#HIGHLY controversial series now

[lottiecrabie]

choose your own smut adventure. part seven – matty healy

previous. start.

You hesitate. There’s a fluttering book of positions in your head, more a dirty collection of fantasies than a concrete list. Matty features in all of them. You blink at him, overwhelmed with choices. He tightens his hold around your hand, forcing you to consider him. His hair is sweaty and unruly, his lips swollen and sticky wet, his eyes dark and piercing. He looks like your favorite renaissance painting; artful, historical, mythical. 

Your eyes greedily devour him. You part your lips, moaning confessionally, “I want to ride you.” Now that the thought sprouts out of your mouth, an excited thrum reverberates through you. It is pleasing just to vaguely imagine behind your eyelids. You don’t want him, you need him. 

Matty makes a little choking sound, but he snaps back quicker than your bold blowjob demand. He doesn’t even faux-humbly make you repeat yourself, pretending to hesitate, to barter. He sees in your hungry gaze that there is no uncertainty in your words. 

“I want you to ride me, too,” Matty whispers. You shiver at his tone, gravely and dangerous. 

He bends down to kiss you. His hands tangle in your hair, stealing the breath out of your mouth, making you lightheaded. Your mind fizzles as you grasp at his shoulders. Your limbs buzz with pleasure like TV static. You spread your legs wider, trying to get some friction going. 

Matty grabs a handful of your ass and makes you grind against his hard cock. You gasp, your mouth leaving his, and roll your head on the pillow. It’s a sinfully delicious feeling; he chuckles lightly in your neck. 

But you don’t want to lay there and take it like usual. You want to blow his mind, change your life. You push on his shoulders, rolling the both of you until you straddle his lap. 

Matty’s curls spill on the pillows. His hands settle on your thighs, spreading wide on the skin. He looks up at you, happy and proud, worshiping. You straighten your back; his eyes fall to your tits. You snort. Still just a man. 

Now that you’re up there, you’re not quite sure what to do. It seems like an overwhelming endeavor, and you feel a ping of pity for all the men in your life who had to have been responsible for both your pleasures, unsuccessful as they were.

“I don’t—” You flush, looking away. Matty frowns at you. “I’ve never— done this. I don’t know how.” 

“Well,” he smiles indulgently, rubbing his thumb on your skin. “It’s a good thing I’m meant to teach you, isn’t it?” 

You chew on your lip, still a bit worried. “It might be bad,” you warn, just in case. 

Matty laughs at that. “I promise it won’t. And, hey, if it really, really sucks, we can switch and try again next time.” 

Next time rings in your head like holy words. You smile down at him, saccharine sweet. “Alright.” Your hands travel from his waist to his chest. Faint hair peppers it. “What do I do?” 

Matty is overexcited, jittery. He paws at your thighs, your waist. You roll your hips into his like he showed you, creating sweet friction that makes you hold back a moan. “Oh, um— Condom first.” 

You still above him. “I’m on the pill. And clean. You?” 

Matty‘s eyes widen. “Yeah—” He tries to fake nonchalance. “Yes. I got tested recently.” Though his fingers dig into your waist, possessive, he still pants out a, “Are you sure?” 

You nod fervently. You’ve never needed someone more than him, never felt raw desire for a man like this. You want all of him, deep inside of you. You can’t wait anymore. You might go totally insane.

You raise on your knees, gripping his cock and lining it up. He groans at the contact, bucking into your hand. “I’m sure,” you breathe. Slowly, you lower yourself on him. 

A strike of pure, hot pleasure goes through your body. You whine at the intrusion. Your cunt throbs around him, and it makes him groan too, practically clawing at your skin. You’ve never felt more right, more complete. 

Your head falls forward to look at him. You can’t stop those pathetic little pants from your mouth. “What now?” You say, but it’s more a high-pitched plea than a real question. 

Matty moans, settling his hands over your hips. He takes a moment to gather his leaking brain, make sense of the two words you asked him. “Just— Just roll your hips like this.” 

His hands move you on his cock, a raking motion that makes your clit hit his pelvis. You mewl on top of him, scrunching your face shut. “That’s it,” he encourages, even if you have yet to do anything. 

When you finally grind on your own, Matty lets go of you. He scratches down your thighs instead, clenching and unclenching his hands like he’s physically stopping himself from taking charge, puppeteering you. 

You giggle a little at this, trying your sloppy rolls, mix-matching the rhythm and sense to figure out what feels best. Ecstasy pools in your belly, pressing against your stomach. You feel loose on your bones. 

But it’s still not enough. Tentatively, you rise up your knees, sliding him out of you to crash back down. Pleasure jolts you. You’re electrified. You make a little surprised scream. Then do it again, and again, chasing that pure bliss. 

“Does that feel good for you?” You ask, looking at him with a worried little frown. He looks euphoric enough, parting his lips with groans and panting in the hot air. Sweaty and flushed and beautiful. 

Matty nods loosely. He’s just as slack as you, just as gone. Good. At least you don’t feel so silly. You speed up your moves, bouncing on his cock. “And this?” You say, but it’s just to tease. The desperate grunt is indication enough. 

“I don’t care either way,” he says. “Just use me.” A powerful thrill shoots up your spine. You fuck him harder, faster. You want to ruin him. “Fuck,” he cries. “I need you to come on my cock.”

“I will,” you pant.

Your knees are growing sore, but you persist, bucking on him until your brain drips down your spine. You want him deeper into you, want him buried so far you never forget the shape of him. 

Your hand rests on his shoulder and you hold yourself up as you lean into him. Your hips angle differently, hitting a new spot over and over. You roll your eyes. 

“Take it,” Matty moans. His hands grab your ass. “You’re so fucking hot.” The praise sings to you. You make a little whine. 

The position quickly grows too tiring. You straighten up again, rolling onto his cock. Matty follows after you this time, sitting up. He paws at your bouncing tits.

You hook your arms around his neck and use him as leverage to push yourself up again. Matty twists your nipple as a silent prize. Those breathy pants in your ears make you lose your head. 

You bite your lip. Your head falls back, baring your throat. Matty takes the opportunity to kiss there, licking and biting and sucking. Claiming you. Your back shivers. You buck on him faster. 

Your eyes shut as pleasure rushes you. It’s all too intense suddenly, feeling him and seeing him. You’re desperate, the end so near you could taste it, yet too gone to properly do anything. Your thrusts are irregular, your hips grow sloppy, and your thighs strain every time you move. 

Matty licks off his bruise. He must feel your diminishing stamina because he breathes, “You take my cock so well.” You nod at him, slack and gone. “You’re doing so good, baby. Just a bit more.” 

To help, Matty slides a hand between your bodies, rubbing at your swollen clit. You gasp. Your head swims in ecstasy, heavy and off-kilter.

He wraps an arm around your waist, grounding you as he fucks into you, following your movements in tandem. “You were fucking made for me,” he whispers in your neck. Kisses it. “I need you to come on my cock now.” You nod, brainless. “Can you do that? Can you come for me, love?” 

“Yes,” you hiss, scrunching your face. You practically strangle his neck with your embrace, using his shoulders as leverage as you buck on him. His finger on your clit doesn’t relent.

“Come for me,” he practically begs. “I need to see you. I need to feel you.” Your hips shudder. Pleasure waves through you, building and building. One hand takes your cheek. “Look at me.” 

You snap your eyes open. His dark eyes meet yours. He’s so intense, so fucking desperate. You whine, he swipes your clit, and you come. 

Your head falls into his shoulder and you give up, letting go. Ecstasy washes you and you don’t bother even grinding into him. Matty holds you up, fucking into you and working through your orgasm as you shake above him, weightless, boneless. You moan his name even after you’re done, like you couldn’t quite believe it was him. 

Matty slows down to a stop, still inside of you. He kisses your shoulder. You laugh, disbelief spinning with the hot bliss. There’s something you want to say, instinctively, but you bite your tongue. 

You raise your head finally, coming back into the world. Matty grins at you, proud and fucked out. You frown at him. “You haven’t come.” You gasp at the realization, trying to slide up him even through your screaming, sore thighs. 

Matty laughs, pulling you back down on him, stopping you. “It’s okay,” he assures. His eyebrows rise suggestively. “There’s something I want to try anyway.”

You cock your head. “What?”

[tiffanys-aus-and-headcanons]

Terrible Visions

A scrambled timeline is a timeline that has proceeded much like ours, except that some particular facet has been mixed up all over the place. For example, in the scrambled timeline we will consider today, our world's fictional stories have been told by different people, and in different ways.

Bryan Lee O'Malley, in this alternate timeline, is best known as the cartoonist responsible for Homestuck, a popular comic series about a group of children who become embroiled in a cosmic-scale video game known as Sburb. Although Homestuck is probably most often associated with the cult classic Edgar Wright-directed film adaptation released in 2016, the comics themselves are highly-regarded, and the film brought a new audience to them. Netflix has commissioned an animated continuation, The Homestuck Epilogues, which is due to be released soon.

Andrew Hussie, on the other hand, is a figure you're likelier to know if you're overly online. His "MS Paint Adventures" series - most notably including Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, which is kind of like Homestuck but weirder and hornier - have firmly remained a fixture of obsessive Twitter fandom culture. It doesn't help that the best-known iteration, Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, is infamous for stretching thousands of pages of meandering digressions out of a simple and focused narrative starting point. Scott Pilgrim fans have developed something of a toxic reputation, which is not entirely deserved - although of course Knives discourse is interminable, and back in the fandom's heyday there were reportedly incidents of fans assaulting each other "for being evil exes".

Scott Pilgrim fandom was very big back in the day, though, and consequently it was a nexus for other creative figures who would go on to surpass Hussie. Perhaps foremost among these is indie developer Toby Fox. He was literally living in Hussie's basement when he produced ROSEQUARTZ, a universally-beloved retro Goonies-like RPG about a human hybrid boy born to a race of gem-based aliens. He's now developing an episodic spiritual successor, RAZORQUEST, with more overtly dark themes. It revolves around an inheritance dispute among a demon-summoning family.

Other foundational figures in this timeline's internet culture include Alison Bechdel, who helped get the webcomic scene started. Although she's now more seriously acclaimed for her personal memoirs, her gaming webcomic Press Start To Dyke, which premiered in 1998, was once everywhere. It had a broad appeal, and at its height, it was common to see even straight guys sharing pages from it. Time has not been especially kind to it, though, and at this point its main legacy is test.png, a meme spawned by one of the comic's most ill-advised pages.

Then there's John C. McCrae, more often known by his pseudonym Wildbow. A prolific and reclusive author of doorstopping "web serials" - long-form fiction published online - McCrae's best-known serial is still his first, Wind, a noir superhero story set in an alternate history where capes are mostly just a subculture of unpowered vigilantes. Wind landed in a culture already rife with comic book deconstructions, like Alan Moore's 2002 graphic novel Worm Turns, but it nonetheless managed to stand out from the pack with its extensive cast of characters and its themes of coordination problems and the end of the world. Later McCrae web serials include Part (the first "Otherverse" serial; an urban fantasy story about a couple who die in a car accident and find that they have become ghosts), Tear (a "biopunk" story set in a collapsing underwater city), Warn (the controversial Wind sequel), and Play (the second "Otherverse" serial, set in a small Indiana town that helps hide a psychic girl from the CIA).

Last and perhaps least, we should discuss J. K. Rowling. Far and away the most famous of any of these authors, Rowling's name is inseparable from the YA series that she debuted with, the Luz Noceda books, which remain her one successful work. Although it was heavily derivative of older fantasy novels - like Jill Murphy's Academy For Little Witches, or Philip Pullman's Methods Of Rationality trilogy - Luz Noceda was still a monumental and unprecedented success in the publishing industry, and the film adaptations were consistent blockbusters. The final book, Luz Noceda and the Watcher of Rain, contained some allusions to a romantic relationship between Luz and her recently-redeemed associate Amity. Rowling confirmed that this was her intent in subsequent interviews and indicated that she had fought her publishers for it; the film would then go on to escalate matters slightly further.

There have been many lengthy and heated online arguments as to whether the references in the book itself constitute text or mere subtext. Whatever your stance on this discourse, a new complication has been introduced recently: although she has put out no official statement on the matter as of yet, it has become quite apparent from Rowling's shrinking network of contacts and her conspicuous silences that she is certainly TERF-sympathetic, and likely an outright TERF herself. For many, this is leading to a critical reevaluation of the social values inherent in the Luz Noceda series; others, to say the least, are holding off on that kind of reappraisal.

Anyway, Scott Pilgrim just beat Luz Noceda in a Twitter poll for Most Gay Media, and people are piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Who is Vegetta?

Had to wait until my hands stopped shaking for this one, I love Vegetta so much. He was recently — miraculously — announced for the QSMP, so here's a rundown for English fans of both who he is and his lore. 

Vegetta777 is a Spanish Youtuber who is one of, if not THE biggest pillar of the Spanish community. He's been doing content for over 15 years now.

He's the creator of the Karmaland series, which he started when he was around Quackity's age.

I cannot emphasize enough: Vegetta doesn't do series or events or tournaments EVER, so him accepting the invitation is a huge deal. This was his exact commentary on it:

Vegetta: Quackity me invitó hace tiempo y le dije que no suelo entrar a series que yo puedo controlar, pero le he dado ese voto de confianza, además le pregunté como sería la serie porque no quería nada competitivo y quackity me dijo que no me preocupara por nada. [...] Si yo confíe en quackity y él confío en mi para Karmaland pues yo le doy ese voto de confianza para esta serie que está haciendo y además se le veía emocionado al chaval, si te soy sincero, Quackity el hijo de Rubius de cierto modo Translation: Quackity invited me a while ago and I told him that I don't usually enter series that I can't control, but I have given him that vote of confidence, I also asked him how the series would be because I didn't want anything competitive, and Quackity told me not to worry about anything (does this confirm QSMP is an RP server? 🤔) [...] If I trust Quackity and he trusts me for Karmaland, well, I give him that vote of confidence for this series he's doing. And also the boy looked excited, if I'm honest, Quackity's the son of Rubius in a certain way. (🥺💕)

Vegetta is very fond of Quackity after interacting with him in Karmaland 5, and he's spoken multiple times about how much Quackity's impressed him. He also said Quackity will be bigger than him someday :') He's very supportive of the new generation, and he spoke highly of Spreen today too.

