#General Waiting List
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A Comprehensive Guide to Indian Railways Waiting List Ticket Reservations and RAC
Introduction For millions of travelers in India, the Indian Railways is the lifeline that connects the length and breadth of the country. With its vast network and numerous trains running daily, it’s a common scenario that not all passengers manage to secure confirmed reservations. This is where the waiting list ticket reservation system, including RAC (Reservation Against Cancellation), comes…
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#General Waiting List#GNWL#Indian Railways#Indian Railways Waiting List Ticket Reservations and RAC#Pooled Quota Waiting List#PQWL#RAC#Remote Location Waiting List#Reservation Against Cancellation#RLGN#RLWL#Running Line Waiting List#Tatkal Waiting List#Ticket Reservations#Waiting List
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Every time we open our home to loved ones I remember that I’m very autistic and all my little routines and habits and environments get disrupted and I get more and more agitated and have to consistently remind myself louder and louder that I love them and that my suffering is temporary.
#ramblies#toilet seats being left up is a massive one for me#and a metric of how much I love and trust my friends is if I allow them to use the upstairs bathroom where I shower#because if I think you’re gonna leave a toilet seat up to spew toilet air onto my towel and toothbrush I’ll be like no#wait for the downstairs bathroom#I know that it’s unreasonable to give someone a list of house rules by room but generally o doubt it would matter because my mother in law#will still leave the toilet seat up
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Jake Bartok's artworks for Stories of Jedi and Sith
#yael is reading star wars#next book on my list now that i finished secret missions 1#can't wait it actually sounds good#star wars#jake bartok#stories of jedi and sith#star wars books#star wars art#not my art#yoda#qui-gon jinn#obi-wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#obi-wan and anakin#anakin and obi-wan#barriss offee#asajj ventress#daily asajj thought of the day#sw#maul#darth maul#darth vader#luke skywalker#palpatine#darth sidious#rey skywalker#star wars characters#star wars novels#i'm obsessed with how he draws barriss#how he draws in general i love jake bartok's art
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If I'm not posting a lot of drawings it's because I've been commissioned to work on a short illustrated book. But I'm almost done
#this is my general art tag#watercolor#this is my commission and freelance work tag#just so you wait. once I'm done with this#I'm gonna draw ALL THE FANART ON MY TO DO LIST#I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE
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Do you ship any of the turtles with anyone? or do you ship anything in rise at all?
(This ended up being a lot longer an answer than I intended hoo boy sorry about that)
Hmmm, I’m not too big a shipper tbh! Especially since I really enjoy canon interactions backing my ships, so it’s hard for me to actively like any that don’t really have that going for them. There’s plenty that I see around that I think are cute, but that’s usually the extent of my thought process for them.
For ships I more actively have, I guess I like AprilxSunita! They’re very very cute and I think they have some huge meet cute energy in their first episode together, and their chemistry is genuinely adorable (plus them being featured means more April screentime which is ALWAYS a good thing.)
I also think AprilxCasey (and when I say Casey I mean our OG girl) is really good, as I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers, and I think they have a lot in common and just bounce off each other very well (not to mention this ship in other iterations of TMNT has a loooooot going for it.)
Keeping the chain going, I think RaphxCasey (again, OG Casey) is also one with a tonnnnn of potential. They have a lot of common characteristics, and considering Raph’s whole thing with Franken-Foot, I really think there’s a lot of room there for a relationship to develop. Plus, like AprilxCasey, Raph and Casey tend to have a close relationship throughout the iterations of TMNT and it would be great to see that more with these two, even if not romantically.
Actually going back to enemies to lovers, I unironically think there’s a ton going for DonniexKendra. I know a lot of people hate this ship, but I don’t and I actually think it could very easily work whether in a love-hate way or a slow burn way. There’s a lot to like here and honestly they’re good together! Kendra is legit Donnie’s type too haha (cute, but mean.)
Lastly, SplinterxDraxum is good…when done right. I really like when people take it and don’t undermine the very real trauma that Splinter has gone through. As I’ve stated a lot, I love me some enemies to lovers, so I can see the potential here. Plus lbr Draxum was down BAD for Lou Jitsu when he first saw him haha.
