#God. I just want my friends and i to be safe and happy. thats all i ask.

[vaguely-human-man]

Being queer and at least somewhat politically active/aware in the south rn is so surreal. Like. Wake up, check the group chat to discover the newest horrific ordinance our local gov is trying to implement. Arrange plans for people to go speak against it. Listen to your friend vent about almost getting arrested for trying to verbally defend themselves against a council person who openly misgendered and belittled them. Read the newest notes about safety and security. Go to a weekly meeting and play card games and drink coffee and register everyone to vote.

Remind each other over and over. Do not engage. Do not get angry. Just keep smiling. Be polite, do not debate. Just say what you have to say. Show who you are to the best of your ability. Try to show these people that we're human too. Do not show fear, aggression, or anything resembling what you actually feel right now. It will get us nowhere.

Focus on the arguments they'll actually listen to. Focus on the money. The time. The feasibility. They've already decided we aren't human so ask a different question. Who's gonna check everyone's ID before they use the bathroom? Are you really gonna make every business with only one bathroom build a second one to comply with the ridiculously specific language written here? Is this decision based on any actual statistics about trans people being predators? Do you expect citizens to police their fellow people? What is this really about?

Lose anyway. Console each other with snacks and show-and-tell while discussing how to turn this failure into momentum. Start talking about it to everyone you know. The first article hits in less than 24 hours. Queer orgs in other parts of the state are offering support and lawyers.

You're all different ages ranging from early 20s to late 40s. You all have day jobs, volunteer work, and families. You are some of the most politically informed people alive whether you want to be or not. None of you want to be doing this. You want game nights without an undercurrent of tension, you want festivals and parades without always keeping your ears tuned for gunfire. But instead you spend meeting nights strategizing, organizing, working to weave support networks at every opportunity. Do you need a ride to vote? Did everyone check their registration? Who's bringing food, who's covering the vegan and dairy-free option? Is everyone up to date on their Covid vax? Who's going to the action two towns over, who needs coaching on how to go about it? Who needs a ride? Here's the latest laws we should be aware of. Here's a meme about how angry we all are.

And the council person says 'I love you. I respect you. But I don't want you in the bathroom with my grandkids."

And the group chat says 'Dont go to this business, they called me a slur'

And your mother says 'youre overreacting'

And your world gets narrower. Your friends get more tired. More and more resource packets get compiled. Where to get healthcare- trans or general. Where to get help for college, employment, housing. Where to get therapy. Where to get a haircut.

Time marches on. The walls feel like they're closing in. You hold them back together with all your might.

You scream. Together. Often, intentionally. Take genuine time to yell out your frustrations before going back to work.

You fall in love over and over with the people around you. Listen to their hopes and their dreams, watch the way their fire ignites when we make genuine steps forward. Watch how it dims when we go backward.

Keep going. Wake up. Eat anything you can manage to swallow. Reach a hand out to your siblings. Hold them close. Take a walk in the fresh air to try and feel better. Keep going. Keep going. Keep fighting. Take a deep breath, hold on to hope with both hands like it's the only thing that can save you because it is. Keep going.

And it's just that. Over and over again, with no clear end in sight. But dammit. You and your bunch of misfits are gonna bring about that end with your bare hands if it kills you.

[bth3cowboi]

snoop the bling, cs55xreader

part 1 part 3 part 4

masterlist

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

summary: summer break starts and that means traveling with a snoopy plushie and a boyfriend (or maybe a future husband). Also, his friend is there.

format: social media au

a/n: people asked for this and I deliver cause i love snoopy

( instagram )

ynraces 17h

liked by lewishamilton, f1 and 1.333.561 others

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, ynraces and 786.566 others

carlossainz55 Best way to spend summer😎☀️

tagged ynraces;

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user1 here before yn calls carlos his sweet baby or smh cute like that

ynraces SLUT

user1 oh that is not it

ynraces 🤤🔥I love u my unemployed princess

carlossainz55 I dont know what to think about this

carlossainz55 but I love you too😂

user2 WHERE IS THE CHILD, THE BABY

ynraces hes safe ashore!!

user3 wait im new, they have a baby??

user4 no😭😭 they call yn’s snoopy their baby

ynraces

liked by carlossainz, f1 and 808.445 others

ynraces Mallorca with my baby love💙🤿 (and carlos is here too)

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user1 thank you for the blessing (carlos photo)

user2 theres a snoopy, theres a like

user3 a snoopy is always gonna be there🙄 this is yn’s page

landonorris Enjoy your alone time for now😈

ynraces im expecting you with HATE btw dont come

landonorris I’ll be there soon and he’ll be with me😍🤞

ynraces youre sick!! homewrecker!!!

landonorris girl fuck your baby snoopy

ynraces BRO??? carlos say sum😭😭

carlossainz55 Please don’t fight in the comments❤️ you have the vacation for that

ynraces 🤡

user4 that snoopy deserves some rest god

carlossainz55 2h

liked by landonorris and 900.343 others

replies

landonorris

Oh she really doesn’t have a clue

carlossainz55

No😂

I didn’t insist either

Don’t want her to get suspicious

landonorris

I can’t wait to take the pictures now HAHA

Everything is ready btw just waiting for you both

carlossainz55

Ok👍

liked by landonorris

carlossainz55

liked by scuderiaferrari, ynraces and 1.455.320 others

carlossainz55 She said yes! ❤️💍 Thank you Yn for being the woman you are, I can’t wait to call you my wife. I love you more than anything in this world.

tagged ynraces;

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ynraces 🥹🥹 Love you soooo much

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️

user1 OMG OMG

user2 chat is this real??

user3 now thats a rockkkkk

charles_leclerc Congratulations guys😍❤️

carlossainz55 Thanks mate!

user4 imagine driving in f1 with your wife THE DREAM

landonorris Wow what a beautiful ring🤩 The friend that helped chose it must be the best

carlossainz55 🤫

ynraces u did great for once congrats

landonorris 🤩🤩

user5 Carlos must be crying and jumping seeing this interaction

user6 his wife and his boy lmao

ynraces

liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton and 2.445.678 others

ynraces swipe for a surprise!🪐

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ynraces pinned Te amo mucho, Carlos. ❤️ You are my everything.

carlossainz55 Te amo tambien😁

user1 IS THIS HOW I FIND OUT?

user2 me 2 😭 I wish I saw Carlos post first

user3 wym I cant marry Yn anymore

user4 Ohhh are we going to see two sainz in the grid now

lewishamilton Congrats you two🫶

ynraces thank u lew!

user5 I was worried Snoopy wasn’t gonna be here but Yn delivered as always

landonorris Cool photos👍 Call me for the wedding too

ynraces I dont want you crying at the wedding too iugh

landonorris those were happy tears💔

( twitter )

——

a/n: The snoopy story continuous!! if you liked it and want to see more just say so🩷 my asks are open!!

[lizzieisright]

JUST READ YOUR OMEGA!ABBY FANFIC AND OMFG?? THATS SO GOOD!!! LITERALLY AMAZING WRITING<3

If your requests are open, how about Omega!Abby and Alpha!reader where they mark and scent eachother? :D

Thank youu

thank you so much! I call this one "All The Times When Ellie Williams Questioned If She Still Wanted To Be Friends With Abby" ft. Abby's alpha.

female alpha!reader x omega!abby

Palestine: what can you do

Tags: dead dove: do not eat. a/b/o universe (female alphas have dicks), modern AU, there's some smut. 1.3k words.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Ellie Williams is the biggest victim of your relationship. She thinks she has a right for moral compensation for what she has to put up with, because you two are disgusting. 

(She is jealous)

It starts innocently enough: Abby texts her about how cute you’re and how you scented her totally by accident. Ellie rolls her eyes, but smiles and sends Abby a meme.

The first time when you scent Abby it happens unconsciously. You're hugging goodbye after one of your dates, and as you put your head on Abby's shoulder, you nuzzle into her neck. Abby freezes, while you get confused. And then it dawns on you.

“Oh god.” You say, horrified. Abby is blushing, shocked, but she doesn't smell bad. “Oh god, I'm sorry.”

“It's- it's okay.” Abby says as she touches her neck. She can smell how your scents mixed and it makes her feel giddy. “I like it.”

You grin widely and toy with Abby's fingers, like a lovesick idiot. Abby doesn't reciprocate, and yeah, maybe it hurts your feelings a bit, you don't say anything. Abby is not obligated to scent you back. 

Then it goes to: "I scented her back today and she looked so happy!!" Which is great to know, but Ellie's lonely ass doesn't want to read it right after she embarrassed herself in front of Dina.

When Abby still doesn't reciprocate after the third time you scented her, you start worrying. So you talk to her. 

“Do you want me to stop scenting you? You don't smell uncomfortable, but-” Abby looks at you with wide eyes, probably panicking. “Fuck, I should've asked before I did it, I'm such an idiot.” 

Abby panics more and grips your hands tightly. 

“I like it. Don't stop, please. And you don't need to ask.” Abby smiles gently and you turn into a puddle. Then Abby frowns. “I guess I feel embarrassed, you know- Because my scent is so weak. That's why I don't scent you back.”

You blink. And blink again. It's true, Abby doesn't have the most suffocating scent, not sharp vanilla or god forbid, lilies, but once you know how Abby smells, you can always catch it. And to you it doesn't matter - you smell her on yourself, and this is all you need. Just have a piece of her on you, comforting you.

“I love your scent.” You say and Abby's pheromones burst. “I want your scent on me.” 