Vegetta is one of the most talented Minecraft builders out there, and he's fast

While most of the other Karmaland boys were still living in basic houses, Vegetta built a CASTLE within a super short time

Vegetta loves cats. In Karmaland he had an entire cat rescue with 50+ cats (and yes, he’s named every single one of them). IRL, he shares lots of adorable cat photos and videos. 

His skin, like his name, is based on the Dragon Ball character Vegeta. Vegetta777 is basically the yassified version of Vegeta (just like Phil is the yassified version of Uruhara).

In Karmaland 5, Vegetta was a bit of a wizard, and he had a flock of crows / ravens (remind you of anyone?) 

Vegetta is sometimes called "the father of Minecraft", so many people (myself included) are ESPECIALLY excited to see him and Phil interact because they have a lot of similarities.

Vegetta is one of the heroes of Karmaland and the unofficial leader of their group. In terms of lore, he's essentially a demigod / minor god, though it's not as direct as Sapo  Peta's contact with them.

Vegetta is typically a staunch rule-follower, however, since he's not in control of the series, he said: "I feel like Rubius: 'Let's see what I can do to destroy everything, let's look for all the legal loopholes,' get ready Quackity, I'm the new Rubius!" (LMAO)

Vegetta’s the king of “stay in your own lane” he never gets into drama or gets involved in controversies, he just watches the dumpster fires from the sidelines like the rest of us

He almost never wears a shirt in the series (and honestly? Good for him)

His character is also, canonically, absolutely shredded

It's impossible to talk about Vegetta's lore without also talking about Rubius, so buckle in because this one's a doozy. I can't cover everything without this post becoming longer than it already is, but I'll do my best to summarize what I can:

Starting with Karmaland 4 and continuing into Karmaland 5 and beyond, Rubius and Vegetta have created the world's most torturous slow-burn telenovela-esque love story.

Rubegetta (Rubius x Vegetta) is the most popular Karmaland ship that, to some extent, has become an inside joke between the boys and the community. I'll elaborate on this more in Rubius' post.

To simplify years and years of lore and drama, Rubius and Vegetta love each other, but they are incapable of being in an actual relationship. I've talked about it in depth before, but Vegetta said it best in this metaphor-filled exchange with Sapo Peta and Willy: Sapo Peta: I wanted to ask you about your relationship with that Rubius guy. Vegetta: Oh, yes well Rubius likes to be with me a lot, but at the same time he likes to snack everywhere, and he never finishes eating the morcilla (blood sausage). Sapo Peta: So he rejects you? Vegetta: It's not that he rejects me, it's that it doesn't finish clearing up, you know? We could say that our relationship is like a hamburger. WiIIy: You prepare it and he doesn't eat it. Vegetta: Exactly, he doesn't finish you know?

Or, as another person phrased it:

The fault doesn't just lie with Rubius however; Vegetta himself can be pretty oblivious.

In Karmaland 4, despite the fact Rubius and Vegetta had a kid together and got married, it still didn't resolve anything. As soon as the vows were said and they were married, Rubius revealed it was all just a ploy to get Vegetta's diamonds and immediately asked for a divorce.

You can watch a translated animation of the entire wedding here.

In Karmaland 5, after deciding he'd had enough of Rubius' BS, Vegetta decided to marry someone else (Lolito), but Rubius burst in at the last moment to stop the wedding. We all thought he'd finally confess his love and stop being so emotionally constipated, but instead he proposed to Lolito solely so Vegetta would remain single. (They're a mess, what can I say)

To quote a meme shared by another Spanish fan, Vegetta's reaction to that was basically: “You don’t want me to be with you, and you don’t want me to be with someone else. How miserable do I have to be for you to be happy?”

I do want to emphasize that even though Rubius and Vegetta sometimes have relationship issues / communication issues, it doesn’t diminish their friendship in the slightest. Even after both wedding disasters, they were back to speaking to each other the next week, being flirty and laughing together. Yes, they have issues, but their love for each other remains – despite everything.

(I should also note here that, even while engaged to Lolito, Vegetta was still flirty with Rubius).

Vegetta is very close friends with Luzu, who supported him during the fallout from both failed marriages.

In Karmaland 4, Rubius and Vegetta had a son named Brayan Dobluque (a mix of both their names).

There's too much Rubegetta lore for me to cover everything, but Glay has a massive thread of translated Rubegetta clips I highly recommend watching if you'd like more context.

One clip I recommend is the Meteor date, which is one of the few instances where Rubius is honest vis-à-vis his emotions with Vegetta.

As a whole, their friendship / relationship is a romcom novela for sure, but sometimes they'll catch you off-guard with some romantic BS that'll make your heart ache. They really do love each other; they just don't know how to commit.

Vegetta is bi! (Both real life Vegetta and character Vegetta). Pretty much every single character in Karmaland is on the ‘ol rainbow spectrum somewhere.

Lore aside, I feel like Vegetta, and pretty much all the Karmaland boys in general, have the least machismo (toxic masculinity) I've ever seen. They're all genuinely sweet guys who aren't afraid to be flirty and play gay characters in their queer little telenovela Minecraft series. (With the exception of Willy, who we like to joke is the "token straight friend"). Vegetta's a cool guy, and he's a great addition to the QSMP. I'm excited for you all to meet him!

Other info posts:

Who is Sapo Peta? | Who is Luzu? | Who is Spreen?

[thugbiscuits]

september fic rec list 18+ only

please note: none of these fan fictions were written by me. when you read please make sure to like, comment, and reblog. IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

hello again, freaks >:) im really excited for this month's list. down below you'll find pretty much all the best fics (imo), of every category. it’s mostly smut happy reading!

joel miller fics

make it stick(joel miller x reader, smut) @gutsbys i loved getting to read joel’s inner thoughts.. and how nasty they are omg. i 100% need to have his babies, that’s all.

teacher’s pet (joel miller x virgin!reader, smut) @javiscigarette this fic destoryed my pussy and now i want financial compensation. read at your own risk cause whewww the details are too good. also make sure to read BOTH parts ;)

sugar rush (joel miller x f!reader, fluff) @beardedjoel super fluffy, been reading this to get me ready for spooky season and it hits me right in the feels every time

skincare sunday (joel miller x reader, fluff) @hellishjoel ahh taking care of joel? yes please. this fic is so sweet to me, that’s a real doting and caring man 😤

logan howlett fics

sweet (lumberjack!logan howlett x reader) @fairlyang #NEEDTHAT

make him do what i say (older bf!logan howlett x reader, smut) @dollfacefantasy logan with silver winged hair is superior

vis (logan howlett x afab!mutant reader, smut) @ozarkthedog all i’m saying is that fucking logan before work could save my soul idk 🤷🏽‍♀️

both (logan howlett x reader x storm, smut) @selfcarecap why is nobody talking about this, i would like to talk about this!! this had me crying, screaming and gnawing on the bars of my enclosure.

glory box (old man!logan howlett x reader, smut) @rqnarok oh? oh 😏

time after time (logan howlett x afab!reader, smut) @hyper-fixates if you like the ‘3 times you did and 1 time you didn’t trope’ then this is literally a gift from the fanfic gods !! the slowburn, all feels raaah!

handful of roses (logan howlett x reader, angst fluff) @techwrecker the way logan tries to be a good man is more than enough for me. come home the kids miss you :/

primal love (logan howlett x reader, smut) @strangererotica indeed primal, and indeed lovely. logan is such a needy lover, and this fic was written beautifully.

ex!worst logan howlett x reader, smut) @seventeenpins the banter, the audacity of this man, the AUDACITY. i’m hooked on this version of logan so badly

wade wilson (deadpool) fics

trigger control (wade wilson x girlfriend!reader, smut) @librababe99 HEART EYES

getting nasty w/ wade and logan (poolverine x reader, smut) @darnell-la self explanatory. 11/10

three is a charm (wade x f!curvy reader x logan, smut) i say this a lot but if i could physically eat a fanfic it would be this one. no doubt. i’m eating up every crumb of thissss ! @eloquentlytired

husband!wade wilson (wade wilson x fem!reader, smut) @jojissalsa perfect mix of smutty and sweet imo. wade for husband 2024

bucky barnes fics

big dick is back in town (bucky barnes x f!reader, fluff) @brunchable this was so cute (and canon in my mind). bucky has such a sense of humor in this! OP did such and amazing job on this

loverboy (bucky barnes x reader, fluff) @thevillainswhore i need that man down bad and desperate for me always ! this fic was so adorable to read, i love seeing this side of bucky. aaah such a dream

love language (bucky barnes x reader, fluff, smut) @flowersforbucky this was the sweetest thing ever!

hey, babydoll (bucky barnes x reader, fluff) @buckysmischief smoking with your favorite super soldier, what could be better than that?

hugh jackman fics

controversially young girlfriend @whimsiwitchy it’s always a pleasure when bri updates. and if you haven’t been following this series, i highly reccomend! amazing dialogue, great portrayal of hugh and reader’s romance. get this, it has even better smut. that’s all, go read!

training partners @pedroscurls we were fed with this series! hugh is such a sweetheart with reader, and it truly had me kicking my feet and giggling while reading this.

dividers by @/saradika-graphics <3

lovey’s note: i had to add my own thoughts this time around cause phew, this list had me in my feels. feel free to 100% ignore my ramblings, they don’t make sense half of the time 😂

[bg3ficreviews]

Thunder reforged: Rolan x Dammon - #BG3 FanFic Review

Review by Aivu (@aivuthedragon)

Happy timezone, dear readers! Today I'm happy to bring you this incredible series of works by velocitross on AO3. What's hotter than a tiefling wizard with a knack for a well-timed thunderwave? Said tiefling wizard having a rendezvous with his tiefling blacksmith paramour, of course.

A note from the BG3FicReviews team: The entire BG3 community was been rocked by the recent controversy surrounding Dammon's VA, including the various fanwork creators who've fallen in love with Dammon, included him in their work, and are part of the LGBTQAI+ community themselves. We want to express our support and love to Dammon fans, Dammon fan work creators, the LGBTQAI+ community generally and all those adversely affected by what's happened. As such, we have decided to feature such works in our reviews this week. Make your love louder than the hate. 💜

As always, mind the tags! Our review is continued below the fold due to the NSFW nature of the content in these works.

This incredible artwork by @arczism was inspired by velocitross's Rolan x Dammon fic Working Steel, which is included in today's review.

Working Steel, the first of velocitross’ three works that include this rare pair, is a masterwork in character portrayal. The author adeptly captures the at-a-glance somewhat incompatible personalities of the two tiefling refugees who fled Elturel together and now reside in Baldur’s Gate. In this work, the relationship between Rolan, the ever-surly wizard and the newly ‘appointed’ master of Ramazith Tower, and Dammon, the gentle yet infernally talented blacksmith of the Forge of the Nine, has grown far beyond mere friendship.

Rolan, frustrated by his attempts to catalogue the mindless chaos remaining after the untimely death of the tower’s former owner, approaches Dammon to ask for his help and visits him at his forge. But what could a blacksmith possibly offer a wizard? Well, a good fuck, for one thing. Rolan is pent-up, impatient, and needs a good lay. And, it turns out, so does Dammon. The smut that ensues is not only blazingly hot but also beautifully captures the tender affection between the two tieflings through not only their words, but small, unique gestures of love and care. (Mind the tails. I mean, tags. No, tails.)

In Up in the Tower, it’s Dammon’s turn to visit the wizard’s domain. But the blacksmith receives a less-than-warm welcome, as the ever-grumpy Rolan becomes highly annoyed at having his work interrupted. But considering Rolan is dressed in little more than his underwear and an open robe, I’m more than willing to forgive him for his surliness. Dammon, however, being the sweet, gentle soul that he is, insists on taking care of Rolan beyond his carnal needs alone. In this work, the relationship between the pair deepens, and the author has wonderfully captured the intimacy of the pair. Lastly, we have Within the Storm. This work takes us back to the Shadow-Cursed Lands as the tiefling refugees attempt to cross its desolate lands on their way to Baldur’s Gate. When the Absolute’s forces ambush the group, Rolan expertly wields his magic to stave them off. But when something happens to Zevlor, the battle takes a turn for the worse. In the chaos, Rolan’s siblings, Cal and Lia, are kidnapped and several of his friends and co-travellers are brutally murdered.

Once at Last Light Inn, Rolan is a fucking mess, devastated by his siblings’ capture. Lost in the depths of his despair and way too much drink, the tiefling wizard finds comfort in the arms of a fellow refugee he’d known since childhood - Dammon. And thus the gentlest embers of affection between the pair begin to spark to life. This lovely one-shot serves as a prelude to the author’s much-anticipated long fic about the pair, their growing affection for one another and what looks to be a truly beautiful love story. If you would like to follow velocitross’ incredible work about the love between a tiefling wizard and blacksmith, please be sure to subscribe to the author on AO3 and follow their work and the pending long fic. We have included a snippet of Working Steel below for your enjoyment. As always, please support the writers of our incredible fandom by leaving kudos and comments on their work. 🫶

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Working Steel

By velocitross on AO3

The ring of his hammer fills Dammon’s ears and his attention as he works. A soft frown of focus curves his lips. It’s a simple enough repair—restoring a blade for the halfling woman standing outside the forge watching him work. Still, there’s a satisfaction to it: the rhythm of his strikes, the heat of the day in Baldur’s Gate warming him beneath his layers of apron and clothing. The ordinary busy noise of the city goes on just outside his focus, a subtle, stabilizing comfort even months after the Netherbrain’s defeat.