I think that’s the extent to what I actively like? Everything else usually falls into “aw cute” or “ehhh not for me thanks”. And before you ask YES leosagi is cute and I’ll read fics with it if the premise is appealing, but I’m afraid I need some canon interactions to establish base character dynamics before I actively ship it alas.😔 Super cute though, no hate to it or any of the other CanonxCharacter-they’ve-never-met ships, I genuinely think people should just have fun! And for what it’s worth I really do wish we got a Usagi and Leo interaction in Rise like we have in other iterations.:(
So yeah. Overall, I have a few ships I enjoy, but I fall much more in the “prefer to keep everyone to themselves and make the focus family and friendship” category.
#non au ask#can you tell I’m an enemies to lovers person yet 💀#I had a dream once that the Fox yokai working for big mama was a teenage employee and he and Leo had a cute thing going on does that count#(the bellhop guy we see often with Big Mama)#that dream had like all of big mama’s employees basically be her adopted children#including frida#(Big Mama’s assistant)#AND Gus#(the guard dog)#so like she was literally big MAMA lol#pretty interesting story tbh too bad it ended when I woke up and I forgot a good 70% of it#lol this is also enemies to lovers I just realized-#but yeah overall I’m mostly a friendship or family platonic dynamics person#pfft of the ones I listed only AprilxSunita was not enemies to lovers wait 😭#nah but like I’m not really a big shipper tbh#I tend to fast forward through romance plots in shows that don’t focus on romance#and I tend to avoid romance genres in general most of the time#no hate at allll it’s just not typically for me y’know?#I was reallyyyyy scared to post this because people can get MEAN about ships 💀
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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Ooh you’re taking bug type requests? If no one’s asked yet would love a volcarona! :D
It’s day number nine! Ain’t that divine? Speaking of divine things, here’s the pokemon once worshipped as a deity of fire: Volcarona!
#reminder that bug-type and bug-inspired Pokémon requests are open!#next up on the requests list is scyther#and after that it an open ended request for a bug-type that I would like to redesign the shiny of :>#and after THAT is nothing! a blank list that's waiting for your ideas!#or a randomly generated bug-type. that works too hehe#volcarona#cute pokemon#pokémon illustration#pokémon drawing#pokémon art#pokemon inspired#pokemon illustration#pokemon drawing#pokemon art#bug type#bug type pokemon#bug pokemon#junebug#junebug challenge#junebug art challenge#bug art#art challenge#30 day art challenge#stuff by sofie#sofie answers asks
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HELLO MCR WORLD tbp tour is Real and Terrifying oh the jersey show support (death cab AND thursday) goes so crazy but i know it's gonna be so hard to get tix ..... what Do i do
oh this is a great day in mcr history regardless
#i am posting this in search of broke northeast mcr kinnie solidarity methinks#oh dear this is definitely getting charged whatever show i end up doing#also i just remembered my dad being bummed he couldn't make it to swarm i wonder if he will want 2 go#well i suppose regardless i should look into price info i fear that's the scariest part of all this#alright but in all seriousness MCR ALIVE AND WELL SUMMER 2025#oh god i hope we get kayf on the setlist#the other possible feasible shows for me if i don't do jersey would be toronto philly n boston#in that order probably#hmmmmm#much 2 think about#oh i cannot wait#mcr#my chemical romance#mcr posting#wavernot4love gets 2 the gig#side note after reading it through in full this support list in general is crazy “special guest alice cooper” was certainly a curveball
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people: you need to get an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist!!!
