily.

"Yeah. Now I see that Jungkook was really set up." - He stands up and walks to the window. He puts his hands in his pockets and stares out at the Seoul night skyline. "So there is a rat after all! And he's working for the Black Pearl!" - He says angrily.

Jungkook stands up and gives a grateful look to Jin and Hoseok, who have essentially proved him innocent.

"Namjoon, I know who set me up…" - Jungkook says confidently. "It's Doohoon, I'm sure of it. I know he's been friends with Sehun for a long time, the Black Pearl's makne. They share a common interest in destroying not only me, but you as well." - Namjoon slowly turned around, his gaze even more intense. The room fell silent, everyone waiting for his reaction.

"It's that little shit again. He still can't stop?" - Namjoon asked.

"Yeah." - Jungkook said. "I think it's all his fault." - Namjoon thinks about what Jungkook said.

"But then who is the rat who told the Black Pearl?" - Taehyung asks.

"It's someone who communicates with us directly. I think it could be our managers." - Jimin suggested. Everyone paid attention to him. Yongi sat up straight and spoke.

"Why don't we use the information that Y/N brought us?" - Yoongi suggested. Jungkook abruptly turned his gaze to his other leader and glared at him.

"What do you mean?" - He asked Yoongi. He looked lazily at Jungkook, explaining his proposal.

"We'll arrange everything as shown in the screenshots that Y/N gave to that journalist, but we'll only change the mode of transportation. In a casual conversation with our managers, we'll say that we had to change the transport because Taehyung reported on inspections from the authorities at the previous location. And then we'll find out which manager could be the rat." - Yoongi finished.

"And how will we know which manager was the rat?" - Taehyung asked. "If everyone knows..."

"Let's get the best hacker in Korea to put a tracer and tap on their personal and work phones." - Namjoon said as he walked over to Jin and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Geez, Namjoon-ah, could you think of anything more boring and unbearable for me than following your managers?" - Jin asked, whimpering. Namjoon slapped him on the shoulder and grabbed his collar, forcing him to stand up.

"Get up from my desk." - Jin stood up grudgingly, grabbing his laptop. "You'll need to keep an eye on Jimin's manager, Hoseok, two of Yoongi's managers, and three of mine. Twenty-four hours a day, checking everywhere you can, I need to know who the traitor is, and when I find out, I'll skin him. They have all forgotten who they are dealing with." - Namjoon said menacingly. Everyone fell silent, and Jin stood next to Jungkook and hugged him like a little brother.

"Well, we have a plan of action." - Jimin summarized, getting up from the couch. "I wanted to suggest that we all go to Muse, we didn’t celebrated Seollal. After work at 7:30 p.m., we'll all go to the club. I think after all this, we need to relax a little bit." - He suggested.

Everyone agreed, and gradually the room began to empty. One by one, they left, discussing plans for the evening. Namjoon was sitting at the table, continuing to work, and when Jungkook took a step toward the door, he stopped him.

"Stay a minute." - Jungkook looked at Jimin, who. He stepped in front of him and raised his eyebrows in surprise. Jimin pursed his lips and sent support in the form of a nod. Jungkook closed the door and walked over to the table.

When they were alone, Namjoon ran his hand over his face, as if to wash away the fatigue.

"I..." - He fell silent, then exhaled and looked Jungkook straight in the eye. "I'm sorry." - Jungkook looked surprised, raising his eyebrows.

"For what?" - He asked, not really knowing.

"For doubting you." - Namjoon said sincerely. "I know how dedicated you are, but when the whole situation started to unfold... I really thought you might have betrayed me."

Jungkook was silent for a few seconds before responding seriously.

"I would never do that." - He assured him. Namjoon looked at him and then nodded.

"I know. I know now." - He was silent for a moment and then added. "If anything ever goes wrong, remember that you can come to me. Always." - He said suddenly. Jungkook tensed a little, but then nodded.

"Thank you." - He bowed low.

"I know you're not here of your own free will, and your girlfriend asked me to let you go in exchange for information she brought me. And it's really valuable information, and it turns out I have to keep my word. So..." - Namjoon stood up from his chair and walked over to Jungkook. Jungkook looked at his boss carefully. "I forgive you all of your debt. You no longer owe me anything. You've worked hard for me all these years, so I've decided that you're now free from our agreement." - Jungkook could not believe he was hearing these words. They had been necessary for him at one point, but why wasn't he as happy as he had imagined when the debt was paid off?

"Are you serious?" - Jungkook asked in disbelief. Namjoon smiled sadly.

"Yes, our golden maknae." - He tapped him on the shoulder. "So if you want to leave, I'll understand, but not right now. Please finish the business with Uranium and you can be free." - Namjoon pressed his lips together. He looked like he was going to cry. Jungkook wanted to laugh that a man like Namjoon wanted to cry for him. He would finally be free.

But something in the middle of him was twisting. He had wanted to leave the world of the mafia for years, and now that he was really free, he seemed... reluctant to leave. He dreamed of this moment, of freedom, of being able to just disappear and start a new life. But for some reason, now this freedom seemed empty to him, like something he does not remember, as something unknown to him. But there was you, and you were pregnant. You will definitely be against it if he stays.

Silence hung between them, but this time it was not tense.

"Namjoon..." - Jungkook looked up again at the man in front of him. He looked calm, but his eyes betrayed fatigue and... sadness?

"Yes?" - Namjoon raised his eyebrows slightly.

"Why now? Why did you decide to let me go now?" - Jungkook asked. Namjoon tilted his head slightly, as if evaluating his words, and then exhaled heavily.

"You've always been one of the best, Jungkook. I've seen you as a potential since the first time we met. And I know I kept you here longer than I should have. But after everything... I realized that I don't want you to stay here just because of your debt. If you're going to be a part of this world, it's going to be by choice." - Namjoon said honestly. "Besides, I made a promise to your girlfriend. How can I not keep my word to her, she's so brave and she really loves you to put herself through such a trial." - Jungkook smiled warmly. But he immediately remembered how he yelled at you today. His heart clenched and he felt terribly guilty. Jungkook didn't know what to say. He nodded, as if accepting Namjoon's words, but his mind was also full of questions that he couldn't find the answer to. "You can think about it." -Namjoon patted him on the shoulder. "Now go. You have a lot of work to do." - Namjoon returned to the table, and Jungkook bowed gratefully and turned and left the room. He was greeted by the warm voices of Jimin and Taehyung, who were waiting for him near Namjoon's secretary.

"Well?" - Taehyung asked when he saw Jungkook leave.

"Is everything okay?" - Jimin was also concerned, nudging him lightly with her elbow. Jungkook nodded but didn't say anything else.

Jungkook went into his office and immediately dialed your number. You were out of range. Jungkook raised his eyebrows. Jungkook stared at the phone screen as he dialed again and heard a cold, automated voice: "The caller is out of range..."

He sighed, running a hand over his face. This was suspicious. You rarely turned off your phone, especially now that you were carrying their child under your heart.

He remembered yelling at you. How his own voice cut through the air, and your eyes gradually filled with pain.

"Fuck..." - He muttered, clutching the phone in his hand. You couldn't just turn off the phone. Was you really offended? That would be fair enough... He was being an idiot.

Jungkook leaned back and closed his eyes. Memories came flooding back to him.

He had known you all his life. At first, you were just friends, inseparable since childhood. You were always there for each other, sharing secrets, laughing, quarreling. Then everything changed. You started living together because he offered to save you some money and it seemed convenient, logical, and right at the time.

This offer changed his life forever. He is happy that he offered you and happy that you agreed at the time. He remembers all the fights he had because of those stupid rules you made up. It makes him smile now, but back then it was so annoying.

There was sexual tension between you because you started to react differently to his jokes, to his touch, you were jealous of the girls he brought home back then. On the day you had a big fight and wanted to move out because he specifically did not follow the rules you created, he realized he had to act.

He realized that you seemed to like him and he was right. Soon after that you two became friends with benefits, and the sex with you was so passionate and insatiable that he was just crazy about you. And then... Then he realized that he could no longer imagine his life without you.

Jungkook was head over heels in love with you. He adored you. And the fact that you loved him back was the best thing that had ever happened to him.You had gone through so much in those six months that it seemed like you had been together forever.

Jungkook always knew you were special. Ever since we were kids, you were more than just a friend to him. But he didn't pay much attention to it - it was just something he was used to, as natural as the air he breathed.

He fell in love with you gradually, unnoticed by himself.

First, he fell in love with your laugh. You laughed loudly, openly, without holding back your emotions. He could recognize your voice among hundreds, and as soon as you laughed, his heart began to beat faster.

Then there was your stubbornness. You always had your own opinion, you were not afraid to object to him, to argue, to prove your point. Sometimes it annoyed him, but at the same time, it fascinated him. He loved that sparkle in your eyes when you were passionate about something, loved your confidence with which you challenged him.

And then came the passion.

It was always there between you - even when you were just friends. Invisible, hidden behind innocent touches, glances that lingered a little longer than they should have. He remembered the first time he touched your lips - you were so sweet on his lips, so provocative, and he fucking loved it. He remembers your first sex. How your skin trembled under his fingers, how you squeezed his shoulders as if you were afraid he would disappear.

Jungkook remembered every night he spent with you. How you whispered his name, how you curled up in his arms, how you gave him your trust and tenderness. These were the moments when he lost his head, when nothing existed but the two of you.

But it was something else that captivated him the most.

The fact that after all the passionate nights you stayed with him. He would wake up in the morning and see you next to him - with tousled hair, slightly swollen lips, still sleepy, but so dear. You would hug him in his sleep, looking for warmth, and then he would realize that you were not just his passion. You are his love.

And this love has lived in him ever since.

You had to do was look at him and he would fall back into that whirlpool. You had to say something in your quiet, trusting voice or run your fingers over his wrist and he would lose control.

You were his fire and his calm. You were his temptation and his refuge. His best friend, his love, his universe.

And every time he looked at you, he fell in love all over again.

Jungkook finally opened his eyes. He will work for a few more hours and then go home. About forty hours passed and he dialed your number again.

"The caller is out of range..." - His fingers nervously tapped the table. He looked at the screen and saw that he had already called you four times.

Something was wrong.

Jungkook tried to concentrate on his work, but nothing was working. Thoughts of you were always in his head. He tried several more times to contact you, but it was all in vain. After two hours, he couldn't take it anymore. He stood up decisively, took his car keys from the desk, and left the office.

Jungkook went to Jimin's office and he was talking to someone on the phone. He had to wait for five minutes, which seemed like an eternity.

"Jimin, I came to tell you that I'm going home. Y/N is out of the zone and I don't like it. Her phone has been off for two hours now." - Jungkook said. Jimin got up excitedly and came over to him.

"Don't worry buddy, she probably just got mad at you and turned her phone off so you wouldn't call." - Jungkook shook his head. He thinks so too, but he'll be calm if he comes home and you're still mad at him and he'll do everything he can to make up with you.

"Yeah, I'll go." - Jungkook says, about to leave, but Jimin stops him.

"Hey Jungkook, when you and Y/N make up..." - He winks at Jungkook, hinting at sex between the two of you. "Come to “Muse” and we'll celebrate it together." - Jungkook smiles.

"Okay, Hyung, we'll come. When are you going to go there?" - Jungkook asked.

"I have some things to do. So I'll be there around 8:00." - Jungkook nods and says goodbye with a final "See you at the club".

On the way home, he tries to call you again, but your phone is off. Jungkook starts to get nervous. He arrives at your apartment, goes up to the 7th floor, enters the code to the door, and immediately realizes that you are not home. He looks for you in all the rooms, hoping that you are just lying there upset with no light on, but you are not there. Not in any room. The apartment is empty.

Jungkook is afraid to imagine what could have happened. He quickly goes to the car and gets behind the wheel. He starts the engine and drives to his apartment. Maybe you wanted to be there. To hide? On the way to his apartment, Jungkook dials Jimin.

"I'm listening to Jungkook-ah." - He says cheerfully.

"Jimin, brother, can you please check Y/N's location on her phone? She's not at home."

"Yes, Jungkook-ah, don't panic, okay?" - Jimin immediately felt the tension in his voice. "I'll check the geolocation now. Maybe she just turned off her phone somewhere."

"Please do it quickly." - Jungkook gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"I'll call you in ten minutes." - Jimin said.

Jungkook drove fast and arrived at his apartment, ran out of the car, and quickly went upstairs. He entered the code, opened the door, and his heart went cold. There was no sign that you had come here.

He walked from room to room, peering into the darkness until didn’t beat the wall. His breathing was labored, his chest tightened with a bad feeling. He instantly turned around, ran out of the apartment, and rushed to his car. As soon as he got behind the wheel, the phone rang.

"Well?" - He asked impatiently, answering the call. Jimin paused and then spoke.

"Kid... I don't want to scare you, but her last location was the Panho Bridge, near the Han River. And then the signal just disappeared." - Jungkook felt his chest tighten with panic.

"Wh-what?!" - He compress the steering wheel hard, trying to control himself. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. But calm down. The phone could have just blow off, or..."

"Or it could have been thrown into the river!" - Jungkook growled, nervously running his fingers through his hair. "Oh my God, she's been kidnapped? Fuck Jimin, she's pregnant... I have to find her!"

"She's pregnant? Oh my god! Jungkook, calm down! We'll find her! Just give me a minute, I'll check the cameras outside her house." - Jimin soothed.

"Do that. And please do it as soon as possible." - Jungkook dropped the phone, started the engine, and sped toward the bridge, ignoring the red lights and other drivers' signals. He was afraid that Doohoon might be involved in your disappearance again. Jungkook gripped the steering wheel with a terrifying force. The fucking sucker! He had enough. He's going to kill him if he's found to be responsible for your kidnapping.

The touches of reality come slowly. At first, it's oppressive darkness. Then - a heaviness in the head, as if consciousness is breaking through a thick fog. Your eyes do not open yet, but the sensations... they cut through this darkness, make you feel.

Cold. A piercing, unfamiliar cold that gets under my skin. You smell dampness, and dust hangs in the air.

You open your eyes. You see a dusty room in front of you. Darkness envelops every corner, with only a faint ray of moonlight coming through the dirty window. The air is frozen, musty, as if this room has not been opened for years.

Your body aches. You try to stand up, but your muscles refuse to obey. Your head is dizzy and your mouth is dry.

What did he do? What happened?

The last thing you remember is Doohoon pinning you to the car, the pain of a needle piercing your neck, and then darkness.

You don't know how you ended up here, but you know it's bad. Very bad.

Your foggy mind tries to figure out what's going on, but it fails.

Your baby.

Your heart is beating faster. What's wrong with her? Panic rolls in like a wave. You run your hands over your stomach, as if that can make a difference. What if it hurt the baby? What if...

No. If anything happens to the baby, you swear you'll kill Doohoon with your bare hands.

You turn your head involuntarily. The phone is gone. Your bag is gone. Nothing. You are cut off from the world.

Panic builds like a snowball, but you force yourself to breathe steadily. Now you can't show fear. You can't panic. You need to understand where you are and what Doohoon is up to.

You have to hold out. You have to find a way to escape. But above all, you need to understand how far Doohoon is willing to go.

Suddenly, the silence is split by the sound of footsteps. Heavy, measured, and you freeze. Your heart beats an anxious rhythm in your chest. The door creaks as it opens. A silhouette appears in the moonlight. Tall, tense. Doohoon.