When he glances up from his work, a distinct figure catches his eye amongst the passersby. Rolan, with his proud bearing and his regal blue and red robes, coming toward the smithy with a tense, bothered scowl and his tail lashing behind him. A smile touches Dammon’s lips. He knows that look.

“I’ll be with you in a moment,” he says as Rolan comes to a stop an awkward few feet from the halfling waiting on her sword.

“Well, don’t take too long,” Rolan snaps, and then reddens further when Dammon raises an eyebrow at him. “Sorry. I’ll just—I’ll wait.”

Dammon lifts the blade off his anvil to study it. He smiles at the halfling as he passes her the sword.

“Give that a try. Come back if you need anything else.”

She moves off to the side to examine the blade, allowing Rolan to step up to the forge. He stands, arms crossed, his face flushed as he fixes Dammon with his bright yellow stare.

“Anything I can help you with, Rolan?” the blacksmith prompts.

Rolan sighs. He places his hands carefully on the edge of the anvil, glances again toward the halfling woman, and leans in toward Dammon.

“I need . . . Steel.”

Dammon breathes a good-natured chuckle.

“Come on,” he says, nodding over his shoulder toward the building. “I could use a break, anyway.”

[telomeke]

WANDEE GOODDAY EPISODE 2

WDGD Ep.2 was a pleasant enough watch, continuing the lightness of Ep.1 and laying the groundwork for the episodes to come.

It's too early to be sure in what direction they're going to be taking this series, so I'm not looking too closely at things just yet.

And I've never gotten a sense that Director Golf has quite the same penchant for intellectual gamery that other directors (like Khun Aof Noppharnach) have, so WDGD might turn out to be not much more than a straight-up recounting of a romance (and that would be fine too). Nonetheless we are getting glimpses (little sparks really) of details tucked in here and there that suggest the series may yet narrate other messages on a deeper level in future episodes.

Director Golf is known for their political awareness (having spent time as the first trans politician in the Thai Parliament's House of Representatives), and this leaning was abjectly manifest when they directed The Eclipse. I'm not seeing the same heavy-handedness in WDGD though (and I think that's a good thing).

Part of me is wondering if the highly unusual method of determining who gets the orthopedic scholarship (patients and staff will get to vote on this, really? 👀) will re-surface later as a comment on the Thai political situation (always a rollicking ride). No guarantees, but odds are pretty good on this one.

Just a reminder that Khun Golf was ejected from Parliament through the application of a controversial law (banning lawmakers from having shares in any media companies), the same one I think that was also used to help obstruct Pita Limjaroenrat from becoming PM even though his Move Forward Party won the most votes in last year's election (it's also Khun Golf's political party). So any time the democratic electoral process gets referenced in a Thai BL (see this example linked here), the chances are high that the canvas is being primed for a political painting of some sort.

Anyway, just some light-hearted observations for now:

The novel that WDGD the series is based on is (by most accounts) quite trashy and throwaway, but you wouldn't know it watching Episodes 1 and 2 so far. The set-up out the starting gate was so squarely and comically blue-collar v. white collar, brawn v. brains, half-naked sweaty men v. lavender-scrubsuited physicians that I wasn't expecting to get much more than a shallow good time with a lot of tittering at man tits and macho tushies. But they've elevated the source material, imbuing it with a gentle sentimentality and treating the sexual element with humor and good sense (e.g., the condom and lube talk in Ep.1, and the discussion between YY and Dee establishing the ground rules for their Friends with Benefits arrangement). Quite impressively done, especially considering the lightness of its touch.

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [4/4] 6.28 – YY and Dee discuss the ground rules for their Friends With Benefits arrangement, against the backdrop of a neon sign that loudly proclaims "Less Expectations More Satisfaction" (which is, of course, the most basic ground rule for any FWB liaison)

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About that sentimentality: WDGD's glowing emotional core continues to take the unlikely form of Yoryak, and Great seals the deal with his performance in Wandee Goodday's quieter moments.

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [3‌/4] 2.23 and the return of the wet towel trope – Yoryak and the neon sign above the bed demonstrate together how love in action speaks louder than words

The tough kickboxer has fallen hard for Dee, and you can really read the tender pining behind his muay thai bravado. (I think he does lovelorn yearning better than outright lust though.)

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [3‌/4] 3.53 – Yoryak plants a little sniff-kiss as he embraces a barely-conscious Dee in bed; he's fully-clothed, yet far more naked and vulnerable than when they were actually having full-on sex before

There's surely going to be emotional devastation in store for Yak because a Friends With Benefits arrangement soon becomes a wrecking ball to the heart if you're unlucky enough to have caught feelings. And things can only get worse for our dear boy once he and Dee enter into their fake dating phase. Can you imagine coping with all that physical intimacy and also having to display emotional intimacy in public, but then being forced to deny it in private where you want it the most? Only pain looms on the foreseeable horizon for our macho fighter (su su na!), but it should make for some mightily delicious and pleasurably guilty viewing as he journeys through it all (if only for the payoff at the end; Golf please don't fail us! 😬).

‌

There have been cameos and callbacks galore in just these two episodes. The hospital is named Tanwarin, which is also Director Golf's formal first name and this may mean they've cast themselves in the role of a healer here, with this series.

There are also the clips of The Eclipse that our boys watch onscreen (possibly foreshadowing some more political commentary to come).

And screenwriter Yokee Apirak Chaipanha (who also did The Eclipse with Director Golf) guests as Dr. Apichart, the head of the Orthopedic Department.

Of course Ep.2's Café for All is also a callback to The Eclipse (it was prominently featured in there as well, with Director Golf in a cameo as the black-and-white clad proprietor/server).

(top) The Eclipse – Ep.4 [3‌/4] 4.31; (bottom) WDGD Ep.2 [3‌/4] 7.28

And my read then was that The Eclipse, just like the café with Khun Golf at the helm, was meant as a welcoming, non-judgemental space for reflection on LGBTQ+ issues. Possibly the same is being said for WDGD here, though its general unseriousness doesn't seem quite the same or even an appropriate forum for any discussion of weight. Perhaps like in the second appearance of Café for All, what's being served up here in WDGD seems to be less heavy drama and more fluffy confection. Not that there's anything wrong with that! 🍰👍

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Another possible cameo that's caught my eye – the oft-referenced, once heard but never seen Dr. Nop.

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [2/4] 0.50 – Yoryak looks disappointed when the nurses tell him they've switched his physician from Wandee back to Dr. Nop (while his t-shirt proclaims "Heart Melt")

I can't help thinking that this is a reference to Aof Noppharnach Chaiyahwimhon, who's on hiatus from GMMTV directorial duties for the time being. He's cameo'd as a Nop before (see these write-ups linked here and here) and this may be a reference to his being unseen, but still acknowledged and not unheard during his present time off (I've written about possible reasons for his time away, in this write-up linked here).

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Others have pointed out before I could do it, but yes cleaning the refrigerator does refer to rimming in Thai slang. 😂

(above) Wandee Goodday Ep.2 [4/4] 9.33 – YY turns up at Dee's unit 609 (possibly a reference to 609 Bedtime Story, that was also created by Director Golf and screenwriter Yokee Apirak) appropriately togged out with a gas mask, goggles and bodysuit, all ready to give Wandee's "fridge" a thorough scrub and rub

This thread on the Pantip forum (linked here) explains the term. And the same thread also explains that washing the dishes can mean either sloppy seconds or oral, which lends weight to Li Ming's laang jaan comeback to Jim as payback for infantilizing him during the market scene in Moonlight Chicken:

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OK, so I didn't find anything truly earth-shaking about WDGD Ep.2, but that's typically the case for second and third episodes in any series while they set things up for plot developments to come.

Still, Wandee Goodday is already glowing with a comforting warmth, peppered with light comedic turns even as it foreshadows darker shifts in the future. I hope they build on the solid foundations of Episodes 1 and 2, and serve up the remaining ten episodes ripened to their fullest potential (because there's lots in there they can play with). Here's to hoping! 🥰

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[sosuigeneris]

Socialite Series: Cherry’s Master Post

Things that have helped me, that could help you. Here is a master list of my softmaxxing journey!

Body:

J*hn Bent*n’s workouts: Yes he’s an asshole but his workouts really do work. He used to train models and his workouts are life changing.

2. B-12 Lipo salines: These you can consume in a shot (like an injection) or in a saline (go to a GOOD DOCTOR for this). I prefer the saline, and my doctor recommended the 6 week course for me (one saline every week). It burns subQ fat and that was the main reason why I began using those. There is zero side effect to these, acc to my doc.  edit: don’t really recommend these anymore. I’ll update this list when I finish my Emsculpt.

3. Diet: More protein, more vegetables, more water and lesser intake of carbs. Carbs are important but i used to over-consume them. Cutting down has helped me a lot. I also did a gut bacteria test (you basically sent a piece of your shit to a lab and they analyse it) to understand what foods worked for me and what didnt. 

4. Probiotics for metabolism management 

5. Measuring: I stopped tracking weight and began tracking body fat % instead. I feel that this works better for me. 

6. Wood therapy: I KNOW. You lot will think its bogus but it helped me and im sticking to it, so there. There’s no wood therapy spa near me, so i ordered the wood therapy tools from amazon, plastic wrap, a waist trainer, almond oil. I looked up videos on wood therapy and lymphatic drainage, and i do it for about 5 mins on my tummy and thighs before my work outs, wrap my torso with plastic wrap, throw the waist trainer on top. 

✨

Skin:

Accutane: this helped me tremendously with my acne and my skin is 95% blemish free now. If you are taking this, remember to be disciplined and regular. 

Zero alcohol: I stopped drinking completely and its done my skin and health wonders.

Products: Sunscreen + Vitamin C combo in the AM. Retinol + moisturiser at night. Recommended by my dermat. 

Hair removal: I refuse to shave because its so uncomfortable so i prefer to wax once in 2 months. Personally, when I began exfoliating my body twice a week - I use a scrub by the Body Shop - I noticed that the hair was growing back slower than it used to. I use a loofah for everyday too. I don’t believe in laser because it’s never just 6 sessions; you do have to have “maintenance” sessions as well post the 6.

Face sculpting: Gua sha on alternative nights. I dont know if this works or is placebo, but I felt like it did. 

Body lotion every day. Twice a day sometimes. I swear, it makes you smell good and feel so soft. 

Expensive make up: specially, foundation. I’m sorry, i know this could be controversial. But idk what cow semen Charlotte Tilbury puts in her make up, it seriously makes me glow. I’m yet to find a good drug store alternative. A while back, I stopped wearing concealer, and I began using a lighter shade of CT’s foundation as concealer over my normal shade. I feel that because the products are chemically the same, they blend better and don’t react and “peel.” Highly recommend that too. For the rest of my face like powder, blush, eyeliner, I do use normal drug store make up.  

✨

Oral hygiene:

I used to have braces. After taking them off, I noticed a difference in my jaw.

Brush, floss, Listrine, tongue cleaner

Mild whitening. I think Hollywood level teeth whitening looks crazy and I want to look as “naturally” beautiful as possible.

✨

Hair care:

For hair growth: as recommended by my doc: minoxidil hair foam 5% w/w Tugain Foam.

High frequency wand before wash days on my scalp. 

Moroccan hair oil. I use a tiny amount everyday on my ends after I finish my make up for the day and I swear it makes my hair shine like crazy.

I also got hair Botox done because i used to have curly but absolutely unmanageable hair. I tried to make it work for years but i gave up and caved in to having permanent straight hair and I love it. 

I only shampoo twice a day so on days when i workout but don’t shampoo, i use hair perfume. I spray some of it on my brush and run it through my hair. I swear it works. 

✨

Overall:

The colour palette theory seriously works. I didn’t realise that wearing the right colours can impact you so much.

Confidence is absolutely key. I seriously recommend going to a group class of some sort if you have the time and just mingling with random people. Social situations are important to gauge your “standing.”

Random but if you have a big nose: grow out your eyebrows / fill them in slightly thicker. I noticed that when I had thin eyebrows, my nose would stand out more but when I made them thicker, it balanced my face out better. 

Steam iron your clothes before you wear them. You will look 100% put together. 

*IF* you’re aesthetically challenged when it comes to picking clothes, use my rule of thumb: never wear any more than 3 colours at once  (remember: IF you can’t put outfits together). 

[gartenofbanny]

WARNING: DIRTY-ISH IMAGES IN THIS BLOG

Guys, I have a confession to make. I believe Sallie May is one of the most overrated characters in Helluva Boss.

I don’t believe she’s overrated simply because she’s trans. It’s just for a different reason that I will explain shortly, but first who is this character I'm talking about?

Who is Sallie May?

Sallie May is Millie’s sister who debuted in Hell of a Boss Episode Five, the Harvest Moon Festival. After some time after the release of the episode she was pretty popular among the Hell of a Boss fandom

So what're my thoughts about her overall? Well, Sallie May is a character, that's pretty much it. I don't have any opinions on her as a character because she isn’t fleshed out. She is Millie's sister who is transgender, that's really what Sallie May is. She looks pretty, but Sallie May doesn't have any standalone character similar to Octavia and Millie.

So that's how I feel about Sallie May, she's overall just a side character. It's cool that they added her to the show, but that's all.

Now that, that's out of the way I'm going to talk about..how Vivziepop and the other creators used her and why I don’t like it. This is going to be pretty controversial for me to discuss so don’t pull out your pitchforks yet.

How Vivziepop and the other creators used her

What I don't like upon Harvest Moon Festival’s release is that a lot of people, including me were not aware that Sallie May was transgender and there was very little indication of that. The only thing that points out that Sallie May is trans is her horns.

