#Disabled parent of disabled child problems...

[stevishabitat]

[zoe-oneesama]

“Therapy is for broken people, and our Adrien is PERFECT!” Aside from the inherent nastiness and problems of BOTH of the independent clauses in that sentence, considering how much Emilie is concerned with her public image as well as her image among the people in her Inner Circle, I wonder how it’ll affect her as she continues to drop little nuggets like that when she starts being seen as (and ESPECIALLY treated as) if not a Boy Mom or an Ableist Mom, at the very least an Innocently Insensitive Mom minus the coddling attitude someone like her would hope “naturally” comes with that title.

I mean, if OG, Canon Emilie went so far as to give herself Magic Wasting Disease by using a broken Miraculous to invent the Perfect™️ Obedient Prodigy Child that Literally Cannot Disobey and Has No "Flaws" instead of, you know...adoption...

I definitely see her as the kind of person who can't handle a "broken" child that might, idk, need some help?

[ipushedthewrongbutton]

uuuuh yeah, i’m a little sick of romance being treated as the only type of love that matters, so yeah, get headcanoned as aro/ace

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

If your treatment of people is a direct reflection of how much you like and understand their behavior/choices, DO NOT HAVE KIDS. yes, I am so serious

[warupiposaru]

Something really funny that's occurred to me is the way Joe talks about Maccie is like she's some catastrophic event that happened to their family "I can't believe she's been here that long." / "Everything's been different since she was born" / "Everything changed." / "She changed everything."

And it's just rlly funny to me. I want to up the dramaticness of his words at some point. And anyway, he's talking to the Samurai/Ronin for the first time and I'm wondering the impression he's getting lmao

Joe is certainly expressive to me, but only when he's given the chance. And I think w Ronin, he just started letting a lot of stuff out bc thus guy is gonna go on his way anyways.. but then he's like wait!!! Actually let me go?? For a little? (Platonic yearning so bad)

Ronin like 》^. "I suppose.. Alright, curious karate man, I'll accompany you a little longer."

Or something I'm messing around UGH

[interruptingkau]

Radio show I listen to on my work commute had such horrendous takes on men taking parental leave that I actually texted them about it

[waywardtyrantpirate]

🍓🥞My Blog !!!🍓🥞

Go check out my blog!!! I made a blog bc I'm bored an incase something happens to this one. I'm going to be blogging about my dangerous life an my illnesses/injuries. I am safe at the moment but I have people who tried to 𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒍 me an 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒆. So I've made this blog to cope an to keep an eye on my safety.

General triggerwarnings apply as I will be talking about people trying to kill me, child abuse (that I experienced), somethings involving sa an sexual harrasment. But the truth needs to get out there...one way or another.

Pls take a look an I'll keep yall updated. But if youre squeamish or dont wanna read that stuff pls dont read it, take care of your mental health. I wont be offended or mad.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ🍓🥞🍰✨🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

vetted fundraisers from today. please continue to give support to families like these in whatever capacities you can, they are suffering such unfathomable deprivation and grief.

july 18th:

Safaa, her husband, their baby son Amir, and Safaa's parents, who both urgently need medical treatment ($1,086/$75,000) - @safaamiroo, verified by @/90-ghost

Amira Alanqar, her two siblings, and their mother, who needs treatment for diabetes (Amira is solely responsible for her family after the loss of their father) (€14,484/€20,000) - @amira-world, verified by @/nabulsi

Ashraf Alanqar, his wife Widad Issa, and their little son Bakr (€8,974/€30,000) - @ashraf-family, verified by @/90-ghost

Wafaa Alnhal's family of 15, including four young children and a newborn (the family has already lost multiple members, including Wafaa's sister and teenage niece) (€34,690/€50,000) - @wafa-nahll, #171 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi's spreadsheet

Widow Hadeel Abu Jiab and her family of 12, including three young children (Najwa who was orphaned, Samira who needs treatment for vision problems, and Almas who is in severe shock) and Hadeel's injured mother and brother (€2,814/€20,000) - @palestinianhadeel, verified by @/90-ghost

Salahaldin Hor, his wife Sundus, and their three young daughters, two of whom have been injured (€1,946/€40,000) - @salahaldinhor, verified by @/90-ghost

Islam Al-Najjar and his family (€15/€30,000) - @islamgazaaccount2, verified by @/90-ghost

The Ayyad family of eight, including a sick child who needs treatment to save her sight (CHF3,753/CHF60,000) - @basel-1995, @amanyayyad, #214 on @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein's spreadsheet

Mohammed Atallah (needs urgent surgery after being shot with an explosive bullet) and his family of 11, including a toddler and a newborn (€3,205/€82,000) - @mohammed-atallah, verified by @/90-ghost

Ola Ahel, her four siblings, and their parents ($7,308/$20,000) - @olagaza, #205 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi's spreadsheet

Yousef, a toddler who needs lifesaving treatment for a severe blood disease, and his parents (€4,080/€25,000) - @dima96yousef, verified by @/90-ghost

Nour Ashour, her husband, and their two little children, including Muhammad, who needs continuous treatment for disabilities relating to birth asphyxia (£55/£80,000) - @nourashour33, verified by @/90-ghost

Hala Daoud (needs vital treatment for multiple sclerosis) and her three children (€180/€17,000) - verified by @/frostedforestfairy (contact for more details)

Helping Tawfik Satoom continue his education ($902/$20,000) - @tawfiksatooom, #238 on the operation olive branch spreadsheet

