#Dick is concerned
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Tim: Hey dick?
Dick: yeah?
Tim: Sooo... if someone were to hypothetically steal a sculpture called "The Hand". Would they call the heist, "The Hand Job"?
Dick *grinning and searching sculptures*: be a worse crime not to name it that
#batfam headcanons#bat family#batfam#batfamily#jason todd#bat brothers#dick grayson#red hood#tim drake#incorrect batfamily#incorrect dick grayson#dick is concerned#jason todd incorrect quotes#jason and dick#incorrect tim drake#tim drake is a menace#incorrect red robin#red robin#Red robin yummmmmm#nightwing incorrect quotes#incorrect nightwing#batboys#batbaby rambles#batfamily headcanons#the batfamily#batfamily shenanigans#batfam incorrect quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#cardinalcrap#500+
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Without the levels of ectoplasm Amity Park has, the rest of the world was filled with other, weaker forms of ‘ghosts’ called shades. Danny finds his purpose of protecting comes in all kinds of forms. This is useful when he finds a challenge in Gotham.
Warning: violence, murder, probably something else. Proceed with caution.
Danny has noticed when he left Amity Park and went to places that didn’t have ambient ectoplasm, he saw lots of shades. They were outlines of the people they once were, mere shadows of themselves. It wasn’t a soul per se. He was close to believing his parents when they said ghosts were just impressions of emotions in ectoplasm.
These shades couldn’t really hold a conversation with him, if they even noticed he was speaking to them. Some mumbled things under their breath, some moaned or screamed randomly, and others didn’t utter a sound. What he figured out over time was that they were actually attached to things or people. Not like a child is attached to their favorite toy, but physically couldn’t go far from whatever it was.
He’s seen shades attached to the places they died in, or perhaps a favorite object that was important to them, but the most interesting were the shades attached to people.
It was a small game of his to figure out who that person was to the shade. A child, a caretaker, a friend. He once saw a nurse who had some shades following her with smiles. It became less fun when he found his first serial killer. It was an older man carrying an oxygen tank behind him and surrounded by at least half a dozen young women shades. They wore expressions of sadness and anger and fear. He could recognize trauma when he sees it. Danny just stood frozen for a while, just watching this man pull out his oxygen to smoke a cigarette. He didn’t really know how to feel other than a cold fury that made his mind worryingly quiet.
“Whatchu lookin at, boy?” The old man snapped.
Danny just stared back into the dark and arrogant eyes. Then he looked up to the women who blinked back.
“You will have him soon. Then you can rest.”
They seem to understand, turning again to stare at the back of the man’s head with such expressions any other person seeing them would have screamed and run away as fast as they could. Danny did neither.
“Who you talking to?”
Danny stares back at the man who shifted in his seat uncomfortably.
“You’ll see soon enough,” he answers coldly before turning and walking away.
That was the first of more than he cared to find. Some he approached. Some he just stared at knowingly, watching the killers squirm under his intense gaze. Some he had to restrain himself from killing to avenge the victims hovering over their shoulder. One or two he didn’t hold himself back. His first was a woman actually, with children and toddlers clinging to her back like they didn’t understand how else to process what she did to them other than by staying close.
Danny followed her home. She ran a daycare from it. He couldn’t let it happen again. She wasn’t as old as the man with the oxygen tank, she had several more years before she died naturally. He needed to end it then. And he did.
He didn’t say one word to her or answer any of her angry questions as he plunged his hand into her chest and squeezed. Her heart burst like a water balloon and he cringed at the feeling. She died quickly and he waited for her shade to form.
When it did, the children didn’t know what to do. They were innocents, they weren’t like the young women waiting for their killer to die so they could rip him to shreds viciously. They hovered and flicked around excitedly. And when her shade finally formed and predictably turned on the children, snapping and reaching out with clawed hands to quiet them permanently, Danny stepped in to protect, like he always did. He bit and tore until there was nothing left.