His eyes are dark, shining with something inexplicable. He stares at you for a long time, as if reveling in the fact that you is helpless here, in front of him.

"Are you awake, Candy?" - His voice is soft, but you can hear the hidden tension in it. "Finally." - He closes the door behind him, and you suddenly realize that the trap has closed. It's hard to breathe from fear and pain, but you won't give up. All that matters now is the baby. You have to get through this. You have to endure it. Save the baby. You think about Jungkook and you want to cry. Sooner or later, he will find you. He will find you.

"He won't find you." - Doohoon suddenly says, as if reading your mind. He stops in front of you. He takes a chair that was standing nearby and sits down. He has a strange smile on his lips that you want to wipe away with your fists.

"Doohoon, have you gone fucking crazy?" - You say, your voice hoarse. You're shivering from the cold, your head hurts, and the gap is still spinning.

"Are you cold?" - He ignores your question and asks his own, a damn stupid one. You raise your eyebrows, wanting to strangle this idiot with your own hands.

His indifference only adds fuel to your anger. You're shivering, but you don't know if it's from the cold or from hatred.

"Are you serious?" - Your voice breaks into a rasp. "Doohoon, you injected me with something and kidnapped me, and now you're asking me if I'm cold?" - He sighs, leaning forward a little. His gaze is full of condescension.

"Well, it doesn't mean I want you to be sick, Candy." - He says it so tenderly, as if you were really his precious treasure and not a kidnapping victim. It's disgusting. It's...

You think of your baby. You look down, and almost instinctively put your hand on his. Fear clutches your throat. He notices your movement and squints.

"What's wrong?" - His voice changes, becoming more alert. "Worried about the baby?"

You force yourself to meet his gaze, trying not to show fear. You look at him with hostility.

"What did you inject me with?" - You ask. He does not answer. He just looks at you. Your patience is running out. When he doesn't answer and you feel like you've been waiting forever for him to answer, you can't contain your anger any longer. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME! ANSWER ME, YOU SICK BASTARD!" - You scream.

Everything happens quickly. He flies up to you and grabs you by the hair with one hand and the cheeks with the other. You automatically grab his hands. His fingernails dig into your soft skin, and his other hand clutches your hair painfully. He brings his face dangerously close to yours for a short distance. His face is still beautiful and flawless, but you see only the monster again, not the beautiful man.

"Who gave you permission to raise your voice to me?" - Doohoon says, lowering his voice to almost a whisper. His breath is hot and unpleasant on your skin. His eyes are dark, almost crazy. He squeezes your face harder, making you feel weak, defenseless. "You know I don't like it when you act so rough, Candy." - His voice is almost caressing, but it sounds threatening.

You gasp for air, trying not to let your fear show. His fingers dig painfully into your jaw, but you don't look away. Your heart is beating in a frantic rhythm, but you force yourself to hold on.

"Just tell me…" - You say, holding back tears. He looks at you, letting go of your cheeks. Then he touches your face gently, almost weightlessly, with his fingers. You resist, but he holds you back by pulling your hair, reminding you that you are in his hands.

"You're so beautiful, Candy. Have I ever told you that?" - He asks, his gaze locked on your eyes. You look at him angrily, no you look at him with eyes full of hate.

"I don't need your compliments." - You say, your voice trembling with hatred. Doohoon laughs. He looks at you for a second longer before suddenly letting go. You can feel the pain where his nails dug into your skin. But you don't lower your head.

"You talk too much." - He sighs, as if tired of your disobedience. Then he tilts his head to the side and changes his tone. "Sleeping pills. That's all." - You don't believe him.

"You mean it won't harm the baby?" - He presses his lips together as if thinking, before answering calmly.

"Why would I lie?" - He asks, putting his hands in his pockets. You look at his figure towering over you. Your hands clench into fists.

"Because you're an asshole." - You say through gritted teeth. He laughs. The sound makes you feel even worse.

"You're so outspoken, Candy. That's one of the things I hate about you." - He admits.

"Why am I here?" - You abruptly change the subject because you can't take the tension anymore. He doesn't answer. He hurls at you an irritating view. Doohoon decides that you have nothing more to talk about and walks away without answering you. "Hey, are you deaf? Where are you going?" - You try to get out of bed and chase him, but he's out the door. When you get to the door, it is already locked. You beat on the door with your hands, screaming, calling out to him, but to no avail. You slide down by the door, sitting on the cold floor and crying.

You sit on the cold floor, clutching your knees with your hands, and tears roll down your cheeks one by one. They are hot, stinging, but you do not wipe them away.

You are desperate. You don't even try to hide it - who needs it? You sob, biting your lip to calm yourself down a little. Everything is so bad that you don't even know how to cope with it. Why you? Why do you have to go through this?

His face pops into my head. Jungkook.

His deep dark eyes that always looked at you with such passion and care. His strong arms that hugged you as if they could protect you from the whole world. His voice full of tenderness when he called you by your favorite nickname...

"Jungkook..." - You whisper it barely audibly, as if this word could make him come here. But the silence in the room only proves once again that he is not here. That he doesn't even know where you are.

Pain rips through your chest. You clench your hands, your nails digging into your skin, trying not to cry even harder. But you can't stop yourself. And then your hand, almost instinctively, falls back on your stomach.

You inhale sharply. A baby. Your baby. You're not alone. You close your eyes slowly, forcing yourself to breathe more evenly.

For her... or him. For your baby's sake, you can't let yourself fall apart now.

A chill courses through your body, forcing you to finally lift your head. You take another breath, swallowing back tears, and finally force yourself to stand up. One step at a time. With your palms resting on the floor until you feel your body finally lift. You go back to the bed and slowly sit on the edge.

You're shaking, but you try to focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Don't be nervous. Don't think about the worst.

You throw your head back, looking at the ceiling. But instead of a white canvas, you see him again. You remember his warm embrace. His chest, which you pressed against and felt so warm. His hands that touched you so gently.

You bite your lip, trying to push it out of your mind. But your heart feels like it's going crazy with pain.

"Jungkook..." - His name escapes your lips again, like a mantra. You want to be in his arms. You want to feel his warmth. You want him to be with you now... But he's not here. Only you are. And the darkness, which seems to be getting denser by the minute.

You climbed onto the bed, wrapping yourself in your coat. It was dirty, covered in dust. You sat staring at one point and didn't know what to do. You didn't know how much time has passed. An hour, two hours... you completely lost track of it. Your head hurt from crying and stress. Suddenly you heard footsteps again. Doohoon was coming toward you.

You tensed up against your will. How you wanted him to disappear to forever.

He enters the room and you notice that the light is on in the corridor. A strip of light makes its way into the room where you are sitting. Doohoon finds you sitting on the bed and flips the switch.

A bright light fills the room, and you put your hands over your crying face, you can't see the light because you're used to the darkness.

Doohoon goes inside and closes the door. The smell of ramen reaches your nose. You take your hands away from your face and see him putting a box of ramen and a corndog on a chair. He pulls the chair with the food closer to you.

You looked at the steam coming off the ramen, the smell of the seasonings should have awakened your appetite, but you didn't. You looked up at Doohoon, who took another chair and sat down next to you.

"You need to eat." - He said coldly. There was no trace of the softness in his voice that he usually showed you.

"I'm not hungry." - You said, looking away. You turned your face the other way so you wouldn't have to look at Doohoon, who you hated.

He presses his lips together, your words irritating him, but he doesn't say anything. He just pushes the food even closer, as if that will make you change your mind.

"Eat." - His voice is sharp, without any warmth.

"I said I don't want any." - You stubbornly turn away even more. Doohoon exhales, as if he's trying not to get angry.

"It's not up for discussion." - His voice becomes lower, more threatening. "You need to eat. You can't get weak."

"I don't care what you think." - You say colorlessly. You hear him smile.

"What? You decided to torture yourself? You've want to starve yourself until Junguk comes for you?" - Doohoon asks. You turn your head sharply toward him.

"It won't take him long to come get you!" - You say in exasperation. His eyes flash with curiosity. Doohoon gets up and walks over to the bed. He sits down in front of your legs tucked under your arms. You keep your eyes on him, as if preparing to defend yourself.

"You do realize he's not coming, Candy." - His voice is almost gentle, but there is only coldness in his eyes. You hate it when he calls you that. You hate the fake calmness in his voice. You hate the arrogant expression on his face as he looks at you now.

"He's coming." - You clench your teeth stubbornly. Doohoon laughs softly.

"He doesn’t care about you." - His next words make you freeze. "Jungkook won’t be getting out of that hole I drove him into anytime soon." - You blink. What? What has he done again?

"What did you…?" - You say quietly. He smiles contentedly.

"I made sure he wasn’t a problem anymore." - Doohoon replies. Your stomach clenches in horror.

"What are you talking about?!" - Your voice trembles. Did he hurt Jungkook again? He’s been everywhere. What kind of person is he?

Doohoon catches your gaze relaxed, enjoying your reaction.

"I set him up so that it would cost him his life." - He says.

"No…" - You whisper.

"Yes. And I tried to make it look very… convincing. It was easy to make him a traitor." - He says it lightly, as if it’s not a human life.

"Do you know Namjoon personally? If not, I can safely say that everyone who betrayed him is long since resting at the bottom of the Han River." - He says with a wide smile. He sits down closer and you tense up even more.

"No..." - You repeat again, not believing his words. And now you realize that this is the case Namjoon was talking about. The arms trade connected to the Black Pearl is the work of Doohoon.

"So I don't think you should go hungry. You should eat and think for yourself." - You were silent. You are breathing heavily, and you are filled with anger. For the fact that Doohoon can't accept Jungkook's existence. For not realizing that you hate him and that you will never reciprocate. For not being able to stop himself in time and making it all go crazy. Doohoon reaches for the box of ramen and hands it to you. You look at the food and then push it with your hand. All the ramen flies to the floor.

Doohoon sees what you did and his patience is over. He stands up and grabs you sharply. Doohoon squeezes your wrist so hard that you scream. His face is distorted with rage, his eyes dark as a bottomless pit.

"You're unbearable, you know that?" - His voice is husky, threatening. He pulls you sharply toward him, forcing you to rest your arms against his chest to keep your distance. You hit him, try to break free, but his grip only tightens.

"Let go of me!" - You scream, wriggling, but he doesn't even blink.

"Stop playing around. You're mine, and it's time to accept it." - He says. He leans closer, his breath burning hot on your skin. His fingers grip your jaw roughly, forcing you to look into his eyes. His other hand goes around your waist, trying to hold you close. Panic flares up in you even more.

You try to pull away, but in vain. In a moment, you find yourself on the bed, pinned down by his body. You look at him with eyes full of horror. If he does this to you, you just won't survive it.

He tries to kiss you, but you turn your head away, and then you feel his lips on your neck. The adrenaline in your blood is going through the roof. You start to resist even more, screaming. His breathing is hot and ragged, and his grip is iron. You pull with all your might, but he doesn't even move.

"Don't touch me! Stop it!" - You scream, your voice trembling with panic. - "Doohoon, don't you dare!"

He just smiles wryly, his fingers clenching your jaw ruthlessly, not allowing you to turn away.

"There's no need to provoke me, Candy." - He speaks in a low tone, his voice laced with irritation and morbid desire.

You can't breathe. He's too close. His weight is overwhelming, squeezing your chest, leaving no room for resistance. But you are not going to give up. He tries to get through your clothes and you're glad you have a coat on.

"Let me go, or else..." - Your voice breaks, but you force yourself to continue. "If you... if you do that, I'll kill myself!" - Doohoon freezes. His eyes darken even more, and this time there is something new in them - anxiety. He looks at you, his breathing steadies, and his fingers weaken. He is breathing heavily, just like you. You are painfully disgusted with him lying on top of you. He looks at your face for a moment longer, then lets you go and sits on the edge of the bed. He runs his hands over his face.

You can only hear his heavy breathing in the room. You climb further up on the bed, farther away from Doohoon. He turns to you, seeing your frightened look.

"You prefer death to being with me?" - He asks, more disappointed than angry. You look up at him, frightened, exhausted, and broken. Hot tears flow down your face from your shock. You hadn't eaten properly for two days and didn't sleep well, and you didn't have the strength to fight him because he is a healthy, strong man. Even if you knew some taekwondo moves, you couldn't use them, you just don't have the physical strength.

You are silent, scared to death. Doohoon approaches again, but he doesn't get too close. Your eyes are pure fear.

"Candy, you'll be mine willingly. You'll see, I'm much better than that bastard. We'll be happy together, you just have to accept me." - He looks at you, and you don't say anything, still crying. He curses, exhaling heavily. "I'll prove to you that you won't be disappointed in me. Just give me a chance." - He says desperately. You shiver from the old age and the cold.

"I'd rather die than be with you." - You say, determination in your voice. "You are a sick bastard who attacked a pregnant woman and kidnapped her." - You say, finally trampling on Doohoon’s hopes of having any kind of relationship with you. His eyes express anger. He raises his eyebrows and looks at you for a long time. Then he stands up abruptly. He turns to you and his voice is colder than the weather outside.

"I told you that you are mine. Whether you like it or not." - He pushed his foot away the chair with the cold corndog still on it. "Jungkook will not find you, and we will leave here very soon. To a place where no one will know you or me. And of course , I won't let you carry his child." - You freeze. It's like you're paralyzed.

"What...?" - You whisper unconsciously.

"Do you think I'm going to let you have of his child in you?" - His face distorts with anger. "I'll take it away, just like everything else."

You clutch your stomach, as if that could somehow protect your child.

"You won't do that..." - You say, shaking your head.

"I've already decided." - His voice is cold. "Jungkook is dead. And his child shouldn't live." - You clench your jaw, feeling the hot tears running down your cheeks in a thin ribbon along the route you've already laid out.

"If you ever hurt my child, I swear with everything I have, I will kill you." - You threatened. And you were one hundred percent sure of your words. You would never have thought of saying such words before, not even in your mind, let alone felt that you could do it.

Doohoon doesn't answer. He turns around and leaves the room, locking it.

The morning greets you with a coldness that penetrates to the bone. You sit with your arms wrapped around yourself, trying to keep warm. Your eyelids are heavy from a sleepless night, but you don't even think about closing your eyes. You can't. Everything is too quiet in this room, and every rustle seems as loud as thunder.

You don't know what time it is, but the sun has already risen high enough that a gray, dim light is shining through the bars of the window. It makes this room even more depressing - the walls seem even dirtier, the ceiling even lower, and your helplessness even more bitter.

You got up several times to stretch your muscles. You went to the window to study the area. There were bars on the window. You tried several times to loosen them, but to no avail. You couldn't make much noise so as not to attract attention. After trying for the third time, you gave up. You closed the window because the room was already cold.

You went to the door and listened. Doohoon's quiet voice was coming from behind the door. You could hear his words broken off: "at the company," "I got rid of phone," "the situation." The only thing you could understand from what you heard was that Doohoon had got rid of phone, but which phone was he talking about? Was it yours or his?

You listened again, but there was silence. You stood at the door, listening intently, but it was still quiet. You exhaled heavily. Your stomach growls, and you are hungry. You glance at the ramen scattered on the floor, and then at the cordon lying on the chair next to the bed. You turn away and go to the bed.

You lie down facing away from the door, curled up in a fetal position to keep warm. You close your eyes and feel terribly tired. You lie there wondering how to escape, what to do next. Is Jungkook looking for you? He should know by now that you are gone.

