#Disabled parent of disabled child problems...

[heyftinally]

You also have to account for the environment someone has been in and is currently in.

Because yeah, maybe that teenager comes off as moody to you - but maybe that's because she's been parenting her little brother since she was eight while her mom goes out and parties.

Maybe that small child throws a lot of temper tantrums and acts like a brat - but if their parent gives in every time they do, then they're learning that that's acceptable behavior that works to get them what they want.

That ten year old can't figure out the homework problem? Well has anyone questioned whether or not they have a learning disability? Has anyone looked at how the material is being taught and accounted for it being incompatible with how the child learns?

Yes, sometimes kids are just little assholes, but sometimes there are reasons behind it that adults have failed to do anything about.

so much of what people attribute to like inherent biological differences between age groups is a lot more just the result of having different amounts of life experience. is that teenager functionally brain damaged because their brain is "underdeveloped" or have they only been alive for 14 years and thus do not have the same amount of practical experience + wisdom to draw on when dealing with difficult situations.

[stevishabitat]

[zoe-oneesama]

“Therapy is for broken people, and our Adrien is PERFECT!” Aside from the inherent nastiness and problems of BOTH of the independent clauses in that sentence, considering how much Emilie is concerned with her public image as well as her image among the people in her Inner Circle, I wonder how it’ll affect her as she continues to drop little nuggets like that when she starts being seen as (and ESPECIALLY treated as) if not a Boy Mom or an Ableist Mom, at the very least an Innocently Insensitive Mom minus the coddling attitude someone like her would hope “naturally” comes with that title.

I mean, if OG, Canon Emilie went so far as to give herself Magic Wasting Disease by using a broken Miraculous to invent the Perfect™️ Obedient Prodigy Child that Literally Cannot Disobey and Has No "Flaws" instead of, you know...adoption...

I definitely see her as the kind of person who can't handle a "broken" child that might, idk, need some help?

[crippledanarchy]

I wish people who hate kids would stop having children

[luckyladylily]

This post is about kids. In specific, I wrote this about my developmentally disabled daughter when she had just turned 7. Do you really think that a child who struggles with using a controller at all and is unable to speak understands the concept of keybindings, the principles of design that will allow her to know why she is struggling, and has the technical knowledge to successfully design a new control scheme that will alleviate her problem? She's fucking 7.

Many parents won't understand either, and parents who do like myself are not going to want to put in the time and effort to understand every single game we get for our kids enough to properly remap everything every single time when it could have and should have been done right by the designers of the game.

And then there are the things that can't be changed, because a control scheme is not just the buttons you press but when you have to press them and how your character, you know, controls when you press them. How much precision is expected and required, what kind of reaction times are you expecting from your players, how easy it is to transition between different input states and taking that into account when deciding what kind of challenges are going to chain together and how quickly.

This is basic shit for game designers. Yes, they do not design the input device, but they do have to use the input device and understand its properties. They have to think about this shit. It has knock on effects in everything from character movement to level design, and it is especially critical when designing games for a young audience!

This is one small way game design differs between an adult audience and a child audience, and even different age groups of children. I only chose hand size and input devices because it is so obvious after it is pointed out to you but few people ever think about it. Designing for children requires a specialized set of skills and knowledge.

“I went to school for game design! I am highly qualified to talk about any game out there!”

I bet you don’t even know how big an 8 year old’s hands are.

[b00m-b0mb]

Something really funny that's occurred to me is the way Joe talks about Maccie is like she's some catastrophic event that happened to their family "I can't believe she's been here that long." / "Everything's been different since she was born" / "Everything changed." / "She changed everything."

And it's just rlly funny to me. I want to up the dramaticness of his words at some point. And anyway, he's talking to the Samurai/Ronin for the first time and I'm wondering the impression he's getting lmao

Joe is certainly expressive to me, but only when he's given the chance. And I think w Ronin, he just started letting a lot of stuff out bc thus guy is gonna go on his way anyways.. but then he's like wait!!! Actually let me go?? For a little? (Platonic yearning so bad)

Ronin like 》^. "I suppose.. Alright, curious karate man, I'll accompany you a little longer."

