#Headcanons: Food

[nouverx]

"I want to eat you" is their love language and you can't change my mind

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

batfam meets the JL but it’s just the bat kids breaking into the watch tower during a debriefing or meeting to ask bruce the most mundane questions. they go about it like they’re interns that need to speak to the CEO during a board meeting. they walk over waving their hands and mouthing “i’m so sorry just need to ask batman something 😬” and then they lean over to bruce and ask something like “alfred wants to know if you’re gonna be home for dinner” and then they dip.

one of them started this when bruce didn’t answer their texts (it was probably tim or something) and now everyone does it.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations

[fairsweetlonging]

headcanon that shen qingqiu (yuan) once yanked his plate away when someone reached for it and yue qingyuan got all teary eyed about it because his xiao jiu still has food insecurities and the memory loss must have made it worse, and he keeps getting shen yuan snacks and treats that he can squirrel away because yue qingyuan knows what it's like to worry about where your next meal comes from, and he's trying to help by ensuring that shen qingqiu is never without

meanwhile shen yuan has never truly been hungry but he did have two older brothers and a younger sister who would shamelessly steal things from his plate when they grew up and the instinct to protect his food has never left him so he WILL bite someone when they reach for his protagonist-made spring rolls

[notherpuppet]

Day 5: Domestic 🍎 🦌

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

[rannnem]

TWINRUNES FANART I SPENT ALL AFTERNOON ON!

It's how I think Kris would look like as a 16-17 year old (iirc they're roughly 14 in TR). I'm dying to do more fanart of this slightly older TR!Kris design so I'll totally make more

Twin Runes by @akanemnon their artstyle is so gorgeous i hope I did it justice

[machveil]

okay wait, because I was immediately struck with more Boyfriend!König after posting this

Boyfriend!König who comes home from a deployment - he reeks, he’s sore, everything aches and he feels like death. but, as soon as the door clicks shut behind him his eyebrows furrow. somethings cooking and it smells familiar. he’s kicking his boots off at the door and shrugging his coat off as he walks towards the kitchen. and there you are, standing next to the stove with a spoon held up to your lips, listening to music and unaware of his presence

Boyfriend!König who coughs, not wanting to startle you with his sudden presence. it’s worth it though, seeing you look over at him, eyes lighting up as you practically tackle him for a hug. it’s a sweet, short moment, but König’s eyeing the stovetop. when you let go you excitedly tell him you’re making dinner, something special since he’s been gone for a couple weeks. “You can’t look! It’ll ruin the surprise— uh, actually, maybe take a shower. I’ll call you when it’s done, okay?”, he chuckled at your rushed words, moved towards your bathroom when you gave him a gentle shove

hair wet and dressed in some ratty sweatpants, Boyfriend!König comes back to the kitchen while toweling off his hair. the scent from the kitchen is stronger than when he came in, but it’s nothing compared to what’s on the counter. he freezes, a little wobbly when he puts his foot down and looks at the food. tafelspitz. and suddenly that familiar smell registers in his head, his mama’s cooking. you had called her regularly while he was deployed, spent every other day learning how to cook some of König’s childhood favorites

Boyfriend!König whose eyes get watery when he starts eating because, oh, it tastes exactly how his mama makes it. he hasn’t been back home in a year and a half - purely from bad timing and deployments - and he’s missed his mama’s food so much. König who gets up from the table, walks over to you while chewing and hugs you, not giving you the chance to stand up or properly hug him back. as soon as he swallows he’s babbling ‘thanks you’s and kissing the crown of your head, murmuring how ‘you didn’t have to’. he’s got you in a death squeeze, eyes closed as he presses his nose to your hair, “Ich liebe dich— you’re too good to me, Liebling.”

[living-dead-guyy]

I’m going insane I want to eat it so bad

[zephyrchama]

It is said that at times when a choice has to be made, everyone has an angel and a devil on their shoulder. These beings will try to influence a person's morals for right or for wrong.

You thought it was an exaggeration or something that only happened in cartoons. Yet here you stand, in the middle of a market trying out new foods, with Lucifer over one shoulder and Simeon over the other. They're arguing about which treats you should buy. As calm, rational adults, they aren't raising their voices or coming to blows. They're not making a scene at all. But there's a certain fire in their eyes and a stubbornness not to back down, keeping the two of them competitively breathing down your neck until you've made a choice.

"This one is similar to what I made you last week." Simeon points to a high-quality product on the top shelf.