He had seen shades and ghosts ‘move on’ before. Where they finally felt like they didn’t have to stay and they just faded contently, going where Danny couldn’t follow. Seeing all of the children disappear with laughs and smiles was the most bittersweet experience he could remember.
He cried himself to sleep that night.
So after traveling for a while and stumbling upon a glum city with far too many shades, he was a little overwhelmed. Never before had he seen so many in one place, other than the Zone of course. He couldn’t just leave, he needed to help as many as he could. For the first time in a rough while, Danny settled into one place, Gotham.
Over a couple weeks he helped as many as he could while working at some fast food place during the day and a weird bar at night.
Things were busy but manageable until one evening he was kidnapped and held hostage along with a dozen other people in some mad man’s scheme. He wasn’t particularly invested, knowing the Bats were going to come save them, that is until he actually saw the man, or more specifically the number of shades surrounding the man. This was Joker. It had to be. He never had a face to the name until today, but the shades that he spoke to the gave half answers to exactly three questions before becoming disinterested about half the time brought up Joker. Even the ones that weren’t in the building, must have been killed by this man. He wasn’t just a serial killer, he was a mass murderer.
Danny knew what he had to do.
With the Joker’s goons distracted with his presentation, the clown laughing into a camera that was apparently live, it wasn’t hard to escape his bonds and then borrow a gun he ‘found’.
He took aim.
“Boss, behind you!” One of the men shouted from behind the camera.
Joker turns with a wide grin and Danny doesn’t hesitate to pull the trigger.
Three shots ring out in the open space, the other hostages scream, and the goons shout urgently. Three holes are now in the Joker’s chest, the purple suit slowly staining an ugly brown. The Joker falls, allowing the camera (and everyone watching) to show the face of the teenage murderer.
Danny doesn’t even notice, his wide eyes on the body, gun pointed to the floor. He watches the beginnings of a shade form and he can feel more shades gather around with anticipation.
A window shatters before the goons can figure out what to do now that their employer is dead. They run as the Bats descend upon them, one freeing the hostages and another directing them outside where it’s safe.
The shade is almost formed and Danny catches himself from leaning in with the rest of the shades. They weren’t victims right now, they were hungry wolves prepared to bite and rip and tear apart.
“Hey, kid, I’m gonna need you to hand that over okay? You’re safe now, no one’s gonna hurt you,” Danny hears one of the vigilantes tell him, slowly moving closer.
Danny doesn’t pay the man any mind, not even twitching in his direction. The shade was formed. It was whole and disgusting and ugly. The rest of what made up the Joker started to laugh. Just that awful noise triggered the other shades into action, flying so fast at the grinning face the shade chokes and that ear-piercing laugh turned into a scream.
Danny feels the cold metal be removed from his loose grip at his side. That’s okay, he didn’t need it anymore. The monster was being slain right in front of him. He was glad he didn’t have to intervene like he had to with the children, Danny didn’t want to touch that thing.
“He’s in shock,” the vigilante says to someone else.
“Let Gordon take care of it. Zip tie his hands, he might be a danger to himself or others when he snaps out of it,” came a different voice, younger.
“Red,” the man hisses. “He’s a kid. He’s just scared.”
“Scared people do dumb things, N.”
Danny hears a sigh before his numb hands are gently tugged behind his back and he hears the shick of plastic tighten around his wrists. He doesn’t bother struggling as he’s more preoccupied watching the scene end as there is nothing left of the clown shade to tear apart anymore. The shades all around seem to settle and accept what just happened. Their murderer was gone. They were finally free.
One by one they started disappearing into the Aftermore until the effect was exponential. More and more until he couldn’t see any anymore, but he could feel shades fading throughout the whole city.
Danny doesn’t really remember what happened after that, too focused on the change in atmosphere all throughout Gotham. He could feel it, feel them.