Or something I'm messing around UGH

[interruptingkau]

Radio show I listen to on my work commute had such horrendous takes on men taking parental leave that I actually texted them about it

[waywardtyrantpirate]

🍓🥞My Blog !!!🍓🥞

Go check out my blog!!! I made a blog bc I'm bored an incase something happens to this one. I'm going to be blogging about my dangerous life an my illnesses/injuries. I'm not really safe. I am safe at the moment but I have people who tried to 𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒍 me an 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒆. So I've made this blog to cope an to keep an eye on my safety.

General triggerwarnings apply as I will be talking about people trying to kill me, child abuse (that I experienced), somethings involving sa an sexual harrasment. But the truth needs to get out there...one way or another.

Pls take a look an I'll keep yall updated. But if youre squeamish or dont wanna read that stuff pls dont read it, take care of your mental health. I wont be offended or mad.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ🍓🥞🍰✨🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

vetted fundraisers from today. please continue to give support to families like these in whatever capacities you can, they are suffering such unfathomable deprivation and grief.

july 18th:

Safaa, her husband, their baby son Amir, and Safaa's parents, who both urgently need medical treatment ($1,086/$75,000) - @safaamiroo, verified by @/90-ghost

Amira Alanqar, her two siblings, and their mother, who needs treatment for diabetes (Amira is solely responsible for her family after the loss of their father) (€14,484/€20,000) - @amira-world, verified by @/nabulsi

Ashraf Alanqar, his wife Widad Issa, and their little son Bakr (€8,974/€30,000) - @ashraf-family, verified by @/90-ghost

Wafaa Alnhal's family of 15, including four young children and a newborn (the family has already lost multiple members, including Wafaa's sister and teenage niece) (€34,690/€50,000) - @wafa-nahll, #171 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi's spreadsheet

Widow Hadeel Abu Jiab and her family of 12, including three young children (Najwa who was orphaned, Samira who needs treatment for vision problems, and Almas who is in severe shock) and Hadeel's injured mother and brother (€2,814/€20,000) - @palestinianhadeel, verified by @/90-ghost

Salahaldin Hor, his wife Sundus, and their three young daughters, two of whom have been injured (€1,946/€40,000) - @salahaldinhor, verified by @/90-ghost

Islam Al-Najjar and his family (€15/€30,000) - @islamgazaaccount2, verified by @/90-ghost

The Ayyad family of eight, including a sick child who needs treatment to save her sight (CHF3,753/CHF60,000) - @basel-1995, @amanyayyad, #214 on @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein's spreadsheet

Mohammed Atallah (needs urgent surgery after being shot with an explosive bullet) and his family of 11, including a toddler and a newborn (€3,205/€82,000) - @mohammed-atallah, verified by @/90-ghost

Ola Ahel, her four siblings, and their parents ($7,308/$20,000) - @olagaza, #205 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi's spreadsheet

Yousef, a toddler who needs lifesaving treatment for a severe blood disease, and his parents (€4,080/€25,000) - @dima96yousef, verified by @/90-ghost

Nour Ashour, her husband, and their two little children, including Muhammad, who needs continuous treatment for disabilities relating to birth asphyxia (£55/£80,000) - @nourashour33, verified by @/90-ghost

Hala Daoud (needs vital treatment for multiple sclerosis) and her three children (€180/€17,000) - verified by @/frostedforestfairy (contact for more details)

Helping Tawfik Satoom continue his education ($902/$20,000) - @tawfiksatooom, #238 on the operation olive branch spreadsheet

Ahmed Alanqar, his wife Dina, and their four young children, one a newborn (€31,345/€35,000) - @ahmedabuyamin, #174 on @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein's spreadsheet