Abby smiles, happy to hear it, happy to be enough for you. Then she shyly moves closer and nuzzles into your neck too, making your knees wobble. Your scents mix perfectly. 

It becomes quite a common ritual for you: you nuzzle each other when you cuddle, when Abby sits on your lap, when you sit on her lap, you always bury your noses in each other's scent glands. It's safe and soothing, and makes you both feel like you belong to each other, comforting and protective. And Ellie understands that - it’s cute. You two are cute, and she is very happy for Abby, especially since you look like you genuinely believe the sun shines out of Abby’s ass. So she keeps her teasing to herself and lets you two enjoy each other.

Then one day Dina tells Ellie how scary you are when you get territorial and Ellie thinks she will kill you, but then Dina asks if it’s true that Ellie broke Owen’s wrist for cheating on Abby and Ellie’s bloodthirst subsides.

You can't help it, you hate when other alphas look at Abby and fucking sniff her. She is yours. Abby finds it endearing, because she is so not scared of you, you're safe, but she starts to notice how other alphas turn away when your scent gets stronger. She doesn't piece it together until Dina points it out, when your alpha presence affects her alpha presence.

“You make her so fucking scary, Abby.” Dina laughs while you stare down yet another alpha, radiating aggression. “One day she is going to rip someone to shreds for you.”

Again, Abby would laugh, but she knows alphas are more than capable of doing it. Abby tells Dina about what happened to Owen when he cheated on her and Dina smirks, while her scent changes to attraction. Abby grins, knowing that she just made Ellie look more appealing in Dina's eyes. 

Ellie can live with that. She understands, she also gets jealous easily, and it is hilarious watching you get all over Abby without even realising it.

You get possessive unconsciously: you see an alpha staring at Abby and you wrap your arms around her, rubbing your cheek over her neck, making sure your scents are mixed, and Abby giggles. 

“What are you doing?” She asks and you freeze like a deer, your arms locked around her. 

“I-um.” What are you supposed to say? Sorry, this guy was looking at you so I claimed you? 

“Yeah?” Abby keeps teasing you and you bite her shoulder lightly. 

“This guy was looking at you so I claimed you.” You admit and Abby laughs. 

“Oh, I needed that.” Abby says, taking a breath after laughing at you. “Silly, silly alpha.” 

You huff, but when Abby kisses you, you melt. 

But then you stare her down and honestly, Ellie feels like challenging you out of pure fucking spite. She obviously doesn’t - first of all, because she understands, second of all, because unlike weakass Owen, you will kick her ass. Abby is fucking glowing and Ellie swallows her pride for the sake of her friend’s happiness. 

When Ellie gets “you know I just realised that she is MY alpha. like. she is *mine*. it do be crazy out there” Ellie doesn’t expect to see you next day with two hickeys on your neck and a lovesick grin. Abby looks embarrassed and Ellie makes fun of her for it, but then you growl at her and Ellie starts making fun of you for being so whipped. (she never mentions that you’re wearing marks and not Abby, she is not an asshole).

Abby doesn't use scenting as a form of claiming you, because she thinks her scent is not strong enough. She much prefers to scent you in order to soothe you, especially when you're stressed, because it calms you down, but when Abby gets territorial, she leaves marks. 

It happens for the first time before you two have sex, but you're already getting handsy with each other. You're making out on your couch and Abby smells your arousal, feels your hard-on against her thigh, and you whine so prettily into her mouth when she grinds against you. 

Abby suddenly feels so possessive - she wants to claim you, she wants everyone to know you're hers, and her kisses become rough. You whine when she starts kissing your jaw and then moves to your neck, licking your scent glands with her hot tongue. 

“Fuck, I'm gonna-” Abby sucks a bruise on your neck, just under your scent glands, and you cum, wetting your pants. “Fuck, holy shit- Abby-” You keep whining and Abby growls, sucking another hickey. “Holy shit, baby-” 

She leaves your neck alone and bites your collarbone. Your eyes become red and Abby whines herself when your thick alpha presence starts filling her nose. She pants into your neck, too turned on, and you grip her waist tighter. 

“Please.” Abby begs and you push your hands down her pants, rubbing her clit. “Yes, fuck, right there- fuck!” 

She is so pretty when she cums. 

And okay, it’s all cool. Ellie is cool with everything. But she fucking hates your ruts. Not only it reminds her of her own loneliness, but it also turns you into a fucking idiot. It’s unbecoming.  You’re smart and funny and Ellie, despite her complaints, is actually fond of you. You’ve become one of her closest friends, since when she was really stressed out about Dina and being in love with another alpha, you’ve never judged her and helped her through it. But your ruts come and Ellie wishes she could strangle you.

You're close to your rut, Abby is supposed to study with Ellie in the evening, and your monkey brain needs to make it clear that Abby is yours, even though you know Ellie is not a threat. You actually like her, she is cool and keeps your baby safe when you're not around, but alpha instincts can't be really defied. So in the morning you fuck Abby in the shower and suck a hickey near Abby's scent glands when she cums. She doesn't pay attention: you always play with her neck, so it's nothing new.

So when Abby shows up to their usual study session in the library Ellie is appalled. Abby, oblivious as ever, doesn't even notice it, but Ellie can't stop staring at a hickey on Abby's collarbone: she knows why you put it there, you rut-induced jealous moron.

“She marked you?” 

Abby blushes. 

“What?”

“You have a hickey.” Ellie nods at her collarbone and suddenly the room smells like arousal. “No, you're not getting horny in the library, Anderson. Have some respect.”

Abby blushes harder. 

“I swear to God Abby.” Ellie hisses and Abby laughs, but the smell of arousal goes down. “Keep your alpha in check.”

“Come on, you know I'm worse with the marking than she is.” Abby smiles. “Last time I made a fucking necklace around her neck because Nora hugged her.” 

“Please, I don't want to know.” Ellie whines and Abby laughs, a manic grin forms on her lips.

“Oh, you know what she does when she is in a rut? She rubs her c-”

“Fuck off Abby! I don't need to know!” Ellie groans, tired of her shitty best friend and her shitty alpha and their shitty sex life. 

“Maybe Dina will do it too, you know.”

Ellie blushes and doesn't say anything, too embarrassed to admit that Dina already did. 

“Why am I friends with you? Why am I friends with your girlfriend?” Ellie shakes her head and Abby laughs. 

Ellie thinks you’re the worst when you’re in rut with how possessive you are, but she has to find out the truth the hard way. Abby comes to lunch all grumpy and pouty, and Ellie smells the sour spice of jealousy in her scent. She doesn’t smell hurt, which is great, but it bothers Ellie.

“She got paired for a project with that bitch who always stares at her!” Abby bursts and Ellie nods. She knows the bitch - a cute omega from your class who always stands too close to you during student guide’s meetings and looks at you like you hang the stars. You keep your distance, but it doesn’t stop the omega. So Abby is furious.

“Well shit.” Ellie sighs. 

“I’ll kill her.”

“I’m not visiting you in prison.”

It sucks, Ellie knows. She also hates seeing omegas smile at Dina, especially since she is so friendly. But Ellie can’t control other people, and Abby can’t too.

So it turns out, Abby comes up with a creative solution. 

There are moments when Abby scents you to claim you. You know she is upset about Ollie, and you keep trying to soothe her until Abby decides to take the matter in her own hands. 

She pushes you on the bed and strips under your shocked eyes, but you quickly catch up and start taking your own clothes off. You reach for Abby to give her a kiss, but instead she pushes you again until you lie down, and straddles your chest. You grin and wrap your arms around her thighs, tugging her down until Abby sits on your face, her hot cunt suffocating you. It’s heaven. It’s pure heaven. You grip her thighs and eat her out like a woman starved, licking and sucking her clit, lapping at her drooling hole and moaning when you taste her. Abby is whimpering above you, but then she finds herself and grips your hair to yank your head down, holding it one place. 

“Stick your tongue out.” Abby growls and you obey, so turned on by your girlfriend you start humping air.

Abby starts to ride your face aggressively, until your damn eyelashes are wet with her cum and you let her, moaning into her cunt as you get yourself off. Abby starts growling “you’re mine” on every tilt of her hips, her puffy clit twitching on your tongue, and you’re done. You cum and Abby keeps going until her thighs trap you and her slick drowns you while she shakes and whimpers on top of you. 

The next day Ellie, poor unsuspecting Ellie, hugs you hello when you meet her in the morning in a coffee shop, and she catches a very strong scent. Abby’s very strong scent. It’s not the one that she scents you with - it’s something richer, deeper, as if her usual scent of fresh roses was condensed and spilled on your fa-

You have the audacity to laugh when Ellie connects the dots. 

“I hate you both so fucking much. Why do I even bother.” Ellie huffs while you laugh, pleased. “Go wash your fucking face, you stink!” 

But you can only smile, absolutely love-drunk. It's fair to say, Ollie backs off immediately after this.

Of course, eventually Ellie makes peace with it.

(She gets her revenge)

[remember-the-fanfics]

Part two of last post

-

To be fair (Y/n) didn't have trouble for the next month, with the extermination happening, they guess Timothy actually did find a hole to die in.

They would guess wrong when he showed up with friends, who thought it would be a good idea to burn the hotel down with people inside it.

Man, this dude just keeps coming up with bad ideas.

Alastor caught them in time and stopped them while allowing everyone to get up and see the who and the what, Angel Dust, being the first one outside, saw Timothy face and quickly realized the why.

"You!" Said Angel Dust, getting Alastor interest.

"Do you know this not so fine fellow?"