Your chest is pierced with pain, he is definitely looking for you. Namjoon didn't kill him. He couldn't have. He would've definitely looked into whether Jungkook could've betrayed him first. You think that would have been the case. But what if he didn't? Your blood runs cold at the thought that Jungkook could have been killed. You quickly push away the horrible thoughts that you shouldn't get yourself worked up.

You almost doze off. A cold, unpleasant dream was beginning to envelop you when suddenly you heard a loud bang. You sat up sharply on the bed, frightened. It felt like someone smashed a chair against the wall.

"FUCK! WHY THE FUCK IS THAT BASTARD STILL ALIVE!!!" - You hear Doohoon's furious voice. Your heart is pounding in your chest in a frantic rhythm. He's alive. Jungkook is alive. And he's looking for you. You run to the door, listening to what's going on behind it. "I PAID YOU MONEY TO DO THE RIGHT THING! LISTEN, YOU DUMBASS, IF I GET TO YOU, AND I WILL, YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T DO IT RIGHT." - Doohoon is shouting somewhere in the next room and you can hear him clearly. He stops talking and you listen intently to the silence without even breathing. "Is he coming here?" - You can barely hear. A smile touches your lips. Your heart is racing. Jungkook is coming to get you.

But you cannot rejoice for long. You hear quick footsteps and run to bed. You barely have time to lie down on it, turning away, when the door opens. They swing open with such force that they kick up dust in a shock wave. You turn your head. Doohoon bursts into the room, his face contorted with anger, his eyes full of madness.

"Get up!" - He barks. He walks toward you and you notice a rope in his hands. You don't move. "I said get up!" - He shouts again. You look down at the ropes and notice on his wristwatch that it is 7 am.

He grabs your arm, pulling you to the edge of the bed. Before you can resist, he deftly throws the rope and ties your wrists together. Tightly. So hard that you can barely hold back a moan of pain.

"What are you doing?!" - You struggle, but it's no use. He ties you up. Your hands are tied behind your back, in a tight knot, binding them very tightly.

"We're leaving." - His voice is cold. He pushes you toward the door, forcing you to walk ahead. A few minutes later, you find yourself at the car. Doohoon opens the back door and then shoves you inside with a sudden movement. "Don't think about anything stupid." - He warns you. "I'm not an idiot to give you a chance to be free."

He drive for a long time. You don't know exactly how much time has passed. The windows are darkened, and your hands are cramping from the rough rope. You are worried that he has taken you too far. But Jungkook will definitely be able to find you, you are one hundred percent sure. You are sure that his friends from Ran Noir are helping him. They must be helping him.

When the car finally stops, Doohoon pulls you out and leads you inside a building. It's a small motel. The lamps on its sign have long since burned out, and old yellow light bulbs glow dimly in the corridors. It's almost at the end of its life.

"Be quiet." - He orders, stopping you at the threshold. "If you make a sound, you'll regret it."

You walk into a horrible lobby. An old man sits at the reception desk. He looks at you indifferently. Doohoon doesn't even try to hide your tied-up position. His hand squeezes your shoulder so hard that you're sure it will bruise.

"We need a number." - He says sharply, throwing a money on the countere. The old man looks at you lazily, then shrugs and holds out a key.

"Second floor, end of the corridor." - He answers, grabbing the money and starting to count it. You raise your eyebrows in surprise. This old man doesn't seem to care that you are tied up and dirty. Maybe he sees pictures like this every day, or maybe the earnings in this motel are so meager that he doesn't neglect any earnings.

Doohoon pulls you sharply behind him, forcing you to hurry up the stairs. The door closes with a loud click. The room is filled with the musty smell of dampness and dust. The gray curtain is barely hanging on the curtain rod, and there are dark spots on the ceiling.

"Sit down." - He orders, pushing you toward the old sofa. You don't argue. There is no point in it. You just look up at him, not hiding your anger.

"What are you going to do now? Are you going to sit here and watch me until your plan falls apart?" - You ask. The hope that Jungkook will find you soon gives you strength.

"Shut your mouth!" - He growls. "Don't try my patience!" - He warns. You shut up, thinking it's the right thing to do.

Doohoon doesn't sit down. He walks nervously around the room, clutching his phone in his hand. You realize he's nervous.

A few minutes later his phone rings. Doohoon answers it almost immediately.

"Yes!" - His voice is tense. You stare at his face, trying to understand what's going on. But it's not him who gives you the answer.

"Doohoon, I just found out that they've tracked you down. I saw that Jin is monitoring the roads from Seoul to Osan and Cheonan." - The voice on the phone is clear enough. You hold your breath. Ran Noir is looking for you, along with Jungkook. All you have to do is hold out until they find you.

"Damn shit!" - Doohoon curses. "DO SOMETHING! Turn off the lights, turn off the internet. Do something to buy me some time!" - He yells, ordering.

"Yes, Doohoon, I'll do anything for y..." - Suddenly the sound in the phone changes. It's screaming. The man on the other end seems to be choking on his own words.

"What the...?!" - Doohoon doesn't understand what happened. He hears the rustling and screaming. "Hey Insoo, what's wrong?" - Doohoon waits for an answer. You strain your ears. And you hear someone answering.

"Hello, honey." - You hear a familiar voice, but you can't remember who it belongs to. "Hey Doohoon, I think you're in big-big shit." - You catch the jovial tone and realize it must be Jin.

"Fuck!" - Doohoon throws the phone against the wall with all his might. You duck as the phone goes straight over your head. It shatters, falling into pieces. You realize only now that it was not his phone. He was using an iPhone, and the broken phone, the pieces of which are lying not far from your feet, is a Samsung. You don't have time to say anything. He abruptly grabs you, forcing you to stand up.

Doohoon drags you outside. He opens the car and pulls you into the trunk. Once you're in it, panic immediately clamps down on your throat. There is not enough air. There's not enough space. Your head is pounding, but you try not to panic.

You don't know how much time is passing. You were counting the minutes, but then you lost track. You were also ready to remember whether he turned, whether he turned on his turn signals, whether he stopped at a traffic light. But it was useless. You drove straight the whole time, not stopping anywhere.

When the car finally stops, Doohoon pulls you again. Your whole body hurts and you are exhausted to the max. The building he brings you to looks like it should have collapsed long ago. You inhale the dust and metallic flavor. An aluminum factory or something like that?

Doohoon drags you up the stairs, which sway under the weight of his steps. He sits you down on the floor. And he looks nervously out the window, which looks like it leads to the road. You see him reach into the waistband of his pants and pull out a gun. You freeze in horror.

He twirls the gun in his hands as if thinking about something, and then abruptly puts it down on the windowsill, sighing heavily. The room is in tense silence, broken only by the sound of the wind seeping through the cracks in the walls.

You clench your fists, feeling the ropes cut into your wrists. Your heart is pounding furiously.

"Why did you do all this? What have you achieved?" - You ask, your voice hoarse with fatigue. Doohoon doesn't even turn his head.

"You should have been mine from the beginning." - His voice trembles with anger. "He stole you from me, shamelessly, when I told him I liked you." - He turns to you, and his eyes are fierce. "You chose a scumbag. You chose him!" - Doohoon takes a step closer, and you instinctively move away. "And I... I loved you all my life!" - You shudder at his words.

"Love?" - You laugh bitterly. "Is this love? Kidnapping, violence, threats?" - He clenches his jaws, his eyes full of hatred.

"I could have given you everything... You ran to him. To an arrogant, narcissistic bastard who fucked everything that moved! And you took him when he was sated enough." - You look up at him sharply.

"You think you can hurt me with that? Do you think I don't know that?" - You ask. Doohoon grinds his teeth.

"You know…" - He said with venom in his voice. "So that means you just another one on his list. Another Jungkook’s whore!" - Doohoon says roughly and approaches you.

"And you're just another pathetic loser who can't accept the fact that he's been rejected!" - You reply with no less rudeness. His fist clenches. And a moment later you feel a sharp pain as his palm comes down on your cheek with all its strength. Your head falls to the side, your ears ring.

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" - Doohoon screaming. You accidentally bite your lip, not expecting a blow, and it starts to bleed. You remain silent, licking your lips, the taste of blood flooding your mouth. "I'll wait for him here." - Doohoon says, grabbing your hair. He tilts your head back and looks right into your eyes. "And this time it really will be over." - He pulls your head back and walks away.

You are left alone. Your chest heaves painfully with deep breathing. Tears are in your eyes, but you don't let them escape.

And suddenly... A barely audible rustle. You raise your head sharply. And you meet his eyes.

Jungkook.

↰ Previous chapter ⋮ ≣ Index ↓ ⋮ Next chapter ↱

[serpentface]

What do Brakul and Janeys see in each other?

(I wrote some of this in quasi-character voice/pov on impulse (in brackets), though don't take it as actual dialogue. They wouldn't outright say most of this.)

WHAT JANEYS SEES IN BRAKUL:

-[He is just objectively beautiful. There's no way around it, this is just a material fact. He has the prettiest brown eyes and a cute gap in his teeth and he's 6'2'' and he's big and strong and hairy and well endowed (balls) and sooo virile and 6'2''. This is the ideal male body at peak performance so it's just inevitable to be wildly, painfully attracted to it. There's probably tons of other people who want to shove their face into his armpits.]

[But they don't get to.]

-Janeys is significantly more at ease with him than almost anyone else. He doesn't feel such an acute need to posture and put on performances, or as devastating shame when the performance 'fails'. The psychological factors that motivate this to begin with don't just like, magically go away, but they're much less acute. He feels like he can just Exist around him. It's nice.

-Thinks he's a really funny, smart and interesting person general. Very pleasant to talk and amicably argue with. Janeys finds a lot of things he never would have given a shit about suddenly very interesting because it's coming from him. Like 'yeah he's not EDUCATED per se but he has a fascinating repository of knowledge about like, cheesemaking and birds and freakish snow vampires and the many nuances of highland seasonal transhumance.'

-Janeys sees a lot of things in Brakul that he finds lacking in himself, and experiences a sense of being more complete, better, stronger, via this partnership (somewhat literally, sharing blood Is sharing spirit). He feels genuinely more confident around him, not just in his typical "I'm Confident that my family name and Odonii bloodkin status can force some deference out of you" way but like legit confidence. Not the healthiest way to develop self esteem and not put to the best uses but it is what it is.

-Matches his freak and exceeds it in strange and compelling ways

-Meshes Fairly well with his clingy attachment style (it causes friction sometimes though) and meets his substantial needs for physical affection and casual intimacy (at least in private).

-[He's a really, really, really good kisser]

-[He is my closest and most trusted friend, my brother. He's like how the most florid love poets describe their wives, except if a wife was a man and wasn't someone you had to marry. No one has ever loved a man like I have. No one has shared a spirit like I have. The concept of life without him is no longer imaginable, he is carved into my very skin, he's in my veins, mouth, hands. He is my natural compliment and easiest companion. My beloved, my heart, my blood, my other face.]

-[He's 6'2'']

---

WHAT BRAKUL SEES IN JANEYS:

-[He's very good looking, in kind of a subtle way. Like you don't necessarily notice at first, but he's got this sort of... sturdy yet gracile handsomeness to him? Like a deer, or a small to mid-sized bird of prey. Except attractive and a man. Very attractive. He has such a nice smile and the most gorgeous legs, and a cute little trail of hair up his stomach. Nice hands. And feet. Sturdy. Lovely hair. His eyes are just kind of scary but, otherwise.]

-[He's actually soooo nice when you get to know him. He is one of the sweetest and most caring people I've ever met, actually.]

[Sure he's kind of an asshole. To most people. On most occasions. But have you considered that THEIR vibes are, very often, simply bad and offputting, and maybe it's sometimes their faults for being irritating? Yeah. Think a little.]

-Brakul distinctly likes being one of few people Janeys likes and one of much fewer that he actually chills out around. He likes that he gets to see sides of him that are almost completely reserved for himself. He feels special.

-Overall sees him as someone who is often difficult and frustrating but ultimately deeply lovable. He finds him to be very caring, admirably loyal, genuine, and funny. Good to talk to, and good to sit in comfortable silence with. He sees him as a very different person but someone who compliments him well. Natural choice of companion.

-Has a generally realistic outlook on Janeys' abilities but considers him to be more capable than most people think and fairly talented in some respects. He would note him as skilled with the spear, pretty decent with the lyre, a good dancer and very beautiful singer.

-He absolutely likes that one of Janeys' 'love languages' is giving him gifts. He loves being the spoiled male wife of a nobleman. He was made for this shit. The gift-giving on Janeys' part initially made him nervous (on the presumption that it was indebting or otherwise transactional) but he is LONG since over it.

[Everyone was always saying, "Brakul you're kinda lazy and annoying, you lost all your mother's cattle in a really pathetic way, you strained the alliances between multiple clans to a breaking point by being a fuckup, you abandoned your firstborn," etc etc but look at me now. I'm so loved and I have 200 cattle and 12 khait and eat meat every day of my life.]

-Doesn't Fully match his freak, but does where it matters most. Sub/switch masochist for a dom/switch sadomasochist. Peace and love.

-Easily flustered in a way he finds cute/hot.

-Really likes his intense and earnest enthusiasm for physical affection/intimacy. The other people Brakul has had romantic/sexual experiences with in the past have been substantially less touchy-feely, and he prefers being able to show affection this way. Expressing this shit verbally can be difficult (with or without having to translate), it always feels a little insufficient. Lengthy and complicated sessions of making out/cutting each other/blood consumption/frotting/doing weird shit with cum/still vaguely sexual wound cleaning with vinegar/cuddling/etc have turned out to feel like a more comprehensive form of romantic expression. And not a lot of people are into that kinda thing, so this is pretty special.

-[He makes me happy. Sometimes I'll look at him while he's asleep or just sitting next to me or whatever, and still get hit with that new love, 'I'm going to throw up but in a good way' feeling, even after all this time. I'm glad to have found him. I'm glad to share my life with him. I'm glad we belong to each other. I've never found an adequate describe it, 'brother' is easy but completely wrong. It just is what it is. I love him.]

-[He does some crazy shit with his mouth]

[kaivenom]

May I request OP DILF with a reader who likes to ride them or who can be more dominant at times

The OP Dilfs with a dominant!reader that likes to ride them

Characters: Doflamingo, Mihawk, Crocodile, Smoker, Shanks

Warnings: sex (obviously)

Masterlist

Dracule Mihawk

Even though he accepted to let you be on top and ride him, it still looks like he has the power.

He has too much dom energy going on, so you decided to also tie him up with some rope and handcuffs (shibari style).

That made things a little easier, but still his eyes looked like you were about to melt.

It's nearly impossible to surpass this men on domination.

Luckily, when he closed his eyes and started humping the air, searching for contact and groaning a little, then you started to feel better about yourself.

One thing that he will never say out loud is that he may have dramatized a little his behaviour to make you feel better about it, he knows his appearance can be a little to intimidating sometimes.

Donquixote Doflamingo

If you want to be dominant and ride him, you will have to fight him for it.

Since he is really big, you know you can't win, but you can still try.

He will keep in mind your efforts and then evaluate if you are ready to thake the charge or not.

The experience is curious cause he is big and you take your time but he also is impatient and tries to speed things up.

Since he isn't used to being under someone's orders, he has a hard time trying not to buck his hips into you.

His ego is giving him a bad pass so he tries to humilliate you with some dirty comments but at the end he is the one trying to hold back and not whimper.