Helping Siraj Abudayeh, his wife, and their three young children rebuild their treasured home ($6,972 CAD/$82,000 CAD) - @siraj2024, #219 on @/el-shab-hussein and @/nabulsi's spreadsheet

Shimaa, her husband Abdel, and their little daughter Juri (€386/€50,000) - @shimaashaban22, @abdelmutei, verified by @/90-ghost

5-year-old Nour, her three sisters (all suffering from malnutrition), their parents, and their grandmother ($373/$25,000) - @nourbader2019, verified by @/90-ghost

not yet vetted:

Salem Anqar, his wife Hadeel, their two little children, Salim's five siblings (three of whom are children), and their chronically ill parents (kr1,022 SEK/kr990,000) - @salemanqar

Mohammed Ayyad and his family of seven, five of whom are children (Mohammed lost his mother when she was not able to evacuate for medical care) (€11,473/€35,000) - @mohammedayyad

The Eleyan family of 18, including eight children, one a newborn (€3,185/€50,000)

Doctor Mohammed Shurrab, his wife, their child, and ten extended family members (€435/€100,000) - @684599

a small amount of your time and effort can have an immeasurable impact. please don't scroll past without engaging in some way, it really makes a difference

[cannabiscomrade]

I wasn't going to derail the disability pride month post for people with peanut allergies but in relation to that topic

I have never seen another allergy that has been so viscerally hated and mocked by people working in education like nut allergies. I've seen fellow teachers cringe that their classroom was the "nut free" classroom that year. Support staff that are trained and willfully don't follow cross contamination protocol in the lunchroom because it's too "tedious" or "time-consuming". Full preschools + childcare centers that refuse to accommodate nut allergies. Schools where the only free lunch is a PB&J. Before/after school programs and summer programs whose food curriculum has nuts and doesn't provide an alternative activity.

Allergy discrimination is so so insidious and prevalent. It's happening behind their back and it is everything from the exposure joke to possibly causing someone to go into anaphylaxis from willful ignorance.

Also other parents in the classroom are guilty too. The "not my child not my problem" brain rot means that those lunchboxes are like bombs for airborne exposure allergies

[sootonthecarpet]

(having a regular one) was growing up low key expecting uour mom to murder/suicide you in the van in the river, (and for nobody to blame her for it,) like, a normal part of growing up with profound neurological problems in the 2000s (a time of escalating news coverage of this kind of killing) or what?

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP fanfic idea: Unwanted House Guest

Danny gets the bright idea to make his friends summoning disks in the case of emergencies. It's mostly due to a fight with a ghost that was so dangerous that his parents were forced to seal everyone in town behind another force field.

The only thing was, Danny winded up on the other side of it, seeing as no one realized Phantom and Fenton were one and the same. It took forever for Sam and Tucker to disable the force field, allowing Danny to go in and finish off the ghost wrecking havoc.

A metalsmith in the Zone made the disks for him using runes he selected for the design. The ghost had given Danny a warning before he started on the commission, repeatedly asking if the Halfa was certain he wanted to go through with it.

Apparently, the runes were a lost language of the Ancients, and while a direct translation was unavailable, he could make out that they would ensnare Danny to the summoner.

If that meant Danny would be their prisoner or forced to do their bidding, was anyone's guess. It was confirmed to be dangerous to even think of giving somone the chance to find out using Danny as a test subject.

But Danny trusted Sam and Tucker more than anyone in the multiverse. He pushed through with the disks.

The disks were disguised to look like a necklace, and when thrown like a Frisbee, the runes would activate and pull him to the location it landed in.

Danny was happy to see it was able to bypass forced fields, solid walls, long distances, and giving his friends means to get help as quickly as possible.

It was all well and good until Sam lost her necklace. Or more like she put it down in her room to shower, and her mother had gone through her room to throw away "problematic" belongings. Her parents had gotten it into their heads that Sam needed a firmer hand in changing her Gothic outlook on life and would randomly get rid of her things.