"He came in like a week or so before you showed up, wanted (Y/n) to break the deal they just made with him because he's a lazy asshole." Said Angel Dust just when Vaggie and Charlie showed up.

"Why did you come get us? I would have shown this estúpido not to come back." Said Vaggie with her spear, ready to hurt someone.

"Or offer to join the hotel instead?" Said Charlie, pushing Vaggie's spear down.

"I-I would have loved too if that bastard offered, they just threatened me to leave!"

"They did! He said he wasn't doing this rainbow shit." Said Angel Dust "and they only threatened you after you insulted me!"

"Can we stab them?" Asked Niffty, showing up on Husk shoulder with (Y/n).

"Who are we-." Said (Y/n) before seeing who it was. "Oh."

"You bitch!" Said Timothy, his friends had joined in on the insults as well.

"Quiet." Said Alastor, making all of them shut up. "What should we do with-."

Timothy with a knife went for the closest person, Angel Dust, that he could reasonably kill or injure, (Y/n) didn't ask and he wasn't in anyway to talk later. As quick as he tried, (Y/n) got in the way.

"M̶o̶t̸h̴e̷r̶f̴u̶c̶k̷e̸r̷." They said, grabbing his arm that held the knife and holding him back from anyone.

"Now." Said Timothy, confusing (Y/n) for a second until they saw each of his friends had a weapon.

Everyone was sleeping, they were prepared for a fight, only Alastor could take on these sinners and maybe Vaggie with her spear.

(Y/n) needed to do something! Do something, do something, do something-!

Then (Y/n) didn't remember the rest.

-

"I'll keep you safe!" A much younger human version of (Y/n) said,

"I know." Said Someone, (Y/n) couldn't look them in the face anymore.

°°•°

"I kept you... safe." Said a slightly older version of (Y/n). They had so much blood on them, until then (Y/n) didn't know humans had that much blood in them.

"No no no, stay awake, (Y/n)!" Said the Someone, obviously trying to keep them focus and awake.

"I love you... more than anything."

"(Y/n) please-!"

'I love you more than anything, you know that?'

Was what (Y/n) trying to say.

••°•

"(Y/N)!" Said someone else, bring (Y/n) back to what they were doing. They looked around to see Timothy or what was left of him on the ground, in peices, and (Y/n) did not expect to see that much gore.

"Ew, thats not cash money to see.." They said before looking at themselves and getting the conclusion that they were the reason Timothy became a crime scene. "..What exactly happen?"

"You ripped his arm off!" Said Angel Dust, laughing nervously because how could (Y/n) not remember that. "Then you-."

"Ripped him to sheds while Alastor dealt with the rest! You kept making him into smaller and smaller peices!" Said Niffty, climbing up (Y/n). "I'm so happy this happened outside, this would be a mess to clean out of the carpet."

"Are you injured?" Asked Charlie.

"I don't think so- oh God, I'm standing in it, I'm barefoot. I'm gonna take a shower and burn these clothes." Said (Y/n), moving away from the mess they made and putting Niffty down away from it.

"That was a fantastic performance, my dear! You could almost be mistaken for a stray from Cannibal town, if only you used more teeth." Said Alastor, who enjoyed the show after making the rest disappear, killed.

"Thanks, I don't usually fight like that." Said (Y/n). "Can you magic me to my room? I need a shower and to process that." They asked, pointing at the remains.

"Very well, my dear." Said Alastor, sending (Y/n) to their room to clean up. "This was unexpected way to fix the problem, yes?"

"I'm also gonna take a bath, I feel like some of it got on me." Said Angel Dust, walking away.

"I think we all need a shower after watching that." Said Husk, joining him on the walk inside with Niffty following behind.

"Never took the young one to take a hand on approach when doing something like that, well see you all in the morning!" Said Alastor before disappearing in the shadows, leaving Charlie and Vaggie alone.

"Charlie, you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm just worried about (Y/n). We've seen them fight before, never like this. They didn't remember doing this either... I just hope they are okay." Said Charlie, Vaggie nugged Charlie's arm with her own.

"(Y/n) will be fine, they are a powerful Overlord for many reasons. They were protecting us after seeing those sinners had weapons and most of us didn't, that's a good thing." Said Vaggie, trying to cheer up Charlie.

"Like a redeeming good thing!" Said Charlie. "Minus all the gore that happened!"

"Exactly, now let's go inside and take a shower please."

"Oh definitely. That got everywhere."

-

Ta dah! Slightly longer but lore about (Y/n)! They died protecting someone they care about, the why and how they actually died from is unclear for now.

I've had it in my head for weeks now on how they died, can't really spoil anything though.

I also plan for most things I write in my head and I was trying to get (Y/n) to kill the man in the last part but nooo, just arguing.

Sorry to any Timothy tis the name of the letter I typed first.

[huellitaa]

friendship breakups 🎀 . ࣪˖

OKAY. so. i was best friends with this girl for 7 years and only recently i ditched her! after so so so so long i ditched her. finally. and my god i feel SO much better.

˚₊‧꒰ა friendship ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

someone that you experience a bond with.

˚₊‧꒰ა toxic friendship ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

someone who drains you and hurts you while still considering themselves a friend.

i think one of the hardest parts of this whole situation is figuring out what makes somebody toxic for you without constantly over-romanticising all the good parts.

˚₊‧꒰ა clear signs of a toxic friendship ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

♡ dreading communication with them

♡ feeling drained after interactions

♡ being insecure and fearful around them

♡ holding off on telling them big things

♡ used as a joke way too often

♡ kept in the dark as just a "backup plan"

♡ left out & overlooked.

a friend should be somebody who hypes you up and makes you laugh and rambles for ages with you and makes dumb jokes with you and makes you happy and doesn't leave you out or make you feel alienated or upset or anything like that. it took me 4 whole years to actually realise this.

now, if you find yourself in a position where you are experiencing these signs of a toxic friendship but aren't really sure what to do, this is what i did!:

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ weigh out the goods & bads

if you're currently stuck with somebody who makes you feel drained and insecure and whatever else may be making you feel as though maybe you should cut them off, it sounds a little weird but as somebody who works way better puzzling things out when doing it on paper, i made a whole pros and cons list of what this friendship brings to my life. having a physical representation of your confusing thought process around the whole situation can be very beneficial and help to put your thoughts into clarity so you can make a decision that actually helps and aligns with you and go from there.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ figure out your friendship standards

everybody always talks about having standards in romantic relationships and love and all that but i barely hear anything on standards for friendships. friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, and having standards for friendships is equally essential as it would be in a relationship if you dont want to attract scruffy, dirty, insecure people who will only drag you down. ask yourself what your ideal friend looks like; somebody who shares your interests, somebody who supports you, somebody with a similar mindset to you, similar background to you; what is it that you want in a friendship? how do you define friendship? what does that look like for you? make a list and keep it somewhere safe. refer to this when making new friends and cutting them off.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ think back on your actions

a harsh truth of life is sometimes we are the problem. something i did for way longer than i should have is spend time going back over my every word, every movement, every action to see if there was something i did wrong. now dont do what i did, but do just sit down for a little bit and think if there was anything you could have possibly done and bring it up with them to resolve it if you did. admitting your wrongs is not weak. it is the strongest thing one can do.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ get a second opinion

one thing that helped me was talking to my mum about it. me and my mum are really close so i chose her but it can be another close friend, a parent, a partner, just whatever you feel comfy with. try to put it into a hypothetical situation so that they have no prior biased views on the situation and explain to them the scenario and see what they would do and what they would say. if you have no one to do it with, then thats absolutely fine because this is completely optional and just helped me to reassure myself a bit, but you can also think of it from an outsiders perspective or if a friend was telling you that they are experiencing what you're currently going through so you can get an unbiased opinion from yourself.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ let yourself feel how you feel

if you need to, just sit and cry for a bit. journal, write, wallow in your own sadness for a bit if thats what you need to release it from yourself. suppressing and holding all this in is way, way worse for you than letting it out could ever be. just have one night where you rot and cry and be sad about it. this releases the negative energy you've been holding onto about it and i promise you will feel so much lighter afterwards.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ demonising and romanticising

in these situations, its best to keep a neutral mindset towards them. even if its toxic, they were your friends in the first place for a reason and even if you shouldn't romanticise them dont demonise them and completely despise them either because thats not good for you or them. they are still an experience you went through in your life and are to be learnt from, nothing more. respect the good parts just as much as the bad parts.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ dealing with conflict

something i really really worried about for years when i wanted to leave my ex-best friend was the falling out and the social backlash, seeing as she's fairly popular too. but while i was expecting sooo much backlash and conflict, it turns out that if you do it the right way, nobody really cares. sure, it might attract a little attention for a while, but trust in yourself and remembering that nobody will actually care about this in a few weeks will get you through and you can move on with your life. if people can turn against you from only hearing one side of the story, they were never your people. plus, why are you stressing about validation from people you don't even like in the first place?