Ahmed Alanqar, his wife Dina, and their four young children, one a newborn (€31,345/€35,000) - @ahmedabuyamin, #174 on @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein's spreadsheet

Helping Siraj Abudayeh, his wife, and their three young children rebuild their treasured home ($6,972 CAD/$82,000 CAD) - @siraj2024, #219 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi's spreadsheet

Shimaa, her husband Abdel, and their little daughter Juri (€386/€50,000) - @shimaashaban22, @abdelmutei, verified by @/90-ghost

5-year-old Nour, her three sisters (all suffering from malnutrition), their parents, and their grandmother ($373/$25,000) - @nourbader2019, verified by @/90-ghost

not yet vetted:

Salem Anqar, his wife Hadeel, their two little children, Salim's five siblings (three of whom are children), and their chronically ill parents (kr1,022 SEK/kr990,000) - @salemanqar

Mohammed Ayyad and his family of seven, five of whom are children (Mohammed lost his mother when she was not able to evacuate for medical care) (€11,473/€35,000) - @mohammedayyad

The Eleyan family of 18, including eight children, one a newborn (€3,185/€50,000)

Doctor Mohammed Shurrab, his wife, their child, and ten extended family members (€435/€100,000) - @684599

a small amount of your time and effort can have an immeasurable impact. please don't scroll past without engaging in some way, it really makes a difference

[cannabiscomrade]

I wasn't going to derail the disability pride month post for people with peanut allergies but in relation to that topic

I have never seen another allergy that has been so viscerally hated and mocked by people working in education like nut allergies. I've seen fellow teachers cringe that their classroom was the "nut free" classroom that year. Support staff that are trained and willfully don't follow cross contamination protocol in the lunchroom because it's too "tedious" or "time-consuming". Full preschools + childcare centers that refuse to accommodate nut allergies. Schools where the only free lunch is a PB&J. Before/after school programs and summer programs whose food curriculum has nuts and doesn't provide an alternative activity.

Allergy discrimination is so so insidious and prevalent. It's happening behind their back and it is everything from the exposure joke to possibly causing someone to go into anaphylaxis from willful ignorance.

Also other parents in the classroom are guilty too. The "not my child not my problem" brain rot means that those lunchboxes are like bombs for airborne exposure allergies

[sootonthecarpet]

(having a regular one) was growing up low key expecting uour mom to murder/suicide you in the van in the river, (and for nobody to blame her for it,) like, a normal part of growing up with profound neurological problems in the 2000s (a time of escalating news coverage of this kind of killing) or what?

[a-shade-of-blue]

Masterlist of Vetted Fundraisers from the Palestinians who directly contacted me (18-26 December)

26 December

Wael Jamal Alshawish (@aya-1993, @wael-86): Wael and Aya have 3 children: Rahaf, Leen, and Aseel. They wish to evacuate from Gaza. (https://gofund.me/e3e253e3) (#372 on @/gazavetters vetted list) (€18 raised of €70K goal)

Israa Alwan, Shadi Alwan (@esraa12gaza, @esraaolwan): Shadi has 5 children: Wedad, Shukri, Saja, Farah, and little baby Mira. Shadi also has 2 sisters: Noor and Israa. Israa wishes to become a teacher and has a degree in Early Childhood Education. Shadi is also caring for his aging mother and his father has been absent for years. (https://gofund.me/775caf47) (shared by @/90-ghost)

Abdulrahman (@abadborhm): Abdulrahman’s family consists of 6 members: his parents, and his 4 siblings. (https://gofund.me/249db7e8) (#359 on @/gazavetters vetted list) (€150 raised of €25K target)

Muhammad Ramadan (@moh12ram, @mohammadram): Muhammad is 24 years old and he studied engineering. He is married and has a 1-year-old daughter. He also has 9 sisters. He suffers problems on his cornea and has had various operations on both his eyes. (https://gofund.me/14bf968b) (#313 on @/gazavetters vetted list) (€614 raised of €30K goal)

23-24 December

Walaa Moneer/ Walaa Mounir (@walaa95famely): Walaa (28) is from northern Gaza. She is married and have 3 children: Yamen (10), Kinan (8), Alma (3). (https://gofund.me/ab22ef91) (vetted by @/90-ghost) (€97 raised of €25K goal)

Nadaa Alrai (@omzaki): Nadaa and her husband Adnan have 2 children: Tulin (8) and Zaki (7). Nadaa suffers from severe migrain while Adnan suffers from high blood pressure. They have been displaced and the children are cold and hungry. (https://gofund.me/69b10735) (#376 on @/gazavetters vetted list, shared by 90-ghost) (€295 raised of €30K goal, fundraising since September)

Yousef Osama (@yousefosama2): Yousef is only 14 years old and he is from a family of 8. He is from Gaza City but he and his family have been displaced and are now living in a makeshift shelter. (https://gofund.me/df5ee605) (#375 on @/gazavetters vetted list) (€55 raised of €3K target)

22 December  

Haifa homeid (@haifa823): Haifa has 3 children: Youssef (8), Jourie (6) and Joan (6). Their house has been bombed and they are now displaced. (https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-haifa-and-her-children-rebuild-their-lives) (#356 on @/gazavetters vetted list)