It was getting to the point Sam rarely spent any time at home and she was saving till the day she could leave and not ever return. Her parents were in a panic over it, trying even harder to control her life.

Thankfully, her grandmother had left her the entire estate, so Sam didn't need to worry about them controlling her finically. She just needed to hit eighteen, surviving with the help of Danny and Tucker.

Danny had an entire box of her things hidden in his house, as she had stashed some with Tucker, too. She was worried they would get rid of the last few things her grandma gave her before the older woman's passing.

She was in tears when she reported the lost summoning disk. Danny assured her that he didn't blame her, even of he was uncomfortable with the idea that a means to forcefully teleport him was lost somewhere in the world.

He prayed it did not fall into the wrong hands, as he went into the Zone to ask the metalsmith to make him another necklace.

The ghost had the good graces to not tell Halfa a "I told you so" while he made Sam's replacement.

Three years passed before Sam's lost disk became a problem. It had fallen into the wrong hands, alright.

It had fallen into Lex Luther's hold, and the man wanted Danny to kill Superman. There was a moment of horror where Danny thought he would be forced to go through it when he realized that no.

The only thing the runes did was tie him to Lex, making it impossible to be more than 20 miles away from the man. A string of light would appear around their wrists and flung them together as if someone had handcuffed them.

The other great thing was that the disks automatically changed him into Phantom, and Lex was unaware of Danny's human side. He just thought he was cursed with a nineteen year old Ghost King.

"How can the great and powerful Ghost King be a child?! A useless one at that!" Lex snared while gesturing at the glowing young adult.

Danny raises a brow from where he is soaking in Lex's expensive suit hot tub. " I'm not the one who can't get over my ex. Buy a cat or something, man. "

"I was never with Superman!"

" Don't you have a kid with him? Superboy? He's biologically Superman and your son, right? Deadbeat. "

"That's not.....get out of my house!"

"No." Danny sips some of Lex's fancy wine. " i like it here. It's been ages since I been in the human realm."

Lex also seemed unaware that Danny was trapped with him. It was better to play it off as a higher being bothering him so the man wouldn't try to make him do anything until Danny was able to free himself.

[lolottes]

Basically, the Fenton device grafted to his vertebral column was to give him a slight shock to prevent him from going from one form to another (operation based on their belt)

But the adjustment was made taking into account the phantom resistance to electricity of ecto origin… Which Danny did not have in his human form, resulted in his nerves burning and healing incorrectly. The only thing that makes him still have sensations is the small dose of ecto which is in his body even in human form which compensates and transmits information (avoiding things like incontinence) but that is not enough for them physical functions like walking or simply standing and balancing.

And… and the Fenton parents weren't even particularly apologetic, they were much happier to have managed to keep Danny away from his ghostly identity.

Suffice to say that contrary to usual, none of the Fenton children discouraged their parents from leaving home, on the contrary.

The only reason Danny isn't freaking out is because he thinks the ectoplasmic battery isn't going to last forever. The only advantage of Gotham being that it is a less ectoplasmic city than Amity Park and therefore, as his body continues to have to have a supply of ectoplasm he hopes that this means that his body will suck the ectoplasmic energy from the battery faster . Although he has no real proof for any of his theories, he clings to them

The phantom team also 100% modified their wheelchair almost invisibly. Les Bat thinks personalization comes from parents.

DP X DC PROMPT (paralized!Danny au)

Alfred Pennyworth is Danny's great uncle. The only reason Alfred kept much contact with them was that they are the only family of his in America.

One day Alfred gets a message from Maddie and Jack explaining they are going out of country for the summer for some ghost chasing, and they want him to take care of their "poor penalized son, so no ghosts can get to him" (Maddie's words).

Alfred agrees because clearly his nephew needs a better environment than his ghost obsessed parents. Now Danny is living in Wayne Manor with everyone else for the summer. Very clearly upset because he had his own plans for the summer.