psychiatrists: *misdiagnosed me with different things like +4 times and filled me with unnecessary medicine*
#i don't remember which diagnoses they actually formally gave me and which they suspected or medicated me for without a formal label#like i don't trust 99% of all doctors now lol#my first psych appointment was when i was 14 and im 28 now#like i've been at so many clinics#with both private psychiatrists and public ones#with psychologists and therapists too#i've been hospitalised at the psych ward#and i've just been misdiagnosed like.. as in the last thing they said to me is that my formal diagnosis is wrong#but they didn't want to rediagnose me with something else#they just said im not bipolar and it's uhh dissociation from trauma#and they mentioned cptsd and that i have alters ig#and the alters are dissociation and not psychosis as they first thought oof#but like... can i trust them that im not psychotic? like i don't think that i am#but bro i have no faith in danish psychiatrists or psychologists lol#my posts#personal#also this is a vent post#i am psych critical and i think there's a lack in trauma informed psychiatrists/therapists in my country#but like im still trying to find a new psychiatrist lol it's just hard bc the waiting lists here at +2 years for just a general psychiatris#and i need someone who knows about complex childhood trauma#so idk how long i'm gonna have to wait yet
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~
#very random (not snz) haha but#does anyone else feel like their social battery fluctuates like. 0 to 100 with no middle ground or is this perhaps something wrong with me#i will go for weeks without having the social energy to talk to people i love and treasure 😭#maybe it's a lack of dopamine in general idk... would not be thrilled to add another mental illness to the list#but then i'll have a night where i am super talkative and happily reply to half the people i've been talking to#or times when i send off all my responses and sit at my laptop like when are my friends going to reply 🙂 i can't wait to talk to them 🙂#i apologize if you have personally been on the receiving end of my extreme inconsistency 😭#i have been thinking about it recently and i think that's in part the reason why i also gravitate towards long form conversations;#it feels mentally easier for me to deliver a meaningful response once in a blue moon than like sustain that level of#conversational depth on a more consistent basis? because i am inconsistent#but sometimes in the long wait between responses (which i have arguably played a large role in establishing) i feel unexpectedly social and#then feel strangely lonely 😭 (🤡)... truly i feel like i am lowkey a badly adjusted adult#this is not a catastrophizing post (though i did catastrophize slightly more over it in past weeks); just passive musings atp#i go through similar flows with artistic motivation but the highs and lows are not synced with my social energy at all#i think i am someone who likes to analyze my habits just as a whole because i really enjoy optimizing for things 😭 so this tendency in#particular really perplexes me#delete later perhaps because i know this is truly a yap post. (i apologize)#i met with a friend earlier irl and this might be the remnants of the social energy from seeing her or it might be a function of#the drink i had (strawberry matcha 🥰) if you have read this far i apologize personally
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Pokémon Fushigi no Motherfucking Dungeon !!!!
(i would put a screenshot here but my deck couldn't upload them for some reason.)
thoughts & comments on pmd in japanese below (VERY LONG)
28 new flashcards!!
uncountable new words that i did not add for various reasons!!
observations:
blessedly, the game is so far not using a lot of formal language. the personality quiz did use formal language but the actual characters themselves are speaking very casually (i’m actually really excited to see how the npcs speak in the future, i want to see how they’re characterized via their speaking styles)
one thing that really interests me in japanese is the 2nd person pronoun system and how people (or characters) choose to refer to each other and this was super fun to watch for in the game. in the first chapter, i counted 1 use of あなた (only in the “what’s your name?” menu input), several uses of きみ (most of which occurred during the personality quiz, but some of which were used by the partner pokemon prior to learning MC’s name; every time, it was written in katakana), 1 or 2 uses of おまえ (used by zubat towards the partner), and i noticed that after learning MC’s name partner exclusively refers to them by their name and does not use any kind of suffix. my guess is that this is either 1. because they are not human / this is standard practice in the pokemon world or 2. hinting at the fact that they end up having a very close relationship and that partner trusts leader immediately. i’m half expecting wigglytuff and/or chatot to be referred to as 先生 or something like that so we’ll see in chapter 2!!
speaking of expectations, i had a couple going in: 1. that there would be a lot of onomatopoeias, because they seem to have a huge amount of use in creative writing, & 2. that i would see a lot of the little stylistic bits & bobs i’m already familiar with in japanese that tell you more about a character. both of these came true! i’ve already added some new onomatos to my flashcards AND i noticed some fun things about the characters:
male partner uses ぼく (sensible - it’s either that or おれ, and he is NOT an おれ character at all) (funnily enough and perhaps somewhat embarrassingly i did name the partner in this game majima and in hindsight i’m thinking wow they are literally not like each other at all but it’s ok i’m just choosing to ignore it i cba to redo the entire save anyway. plus i customized it so he's gastly and i'm clefairy which is already the cutest duo ever and i don't want to change that especially because i also had to give them custom stats and movesets so WHATEVER majima is just going to be different in this universe and he can handle that. also the partner is written very cutely and giving him that name made him even cuter to me so its no big deal really)
speaking of cutely i literally can’t explain this because i don’t remember it being the case in the english version but genuinely there is something REALLY endearing about how the partner talks in the japanese version. i guess thats another reminder that things really do get lost in translation like im sure the TL team did the best they could but english partner and japanese partner already feel different from each other and the latter is so cute, in a way it does feel like he has a fuller range of expression here
i think male MC also uses ぼく? i swear i remember a “ぼくじしん” in there but who knows
ぼく and ほんとう (spelled ほんと by the partner but ほんとう in MC’s thoughts) were almost entirely in katakana (i think ほんとう might have been hiragana), also for some reason なぞ (“riddle” or “enigma”) was in katakana too???? just for artistic flair, maybe? おまえ was as well but that makes sense
zubat and koffing (zubat in particular) both had a rougher, more masculine speaking style, which is exactly what i expected from them. lots of sentence-ending ぜ and ぞ (male partner uses さ from time to time, but not ぜ/ぞ), and they called partner 弱虫くん which made me so mad on his behalf! so rude!!!!!!!