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ detachment

one thing that has saved me in many, many situations, including this one, is not giving a fuck. i will be making a post on detachment at some point but detachment in friendship breakups especially is so important because its easy to let your emotions get the best of you and control you and make irrational decisions in these situations. staying completely indifferent and detached and comfortable in yourself with you as your main priority has to be one of if not the most important part of this whole process.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ moving on

obviously moving on is difficult. moving on might be one of the most difficult things about the whole experience of a friendship breakup. so along with feeling the emotions and releasing them like i mentioned earlier, acknowledge that it's okay to mourn the past, even if they were bad for you. thats perfectly normal and okay. but do not let it consume you. trust in yourself and that this is for the best, and be proud of yourself for getting out of that friendship because there's so much you haven't yet learned and so many people you haven't yet met that will change your whole life in ways you can't possibly imagine right now. ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ trusting yourself

trust that no matter what's going on right now you will always be able to bounce back from it. trust your judgement and that if it makes you feel this bad, you arent overreacting, you arent overemotional, you arent just sensitive and it is genuinely affecting and impacting you. everything is an experience to be learnt and grow from and this is no different. its uncomfortable and its scary but the shift to getting everything you want is often scary and uncomfortable because of how much has to change to achieve that reality. if there's one person you're always going to have no matter what, it's going to be you. you are your own best friend. trust yourself above anybody and everybody else.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ actually cutting them off

one thing i did that i feel could have ended things a lot easier is not procrastinate the process of actually cutting them off. it was a little easier for me because she was ghosting me anyway so i did the same and told her no whenever she wanted me to do something because i refuse to be a second option, but if you're not comfortable with that and can't do it in a good or polite way because of whatever circumstances you might be in then just politely tell them. plan out what you wanna say in your head, dont think about it and just tell them. it will all be for the best, i promise. being uncomfortable is a part of change. you can do this.

overall, everybody enters your life and everybody leaves your life for a reason. please don't take this personally. people are not meant to stay forever. relationships are precious and fleeting, no matter what kind, and you should treasure them, good or bad, while accepting it might not be right for you anymore. people aren't supposed to stay forever and losing friends shows that you are growing. you've got this, okay? 💞💗

[kiachiako]

april nct recs

my library of favorites from APR <3 all creds to authors

[ sorted by word count ]

series

JAEMIN | better than your next (i'm the next) | @ddeonuism 11.9k [ part one ]

RENJUN | messenger | @dojunie — smau | You find a phone number written on the mirror of the Sulim Library's second floor bathroom. It’s scrawled messily across the glass in erasable expo marker, the handwriting underneath almost closer to hieroglyphics than lettering— and what you thought it read, was ‘SEND DUCK PICS FOR A GOOD TIME.’ (You suppose, in hindsight, it was a good thing this person’s penmanship was so shit— because if you knew what it really said, you might have never stumbled across the oddly intriguing inbox of one Huang Renjun.)

oneshots

[m] JAEHYUN | seeds of pomegranates | @anashins 29.5k — The day the god of the underworld steals you away, he expects to have found a timid wife to make his isolated life more bearable. Little does he know that the rose he picked from the garden called earth bears knives instead of thorns, and he might not have found a timid wife, but a queen with a heart as dark as his.

[m] JAEHYUN | hearts are won at practice | @angelwonie 21.2k — jung jaehyun is an obnoxious, way too handsome footballer whom you have no intention of getting to know. at least until a series of coincidences forces you to spend time with him, and you realize there might be more to him than what meets the eye.

CHENLE | potential | @rrxnjun 20k — rich kids au, childhood friends au, friends with benefits au. angst, fluff, suggestive | You saw his potential without seeing credentials. And maybe that's the issue.

[m] HAECHAN | monochrome | @sundaysundaes — Lee Donghyuck once believed in the concept of soulmates—how fate would connect a red thread from one lover to another, in a form of dreams and memories. That was how his parents met, that was how they claimed their happiness, and he wanted nothing more but to live his life the way they lived theirs. Until one day, as he sees her slipping away from his hands, he has no choice but to stop believing entirely.

CHENLE | i still love you | @xiaodejunletsact 17.4k — high school can be complicated. thats why when your crush of three years, zhong chenle, approaches you out of nowhere offering to drive you home you are right to question his intentions.

HAECHAN | free trial wedding style | @liliansun 10.6k — when a random, cute, guy comes up to you and practically asks for you to follow along, you do so without much thought. that is until you get home and see he’s your new neighbor who just might need your help a little more than you expected.

[m] HAECHAN + MARK | the girl is mine | @luvrkives 10.5k — mark and hyuck can't stop fighting over you. who fucks you better, who makes you laugh more, who you like most, who fucks you better, yada yada yada. but honestly, why argue when you would happily take them both?

JAEHYUN | love you goodbye | @serendipityseulgi 10.3k — the one with the story of dysfunctional love between you and jaehyun. aka, you both want different things and your love isn’t always enough.

[m] JOHNNY | color evasion | @ncteez 8.7k — or the one where you join a kink website and a specific dom’s profile catches your attention enough to actually meet him at a hotel and practically ignore your safe words bc man, he’s good. 

[m] HAECHAN + JAEHYUN | mine too | @waithyuck 7.5k — donghyuck x jaehyun x reader (f), smut, basically pwp

JAEHYUN | eye of affection | @aitarose 6.6k — for as long as he can remember, jaehyun’s world has been in black and white - giving him no reason to appreciate his mother’s profession as an artist and the beauties that art can provide. however, an accidental meeting with you gives him reason to doubt his former beliefs - proving to him that there may be true beauty in a world that’s void of everything bright, that beauty being the sunshine that you provide. 

HAECHAN | full of love (and stars) | @httplastic 6k — friends/roommates to lovers, light angst

[m] HAECHAN | unavoidable | @sunpopz 5.8k — after swearing to yourself you're done catching feelings for people; you meet someone who makes that incredibly difficult. you think you can avoid him... then you're assigned a final together.

RENJUN | hard to let go | @cinnajun 4.3k — your high school friend group had an ambiguous and messy end, and you never got any closure for anything. two years later, and lee donghyuck’s girlfriend lives on the same floor as you, and you’re forced to face huang renjun, whose abandonment hurt you the most.

HAECHAN | she's quiet | @ijuliet 3.4k — although you were not looking to make new friends, the ones you had tried their hardest to push you out of your comfort zone to find something abnormal for you. which is why you’re at a frat party on a thursday night, watching as lee donghyuck observes you from afar.

[m] HAECHAN | all bark no bite | @jjsneo 2.5k — lee haechan is the most annoying man you’ve ever encountered. but that doesn’t mean you don’t find him hot; and maybe that’s why he has you flat on his mattress one night at a random frat party.

JAEHYUN | in the rain | @sehunniepotwrites 1.9k — All this time, you were looking for love in the wrong places and in the wrong people. As a serial dater, you never thought you would find it in the pouring rain and in the person you trusted the most. 

. . .

ur fav recs n fics blog is back hehe | happy reading <3

xoxo

[crispystarfishhottub]

A Crush Huh?

A visit to your bother ends up with a happy ending

"Ugh" I groaned as my alarm sounded. Jet lag was a bitch sometimes and it was kicking my ass today. "Good morning!" My brother Narrator shouted as he swang open my door "gods Grant let me rest" I say pulling my pillow over my face "I just want to sleep" I pulled my cover over me again ready to fall back to sleep "No no no today all the boys are coming! You have to help me sort the house before they arrive!" He said laughing as he pulled my cover off. I reluctantly got out of bed and pulled on my hoodie "fine but im doing it all in my pajamas until they actually get here. How bad can it be to clean?"

Turns out, cleaning is a lot harder when jet lagged. It took hours "oh shit they're here!" Grant said running to the door. I blinked before bolting up the stairs to put on a pair of jeans. When I rejoined him downstairs I saw the familiar faces of his friends "hey guys" I said giving a small wave "good to see you all again" a chorus of "hellos" sounded back as I took my place on the couch next to Eddie "hey how've you been kid?" He asked bumping my shoulder "im not that much younger then you Eddie im not a kid" I laugh "and I've been good! A little tired from the flight over but otherwise im ok"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw juicy looking at me. He sent a wink my way and I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh?" I hear as Josh moves onto the arm of the couch "what's this im seeing?" He said in a teasing tone "nunya" I reply getting back up "I think someone's got a crush~" Mully sung causing the room to laugh "oh shut up Mulls" I laughed before yawning heading up stairs "im taking a nap im still jetlagged. Later nerds"

I flop onto my bed and sigh. Was my crush on him that obvious? The only one aware so far was Grant and thats because he caught me twirling my hair once at Juicys joke. I hear a knock at my door causing me to sit up "come in!" I call watching as the door opened. Juicy stepped in "hey" he smiled closing the door behind me "hey Gaege. Wanna join me on the bed?" I ask patting the spot next to me "how forward of you (Y/n)" my face must of burned like a thousand suns "oh just sit down" I mumbled covering my face in embarrassment. A comfortable silence fell around us before I felt his hands gently take mine. "Let me see that beautiful face"

I slowly took my hands away from my face. "There you are" he said softly his face inches away from mine "so you have a crush on me huh?" He asked "who blabbed" I whispered softly "Narrator did. I don't blame him though. I've been trying to give you signals" he admitted "maybe this one will be more clear". I felt his hand gently cup my cheek as he leaned in, eyes half closed. I met him half way as our lips touched in a hesitant kiss, my hands moving to rest on his shoulders. His free hand pulled me by my hip into his waist as we kissed. The kiss growing more passionate with each passing minute. When we pulled away I kept my eyes closed "ok wow" I smiled "does that make it more clear?" I felt him chuckle softly "yes it does" I confirmed opening my eyes to meet his "safe to say we both have a crush on the other" he nodded and gently stroked my cheek "so how about we give us a go?" I blushed and grinned

"I would like that"

From outside I heard a loud cheer "FINALLY!" Grants voice was heard saying making us both laugh.