As people know, Male imps and Female imps have different patterns for their horns. However, that information is not shared within Helluva Boss.

It requires outside research like in the wikis, Livestreams, or people telling you in order to make sense.

Upon first watching Harvest Moon Festival, I had no idea that Sallie May was transgender until a Reddit post basically told me that she was.

If you're going to have a character with a certain gender identity, establish it within the series. It could've been something simple like a pin of the transgender flag or a button that has the colors of the transgender flag.

The writers of Amphibia did it with Sasha where Sasha had a bisexual heart sticker on her rearview mirror. It doesn't have to be something big, but it can be small and easily noticeable.

I don’t get how people consider Sallie May to be a trans icon when lots of people didn’t even know she was trans in the first place.

Why I believe she's overrated and why she's loved within the Fandom

Now the real question is why do I believe she’s overhyped? Well, simply put it she does not have much screen time overall. Sallie May has around 13 to at most 20 seconds of screentime and Harvest Moon Festival is 17 minutes and 30 seconds long excluding the credits.

Sallie May doesn't make an appearance later on in the episode despite the fact that Millie and Sallie's mom, Lin said that Sallie May would compete in the Pain Games. Not once is Sallie May shown in the Pain Games.

Sallie May also doesn't appear later on in the episode. Viv and Brandon just include her in those couple of seconds and decided "That's all she gets".

But why is Sallie May overrated as a character? Well, it's simple, merchandise.

Despite being a side character, Sallie May is present in a lot of merch. In the Valentine’s and Summer merch sales for Hell of a Boss, Sallie May is highly sexualized.

Sallie May hasn't gone through the transition surgery, which is fine, but the merch puts A LOT of emphasis on that.

What I mean is that…her bulge is showing.

Sallie May's swimsuit and Valentine’s merchandise are clear examples of this, they just let Sallie May’s thing bulge out with no care in the world. Why is it that Sallie May’s bulge is exposing itself in nearly all of her raunchy merch, but none of the characters who identify as males (except for Chaz) are not?

Conclusion

In conclusion, I believe Sallie May is really overhyped because she’s sexualized as hell. I get that people like her because she’s trans and that we have a trans character in Helluva Boss, but then again there are also two other characters in this show that are trans.

And one character in Harvest Moon Festival that is also trans

At least that’s what the horns and hair color imply, but I don’t see the fandom falling head over hills for these two characters.

The trans rep in Helluva Boss sucks, Sallie May has more screen time as merchandise than she does as an actual character. Let that sink in.

I am not transphobic, just stating the truth. Thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a nice day!

(This is basically the transcript version of a video I made not too long ago)

[yuri-is-online]

You Simple Vile Monstrosity: Rook and the Flowers of Evil

My other two dumb history posts have at least a semblance of fun fact to them, but this is mostly going to be literary analysis and some theory. There's some interesting stuff here sure, but I don't really think it adds much to the overall landscape of twst theories. But it does make Rook make more sense to me so I am making this post anyway.

So without further ado, if you are like me and enjoy reading twst theories, you might know that the beginning lines of Twisted Wonderland are something we have been debating the meaning of since the game came out really. While I think we have been closing in on their true meaning as Chapter 7 progresses along, the phrase "Flowers of Evil" can actually refer to something specific: a french poetry collection of the same name (Les Fleurs du mal in french) by a poet name Charles Baudelaire originally published in 1857. The collection was extremely controversial, but today it is highly lauded and has inspired several other literary works, including a manga series by Shūzō Oshimi of the same name. I found out about the poetry collection while working on this request and finally finished reading it... and another essay by Baudelaire for reasons we can talk about later on in the post. For now let's talk poetry.

Beauté! 100 Points!

I don't speak french, so I read an English translation done by Aaron Poochigian that does contain the original french text in the back half of the book. The Flowers of Evil is split into seven-ish parts: The Flowers of Evil (just containing "To the Reader"), Spleen and the Ideal, Parisian Scenes, Wine, Flowers of Evil (again but with 12 poems this time), Revolt, and then Death. The sections are more or less organized by the subject of the poems, Spleen and the Ideal is the largest with Baudelaire musing over what the ideal concept of beauty is while Wine deals with getting drunk (on wine mostly if you can believe it.) One of the things that jumps out very quickly about Baudelaire's work is that his concept of beauty is almost synonymous with his concept of evil. He writes a lot about maggots eating corpses, about decay, he has a few poems that talk about vampires appearing to be the highest form of beauty but really being husks of rotted flesh; it's all very much about this acceptance that evil is a part of life and human nature, so therefore there must be beauty in it. The concept of "ideal beauty" must by it's nature be divorced from the concept of "morality." When Rook talks about the potential for Leona or Malleus to kill him and how beautiful that would be, I think he means the act of destruction itself would be beautiful. The circumstances surrounding it and the consequences of it are irrelevant to the concept; this is also why while he initially says he cannot find the crimson lotuses in GloMas beautiful Deuce accuses him of doing just that after everything is said and done. He cannot find beauty in Rollo's actions, but the visual and the fight are beautiful because of the effort he and the other students put in to stop them. And perhaps most importantly, it's why he is willing to drink Vil's poison and look upon what is supposedly ultimate ugliness and say "In this moment you are the fairest of them all." Because how could an act born out of such raw and genuine emotion be anything but?

Le Chasseur D'Armour, The Hunter of Love

Baudelaire wasn't just a poet, he fancied himself a critic and wrote multiple essays, the one I read for this post is The Painter of Modern Life. Which is actually a collection of several but they are all related, and I was directed to them by this wordpress post. In it, Baudelaire muses over how things can be both beautiful and ugly, and why:

"Beauty is made up of an eternal, invariable element, whose quantity it is excessively difficult to determine, and of a relative, circumstantial element... which severally or all at once, the age, its fashions, its morals, its emotions."

He was talking about fashion plates that depicted outdated costumes, but his point was more or less that if you strictly look at the design of the costume they look ridiculous: ugly. But when you take into account their historical value (these particular plates were all from the around the time of the French revolution) they become exceedingly important: beautiful. He also mentions in this same essay the importance of not just taking into account the opinions of so called "masters" and sneers at people who think they understand what is beautiful just because they have seen a painting done by a professional:

"... to declare that Raphael, or Racine, does not contain the whole secret, and that minor poets too have something good, solid and delightful to offer... that we might love general beauty, as it is expressed by classical poets and artists, we are no less wrong to neglect particular beauty, the beauty of circumstance and the sketch of manners."

In chapter 5, while helping Vil judge the auditions for VDC, Rook gives every audition 100 points because, well, in his mind they are all an example of perfect beauty specifically because they are the work of amateurs, and that is no less valuable to him or less worthy of praise that the work of the master. Now granted he clearly does value professional quality (he did have reasons for voting for Neige other than being a massive simp. Valid ones even if loosing does sting) but that's only in the context of strict rules and guidelines. When Rook is asked for his opinion, while he certainly does believe there is an absolute, academic definition beauty, he doesn't place any value on where that beauty comes from. Baudelaire muses over how human life "accidentally" puts mysterious beauty into the world, and the true appreciator of beauty must make himself not strictly a poet but:

"...an observer of life, and only later set himself the task of acquiring the means of expressing it... For most of us... the fantastic reality of life has become singularly diluted. [But he] never ceases to drink it in; his eyes and memories are full of it."

I strongly dislike suggesting in these posts that xyz is "the definitive reason" for why a character acts the way that he does, but I do think it is very interesting how well this describes Rook's ethos. He thinks of himself as a hunter, but in order to do that he needs to observe. Sure he takes it to exceptionally extreme lengths, but it makes him one of the most lively members of the NRC cast. Baudelaire is right, there are a million things about life we miss on a day to day basis wherein true beauty lies, but Rook sees all of it. His eyes, memories, camera, and secret photo albums are fit to burst with it.

My Noble and Beautiful Flower of Evil

I mentioned the opening text at the beginning of this post, and I stand by my interpretation that the phrase "flower of evil" it uses likely is not a specific reference to any of the poems themselves... beyond the obvious note that it is a collection of poems about finding beauty in, well, evil and most of the characters are based off of villains.

But there was something that started gnawing at me when I read the introduction to my translation, which was written by a poet named Dana Gioia. It was a very well written summary of Baudelaire's life and the significance of his work, but it mentioned a connection that I have seen brought up in twst theorizing before: Edgar Allen Poe.

You see, Baudelaire was obsessed with Poe. To the point that (according to the introduction) "He considered Poe a sacred martyr for art and referred to him as 'Saint Edgar.' In his morning devotions, Baudelaire prayed first to God and then to Poe."

I have nothing to say on that (because really what could you) but the point that Gioia wanted to make in that introduction was that Poe had a massive influence on Baudelaire's writing style. He wrote multiple essays on his work and translated them into French because he felt like Poe deserved the recognition, so while Gioia used this to argue that Poe's influence on Baudelaire shouldn't be underestimated...

I can't find the post, but someone was talking about how Malleus's mother's name Meleanor is very similar to "Lenore" and I recall people sort of brushing that connection off. I don't that name is a coincidence. I think the poem "Lenore" might very well have been something thought about when constructing her character, and that the themes in Poe's work might be very relevant to the overall story of Twisted Wonderland.

Something about ravens and telltale hearts just feels like they fit; maybe we have got it all wrong and Yuu's visions aren't coming from the mirror in Ramshackle, but the floorboards.

Semi- Unrelated Fun Facts:

If you read the name Baudelaire and thought to yourself it sounded familiar, you might have be thinking of the Baudelaire children from A Series of Unfortunate Events. This isn't exactly a coincidence as the author of the series admits to his writing being heavily influenced by Charles Baudelaire to the point he actually wrote the afterword to the translation I own.

Dana Gioia is the former Poet Laureate of the state of California, something that deeply confused me. Apparently the Governor of California appoints someone to a 2 year term and they travel around the state to promote poetry and literacy which is apparently something that 46/50 U.S. states and D.C. does to????

My glorious motherland of Pennsylvania is not one of these states, apparently we only ever appointed one, then eliminated the position entirely after he retired, and then started just. Handing out ones to people in individual cities and counties. Which is so par for the course here I don't know why I am surprised.

One of the first things any college level literature course will try to drill into you is that you don't examine the life of an author when examining their work. It might sound silly, but I think Baudelaire is a great example of why that's important. The man was addicted to drugs and sex, refused to get a "real job", lived off his inheritance from his wealthy father and eventually whatever money he could convince his mother to send him his entire adult life, and had her use her political connections to bail him out of legal trouble multiple times.

If I thought too hard about that it would make his lines in "Skeleton Laborers" (Nothingness is treacherous.//Even Death is a deceiver.//Alas, forever and ever,//work may be awaiting us) fall terribly flat, which I think does them a disservice. The man was very talented and I am glad he wrote them because I felt very seen when I read them.

Baudelaire opened his publication with a note to the reader, but he made it a full poem entitled "To the Reader." I liked the ending stanza so much I used a version of it to title my blog, and eventually my current masterlist: (Boredom! Moist-eyed, he dreams, while pulling on//a hookah pipe, of guillotine-cleft necks.//You, reader, know this tender freak of freaks-//hypocrite reader-mirror-man-mytwin!)

Likewise the title of this post is also taken from part of a poem, "Hymn to Beauty" (Beauty, you simple, vile monstrosity,//I cannot care about your origin,//provided that your gaze, smile, feet show me//a sweet infinity I have never known.) I think that fits Rook's ideals rather well, don't you?

[lillified]

On Twt you had mentioned dead colonies, could you talk a bit about it? I'm curious to learn more 👀

I absolutely can!

Dead Colonies

At the tail end of the Quintesson reign and well into the Zeta era, the Cybertronian project began to expand into space, looking to establish itself as a galactic empire (similar to the Quintessons they were following). The new regime's optimism made promising projections about the affair, anticipating the colonies they established would become vital trade hubs, resource hotspots, societies, and even tourist destinations (though some of Cybertron's ultra-wealthy indulged, space travel was far too expensive for this to ever become viable). Although the industry boom following the socio-economic institution of the Caste system gave this ambitious promise legitimacy, it was, in hindsight, completely doomed from the start.

In their heyday, however, it was easy to ignore the warning signs. These colonies stretched from nearby satellites to planets in neighboring solar systems, and they were established to varying degrees of complexity. Some stations were only ever meant to be extraction ports for valuable natural resources. The most famous of these colonies, however, were the settled territories, where groups of Cybertronians were planted and expected to live indefinitely.

Once established, these territories developed independently of Cybertron's culture and society, similar to how the flying polity of Vos maintained its own social identity. In many ways, they were like miniature civilizations of their own, only sponsored and supplied by the Cybertronian government. One example of where their societies differed from the start was in the practice of mooring Titans.

Titans are a subclass of life on Cybertron. They are theorized to be the missing link between Cybertronians and the Primus Superorganism, though that theory is highly controversial. Many Titans are dormant now, existing in a state of extended stasis, but many Polities on Cybertron were established around or even on these Titans, although the full extent of their symbiotic link has been lost to time. Unlike Cybertronians, Titans exist throughout the observed galaxy, likely supplanted by space debris. Though it served no immediate practical purpose, several of these colonies sought out these space Titans to cohabitate with. The most infamous colony to adhere to this practice was Caminus.

Caminus was an extremely ambitious project. It was the farthest of the Cybertronian colonies, whose "bridge" (a series of space stations facilitating navigation to the planet, without which many outgoing ships were lost) was considered a revolutionary innovation in space travel. For a long time it was a shining example of what interstellar expansion should be. A lush natural ecosystem native to the planet, constant technological innovation, a rich independent culture, and a general appearance of abundance made it exotic and attractive to the citizens back on Cybertron.