other thoughts:
i was worried about the lack of kanji but honestly it’s not impeding my reading at all. a lot of the words are words that don’t need kanji, and if they are kanji-based words then they’re either ones i’ve never seen before (and i can just look them up online) OR they’re ones i can recognize by their reading/the context/just generally being familiar with them after seeing them a bunch in other places. i definitely feel like my intuition for like…word boundaries and that kind of thing has already gotten stronger and will probably improve from playing this game lol
HOLY FUCK, READING PRACTICE. you would not believe the amount of reading i did. when i got to beach cave (literal very first dungeon in the game) i sat in the menu for maybe at least half an hour just straight up muddling through the 700000 words the game was putting in front of me. some of them i looked up, some i grasped from context, some i gave up on (but the last category was pretty small)
i was reading the entire menu and i got to the “hints” section and it was so long that i just gave up. a treat for future me
speaking of context, playing a game i know by heart was ABSOLUTELY the right decision. i could largely figure out what moves my boys have without knowing what the names of the moves meant by reading the descriptions and going “hmm…ghost…physical…low power…this is astonish!!!!!” or “normal…no damage…always lands…YAWN!!!” etc.
i also think i’m playing this at the right stage of my learning. just beginner enough to heavily benefit from the mass exposure/immersion aspect of it, but learnéd enough to recognize a great deal of what’s put in front of me, and already knowing the game really well makes it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (X1000000000) much easier to bridge the gap between what i do and don’t know. i got a tiny bit mentally exhausted from all the reading lol but it was soooooo worth it, most of my studying right now comes in the form of kanji/vocab + grammar/structure + listening to music so i’ve been sorely lacking in the “just straight up reading things normally” department and this game really fixes that up for me :)
keeping it real my speaking is definitely shit because i never practice (unless you count singing…) but i found myself reading out loud as i played to help figure things out and i do feel like i improved a tiny bit by the end. the partner pokemon in particular was really fun to read for because they gave him a fairly emotional/heart-on-his-sleeve speaking style (not dissimilar to the english version, but it feels much stronger here as previously noted) so i got to have fun reading his lines :P i definitely felt like i was hitting the consonants much better and keeping everything flowing well
im trying to upload screenshots but it wont work, so for personal recordkeeping: SENTENCES THAT I READ AND UNDERSTOOD ALL BY MYSELF AND AM REALLY PROUD OF
いちどきめたことはさいごまでやりとおす? roughly = “once you’ve decided to do something, do you see it through to the end/do you stick with it?” (lit. “one time decided thing TOPIC end until carry through?”)
「はどう」とは きみのからだがはっするみえないエネルギーのことだ roughly = “[aura] is the energy your body gives off” (lit. “[wave motion] QUOTE TOPIC you POSS body SUBJ emit energy NOM thing is”)
オレンのもをたベると HPがかいふくするぞ!Xボタンでメニューをひらき 「どうぐ」コマンドからたべてみよう! roughly = “if you eat an oran berry, your HP will restore! try eating it using the ‘item’ command after opening the menu with the X button!” (lit. “oren NOM/CLASS fruit OBJ eat.NP IF ‘HP’ SBJ restore do EMPHATIC! ‘X’ button MEANS menu OBJ open(NOUN) [tool] command from eat-and-see-VOL!”)
why is the tutorial using ぞ???