[habitsbf]

This is kinda my theory but ive wanted to hear your opinion on it that maybe the reason why Habit absolutely haves to posses somebody in order to have a physical from is because to more blend in and control people AND because he physically cannot take on his full acually form because the universe that everymanhybrid plays in dosent alowes him to

AHHH THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY ‼️ i like the idea of that theory and have thought about this before! HABIT is a predator, it makes sense that he would blend in with his surroundings to basically get closer to his prey/victims. before HABIT revealed himself in series, he had inhabited evan a few times before and pretended to be him. he used that to trick the others into false security, to lure them closer before eventually striking.

some examples of this i can think of are in the videos "slender man" on the crash621 channel and "Ryan & the SEVENTRIALSOFHABIT" on the main EverymanHYBRID channel.

in "slender man" evan and vinnie/vinny are hanging out together and playing video games. they are both in a happy, comfortable, and presumably safe environment. vin feels safe around evan and doesnt feel the need to worry, but before they actually sat down and started up any games, you see evan talking to "someone" about slenderman and his violent impulses. thats obviously not a good sign!! this someone convinces evan to agree with them, claiming evan (who is irritated he hasnt been able to attack anything) can get a hunt out of it. as the video continues and they hangout together, after a while, the video cuts to just vin playing alone. once he dies in game, "evan" appears from around the corner and stares at the screen. vin, believing it was really evan, approaches him. this is when HABIT attempts to strike, throwing him to the ground and attempting to stab him. luckily for vin, he was able to overpower HABIT and throw him off (which i never see people talk about for some reason? like, thats such a cool detail to me. that proves HABIT isnt as powerful as he makes himself out to be) anyways, HABIT blended in and hid behind evan for a while before he thought it was a good time to reveal himself. he wanted vinnie/vinny to feel false security in hopes of catching him off guard.

in "Ryan & the SEVENTRIALSOFHABIT" theres a scene where "evan" is caught by jeff talking to "himself." you can tell his voice is off, his voice is a little more raspy/growly than normal. thats clearly not evan. jeff doesnt piece that together though, mainly since at the time they were less aware of what HABIT was capable of. "evan" tells whoever he is talking with (im assuming it to be slenderman) "you gotta remember, that whatever i want, I GET. whatever i want. i want their fuckin' blood and i will take it. there aint a GOD damn thing you can do about it." which obviously is out of character for evan. he goes on to say "scare evan, hes just a bitch. not me. i will fuck you up the next chance i get." all of this confuses jeff, especially since this all seems to be coming from his friends mouth. jeff speaks up after a moment and calls out to evan. this causes HABIT to pause, and his tone of voice immediately switches back from raspy and growly to evans usual tone, a more friendly tone. he puts the act back on, acting nice and saying, "hey man, how you doing? i didnt see you there. i was just talking out loud." making an obvious excuse in hopes to not scare jeff off as he got up to approach him, knife in hand. jeff could sense this wasnt normal and something about it was dangerous, so he turned around and ran away before HABIT got any closer.

moving onto the topic of his his true form, while i do like the idea of him not being able to use that form in the universe EverymanHYBRID takes place in, it also just makes sense that he would choose not to use it. i mean, lets look at the actors drawing of HABITs true form:

this doesnt exactly look like a creature you would see out roaming around in your backyard everyday. im not sure what color he canonically is, but going off of all the fanon concepts ive seen, no natural wolf-like creatures has purple fur. they also dont have spider legs coming from their backs. again, HABIT is a predator. hes supposed to blend in, not stick out. his appearance is threatening, and to get closer to people, he needs to be NOT appear threatening. he needs to trick them into feeling safe and secure. he needs them to not yet know he is there. not until he is ready.

ANYWAYS LONG RAMBLE OVER 🎉 i showed my best friend this ask and discussed it with them a bit, so heres a silly screenshot from that

[polyhexian]

Ive been wanting to know what you think about the possibility of alajasrius VERY FAR INTO THE FUTURE most likely if ever even possible, it took the aladarius ship 4 YEARS to be just hinted at becoming canon. Jasper is a very complicated character, he and Darius love eachother a lot but he also just HATES him he cant not, he ignored his baby for his whole life and only regretted it later on and after everything had gone down. All of his emotions are extremes. Alador and Darius have always just had a Thing, I could see Alador and Darius slowly getting closer and Als just wondering what the situationship with that jasper guy and darius is?? Their entire relationships just forever screwed and it just SUCKS for them! Everyones trying their very best (for Hunter of course)

Jasper needs a support system so badly, too, the most recent chapter was such a perfect example of that

god you know before i got to post canon eventually i was like "this is the one where im finally pulling the trigger on alajasrius" but ive now made darius and jasper so unbelievably obsessed with each other i forgot to even mention alador existing.

yeah i need to actually WRITE it but i have notes on it. luz took one look at hunter and said "my brother now" and i wanted to show thats a trait she picked up from her mother lol, camila takes one look at this fucking walking disaster and shes like "my brother now" or, well. friend, you know. its for the bit. but shes takes a distinct interest in "get out of your stupid cave and come to wine and soap opera night" vibes. i mean, hes her sons dad, and like, i think its hard for a parent not to sympathize on some level with him as a parent so fucking desperate to keep his baby safe. and like shes also been in a position where she lost luz, and she lost her because she failed to provide her a life she could live in. and she could have died because of it. and now luz is living with someone else, a new parent she found, because thats where shes happiest and healthiest and because she loves her she has to let her go live that life shes actually happy living. and SHE is parenting a kid now whose parent is in a similar position. he cant provide him a life where hes safe and happy so hes found a new parent. in another dimension, even. and again like. luz gets her overwhelming empathy from her mom. theres this guy here and hes suffering and sad and he has absolutely no one. she moved out here with her son and her husband and her husband died and she didnt know anyone in town and. she was just alone. she didnt have a support structure or friends or help. just a kid she grew farther and farther apart from. nobody was there for her then and shes damn well not going to watch someone go through something similar when shes right there and can do something about it.

also she doesnt really like darius either because of how he treated hunter in the past and shes not particularly a fan of the fact hunter lives there sometimes and she kinda thinks he should fuck off so they can complain about him together

[rhythmicjester]

💜💜🥳🥳🥳🥳 HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIDGET!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳💜💜

(this was meant to post yesterday actually during their bday but tumblr shat itself ARRRGHHHH… alas..)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE OUR WONDERLAND CHARACTER WHOM I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART 🥹🥹💜 featuring my lovely friends who enable my insanity

edited floaty gidget and me being stupidly sappy n rambley under the cut..

okay so I started playing our wonderland like a year ago now and safe to say its like totally taken over my life 🥹 and gidget. aagh. gidget. aagh. aaagh!!!!

im really bad at articulating stuff (probably on account of my mental impairment but… YKNWO… XD) and there is lots of feelings and thoughts and agh gidget. GIDGETTT!!!! i will try my best to word

our wonderland as a whole has grown to mean a shit ton to me (but ill talk more abt that at length in a later post) and i love all the characters so so fucking much and especially gidget and iggy. especially gidget, oh gidget has thieved away with this aching heart of mine. or something.

im always extremely drawn to n obsessed w characters and storylines around like… a self suppression, muting, coiling up into some unreal ideal and reality so deeply it becomes some 'new reality', until you can barely see yourself anymore…. im crazy abt that shit. it rules. and gidget is all that. and also just a silly illy billy booly looly who i want to put in my mouth and chew up like a wad of paper. uh

i think about them like all the time 24/7 366 (cause its a leap year!) and im always like. thinking on new angles and perspectives and little intricacies and probably a solid 80% of it is just all in my head but god. i love them sm they are so awesome n well written n silly n WAAAAAAAAAAAGH

i love gidget so much. i love our wonderland so much. thankyou carrot so much for your wonderful phenomenal storytelling, characters and art, im like consistently entranced and blown away by it istg.

again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIDGET!!!!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳💜💜💜🥹 and i hope all of you have very fantastic days. i luv this game n fandom n gidget so much. life may be very stormy and dark and scary but oh it truly is joyous i think. but maybe thats a little too sappy even for me

i eep now

goodnight !

(oh and heres the floaty gidget. im really proud of how it turned out. i keep on flying around the print out of it and saying 'look they have smelled some delicious pie…' i am a very predictable and simple person.)

[unexpectedbrickattack]

heehee

heeheehee

Adding some more hcs here bc its under a readmore and therefore confined to the Secret Thoughts box. Obviously suggestive but mostly relationship stuff bc i cannot help myself 😔

So i feel like i am an outlier that really enjoys noise/noisette like i think they are sooo cute…they are just silly guys ! So no this is not ANYONE cheating i must make this soooo clear i am so touchy about this subject; this is my heehee haha safe space LMAO i want to keep that kind of drama faaaar away from me.

A quick tldr for noise (that i will start calling theo bc i think its a cute name LOL i dunno where it came from but i love it im taking it) is that: hes a nepo baby that was able to start a business and brand w that money, and then stayed in a bubble for the rest of his life bc his image and branding is too important to lose. He hung out w the same rich people to network properly and maintain status. He didnt have the time and courage to go into the circles he WANTED to go into.

I had a whole essay written but this is supposed to be a little tldr lmao basically. Hes bi and curious and gus is always extremely overwhelmingly happy and eager to mess around w anyone (also bi) if it means peppino will be there and peppino is like FINE but ur going to get attached to the rat and thats not going to be my fault. This would be after theo starts behaving, as in, starts respecting peppinos boundaries. And he gets to hang out w him peacefully enough times to work up the courage to poke the bear (lol) and ask questions. Bc hes nosy and curious 🥺 they look like they have so much fun at the bar and w whoever they pickup like. Way more fun than he has w his stuffy rich friends. He wants to be there, he wants to have fun 🥺

Anyway he gets to be peppino and gustavos third and it leaves him like this ->💥💥💥💥💥 and gus thinks its so cute lol like this poor possum is worn the hell out 😭 needs to conk out and sleep forever. ‘ONE. That was fun. That was FUN. I want hazel to do that to me’ peppino, wide eyed but like clearly flabbergasted and smiling incredulously: ‘YEAH? REALLY ? I MEAN. DIDNT UH. DIDNT KNOW SHE HAD THAT IN HER. OR WHATEVER.’