The colonies existed in excess for a while. Soon, though, the explosion of prosperity and industry from Zeta's widespread mechanization started to trail off, and the Energon crisis was almost inevitable on the horizon. The long-term goal that underscored the effort of space expansion was to eventually find another source of Energon, but that goal was never achieved; by consequence, the endeavor of supporting these colonies became expensive and unwieldly. There was no real end benefit besides maintaining an illusion of abundance.

One by one, the central Cybertronian government slowed down, and eventually cut off, support to these Colonies, markedly including the shipment of Energon. Some of these stations were evacuated with the hopes of reintegrating their residents on Cybertron, but many others, especially the manned trade outposts and extraction points, were simply abandoned. Rescuing everyone was just too expensive.

Of the residential colonies, only one escaped evacuation, though the story is still shrouded in mystery. Before the total cutoff, Energon shipments became increasingly more expensive, dwindling for decades. Caminus felt this bleeding and diplomatic tensions between itself and Cybertron became strained. During one shipment, with no forewarning, an outgoing cargo ship discovered that the final point of the Caminus bridge had completely disappeared, defying reason. All other communications with the colony were also completely shut off. With no way to reach them, and no way to guarantee a safe travel, the ship returned to Cybertron, and the colony essentially disappeared. The story of Caminus would become a longstanding source of mystery and intrigue back on Cybertron, though any tragedy is more a result of bureaucratic negligence than horror.

The rest of the colonies died out much less spectacularly. Now, throughout the galaxy, only old abandoned outposts remain, the skeletons of lives lived there. Like the Quintessons before them, Cybertronian expansion was destined to fail. In the end it only marked another nail in the coffin for the energy crisis, and the inevitability of domestic tensions coming to a fiery head.

[not-poignant]

Omg please drop some of your fave 00s Midwestern emo

Absolutely!

So first thing I should say is that I love a lot of emo, not just 00s Midwest. And most of the musicians I loved then, I still follow to some capacity now (it's also how I found musicians like Manchester Orchestra long before they went viral.

For specifically Midwest era, it'd have to be:

The Get Up Kids (I would die for Matt Pryor, his prolificness and songwriting is incredible. He's also The New Amsterdams, and writes as Matt Pryor, he also did children's albums as The Terrible Twos and now has a punk band I always forget the name of). For people new to TGUK, would highly recommend Red Letter Day, and I'll Catch You

There's also Jets To Brazil, mewithoutYou, Sunny Day Real Estate, Spanish Love Songs (folks who listen to my playlists might recognise the song Brave Faces Everyone, which I'm also using as an upcoming chapter title). I've seen The Shins listed as Midwest emo and I enjoy them but I don't think they fit the genre, lol. There's also Mineral, Rainer Maria, Modest Mouse etc.

In terms of more broadly, the emo artists I've love/d are like Brand New (controversial these days, I know), Taking Back Sunday, Acceptance, The Academy Is..., Panic! at the Disco (they've strayed from their roots but I still like em), Say Anything, Matchbook Romance, Dashboard Confessional, The Early November, All Time Low (do an amazing cover of Umbrella), Fall Out Boy, The Format (not really emo but they were in this crowd), Jimmy Eat World, JamisonParker, Death Cab for Cutie, Alexisonfire! (Screamo), Anberlin, Hellogoodbye, and probably a bunch of others I'm missing!

I've been to see Dashboard Confessional and Brand New live (the latter was the first band I ever flew to another state to see, because they weren't going to come to Perth), and I've intended to see Taking Back Sunday twice but both times was too sick to go.

I live with a music journalist, and we're both very interested in all kinds of music, usually with different projects going on at the same time. Currently he's trying to get through all the top albums by year since albums existed (he's now in the early 90s), curating a playlist of '100 top songs per year' series of playlists. I'm doing my Colourways project this year, which is creating playlists of 30 unique songs each that match some of the top selected colours of the year. (I'm currently listening to Kenepuru Sound in that collection).

Last year were both actively tried to listen outside of our music spaces, so Glen targeted a lot of foreign countries, and I specifically lasered in on Indonesia, because that suited some worldbuilding I was doing. Consequently made a giant Indonesian-songs playlist, and fell in love with Padi. Everyone should. (Go listen to Semua Tak Sama, especially if you love Radiohead). I also focused on listening to a lot of Indigenous Australian music, which led me to Alf the Great, who made the song Running that I added to a few playlists. He's Kalkadungu/Bidjara.

The year before that I was followed on playlist curation, etc. We're both a bit neurodivergent about our music habits, except that Glen can't listen to the same song over and over again, and I can to his dismay, so I have to be careful how I do it (and normally not when he's home).

[bitchy-w1tchy]

Anfuu analysis

Anime onlys: I would highly recommend not reading any further because I will be discussing a lot of shit that happens way past episode 10 in the anime.

This is long, sorry

Lemme say first off that I really have not seen a relationship like Andy and Fuuko's before (granted my only other shonen series I have been into were Fairy Tail and AOT). From what I have seen in other shonen, which I normally can't get into because they're pretty cookie cutter imo, romance doesn't happen right off the bat.

Undead Unluck would not be a thing if Fuuko and Andy didn't have a relationship. I'm a damn sucker for romance and the second I saw the dynamic between them in the first episode, I knew I was in for a helluva ride.

So in the beginning, it is obvious that Andy is using her. He has admitted to it multiple times, there's no hiding it. My guy wanted to die and saw someone who could potentially give him a proper death and he wasn't going to let that opportunity slip through his fingers.

Up until the end of Spoil, Andy saving Fuuko, protecting her, teasing her, that was all for his personal gain. He didn't take into account that she had been touch deprived for ten years, living vicariously through her shojo manga. Andy called her a pushover many times but I don't think she was. She loved the fact that she could touch someone without them dying. In a short amount of time, she got to live out a ton of different scenarios that only her shojo mango could provide her and I think she was in love with the idea that she could finally start living a little.

Going back to the Spoil arc, after Fuuko saves Andy from Victhor, that's when the dynamic starts to change a little bit. Fuuko saved Andy. She got him back. And Andy FOR SURE saw that. She wasn't some brat to him anymore. Does he love her at this point? No. But he definitely respects her and wants to continue to protect her. He doesn't JUST see her as a personal asset anymore.

And we are that in the Unrepair arc, when Fuuko gets hit by Rip's scalpel, Andy loses it and has to collect himself before returning to the fight, not only that is that Fuuko had to reassure him that she was fine.

Fuuko is not a damsel in distress and Andy sees that, allowing her to fight alongside him (even if she is just piggybacking). Andy recognizes that he can be stronger with her Unluck and it makes me so damn happy that she isn't cast on the sidelines during fights (thank you tozuka)

ANYWAYS

Autumn arc is where we start cooking, fr. Fuuko admits she loves Andy. Is she in love with him? No. But she is starting to fall. She spent 10 years with him in that damned book. And Andy definitely loved her too. They helped each other grow. And when they came out of that book they were stronger than ever.

Before Fuuko goes with Under, it was blatantly obvious that Andy did not want her to go. At this point, he does not like being away from her at all. But there is a huge amount of trust there so he lets her go.

But man's was STRESSIN the whole time she was gone, not sleeping or nothing until her heard from her. Not only that is Fuuko admits that she is in love with Andy, realizing it now that she has been away from him for only a couple days. Not only that is Unchaste doesn't work on her because she truly loves someone unconditionally.

Now, before I go into the rest of Spring and into Ragnarok, I'm gonna say that Andy does not know how to deal with his feelings. His inner dialogue and the way he speaks to Fuuko are not matching up at all. Before he admits he loves her, (God damn it I wish she heard him), he's looking back on their time together, how they both grew, how he treated her at first, etc.

At the end of Spring, he admits to himself that he can't die because he can't accept Fuuko's feelings properly. And why can't he? Because he's AFRAID.

But when he speaks to Fuuko he plays it off as, "now it's my turn to fall in love with you", kinda jokes around about it.

This is where I get controversial. By the time Spring ends, does Andy love Fuuko? Without a doubt, yes. Is he IN love with her? No.

Like I said, he is scared to accept her feelings. I do believe that if he could get past the barrier of his own feelings and accept her love then I truly believe he would fall head over heels with her in an instant. His feelings are what's holding him back.

So why is he so afraid? Because I think that if he admits he is in love with Fuuko and accepts Fuuko's feelings, then he won't want to die like he has wanted for 2 centuries. And if he DOES die, then he leaves behind a heartbroken Fuuko.

I mean, come on, Fuuko gets shanked and Andy absolutely loses his shit. That's love.

I PISSED that Andy and Fuuko never got their proper talk before the Loop happened. But I'm hoping that when Andy decides to get his ass off the fucking sun (kidding), then we have a real talk between them because I'll tell you I am so sick of licking these anfuu crumbs off the fucking floor. (Bring my boy home)

(now I do think, at some point during the Ragnarok arc, he doesn't want to die anymore. His astral projection is that of an old man. He just wants to grow old.)

[ohtobeleah]

Leah babe. Whenever you’re ready we’re here patiently waiting for the next update of TH&TH.

THIS TOOK ME FUCKING FOREVER TO WRITE!! And as promised, an earlier update as the Masterlist received 1’000 notes!! Ahhh. Anyway—here’s the next chapter. Also the Masterlist for those who need to catch up. We're getting closer and closer to the end of what I'd say would be series finale of season one of TH&TH. But a series two would be on the cards.

Jake Seresin never thought he’d fly for the Navy, he had every intention of joining the airforce from the day he knew what a plane was. The white walls of his childhood bedroom were plastered with air force propaganda posters spanning decades, yet they all told him the same thing. That planes were cool and that someday he’d fly one. He remembered as he sat in his F-18 Super Hornet that the longer he sat staring at the walls he littered with his dreams, his passion—the more he wanted it. A common denominator however for a lot of Jake Seresin's teen and adulting life choices had been one thing and one thing only. You. 

As Jake took his only shot at saving his colleagues' lives as they gained altitude towards the sun–like a modern day version of Ikaris themselves, Jake thought back to the moment he thought maybe the Navy wouldn't be such a bad career choice after all. 

“You wanna do what?” Sitting on your best friend's bed you told Jake that you were starting to think about a career in the Navy. “Say it again for me real quick, I don't think I heard you correctly.” He teased as he spun around on his desk chair, flipping the pen he’d been doing his homework with through his fingertips. 

“I said, I was talking to Sarah the other day and she said her older brother is a clearance diver and loves it.” You explained as you sat with your History book open on page one hundred and forty nine. Reading about the social and political constructs of the highly controversial and deeply divisive ruler—empress Wu. “Been thinking about it a lot actually–seemed pretty neat.” You couldn’t really focus on her rise from common concubine to empress when Jake was staring into your soul from across his room though. 

“You know if you go into the Navy and I go into the Air Force we can't be friends anymore right?” Jake taunted before you threw his own pillow his way. “What!” He gasped. “I'm just saying–it's kinda like a given thing that the branches all kinda hate each other.” It was your senior year of highschool so the reality of the real world was starting to kick in. You'd both been giving a lot of thought into what you wanted to do after school. If a gap year was on the horizon or if college was a possibility. Or for you maybe it was the Naval Academy and for Jake it would be the BMT. 

For now though, you and Jake both worked down at the local pizzeria after school–it was supposed to be your way of being able to spend more time together. But when the big boss had noticed that the two of you barely got anything done when you were both rostered on together? He made sure to end that real quick. 

“Doesn't the Navy have like, Naval Aviators or something?” You sighed, not realising just how much of a spark it lit inside Jake as he watched you return to your work. “If we both enlisted maybe we might be able to take on the world together?” You weren't putting all that much thought into what you were saying, simply making light hearted conversation with your best friend as you both did whatever homework you both had due the next morning. You History and Jake Mathematics–always the maths guy. “Who knows, But hey–if you do go into the Air Force and fly those stupid planes that cost way too much money I guess you already have a callsign.” Smirking, Jake looked at you like you’d just shot him through the chest. 

“Oh no. No way would I ever use Hangman as my call sign.” Jake huffed as he shook his head. “It's stupid.” 

“It's who you are, idiot.” You reminded him, all those moments where he’d hung around his locker waiting for the right moment to talk to you only to be left hanging had the namesake sticking to him like super glue all through high school. Like fuck was Jake taking that shit with him into his adult life. “Besides, it suits you.” 

The pad of Jake's thumb hit the trigger for his missile lock system the moment he’d been drawn back into the present by the tone he’d locked on the fifth generation fighter pilot. He watched as the jet exploded into a thick black fiery cloud that surely had to be lethal for whoever had been sitting in the cockpit. Knowing that he was coming home to you and whoever he’d just shot down wasn't. That would be his second air to air kill. You hadnt taken well to the first one–he wondered for a moment if you'd love him any less now that he had two. 

“Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, this is your savour speaking.” Jake put on his usual persona of the guy who everyone just couldn't stand as he came racing through the plume into vision of Chaos and Rooster. “Please fasten your seatbelts, return your tray tables to their locked and upright position and prepare for landing.” He watched as Chaos looked his way and smacked her first twice against the side of the cockpit, laughing behind her mask. He couldn’t really tell from this distance how fucking close to death she really was. 

“Hey Hangman, you look good.” Rooster commented from the back seat, not his usual position on a fighter jet. All things considered though it probably still had a pretty good view. Jake nodded peacefully in response, he was going to say something about how he wanted to throw up over the fact he’d left you like he did to get here. Crying, screaming his name, yelling at him that you needed him. He wanted to mention that it killed him to know he left you heartbroken in his best friend's arms because he just put his colleagues above you and even more so above his own safety. Or that if he’d listened to your direct orders to stand down Rooster and Chaos may very well not be alive right now. He wouldn’t ever say that to you—ever.

Jake didn’t say any of the aforementioned things, he couldn’t. The words failed him when he tried to convey the right things to say—they always had, but in this very instant he knew his worry and utter agony was written in the lines on his face. 