Over time it does get better, but the batfam notice very odd things about him. Such as Duke noticing the light is off around him, his need to make sure everything is secured, and as Jason had disturbingly learned after breaking in in the middle of the night for some food, his glowing green eyes.

Everything else is up to you.

[astrobiscuits]

Chiron persona chart obs

WARNING: BRIEF MENTIONS OF ED, S*ICIDE, S*XUAL AB*SE. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND NOT TO READ THIS POST IF YOU'RE VERY SENSITIVE thank you

Stelliums show us where our main trauma or wound lies:

Stellium in Aries/1st house - body image issues/body dysmorphia, hating ones face and wanting to change it at all cost, being so focused on ones trauma that it results in excessive independence

Stellium in Taurus/2nd house - self worth issues, hating ones voice and/or being made fun of for how ones voice sounds, excessive shopping due to fear of having nothing, having stash of cash hidden everywhere in the house due to being scared of getting robbed

Stellium in Gemini/3rd house - being too scared to speak to others, hating the way you express yourself, being an overachiever at school due to fear of being seen as "stupid", fear of being run over by a bicycle or a car

Stellium in Cancer/4rd house - family problems (divorced parents, one of the parents is out of the picture for whatever reason, family members dealing with addictions, family abuse), issues when it comes to comforting yourself in times of crisis, HEAVY abandonment issues

Stellium in Leo/5th house - had to grow up too fast instead of enjoying childhood, fear of not being "the perfect parent", fear of not making it in the industry (for those pursing creative careers or following their passions), issues regarding getting pregnant and delivering a child, fear of being burned by the sun or by fire

Stellium in Virog/6th house - fear of contacting an incurable disease, issues regarding eating disorders, trauma regarding messy spaces, which results in OCD

Stellium in Libra/7th house - issues caused by getting cheated in a relationship, fear of trusting someone in a one-on-one connection, trauma resulted from business affairs which have gone wrong

Stellium in Scoprio/8th house - fear of death, issues caused by sexual trauma/sexual abuse, grooming, stalking, human trafficking, mysterious disappearances, divorce, taxes, loans

Stellium in Sagittarius/9th house - fear of not being able to experience everything one has always wanted, issues caused by not living to ones full potential, fear of travelling too far away, religious trauma

Stellium in Capricorn/10th house - fear of being forgotten and not standing out, issues regarding not looking & acting in a professional manner when needed, fear of not being promoted in ones career, the trauma is very visible to the public

Stellium in Aquarius/11th house - fear of not fitting in a crowd or a friend group, issues regarding being part of LGBTQ+ or a subculture often dismissed (POC, people with disabilities, orphanage kids, emos), trauma related to the country's government and (possible) implications in war, fear of dying in a natural disaster (earthquake, tsunami, volcano), fear of dying by electrocution or in an airplane crash

Stellium in Pisces/12th house - fear of being admitted to a prison, asylum or nursing home, having frequent thoughts of unaliving onself, fear of drowning, fear of what happens after death, fear of being misunderstood or made fun of for hearing voices and seeing things which aren't real

Moon shows us how we process our trauma and wounds:

Moon in Aries/1st house : screams, throws things around (maybe also breaks a few things), if anyone reminds them of their wounds/traumas, they'd literally break that person's neck; they might recklessly drive, play with fire or drink excessively out of anger

Moon in Taurus/2nd house : resorts to retail therapy, cooks their favourite meals, gets some comfy pillow and blankets and watches their favourite show; they're slow to heal their wounds, but they manage to do so

Moon in Gemini/3rd house : overanalyzes what happened to the point that they've thought of every scenario possible, (if they have more than one wound/trauma) switches between wounds, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with siblings and acquaintances

Moon in Cancer/4th house : cries 24/7, acts distant with people who are not close to them and defensive with those who want to talk about their feelings; they tend to have very, very unhealthy coping mechanisms (aka they resort to self-harm)