Maybe he was in shock like the guy said. One minute he’s staring at the body of the man he killed on shaky knees and then the next time he blinks he’s in a chair in the police station, metal handcuffs keeping him to the table and an older gentleman with a grey mustache in the seat opposite him.
The man looks at him from over his glasses.
“You with me, kid?”
Danny nods.
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
Danny stares back.
“I shot the Joker,” he answers simply.
The man nods.
“Do you understand that he is dead?”
Danny blinks.
“I’d be concerned if he wasn’t.”
The man pauses and then shrugs a nod.
“That’s fair.” He looks at the teenager and sighs heavily. “My name is Commissioner Jim Gordon. I am in charge of this case and I need your statement of what happened. We already did this but I don’t think you were all there, so I’m going to read your Miranda rights again, okay?”
Danny nods and then listens to the man recite words that he says he understands. He tells Mr. Gordon what he knew and what happened (withholding the pieces of information that were ghostly) and then signs a piece of paper that reiterates what he just explained as well as a confession that he shot and killed the man known as Joker in the act of being a Good Samaritan as well as self defense.
All of this was just legality. Mr. Gordon assured him no one was actually going to prosecute him, not even the state to be honest, for the Joker’s murder. In the eyes of pretty much the rest of the city and the world, it was a public service.
It was unfortunate he couldn’t just go home after that. No, of course Mr. Gordon found out Danny didn’t have parents (that he knew of) and legally couldn’t just release him back to the abandoned hotel where he lives alone. Danny works, he has money for food and the laundry mat, he doesn’t really need anything else.
It would have been as simple as handing him over to one of the boy’s homes if, you know, Danny wasn’t the one to kill the most hated man in Gotham.
So Mr. Gordon calls someone and Danny sits tight, drinking a soda and eating some chips, both from the vending machine. He was just glad his handcuffs were off.
Danny has been at the station for hours by the time Mr. Gordon comes back with a well dressed man who was tall and big. Honestly the guy kinda reminds him of his dad. Danny represents a shiver.
“Son, this is Bruce Wayne. He’s taken in a couple other boys in their time of need. I think you’ll find you’ll fit in well with his many children,” the Commissioner explains with a tight smile.
Danny tilts his head, looking behind the man to the man and woman duo who hold hands while staring at the man lovingly. He parents probably from the rumors. Maybe he’ll try talking to them later.
“Wayne as in like The Bruce Wayne? Like Wayne Enterprises?”
The man smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Yes, that Bruce Wayne. Nice to meet you, Daniel.”
“It’s Danny. Just Danny.”
“My butler, Alfred, just made some cookies. If we’re lucky, there will still be some left over.”
Danny perks up. Sweet! Cookies!
“You have a butler? Wack. But cookies are a yes. Let’s go! Are we done, Mr. Gordon?”
Mr. Wayne seems to blink at his easy behavior, like he was surprised Danny was so okay after just killing a man. Mr. Gordon just smiles at him, but Danny can see the concern in his eyes.
“You can go, but remember you have mandatory therapy that Mr. Wayne will make sure you get to. It’s only for three months but more sessions will be added on if you don’t cooperate so keep that in mind,” the man warns.
Danny gives the man a two finger salute.
“Roger roger!” He turns to Mr. Wayne. “Can we go now?”
“Sure.”
Turns out Alfred the butler left aside two delicious chocolate chip cookies for him. He munches on them as he observes the others in the house, but mostly the shades attached to them and the feeling of death-touched from a few of them. The one the feeling was coming from the most is the first to hug him tightly and thank him for killing the Joker.
Oh.
“Was he the one that killed you?” Danny asks without thinking it through.
The arms tighten around him and there is a collective silence as the words register. Then lots and lots of questions and suspicious looks.
It was a very long night.