Jake just nodded and laughed with them. 

“I am good Rooster, I'm very good.” He paused as he broke right and turned back to head towards the carrier. He wondered if the girl who sat on his bed that one time and said you could both take on the world together would still want to charge at it head on when he landed or if you’d throw your hands up and finally say enough's, enough. “I'll see you both back on deck.” 

***~***~***~***~***~

“You’re okay Hawkeye, I got you.” Javy rocked with you as you clung to him in utter heartbreak. There was no sense of time anymore, you didn't know if you'd been left on the runway for two minutes or two hours as you cried out in utter heartache loud enough for anyone walking the flight deck to hear. “Jakes gonna bring em home.” 

“You don’t know that–what if he never comes home.” Javy wasn't about to tell you that he had that feeling too, he wasn't about to break your heart any more than Jake had already done so in order to go after Rooster and Chaos. “He's the love of my life Javy–” Javy felt his own heart shattering as he held you a little tighter, sitting with you between his legs in the middle of the runway. His arms encapsulated you like he was shielding you from the world around you. Not wanting you to ever be hurt again. “What am I supposed to do without him huh? What does he fucking want from me!?” 

“He doesn't want nothing Hawk, he probably just knows by now that you love him enough to know that whatever happens, good or bad–he had all the right intentions.” Deep down you knew Javy was right, you did love Jake enough to know that a year ago–or even just a few months ago for that matter, he never would have done this.  

Levi ‘Elvis’ Macarthy was a terrible person and an even worse influence on your husband. He was the very dictionary definition of superficial. There wasn't a person you loathed more than Jake’s current Wingman. You knew Levi wouldn't hesitate to leave Jake in the dust if things went wrong, but what scared you so much more was Jake had become the very same. 

“Oh my god—“. You just couldn't hold it in any more, your marriage had fallen to shambles around you before there was anything left to salvage. Your grandmother always used to tell you like because and you love despite. But with Jake? Over the last few months nothing seemed worth it. “You're worse than Levi.” You had just been discussing Jake's latest deployment, he hadn’t bothered to tell you until three days out. “Levi, he’s a selfish superficial asshole but he can’t help it, Jake–but you? You could be a good person but you wanna be an asshole! You are so obsessed with getting promoted and becoming the best of the very best that you’re choosing to be a piece of shit—“ It would be your last fight, the fight that drove you over the edge, the one you couldn't come back from. The fight where things were said that you couldn’t take back no matter how badly you wanted to. It was the fight that put all your others to shame. 

“Okay stop pretending this is some moral dilemma!” Jake hadn’t told you about his next deployment because he knew that you still weren’t over his last. He didn't know how to tell you without starting a fight. Which inevitably happened anyway. 

“It is a moral dilemma! You’re pushing everyone away to chase a fucking pipe dream!” You were so proud of Jake and everything he’d accomplished, but the idea that you were the only one who was didn't sit right with you. You knew he lived for the applause, but you couldn't cheer him on from the bleachers alone. “You’re a lieutenant! God isn't that enough for you at this moment? Revel in it a little before you chase the next rank!”  

“Oh you wanna go there?” Jake scoffed as he took strides towards you, crossing the distance of the living room. “You—“. Jake spat, his voice laced with venom as he spoke to you like he hadn’t been in love with you since the very first time he saw you let alone spoke to you. Pointing his finger into your chest. “You’re afraid to climb the ladder.” He barked. “Tell me love.” The term of endearment made you weak in such a heated moment. “When was the last time you actually did something you were proud of? You spend all your time worrying about me and what I'm doing and what I'm supposedly becoming because you're too fucking scared to fucking apply yourself, you're scared that even if you tried just a little goddamn harder that you'd still be told you're a crap analyst!” He didn't mean any of it, he just wanted to hurt you the same way you hurt him. But Jake? Well he couldn't attack your person, so he went for your job, your career. He knew you held a little self doubt about your position in the Navy, unlike himself who just oozed confidence in every aspect. “Always a Lieutenant Junior, never gonna make it to Rear Admiral.” 

“You go on this deployment, I won't be here when you get back.” This time you weren’t messing around. The idea had crossed your mind a time or two when things had gotten really bad, when you thought it would be easier to run than to stay and figure it out. 

“What?” Jake had suddenly lost all his male bravado. “What the hell are you talking about?” Although you’d thought about it, you’d never said it out loud. Never mentioned the idea to anyone. “Baby–” His eyes were soft and suddenly full of regret, had he gone too far this time? 

“You heard me Jake so help me god if you go, don’t expect me to fucking be here when you get back.” You thought your love for Jake Seresin could outlast any challenges you faced, but when he was the challenge himself? What else was left to do. 

“You know I have to though—you know better than anyone that I can’t just not go?” His eyes took in the entire expanse of your face, every small mark and imperfection that made you perfect to him in every way. Cupping your face between his hands. “Wifey, we’re okay, we don't have to do this.” You ignored Jake's words as you focused on the first statement that slipped past his lips. 

“Seems like an inevitable outcome then doesn’t it?” You continued, only to pull away and turn on your heels. Holding back the flooded dam that threatened to break if Jake made any attempt to keep you here. Stop you from leaving–.if he asked you to stay you knew it would be all the more harder to go, without question. You loved him so much. 

“Baby don’t leave me.” You left in the middle of the night that same night. 

He never would have put the lives of his fellow aviators above his own and he most certainly wouldn't have defied direct orders to risk his life in order to save another. The version of Jake Seresin that you almost served divorce papers to was long gone. Dead and buried. Replaced by the very best version of himself you knew he could be. The version you fell in love with during highschool. The version who asked you to marry him one random night in July under the stars as waves lapped around your ankles. The version you saw a future, a present and had a past with. It didn't hurt any less though, knowing that the outcome of all his soul searching may end up with the same outcome you’d left him over in the first place. 

You'd' still receive that folded flag, you’d still cry as his coffin was lowered, only now you knew for sure that you wouldn't be the only one to mourn him. 

“GET HER OFF THE DAMN RUNWAY!” Pete Mitchell could be heard screams from the barricades that you jumped over to reach your husband in time, to no avail. You’d fallen into a heap in Coyote's lap, inconsolable and crying as your heart raced at the thought you’d never see Jake again. Clutching at Javys flight suit, the nornex not doing much at all to dry your tears. “COYOTE! GET HER UP BEFORE YOU TWO GET RUN OVER BY A GODDAMN F-18!” 

“Someone tell my wife I'm coming home.” Jake had radioed back to the tower all the while you and Javy had been sitting on the flight deck. He had started making his way back to you the second he wasn't needed, he saw no need to string out your obvious heartbreak. He couldn't wait to get back to you, tell you how sorry he was, how much he loved you, how much you meant to him and how badly it broke his own heart he had to leave you behind like he did–but he knew Rooster and Chaos needed him just a little bit more in the very moment. Jake also couldn't wait to let you know how idiotidc it was to stand in the middle of a goddamn runway. How endearing and brave and oh so stupid he found it. He knew that you were going to tear him a new one about his actions, that was his only leg to stand on. You were miss prim and proper, he was reckless and foolish–the better halves of each other. “Someone tell Y/n I’m okay, for the love of god someone tell her I'm alright.” It was a plea that fell on somewhat deaf ears though, no one could get to you to relay the message and Pete Mitchell certainly wasn't about the scream that crossed the flight deck of the carrier. 

“We gotta move Lieutenant Commander–” Javy cooed as he tried to lift you up. Deadweight against his arms, you didn’t budge for love nor nothing. “Hey, Jake’s coming back, surely.” Pointing over your shoulder to the black dot in the distance headed straight for the carrier Javy tried his best to break through whatever haze had begun to cloud your better judgement. “You see that speck? That's Jake, so unless you wanna get railed by the cord that's gonna come at us at about a hundred miles an hour I suggest we move and the second he lands, I'll let you go? Deal?” You didn't believe Coyote as he tried to be the voice of reason, but as you watched the speck get a little closer, a little more defined, it sparked a hope inside you that you wanted to believe in. That it was Jake and he was coming home. 

“Shit–” You scrambled to your feet, dusting your uniform off as Javy took your hand in his, one hand behind the small of your waist as he guided you over to where the rest of the group stood. Phoenix, Bob, Fanboy, Payback, all desperately awaiting the return of Hangman, Rooster and Chaos. “You really reckon it's him?” You asked as you approached Maverick, he hated the look in your eyes. Despair. Your eyelashes were wet and your cheeks were stained but none of that really mattered when he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and nodded, bringing out a haphazard smile across your face for the briefest of moments. 

“It's him Hawk, it's all of them.” 

***~***~***~***~***~

It was the smoothest of landings Jake had ever pulled off. Everything had gone according to plan. When the tail hook caught on the catcher cord, slowing Jake's Super Hornet to nothing, he could finally breathe again. There wasn’t a lot that confronted Jake Seresin, but when he took off from the carrier, leaving you behind? He’d never felt such a fear in the back of his throat. It resonated with him until he leaned. 

The cheers roaring out from his colleagues and fellow Naval men and women were enough to have him popping his canopy, holding his helmet in his hand as he fist bumped the air. Ravelling in the moment, the glory, the praise. Jake Seresin lived for the applause—and for the almost good enough but not quite worthy Dagger Spare, he thought he’d done pretty well for a guy who hadn’t made the team. 

“You’re insane!!” Phoenix beamed as she tapped Hangman on the shoulder three consecutive times. “And I’m not gonna tell you you’re great, but well done.” He barely acknowledged her, his eyes catching you in the crowd. The roar of success faded as he handed Bob his helmet—without taking his eyes off you. A smirk crept across his face when he saw you falter for a mere moment. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you were utterly and wholeheartedly relieved he was safe. But for a split second as the crowd cheered and separated just enough for Jake to barge his way to you—you couldn’t not let the happiness consume you. 

“Hi wifey—“ Is all Jake manages to say before you’re barreling at him. Running full speed into his arms. With a jump and a graceful lift, your lips are connecting with your husbands as he catches you in his strong arms. Hands on your ass as he kisses you back. Your arms thrown around his shoulder as he deepened the kiss you thought for a while there you’d never get to experience again. “I’m so so—“ You didn’t let him finish as your open palm slapped against his cheek. 

“Don’t you ever leave me like that again, do you hear me?” It wasn’t harsh enough to actually hurt, but it was still with enough force that took Jake aback. “Hangman—do you hear me?” Eyeing off the little gold heart he wore with so much pride.

Jake couldn’t stop himself from beaming at you. He loved you, oh so much. Kissing you again with haste as he nodded against your lips. “So stupid, I can’t believe you do that! Never again okay?” You pleased as Jake kissed you, talking into his mouth as teeth clashed together and tongues danced. Cupping his face to make sure this was real. That he was back and he was safe. “You hear my baby? You got nothing to prove.” 

“Loud and clear ma’am, loud and clear.” Mumbling into your mouth as he held you up by your thighs. The cheering of the entire crew around you made it all the more remarkable. Jake Seresin was a hero, and a beloved one at that. “You’re not off the hook either, pretty girl.” Jake smirked against your lips. “Jumping barricades and barrelling up runways.” It was true, it hadn’t been your finest moment, but you did it all for love. “So stupid wifey, you know that right?” You knew, so the only dignified response you gave was a silent nod. 

“I thought you weren’t coming back—“ You mumbled just shy of a whisper as you let your forehead rest against Jakes as he slowly put you down. Bending over with you to chase your lips again. He couldn’t get enough of the taste of you. 

“I’ll always come ba—“ Again, you slapped him again. This time a little harder as he trapped your hand in his. Making sure you couldn’t slap him again. “Okay, you gotta stop slapping me.” Jake poked his tongue against the inside of his slightly throbbing cheek as you eyed him off. 

“Sorry, I just needed to make sure you were listening.” Racing past the bridge of the carrier where both Admiral Beau and Admiral Bates stood. Chaos flew low and close as you looked up overhead. She held her finger up to the glass. Giving the admirals the bird before her right engine cut out. “But I’m so proud of you Jake—you brought them home.” 

“So I’m off the hook?” Jake asked as he raised an eyebrow, cocking the corner of his lip slightly as you shook your head. Laughing. 

“Oh, oh no—no no no Jacob, you are most definitely not off the hook.” You called him Jacob, he knew he was in shit when Jacob slipped past your lips. “But for now I think you deserve to have your moment.” You gestured to the crowd around you now cheering on Chaos and Rooster as they landed in the barricade. “Go celebrate your victory Lieutenant.” 

“I love you, Wifey!” Jake beamed as he stepped back, immersing himself in the crowd around him. “Love you to the moon and back!” He grinned before turning around, finding his way to the two people he risked it all for. 

“I love you all that much more.” 

***~***~***~***~***~

It had been a few weeks since the Uranium mission had come to its completion. The Admirals had made it abundantly clear that the ragtag team of aviators who had grown to be more like family than just colleagues could have a few precious weeks of unrestricted leave for their duties and sacrifices. Bradley Bradshaw and Robert Floyd had chosen to stay in North Island; They weren’t leaving until they knew for sure that Chaos Kazansky was going to be okay. For you and Jake? Things had mellowed out, settled down and you were both working through the underlying issues that were still plaguing whatever future you were both preparing to have with one another. 

Like today for example, you were both about to find out the paternity results of the DNA test Jake had taken for Marissa. He knew it wasn’t his kid, but he knew you needed that in writing. 

“Okay ladies cough up.” The Miramar Base Hospital smelt of sterile everything but the nurses station? They smelt of that Ariana Cloud Perfume and whatever food had been on offer in the cafeteria that day. “Who owes me what?” You teased as the three ladies sitting behind the glass fished out their wallets and all handed you a ten dollar bill. Much to their own displeasure. You smirked, collecting your earnings with no sympathy. 