Mohammed Zatr, Mahmoud Zatr (@mohammedzatr): Mohammed has been seriously injured from an airstrike, and his wife is also pregnant and worried for their unborn child. His brother Mahmoud’s wife gave birth to their first child outside of Gaza but Mahmoud has not even seen his first child because he is trapped in Gaza. His little brother Azzouz is seriously injured. Their financial situation is also dire and they are now in debt. (https://gofund.me/995e1b2a) (promoted by nabulsi, vetted and promoted by @/gaza-evacuation-funds)

Hadeel, Ali (@hadeelali111): Hadeel’s husband Ali has been injured in the foot. They have 2 children: Ayman and Yasser who are suffering from asthma and malnutrition. They are from northern Gaza but are now displaced and living in a tent. (https://gofund.me/c9ea31b8) (#216 on @/gazavetters vetted list)

Majd Sweedan (@majdd-99sn): Majd is 25 years old. He has a motor disability. He has lost a huge part of his family and also his house. (https://gofund.me/c6baa568) (#364 on @/gazavetters vetted list) (€35 raised of €50K goal)

Ibrahim Alhabil (@hema-1999): Ibrahim is from a family of 7. He is 25 years old and was studying accounting. He has 4 siblings: Mohammed (5), Mustafa (4), Rimas (14) and Lana (9).  (https://gofund.me/6348dd92) (#331 on @/gazavetters vetted list)

Mohammed Nasseer (mohamednaser1995, @mohhnaser): Mohammed is 28 years old. He has a baby daughter who was born in the middle of this war. (https://gofund.me/40f22662) (shared by 90-ghost)

20 December

Ibrahim Alhabil (@ibrahimfamilys-1, @ibrahimfamily-1): Ibrahim is 27 years old and is an engineering student. Their house was bombed and 3 of his relatives were killed in that bombing. Ibrahim and his family of 12 is currently displaced in Deir al-Balah. His father suffers from severe back problems, while his mother needs surgery for kidney stones. (https://gofund.me/2080b8d1) (shared by @/90-ghost)

19 December

Hoda, Sobhi (@huda123sblog): Hoda is 20 years old and her husband Sobhi is 24 years old. They live with Sobhi’s family, which consists of 14 people. Their house has been bombed. They are now eating animal food because of the lack of food. Hoda couldn’t finish her studies because of a lack of money. She wishes to have children. (https://gofund.me/d98cb739) (#314 on @/gazavetters vetted list) (€100 raised of €50K goal)

Mohamed Fayez, Ruba Fayez (@rubafayez, @mohamedfd): Mohamed’s family consists of his parents and hsi siblings. His father was severely injured in a bombing. (https://gofund.me/0f201517) (shared by 90-ghost) ($190 USD raised of $40K goal, fundraising since September)

Hamdi Ali (@abuyasin156): Hamdi and his wife have 4 children: Malak (20), Dareen (19), Youseef (15), and Yasin (7). Their house has been completely destroyed. They’ve managed to evacuate to Egypt but they are now allowed to work there. (https://gofund.me/1de8737b) (Vetted by association! Hamdi is a cousin of @/mohammedyasers (shared by 90-ghost))

Hadeel (@palestinianhadeel1, @hadeelfamyli): Hadeel 27 years old and she had a skin care company. She has lost her father, her husband, and her brother in this genocide. Her daughter Almas witnessed her father’s death and is severly traumatized. Hadeel also gave birth to a baby boy in November 2024. She is also taking care of 2 nieces, Samira and Najwa, who have been orphaned. Najwa and her sister Kanaria have recently been killed. (https://chuffed.org/project/113386-help-hadeels-family) (#5 on @/gaza-evacuation-funds list here, shared by 90-ghost)

18 Decembeer

Abeer Salem (@abeersalem): Abeer is 55 years old and have a daughter named Judy. They are from Gaza City but they have lost their home and they are now displaced in Al-Nuseirat. (https://gofund.me/8579cbff) (Vetted by association! Abeer Salem is the cousin of  Noha Ayyad @/helpnohafamilygaza (#78 on the Operation Olive Branch verified fundraiser list, shared by 90-ghost). Abeer is also a cousin of @/mohammedyasers (shared by 90-ghost)) (£501 raised of £40K goal)

Nour Al Madhoun, Momen Al Madhoun (@momenalmadhoun3, @nourfamily3, @momenalmadhoun1): Nour (30) and Momen (35) have 2 children: Ezzdeen (8) and Ameer (6). The Isralie forces only gave them 5 minutes to evacuate their home. They are from Northern Gaza but are now displaced in Deir el-Balah. (https://gofund.me/416f9e71) (#291 on @/gazavetters vetted list) (€2,414 raised of €50K target, fundraising since April)

Mariam Ab Yossef (@fuzzysandwichchaos): Mariam has 7 children. Her child Mahmoud suffers from brain damage, congenital malformations of the urinary system and a blockage in the urethra. (https://gofund.me/e89a8593) (Vetted by association! This campaign has been vouched for by Sahar (@/a-ss-123, @/soperfectionbasement, @/strangekittengalaxy) (vetted by association, also see post here)) (£10 raised of £50K target)

Mohammed, Faisal (@babygentlemenmusic): Faisal’s brother Mohammed has a water truck and wants to help provide clean water and other basic necessities for the people around him. He is fundraising to keep the water truck operating and to keep it filled. (https://chuffed.org/project/117914-food-and-clean-water-for-displaced-people-in-central-gaza) (Vetted by association! This campaign has been vouched for by Sahar (@/a-ss-123, @/soperfectionbasement, @/strangekittengalaxy) (vetted by association, also see post here)) ($201 Raised of $200,000)

Click here for my Google Doc with my complete masterlist of all the Palestinian gfm asks I've received

Info on how gfm campaigns vetted:  See here, here, here and here.