Sr. Crocodile

Another one that looks difficult to be dominant with, he is just too much confident and serious.

He makes you earn it, fight with him (psychologically, of course) for the right to dominate him.

Since he is a lot bigger than you, you feel at disvantage to these type of things.

Even his attempt of being nice and help you sounded like a dominant order.

Trying to get the strings of the situation and made him be on the vulnerable side this time, you went to his office for a booty call.

He became so nervous and restless that for surely you will pull out this move everytime you want to take control.

Smoker

He is a bubbling mess.

He said that it isn't manly that you take control, then you caught him with his guard down and suddently he is whining and suplicating you to continue.

He turns into the most subby - miserable - moaning/whimpering men ever.

And you are more than ready to indulge him in that.

If you stop moving, he would surely pray for you to start moving, grabbing your legs and trying to gain some power over you.

You discovered a new world to him, even though he doesnt wanna admit it, you made him go crazy and he is going to indulge in this more often.

Akagami Shanks

Really easy to convince him.

But he is really playfull so he can pull a rolling movement mid-fuck where he puts you on top or he gets back to top.

You have to be prepared when you are riding him just so you can stop him from rolling you both to change positions.

He really loves having you on top and restraining him, giving him orders of where he can touch and where he can't.

He just lives to see your tits bouncing next to his mouth and be able to feel all you weight on top of him.

He gets so loud that you have to cover his mouth with your hands or a rag cause he becomes a moaning mess.

[random-guy01]

1 - Engineering, because with a engineering degree it's easier to find a good paying job. And I like math and physics 2 - Noodles and japanese food. Italian food comes as a close second 3 - I don't have a favorite color, but I usually prefer colder colors 4 - Cold person, but extremely warm and clingy if I open myself up 5 - Not currently, though I used to play soccer, as most brazilian kids did 6 - Don't really have a favorite tbh 7 - The myth of Sisyphus, helped me think about life and how to deal with it. I'm not an avid reader tbh 8 - I prefer horror movies, specially psychological horror. But I don't really have a favorite 9 - Maybe Saw 10 - DC, I prefer their animated movies and series rather than Marvel movies. 11 - Plastic Memories and Clannad. I love romance and slice of life anime, and those two had a really big impact on me in a bunch of different ways. 12 - I can't think of any crazy memories on the fly 14 - Castles of burgndy or Texas hold 'em poker 15 - Factorio, TFT or minecraft modded. 16 - Napping, sleeping is great, specially in a cold and cozy room. I also like programming 17 - Currently tidy, 50/50 tidy/messy 18 - Lethargic 19 - Pretty average, nothing interesting/unique happened, which I think it's great. I prefer "slow" days 20 - Brazil, I'm not sure what I specifically like about it, but it's not like I also hate it either 21 - House MD, it's interesting, it's thought-provoking, it has good drama and helped me learn about somethings about myself and life (emotionally, not medically lol) 22 - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Kj7xfu8p5O7uV8V5aSEEH?si=6e83252fe9ba4a70 25 - Yes, Troy. The cutest pomeranian ever 26 - Six. But 99% of the time I use the same pair of shoes. I don't have a specific brand I like the most, but I prefer shoes that don't require me to wear socks 27 - Just a pajama shorts, since I'm at home 28 - Sunny and way too hot. I prefer cold weather, specially since when it's too warm I sweat a lot 29 - Math/physics, It's usually a simple, and often elegant, way to describe reality and some interesting concepts. 30 - Portuguese/Language - I'm simply not good at it lol 33 - I think so 34 - No 35 - No 42 - Freefaller, I'm somewhat of a heavysleeper. I don't snore, I rarely mumble random nonesense during my sleep though (it was a lot more frequent during my childhood) 43 - I don't really have a specific type that is my favorite. I usually prefer slower/more chills songs tho 44 - Les Miserables, I just really liked the movie and that made me watch the musical and I liked it. Specially Philip Quast Javert. I'm not really a musical guy tho 48 - 183cm, 76kg, white, black eyes, fluffy black hair, a bit hairy (specially the arms and legs and ass), small teeth and sharp cuspids, large hand with thin fingers and inward belly button 49 - no 51 - Probably, since i'm not a native english speaker 52 - No friends, I'm quite asocial 53 - I don't really love 2D characters, I don't really have a "waifu" 54 - Not much tbh

~•Voice Asks•~

What do you study and why?

Favourite meal?

Favourite colour and why?

Are you a cold or a warm person?

Do you play sports? If so, what sport and how long have you been playing it?

Favourite Kids TV show?

Favourite book series and/or just singular book and why?

Favourite film?

Favourite film SERIES?

Marvel or DC? And why?

Favourite Animes? And why?

Talk about a crazy memory you have? (can be asked multiple times)

Talk about a fond memory you have with a certain person (can be asked multiple times and with different people)

Favourite board game?

Favourite video game?

Talk about something you love to do

Is your room currently messy or tidy? And are you generally more messy or tidy?

Current mood

Talk about your day

What country are you from and what is one thing you love about it?

Favourite TV show and why?

Put your playlist on shuffle and attempt to sing the first song…

Sing [insert song here]

Rap something of your choice

Have any pets? Talk about them if you do…

How many pairs of shoes do you own? Do you have a specific style/brand you love to wear?

Describe your current outfit

Describe the current weather

Talk about your favourite subject at school?

Talk about your least favourite subject at school?

Attempt to sing a song you used to sing in school/choir?

Top 5… [insert something here]

Are you good with money? If not what do you spend it on/what's your weakness?

Do you have any posters/pictures up in your room?

Do you have a hidden snack draw? If so, what's in it?

What's the best gift you have ever received?

What's the best gift you have ever given?

Have you ever been to a concert?

What's the thickest book you own and what's it about?

Grab the closest book, turn to page 58 and read the 5th sentence…

Write a letter to the person who sent this ask and read it out loud

What's your sleeping position? And are you a heavy sleeper? Do you snore?

What's your music taste? Any factors as to why you fell in love with that type of music?

Favourite Musical and why?

Talk about your favourite haikyuu character!

Talk about your other favourite anime characters that aren’t Haikyuu!

Sing a song from your favourite musical

Describe your appearance

Do you collect anything? If so, talk about it!

Say a quote of the person askings choice

Talk about your accent! Do you personally think it's strong etc?

What do your friends think about you writing on tumblr?

What do your friends think about your love for 2D characters? (if you have one lmao)

How have you changed over the past 5 years?

Any weird confession stories

Any anime characters you hate?

Describe the people closest to you? (closest as in like friends not like… the person sat next to you lmao)

You played among us? If so what colour is your go to and which hat?

Read a line from one of your wip’s

Read [insert famous film quote here]

FREE SLOT?! Ask me to say anything you want, answer anything you can come up with and sing/rap anything you want me to!!!!

[interact-if]

Our fifth edition of the Black History Month Author Spotlight series, features Mila (@milaswriting)!

(Mila’s game Golden is one of the games I fell in love with when I first got into Interactive Fiction, and it feels like such a dream to be able to interview her now! It’s so interesting to interview someone who’s been in the IF community for a while now, and see how stories—and their authors—change and evolve as time goes by too.)

Author: Mila

Hello! I’m Mila, a twenty-three year old woman from the UK. Something readers may not know (or probably do considering how much I complain about university), I crave academic validation. I got 90% on an essay I did this year and I was so proud of myself that I’m considering doing a PhD. We’ll see if Dr Mila ever becomes a thing, haha.

Games: Golden (Fantasy, romance, mystery, supernatural)

Short blurb: You work for The Everbrook. A multi-agency organisation in the city of Lehsa that bridges the gap between the human and supernatural world. You’ve been working there for three years now, and you’re suddenly forced to work with a group of allies to solve mysteries that have landed right in the palm of your hand.

Quote from the interview

I wish I could say I’ve had amazing encounters with vampires, magical beings and werewolves to inspire Golden—but that isn’t exactly the case. I’ll let you know if that ever happens though! I’ve always been a bit of a bookworm, more so as a young adult than when I was much younger, but usually the portrayal of poc characters in media wasn’t always shown in a positive light. Or poc characters, when it came to romance, weren’t given the lead roles where a swoon-worthy romance story was played out. To, sort of right those wrongs, and have other black readers like myself, be able to see themselves in the characters of stories—I created a diverse cast of ROs.

Read on for the full interview!

Can you tell me a bit about what you’re working on right now and your journey into interactive fiction? What inspired the game/story you’re currently writing?

I’m currently working on a fantasy supernatural interactive fiction, Golden. Officially, Golden is five years old now. I released it in December 2020 and was regularly writing and working on it for a couple of years. And then I noticed that as I grew from an eighteen/nineteen year old teenager, the ideas I had for my story were different, thus I wanted to make a few changes. A few changes turned into a lot of changes. And now I’m in the process of a whole rewrite, alongside moving to Twine. 

Covid was in 2020, and that’s ultimately the year I got into reading interactive fiction too. I first read fanfics of an interactive fiction game, then read the original story itself, and got really into the process of the reader being able to make meaningful choices that impact their reading experience. That was a supernatural story too, and that’s how I ended up creating my own. 

When it comes to the changes I’ve made to Golden, the inspiration came from a lot of things. One being my love for mystery, crime and psychology—I wanted that incorporated into the story I’m writing. I love the element of lore and world building, so that’s how I knew the fantasy/supernatural element would be in there. Additionally, my love for found family and complex characters also inspired me to write this story, but to also make the changes I have. Lastly, I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, I adore the stuff! So reading and writing good romance is everything to me. 

How has your identity, heritage/background, upbringing, or personal experiences influenced your storytelling or writing process? OR How does your work feature aspects of your identity / experience?

I wish I could say I’ve had amazing encounters with vampires, magical beings and werewolves to inspire Golden—but that isn’t exactly the case. I’ll let you know if that ever happens though! I’ve always been a bit of a bookworm, more so as a young adult than when I was much younger, but usually the portrayal of poc characters in media wasn’t always shown in a positive light. Or poc characters, when it came to romance, weren’t given the lead roles where a swoon-worthy romance story was played out. To, sort of right those wrongs, and have other black readers like myself, be able to see themselves in the characters of stories—I created a diverse cast of ROs.

B Holden was the first one I created. I already knew they were going to be a werewolf, and I wanted them as a character to be the complete opposite of how a werewolf is usually described and portrayed. Aggressive, animalistic, dangerous—yet, I’d like to think that B is, and comes off as, someone who is the sunshine that lights up a room, someone who’d make you feel good on a bad day, a kind of person you’ll always want around. From my own personal experiences, I’m a nursing student and I’ll be graduating this year and going into a working environment. I think the changes to Golden emulate that, instead of being a student, the MC is navigating the supernatural world themselves and they’re very immersed into it.

What does your writing process look like? Any rituals or habits? Any tips, tricks, philosophies or approaches that have worked very well for you?

Oh! So, the background is that I love The Naturals series and The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes, and I got to meet her at a book event in my hometown. And during her talk, she said that she writes with a ‘Writer’s Hit List’. On that list, the writer jots down all of their favourite things that they love about characters, or elements they want their story to have. It’s a bit like a word dump, for example, ‘loves characters that enjoys baked goods’ or ‘loves when character speaks multiple languages’. 

Then you end up with a super long list of traits you’d like to give your characters or factors you want your world to have. And you can get your inspiration from literally anything, so that’s something fun to have. You can add to it when you’re not thinking about writing, and then when you have writer’s block, or just want some inspiration, you can open your notes app and see what you wrote down.

Currently, whilst juggling uni and personal life, on my days off/working from home, when I get a burst of inspiration I usually open up my laptop and write in my bedroom or the living room. And whilst writing, I put on ROs’ playlists that I’ve made on Spotify. My new RO, Ireland Monroe, their playlist has been extremely helpful in motivating me to write.

What’re you excited to tackle/implement/work on next? Or anything you’re looking forward to in the year ahead?

I’m excited about getting this rewrite out! I’ve felt really guilty about keeping readers waiting so long for content from me, or just disappointed in myself that I haven’t been able to produce content as quickly as other authors. I know it’s a terrible thing to compare yourself to others, but sometimes it’s one of those things you can’t help. We’re into February now and I genuinely think that I’m getting better at telling myself to just work as best as I possibly can. 

But, yeah, I’m excited for people to read and see how Golden’s developed with me as an individual. It’s interesting considering the story has grown up with me, and it’s sort of taken its own shape and whispered to me, “I know you want to change me, don’t be afraid to do so”, and now my nerves about that are near enough gone. 

I just want it to be a good writing year overall! So, I’ve got my fingers and toes crossed that the story ideas that play in my head everyday are able to be transferred to screen so others can enjoy them.

If you were to say one thing to your readers, other authors, and/or the interactive fiction community: what would it be? OR If you could change one thing about the interactive fiction community, what would it be?

My advice to readers would be that as writers, we definitely write our stories as an escape and whilst it’s important to write for ourselves, we write with the hopes that you enjoy it too. If there’s a particular scene or character or story that you love, definitely tell that author. It’ll make their day, their week, even. It’s such a wonderful feeling to hear from you guys. And also, just continue to consume the content that’s put out. And just a personal thank you to the readers I have for being patient with me. 

For authors, I’d say to have fun writing. If, in your gut, there are changes you’d love to make to your story, then do so. Remember that, no matter what, there’s always going to be at least one person that loves what you write. Always. So, if it’s motivation you want to continue putting words onto paper (or a screen), then that’s it. I also think it’s fun adding a little bit of yourself into your story.

Any books, music, movies etc. you’re obsessed with at the moment, or which changed your life (or perspectives on something)?

I read The Naturals by Jennifer Lynn Barnes and it’s absolutely changed my brain chemistry for the better. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes mystery with a romantic side plot. I love YA murder mystery books, so A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder series, books by Karen McManus. I also love Taylor Jenkins Reid. And, as its black history month, Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé is my favourite black author and she writes queer mystery/thriller books. My favourite of hers is Where Sleeping Girls. 

Music: I adore Billie Eilish (Hit Me Hard and Soft should’ve won a Grammy, I will die on this hill!) Noah Kahan and Sam Barber are artists I’ve really been loving at the moment. Gigi Perez as well, Sailor Song and Fable are songs I can never skip. 

This-or-that segment: (red = Mila's pick)

Coffee or tea?

Early mornings or late nights?

City or countryside?

Angsty or Cozy romances? (Or enemies-to-lovers or best-friends-to-lovers?)  

Steady progress or frenzied binge-writing followed by periods of calm?

Summer or Winter?

First drafts or editing?

Introvert or extrovert? (Gosh, I’m SUCH an introvert)

Plotter or pantser?

Characters or plot first?

Write your own “either-or” pairing: vampires or werewolves? (don’t tell B or K I even asked… I can’t pick between my faves, so I’ll let you guys choose :D)

[badwolfrose34]

My analysis of River Song (not River friendly)

This essay has been brewing in my mind for awhile. If you don’t want to see anti River content, please keep scrolling. I understand that since Doctor Who is a work of fiction, fans have the right to differing interpretations and to invoking literary license. However, I do want fans who are like me and icked out by River to feel validated. What follows is a pretty unreserved criticism of the character and her relationship with the Doctor.

First, I’m going to break down River from a psychological perspective. Note that I am not a licensed psychologist, but I did graduate with a degree in general psychology. I’m also going to explain some of the many instances that she proves herself to be an incredibly toxic person.