"It's expensive. For that price, you can get two of these." Lucifer points to another product on a lower shelf. "I know you'll like them."

"That's too much. We can't have you getting sick from overeating. How about this? It's fluffy and light." Simeon tries to put a snack in your hand.

Lucifer knocks the angel's arm aside and puts his own recommendation in your hand. "This is made with rare ingredients from across the Devildom. You won't get a chance to try it again."

Two iron grips take hold of your shoulders as Simeon and Lucifer smile at each other. Two irked and vaguely threatening smiles, void of actual positive emotion. You consider just buying a keychain instead.

[buggachat]

does anyone else form their headcanons of marinette and adrien largely on the basis of "they have to be opposite each other"? like, creation and destruction, yin and yang, etc. like Marinette being late all the time and sleeping through her alarms? so she's probably a deep sleeper? So that means, by the laws of my lovesquare headcanons according to my brain, Adrien has to be a light sleeper. Marinette is a chaotic creative person and I can imagine her just having so much STUFF all around and living in organized chaos. so therefore Adrien likes his spaces neat and clear. (also something something creation and clutter vs destruction and emptiness) you know??? ???? ? adrien and marinette headcanons just cant be independent of each other in my brain. they are always intrinsically linked

[incorrectbatfam]

Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?

[Wayne Enterprises]

Tim: Finally, time for my break.

Tim: *opens his mini fridge*

*dozens of apples fall out*

———————

[the library]

Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*

Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*

Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.

———————

[day patrol]

Duke: *opens his lunchbox*

Duke: *sighs*

Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*

Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*

———————

[West-Reeve Middle School]

Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.

Jon: ...

Jon: Deal.

———————

[Bludhaven]

Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.

Jason: *hands him a bag*

Dick: What'd you get?

Jason: A frozen turkey. You?

Dick: *opens it*

*fire alarm goes off*

[heartfullofleeches]

The Manager at Fast Food Reader's workplace accidently taking too many of their memories whilst keeping their favorite employee from losing their marbles - reverting FF from jaded, exhausted person they are now back to the sweet, clueless cashier they were when they first started working there. The angst would be so good....

-

The Janitor: Y/n?....

Fast Food Reader: [laughs] That's my name! Wonder where this badge came from - i already had it on when I came in.. Anyway, it's so nice to meet you!.... Why do you have a sticky note attached to your face?

[The Janitor runs off as Reader reaches to touch their face.]

-

The Bathroom Succubus: The joke's not funny anymore.... Seriously, dude- you're scaring me...

Fast Food Reader: I'm sorry... I really don't know you.

The Bathroom Succubus, sobbing: You didn't even call me an asshole... IT'S LIKE IM A STRANGER TO YOU!

-

Fast Food Reader: H-hey guys! I think there's something wrong with whoever's wearing the mascot suit.

[Lambchop clings onto FF'S legs - huffing and puffing as they attempt to nudge Reader's hands over their horns.]

-

Fast Food Reader: Hey, boss... The ice cream machine makes a weird sound when I use it.. When I pull the handle it almost sounds like... moaning?

-

Fast Food Reader: Whoa! We have a clown mascot too? That's sick! How do you get your arms to bend like that?

Twister, hugging Reader to its chest: This. This is mine now.

-

[FF Reader runs out of the play area, terrified]

Fast Food Reader: There's something in the ball pit! I think it.... tried to rub my shoulders?!!

The Bathroom Succubus, holding a plastic knife to the manager's throat: If you don't fix my partner in crime somebody's gonna start losing fingers.

[ohmygraves]

simon doesn't have any preference when it comes to food. to him, it's more of "i just need to fill my stomach for now" instead of whatever it is people were yapping about palate and cuisine. he doesn't really care, food is food. that being said, of course certain things he will have to push away.

dairy gets him a little rumbly, unfortunately. not to the extend that he would be hurting madly, just enough to get his stomach rumbling. bananas are too mushy and tastes odd, but he'd still eat it (he will just shove it down as quick as possible, the case with yogurt too). he's not a big fan of garlic as well, but he'll eat if it's a little. something about a massive amount of garlic and his mask doesn't really mix well together.

still, of course, everything changes when you're cooking it.

he finds himself slowly getting better at... well, slowing down. you made food for him, taking the time to cook something you thought he'd enjoy. the least he could do is to just sit down and savor everything before shoving it down his throat.

simon loved your garlic bread. it stinks his breath because you used a lot of garlic, even rubbing some of the raw garlic on it because you loved it so much. he didn't mind, just means he'll have to brush his teeth really well. your pastas were also amazing too, and he'd have to make sure to brush his teeth really well before wearing his mask again every time you dropped it off for his lunch.