‘TWO. Would u do this again? Like that was fun. That was FUN. I wanna do that again. I think im too busy this week and next week but like. Is that an option? I can push stuff around so it can fit in ur schedule??’ And peppino LAUGHS like full body laughing hard enough that gus comes back w a water looking so confused. Hes like oh my god. You dont have to cancel shit for a dick appointment !!! You dont!! Oh my god!!! Hes like crying laughing at the thought of theo having to cancel an appointment so he can squeeze in his threesome 😭😭😭 and theo cant help but look A LITTLE red bc okay it sounds silly BUT no one said no and he will run w that lol

Also convinces hazel to get a strap at some point. Which i think is so funny bc i have a scene in my head of noise being so smarmy w peppino and gus like ooohhh so u needed dick to be normal again and not be rude? Was that all it took? And now theo is thinking back to what he said as hes laying down in bed after getting thoroughly pegged by his gf and hes like oughhgh……i get it……

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas!

i have no idea how to start this so imma just say it

i like girls and im a girl, but ive had trouble with telling my parents even though ive known i like girls for several months now. and the reason im having trouble with telling them is cause they're the literal definition of homophobic. my brother called my sister a lesbian once because she was annoying him and when my dad found out he got slapped (my parents are kinda abusive) so im scared to tell them cause i dont think they'll accept me for who i am and they'll probably disown me or try to "fix" me even though there is nothing to be fixed

and the thing is i grew up homophobic my 10 year old self would hate me with a passion right now and that doesn't sit well with me and i dont know what to do

but i'd rather not tell them who i actually am and still have a family than tell them who i am and have no family at all.

and this whole thing has taken a huge downhill on my mental health i swear to god i feel miserable all the time and i dont know what to do i'm happy no one is noticing and im not being an inconvenience but i sometimes wish people looked closely enough to know how i actually am feeling and see if they'll help me or just get rid of me. thats pretty selfish of me to ask though.

im also gonna go to hell probably cause of my religion so thats great!

i also think im asexual but i dont really wanna get into that right now

sorry for all the spelling errors and grammar you dont have to read this if you dont want too

Hi!

First of all, I'm sending you so much love <3

Second, remember that you don't have to come out unless you want to. You shouldn't come out if it's not safe. It's okay to wait and that's nothing to feel guilty about <3

Do you have another adult in your life you could ask for help? Maybe a coach, a teacher, a family friend? Anyone that might be able to reassure you?

Also I know that religion says certain things about being queer but remember YOUR beliefs and your relationship with God (or whoever you believe in) is what's important, not someone else's interpretation of it.

I know this is all a lot to think about but please be gentle with yourself anf know that there are people out there (me) who care and who believe in you <3

Naming you blue anon

[romanarose]

Life update if anyone cares.

I only post this bc i was posting my depressing shit for months and a lot of people were reaching out in concern <3

cw sever depression, self harm, suicide, csa, SA, all the bad. but also lots of good <3

TLDR: Despite a god-awful semester, i got all a's and b's

Everyone thats been following me the last few months has seem my personal posts about how fucking awful things have been for me.

I've dealt with fact I can no longer deny that what happened to me was CSA, despite being on a milder side of things. That sparked an absolutely spiral. I didnt sleep for months which made things worse. School, I got an F on a midterm and i NEVER get F's on writing assignments.

Work had its complications and i quit and then rescinded that quit two days later. I was so constantly depressed in my dorm my roommate literally told me i needed to go to the basketball game with them bc i was sitting in a depression hovel none stop. I only went to services twice this whole time, one shabbat and once for Rosh Hoshannah.

I burned the ever living fuck out of my fingers, yall remember that one? lol.

In novemeber i had relapsed so severely on self harm i thought i had accidentally killed myself. I should've called 911. I thought I was bleeding out and/or going into shock. I then worked myself up more by going down pages of the internet about medical shook and people dying from it. that did not help my heart rate. I couldn't stand, I couldnt see straight for a while.

I could not afford an ambulance or a hospital stay as i am uninsured and only ork 25 hours a week. not a lot of money.

All this happened and I didn't miss work. This is not a brag, this is me not being able to makegood choices for myself.

Finally, thanksgiving break hit. Thank fucking god. I WANTED to use those 4 days of absolutely nothing to get to my TWO BIG RESEARCH PAPERS I HADNT STRTED YET but alas, I was SICK. I was so sick, in fact, and so hoped up on cough medicine for 3 days i was incomprehensible.

I was so physically ill, i couldnt even think about how mentally ill i was. I slept and slept and slept. And by the time sunday hit, I felt so recharged.

My failed midterm was so bad and so not me my professsor reached out to me. Im close with him (in a v appropriate way lol, hes a bruce springsteen fan too) and i felt comfortable telling him essentially that for a few months there things were severe, and I really should've gone in for a 72 hour hold multiple times and i was not safe. through a few lines of resources, I ended up back in therapy bc my school added a new therapist that is a woman (i stopped going last year bc i didnt like seeing a man)

I like my new therapist.

Anway, in about 2 weeks I wrote 2 12 page research papers, 2 book report papers, 1 science paper did 2 presentations, took 2 finals, wrote 2 more finals with essay questions, and at the end of it all, not only did I not fail any classes...

I GOT ALL A'S AND B'S! Which means my gpa is still high enough to renew my scholarship for my last year

I am so fucking proud of myself for accomplishing all this despite suffering so fucking badly. I havnt felt pain like that in years, just agony.

I had a down turn again over christmas bc my siblings were literally ass, upto and including making fun of me for not ating (i am multiple accounts of sexual trauma from several people, so im scared of dating), making fun of my eating, and my sister slapping me and my older brother hitting me. Was a bad time. But for right now, im in the place im staying for break (all january) im back at my old day care and they love me, and olive garden at this store has been going great

Im hoping next semester to be better, im hopful at least

Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has supported my writing has supported me through these times. It makes me happy that i came her to share my silly little moon knight x reader series, not really intending on writing a whole lot, but next thing i know, i have friends and a lil community. so thank you <3

[seraph-of-sizes]

AS I SAID,I AM GIVING U THIS RN

So I know am obsessed with this but I cannot find stuff like this anymore so yeah :(

So 5/6 words..

Giant venti with child human/reader

And I always ask the child thing cuz I am thing g/t things with tiny/human child is adorable….and my oc is a child…

THATS ALL TYSM FOR UR ATTENTION💕💕💕

I adore Venti so much, favorite Archon go brrrrrr. Sorry this took so long, I actually survived a tornado over the weekend, thankfully I was just visiting the area so I didn't have any damage, but a friend I knew that lived in the area did so I was helping them out. Thanks for the patience all the same <3

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“Little one you’re a bit far from home.” You giggled softly at the familiar breeze that wrapped around you. It smelled like Sunsettias, which was good, that meant your friend actually ate something today.

“I wanted to see you though!” You pouted as you looked up at the entrance to the broken temple place. “I got a vision!”

“Oh?” You clapped eagerly as the familiar teal eyes slowly blinked open in front of you. The big Bard pulled himself up a little so he could see you properly, ever so gently ruffling your hair with a single finger. “What element is it?”

“Anemo!” You exclaimed proudly. “Mama said Bardabatos gave me his blessing!”

Venti barely held back his laughter at the butchering of his Archon name. “I see, you must have impressed the Anemo God for sure.”

“I think he’s happy I made friends with you, Mister Bard!” You grinned, the wind gently playing around you, at your whim and Venti’s supervision. “Does that mean I get to see you stand up now?”

Venti bit back a groan. He had promised you that when you were older and gained a vision he would show you his entire form. He didn’t think it would come so soon, nor that you would remember the promise. 

“Alright little one, but we’ll have to be careful. If the wrong person sees me stand up they could hurt me.” He hummed softly, the noise causing you to giggle more as the air around you practically vibrated with the sound. “Come here, I need to make sure I don’t lose you now.”

You practically threw yourself into his open hand, the warmth of his hand was like the nicest bed in the world. You watched in awe from where you were laying on your back as he began to get up, your mind spinning like the windmills as he seemed to unfold. White fabric wrapped around him, but as you watched it slowly changed to green. Eventually he was sitting upright and you jumped up in indignation. 

“You’re not standing up!” You accused, pouting as he merely chuckled at you. 

“I can’t stand up here, I’ll break the rest of the Thousand Winds Temple little one.” Venti explained softly. “And I don’t want to scare anyone in Mondstadt that might see me from the city. They don’t know about me after all.”

“Oh right! Mister Bard is supposed to be a secret.” You sighed softly, playing with your vision. “I hope Bardabados keeps you safe from any mean people.”

“I’ll be fine, little one.” Venti smiled, slowly laying down again but on his back this time. “When you get much older, find the Dandelion Sea. I’ll show you my true height then, alright?”

“Okay!” Venti smiled at the eagerness in your voice. He watched as the sky began to burn with sunset and sent you off back to Mondstadt. He stared at the sky as the stars began to appear and smiled, tracing the new constellation in the sky. 