is it because i picked boy during the quiz? is it trying to be manly with me??? am i reading too deeply into this? (probably)
i was surprised to see 道具 here because i just recently learned it and i was like “tool? there’s no tools in this game…” but i could tell from its menu position that it was item/inventory so i was like, huh, interesting use of the word…
この かけらが はまる ばしょを いつか はっけんしたい! roughly = “someday, i want to discover the place that this fragment fits into!” (lit. “this fragment SBJ fit place OBJ someday discovery do-want!”)
i did have to look up はまる but i knew all the other words on my own!!!!
it was so fun seeing words i recognized especially higher level (higher relative to where i am, at least, i.e. more recently learned) kanji words like 場所 & 発見。noticing them in kana felt kind of like seeing your friend at a costume party and knowing it’s them without them telling you or something lol and i always get so excited seeing vocab words i know in the wild!! it feels great to recognize them naturally like that :)
#mine#in conclusion: fun!!!!! i'll keep going bc i really enjoy it so far#im kinda looking forward to getting to the part where i can grind for a bit because oooooomg so much reading. sometimes you just want to#chill. but anyway yeah#ohhhh you know whats gonna be fun....grovyle and dusknoir...i CANNOT wait to see how they talk in japanese#in general and how they talk to/about each other...ohohohoho#ooooh and dialga...in english all of the big legendaries like him and groudon and palkia etc. talk in all caps#but japanese has no capital letters...i wonder how they stylize legendary speech? maybe with katakana or something?#the more i think about what's coming the more excited i get lol this is so fun#also re: custom movesets i did verify all the moves before i changed anything so i know the moves that theyll both learn are good#but i didnt keep a list anywhere so its going to be a surprise to me what i get lol i get a little mini challenge#in the form of having to read the bio for a new move and figure out what it is and THEN decide what to do with it#and i had to customize them bc starters in this game have different stats and movesets than normal pokemon#so clefairy and gastly arent built to be starters and i had to change that#plus their evos. anyway yeah super cute despite the name dissonance honestly both of their sprites are adorable#pokemon fushigi no diary
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секр��тный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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time's prophecy to 13 is like whatever, i generally dont really think abt it bc when i do it just feels a little like a contrivance to cut thasmin short, or more specifically to give 13 a reason to formulate why thasmin is getting cut short ie it just feels to me mainly as an in-universe way to say "hey so like we've got 3 episodes left theres not much we can do here"
but the other day i Was thinking abt it, or like it crossed my mind, that scene, that warning, that does little except verbalise to 13, with her own mouth, You Have No More Time
and i was like, thats actually like exactly what trauma does right? like that phenomenon where you are just convinced for no real concrete reason that youre dying within the next 1-5 years? i think i read that thats a ptsd thing once but idk. but you know the feeling, like, where youre stuck in the past and the future refuses to unfold? like it's just stuck. time is not moving forward. like there's a wall right in front of you and youre just like, im gonna walk into the wall. and maybe you feel like the wall is 1 year away or 5 but regardless, that 1 or 5 year can pass but the wall doesnt move. you know what i mean? like youre convinced you wont see your 20th birthday but youre actually already 25. just doesnt sink in.
i think thats what time's warning to 13 is. just the articulation of her own belief that shes running out of time. or that it had already run out before she even started. she starts her relationship with her companions with the assumption that it's temporary, even after they board for real: "you wont come back the same"
and if you look at it that way i think it's easier to deal with the jump from 13 to 14 or 15. not for yaz, obviously, shes still gonna be super upset abt it. but if 13 really genuinely entirely can not imagine the future that 14 has, can not imagine a future at all, like, it makes sense.
maybe she felt like she was dying but instead of the sentiment 10 expressed "some new man goes sauntering away and i am dead" she just stopped after the first sentence like "everything i am dies." stop. theres no After. theres nothing to imagine. theres no keeping yaz with her, theres no going back for her either. theres no continuation. theres no next. everything i am dies. and the world stops.
nightvale voice: death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.
but it's doctor who. she is the universe. what happens after the heat death of the universe? are you imagining settling down with a family who loves you? are you imagining heaven? after the heat death of the universe? the doctor doesnt believe in god.