“Much appreciated ladies—“ You winked. When Jake had first started doing the rounds for Chaos, you’d gone with him one time early on. The ladies at the front desk had mentioned Jake would always stop and have a chat—nothing malicious, nothing sinister behind it. He just enjoyed the praise he received. And you saw nothing wrong with that—but you’d started an underground betting ring not three days later with the nurses. If your husband was gonna act the foot? The least you were gonna do was make some extra money off him. “Someone ask him about his call sign next time he stops by, if he says anything else besides the fact he was left hanging by a girl he had a crush on in highschool he’s a liar—“ You picketed the cash as you turned on your heels. “Fifty Bucks ladies, take it or leave it.” 

“You look rather nice today Commander?” One of the nurses cooed as she hollered down the hall after you. You weren’t really sure what she was on about to be honest, you were just in a pair of old jeans and a sweater. Maybe it was the brown hair you now wore with pride. Jake had been right, Blondes did have more fun and you had certainly had your fair share during your time back at Miramar. You weren’t meant to be a blonde. So back to your roots you went. “Anything in particular got you all dressed to the nines?” 

“Just enjoying the rest and relaxation ladies, nothing else to it.” You smiled back at them before making your way further into the hospital—running into your husband and Bob shortly after. “I was just coming to see Chaos? How is she?” You asked Bob as Jake took you under his arm, pulling you closer to his side as he kissed the top of your head. It still smelled of brown box dye. He’d helped you colour it back a few nights prior. That in and of itself should have been a mission he had taken more seriously. 

“Awake, she wanted to be with Rooster for a little while.” Bob explained softly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m gonna go grab a coffee, do you want anything Commander?” You still weren’t all that keen on everyone calling you commander, shaking your head softly you sighed as Bob stood before you with tired eyes. 

“I’m good, and would you please just call me Hawk if anything Bob? Even Y/n’s totally fine—you guys are family. I don’t want you calling me Commander if we’re not on duty or working together.” 

“Yes ma’am, I’ll see you guys a little later.” Bob was tired, he walked the halls like a ghost of his former self. He and Rooster had been tag teaming for weeks and you knew Jake was worried about them both. 

“God I feel awful.” You mumbled into Jake's shoulder. “We should do something for them.” 

“Only thing we can do is just be here for them.” Jake kissed the top of your head before making a cheeky remark. “Commander Seresin.” He expected the elbow he copped to the ribs but it didn’t make it hurt any less. “Ohh—“ He doubled over for a moment as he stilled in his tracks, watching as you kept walking down the hall. “Okay, I definitely deserved that.” 

“Bet you thought it was gonna be you who made commander first, didn't ya hot shot?” You teased over your shoulder as your husband caught back up to you. “What was it again? Always the Lieutenant Junior, never gonna make it to Rear Admiral?” Quoting the remark Jake had made during one of your more heated arguments. “I’m sure you’ll catch up, Lieutenant.” 

“I liked you better when you were just a lieutenant commander—“ Jake taunted as you both rounded the corner. Laughing you just shook your head. “So cocky now—someone better tap you on the head before you fly too close to the sun there, Icarus.” 

“You know I don’t fly, Flyboy—“ You taunted back as you reached for Jake's hand, walking side by side towards the office of Dr. Sanders—she’d called you earlier that same morning to confirm the results of Jake's paternity test had come in and as had your fertility checks. “And before you say anything, no—I’ve seen the way you fly, I’m not getting in one of the tin cans with you.”

“Javy said he’d take you up if you wanted to?” 

“Oh fuck off—“ You couldn’t hold back to scoff. “You know I’m terrified of flying, never in a million years would you ever get me up in one of those things.” It had always been something you’d pushed to the wayside, but even when you flew commercially, you needed anxiety callers to keep you from panicking. “Thanks, but no thanks.” 

“Ah, there’s the lovely couple!” Dr. Sanders greeted you both with a wide smile as you approached her door. “Come on in, we have a lot to talk about.” 

“All good news I hope?” Jake questioned as he let you enter first and pulled your chair out for you. A kind but almost jarring gesture. The look on Dr. Sanders' face said it all though—it wasn’t. Fuck.

“Mr Seresin, how sure were you that this child wasn’t yours?” She asked and for a moment there you forgot how to breathe. Holy shit, was Jake actually a father? To another woman’s child? 

“Fairly certain I could back my entire career on the matter, why?” Jake still expressed so much confidence in the matter at hand, he never once wavered from his standpoint. It was almost admirable. He sat beside you, reaching out for your hand because he knew if anyone was freaking out right this second it was you—running the pad of his thumb across your palm. 

“Remind me to never second guess your better judgement, you’re not the father Jake—I’m not sure whether to say congratulations or my condolences but biologically speaking no, that child isn’t yours.” 

“That’s exactly what we wanted to hear.” Jake smiled as he turned his cocky attitude towards you fully. “Never doubted it for a minute.” 

“I’ve already informed the other party, she sends her best wishes.” Dr. Sanders sighed before she opened the tan folder on her desk. “Now—onto you little miss, what am I going to do with you.” She sent you a soft smile. This was never an easy part of her job, but education was key.

“Lay it on me doc, I can take it.” Your hand squeezed Jakes just a little tighter as you shifted in your seat. Knowing whatever Dr. Sanders was about to tell you was going to knock the wind from your lungs. 

“Y/n, you have blockage in your left fallopian tube, that means that when sperm are trying to make their way to an egg the blockage is stopping them before they can fertilise.” You really didn’t know what to say as you sat shocked in silence. “It doesn’t necessarily mean a natural conception isn’t possible, it just means that the chances are less likely and if you do ever decide to have children, prenatal vitamins and hormone treatments will aid in the process. And hopefully whatever sperm does make the journey, they take a right instead of left.” 

“Is there anything we can do to remove the blockage?” You asked softly, there was a small part of you who didn’t want to know the answer. But you asked regardless. 

“There’s surgical procedures we can schedule you in for—but they're all quite major and can lead to even more pressing complications like infertility overall.” Dr. Sanders explained. “It’s better to leave well enough alone and hope that the one you still have can come through, otherwise? There’s IVF treatments, adoption—“ Dr. Sanders made it abundantly clear to both you and Jack in her office that you were, in fact, not broken. She’d seen too many women come through her doors that wore the same face she was currently looking up. “You my dear are not broken, you just need to take a few extra steps.” 

“I’m—uh, can we take home all the information you have on all the options please?” Jake could hear it in your voice how scared and upset you truly were. All he could do in the moment though was reassure you that he was there, right beside you. Squeezing your hand to keep you grounded in reality. “We’ll go over everything at a later date.” 

“Of course, and if you ever need a consultation you know where to find me.” 

***~***~***~***~***~

“When are you gonna go up with Hawk?” Coyote smirked at you through the mirror of the free weight section of the base gym. Finishing your set of lateral raises, you huffed out a groan when you placed the weight down. It’s a bad dream by Good Charlotte played through the speaks as you looked at Javy through the mirror. His smugness rubbing you the wrong way immediately. 

“Who told you I ever would?” Two more weeks had passed since the events of the uranium mission and new postings were starting to trickle in. You’d yet to receive yours, but Jake had reciprocated his. A full time position here in North Island. If he wanted it. He’d get to accept—waiting to see what would come of you. 

“Uh, your husband?” Javy sent you a look as if to say who else would’ve told him that. “You two seem good these days?” He asked, still standing behind you in the free weight section, looking at you through the mirror. “Seem happy?” It was no secret to anyone that knew you and Jake that you had your demons, but over the last few weeks, amongst everything else going on—you’d seemed to work a few things out. 

“I think we’re gonna do a few couples therapy sessions but yeah, we’re good.” You smiled over at Jake who’d been doing some boxing with Payback. “I’ll never find a better part of me Javy, and honestly I’m starting to think that I'd rather be here for him than anywhere else in the world for myself.” 

“He loves you.” Javy smirked softly as you turned to face him. “I remember there was this one time I had to really reel him in from going fully off the rails just after you’d left.” You’d never heard Coyote speak his truth on the matter before. “He was fucked Hawk—he knew he drove you away but was just too stubborn to admit it to anyone around him let alone himself.” 

“I wasn’t innocent in the whole thing—“ You added as you let your eyes linger back over to Jake, he’d lost his shirt somewhere along the long as he held the pads for Payback. A thin sheen of sweat covering him head to toe. “But you like because and you love despite.” 

“You did what you had to do.” Javy added, only to change to conversation seconds later back to his original question. “Come in Hawk, one ride—come up with me for service checks?” 

“I dunno Coy—“ You tried to protest, your fear of flying all consuming. But it was to no avail.

“You can’t be a commander without having flown once—“ You’d technically made Commander rank four weeks ago, but the official ceremony wasn’t until January. It wasn’t a question you could keep avoiding any longer, both Jake and Javy pestering you to no end about this joy flight. Were you particularly interested? No—but if you had to do it once to get them off your back it seemed as though the answer had to inevitably be a yes.

“Honestly? What's the worst thing that could happen?” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Tags: @justanothermagicalsara @alexsisrebekah @stinkyjax @starkleila @luckyladycreator2 @love2write2626 @shanimallina87 @dempy @mintellaine @kiarabellerum31 @abaker74 @shadowsndaisies @haworldwidefunnyguy @peakascum @ssprayberrythings @averyhotchner

[dominik528]

Five & Lila: Enemies-to-lovers done right

As unexpected and controversial as the pairing of Five and Lila was for the final Umbrella Academy season, I have to say that the writers knocked it out of the park with the "enemies-to-lovers" development.

Now, was this romantic direction planned from the start? I highly doubt it. Even with their bathroom fight scene in season 3, with Lila obviously naked, I got absolutely no vibes of sexual tension. What I think happened was, since Castañeda and Arya broke up, the writers decided to spare them the awkwardness of continuing to play an on-screen couple, so they chose this trajectory.

When Lila and Five first meet, there is clear distrust and animosity between them, contrasting from her and Diego's bonding and quickening attraction. Five even threatens--and comes close to--killing Lila.

Then Lila's hostility grows when she learns that he's the one who killed her birth parents. After another fight, Five, calmly and reassuringly, says that he was acting under the orders of her adoptive mother, who arranged the hit and picked up the scared 4-year-old girl at the scene.

Come season 3, and Five now considers Lila as part of the family, even with Klaus pointing out how she tried to kill them a few days ago. But, of course, it's more of a begrudging allyship, seeing how the two still bicker and insult each other.

By the time season 4 rolled along, and we got the scene with Lila wiping away the sugar on Five's mustache, lingering, followed by Diego getting the wrong idea, I thought, 'Wait...' (The first hint that slipped by me was when he noticed her from afar earlier, like a scene out of a romance.) After that, I started anticipating more scenes between the two.

You can imagine my excitement by ep. 5, seeing two people who once despised and taunted each other now warming up to one another more and more, finally leading to a kiss. Yes, I had the actors' age difference in mind (Gallagher being over 18, Arya being in her 30s), but I still found myself adoring seeing Five being happy. After all, he'd grown bitter and cynical after spending over 40 years alone in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with an inanimate object for a companion, becoming a cold-hearted assassin, and only mainly showing his softer side towards Viktor. With the cottage core-like scenario at the greenhouse, I hoped that the series would end with the pair living similarly, like how Viktor tried to rebuild his life.

But then, I told myself to tamp those hopes down, considering what happened to every other relationship on this show: Viktor & Leonard, Viktor & Sissy (another unpopular ship I loved), Klaus & Dave, Allison & Ray (I was rooting for them in season 2!), Allison & Luther, Luther & Sloane (I was looking forward to them reuniting in this reset timeline☹️), and now, Diego & Lila. I'd recalled a quote from an article about Five having an "emotional arc" with Lila, giving himself a reason to live, and feared it meant that Lila was gonna get fridged.

The last 15 minutes of the show proved to be far worse than I imagined, leaving me and many viewers alike feeling empty inside.🙃For the first five episodes, I thought, 'This is enemies-to-lovers done right!' And then a chance for a satisfying conclusion to such an arc, along with long-suffering characters finding true happiness, was dashed away, just like the entire cast of Star Wars: Rogue One, and Kylo Ren and Rey in The Rise of Skywalker.💔

[daisysolovely]

Aemma Targaryen

Losing an eye. 

So, hear me out, I have this imagination where the babe Queen Aemma carried survived and they were a girl who was born blind. Instead of Aemond who losing his eye, it would be this princess. 

I think I might turn this into a series but Idk yet, as I still have a lot of idea for this what if thingy. As far as I could tell, I don’t know who Aemma will ended up so this would be a platonic/family story for now. 

Summary: What if the child Queen Aemma carried was a princess and she actually survived? And what if that child was born blind? 

P/s: English is not my first language, so please forgive for my grammar mistakes and I am an unexperienced writer so feedbacks would be highly appreciated. 

Anyway, enjoy~ 

Aemma’s series: Aemma’s dragon, A Ruby eye, A Pawn, A Proposal

What if Queen Aemma gave birth to a princess who was able to survive? 

Aemma Targaryen, named after her late mother, was born blinded. Some said the princess was cursed for she wasn’t meant to survive death. Some said it was a price for her being alive. Either way, Aemma had always been grateful for her life. She had a loving father who tended to her every need, a beloved sister who was understanding of her disability and an uncle who had an overprotective tendency due to her lack of vision. Not to mention her stepmother, who had been kind and her adorable siblings. 

Her disability didn’t mean that she was clueless about the conflict that set her family apart or the game of politics they were all playing. She was well aware of them, even the secret they thought they had hidden from the world. She might be able to see like a normal person, but she wasn’t completely blind to the world. 

“Aemma.” Yelled Aegon as he approached his sister in the hallway, his words were slightly slurred. The princess flinched at the sudden noise and dropped her cane to the ground, causing Aemma to crunch and pat around, finding her cane. 