#dp x dc#danny fenton#danny phantom#batman#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp#bruce wayne#story ideas#joker#shades#Danny helping them move on#gotham#is full of them#Danny kills the Joker#Jason is so grateful and relieved#Damian approves#Dick is concerned#tim is so done#fill in the blank#about why Danny is in Gotham#or what happened with the Fentons
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Dick (Nightwing) and Jason (Robin) stare at Bruce. One sports pleading eyes, the other a shit eating grin. There’s a child between them with black hair and blue eyes.
Bruce, he doesn’t know what’s happening but he doesn’t like it: No.
Dick, grinning: He’s our younger brother now.
Jason, nodding seriously: You’re not gonna take him from us.
Tim, got kidnapped while taking photos of patrol, just happy to be there: Where’s the Batcave?
Bruce: what.
Dick, grinning wider: He’s ours now.
#batman#dc comics#kid!tim#I love those fics#they need to make Nightwing a little more unhinged tho#like I would expect both Jason and Dick to hate each other until they find a common enemy (Bruce)#and annoy the shit out of him#or until they find stalker Timothy Drake following them are met with a bought of brotherly concern so strong they don’t even blink an ey#they don’t even care when tim accidentally calls them by their civilian name#they just look at each other and kidnap him#Tim’s just along for the ride#he gets to swing with them through Gotham (so cool!!) and ride nightwings motorbike!!! and see the batcave!!!#little eight year old Tim’s dream come true#tim Drake#Jason Todd#dick Grayson#Robin#Nightwing#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam#mine
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Dick 'I am very much aware that my brother could snap at any moment and kill us all and I can and will make a joke out of it' Grayson
Tim you are literally
this close
#wayne family adventures#tim drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#batfamily#feral tim drake#bro is one cornchip away#tim and dick's sibling relationship is funny and amazing but also concerning at times
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The first time, Tim notices someone observing them from afar, it is when they are all settled for a brief dinner together. It is the middle of the week, and Bruce gathered all of them together to... relax. Which is strange but not unwelcome. Everyone is so involved in chattering and bantering that they don't notice a lingering gaze through the window; they don't, but Tim does.
It takes him a few seconds to figure out that it is Jason.
He is not sure if Bruce reached for him to invite, and Jason just declined, or there was no offer to begin with, but Tim knows for sure Jason lurkes behind windows for a few minutes before disappearing in the night.
And the funniest thing? Tim understands him.
He thinks he is not Jason's replacement — never truly was, despite what the other thought — but in a way, they did swap their places. Because in the past, it was Tim, who hid on the rooftops, staring at Bruce and his family, listening to the snippets of their conversations. And now it is Jason.
It is still different, of course. Tim had a choice, and it was his... enthusiastic project, if anything — Jason doesn't really. But if anyone understands the feeling of standing far away from everyone, it is still Tim.
That's why the next time in happens, Tim reaches out.
It is after the particularly easy mission, when Tim spots the red motion on the rooftop. He slips away from Nightwing and Robin, who debate about something with Batman through the comms, and finds himself standing behind Red Hood.
The way Red Hood taps his fingertips on the balustrade makes Tim remember that he is not included in their comms anymore. He wonders how lonely it is, to hear the voices of his brothers, but never being able to grasp the whole conversation they have.
'Hood,' he calls for him.
To Jason's credit, he doesn't scramble in panic, even if it seems that he is surprised by his appearance.
'Red,' he mutters back, instantly defensive. 'What, came to mock me?'
Tim rolls his eyes; he wishes things would be easier with Jason, but they are not, and he can't really blame him for that.
'Had I ever mocked you?' He copies his stance, arms folding in the chest. When Jason tilts his head, almost asking, "Really now?" Tim rolls his eyes again. 'Okay, I did a few times. But it mostly were jokes about your death.'
Jason chuckles.
'Good one, punk. It changes everything.'
'You like jokes about your death,' Tim protests. 'And I know you allow Arsenal to joke about it, so it is not entirely closed topic.'
'I don't remember allowing you to joke about it, though.'
...
This conversation is so fucking stupid. Tim didn't even came here for this, but-
But fine. He still can win.