Moon in Leo/5th house : transforms their pain & wounds into a form of art - whether it's through dancing, painting, singing, acting, photography, videography; sometimes they might not recognize how much their past affects them, especially around others, they boast about how "it wasn't that bad" even though they're clearly affected by what happened

Moon in Virgo/6th house : focuses on the details, what they could have done better and what they didn't, easily becomes anxious, cleaning the house becomes a form of therapy for them; in case of physical wounds, they document themselves very well (sometimes they are even able to heal themselves, since this Moon sign in Chiron persona chart has a sort of 6th sense about medicinal procedures)

Moon in Libra/7th house : their s/o knows every pain, wound and traumas they've ever experienced, analyzes the past in a logical manner and tries to find a healthy coping mechanism, without hurting anyone else in the process; listens to sad, romantic songs

Moon in Scorpio/8th house : if someone else is guilty for their wounds/traumas, they're going to plot revenge and execute their plan in a discreet manner; often jealous, they might pursue fwb connections to stop thinking about their pain; the ones who manage to deal with their past in a healthy manner become a completely different person in the process

Moon in Sagittarius/9th house : dealing with their wounds/traumas opens a new world for them, they end up adopting a new set of beliefs as a coping mechanism, travelling to another country to get some space from their surroundings helps them heal

Moon in Capricorn/10th house : replays the past over and over again, they numb their emotions, if asked about their wounds/traumas, they answer very stoic; they also tend to be more realistic and don't like to tell themselves lies or hear lies about their trauma

Moon in Aquarius/11th house : resorts to technology to cope with the pain, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with their friends or on social media, but not with family; they might try some unusual coping mechanisms

Moon in Pisces/12th house : they isolate themselves from everyone in order to cope with the pain, meditation and breathing techniques are their to-go methods of calming their anxiety down; if they don't manage to cope in a healthy way, they dissociate and go through a depersonalization process or an addiction takes over them (drinking, smoking, they overuse medication etc.)

Jupiter shows us where we're blessed, but fail to see. The stronger the modality, the more obvious it is to other people.

♃ Jupiter in fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and/or fixed houses (2nd house, 5th house, 8th house, 11th house) are extremely blessed and everyone is able to notice, but the native.

♃ Jupiter in cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) and/or cardinal houses (1st house, 4th house, 7th house, 11th house) are blessed, but only a specific category of people notice it.

♃ Jupiter in mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) and/or mutable houses (3rd house, 6th house, 9th house, 12th house) are still blessed, but the effect is hardly noticeable to anyone.

Those with:

Grand Trine/Kite/Yod (Finger of God)

Sun, Jupiter, North Node and ruler of the chart conjuncting MC and/or placed in 10th/11th house (minimum 2 placements)

Stellium in 10th house/11th house

-> have got amazing healing abilites and often end up pursuing careers where they help & heal society (usually as doctors, therapists, spiritual advisors, social workers, advocates who actually make a difference, etc.) They usually become famous for their healing gifts.

Other small considerations:

Ascendant shows us how we are perceived at first glance when we are dealing with pain

IC shows us how we are perceived by our family (or in a safe, secluded place) when we are dealing with pain

DSC shows us how we are perceived by our partner or best friend when we are dealing with pain

MC shows us how we are perceived in public (or in our career) when we are dealing with pain

North Node shows us our salvation (where we need to focus on in order to heal)

🕊 Sun trine Moon & Sun sextile Moon individuals have an easier time healing their traumas and wounds

🕊 Sun opposite Saturn & Sun square Saturn individuals feel the need to rebel from their father/grandparents, norms that have been imposed on them, old customs & traditions, institutions/government, in order to heal themselves

[theemptyballroom]