See post here for other verified ways to send aid to Gaza.

Daily Clicks on Arab.org. Every click made is registered in their system and generates donation from sponsors/advertisers.

[astrobiscuits]

Chiron persona chart obs

WARNING: BRIEF MENTIONS OF ED, S*ICIDE, S*XUAL AB*SE. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND NOT TO READ THIS POST IF YOU'RE VERY SENSITIVE thank you

Stelliums show us where our main trauma or wound lies:

Stellium in Aries/1st house - body image issues/body dysmorphia, hating ones face and wanting to change it at all cost, being so focused on ones trauma that it results in excessive independence

Stellium in Taurus/2nd house - self worth issues, hating ones voice and/or being made fun of for how ones voice sounds, excessive shopping due to fear of having nothing, having stash of cash hidden everywhere in the house due to being scared of getting robbed

Stellium in Gemini/3rd house - being too scared to speak to others, hating the way you express yourself, being an overachiever at school due to fear of being seen as "stupid", fear of being run over by a bicycle or a car

Stellium in Cancer/4rd house - family problems (divorced parents, one of the parents is out of the picture for whatever reason, family members dealing with addictions, family abuse), issues when it comes to comforting yourself in times of crisis, HEAVY abandonment issues

Stellium in Leo/5th house - had to grow up too fast instead of enjoying childhood, fear of not being "the perfect parent", fear of not making it in the industry (for those pursing creative careers or following their passions), issues regarding getting pregnant and delivering a child, fear of being burned by the sun or by fire

Stellium in Virog/6th house - fear of contacting an incurable disease, issues regarding eating disorders, trauma regarding messy spaces, which results in OCD

Stellium in Libra/7th house - issues caused by getting cheated in a relationship, fear of trusting someone in a one-on-one connection, trauma resulted from business affairs which have gone wrong

Stellium in Scoprio/8th house - fear of death, issues caused by sexual trauma/sexual abuse, grooming, stalking, human trafficking, mysterious disappearances, divorce, taxes, loans

Stellium in Sagittarius/9th house - fear of not being able to experience everything one has always wanted, issues caused by not living to ones full potential, fear of travelling too far away, religious trauma

Stellium in Capricorn/10th house - fear of being forgotten and not standing out, issues regarding not looking & acting in a professional manner when needed, fear of not being promoted in ones career, the trauma is very visible to the public

Stellium in Aquarius/11th house - fear of not fitting in a crowd or a friend group, issues regarding being part of LGBTQ+ or a subculture often dismissed (POC, people with disabilities, orphanage kids, emos), trauma related to the country's government and (possible) implications in war, fear of dying in a natural disaster (earthquake, tsunami, volcano), fear of dying by electrocution or in an airplane crash

Stellium in Pisces/12th house - fear of being admitted to a prison, asylum or nursing home, having frequent thoughts of unaliving onself, fear of drowning, fear of what happens after death, fear of being misunderstood or made fun of for hearing voices and seeing things which aren't real

Moon shows us how we process our trauma and wounds:

Moon in Aries/1st house : screams, throws things around (maybe also breaks a few things), if anyone reminds them of their wounds/traumas, they'd literally break that person's neck; they might recklessly drive, play with fire or drink excessively out of anger

Moon in Taurus/2nd house : resorts to retail therapy, cooks their favourite meals, gets some comfy pillow and blankets and watches their favourite show; they're slow to heal their wounds, but they manage to do so

Moon in Gemini/3rd house : overanalyzes what happened to the point that they've thought of every scenario possible, (if they have more than one wound/trauma) switches between wounds, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with siblings and acquaintances

Moon in Cancer/4th house : cries 24/7, acts distant with people who are not close to them and defensive with those who want to talk about their feelings; they tend to have very, very unhealthy coping mechanisms (aka they resort to self-harm)

Moon in Leo/5th house : transforms their pain & wounds into a form of art - whether it's through dancing, painting, singing, acting, photography, videography; sometimes they might not recognize how much their past affects them, especially around others, they boast about how "it wasn't that bad" even though they're clearly affected by what happened

Moon in Virgo/6th house : focuses on the details, what they could have done better and what they didn't, easily becomes anxious, cleaning the house becomes a form of therapy for them; in case of physical wounds, they document themselves very well (sometimes they are even able to heal themselves, since this Moon sign in Chiron persona chart has a sort of 6th sense about medicinal procedures)

Moon in Libra/7th house : their s/o knows every pain, wound and traumas they've ever experienced, analyzes the past in a logical manner and tries to find a healthy coping mechanism, without hurting anyone else in the process; listens to sad, romantic songs

Moon in Scorpio/8th house : if someone else is guilty for their wounds/traumas, they're going to plot revenge and execute their plan in a discreet manner; often jealous, they might pursue fwb connections to stop thinking about their pain; the ones who manage to deal with their past in a healthy manner become a completely different person in the process

Moon in Sagittarius/9th house : dealing with their wounds/traumas opens a new world for them, they end up adopting a new set of beliefs as a coping mechanism, travelling to another country to get some space from their surroundings helps them heal

Moon in Capricorn/10th house : replays the past over and over again, they numb their emotions, if asked about their wounds/traumas, they answer very stoic; they also tend to be more realistic and don't like to tell themselves lies or hear lies about their trauma

Moon in Aquarius/11th house : resorts to technology to cope with the pain, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with their friends or on social media, but not with family; they might try some unusual coping mechanisms

Moon in Pisces/12th house : they isolate themselves from everyone in order to cope with the pain, meditation and breathing techniques are their to-go methods of calming their anxiety down; if they don't manage to cope in a healthy way, they dissociate and go through a depersonalization process or an addiction takes over them (drinking, smoking, they overuse medication etc.)