'So, you only allow it to your friends. Fine. Let's be friends,' Jason chokes on his own exhausted sigh. 'Do you need some friendship questionnaires to fill to be my friend? I can arrange that.'
Jason kindly flips him off under his breath before disappearing in the night, leaving him alone with whining Nightwing and irritated Bruce in his ear.
The next time he stalks down Jason, who in turn is stalking Damian and Bruce, he shoves in his hand twenty three papers filled with bunch of friendship questions — half stripped from internet, half made by Tim that involve the specifics of their jobs.
He doesn't expect anything to come after it, but in two weeks after Jason returns to the city after his mission with Outlaws, Tim finds these papers filled with surprisingly neat, calligraphic answers.
And he gets the printed copy of the same questions, with one page of an additional one, written in the same handwriting, and with a little sticky note atop of it.
Your turn, Timbo.
Tim smirks.
Oh, he will so drag Jason back in the family, somehow.
#jason's answers stuck somewhere between being some batshit lore drops and the sweetest shit ever#like yeah when he was six he witnessed a man in the neighbourhood killing his daughter... and the next answer is like OH I LOVE DOGS :(#tim gets concerned after reading bunch of his lore like poor boy yeah#BUT JASON GETS CONCERNED AFTER TIM'S ANSWERS BECAUSE WTF IS GOING ON IN HIS BRAINS?#tim also encourages jason's pettiness so now they have comm only between each other that they demonstratively use all the time#dick is restless wdym he is not included??? he is their favorite#jason messages him that tim is his favorite now#the chaos ensues#jason todd#red hood#dcu comics#dc universe#dcu#batfamily#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#dick grayson#tim drake#red robin
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Yandere! Damian x Danny
.
.
.
The Al Ghul’s did not believe in love.
In strength, intelligence, in power — always.
But love is a word, a title to use, to manipulate and create whatever they wished from another.
This is a fact: the Al Ghul’s did not believe in love, nor did they feel it.
But Damian thinks that perhaps this is close to it. This funny little feeling in his chest that burns and aches in a way that leaves him breathless. That funny little feeling in his bones that itches to hold Daniel close until he is rooted into his shape and scent. That funny little feeling in his throat that wanted to bite Daniel until only the scars of his teeth remained and Daniel’s blood spilled and stained with life turned cold.
Damian knows this is love, because what else is this need to possess and hold, and tear every other inch of Daniel apart from this world and make him his own?
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc crossover#batman#dp x dc prompt#Damian x Danny#yandere damian wayne#Damian loves his boy failure#Danny is literally just some guy#but with some ghost#not that Damian or anyone else knows.#The batfam are HIGH KEY concerned#they want to separate Damian and Danny#but Damian had already tried to amputate Dick’s legs when he suggested it#Damian: you will live if not crawl#Damian is an unhinged boy#he has not had the best influence when it comes to relationships#even with the Batfam and Bruce Damian still takes que from what the Al Ghul’s do#he will either marry Danny or lock him up in a basement#dead serious
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One of my favorite tropes is that the entire superhero community can’t believe batman is just a human.
“I thought you were a meta?”
“No.”
“Well how did you do that?”
“(Long explanation of a tech he invented.)”
“Oh so you have super intelligence.”
“No…. I’m just smart.”
Then they meet Robin and assume he’s super powered.
“Bit of a hypocrite to have a super kid when you won’t even let us in the city.”
“Robin isn’t a meta.”
“WhAT?? He’s just a CHILD??”
They think this with every new Gotham vigilante. Some still refuse to believe Nightwing isn’t a meta.
“Humans can’t bend that much okay?”
“He’s… well trained.”
“Batman you can’t expect us to believe that.”
#Bruce Wayne#batman#meta#dc superheroes#superman is concerned#batman is not a meta#dc tropes#Robin#nightwing#dick Grayson
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Can we have some more bilingual Damian Wayne moments please?