The Prince soon approached his sister and stood her up before shoving the cane in her hand. Despite his reputation, he had always had a softer approach to his older sister. The prince wrapped his hand around her wrist and gently guided her, walking slowly as he talked to her.

Aegon, ever since little, had a habit of sneaking into Aemma’s bed. He found comfort in Aemma’s calmness, something he didn’t experience with his mother. It soothed him when she caressed his hair or when she hummed to him at night. As a child, he loved to listen to Aemma’s voice or her lullaby. The prince would voluntarily become her cane just to be in her presence for longer. And as he grew older, he confided in her and confessed to her all his emotions and thoughts that were suppressed inside him. 

However, their closeness was frowned upon and it stirred controversy, even more, when Aegon gained his player reputation. So, the prince changed his method and instead became more discreet with his affection for Aemma. 

“Lady Laena had passed away.” He told her while eyeing her warily. The boy, even in his drunken state, was concerned for his sister. 

Aemma paused at her pace, she turned in the direction of Aegon’s voice. The princess could feel her hands starting to shake as her eyes began tearing up. If it wasn’t for Aegon holding her, Aemma would surely collapse on the floor due to the shocking news. This was just so sudden and Aemma couldn’t imagine what her uncle and cousins must be going through right now. The cursed princess suddenly turned on her heels and walked the opposite way. 

It took Aegon by surprise but the boy was quick to react, he immediately held his sister and exclaimed. “Where are you going?” 

“To Pentos.” She reluctantly answered as she made her way to the dragon pit. “I need to give my condolence to uncle.” She said. 

Aegon’s wrap around Aemma’s tightened, he didn’t wish for her to fly to Pentos. She was in no condition to do so and the boy didn’t particularly like his uncle either. The feeling was mutual for both parties and Aemma knew that as well. But right now, she couldn’t care less. 

“You will meet him soon. We’ll go together.” Explained the boy and Aemma compromised even though she knew deep down, nobody trusted her enough to let her fly alone. A bitter taste settled in her throat, but the princess pushed it aside like many times before. 

—--

Aemma didn’t understand what was going on, she was standing behind Aemond as the boy and her sister’s children argued. It was chaos, Aemma felt as if her ears would explode at any minute. The cursed princess turned her head left and right, trying to analyse the direction of each child. Yet, it was all a failed attempt. 

And the children, too heated, forgot completely about the appearance of Aemma. 

The Cursed princess knew the argument would take a downturn when Aemond called the boys “Strong”, something that was unspeakable among the court and the Targaryen family. Aemma then proceeded to tap on Aemond’s shoulder in an attempt to call him off, yet the boy was too caught up in the moment to notice. 

It was when Lucerys took out his dagger that Aemma’s presence became noticed as she shoved her brother aside and took the hit instead. 

All hell broke loose after that. 

Aemma couldn’t quite remember the details as every time she recalled it, all she could feel was a sharp pain on her right cheek and the cry of her brother along with her nephews and cousins. If she thought this was chaotic, she was proven wrong the moment her sister made the appearance. The realm’s delight cried out as she reached for her sister as Aemma was tended to by the maester. 

“This shouldn’t have happened.” She would hear Rhaenyra mumbling. “I am so sorry, dear sister.” The cursed princess tried not to frown as it would damage her wound. She understood how Rhaenyra must feel, blaming herself for Aemma’s wound. If she was in her sister’s shoes, she would probably feel the same. 

Truthfully, Aemma was angry. Not because she had lost an eye, after all, her eyes were useless, to begin with. She didn’t necessarily lose anything. But she was angry because Lucerys thought he could hurt his kin and because Aemond dared to take Vhagara when lady Laenor’s funeral was just that morning. 

Still, she suppressed it all down for the sake of her family or specifically, her father, the king had exclaimed in horror upon seeing her wound. It must be horrible, Aemma thought as she could visibly hear everyone flinching or whispering about her lost eye. “My sweet child.” The king wrapped his arm around Aemma as he cried. He had always felt bad for Aemma, feeling as if she suffered more than all of her siblings and yet, he was helpless. As a king, he could only try to provide her with the best material he could find. And as a father, he could only hope he had done a wonderful job. 

But now, with an eye lost, the King felt as if it was his fault. Had he not done a great job of protecting her? 

Much to Aemma’s dismay, the Queen demanded justice for the princess, claiming an eye for an eye. Aemma hopelessly sat at the chair while listening to her family tearing each other apart, her uncle Daemon beside her and Aegon next to her. It seemed that Daemon was the only one who enjoyed the show, so far. While Aegon tended to Aemma as if she was porcelain.

“ENOUGH!” The soft Aemma finally had enough as she practically shouted, shutting down the entire room. And she didn’t see how everyone turned to her immediately. “This is absurd!” 

“I don’t need revenge and pithiness. My eyes have never functioned anyway, losing one would hardly make a difference.” Aemma let out a chuckle at the last part. 

But her jest wasn’t well appreciated by many people, except for Daemon who the princess could hear a small chuckle from him but suppressed when his brother cleared his throat. 

“Aemma,” Rhaenyra exclaimed in shock at her sister’s dark sense of humour and its ill timing. 

“Of course, it matters.” The queen interrupted. 

All Aemma responded was a faint smile, she knew what the queen was worried about. Aemma was a challenge to marry off and now she lost an eye. The girl was spoiled for good. Blind and ugly, who would want her? The princess lightly shook her head and shoved her thoughts aside. Instead, she chooses to reply. “It’s not. I can’t see, therefore there isn’t any big damage. So I’ll ask kindly for you all to get over this. Now, if you excuse me, I need to retire to my chamber.” 

And with Daemon's help, the young princess stood up. It didn’t take long for Aegon to take over his uncle’s duty, subtly glancing at the man. He placed his elbow in Aemma’s hand and slowly guided his sister out of the room, not forgetting to sneer at Lucerys.

It was only when Aemma met her bed that her knees finally gave up and her mask slipped up. She groaned in pain, her hands gripped the mattress to find some relief. After a few minutes, the princess finally calmed down and took the cup of tea from Aegon. 

“I will skin that bastard alive for what he has done.” The prince announced as he sat on her bed, practically gauged at Aemma’s now lost eye. He didn’t think her wound would make her ugly, truthfully. Aemma could never be ugly in his eyes for she was his angel and the boy couldn't care less if people thought she had no chance to marry off. He would marry her in a heartbeat. Yet, he was angry that someone dared to hurt his sister, the princess. 

Aemma hissed at the harsh word, shoving the hot tea back in his hand. “What have I told you, Aegon? That word is not to say, what if people hear? You will get in trouble.” The princess didn’t need eyesight to know that her brother was rolling his eyes at her. “I am serious, Aegon and I’ve said previously, I am fine. There is no need to be worked up.” 

“He took your eye, Aemma!” 

“An eye that I have no use of.” Aemma calmly dismissed his point. “I don’t feel a thing if I must admit, couldn’t care if he took both. It’s better me than Aemond or anyone else.” 

“Mother would have the bastard’s eye if he dared to take Aemond’s.” 

“But she won’t, father would never let something like that happen.” Aemma shook her head, she knew her father too well. She also knew that he probably wouldn’t punish Lucerys too harshly for his doing. Her father was anything but fair and was a man with an objective point of view. 

Aegon scoffed, but he didn’t argue with her. Instead, he took a book on her nightstand and opened where the mark was last left. “Do you want me to continue reading for you?” He asked. 

Aegon had offered to become Aemma’s eyes since they were children. Because of her disability, Aemma had difficulties doing simple tasks such as reading, sewing or cleaning. She couldn’t study like the rest of the ladies at court did and sevens hells, she was completely clueless about the world. But Aegon’s assistance did help ease her a bit when he read or told her tales at the Westeros that he knew of or had learned a few days prior. The boy would try his best to describe everything in as detail as possible, which took a lot from him, Aemma could tell. Aegon wasn’t exactly the most patient person, but he tried and that was all Aemma needed. 

“Sure.” The princess whispered and, her chamber filled with only the sound of Aegon’s reading, fireplace. It was strangely soothing. Already tired from the day’s events, Aemma found her eyes begging to be closed quite quickly. 

—--- 

The next morning, Aemma woke up to the news that her brother, Aemond took his eye out last night. The princess frowned upon hearing the news and immediately reached for her cane. She didn’t sacrifice her eye for him to act foolishly. 

Still in her nightgown, the princess rushed toward Aemond’s chamber, a knight trailing behind to ensure her safety. From afar, Aemma could hear the crying of the queen along with her mournful words as well as some whispering from the servants. The young prince’s action scandalised the entire court. 

Aemma didn’t go in at that moment, deciding to confront her brother in solitude. 

“May I ask why you decide to take your eye out?” She questioned the boy softly once she got to be alone with him. Her face and words were gentle and void of judgement. 

The Prince pressed his lips into a thin line, his eye practically bored into his sister’s scar. “It was supposed to be my eye he took, not yours.” 

Aemma shook her head, “It’s a price I must pay for my dragon.” The boy reluctantly said.

“I didn’t go those extra lengths just for you to harm yourself, don’t you understand?” Aemma raised her voice and for a moment, Aemond swore he could see the dragon fire in his usually sweet sister. Sighing, Aemma reached her hands forward, needing to have some physical contact with the boy. 

With Aegon, it was easy for Aemma to guess the boy’s reaction as he never hid it in front of her. But Aemond was a tough shelf to crack and preferred to keep it all to himself instead. So, Aemma always needed to be in physical contact with him every time, to feel his body language. 

Knowing his sister’s habit, the boy complied and wrapped his arms around her back, his head resting against a chest. For a moment, he understood why Aegon was attached to Aemma, for her presence was strangely calming. 

Aemma raised her hands to caress Aemond’s hair as she tried to understand her feelings. It was a mixture of complicated emotions, she was angry, yet felt his action was understandable. “I only wish for you to be well and healthy, Aemond.” She mumbled. “But it seems that faith had another plan for you… I hope you won’t regret your action, brother.” 

“Mother wasn’t pleased.” He softly confessed, pressing his face further into her chest. 

“I can imagine.” Aemma chuckled. While being suited for a Queen, Aemma found Alicent lacked what it took to be a good mother. All of her children were neglected and hurt by her. “After all, now she will have to work harder to find a bride for you, dear brother.” The princess jested. 

“She will need to find one for you first.” 

The cursed princess laughed as she shook her head. “Mine is a whole different matter, I’m afraid.” 

“How so?” 

“It’s complicated, with my lack of eyesight and now a scar, no highborn would wish for my hand. However, father would not give my hand for anyone but those he deemed worthy of a dragon.” She softly explained but the princess could tell by the way Aegon slightly turned his head that he didn’t entirely understand the matter. “You’ll understand it better once you grow up, I promise.” Although it was best if he didn’t, the princess thought. 

“Well, I can protect you when I grow up, therefore there is no need for other men.” Aemma was surprised by the determination in Aemond’s voice, one that was far too strong for a boy his age. And the princess was oddly proud of her brother. 

“It would be my pleasure, brother.” She said with a soft smile, holding no actual regard toward the promise as she deemed it as a child's word. “Now, I must make haste. I have a date with Rhaenyra.” 

Before the princess left the room, Aemond suddenly called for her. The boy didn’t wait for her to turn around as he spoke. “Thank you… for what you did” 

“I’ll do it a thousand times more if I must, Aemond. You’re my brother after all.” 

In the princess’s mind, dragons should always have each other’s back, not daggers at each other’s throats. But little did she know, she would get to witness it all happen, for her eye was the start of a war, one that was nothing but bloodshed. 

Many years later, people would often recall the event where princess Aemma lost her eye as the start of everything. 

The start of a war between the green and the red. 

[blluespirit]

atla fics i want to write but in a future investigative journalist kinda way/vibe; some potential ideas:

The Boiling Rock idea 1: a journalist goes to the Boiling Rock Prison, now at the centre of controversy as reports come to light for the first time detailing the horrific abuse endured by prisoners during the war.

The Boiling Rock idea 2: a journalist investigates the rumours that Fire Lord Zuko and Ambassador Sokka broke in, and out of the Fire Nation's most notorious prison, expecting it not to come to fruition, and instead, uncovering one of the most insane stories of the year.

Pentapox: a journalist investigates a mysterious outbreak of the so-called "pentapox" disease that broke out towards the end of the war in the then Fire Nation-occupied city of Omashu, in which a highly documented disease resulted in the release of dozens of Earth Kingdom citizens from the city to stop the spread, despite there being no record of any similar disease then or since.

Azulon, Ursa and Ozai: a journalist decides to take the plunge and investigate the suspicious and frankly disturbing timeline of events that lead to Fire Lord Ozai taking the throne. Through a series of harrowing interviews with previous servants, political experts and even a special interview with the Fire Lord himself, they learn their suspicions of murder and violence were tame compared to the truth.

Ba Sing Se's missing women: a journalist delves into the bizarre series of disappearances of Ba Sing Se women in the final decade of the war and the state secrets that surround it (i.e., all the women the Dai Li brainwashed were people, and there's no way there wasn't some scary as fuck rumours about the Dai Li kidnapping women and then seeing them again, except they no longer have any idea who their loved ones are)

The Blue Spirit: A journalist looks into the bizarre crimes of a masked vigilante who robbed both the rich and the poor, freed the Avatar, and ended their story in the Ba Sing Se catacombs. The story leaves everyone with a lot of questions, and very few answers.

The Boy in the Iceberg: a journalist decides to delve into the truth of what happened to Avatar Aang in between the time he went missing and 100 years later. Through incredible exclusive interviews with Chief Katara and Ambassador Sokka, they learn about the events that led to Aang being discovered, and what it meant to leave their home behind to save the world.

The Freedom Fighters: A journalist and their journey tracking down one of the most well-known resistance groups in the later half of the war as they learn the fate of it's leader and the terrible cost of war on the children that were pushed into fighting.