Jupiter shows us where we're blessed, but fail to see. The stronger the modality, the more obvious it is to other people.

♃ Jupiter in fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and/or fixed houses (2nd house, 5th house, 8th house, 11th house) are extremely blessed and everyone is able to notice, but the native.

♃ Jupiter in cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) and/or cardinal houses (1st house, 4th house, 7th house, 11th house) are blessed, but only a specific category of people notice it.

♃ Jupiter in mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) and/or mutable houses (3rd house, 6th house, 9th house, 12th house) are still blessed, but the effect is hardly noticeable to anyone.

Those with:

Grand Trine/Kite/Yod (Finger of God)

Sun, Jupiter, North Node and ruler of the chart conjuncting MC and/or placed in 10th/11th house (minimum 2 placements)

Stellium in 10th house/11th house

-> have got amazing healing abilites and often end up pursuing careers where they help & heal society (usually as doctors, therapists, spiritual advisors, social workers, advocates who actually make a difference, etc.) They usually become famous for their healing gifts.

Other small considerations:

Ascendant shows us how we are perceived at first glance when we are dealing with pain

IC shows us how we are perceived by our family (or in a safe, secluded place) when we are dealing with pain

DSC shows us how we are perceived by our partner or best friend when we are dealing with pain

MC shows us how we are perceived in public (or in our career) when we are dealing with pain

North Node shows us our salvation (where we need to focus on in order to heal)

🕊 Sun trine Moon & Sun sextile Moon individuals have an easier time healing their traumas and wounds

🕊 Sun opposite Saturn & Sun square Saturn individuals feel the need to rebel from their father/grandparents, norms that have been imposed on them, old customs & traditions, institutions/government, in order to heal themselves

[botanical-garden-system]

Some of the people I have seen say they have non-disordered plurality have a lot of extreme dissociative symptoms from what they post. System conflicts, huge memory gaps, inability to control switches, extreme depersonalization/derealization symptoms.

This is not to deny someone’s experience, but more of a gentle reminder that if your experiences with plurality causes genuine distress? You may want to learn more about how dissociative disorders impact functions.

I don’t really understand any labels outside of traumagenic and maybe endogenic. I can’t even begin to really wrap my head around plurality not causing dissociation—it’s just not my experience at all. It’s a big reason why I decline arguing in any debates, but I have a pretty good idea of how my DID has impacted me.

I will feel like shit and not understand why because my emotions are highly fragmented. There could be something wrong, I could feel it occasionally, but I have no clue at all why I am experiencing this level of distress.

I know of a major traumatic experience in my childhood that could have caused my DID, but I genuinely remember little to nothing about my life and the factors are endless. When I do find stuff talking about my experiences, it sets me back and almost “triggers me” back into a state where I was during that time (I have no recollection still even after these triggers happen).

Skills and knowledge are somewhat distinctive between parts. Some parts have had full blown meltdowns because they didn’t understand an assignment, and when someone else switched in, they knew exactly what to do.

“Wishing to be a system” played a huge part in my formation, but it wasn’t wishing to be a system. It was wishing I had someone to talk to/had friends surrounding me because I was emotionally neglected as a child—this was around ages 6-10, so this thought process had a lot of impacts. I verbally talked to these parts and they often knew information I never remembered learning, and they often came around the most when I was lonely.

I don’t have a stable identity, and I haven’t had one for the entirety of my life. If I try to sit and think about it, my head will turn to TV static and shut off any chance of understanding my situation. I spend about 80-90% of my time going through the motions of life without any acknowledgment of my identity, thoughts, feelings, sensations, or perceptions in life.

Trauma doesn’t have to be a serious case of SA or physical abuse, it is possible it could be years of emotional neglect causing you to turn inward. Bullying, oppression, poverty, disability, physical illness, messy divorces/parents NOT divorcing, war, and many other issues are extremely taxing on a child.

This disorder is covert and nearly undetectable in most cases. Sometimes this means that it’s nearly impossible to see in ourselves. The whole point is to hide and make sure we “function” correctly in society, even at the expense of ourselves. It’s a coping mechanism our brain decided was the safest route to survive.

Identity disruptions, memory gaps, and all these things are not stable, concrete experiences. They are fluid. They can be wildly inconsistent, and you don’t have to be on the far end of the spectrum to experience these issues.

I’m not saying this as a genuine diagnosis of “You MUST have DID” because there are many different aspects that could impact this. I know that there are also like- labels that encompass different aspects that include trauma. However, this is just something I have noticed while scrolling through tumblr recently. This also isn’t targeted in any way, but if it resonates with you, I think learning about DID in medical contexts isn’t a bad idea (or at least learning of dissociation).

I have seen that a big reason many people get nervous to interact with traumagenic spaces is because of how aggressive and toxic they can be, which I understand is definitely a problem we see. It’s definitely a product of how DID is and what societal hatred does to marginalized communities. I take a very chilled and laid back approach to pretty much anything, so if you feel too scared to interact with the traumagenic community, I don’t mind trying to help!