It looked amusingly similar to a wind sprite.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Ive made through chapters 4-7 today and good god, I feel like i had basically nothing to say about acotar as I was reading it but with this book theres so much to talk about for some reason, its wild. Truly, I did not realize how much I liked Feyre in the first book until I was under threat of losing her

Now, I will say that Feyre seems in-character so far, shes still the same woman but traumatized, but I am worried for her. Tamlin is a whole different story though, SJM might as well shoot him dead right in front of me for how thoroughly hes being character assassinated. Like, if Tamlin actually cares about Feyre as a person and not just in a douchy, possessive alphahole way, which he should because Tamlin was not that kind of guy previously, then he would force Feyre to train so she can defend herself if necessary, not forbid her from it. Even if he didnt want her to use her magical powers, surely he would make her practice with her knife or with a sword or even with her bow just to be safe, because hes not always gonna be there

I think his actions do continue to make sense if you look at them from his perspective, but I also maintain that he's doing a really bad job at responding to Feyre. But also, its so laughably obvious what sjm is doing by having Tamlin say shit like "you were stolen from me", shes trying to paint him as some objectifying asshole. Even Lucien calling her "Tamlin's bride" feels like its part of all this, and I know Ianthe is gonna turn out to be a traitor and a rapist at some point, so it really comes across as an attempt to villify the entire spring court for its association with Tamlin

Speaking of Lucien, I genuinely think part of the reason Feylin is doing so badly in this book is that his dynamic with Tamlin is completely different now. For some reason hes all like "oh, my High Lord" instead of "my good friend Tamlin", he suddenly cant say a word against him when he was talking to shit to him just a few months ago in-uinverse. Like, if their dynamic was the same as it was in acotar, Lucien wouldve probably been like "hey man, I know youre stressed and I get it, I know what its like to watch the love of my life get brutally murdered I dont know what its like to have her magically ressurected again but thats neither here nor there, but Feyre is clearly not happy being inside all day and you need a break, go take her out on a date in the woods, I'll stay here and take care of everything, dont even worry about it" or gotten him to comprise with Feyre or chill tf out or SOMETHING but because theres suddenly this rigid hierarchy in the spring court in order to make the night court look better

Speaking of the night court, Ive heard some stuff about it feeling very orientalist but it still managed to completely blindsight me with its badness. Feyre got fucking harem pants to wear, really? And a short-sleeved croptop, and no fucking shoes, probably because Rhys didnt want Feyre throwing shoes at him again. That was the one moment in this book that brought me genuine joy btw, I would read a thousand fanfics about her just throwing shit at him

Anyway, speaking of my guy (derogatory) Rhysand Nolastname, hes so incredibly annoying I dont even have any coherent thoughts about him right now, like, if I were to write down what I think of him I would just write "he fuckinh pisses me off" over and over again. Im actually a really big fan of edgy shadow bois, but only if theyre like, sad and angry and closed off, if theyre like Rhysand and theyre all flirty and teasing and cocky and shit, theyre just annoying and nothing else. And the romance has barely even started yet, I cant imagine how much worse the flirting is gonna get later. Not to mention all these desperate and obvious attempts by sjm to make him sympathetic and morally good now, its honestly pretty pathetic

Now Im gonna be real with you, I didnt get a lot of sleep yesterday and I can feel myself and the things Im writing getting less and less coherent, so Im just gonna hit you with the very last of my thoughts bullet point style

The fact that Amarantha apparently didnt actually go rogue and it was all part of Hybern's plan feels misogynistic ngl

Ianthe's entire character already feels so misogynistic and slutshame-y and she hasnt even assaulted anyone yet

Something about Mor bothers me, I cant quite put my finger on it but its there. I think I do like her for annoying Rhys though

God, Im gonna have so much to say about the Illyrians but for now, its awfully bold of Rhysand to be like "they wasted no time throwing themselves before her feet" when THATS WHAT HE DID

Thats it for now

[spicy-picklez]

Rainbow after a Storm (P4)

Includes:

Mention of blood, rape, and self harm.

Characters:

Larissa Weems x female reader (principal x student)

Summary:

Larissa and Y/N’s relationship continues to evolve, getting bolder with each conversation. However another accident ends up with you in a place you didn’t want to be.

Word Count:

3.2k

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As soon as you shut the door to Larissa’s office, you collapse against the corridor walls. You can feel your heart beating through your chest, hot with desire for her. You have no idea what brought on your sudden boldness, but it was worth it for the heavenly moan she let out, making your knees weak.

Regaining your shaking breath, you head back down to the library. Spotting Ajax in the same corner, you quickly slide into the seat next to him. “Y/N!” He exclaims in shock. “Shhhhh!” I say, looking over at Ms Thornhill who thankfully didn’t notice, still busy perusing books in the aisles. “Sorry, what the fuck’s going on Y/N? One minute I’m seeing you in class on Tuesday, happy as Larry. Next you’ve got a bandaged arm, haven’t been in class since Wednesday, moved out of your old dorm and what was all the ‘back’ to Principal Weems’ room about?” Ajax, puts his hand over yours comfortingly. “Y/N, I’m not mad, just really fucking concerned. Whats going on?”

“I was in Jericho on Wednesday when I got raped, when I got back to my dorm, Wednesday was out with Enid so I had the place to myself. I only wanted to hurt myself, because I blame myself for the rape happening again. But I lost control. Next thing I know I’m passing out from blood loss on the floor of my dorm, Lari- sorry, Principal Weems, found me and took me to the hospital. She didn’t feel safe letting me stay in my old dorm especially since she couldn’t ask Wednesday who’s already balancing school life, writing and spending time with Enid, to look after me. So I moved into her room.”

“Sorry rape? Again? Her room?” His head swirling with so many questions. “Yes, I got raped, I knew the guy who raped me. He was the one who raped me for the first time at 7 years old. Her room being Principal Weems’. Which is why I do keep slipping up and calling her Larissa because we agreed first name basis since I’m fully living in her room.” He nods slowly, trying to process the information.

“Righhhhht… so… My dear friend got raped in Jericho by the same person who did it to her when she was 7, self harms and nearly kills herself and now she’s living with our principal… totally normal.” You share a chuckle with him.

“Definitely not normal but yeah nice way of summing it all up.” Glancing down at your phone, 11.56am. “Shit! Larissa’s gonna kill me.” You say, aggressively standing up from your chair and bolting out of the library, finally alerting Ms Thornhill to your presence.

“MISS Y/L/N!” She yells after you as you sprint down the halls. God, why was the library so far away? It begins to get overwhelmingly hot and you rip your jacket off, not realising the zip getting caught on your arm. Wrapping it around your waist, you keep on running both to her office and out of breath. Reaching Larissa’s door, you open it, bolting through. 11.59am. “I made it.” Leaning back against the door, you grin, heavily breathing. You give her a thumbs up with your arm, a sharp electric shock pain emitting from your wounds as you do. Thats when you notice the blood stains seeping through the fabric. “Oh shit.”

Larissa is speechless, one minute mindlessly scrolling through unimportant emails, the next the door banging open to reveal you breathless and bleeding. Her mouth gapes open in shock. Though, she did have to give you props- you were back before 12. A chuckle escapes her as she stands up, walking over to you. “Good girl for making it on time… how about we go clean your arm up though because that doesn’t look particularly nice.” She says, referring to the fact your free hand is held underneath your arm, collecting drips of blood. You weren’t overly listening, you got a bit distracted by her first two words. Good girl… you can feel your legs already shaking. What you didn’t know was that she could too. She smirks, well aware you were blanking out.

“Y/N?” Shit, you just spaced out while staring at her tits.

“Hmm? Oh- yeah… not sure if blood dripping through bandages is too great.” You chuckle, as she looks at you with an unimpressed look, raising an eyebrow.

“Not funny darling. We may need to take you back to the hospital.” She says as she places her hands on your hips, guiding you through to your room to grab her keys. The hands on your hips, the darling… oh shit, you can feel yourself hot with desire as you struggle to keep upright. Leaning forward, she whispers in your ear. “Oh darling… are you that desperate for me that you’re almost falling over just from my words?”

You smirk. “Oh and the heavenly moan you let out yesterday just from me saying your name isn’t you being desperate?” She didn’t say anything. “Hmm? Larissa?” You continue, your voice deep and seductive. She stops, wrapping her arms around you, rubbing her face in the crook of your neck.

“Y/N darling…” Her voice coming out in a desperate sigh. Swallowing deeply, she guides you forwards again. “Let’s get your arm tended to at the hospital because this bleeding isn’t stopping. And then we’ll see if my self control is any better because right now the temptation to claim you as my own is growing unbearably strong.”

These words cause you to take a sharp breath. ‘Calm down Y/N.” You repeat in your head, over and over again, trying to ignore the throbbing heat from in between your legs. Getting to the door, she slips past you. “Wait here darling.” You lean against the doorframe as she grabs her purse hanging from the arm of the couch.

Walking back over to you, she takes off her jacket, handing it to you. “Put it on, it’ll stop people asking questions about your arm.” You reluctantly take it, looking up at her. “Its white, incase you haven’t noticed, I’m dripping red blood. Also don’t you think it’ll be a bit suspicious that I’m wearing your jacket?”

“I can get another jacket and I’d rather deal with that then people stopping us asking why you’re dripping blood and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that either. So put the damn thing on and lets go before you bleed to death again.” She says, helping you slip into it before opening the door, letting you walk through. Shutting it behind her, she takes off at a brisk pace, her long legs allowing her to cover ground quickly. You adjust your stride to fit hers as you hurriedly walk to the car.