you made the tasties banana bread. just the subtle hint of sweetness that compliments his tea well. moist, just like the banana pancakes you make once a week. sometimes he even forgot that it has bananas in it.

simon didn't think that he's into soy milk, some smells a little funky if not processed correctly, but the one you made? he'd guzzle it down, maybe asking for seconds, especially after he knows how labor-intensive the process is.

he loves you, and the fact that you took the time out of the day to cook him something? of course it would be wrong to not savor it. and those things that he would normally avoid? he doesn't think about it much anymore. as long as you made it, he likes it.

[sockmeat]

Alastor gets horny for romance and it's a real treat to witness

The weather gets colder and his behavior gets so much stranger... To others, anyway. You're well aware of this little routine Alastor goes through every year

You know immediately why Alastor is suddenly so much more interested in travelling with you. Normally, he'd simply ask where you were going and send you off easily, but now he's insisting that he goes to your work with you to "protect" you even though you have nothing to worry about

He feeds you like he's an Italian grandma. If he's not with you, he's in the kitchen making something for you, but if he is with you, he's dragging you to the kitchen to make something for you

He gets increasingly nitpicky about your diet and lifestyle. Generally he's a normal amount of annoying with everything you do, but it gets crazy when he's in rut

Suddenly he's insisting that you work too much and he needs to pamper you

He only allows you to eat food that he's made, which tends to be from scratch. How is he supposed to know who made these noodles? Who the hell laid these eggs? Fuck this, he's getting a chicken.

You have a chicken now... Fat Nuggets has a buddy :)

No fast food for you!! Alastor insists he knows a better recipe and will make you forget about the nasty greasy food

He's crazy because he's right, guys

Somehow he does make the food better and now you can't look at it the same anymore

This is only unfortunate when you want a yummy 3 a.m. snack

But now it's 7 a.m. and you may as well have just gone to bed

It's yummy, but is it worth it?

[mushroomates]

the fellowship bbq:

gandalf: arrives last (a wizard is never late), brings the most bizarre things with him. seven hot dogs buns (the exact number needed), a pepper shaker, (they ran out of pepper mid bbq) and fourteen napkins (there was a spill)

gimli: brings the beers. he has a giant ass cooler covers in rock (ha) band stickers as well as national parks. brings like,,., artisanal, local shit. unheard of brands and always fantastic. also brings homemade lemonade which is unironically the best shit ever. (the secret is he adds a pinch salt. the second secret is that the salt is “home grown”

legolas: oh boy legolas. really doing his best to master the art of pasta salad and it’s not going great. has brought: loose, uncooked penne mixed in with oak leaves, a ziplock bag of wet spaghetti and a separate ziplock bag of ranch dressing, three and a half raviolis on a bed of lettuce, and most recently, four different boxes of mac’n’cheese, unopened, and arranged artfully in a stand mixer bowl.

frodo: brings jello. every time. box-ready, red dye 40, un-name brand, jello. it’s the only thing he can reliably make and bring. it’s weirdly a hit every time. mostly because legolas and pippin play a game where they see how much random shit they can stick in it before the jello collapses.

sam: would love to bring the pasta salad but legolas says he has that covered. instead, brings potato salad and fruit salad. also brings the plates, forks, table cloth, condiments, seasonings and fly-covers. also bakes brownies with sprinkles themed per season.

merry: also brings brownies. do not eat merry’s brownies if you are driving or plan to drive within the next three days. pays sam like 20-50 bucks cash (whatever he can grab from his parents before he arrives to the function) because he wants to contribute more but hasn’t figured out how.

pippin: well,,, pippin. if you’re lucky with a giant ass watermelon, uncut. now your job to prep it as you see fit. also has a basket of loose produce he picked from his neighbors garden. there’s like,,,, sixteen cherry tomatoes and a fist full of mint.

boromir: is very protective of his grill. this does not stop merry and pippin from sneaking bites of of the cooking meat. has various “kiss the cook” aprons he cycles through. has a smoker and a grill, separate, brings both if not hosting. serves everyone else first. makes his patties from scratch.

aragorn: (?????) jerky. deer, probably. trail mix, fruit leather, mushrooms. all home made and foraged. sometimes brings baskets of wild blackberries. is more suited to picnics than barbecues. would like to one day man the grill- he can cook meat decently- but boromir won’t let him because he’s to light handed with the seasoning.