Rant again

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

my frustration with “going nonverbal/nonspeaking” (as a fully nonverbal person)

transcript: my frustration with “going nonverbal/nonspeaking” (as a fully nonverbal person)

this written for instagram because of this post. but thought tumblr may like it too. “you” means general you, no one specific.

the instagram post and this on wordpress

this disclaimer is for instagram but also for anyone new to this discussion:

in full honestly, don’t know how to write this. am tired, language and complex ideas too much at time of writing, and general exhaust at having to argue same thing over and over again and justify own existence. tired of being minority within minority, wish there are others to do these work for me so i don’t have to do it all by self, singlehandedly advocate for everyone (not to mention problem with that—i can’t speak for everyone).

so honestly, if you don’t have anything nice to say, especially if you speaking (yes, even if you lose speech. include you), just don't say anything at all. move on.

online actually autistic community (AAut) dominated by white, lower support needs. level 1, speaking, late diagnosed, high masking autistics. find people like you is great, what not great is you treat your very narrow community as “voice of all autistic” and your experience as ultimate autistic experience. i write plenty about that, many more elaborate than this, if you not familiar with this concept.

many people in this community experience times when cannot speak, sometimes because overwhelm, shutdown, dissociate, or anxiety (situational mutism), but do not struggle with act of speaking rest of time (some struggle with speech all the time but still can speak - more on that later). the community call “going nonverbal/nonspeaking,” or even “when i am nonverbal nonspeaking” (not talking about those nonverbal as child and verbal now older), after clinical term “nonverbal” (nonverbal autism) and term coined by apraxic nonspeaking autistics “nonspeaking.”

both of which talk about it as an “all the time” experience.

when i search nonverbal or nonspeaking because i want community too, want see people like me too, two category i see: 1) parents of nonverbal nonspeaking children, whom can’t relate to because age, who can’t write own experience because their age and developmental ability. and 2) overwhelming amount of speaking autistic talk about going nonverbal going nonspeaking.

and the very very few fully nonverbal nonspeaking voices. drowned out. cannot find anyone.

nonverbal used to be term to describe us, people who can’t speak or cannot functionally speak beyond few words. medical term, alright, so some of us don’t like. so some of us reject that and create term all of our own, called nonspeaking. created by nonspeaking autistics with severe apraxia and brain body disconnect, describe their own experience of able to think in words able to spell out words (with great dedication and work and support), just cannot do that with mouth. their term. they create.

and you take it? without knowing context? without reading anything by those same nonspeaking coiners?

when is last time you purposely seek out nonverbal nonspeaking voices? when is last time you accidentally came across us? can you name any nonverbal nonspeaking advocate that talk about their experiences? one? two? three? a BIPOC person, a (specifically) Black person? a Black woman? a trans person? a physically disabled person? a person not from western world?

same narrative over and over. “i can speak for nonverbal autistic i understand their experience because i am autistic i can’t talk sometimes” no you cannot. as someone who was able to speak when young who lose speech (”go nonverbal”) but now have no speech to lose because full time nonverbal. no the experience not the same. not comparable. you gain it back. i don’t. you can explain with mouth words what happen when you get out. i can’t, i only have AAC. countless nonverbal nonspeaking people without AAC or sign cannot, at all. you never experience daily small and big struggle of casually being nonverbal all the time.

your experience of lose speech unique from my nonverbal. but if you so insist to compare and equate, you only guest to my experience, my daily life.

“when i go nonverbal and no one understand so have to force to speak” i cannot force words out. know you don’t mean to say this, and not saying you at fault for this, but nevertheless accidental perpetuate and reinforce idea that anyone who don’t speak can just be forced to speak if try hard enough. but often not how it works. and this exact harmful rhetoric devoid and delays nonverbal nonspeaking people given access to AAC, because “need try to force words out first, AAC unnatural so last resort.”

this may be new concept for you. new concept to instagram, to tiktok. to other places. it may seem i only one with this problem, “i once saw a nonspeaking person’s account and they don’t have problem.”