They did it a little in older comics with him speaking in his own language as well as Cantonese in one comic panel I can remember. Besides those two and English I don’t know what other languages he speaks, but at minimum it’s three, though I feel like the league would’ve probably trained him in more.
Still I haven’t seen it as often and it makes me sad, because as a bilingual person with many bilingual friends the fuck ups are usually hilarious.
Like with Damian especially I feel like he would overcorrect cause the English language has so many exceptions to it’s very loosely defined gramma rules and he’s such a perfectionist that he would stick to that shit even after finding out it’s wrong, I also think it would drive him a little bit insane cause it’s technically right, but it also isn’t (not speaking from experience at all).
Also while we’re at it let’s just throw the rest of the Batfam in there cause I’m pretty sure they all speak at least one other language. I want a comic panel like the scene in Umbrella Academy where Diego and Ben start arguing in Spanish and Korean respectively except it’s eight kids all screaming (or signing) at each other in several languages some of which aren’t even human.
#batfam#dc comics#dc#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#damian wayne#headcannons#I got nicknamed Yoda cause I kept swapping adjective and noun placements so as far as I’m concerned Damian does the same thing#projecting? whose she?
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All I want is Peter going.
Peter: "I'm Robin! Because Tata said so!"
Dick: *Crying, absolutely destroyed yet still with so much love for his son.* "T-thats right, you're Robin."
(Damian and Peter can share the title, but I just find the idea of 4 year old Pete being possessive of the nickname cute and sad at the same time)
the second they figure out WHY peter thinks this, Dick is in shambles (actually all of them are). Damian's like "i can't even argue because he's 4 years old. curse it all"
#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#leap of faith catch me if you can#peter parker#dick grayson#damian wayne#tim in the last part Concerned because of the history#dami is fine
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REPRESSED HOMOSEXUALS EXPOSURE THERAPY
#sarge WILL still laugh at them and be concerned for simmons's taste. yes he is still bisexual in MY rvb#to be clear he just thinks he's being Better Gay than everyone else#“whats more honorably homosexual than fighting alongside and dying in your fellow man's arms” -sarge probably#kudos if you read the tags and got my bisexual sarge thoughts#it's me. your local guy who spedrun rvb and its fandom#grimmons#dick simmons#richard simmons#dexter grif#simmons rvb#sarge rvb#grif rvb#red vs blue#rvb#rvb doodles#kaikaina grif#lavernius tucker#leonard church#michael j caboose#franklin delano donut#doc rvb#agent carolina#i told myself i wouldnt tag everyone and then i tagged everyone#unhealthy habits do not replicate
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inspired by those textposts about dick rocking up to the rest of titans with tim for the first time and kori et al. being like: is that the stalker kid???
bonus:
warm ups:
#sart#dc#koriand'r#tim drake#victor stone#dick grayson#dick & tim#'i'll do a quick meme redraw between things' <- A FOOL#i was skimming ntt issues for costume refs and im. So concerned#also apologies to the people who've actually read ntt i could not for the life of me tell who was and wasnt still part of the roster#by the time tim is fully robin and hanging with dick#i dont think i did kori's hair justice :')#and i chickened out of her og costume bc it's. a Lot#also this is unironically my favorite nightwing look#MULLETWING MY BELOVED#GONE TOO SOON#at least in batman collected stuff#ig i have to read ntt too at some point#ALSO if anyone knows the textpost im talking about!!! pls lmk#bc i cant find it
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Jason at the bank: do you need anything else?
Banker: we need proof that you are who you say you are.
Jason *pulling out his death certificate*: does this work?
Dick *sitting next to him groaning*: I knew this was a bad idea.