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

it is not really a shock that this fandom has a bit of a misogyny problem, but i think a specific one is how the boys are often somewhat babied and given all sorts of pity for every single tiny thing they go through, while the girls with similar issues are often ignored entirely. there are many examples of this, but right now, i am going to talk at length about the Tenmas and the Shinonomes in particular, as them being pairs of siblings allows very direct comparison.

firstly, the one that irks me most: Tsukasa Tenma, and how a ridiculous number of his fans will make absolutely everything about him. including Saki's disability. i do think it's right to acknowledge the impact on him as well- but it gets overdramatic really quickly. i'm sorry to be harsh, but Saki did not spend her childhood in and out of hospitals, believing that she was dying, just for half the fandom to completely brush over her trauma and be like "oh... poor, lonely Tsukasa..."

i rather hate this, because not only does it feel quite ableist to skim over the one directly suffering from the condition in order to massively favour someone who happens to feel a bit of the knock-on effect, but it's also used to unreasonably villainise the Tenma parents. people will go on about how "neglected" Tsukasa was... very well, how exactly would you have handled the situation? they did their absolute best. it was a highly unfortunate situation for everyone involved, and it's unfair to deem Mrs and Mr Tenma as "bad parents" simply because they prioritised their dangerously ill daughter over their confident son who always assured them that he'd be alright. yes, they could have made better choices for Tsukasa, such as hiring a babysitter... but i think people tend to forget that Saki's illness flared up very suddenly and randomly. as the good parents the Tenmas are, they very likely couldn't think properly due to their panic for their daughter. it was instinct to drop everything and get her immediate help. and Tsukasa himself understands this, so it's an absolute wonder that the fandom doesn't. he was not ignored. he was phoned, updated on the situation, reassured that his sister was recovering... and praised by his parents for being such a wonderful brother.

also, with the situation of Saki's hospitalisation, i do feel like Tsukasa's own personality is sometimes not taken into account, ironic since it's him that everyone's interested in. because i would, in fact, be more critical of the Tenma parents, had Tsukasa been a more fragile child. if he had been the type who was easily scared, who could not handle being by himself, who would, in fact, have been traumatised from being left alone- i would say that the Tenma parents would have deserved the treatment they get from the fandom. but... that's not Tsukasa. it has been shown that Tsukasa was always a very bright, self-assured boy, positively brimming with confidence. even when little, he was creative and strong- and his parents knew this. they could have some peace of mind during a stressful time, knowing that their son could entertain himself with ease, such as how he was practising some acting just before his mother rang him. all of this is shown within the Dazzling Stage event which is, funnily enough, the very same event that the lovers of Tsukasa angst latch onto.

of course Tsukasa was heavily concerned about Saki. he is an incredibly caring person, why wouldn't he be? and yes, of course he missed her while she was in the hospital. no one is trying to deny that, nor minimise his suffering. the fandom does that to Saki. while acknowledging that Tsukasa was affected is good, in fact, it is very interesting to see the impact of disabilities beyond those directly affected... it's the fact that it is majorly Tsukasa's issues that are focused on that confuses me. it's disproportionate. i do wish we saw just as much sympathy and discussion about Saki herself, in addition to her brother. the psychological impact that her illness and consequential exclusion had on her, as well as the obvious physical aspect. because that is just as interesting, if not potentially more so, and i will be making a future post about it.

moving on from the Tenmas, i'd now like to talk about the Shinonome siblings, in a little less detail, considering i personally have not witnessed the unfairness of their treatment as much as that between the Tenmas. though, make no mistake, it still exists.

now, Ena is a character who i feel has a certain percentage of those who dislike her. and what are the general traits that people point out when asked why they aren't a fan? from what i've seen, it is her anger management issues, past violence, and a general "tsundere" type of personality that earns her this criticism. i'm not saying she does not have any of this. she absolutely does. she is flawed, as good, complex characters should be. though, everything she is despised for... who else regularly displays the exact same traits?

none other than her own brother, Akito. yet the dislike for him, while it is obviously around, does not seem quite as common as hers. a very short and hot temper? check. shows of violence? check. a sometimes harsh way of speaking? check. can sound aggressive and off-putting on occassion? check. Akito and Ena are incredibly similar when it comes to their more negative traits. i suppose it's not a surprise, considering that they were both brought up in the same, questionable environment. though, why does Ena seem to be hated so much more?

most will bring up the very infamous mention of how Ena and Akito's fights would get physical when they were younger. and how this makes Ena an "abuser" because supposedly, as she is the elder one, there was an imbalance in power... but was there really? it is incredibly controversial to say, but i do believe that the violence between them, particularly that which was committed by Ena, is quite exaggerated by fans. and here is where i think that Akito tends to be babied.