River Song was raised to be a psychopath. That’s an indisputable fact mentioned clearly in the show. Psychopathy is known in the psychology world as Anti Social Personality Disorder (ASPD). ASPD can be managed, but it has no cure. Could it be argued that River sees an off screen therapist? Sure. However, ask yourself if you can see River Song going to therapy?

Not only that, but River has no ordinary case of ASPD. She wasn’t just raised in an abusive or unsafe household, she was cut off from society during her critical formational years. Most cases of ASPD involve people who grew up in challenging households, but they did have interaction with society at large. I don’t know of any case studies surrounding people with ASPD who were cut off from society in their formational years, but doing some research on “feral children” will allow you to read examples of what happens to children raised away from society.

The case I know the most about is that of Oxana Malaya. You can google her for more. She was quite literally raised by dogs. And she required intense inpatient treatment to unlearn her dog like mannerisms. Even then, she always had a level of intellectual impairment.

Because River was specifically raised to have ASPD, she learned language abilities and was socialized on how to BEHAVE like a person capable of love and empathy and friendship, but she never was capable of these things. She was raised to put on an act to be able to get to the doctor and kill him. She was never capable of anything more.

Even if River saw an off screen therapist, she was never institutionalized, as would’ve been required for her to truly function as a healthy person in any possible way. She couldn’t have just shrugged off her programming. Why did she save the Doctor and give up her regenerations? It couldn’t have been guilt or remorse, but she could’ve developed co morbid Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is a common disorder to co occur with ASPD. The narcissism would’ve created within her a need for supply. Supply meaning, a boost to the narcissists ego. Narcissists are not capable of genuine empathy and love, but they are capable of seeking supply in the form of impacting other people’s emotions. And what better source of supply for one’s ego than the last known member of one of the most powerful races known to the universe?

When River decided to undo her murder and save the Doctor, it starts off with a completely nonconsensual kiss. This is a pretty fitting start to a relationship that progresses into a forced marriage.

River then continues to force unwanted innuendos on the Doctor. Probably implying they were intimate just to make the Doctor feel obligated to be intimate with her eventually. This is despite Matt Smith confirming in an interview that his Doctor is asexual. He could be demi or grey sexual, I’ll admit that possibility, but River insists on forcing her hyper sexuality on him at any and all stages in his timeline knowing they wouldn’t be welcome. I should note that hyper sexuality can be a symptom of ASPD. It’s not cute or fun. If River was simply a sexually liberated character, she would not be forcing her innuendos on someone who does not want them. Especially not in the earlier parts of his timeline.

River flounces around feeling and acting entitled to the Doctor’s attention if and when she wants it. When she wants it, he’s expected to come running. Then she disappears when she wants to. Creating a masterfully manipulative cycle of hot and cold emotional abuse. When he loses Amy and Rory, she refuses to travel with him. Leaving him emotionally vulnerable and at her beck and call when and if she feels like using him.

Audio dramas are too numerous to declare as universal canon. I think most fans pick and choose which parts of the extended universe count as canon to them. But in the Dalek Universe series, River appears for one episode where she physically abuses the Doctor. She hits him so hard that he is crying out in pain. And then she gaslights him by telling him it was just a little tap. Now, it’s perfectly valid not to count this moment as canon. But it’s extremely consistent with River’s character and I am personally going to use it against her. Especially since I did see another post somewhere bring up the fact that she did the same thing to the fifth Doctor in another audio.

Finally, the worst part of River’s abuse is the forced marriage. The first time the Doctor meets her, she convinces him that he eventually marries her. But he clearly can’t stand her. He doesn’t want anything to do with her. But now he feels as though he’s obligated to marry her. At first he hopes it’s something that can be changed. Saying that time can be rewritten when Amy asks if he marries River. Right up until the forced wedding he tells River he doesn’t want to marry her. But because she convinced him he does marry her in the library, and because nothing else is convincing River to save the universe, he gives in and gives her what she wants. Assuming it’s the only way to keep the universe from falling apart.

Now, I do understand that anyone who loved the Doctor would not want to bring back a timeline where he died. But River was already willing to start considering it just because he agreed to marry her. Because she got what she wanted and because she got the satisfaction of seeing her manipulations succeed. The Doctor couldn’t even get close enough to her to tell her his plan at first, but she was willing to let him come close to her just because he married her. River valued marriage to the Doctor more than the Doctor’s life.

I know it’s commonly believed among River fans that he only kept his distance because he saw her die. But Remember he couldn’t stand her long before that. He never liked her until he thought he was supposed to. No doubt seeing her die cemented his desire to keep a distance from her. But the point is he did keep a distance from her. He never got close to her and he never wanted to. But River always refused to respect this. She saved him so he could belong to her. So he could be her property.

No doubt the Doctor did develop a level of care and responsibility for her. Because he was a person capable of empathy and remorse. And any target of this kind of emotional abuse will develop some sort of attachment. But he was never in love with her. River herself knew this, but she had to convince herself he never loved anyone. But he did. We know for a fact he was in love with Rose. We know he loved friends like Donna platonically. But he didn’t love River. Nor should he have.

[pookie-mulder]

Feb. 2025 fic roundup

To my surprise, I read a ton this month!

❓🤰 By the Wind Grieved by Karen Rasch

This AU version of Mulder’s return is what we should have had in canon. Watching these two idiots fall back in love and navigate Mulder’s amnesia while trying to figure out what happened to him was absolutely delicious. The author absolutely nailed the characterizations, and M&S acted exactly like I feel like they would in the show!

🧚‍♂️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Tam Lin by Pequod

M&S uncover magic, mythology, and folklore as they travel to Scotland to solve the case of three missing boys.

This fic explores a fascinating question: Can Scully make herself believe if it’s the only thing that can save Mulder? Despite this, it’s relatively lighthearted. I loved the memorable OCs, the sickening (affectionate) UST, and the fact that our agents got the chance to ogle each other in formalwear.

🔮😵‍💫 Way Through the Woods by Pellinor & Rebecca Rusnak

Mulder has been missing for three months, and Scully must follow the clues to find out what happened to him.

I went into this fic expecting more of a survival story, but it’s much more of an angsty psychological thriller. The nonlinear plot and constant flashbacks were confusing at times, but I read this one while sick with a cold, so that could be the reason why I had a hard time with it. I loved it nonetheless and recommend it to anyone who wants to be taken on an existential ride.

⌚️💥 SN 1573 by prufrockslove

(Thanks to @fine-nephrit for reminding me I wanted to read this one lol)

Officially starting a conspiracy that PFL is secretly a wildly successful published author. There’s simply no way this kind of talent goes unrewarded by the universe. PFL, if you’re out there, just know I’m onto you 👀

Anyway, this post-colonization fic HURTS in the best way. What do you do when the world ends, but you’re still here? How do you go on? I love seeing characters pushed to the absolute brink. I love watching them bend until they break. I love watching them put themselves (and each other) back together in the face of abject despair. And BOY HOWDY does this fic deliver.

As always, the world-building and characterization are out of this world. Every detail is so meticulously written that I found myself believing this is exactly what would happen to humanity when there’s almost nobody left. And the flashbacks to Before — UGHHH the contrast between the happy, flirty, sappy beginning of their relationship to the absolute depression of After fills me with shrimp emotions.

💍💒 Proposal by @slippinmickeys

This little fic is one of my favorite MSR proposals ever!! I love an unconventional proposal, and this one definitely delivers. Mulder’s love for his little family gives me yet more shrimp emotions.

“I’m irredeemably in love with the both of you,” his voice cracks. “And I want to bind you to me in every way I possibly can.”

👆 that’s the good stuff right there!

🕯️👻 Beacon by @cecilysass

Lovelorn M&S are caught in a ghost’s curse and must admit their feelings before time runs out.

I love when our two favorite idiots are forced by outside influences to figure out their relationship (this one is along the lines of HTGSC, but with a Hanahaki disease-esque twist). It may take some meddling from a ghost or ghoul, but they get there in the end! This fic is perfect for warming your heart on a cold winter night.

🇺🇸👯‍♀️ An Alluring Indiscretion by beduini and M. Taylor Harrison

This intriguing casefic involves a senator, prostitutes, and doppelgängers. While it’s not the most polished fic I’ve ever read, it’s still very enjoyable, and there’s plenty of MSR to be had.

😷🔥 if the truth forgets about us by @leiascully

Angsty cancer arc smut my beloved!! Somehow, the angst makes the smut that much more intense. I’m in love!

🤕🫂 always in sickness, never in health by @mulderfrl

More cancer arc angst!!! Scully muses on her relationship with Mulder and how she wishes they had more time. It’s heartbreaking in the best way!

👿🛌 No More Demons by Penny Daza

During season 4, M&S decide to (platonically) sleep together — literally. Just for comfort.

I’m not gonna lie to you. This fic is messy as heck. You just have to let go of your adult brain and pretend you’re a 13-year-old again, reading fic on wattpad late into the night. Embrace the mess and just enjoy the ride.

💌💝 My Funny Valentine by @libbytxf

M&S celebrate Valentine’s Day throughout the years. I looove to see the evolution of their relationship from coworkers to friends to “it’s complicated” to lovers. Those USTy years are my favorite!

⛈️🤞 Lucky Stars by @thursdayinspace

Post-Syzygy, M&S want some space apart. Their plans are foiled, and they end up getting closer than ever.

This fic made me all warm and tingly! So precious!

😴🌲 The Dreaming Tree by @slippinmickeys

This fic has become one of my favorite casefics of all time! The premise had me hooked right from the start. It felt like an episode of the show, but better (and sexier).

I love the way it incorporates Native American history (in a much more tactful way than the show did). It’s respectful and informative while still being fantastical and entertaining. Genius!

🧚‍♂️🌳 The Unseelie Court by @slippinmickeys

Another banger of a casefic from slippinmickeys that deals with folklore and fairies. I love how sweeping and cinematic this one feels, especially the more magical scenes. It was so fun to put together the pieces and figure out what’s happening as I read!

❄️🚁 Falling Snow by Snark

Finally, a true wilderness survival fic I haven’t read already!

I would’ve liked some of the threads introduced the beginning to be woven together more. Certain things happen that have little to no impact on the overarching story. Still, once the big things start happening, I enjoyed this fic immensely! The OCs were surprisingly intriguing, and the tension had me reading late into the night.

🌳🦌 Old Growth Forest by Andrea

I very much enjoyed this time travel fic! It’s like a mixture between The Mastodon Diaries and a Wild West AU with plenty of survival elements.

However, I found myself wishing that it covered a longer period of time. There are certain things I was hoping to see, but the book ended before we got there. There were also some missed opportunities for added drama/characterization/internal conflict, but all in all, it was still a great read!

[maxdibert]

Ok, but what about the fact that Snape was a complete hypocrite? He openly looked down on Muggles and Muggle-borns. When his friends cursed someone, he had no problem with it. And he didn’t hold back from making nasty comments about them either. Lily didn’t like the fact that he hung out with them, but he didn’t care—he brushed it off as ‘just a joke.’ Yet he expected Lily to stay away from the Marauders. He showed some pretty nasty tendencies even as a kid.

Oh, so now we’re pretending people aren’t shaped by their environment? That kids don’t absorb the biases of the world they grow up in? That someone who’s been abused, neglected, and ostracized isn’t going to develop warped coping mechanisms, internal contradictions, or, I don’t know, cognitive dissonance?

Let’s break this down like you’re five.

Severus grew up in an abusive household, with a neglectful Muggle father who likely hated everything about magic, and a mother who was a beaten-down, powerless witch. His entire experience with the Muggle world was pain, humiliation, and isolation. Of course he gravitated toward the magical world as an escape. And when the magical world itself was split into factions, he latched onto the side that promised him power, belonging, and a way to finally matter.

Do you think that kind of upbringing magically (pun intended) turns someone into a well-adjusted, morally pristine human being? That he would just wake up one day and unlearn all the resentment and bitterness that had been drilled into him since childhood? That he, a literal outcast, would immediately reject the ideology of the only people who accepted him? Because news flash—that's not how human psychology works.

And yes, cognitive dissonance exists. People hold contradictory beliefs all the time, especially when those beliefs are shaped by pain, trauma, and survival instincts. Snape genuinely loved Lily, yet he still harbored prejudice. He despised the Marauders for tormenting him, yet he didn’t think twice when his own friends tormented others. Because people—brace yourself—are not consistent. They rationalize, they compartmentalize, they act on emotion rather than reason.

And this is where the real irony kicks in: you whine about Snape being a hypocrite, but fail to see that this very hypocrisy is what makes him a well-written, deeply human character. You act like contradictions in a person’s mindset invalidate them, when in reality, they’re what define us. People change, people regret, people make mistakes. The difference between a shallow, black-and-white character and a rich, layered one is that the latter struggles with these contradictions instead of magically overcoming them in a neat little redemption arc that makes you feel comfortable.

So yes, Snape was prejudiced. He was bitter. He was deeply, tragically flawed. But he was also capable of love, remorse, and change. He spent decades working against the ideology he once clung to, sacrificing everything—including his dignity, his safety, and ultimately his life—because he realized he had been wrong.

And that? That’s what makes him more compelling than any of the one-dimensional "good guys" who never had to fight their own demons. That’s what makes him more interesting than the people who had privilege, support, and love, yet still acted like assholes just for fun.

So go ahead and clutch your pearls over "hypocrisy," but just know that all you���re doing is proving that you have a painfully shallow understanding of human nature, storytelling, and, frankly, reality itself.

[venussaidso]

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍'𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 — Vedic Astrology Observation (based on shows/films part 7)

Merlin is also a sorcerer who is played by Ketu-nakshatra natives, much like Morgan Le Fay/Morgana Pendragon. I also noticed the trend of Ketu male actors playing King Arthur, and I made a small list in the later part of my 𝗠𝗼𝗿��� 𝗞𝗲𝘁𝘂-𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮 post. This means that the big 3 (Merlin, Arthur, Morgan) can be considered Ketu nakshatra natives, among other possibly frequent nakshatra influences of course.

Just like Morgana Pendragon, Merlin is depicted with magical abilities such as shape-shifting, manipulating the material plane and divination.

In the popular TV program Merlin, he is played by Magha Moon Colin Morgan.

In the 2011's series Camelot, Merlin is played by the Mula ASC native Joseph Fiennes.

In 1981's Excalibur, Magha nakshatra native Nicol Williamson played Merlin.

In the Starz TV series Camelot, Morgan and Merlin have a complex and antagonistic relationship. They're enemies from the start, and they're always in a battle of wits. Her character is famously defined as the bringer of chaos to the kingdom and Merlin is always a big threat of hers.

She despises him for his influence over the King (who she seeks to overthrow), while he is both wary and fond of her intelligence.

In the BBC's series Merlin, they have a deeper connection. They're less cunning, as this adaption is lighter and more magical. Merlin is portrayed as a kind, powerful warlock while Morgana is introduced as a kind-hearted, just, noblewoman — both (especially Merlin) embodying the Princess Belle archetype with seeing the good in others beyond the surface (a flaw in Merlin as Morgana's evil gradually increases).

She starts embracing dark magic and plots against King Arthur. As all adaptions go, Merlin's loyalty strictly lies with King Arthur and he struggles to stop her without getting her killed. But his betrayal only fuels her hatred.

It's interesting that in Camelot, the two are presented as political adversaries with no personal history, and their dynamic is more like a chess game if anything (again with Ketuvians playing mind games with each other).