As you reach her car, she walks ahead, unlocking the door and holding it open for you. As she gets in her side, you chuckle. “Larissa, you know I can open my own doors right?” She starts the car, placing her hand on your knee. “Yes but I’d rather you not. In case you’ve forgotten you are still heavily bleeding, I’d rather not have you die from blood loss in front of me again.” She gives your knee a comforting squeeze, not too sure which of us needed it more.

“Hold on, die? Again? The doctors said I just passed out?” You look at her, confused. In response, she shakes her head. “You died, Y/N. I’m terrified that that’s going to happen. I was terrified enough before… before whatever the fuck you’ve done to me. I’m not losing you Y/N.”

“Riss, I promise you won’t have to. I let myself give up the other day because I didn’t believe that anyone cared about me enough to be affected if I died. I realise now at least you do. I’m not giving up Riss. Not this time.” You place your hand over hers as she says this. “Though you can stop almost flying off the road at most corners. If you insist on going 150km/h, do you want to at least let me drive?”

She looks at you raising an eyebrow. “You’d better shut your mouth before I put you in your place.” You can’t help the smirk pulling at your lips. “And what, my dear, makes you think you could?” The car violently swerves as you say this, making you chuckle. She mutters something intelligible under her breath, readjusting her position in her seat.

A smile spreads across your face as she makes no further comment on your previous statement. Pulling into the hospital carpark, she quickly grabs her things as you both exit the car. “Y/N, stop using your arm.”

You look down, noticing a red stain slowly seeping through her jacket. A nervous laugh escapes you. “Why… is it still bleeding?”

She looks over and lets out a “fuck” under her breath, seeing the first of many drops of blood dripping from her coat. “Let’s go. Now.” She quickens her pace, entering the emergency room a good 10 metres ahead of you. By the time you catch up, the triage nurse is already looking at your arm in shock.

“Jesus fuck Riss, what did you tell her?” You awkwardly say as you’re rushed through the doors and into a room. Taking a seat on the bed, Larissa helps you get your jacket off as a doctor enters the room. “The truth. You had a few wounds restitched the other day and now you’ve bled through 3 bandages and a jacket in the past day and a half.”

“Well when you put it like that it sounds horrific.” You say, wincing as the doctor roughly unwraps the bandages. “Hey, you know you can be a bit gentler with that aye?”

“Sorry about this but you have lost an unusual amount of blood in not a lot of time and this bleeding isn’t stopping. We need to check what’s gone wrong.” The doctor says, the bandage turning a darker shade of red as he unwraps each layer.

“It sounds horrific because it is Y/N. I’m worried about you.” She says, placing her hand on yours as you watch the doctor unwrap the final layer.

“Holy shit.” The doctor curses as blood actively runs from a gash in your arm onto the floor. A gasp is heard from Larissa as she grasps your hand tighter. “That’s not a good holy shit is it?” You already know the answer, not at all surprised when the doctor shakes his head. He presses the emergency button above your bed. “Not at all.” He grabs a sheet off the bed before looking at Larissa. “I hope your prepared to be here for a while. She’s severed a vein and needs surgery. She already should’ve died from the amount she’s lost.” You feel her tense next to you.

“Riss, I told you. I’ll be ok. Like he said, I should’ve already been dead. Clearly, I have things keeping me alive now. Go back to the school and make sure Wednesday doesn’t kill herself or make sure Ms Thornhill doesn’t shove that tree branch further up her ass.” You say, giving her a comforting hand squeeze and a soft smile.

“Y/N, I told you I’m not going anywhere. The school can manage fine without me for the rest of today. I’m not leaving you.” She says as nurses come running in, hooking you up to IV lines as you’re being wheeled out of the room.

You must admit, you don’t remember much after that. Your minds a blur as you lie in the hospital bed, the beeping machines waking you from the anaesthetic. Slowly opening your eyes, you see the sleeping form of Larissa in a makeshift bed next to you. You grab your phone off of the table. 2.32am. Why the fuck is she not getting sleep back at the school? She has work in a matter of hours. Sitting up, you lean over the bed, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. The contact is enough to wake her, her eyes flying wide open as she realises its you.

“Y/N!” She breathes, standing up to come to your bedside. “Riss, no offense, but you look terrible. Go back to the school and sleep, you have work later.” You say, reaching out to hold her hand. She shakes her head. “I asked the teachers to hold everything together, I mentioned a mishap with a student meant I had to stay in the hospital overnight. It’s all sorted.” You relax a bit hearing this. “Well fuck this. Were going back anyways, I don’t wanna stay here with this stupid shit beeping and a needle in my arm. Where’s my nurse at?” You press the call button as you start pulling up the sticky tape holding your IV in. “Can you grab me a tissue please?”

She stares at you in shock, grabbing the tissue. “Y/N, what in the fuck are you thinking?” You fold the tissue up into a small square, placing it on the point where the needle enters you, sliding it out quickly and pressing the tissue down. “I’m thinking that this bed is uncomfortable, I don’t get cuddles, this beeping is pissing me off, and I hate hospital. I know you’re thinking the same and legally they can’t force me to be here so lets get the fuck outta here.”

The door opens as a nurse walks in. “Oh you’re awake, how are you feeling? Do you need any pain meds?” She asks, coming to your bedside. “Nah I’m great, I just want to go back to school and sleep so could I please have my discharge papers?” The nurse matches Larissa’s previous expression as you say this, staring at you with utter shock and disbelief. “You just got out of surgery, are you sure that’s the best idea?” She stumbles over her words as she says this.

“Well I’m feeling fine and I know I’d heal better in a comfortable bed that’s literally anywhere but here. Also you legally can not keep me here so I wish to have my discharge papers so I can head back.” Larissa’s forehead rests in her hand as she rubs her temples as she says this. Knowing she can’t stop you, she just sighs, the nurse doing the same. “Alright, I’ll go talk to your doctor.”

“Fucking hell Y/N. You’re a fucking brat sometimes you know that?” Larissa sighs, shaking her head. “Oh, I was going for all the time… sorry I’ll up it a bit.”

“Don’t do that. You already have detention with me all next week, brats deserved to be punished.” She says, a cheeky smirk pulling at her lips as her voice drips with seduction.

“I think I can handle it.” Your words earn an amused chuckle from her. “Oh my darling, I know you won’t.” Her eyes glinting with desire and lust for you. You sit up, your faces mere inches a part. “Do your worst.” You lean towards her ear as you whisper this.

It’s at this moment that the nurse returns, a handful of papers in hand. Coming over to your bed, she sighs. “Although I’m sure you won’t take much of this into consideration, the doctor highly suggests you wait at least 24 hours after your surgery till you go home but as we all know you’re not going to do that, we need you to sign these papers to say that if anything happens, it was your decision to leave.”

You nod. “Anything, just get me out of here.” She hands you the pen and papers for you to sign. Mindlessly writing in your signature, the doctor takes one sheet for her and gives you the rest of your papers. “Alright, I wish you both the best, and a speedy recovery Y/N.” Eagerly, you get out of bed, Larissa holding your injured hand so you don’t reopen the wounds like you seem to enjoy doing lately. “Thanks for your help.” Larissa smiles at her as you’re already halfway out the room. Leaving the nurse speechless in the room, you both walk down the hallway.

“You know, you shouldn’t even be coherent right now. Yet you’re literally discharging yourself from hospital, are you sure this is the best idea?” Larissa says skeptically as the hospital doors slide open, the fresh winters night air hitting your face. Both of you, now jacketless, walk closer together, her arm around your shoulders as you head towards the car. “Well from a medical point of view, probably not. But I’m not about spend all night on an uncomfortable hospital bed surrounded by beeping machines and screaming patients in agony. I’d much prefer to be asleep in a comfy bed thank you.” She lets a sigh escape her, unlocking the car as it comes into view. “What am I gonna do with you Y/N?” She opens your door as she asks this.

“Whatever you want, Larissa.” You graze your hand over her cheek as you get into the car, giving her a teasing wink. Shutting the door, she lets out a silent groan. “Don’t tempt me Y/N.” She mutters under her breath, knowing exactly what she’d do to you if you did.

Getting in the car, her hand back on your knee like it was on the drive here. She turns the heater on as she reverses out of the park. The drive back was in a comfortable silence, the two of you humming along to songs as they come on.

Pulling into the school grounds, you take one last moment of warmth as the car comes to a stop. Taking a deep breath, you both exit the car. “Agh fuck me, it’s cold.” You exclaim, smoke exiting your mouth with everything word. Larissa just nods, knowing she very gladly would fuck you, pulling you into her as you walk.

You quietly slip through the doors to the school and walk through the familiar corridors to your room, huddling into Larissa for extra warmth. The minute you enter the office, the both of you dash for the next room, needing the warmth of the fire you left going. As soon as you open the door, you can feel the change in temperature, both of your shivering dying down.

Quickly getting changed, Larissa pulls you into bed with her. Lying in each others warm embrace, you let your legs tangle themselves together. Her hand reaches up to stroke your hair as your head rests on her shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re ok darling.” She murmurs, resting her cheek on your head. You pull yourself closer to her, smiling against her soft skin. “I told you, I’ve got you to fight for. I’m not going anywhere, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“You better not.” She whispers and you hum against her skin. You let your eyes close as her warmth envelopes your body. She smiles as you relax against her skin, your snores echoing from behind her ear. “I can’t lose you Y/N.” She whispers, placing a kiss to your forehead as she pulls you closer, closing her eyes.

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