Ena was not significantly stronger than Akito. perhaps not ever physically stronger than him at all except when they were literal babies. there is only one year of difference between their ages. in the current day, it is no debate that Akito is one of the strongest characters, regularly going on runs, being able to sprint with Tsukasa on his back, while Ena is quite on the opposite end of the spectrum, preferring the indoors and such. what i am saying is that it is absurd how the fandom makes it seem like Akito was some utterly defenceless little toddler that was getting beaten up by his Big Bad Sister. realistically, he was fully capable of fighting back- and he does. it's hardly as if we see him cower before her. he has absolutely no issue retorting to her in a snarky manner. when people bring up the whole drama of Ena scratching him, they conveniently forget what he says directly afterwards- that he could dodge her attacks. not to mention, sibling fights getting physical and a little violent is incredibly common, take it from me- i am an oldest sister myself. if you call Ena an abuser, you are saying that you want half the older siblings in this world behind bars.

oh, and people will talk until they're blue in the face about how the "nasty" and "crazy" Ena scratched up her brother when they were younger- are we forgetting that Akito punched Toya in the literal main story? that left a massive bruise on his cheek. that isn't talked about nearly as much as some common sibling scrap.

if you can let similar behaviour slide from Akito... how come it is unacceptable from his older sister? who is, arguably, from what has been shown in the story so far... under the greater amount of stress from the tension within their family. it was her that was explicitly discouraged by their father. we haven't seen such conflict between Shinei and his son, have we? that's not to say that Akito's current personality isn't also explained, having grown up in that environment, but why is it that Ena receives so much less sympathy than him when she, understandably, lashes out?

Saki and Ena have both had it rough. in their own, very different, ways. yet, a staggering amount of pity is given, not to them, but to their respective brothers.

and i must, sadly, wonder... if the mere genders of these four characters happened to be swapped and all else remained as it is...

... would the perception of any of them be quite the same?

[nothing0fnothing]

A lot of people don't understand that likeability is a massive decider in how we acsess the world, and how that disproportionately affects survivors of childhood abuse.

If we're likeable we get perks. We might get upgraded on our flight. We could get a little freebie here and there. Humans are social creatures. People like us, and in turn want to do nice things in hopes we will like them back. That's super cool. Win for humanity. Nice people deserve nice things. Everyone deserves a free latte or a slightly nicer hotel room as a treat.

But we don't just deal with this kind of social exchange for flights and lattes. Buying a car is a social interaction. Job interviews are social interactions. Doctors appointments are social interactions. Stop and searches or traffic stops are social interactions. If you're likeable, you will probably get a car for a fair price or a job you're qualified for. You will find it easier to get your doctor to listen to you or you might be able to charm your way out of a ticket. If you're not likeable, those things become harder for you.

So.. what? Karma. Good vibes. What goes around comes around. Be nice to people and they'll be nice to you, duh.

But likeability has very little to do with being nice. For most people, being likeable isn't in their control. If you're ugly or fat, if you're not white, if you're lower class, if you're disabled or neurodivergent, suddenly whether you're liked or not has very little to do with how you treat other people, it's about how they perceive you. It's painful when you just want people to like you, it's dangerous when you need them to.

This is why abusers attack their victims likeability.

Gaslighting. Smear campaigning. Public shaming. Isolating the victim till all their friends and family wonder why she suddenly thinks she's too good for them. It all puts a victim in a place where they fear they won't be believed not because they're not credible, but because they're no longer likeable. They're both social currencies, but when you need help and support, likeability always spends better.

Remember Depp v Heard? What was all that revenge porn and outright lying all about? It was about making Amber Heard; the young and beautiful, self educated multilingual, long time human rights champion and loving mother, unlikeable. It was all utter bullshit, but it worked. People were making memes out of her rape testimony. They swarmed her with hate outside the courthouse. They followed her home and posted feces through her letter box. His attorney joked publicly about all the ways she intentionally triggered Amber's PTSD moments before she was to face the world in the most public domestic abuse trial in history, and the public laughed with her. Depp, with the help of his high profile colleagues and incredibly expensive spin doc- I mean lawyers, made Amber unlikeable, and when people decided she was unlikeable they decided she must also be uncredible.

Abusive parents also have the power to make their victims unlikeable. They do this by consistently traumatising them into socially disparaged behaviour, while projecting to the world a picture of the perfect family dealing with a "problem child".

We have a picture in our heads of battered children as withdrawn, quiet little angels, sadly suffering in silence just waiting for someone to notice the pain in their eyes and save them. In real life, this is rarely the case. Most children who have experienced early life abuse are reactive and disruptive. They are defensive and quick to anger. They are loud or sarcastic and they don't respect authority. In short, they are mirrors of the environment that they deal with at home. Due to this, behavioural interventions outside of the home does very little to help, the root of the issue isn't being fixed. So they get reputations as difficult little shits.

These kids go out and interact with the world like the hurt and traumatised people that they are, and the people that are supposed to be their safety net by reporting any suspicions of abuse to CPS, simply don't. Why? Because we find the child less likable than their parents. So when the child says "help me, my home life is horrible", we compare our impression of them to our impression of their parents, and usually without even realising why, we don't take them seriously.

Paris Hilton is an adult survivor of childhood abuse and torture at the troubled teen wilderness programme. Now an adult she uses her platform to speak up, but on that platform she's also told some harrowing stories of how her reputation as a vapid, self serving mean girl/wild child once kept her silent. She wouldn't be believed and her pain would only be mocked or shamed if she spoke out sooner. It's only after years of rebuilding that reputation into one that better reflects who she is as an adult, people are ready to believe her now. Why? Because she wasn't likable then, but she is now.

The thing is, most of us don't grow up into beautiful, wealthy superstars who age like fine wine and are universally loved by every sane person on the planet. Some of us are traumatised as children, who grow into traumatised teens who grow into traumatised adults. Being a traumatised adult is better than being a traumatised teen in a lot of ways. Having the power to simply not speak to the people who abused us for all our formative years is a big one. Not needing the signature of those abusers to acsess things like shelter, sustenance, support and medical care is another. It's not all bad being an adult survivor. It's not easy either though.