While in Merlin, their conflict is ultimately tragic as they shared friendship.

I also love how Morgana is an outright, calculating villain in Camelot, while she is a magical heroine-turned-villain in Merlin.

I am certain that Eva Green's Morgan highlights Ashwini nakshatra. I'm still watching it, and she comes off more Martian than anything. She quite literally approaches everything like a chess game, using strategy (Mars) and dark magic & tricks (Ketu) to achieve ultimate power. Another obvious Ashwini hint is in her collecting allies to strengthen her position. This is just Mars energy to me.

Magha is an Ugra nakshatra, and we see this so perfectly through Katie McGrath's Morgana as she becomes so blinded by rage that she loses control.

Ugra nakshatras carry so much intensity and fierceness, almost all being fire signs.

Eva Green's Morgana remains composed and strategic even in moments of defeat. She is always planning her next move. Ashwini is more cunning and masking, being the only Ketu nakshatra which is not in the Ugra group. Not to say this Morgana doesn't have a temper, but her mind is just always racing with schemes.

Instead of brute force, Ashwini natives can rely on manipulation, deception, and psychological warfare — using charm & wit to get what they want (with her, it's the throne); whether that's through persuasion, seduction, or feigned vulnerability.

She is literally just female Loki.

[scriptstructure]

!! NSFW WARNING !! Hey, I totally understand if you don't want to answer this I've been trying to write smut. Specifically, an orgy with ~15 characters with ~7 of them having more focus. Things are happening at the same time and partners/groups are changed all the time and not together i.e. a single person finishes and just joins somewhere else. I don't know how/when to start switching who/which group to write about or even backtrack to a different group. It's rather jumbled up now.

I think the most important thing to remember when it comes to writing sex scenes, is:

Sex scenes are action sequences

We are developing a series of acts between a number of characters, and we hope to do a number of things:

There is an arc of action, beginning at the beginning point, moving though the action, and a crescendo & denoument

Who did what -/With whom -/and where

Give a sense of mood, theme, and continuity with the rest of the story (or, jarring discontinuity, if that's what you're using it for)

and so on, as with any other action scene

So, as we do with any kind of action sequence, we need to figure out the order of events, the way that we want to feel about those events*, and the time we're going to take to show all of this.

First up, you probably want to think about how central this scene is to your story. Is it a major incident, or a minor incident? ie, do we want to spend a lot of page space and detail on it, or is it something that just needs to be glossed over in a few paragraphs, just so we know that it happened?

This is going to change depending on what you're trying to do with the sex scene, and what your story is about.

Second up, the 'blocking' or figuring out the choreography of the scene. Who is where, what are they doing, and with whom. You can probably figure out a skeleton outline, just so that you can be sure that characters have time to participate in each scenario that you're including them in. (This is also a good time to think about the pace and rhythm of the scene--are there going to be snack breaks, lulls in the action, time for characters to catch their breath, etc)

If you're having trouble thinking of how to shift focus between different groupings, think about when and why the characters decide to move on from what they're doing to join someone else. Or about how what each group is doing might change the vibe of the scene.

Then, we'll think about mood. The mood can shift throughout the scene, eg frantic/ high energy->slow/ romantic->lazy/sated, or nervous->focussed->confident, whatever the emotional beats and journeys that you want to show.

Mood is also something which is going to lend a great deal to the scene in terms of communicating what it is for** in the story. Is this scene a way of showing the group dynamic, or of exploring individual character's psychology, or illustrating a cultural norm, or of celebrating a victory, or any other thing that it could be about. These characters are having sex, why are they doing that, and what does it mean in the context of the narrative.

So now we know that we need to have an understanding of what the purpose of this scene is in the overall narrative, what exactly happens and in what order, what sort of mood we're trying to evoke with this scene, and what other things we might be learning about character/ place/ culture through this scene.

Next, what about some examples of books that use sex scenes with more or less complex staging to develop various plots and themes:

In the Court of the Nameless Queen by Natalie Ironsides->exploration of gender and identity, with both orgy scenes and couple scenes

Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z Brite/ Billy Martin->this is a horror novel featuring two serial killers falling in love, look up some content warnings if that sounds like it isn't for you

Leash by Jane Delynn-> a classic of lesbian weirdo-erotica, about societal alienation and BDSM

Some posts about plotting and POV that might be useful:

Multiple plots with different character groups [HERE] Multiple plots that converge at the end [HERE] Multiple plots and subplots [HERE] Multiple POV characters and narrative shape [HERE] Third person POV and focalisation 'depth' [HERE] First person POV strengths and limitations [HERE]

I hope that's helpful! If there's anything that needs clarifying, please don't hesitate to ask again!

-Mason

*note: you might think that I'd say that we're assuming that people should read the sex scene to get horny about it, but that is just one option of many, and while it has its place, there are far more things that you can do with a sex scene

**note: I also do want to be clear that there's nothing wrong with writing sex scenes explicitly for the horny factor. That, traditionally, is one of the major reasons to include sex scenes in a story. But I do think that more narrative weight makes a sex scene more memorable and interesting.

[illuminatedquill]

Dichen Lachman, Gemma Scout’s actress, has done some interviews in the wake of 2x07. I’ve clipped some stuff I found interesting, along with some of my own thoughts.

Spoilers ahead, be warned:

God, she’s been trying for years. My poor girl.

It hurts to see that this recent escape attempt has finally broken Gemma’s resolve. But Dichen thinks that although Gemma is resigned to her fate, she still holds onto the slim hope that Lumon will let her go when the experiments are over (spoiler alert: that is extremely unlikely).

Anyone who’s seen Dollhouse probably got a sense of deja vu when watching this episode. I’m glad that Dichen shares that same feeling. I don’t know, I just found it amusing.

THIS!!!

“The chikhai bardo is a Buddhist belief about a transitional state between death and rebirth, which could point to reintegration for both Mark and Gemma”

Both Mark and Gemma will never be able to reclaim the life they once had. That’s the tragedy. Those versions of them are gone. Dead.

Mark is reintegrating and becoming something new with the melding of his outie and innie personalities; Gemma, splintered into multiple versions of herself that are exposed through endless petty cruelties and psychological torture that she doesn’t remember, fighting tooth and nail to return home. They are becoming something new.

And I think these two new people should have a chance to find a new path forward. Together. Despite it all, despite the horrors and obstacles and misery, their love still endures. It won’t fix anything, it won’t guarantee a happy ending but it will be a new start. They deserve that.

The severance chips are being prepped for mass consumption. Gemma being put through all these varying situations - which are probably her own personal stressors - is to refine these chips perfectly so that people would never have to suffer again. But that’s so antithetical to life. We experience the joys so richly because of our lows, our suffering. You cannot have one without the other. That isn’t life!

All that remains is Cold Harbor. Ominous name. What horrible experience remains for Gemma to suffer through?

Still convinced that Gemma definitely signed up for something regarding the infertility issues but it’s evident that she wasn’t told the full extent of what Lumon would do with her. There’s more story to be told about how they got to her, I’m sure.

THE ENDGAME: Hades and Persephone

After having a full day to process this episode I am, admittedly, filled with a weird sense of optimism. Although Gemma’s fate seems all but sealed, I think the writers are smarter than to lay all this tragedy on characters only to end it in . . . well, more tragedy. There won’t be any healing or progression for either Mark or Gemma’s characters until she is freed from Lumon’s clutches.

Mark already tried to do that and he couldn’t. The only way he could fall in love again is if he never met Gemma. Don’t forget that.

Gemma needs to be free and be reunited with Mark. It won’t fix anything, I assure you. All that grief and yearning and suffering won’t magically disappear because they are back together. There’s so many interesting dynamics to play out.

The unresolved issues they had before she was taken by Lumon.

And then there’s Mark, fully reintegrated, remembering Helly and his love for her. Gemma having to reconcile the fact that there is a part of her husband that loved someone else.

The half-remembered nightmares and waking up with aches. Endless hallways and rooms that fill you with dread. An elevator that only goes down and never back up. Both Mark and Gemma will literally leave pieces of themselves behind in Lumon that they will never get back.

I think we’ve been looking at this wrong. Mark and Gemma being so tragic and Orpheus/Eurydice coded. They’re doomed by the narrative, it seems.

But . . . it doesn’t quite fit anymore now that we know that Gemma is alive and wants to go home.

I think Mark and Gemma are more like Hades and Persephone now. The other pairing in Orpheus and Eurydice’s story. In Hadestown, Orpheus’ song reignites their love and trust in each other, allowing them to try again after their relationship had become so strained.

So who is Orpheus and Eurydice now?

Who do you think.

[deafeningfanlight23]

Sun and Moon Designs for TSAMS AU + Rant! :] (I LIKE PSYCHOLOGY OKAY :'D)

I'M BACK Y'ALL I PULLED A WILLIAM AFTON! ✨💃 And because I have nothing to do, I will waste my time that I have on the Earth to talk about things THAT SHOULD BE TALKED ABOUT BY EVERYONE: THE SUN AND MOON SHOW! >:D

SUN'S SECTION

(Sun uses he/she pronouns in my story so don't be confused if I address her with she! :D)

I have ALWAYS imagined her with this over-the-top outfit, y'know, where you get an eye-strain - A bunch of colors slapped on the fabric with a radiating, never-ending positivity and sunshine coming from it all! :]

BUT, because he is one of my favorite characters and my top kin, OF COURSE HE GONNA HAVE TRAUMA that's my love language 😍✋ (I show affection this way don't mind me 💅😋)

This outfit is like the POLAR OPPOSITE of how he is feeling on the inside, and that's how I intended it to be (SUBTLE STORYTELLING OHHH Shakespear is in DA HOUSE >:D) - Because this is a part of this facade that he has been keeping up, one of positivity and joy, optimism and something else but I ran out of adjectives ;D

With this happy-go-lucky persona, she tries (and often fails) to cover up and hide this shadowy, nagging void and this untreated and messy pile of self-hatred, self-doubts and endless trauma that becomes increasingly intertwined! :D FUN AIN'T IT >:D

Sundrop also has a RELENTLESS inferiority complex that nearly paralyses and stunts him - That he is of less worth, that he is a burden and failure to his family and everyone around him, and that no matter how much he tries (and his lack of tries thereof), he will always be beneath everyone. And to be honest, he eventually accepted this role because he thought that's just how things are supposed to be, and that's the only place where he CAN'T do nothing wrong and can't disappoint anybody, because everyone else does the work while he stays in the sidelines and is stuck as the passive observer. He can't mess ANYTHING up through this, and that's good. Although it makes him feel so, SO feel useless, so much so that it feels like it chokes him around the throat like a noose whenever he sees his siblings (especially Moon) work so hard on keeping this piece of shit, HIM, safe, despite him doing NOTHING in return to even deserve this.

I have SO MUCH to tell about Sundrop and her psychology, it's just so fascinating and interesting! There are so many tiny, moving parts and pieces that make her the anxious, traumatized mess she is who can BARELY hold herself together and is about to snap! (and it helped me to kinda cope cuz I projected like 1000% issues of mine onto her :3 SO I GUESS THIS WAS JUST ME TRAUMA-DUMPING AND VENTING BUT SNEAKY, I evil genius 🤭)

ANYWAY, HERE IS SUNNYBOY! :D

This is my favorite so far because I also just slapped my own style onto him >:D AND YEAH I HAVE GOOD TASTE, I KNOW 💅✨ /j :D

Sun has a more "feminine" style and also an eyelash on the left eye because, in my story, he is a demigirl and uses he/she pronouns as mentioned :D I also gave him MANY earrings and details to emphasize kind of the randomness of his outfit and also the subtle randomness, or a more fitting term, "unpredictability" of him - You never know quite certainly what will piss him off and make him shout in unfiltered, pent-up rage, or make him suddenly turn quiet, stunted, and afterwards break down and sob. She is like a dice :]

The facade is EASILY to be cracked after all.

However, the amount of details and earrings are for me at least kind of overwhelming and everywhere, as if so many things are demanding for my attention - And that's because Sun is a mess, a person whose pieces of himself are scattered from one spot to one another more far away.

I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR HOURS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I GOTTA SHUT UP MY MOUTH 😭🙏

ANYWAY SUN'S DIFFICULTY TO DRAW WAS... 4/10 because he's an unstable cutie patootie :D But it was a bit difficult to talk about him because IT OMNIOUSLY IS SIMILAR TO ME HM I WONDER WHY- 😀

BUT NOW, THE EMO BLUEBERRY IS NEXT! >:D

MOON'S SECTION

I have NO IDEA how to begin with Moon, he is just really um Moon-y 😭

BUT what I can say about him is that in my story, he behaves more and is like the first version of Moon before he had sacrafised himself for KC - And we all know that he didn't treat Sun THAT well. Of course, he loved his brother dearly and cared about him, however, this love didn't really come across in his ways of trying to keep Sun safe and unburdened. He LITERALLY was so much "good intentions, bad methods."

He overprotected Sun so much by trying to unburden him by doing everything himself and not letting him help in a way, and although it should benifit Sun, it only caused their already stain relationship to actually fall apart more and Moon to crash out, causing him to ultimately lash out at Sun. It was very tragic to witness ^^' While the intentions of this are transparent, it actually just feeded into Sun's perception of his role as the useless brother and gave him another reason to hate himself even more, but especially made his fear of messing up even stronger and bigger because there was NO opportunity to challanege this belief by having a moment of success, accomplishment and glory that he desperately needed to get pulled out of this spiral - Which ultimately resulted into trying to kill Eclipse to silence these thoughts and feelings. It kept him depended on Moon though, because after a while of Moon doing everything himself, it was so normalized that he expected Moon to always figure everything out himself. It was a clashing piece of parts that shouldn't co-exist with each other. But he continued drowned in those feelings uselessness, in his inferiority complex and fear.

WAIT I WAS COMPLETELY DRIFTING OFF TOPIC I STARTED TO TALK ABOUT SUN- 😭 ("editing" Squishy: That's why I marked it yellow so you can skip it, and the following ones, too ;D)

Okay, to get the point across swiftly, Moon was abusive towards Sun. He exhibited absolutely abusive behavior and was sometimes EXTREMELY immature, and his ways of abusing Sun reflected that, too - Guilt-tripping, blame-shifting and much more. (But Sun is VERY MUCH so himself, too, we can't forget that.)

My interpretation is that Moondrop, while he and Sun still shared a body, had an emotional development that was constantly disrupted. He never really had the "privilege" to, for example, learn how to interact with the world around him and to learn how to regulate and control his emotions because of social isolation and the takeovers of Sun. Of course, that affected Sundrop too, but Sundrop had way more interactions with the outside world and had opportunitites to learn about social interactions (and Karens maybe taught him how to somehow restrain his emotions) unlike Moon.

Moondrop also was VERY depended on Sun, just like Sun was depended on Moon - He literally couldn't LIVE without him, even less than Sun could, because Sun was his only source of emotional stability, his sort of crutch that always helped him through things!