#batfam headcanons#jason todd#dick grayson#bat brothers#bat family#batfam#batfamily#jason is a mood#jason todd deserves better#jason and dick#dick is concerned#incorrect dick grayson#dick greyson#dick grayson needs a break#incorrect jason todd#bat family incorrect#incorrect batfamily#nightwing#red hood#cardinalcrap#500+
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Gotham rogues when ppl are taking the Gotham Census:
“Average Gothamite gets kidnapped at least 3-4 times in their life" factoid actually just statistical error. We only kidnap the average Gothamie 1-2 in their life :)
Robin (aka The Boy Hostage), who gets kidnapped every other night and treats it like a hobby, is an outlier and should not have been counted
#dick grayson#richard grayson#batfam#nightwing#robin#dc robin#dick grayson as robin#concerned originals
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Kid!Tim, showing Robin his room: So we have my photography cubby, not to be confused by my homework cubby. Then my desk, bed, conspiracy wall, wardrobe, other desk for my conspiracy wall-
Robin!Jason, nodding along with a fake smile. Pointing towards a side desk with candles and several framed photos of Batman: And what’s that over there.
Tim: oh that’s just my Batman shrine.
Jason: Ah.
Tim: Anyway! This is the kennel for all four of my stuffed dogs, my bookshelf for my conspiracy wall-
#and then Tim goes through the pictures he’s been taking of their patrol and Jason has never run so fast while carrying another person#when they get to the manor Bruce is concerned#dick is having the time of his life cuddling little Tim#and Tim is explaining his conspiracy board very thoroughly so that everyone knows HE guessed their identities first#dc comics#dc#batfam#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne#robin#jason todd#tim drake#kid!tim#incorrect quotes#mine
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I feel like ppl focus on Bruce training the robins to kick ass from a young age when that’s definitely not all that was. He had to teach them field medicine and how to pick locks and sneak around silently and how to notice things, sure he taught them how to hit things with sticks of multiple sizes, but he also taught them how to grapple around and land from a fall.
They probably had intimidation lessons and interrogation lessons and sessions where they just meditated for hours straight. They’re taught how to calm down civilians and to train their voices to sound different in costume and so many things that would make them the most terrifying children to live with.
Bruce is actively training them to be good at bothering him because they like trying out their new espionage skills at Galas and trying to sneak around him while he’s asleep to prank him.
When we think of training to be Robin it’s easy to think of sparring and gymnastics equipment when it’s fun to remember the other parts of it. Some days Bruce would probably just give the kids a Hunt a Killer box and a time limit.
#I think he’d get weirdly into making training exercises with oddly specific parts#by the time they’re out on the streets they have a lot of tools in their belt not just literally#like just to use batarangs they’d have to practice with darts and throwing knives and then get to batarangs#there’s a target range for grappling guns and smoke bombs and and approx 15 different weapons they have to learn#they would have to have a surprising amount of medical knowledge and various detective skills that definitely make any adult that finds out#-very concerned#they’re taught how to recognize fear toxin and if they’re hallucinating and what to do to keep themselves safe#batman would not go halfway with this shit man#he would be a good teacher as long as he’s teaching the most crazy shit#Bruce Wayne teaching self defense classes in Gotham would go hard though it would be funny#batman and robin#batman#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#stephanie brown
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Jason: Fuck's wrong with Timberlina over there?
Tim, hunched over the batcomputer, eyes feverish, slightly shaking: Drank two mugs of dark coffee and then a slightly larger jug of light coffee today. Think I'm gonna see God in a bit now.
Dick: ...should i call B?
Damian, setting another cup next to Tim: Not yet, Grayson. I'm curious to see how long before Drake starts seeing the ghosts of my ancestors.
#based on real life incident#exams had me by the ass#dick is quick to snatch the cup away#lectures dami on trying to fuck up tims nervous system#and tim on the harmful effects of excessive coffee intake#and lack of proper rest#tim dont give a shit#jasons in the corner trying to decide whether to laugh or be concerned#batfamily#batman#tim drake#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#damian al ghul#batboys#batkids#batman family#batfam#incorrect quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#dc comics
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