Like, I'm only half joking when I say having a stable family you can rely on into your adulthood is a privilege. Most of us don't have that because the smear campaigns didn't just Thanos snap out of existence the moment we turned 18. Out extended families often still see us as the bratty, entitled, violent little shits our abusive parents have been telling them we are since we were walking. On top of that all those authority issues and behavioural issues and PTSD symptoms we had as kids are still there, because nobody believed us when we asked for help so we just never got it.

It has nothing to do with who we are as people, but we just give off "bad vibes." It makes us susceptible to revictimisation and it means when people see the resting bitch face or the anxious fidgeting or the deadpan tone of speaking, their natural human judgement meter decides they don't like us. So we don't get upgraded on the plane and we don't get free lattes and yeah we pay more for things like cars and services because the natural drive people have to give each other favors doesn't really work for us. So some of us don't get perks but that's okay, they're perks because not everyone gets them. It's not a big deal.

Accessing the world shouldn't be a perk of being untraumatised. But when we lose out on job opportunities because our interviewer finds a non traumatised person more likeable than us, it feels like it is. When we don't have a saftey net of familial support so it takes us longer to recover when we're down on our luck or just down in the dumps, it feels like it is. And when we are less likely to be believed when we are reporting either current or historic abuse, it feels like it is. And when we struggle to acsess medical care because our doctors associate typical behaviour of traumatised people with attention or drug seeking, it feels like it is.

[candyskiez]

so, you've heard shows be recommended because they had gay characters. you don't really know what they're actually about though, and don't know if they'd be something you'd be into and are worried about spoilers. here's spoiler free plot summaries of em!

The Owl House

The Owl House starts out as a typical teenage girl goes into a fantasy realm story, but with a twist. Actions have consequences. The protagonist is a girl named Luz Noceda, who was being sent to a camp to make her behave normally by her mother after causing too much trouble at school. She ends up finding a place she's always dreamed of: a fantasy world. A world where everyone's so much weirder than she is. And she thinks, maybe if I don't belong out there, maybe people will like me here. Maybe I can be special here.

It's a story about found family, propaganda, erased history, living with disability, religious trauma, and neurodivergence. It's fundamentally a show about people who's brains work differently finding each other and making a family that treats them right. Definitely my favorite of the ones on this list. It's about people who've been oppressed being pissed about it and about finding yourself again after giving up on everyone around you for so long. It's basically a show about being a minority and trying to be understood and to understand yourself in the process. It's about growing up neurodivergent and how isolating it feels and figuring yourself out. It's about repairing broken relationships and parents who fuck up. And it's just. Such a love letter to anyone who was the weird kid in school. It's sad and heartbreaking and also so hopeful, and it's wonderful.

Content warnings: Abuse, Death, Grief, Animal Death, Suicidal thoughts, Vague suicide attempts, Depression, blink and you'll miss it s/h, body horror, religious trauma

She Ra and the Princesses Of Power

Adora was raised in the Horde since she was a baby, being fed propaganda about how cruel the princesses were. After learning how the horde actually was, though, she defects. But there's one problem. Her best friend, Catra, stays behind. Adora finds a sword that can transform her into She Ra, and might be the key to figuring out who she really is, while Catra takes her place as force captain.

It's a story about abuse, at the end of the day. Adora and Catra were stuck in a golden child and scapegoat dynamic, despite how much they care about each other. This leads to them knowing everything about each other but not understanding it. There's a fundamental disconnect between them, because both of their traumas are completely different. They have complete misconceptions about each other. Even in their initial split, they both have completely different perceptions of what's going on and why the other is upset. It's not a story about magic princesses, it's about the cycle of abuse and what makes it so complicated. Does it have flaws? Yeah. But ultimately I really really enjoy it, and when it does something right it does something RIGHT. Get through season one, it starts kids show-y but it gets very good during later s1.

Content warnings: Abuse (obviously), body horror, gaslighting (and I mean actual gaslighting, not what the Internet thinks gaslighting is), suicide, depression, flashing lights and eyestrain during the finale

Steven Universe

Steven Universe is a sins of the father story. Steven is the son of the leader of the rebel group The Crystal Gems, who's name was Rose Quartz. He navigates the confusion of being half gem and half human, as well as trying to figure out the mess of the rebellion and what his mother left behind. He's constantly in her shadow, for better or for worse.

It's a story about grief. How it impacts relationships, how it taints history, how it impacts family. It has some definite flaws, but ultimately it's about very flawed people who have lost so many people in their life trying to cope with it. Trying to handle what they lost and trying to adjust to life without them. It's about how expectations fuck a kid up and about agency and just a show about complicated relationships in general, at the end of the day. Also, it has some FANTASTIC music.

Content warnings: Grief, Abuse, body horror, very creepy people I don't know how to tag, heavy allegories for homophobia

Nimona

Nimona is a story about a guy who gets framed for murder. His name is Ballister Boldheart, a commoner who hoped to become a knight. It seemed everyone was waiting to watch him fail, so it was no surprise when he was the immediate target. Heavily injured and away from the man he loves, he's left alone trying to figure out a way to prove his innocence- until a strange kid comes into his life. This kids name is Nimona, and while he is intent on proving his innocence, she gave up on being anything but a villain a long time ago.

It's about deconstructing the model minority myth, trans rage, propaganda, and with a healthy dose of "FUCK the police".

Content warnings: Heavy injury, on screen suicide attempt, flashing lights

feel free to add more shows! just remember to keep the summaries as spoiler free as you can and add content warnings!