yeah, because we are not monolith. some nonverbal nonspeaking people don’t care. some nonverbal nonspeaking people may even welcome “go nonverbal nonspeaking” or “when i am nonverbal nonspeaking.”

but don’t be fooled into believe i only one. have many nonverbal/nonspeaking and/or higher support needs friends on tumblr, who talk about this who have been saying this for years. *years*. years before i joined. i am not creator, i only bring message here, because many of us are too high support needs too disabled to do anything else. many of us only stay on our small corner of tumblr because it most peaceful, because at least some listen, because least hostile, because need to defend our experience against our own community the least. (but it happens less doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, we still exhausted.) many of us only stay on our small corner of tumblr because that all we can handle, or because we not allowed or shouldn’t be on other social media because age or abilities or both.

i cannot handle conflict i do not do well and i shouldn’t be here. but if not me, who else? if i don’t do it, who else is going to?

some nonverbal nonspeaking people and parents of them may question, why you start debate about useless term when so many nonverbal nonspeaking people don’t even have access to communicate, real problems. to that i say i do those work too. and to that i say this is real problem too, because am autistic so online actually autistic community should also be my space too but it not. but it hostile. because am lonely because seeing yourself so crucial because don’t know anyone in person like me don’t have any friends in person like me, so i go online to find people like me and i cannot because no own term to search and what used to be term many people without similar experience insist they understand and can speak for me because they say we have similar experience. because this aloneness and the unique difficulty from being full time nonverbal and the struggle of future and the unique mistreatment from both outside but also inside community have drove me over edge many times and it is presence and knowing their presence of my tumblr nonverbal nonspeaking / higher support needs friends that gave me hope to stay. because so many people don’t listen and instead speak over. terminology only a symptom of problem. address roots, sure, but part of address roots is address symptoms.

‘well nonverbal people are never around” maybe it because you don’t make it welcome for us to join.

“fully nonverbal rare anyway” estimated 30% of us nonverbal nonspeaking, which this statistic probably only count those nonverbal since birth. even more are minimally speaking or without full functional communication, abilities limited to requests. sure, 30% still not majority. but significant amount never the less. speaking lower support needs autistic without intellectual disability not majority anyway too but your experience still deserve heard. ours too.

“see less nonverbal people because they don't have ability to communicate and use social media” yes, many nonverbal nonspeaking people not given access to communication (like AAC), forced to live in silence (because body language communication not enough alone!). silence from birth to teenage years, to adulthood, even until they die. some cannot understand social media or AAC because intellectual disability or cognitive ability. some not allowed on there because safety, some not allowed on because presumed incompetent and abused. all true. do you advocate for them too? or is it just talking point against me, pretend you care?

but not all of us, we exist. some of us thankfully supportive parents all along, parents given resources, us given resources, so we access to AAC since beginning. some of us became nonverbal later in life (which not same experience as those early in life, i acknowledge). some of us after years of forced silence, finally given access to AAC and can now communicate and advocate! some of us on social media - do you listen?

but you see none of us in your community anyway. maybe one token person.

you can go nonverbal. i cannot go verbal. see difference? you can come close to my experience, but i never will have (future) ability to go to yours.

it frustrate that have to specify am nonverbal **all the time** when write this, because if don’t do that will be assumed otherwise. frustrate that when in neurodivergent space stranger see me AAC they assume i can speak because they only know part time users (know part time users frustrate too because people assume they cannot speak and get surprised when they do. me being assumed automatic part time is not fault of part time AAC users.)

even been told am privileged to be nonverbal nonspeaking, privilege over speaking autistic who lose speech because in their mind it mean i get all support i need i get all recognition get all the representation. which. couldn’t be farther from truth.

all that. is fraction of reason i frustrate at “going nonverbal nonspeaking” and “when i was nonverbal nonspeaking.”

so many other words. lose speech. intermittent speech.

just want have own sub community where can find people similar experience.