WITH THAT OUTTA THE WAY, TOO, Moon is also a VERY short-tempered person, just like Sun in a way. Although he is very smart, he also is VERY impulsive - He isn't very cold, cunning and calculating, but he CAN be. Just like Eclipse, the one he doesn't want to get compared to because he is the walking embodiment of EVERYTHING he doesn't want to be but sadly, still kind of is. Anyway, as we saw ourselves, he often threatened to beat Sun or punch him at least during gaming episodes, and although it was often seen as a joke by both of them that is not taken to be seriously (or so it looked like, though Sun very much got nervous), I think that it planted at least some seeds of fear in Sun's mind, judging how much HE TRIES to avoid to anger Moon and immediately gets quiet and fidgety when Moon is sadly angered. And the infamous whacking stick, we can't forget that :'D

And just like Sun, Moon also has an IMMENSE self-hatred and low self-esteem - His past haunted him and tormented him, his desire to protect Sun overrode sometimes the smart, science part of him, and there were many things he wanted to correct but never could and ultimately failed to do so.

OKAY WAIT WHY IS HE KINDA INTERESTING TO TALK ABOUT TOO- 😨

BUT ANYWAY HIS DESIGN! :D

THERE HE IS :3

I like his design a lot tbh! :D AND I JUST DISCOVERED THAT MOONFLOWERS EXIST AND LIKE OF COURSE I GOTTA SLAP IT ONTO HIS PANTS CUZ IT MATCHES SUN'S SUNFLOWERS >:D

Difficulty to draw was 6/10 cuz like meh :/ He introduced me to TSAMS though AND I REMEMBER RELATING TO HIM SO MUCH CUZ IT WAS THIS EPISODE I THINK "Sun learns MOON'S DARK SECRET" and where he basically DID NOT SPAT FACTS BUT TRAUMA 😭 So I will give him a sticker for trying :3

And now, the twins side-by-side:

They have similarities cuz they are twins, duh ✨💅

They have the same flower theme on the pants, they have those weird left eyebrows AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: They have those necklace thingies! :D And they work like this: Sun's has the actual Sun side in black to focus on the Moon, because Moon is his counterpart and he can't live without him, and Moon's has the actual Moon side in black to focus on the Sun because of the same reason! :D

AND THIS TOOK 1 HOUR AGAIN TO WRITE YAY 😍 Sooo thank you for hearing me yap, hope you enjoyed! :D (Though you can tell me of course if it doesn't interest you and you just want to see the character designs, I have the feeling that not many are interested in the stuff that I say! ^^' AND THAT'S OKAY BTW YOU SLAY REGARDLESS >:D)

NOW I GO SLEEP cuz it's 10 pm where I live and I have school tomorrow and I am sleep-deprived cuz NIGHTMARES :'D Nightmares should go and eat out of the garbage can I tell u 😃

TUNG! :D

[rahuratna]

Lu!!! This is so incredibly beautiful in such an understated and thoughtful way.

There's something about this piece, a certain stillness that gives me the impression of hovering on the edge of something huge. It's a painting, a portrait of a man who bears and bears and bears and doesn't break, but cracks by inches like a fine porcelain mask and nobody notices until he shatters. And that's Nanami. It's all Nanami. This is how he ended up in THAT place at THAT time in Shibuya.

It's not a loud crack, but the gentle patter of all the pieces of the man he is.

And what I love in your depiction of this is that it's clear, that even with the amazing support system he has, he is the one who has to ultimately do the work of healing. He's the one who has to admit weakness, embrace change, understand the magnitude of what has happened to him, understand that this is his new normal and learn where to go from there.

I can't tell you how deeply that specific aspect resonated for me, and why your writing rings so true. I have been through this kind of rehabilitation myself, and seeing Nanami's frustration, his sense of loss and his quiet despair at the thought of never regaining his old self just fills me with such tenderness. There will be a sense of normalcy, maybe not the one he envisioned, but one that brings peace all the same.

Nanami's positive affirmations, and how silly he feels saying them, also strike a deep chord. It comes down to the caregiver reader character, their very presence, to remind him that none of these tiny steps are pointless.

The RC themself is so, so well written. Their sense of professionalism, never crossing his boundaries but helping HIM push his own, their constant reassuring presence, their voicing the truth of their role, that he needs to think of those that assist him as an extension of his own limb, is exactly the thing someone who's really, really good at their job would do. The medical and psychological accuracy speaks volumes in terms of the research and thought you put into crafting their character alone.

Overall, I've read some great post-Shibuya Nanami stories, but this one resonates in such a different way. You've drawn out the silent storm, depicted the minutiae of the healing process with such precision, given such a poignant glimpse into his thoughts. Nanami feels the most real to me, in his strength tempered by helplessness and the fear that constantly assaults him.

Just a beautiful story all round, and so carefully and thoughtfully crafted. It breathes the energy of real healing and the many, many small increments of progress, and sliding back and remaining dogged in the face of what seems like overwhelming odds. And again, that's Nanami. That's the battle he would fight with every inch of his hallmark patience and determination, and it's a battle he would win.

Lifetime

post shibuya!nanami x caregiver!reader

A series dedicated to healing and letting yourself have a second chance in this lifetime.

Inspired by this song that brings me to tears every single time.

content warning: shibuya arc, mentions of death, mental health awareness, angst(eventual comfort), burn victim so expect some detailed imagery.

wc: 4.9k

an: thank you for reading. I love you lots.

I.

Time seemed to trickle as Nanami waited for his physical therapist to arrive.

First at home session since being discharged.

4 days a week, 30 minutes a day.

“Individualized exercise program including rigorous activities as you progress to help you regain your independence.. Sure.” Nanami read from the pamphlet out loud and sighed as he looked over the stack of literature he left the rehab facility with.

He was thankful that he was deemed fit enough to continue his healing at home after 11 weeks in the best facility Gojo could find. While it accommodated every possible concern one could have, he was certain he wouldn’t feel confident in being self sufficient until he was able to put all he had learned into practice at home.

So there he was, sifting through paperwork and sipping his coffee as he awaited his new physical therapist and as Ino finished cleaning his kitchen.

“I think thats it! Lunch is in the black container on the top shelf in the fridge and I’ve prepped dinner for when Gojo comes to cook. Anything else before I’m off?” Takuma grabbed his keys, the jangle bringing Kento out of his reading trance as he looked up.

“Yes, that should be fine. I appreciate you coming over every morning Takuma. But it’s not necessary.”

Takuma scoffed, almost offended at the idea. “Nonsense. Its just a little breakfast and lunch. Its on my way to the school anyway. Consider it a small help.”

He could protest but Takuma would simply find another way to make himself useful. Whether it be taking him to his appointments or coming to slather his injuries: he was going to find a way to be of help.

As he adjusted his cast as best he could, a text popped up from an unsaved number.

>Hello, Mr. Nanami! Currently heading to you. ETA is ten minutes.

Signed with your name, Nanami simply reads the text and reacted to the message with thumbs up.

“Thank you, Takuma. Truly. But I think thats everything. My physical therapist is on their way so I’ll just hang out til then.”

“Alrighty! I’ll be working mostly on campus so just shoot me a text if you need me. Take it easy, Nanami.” with that, Ino grabbed his jacket and proceeded out the front door.

Nanami exhaled and got up to sit at the window. The mid morning sun was gentle but insistent, that soft golden hue brightening everything it touched.

It wasn’t harsh, just warm enough to remind Nanami of the outside world, a quiet promise that time was still moving. The warmth on his right side almost felt foreign as the dust mites danced lazily in the light. He closed his eyes, taking in the fragile sense of something stirring inside of him­— reposeful comfort in the way the sun didn’t have a sudden, overwhelming wave of joy but a soft declaration that he was still here.

Nanami hadn’t had many moments to really think about just how life changing the incident had been. Half of his body littered in 3rd degree burns, a third of that, 4th degree. Loss of hair on one side, an eye patch over his eye and a lack of feeling down his left arm.

He’d looked at himself in the mirror exactly once since the incident and didn’t do it again until he acquired his face prosthetic recently.

It was bulky and itchy, but it alleviated the deformities and more importantly, kept him from being too hard on his own appearance.

The moment felt necessary. Reminding him that the sun remained a constant while other things changed.

“I’ll need to see if I can sit outdoors for a few minutes a day. Would be good for me.” he noted outwardly before a light tapping at the front door had him shuffling towards the foyer.

One moment, please.” he paused a few paces before he reached the door to look down, remembering his shirt had a hole near the hem of it. He didn’t have time to change but only hoped the therapist wouldn’t see him as some undetermined slob with no real concern on how he looked.

He took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Mr. Nanami?”

“That would be me.”

“Perfect! Hello! I was sent by the health and wellness agency as part of your transitioning to home health care. We have an appointment. May I come in?”

No scrubs, no accessories to signify you were a medical professional. Just a badge clip holding your ID with “HHA” boldly sitting under your name.

“Sure. Come on in.” He led you into the house, slowly walking into the living room and nodding towards the couch as you stood next to him.

You grin and sat on the far end of the couch, near the window, “Thank you.” you sat your tote littered in small pins on the coffee table and pulled out a somewhat thick file.

“Would you like anything to drink? Water, coffee?”

Shaking your head, you tapped the top of your bag. “No thank you. I have my tumbler. But I appreciate it!”

Nanami slightly bowed his head and sat in the solo chair next to the couch. “Alright so, how do we start this? I was told I’d see you four days a week with one more day possibly if I need to.”

You pursed your lips, looking down at your paperwork before looking back up to meet his neutral gaze.

“I believe that’s your physical therapist that you will be seeing four days out of the week.”

“Then pardon me for being so… impolite. But who are you exactly?”

The laugh that left your lips was a soft one but enough for Kento to lift his lips into a slight smile.

“I realize your discharge team didn’t give you names, faces, or titles. My apologies.”

“It happens.”

You continued. “I’m your Home Health Care Provider. While you were still in recovery, you met with your primary care provider and you spoke of your in home care, correct?”

Nanami nodded. “Yes.”

“Going over the team you’d have for your in housee rehabilitation, you were assigned a home health aide 5 days a week.”

His brow furrowed. “So you are that, I assume?”

“Yes. I will also be the one looking over the full team that provides you with your in-home care.”

“This feels very unnecessary.” The tone in his response was sharp. “I have people who come to help me with my daily needs. Having an entire team sounds like an exhausting back and forth to have coming to my house. A waste of resources.”

Your demeanor remained soft and understanding as you listened to his concerns. “Mr. Nanami. I understand that it sounds overwhelming. If I had to be in the predicament of needing a care team after an incident, I too would be a bit apprehensive.”

“But you aren’t. I am.”

The immediate smile that grew on your face wasn’t one that came from kindness. It was your defense, albeit an understandable one. “You are correct. I’m not. But I implore to at least hear me out on why its important to have us.”

A rush of emotions filled Kento’s chest. He wanted to pull his hair out from sheer frustration. But he remained calm.

His discomfort was obvious to you and you wanted to remedy the ache somehow.

“I want you to have an idea of what this could look like as you approach the first steps of gaining a sense of normalcy. Would you be willing to let me give you an example of what a week may look like for you? And if you don’t like it, we can adjust to a schedule that fits better for you.”

“Let’s hear it, then.”

“Splendid.” You reached into your file and pulled out a thoroughly detailed schedule and turned it for Nanami to look along with you.

“So, this schedule is based loosely on the day to day you had while in the rehab facility. No matter who, anything involving someone from your team wouldn’t be arriving until 10am. This is unless you decide to utilize me. Then I would be here at 7 every morning to aide you with your morning routine.”

“What if I don’t want extensive help?”

“I would respect the boundary.”

Nanami took a closer look at the schedule, seeing the words ‘kitchen prep healing exercise’ highlighted for every Tuesday and Thursday. “What does this entail? Kitchen prep healing.”

“Your passions shouldn’t suffer because of changes. So I created a regimen that would help us get in the kitchen and get busy while making sure we help maintain your range of motion and fine motor skills.”

Nanami looked up at you for a moment, trying to assess just how serious you were about changing what he was uncomfortable with.

“So if I only need you for meal prep and assisting with chores around my house.”

“Then I will only help you with meal prep and assisting with your chores around the house.”

He handed the schedule back to you. “And if it isn’t something that I’ve mentioned?”

Trying to test you. Cute. “If you mention to me that would like me to assist you in going to the grocery store, fixing your bed, helping you get ready for your appointments, then I will. Because my goal is having you confident in yourself and your abilities.”

That nagging feeling of what if filled his chest and mind. Nanami knows he can’t do it alone. But to be a burden is the last thing he wants to ever become.

“I don’t want to become too dependent on you and your teams’ services.” He sat up as best he could, stretching out his legs and wincing at the unexpected intensity of his blood flowing through his left leg.”

Not wanting to lose the momentum, you sat on the edge of the couch alert of and aware of the pain he showed. “Your independence will not falter. We are merely an extension. We are the claw arm that’s in your reach if the jar of pickles are too high up, if you will.”

Nanami tried to stop the half smile on his face but faltered. “I understand.”

“Do you have any questions for me?” You smiled politely.

“A few,” Nanami cleared his throat. “When it comes to changing my dressings..”

“I will be the only one who sees them completely outside of your primary physician.” You answered, as if you were waiting for that specific question.

“Second question: can you properly fold a fitted sheet?”

You laughed, nodding. “The trick is in how you hold the corners. Line up the creases and you’ll always have a perfect fold.”

Nanami nodded. “Interesting.” The intense blood flow in his legs ceased and his body noticeably relaxed. He sat forward. “Final question, if you were to start tomorrow, could we have your start time for 8am? I like having the first hour of the day to myself.”

“If you want me here at 8 am, I will be at the door by 7:55 to knock at 7:59.”

The moment of silence was filled with hope as you realized you got to him. You let him see genuine concern and thats all he wanted. But this was only the beginning. And you were willing to be his guide to a sense of independence all the way through.

___________________________________________

The silence of the early morning was heavier than usual— a quit hum of of the refrigerator reached his room as he slept with his bedroom door open now, a new practice he’s since learned is a response to his trauma.

He sat on the side of his bed, staring down at his slippers that warmly held his feet as the barely visible morning light filtered through the curtains, soft and unrelenting.

“I embrace healing.” He spoke out loud, his voice still low, sleep riddened, as he slowly rose from the bed and grabbed his cane.

“We aren’t going to be hard on ourselves because this is still new to you, Kento. Its okay to not know what to do.”

Mornings were more of a drag than he would like for them to be.

His body was more stiff. More rigid. He needed 30 minutes minimum to sit on the side of the bed and stretch just to muster up enough internal energy to get up and grab his cane.

He sounded off, flipping the bathroom light on and adjusting the sink to run warm water. “Today will be a great day.” He washed his hands, meticulously washing between his fingers and flicking the excess off his fingers before he dried them, reaching for a clean towel and letting it soak under the faucet.

“You will be more than okay.” this time, he spoke as if someone would overhear him talking to his self.

Nanami shook his head, lowly chuckling at what he found himself doing.

Yuji began to send him various videos that initiated ‘positive self talk’ and ‘daily affirmations for healing the body.’ Yuji hoped to try and help expedite a process that Megumi told him more than fives times, would take awhile.

Slowly pulled away the dressing on his cheek, Nanami watched small bits of dead tissue peel away from his healing skin. He threw it in the trash hamper, then pumped a small dot of antimicrobial soap on the wet towel he’d soaked and gently began to wash his face.

He looked closely, inspecting every patch he wiped over to take notice of any changes in how his skin looked. He tried very, very hard to not look into his own eyes.

Rinsing and patting to dry, he washed his hands again then reached for the jar of salve, precisely swiping a thin layer over his left cheek and forehead before he placed his transparent face mask on.