#anyway#just making explanations for myself for things i dont like that much#what else is blogging for#but writing this fic abt 13s.......deathwish#or the general deathwish air on board her tardis#it's not just her#but the way she specifically. as im writing her. is so selfdestructive#running toward death in an almost counterphobic sort of way#a 'get it over with'#like being on the scaffold with the noose around your neck and waiting for them to pull the lever that knocks the floor out#like it's...seconds. minutes. idk how long executions last but it's too long. it's always gonna be too long to wait#and then theres this sweet naive girl who doesnt understand your circumstances bc youve never explained them bc you dont want her to#understand probably. you just kinda want her to be there so you can see her face as the last thing and then tell her to turn around#mostly you want that. to tell a sweet naive girl to turn around and save herself. from what you are. from becoming you.#but she wants to save you. shes convinced she can save you. but you dont want her to save you bc that means becoming you. thats what you do#and youre like yasmin can you not see the noose. but she didnt hear them list the crimes youve been convicted of. so no. she doesnt see.#anyway. i think thats whats going on with 13. in the last months.#to be entirely normal abt it
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more potential philslion proof: on january 18, 2011 philslion tweeted lyrics to ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldntve) which the lead singer has confirmed he wrote about another man that he used to live with. combined with the lions pride tweet, this seems to suggest that whoever was running the account was closeted and struggling which we know dan was at the time :(
OMG 😭😭😭 yet another tweet i've seen a bunch and didn't think to research further!! i knew it was a song lyric but i didn't include it in anything bc i thought it was too generic, but with the added info that IT'S ABOUT A MAN FALLING IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER MAN?? thank u sm for sending this 🙏🏻😭
#also wait okay philslion also tweeted the lyrics to she's leaving home by the beatles (slay) which again i felt was too generic to include#at first but lowkey.... maybe it's not 🤔#do not have the time to do a deep dive into this rn but maybe i'll make a list of every song lion has tweeted abt (bc there's a lot lol)#philslion#phan#d&p#ask#fuckinmelodrama
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back in septmeber i got some kind of attack in the middle of lab so they sent me to the ER because they didn't want to take chances with me dying from chemicals but still made me pay the hospital fees myself. then i still had to go back the next week to finish my lab. then bad news happened last week and my. lab report is so fucking late. all these penalties. it will be worth fucking nothing. what did i go to the ER for they should have just let me die there #tbh
#i assumed it was some panic attack not sure all i knew was my heart was beating fast even though my emotions were calm#and i was red like a lobster#oh yeah all that time and waiting to go to the ER doctor and showing him list of chemicals i worked with#and paying medical fees#just for them to go “bro i have no fucking clue what happened”#easilyy top 5 bruh moments this year#i really did not want to go to the ER like i thought seeing the schools general practitioner was enough#but the lab tech was so kind to accompany me everywhere#and she was the one who insisted i go to the ER even when i was like “ehhhh its probably fine”#and i am weak to older women what can i say#....my life was a series of unfortunate events unfolding into this utterly unsatisfying conclusion#should have had an anime arc like...No...I cant let her down...I cant let my trip to the hospitals go to waste...i will..finish this...!#but nah fate said “have a reason to spiral back into depression during hell week. and its something you cant even talk about.”#..i sound like im complaining but i just like talking about my life like comedy with plot points and foreshadowing etc#anyway i gotta write 2 reports tonight#then i can finally drink that vodka i bought last week#or maybe i should write my reports drunk..yeah!#unironically might be a good idea considering how much i overthink these things to the point of executive dysfunction
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i hate that i get penalized at work for doing too much work
#its technically a software error cause they want us to have so much money on the record#and the dollar amount correlates directly with the frames on my list that i need to make#so dollar goes down for every frame i put together#this incentivizes getting sales so you are trapped in the cycle of capitalism#generally speaking i think framing costs are high but in a semi-understandable way when youre doing it#materials are made for longevity and have coatings and shit to seal up your art for actual decades to protect it#it Should be a one time purchase when its done properly and theres lil maintenance stuff you can have done#but generally speaking it should last as long as you dont let the wood rot#i do maintenance on shit thats like 200 years old#take it apart clean the glass check the adhesive seal it back up with new paper#thats like $10#doing a new frame is like $80-a billion dollars and usually its scaled on the size of the art#idk im bored rn i did all my tasks and now im waiting for the imposter to kill me
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