Finishing up his morning bathroom routine went without a rush. Going to throw on yet another loose fitting t-shirt and casual pants before sliding his slippers back on.

Slow and steady. Nice and easy.

“I am going to have a great day today.” the rubber end of his walker softly thudded against the wooden floors as he made his was down the hall. “It is a new day. New chances.”

He wasn’t going to confirm or deny if these affirming exercises were doing anything. But he’d admit that saying them aloud was probably the silliest he’d felt ever doing anything.

The living room held a welcoming warmth as he drew the blinds open that faced the street.

The third floor apartment view was always the one thing that made the asking price of his condo worth it to him.

The patchwork of traditional rooftops and modern buildings met the edge of the cities outskirts. Bare branches stood against the pale early morning winter sky, hints of early plum blossoms added a hint of a spring that would soon come and wipe away the muted landscape.

Kento sat on the window seal, taking in the low mountains in the distance. That thin veil of mist hiding the peaks that were still dusted in snow. With a deep inhale, he looked down at the street to see a bundled up pedestrian loading his car with boxes as another, that looked only slightly familiar, was exiting their car in a slow jog to the front steps of his building.

He glanced over at the clock on the wall.

7:55 am.

“Timely.”

slowly, he went to open the rest of the blinds around the living room, a slow tango that made him a feel like he still had just enough control, timing the last curtain opening perfectly as your soft knock filled the foyer yet again.

He stood there for a moment, his hand resting on the frame, before opening the door and stepping aside in a half step to let you in. His expression was neutral — not unkind, but carefully composed, as if he were still deciding how much space to give you in his life.

“Good morning,” you spoke softly, offering a polite smile.

“Morning,” Nanami replied, his voice low and steady. “I was about to make myself a simple breakfast. Coffee too.”

It wasn’t quite an invitation, but it wasn’t a dismissal either. It was just a statement — a line drawn firmly down the middle.

You nodded. “That sounds good.”

You sat your bag down on the ottoman against the wall and followed his lead. The condo was quiet — too quiet, the kind that felt deliberate. Like he'd stripped the space of anything deemed unnecessary. A few trinkets here and there, clean lines, muted colors.. But the kitchen felt like the homeliest part of the space.

Black stainless steel appliances, cold press juicer and blender sitting on the counter. A top of the line built-in double electric convection wall oven, a display of every herb and spice on a dark mahogany shelf sitting high on the wall.

“You have a very beautiful kitchen.” Your eyes grazed over the quartz cabinets, taking in the light blue finishes until you landed on what you knew to be as the best stand mixer that only experts chefs and bakers would have.

“You have a Bosch… Its even more beautiful in person.” You inspected it as if it were a lost artifact seeing the light for the first time in 500 years.

Nanami cocked his head for a moment. “Are you that taken by a stand mixer?”

“Mr. Nanami, I’d have to work 3 weeks nonstop to not only get the mixer but to financially recover from it.”

Your half suppressed laugh had Kento smiling. “Understandable. It is a big purchase. I use to bake fresh bread for my weekly use.”

“You’ll have to give me a demonstration one day! Would love to see the Bosch in action.”

Nanami raised his brows. “You think I can get back to that one day?”

The small flick of something resembling hope flecked in the richest parts of his brown eyes.

“We can get you back to that. I’m sure of it.”

He nodded, a silent acceptance of an unspoken challenge. He opened the refrigerator, bearing his weight on the cane as he used his dominant hand to grab the butter, holding it out.

“Do you mind taking things as I pass them to you?”

You reached out, taking the butter and placing it on the counter. “Don’t mind at all.”

A pack of bacon, a jar of jam and an orange followed after and you awaited his next instruction.

“I’m going need your help with peeling orange. I believe I can manage the rest.”

With quiet acknowledgment, you grabbed the orange and began to peel as he placed 2 pieces of bacon in the skillet.

It took less than 10 minutes and Nanami moved to the dining table, a slice of toast placed next to his bacon on a plate and setting out a small dish of fruit with the addition of an apple now. You brought out 2 mugs of coffee, placing his in front of him and sitting across from him with yours.

A butter knife rested awkwardly beside the jar of jam he chose. It was clear he had intended to do more, but something had stopped him.

You didn’t move or say anything, you sipped your coffee and watched as he reached for the jar. His right hand gripped the jar while his left hovered over the lid. His fingers trembled — just slightly — but enough that the lid refused to budge.

You didn’t move at first. You’d quickly learned that Nanami wasn’t the type to appreciate overstepping, even if it came from a place of concern. So you waited, giving him the space to either push through the task or acknowledge the struggle.

After a long moment, his jaw tightened. The jar didn’t budge.

You opened your mouth — not to offer help, but simply to ask if he wanted you to hold the base of the jar steady when his voice cut through the silence.

“Can you…” He paused, the word tasting foreign on his tongue. “Can you open this for me?”

It wasn’t a whisper, nor was it loud. Just a calm, measured request, but you could hear the effort behind it — the weight of a man who wasn’t used to asking for assistance.

You stood and went to his side of the table and gently placed your hand on the lid. “Turn when you’re ready.”

His hand dropped away, switching his left hand out for the right gripping the glass part and his left fingers curling into a loose fist at his side. The lid gave way with a soft pop, and you set it down in front of him without a word.

He didn’t thank you, but there was a small nod — barely noticeable, but it was there.

“Would you like me to slice the apple for you?” you asked, careful not to overstep.

Nanami shook his head. “No. I can manage.”

You sat back down, sipping your coffee as he asked you more questions about your fascination with his Bosch.

_______________________________________

The morning moved quickly. Breakfast cleanup was a breeze as Nanami continued his light reading and non rigorous solo exercises.

During breakfast, you’d been given what you called the key to the cupboard by Nanami. He uttered, with few words, that he didn’t want to prevent you from doing your job. While he limited what that might be, he was quick to say how appreciative he’d be if his bed could be made up, his laundry started and lunch done. He’d have a friend come by to do the rest.

You happily complied and began working on laundry the moment he sat down post breakfast. And by noon, his physical therapist had arrived to continue his exercise routine and mobility work.

Despite the pain he would occasionally feel from the intense stretches he felt near his ankles, this was Nanami’s favorite part of his rehabilitation. Feeling the tightness dissipate as he stretched his neck and chest together. He closed his eyes, allowing the PT to guide his body on top of the exercise ball.

“Now a slow exhale as you reach your arms over your head. Nice and easy.”

The short man moved the ball under Nanami and he grunted.

“Sorry Mr. Nanami, too much?”

Nanami wheezed a chuckle out, “Not enough. Can we do this one more often?”

The therapist exhaled and smiled. “We can. Your body is reacting as it needs to and it seems to be the best exercise to get a reaction out of you. Does it feel like your body is loosening up?”

He nodded, slowly sitting up with assistance. “Definitely. My skin feels less taut at my hips and chest when I open up my arms like that. It feels.. good.”

“That’s what I like to hear. We’re going to finish off with some hands exercises then your aide will be tagged back in to finish the day off with you.”

His session proceeded and came to an end before he knew it. He walked with a bit more confidence as he escorted his therapist to the door and went to find you in the kitchen finishing lunch.

Nanami watched you sliced the cucumber. He nodded at the precision of the knife movements, impressed with how perfect each little sliced green disc was as you added it to the salad bowl. He waited to speak once you sat the knife down.

“You have some really great knife skills.”

You looked up and smiled, wiping your hand on the dish towel nearby. “4 years of cooking for a group of broke college students as a college student. 2 of those years were spent dating a sous chef who taught me some of what I know.”

“I’m sure this sous chef would be happy to know you use these techniques so well.”

“We could only hope,” Expertly, you avoided giving that a full response that would push the topic of your ex. “Where did you learn to cook, Mr. Nanami? I’m sure you are amazing with a Bosch in your kitchen.”

Nanami walked behind you, reaching for two bowls out of the cabinets and placed them next to you. “My grandfather wanted me to be self sufficient once I moved out on my own.” He slowly opened the silverware drawer, pulling out a pair of forks and knives. “And cooking in itself is its own therapy for me.”

You finished placing the grilled chicken in the salad bowl and handed over the tongs to Nanami. “How does cooking make you feel?”

He looked down at the tongs, his heart fluttering with an anxiety he couldn’t place. His eyes found you. “Do you think I can?”

“I’m right here,” you slid one of the eating bowls directly next to him and smiled. “What does cooking do for you?”

Nanami put his eyes back onto the salad and took a deep breath. He grabbed the tongs, gripping them, feeling the cold stainless steel rest in the part of his palm that still had feeling. “Cooking requires me to pay attention. Smell, sounds, how my food is looking.”

He widened the tongs, lowering them into the salad and tossing it lightly, as if he’d harm the lettuce if he placed any pressure.

“What do you usually cook with?” You noticed his hesitance in squeezing the tong tips together, his grip faltering as he exhaled from frustration. “I’m going to hover my hand below yours. Claw extension. Only if you need it.”

Nanami closed his eyes, slowly breathing out as he tried to not lose his momentum. “Garlic. Fresh minced garlic.” He tried again, slowly working his hands closed until he had salad gripped between the flat tips. He carefully moved it over to the dish, hand shaking but making it with no spillage. “I prefer to mince it and store it in water. Taste great every time.”

You smiled as he looked at you for a hint of validation and gave a nod of acknowledgment.

He moved the tongs back to the serving bowl with a glimmer of determination in the way he rolled his shoulders back. He grabbed more and placed it into the bowl, releasing a with a bit of force before sitting the tongs down. “I think I want a bit more tomato.”

Fork in hand, trying to pin down a slice of tomato so he could cut it. His right hand hovered awkwardly, meant to steady the cutting board, but his left — the one gripping the fork — trembled just enough to betray him.

The fork slipped.

The tomato skidded to the side, smearing juice across the surface. His jaw tightened, but he said nothing.

You didn’t speak either. You knew better than to rush in with help he hadn’t asked for yet.

He reset the slice, pressing the fork down again. His grip was too tight — his knuckles pale from the strain — but the tremor in his fingers wouldn’t let up. The fork scraped against the board, missing the tomato entirely this time.

A sharp pain ran through his forefinger and he dropped the fork, cursing under his breath as he massaged his purlicue.

His gaze stayed locked on the tomato, his shoulders tense.

“You did good. You and the tongs are quite the dynamic duo.”

Nanami felt a heated tear well in his eye before he sucked it back in. “This. Its all so hard sometimes. A fork? I can’t hold a damn fork and its been months.”

He needed to let the frustrations out. It was going to be the only way he could get over those hurdles to feeling whole again.

You stood in silence for a moment, giving him space to process and feel. “Don’t give yourself a timeline but do give yourself grace.”

“Is this all worth it?” You weren’t sure if he was talking to you or himself until he took a few steps back and leaned against the counter looking at you. “Will I be the same person I was before all this? Because I feel like even when I’m giving 200%, I’m failing with no progress.”

“This feels like it’s never going to get better,” Nanami said, his voice low — almost too calm, but there was an edge to it. A rare crack in the carefully composed man standing next to you.

The words hung between you both, heavier than the silence.

You gave him a moment before you spoke. “It’s frustrating,” you said softly. “I know.”

Nanami’s jaw shifted, his lips pressing into a firm line. He didn’t respond right away, as if letting the admission sit out in the open was already more than he was prepared for.

His hand flexed at his side — open, then closed — before, at last, he exhaled through his nose. “Can you help me?”

The question was quiet, but it felt like a victory in its own right.

You nodded, letting him take a few steps forward before stepping in slowly so he had the chance to pull back if he wanted. When he didn’t, you picked up the fork, steadying the tomato with your other hand. The prongs sank into the skin with a soft pop — a simple act, but weighted with everything unspoken.

Nanami’s hand hovered near yours for a moment, then dropped back to his side.

He didn’t thank you, but the small, almost imperceptible nod he gave was enough.

You didn’t push for more words. Instead, you handed him the knife, stepping back just far enough to let him reclaim some of the space —he had let you stand just a little closer, and it was a sign that he was willing to let you in to help.

[bittersweetresilience]

one of my favorite things to do in limited perspective is write sentences about the things someone doesn't do. he doesn't open his eyes. he doesn't reach out. i LOVE sentences like that. if it's describing the narrator, it's a reflection of their desires, something they're holding themselves back from. there's a tension between urge and action. it makes you ask why they wanted or felt compelled to do that, and also why they ultimately didn't. and if it's describing someone else, it tells you about the narrator's expectations. how they perceive that other person or their relationship. what they thought the other person was going to do, or thought the other person should have done, but failed to. negative action sentences are everything.

[noknowshame]

always a fun time when real life people are doomed by their own narratives. like guys you know it doesn’t have to be like this right? this isn’t a stageplay the foreshadowing isn’t real until you make it real

[mephistowo]

All of this is just hitting the nail on the head. I see Mephiles as the most tragic character. There's no happy resolution, and it was nothing but tragedy after tragedy.

Being loved and giving love in return to both the ruler and citizens of Soleanna, as Solaris. Only for the duke to spit in Solaris' face, just because they refused to give mortals the ability to bend time and history. Mephiles and Iblis are split and experimented on, for god knows how long. Locked away, in whatever void the scepter has, for 10 years. Then after failing in his efforts to erase everything he's trapped in white space.

Yeah he killed Sonic and wanted to destroy reality, but fucking hell what do you expect after psychologically and physically torturing a god for over a decade?? And having it be from those you helped and cared for on top of it all! You really think Mephiles would be willing to collaborate with any mortal again, when he and Iblis are a direct product of that collaboration to begin with!

So uh. Cw for psychological torture (specifically white room torture/sensory deprivation). Sorry chat but I've seen no one acknowledge this

is anyone going to acknowledge the fact that the sonic franchise canonically subjected a character to white room torture for like 20 consecutive years and he kinda just hasn't been let out

Because assuming after Generations all the structures in the White Space returned to their time and are no longer in there, it means Mephiles has been stuck in 100% white sensory deprivation hell since 2006 with only one instance where he actually got any sort of relief from that. And gens was in 2011, which a lot of people forget in Meph's case because of shadow gens releasing this year. So what we saw of him then was meph in 2011, not 2024. And although it probably wasn't as long between all the games, as far as I'm aware we can't tell how long the whole franchise has taken so far, so unless we do have that information all I can say is that Gens probably took place in the original game's release year and he's been in there for nearly 20 years 😭 for a guy who was just trying to fix himself (admittedly, he was going about it in some shitty ways but also like fuck dude do you really expect a tortured, split, half god to be making decisions that align with everyone's morals) that is CRAZY???? LET HIM OUT HELLO HE PROBABLY DOESNT EVEN KNOW HIS OWN NAME ANYMORE

Especially considering the last thing he was told was "there is no future for you. Ever." That was probably rotating in his mind for AGES he probably hasn't forgotten the words but has forgotten all semblance of what they mean. man I knew IDW went into psych horror genre but I didn't realise the GAMES did it 😭😭😭 meph they will never make me hate you

For reference. This is what the Wikipedia page on white room torture says that's relevant to this.

😭meph... Set him free... Sega I beg of you

Alternatively, what the fuck is Infinite doing inside the Phantom Ruby is he going through the same thing

I'm aware that the "stick them in the universe back corner jail" is story code for "keep them out unless we feel like bringing them back" but also Sega you've accidentally back cornered this guy into either needing one HELL of a redemption/recovery storyline or just never appearing again and literally fucking dying in there. Dissolving or some shit. Let him OUT😭